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“I know it’s necessary in order to be reborn…! But will love be gone too?”
And what about Death…?
Nyamu couldn’t stop thinking about Mortis. Life was unfair, wasn’t it? She took the courage to confess before their performance and, in the span of a song, the magic vanished when the strum of a guitar string imprisoned her beloved somewhere out of reach.
She hated it— this feeling, when she reached out through the emptiness, calling Death upon her to finally, finally receive the release of her warm embrace. She should have known that for a Doll, Death only appeared as a sweet illusion.
Unless…?
When Muuko entered the room and immediately leaned into her role, Nyamu lent herself to dream that maybe Mortis wasn’t completely gone.
“Are you going to accompany me?” She asked as Mutsumi was already holding out to grab her guitar.
She expected the other girl to ignore her and focus on her precious instrument, but the guitarist paused. To her surprise, Mutsumi agreed and extended her arms, calling Amoris to her. The gesture made Nyamu’s heart skip a beat.
What was that? And who?
A plethora of emotions invaded Nyamu— jealousy, fear, rivalry, excitement, and affection. She hated how Mutsumi’s mere presence was enough to make her feel like she wasn’t good enough, that she was missing something . Yet, she couldn’t help but believe that what she missed was Mutsumi herself. Hating but loving. Two feelings that were opposites, and yet, it only took one step to turn one emotion into the other.
Love and Death were also often paired together in tragedies.
“Ain’t no way I’m gonna lose to you!” Was all Nyamu could muster. She noticed the smallest glint in the other girl’s golden eyes, and suddenly, Nyamu needed to understand.
She wanted to know her. All of her, because Muuko was such a talented, fascinating creature. When the drummer met her bandmate for the first time, she immediately got interested in getting to know her without being even aware of Mortis’s existence. Of course, her former interest was purely to benefit from her family connection.
But then, she couldn’t tear her eyes off the beautiful genius she discovered under the surface. Meeting Mortis made her question herself on the deepest level— her acting, her talent, her sexuality… So, what about Mutsumi?
From what she could observe through their current interaction, Mortis was still living in Mutsumi, two sides of the same coin. They weren’t the terrifying monsters that Minami Mori described, but the prettiest and rarest gems she had ever seen. And yet, Nyamu still didn’t know how to behave and react around Mutsumi.
If she had feelings for the alter ego, how couldn’t Nyamu say the same words to Mutsumi?
The other girls’ arrival interrupted her trail of thought and the opportunity to practice with the guitarist. Without a word, Nyamu sat behind her drums and settled into observing Mutsumi like a curious cat. Maybe in the long run, this could help her put a name on whatever she felt for this side of the girl, too.
Once practice ended, Umiri called them to organize the planning for the upcoming week.
“... And then one of our clients asked if we could shoot in another fashion magazine for one of their collabs. This one is specifically to promote couple fashion.”
“Couple?!” Uika immediately perked up like a puppy, which made Nyamu roll her eyes.
“The client also specified they want Wakaba-san to be part of the project.”
“Oh…” Uika sighed, falling back onto the couch.
Nyamu snickered.
“What is it, Uiko? Don’t you think that Muuko would be perfect for this role?” She approached Mutsumi, grabbing one of the girl’s hands in hers, and using her second hand to delicately brush Mutsumi’s cheek. “You already shot with her, you know she has the perfect figure, the perfect acting for this role. She could be your damsel in distress…” Nyamu moved the guitarist’s hand to her lips and placed a delicate kiss on it before she moved both her hands to wrap them around the girl’s neck. Mutsumi remained perfectly unphased the whole time. “... Or she could even be your prince charming. A world of possibilities in one girl’s talent-”
“You get it!” Umiri banged her fist into her palm, her azure eyes shining with contained excitement. “This is exactly why I told the client that you should be the one shooting with Wakaba-san!”
“Huh?!” Nyamu quickly disentangled herself from the guitarist, who simply tilted her head as she watched the drummer take a few steps backward. “YOU took the decision?”
“Of course.” Umiri grinned, seemingly proud of herself. “Your chemistry with Wakaba-san in our latest live performance impressed many. The label received innumerable demands for more of Mortis and Amoris together, and I believe this is a great start to give our audience what they requested.”
“See, Umiko, this is why you are untrustworthy. You didn’t even consult us before.” She watched as Umiri’s face went pale at the words.
“I didn’t mean to affect your trust in me. I apologize if my actions were too hasty and if I was wrong to believe you would be interested.”
Was it her imagination or was Umiri trying to set them up? It was hard to read what was going on in the bassist’s mind, considering her aloof behavior. However, she noticed Umiri’s glances during practice and the various stickers she would send in chat whenever it came to romance. While the bassist rarely showed emotions, Nyamu was convinced she had a romantic soul.
Ugh, did it mean that her conflicted feelings about the green-haired girl were showing?
Mutsumi’s eyes were still on her, waiting for Nyamu’s answer with an unreadable expression. It didn’t fail to increase her frustration.
“Like I said to Muuko, I ain’t losing to her. Of course, I’m Interested in being her partner for the shooting!”
For a second, the faintest smile seemed to tug the corner of Mutsumi’s lips upward, before it faded as quickly as it happened. Nyamu felt her face warming up at the sight.
“Great, I will let the client know. I will email you two the address, you are expected there from tomorrow on at 6 pm for three shooting sessions.” Umiri gave them a thumbs-up before she vanished upstairs with her phone in hand, followed by Uika and Sakiko after they finished packing up and mouthed a quick goodbye. Nyamu remained in the room, observing Mutsumi as the girl placed her guitar gently next to her chair, before she turned and, once again, met her eyes.
“Nyamu, aren’t you leaving too? Do you want to practice a bit longer?”
“No, I’m good.” She answered, trying to hide her mixed emotions upon hearing her name without honorific— a sign she was facing Mutsumi. She grabbed her bag and made her way to the staircase. “We could practice before or after the shooting if you’re okay with that. Anyway, I’ll get going. Bye bye~”
“See you tomorrow, Nyamu-chan.” Another tone as Nyamu passed next to the other girl, making her immediately stiffen. She slowly turned her face, eyes widening as she noticed a familiar grin that made her heart race.
What-
Part of Nyamu wanted to stay, to take her in her arms. But when the other girl looked back at her with a different expression, the drummer quickly left the room without another glance.
Why was she running away? Nyamu wasn’t scared of her bandmate, not anymore. She also thought she had finally accepted her feelings for the other girl. So, why did her heart hurt this badly when the concept of Mortis vanished like a mirage?
When it came to Wakaba Mutsumi, Nyamu knew that she would need to spend much more time by her side to finally understand all the emotions she felt around her.
The shooting pushed Nyamu out of her comfort zone. While she had experience regarding fashion and collaborating with other artists either on her channel or during events, it was the first time she participated to a photoshoot with her… Bandmate.
She thought it would be a simple formality, another day of work that she would conveniently spend with her stage rival— a good opportunity to observe her and learn from her gestures while sharing the spotlight with her. However, the moment Mutsumi entered the set clad in a suit, her hair tied in a ponytail, Nyamu suddenly lost her pride and composure.
With their height difference, the obvious choice would have been to put Mutsumi in similar feminine fashions she usually wore during photoshoots, and Nyamu in a matching masculine outfit. That day, it seemed that the magazine wanted a breeze of freshness and to break the codes. They would switch roles between shoots, of course. But this particular one happened to be challenging for the drummer.
“Yutenji-san, I want you to sit on this chair. Wakaba-san will place her hand around your waist, and I want you to lazily wrap an arm around her neck and look at her like there’s no one else in the world. Wakaba-san, I want your gaze plunged into hers with a similar expression. Can you two give me that vibe?”
Easier said than done. The drummer was only wearing a thin lavender dress. The moment Mutsumi rested her hands on Nyamu’s waist, the sensation immediately made her flinch. Part of her wanted to ask for a break and stop right then and there, alarm running all over her brain. Still, another part wished they could be even closer.
“Nyamu?” Mutsumi called her gently, making the drummer realize that everyone was staring at her inaction.
She took a profound inspiration. Get yourself together, Nyamu. Remember what your name stands for, and how wheat only grows stronger after being trampled on! Didn’t she promise herself to not run away anymore?!
Pulling her perfect stage confidence, she pivoted enough to wrap an arm around Mutsumi’s neck and met her eyes. As her magenta gems plunged into golden ones, it wasn’t hard to pretense that nothing else mattered anymore. Out of all the ‘couple’ pictures they took together, this felt certainly like the most intimate one. There was something about the guitarist's unwavering gaze that seemed to pierce through her armor, she couldn’t explain this unparalleled sensation— both scary yet extremely comforting.
She didn’t even hear the photograph when he marked the end of the photoshoot and told them they could break the pose. It was only when Mutsumi nodded and moved away that Nyamu blinked away her trance.
To think it was only the first day… She sighed, joining her shooting partner in the changing room.
“Good job, Muuko. You’re certainly a natural when it comes to baiting!” She tried to sound as casual and friendly as possible.
“Baiting…?” Mutsumi looked at her in slight confusion.
“Ah, right, you’re probably not familiar with these kinds of things… Anyway, I’m looking forward to working more with you.”
Mutsumi nodded before she focused back on changing to her casual clothes. Nyamu wanted to add something, to keep the conversation going but when it came to Mutsumi, she had a hard time understanding what was the best way to communicate with the girl. Unlike Mortis, who was extroverted and very easy to talk to, Mutsumi was mostly characterized by silence and small gestures to express herself. While she appeared more talkative and less afraid to speak her mind since their latest live performance, Nyamu still had to observe and find out how to comprehend the other girl and communicate with her without making her uncomfortable.
Thankfully, between the band and the ‘extra’, they were meant to spend a good amount of time together— more than enough for Nyamu to figure out.
“Say,” Nyamu spoke up again as soon as she finished changing her clothes. “Since we are coming to the photoshoot together, how about I also walk you home afterward?”
Mutsumi looked at her, her eyes glowing under the dim lights of the room. “Want to practice our stage lines on the way back?”
Nyamu blinked. “That wasn’t what I had in mind, but I wouldn’t complain if you’re up for it.”
“Okay.”
Were things always this simple with the guitarist? Months prior, before Mortis even showed up, she swore that Mutsumi wanted nothing to do with her outside their strictly professional exchange, and probably didn’t hold a good opinion of her. To think that she would offer to practice their line together and accept to walk home together? Usually, Nyamu didn’t care what people thought about her, no matter if positive or negative. But for some reason, she was excited at the prospect of getting closer to Mutsumi.
Their walk was sprinkled with small talk, comfortable silences, and acting rehearsal. The half-an-hour route between the studio and the other girl’s place felt like a couple minutes by Mutsumi’s side.
Still, Nyamu enjoyed the girl’s presence. She felt like growing as an actress each time they were rehearsing together, and for the first time, was genuinely interested in learning details about someone else’s life.
In the evening, during her drumming practice session, a notification popped up from the Ave Mujica group chat. Nyamu put her stick to the side and grabbed her phone, her curiosity picked up. She almost choked when she was greeted by some of the pictures from their earlier photoshoot shared by Umiri, with her signature ‘in tears’ panda emoticon as a comment.
“ Umiko what the hell?!” Nyamu immediately typed, feeling both angry and flustered. “ Why do YOU have the pictures?”
“The client always sends us the pictures in the business mailbox after each photoshoot so we can see them and agree with the results, and since I’m managing said email address…”
She vaguely remembered seeing pictures from previous photoshoots shared in the chat in the past but never cared enough to check them out - except for the ones related to Mortis.
“Wow, you two look really good together!” Uika typed, adding a lot of star emoticons at the end of her message.
Nyamu wanted to say something about how she was always looking good, but the next message stopped her in her tracks.
“ I like them.”
Mutsumi rarely reacted to side business topics outside of giving her approval. This kind of reply was unusual, enough to give a weird fluttering feeling in Nyamu’s stomach as she re-read the answer as it had been sent by an alien.
“Yeah, they are good.” She finally typed after double-checking the pictures - and saving some of them in her phone.
She received an immediate notification from Umiri in private.
“Aren’t you happy that I recommended you?”
“Don’t be cheeky with me, Umiko. Are you tryin’ to put us together?”
“I’m just rooting for you two.”
Nyamu’s eye twitched in annoyance. “Shouldn’t you stick with your own love life instead of getting involved in mine? This is why you’re still single.”
“Oh, I’m currently working on mine as well, don’t worry about it.”
The call of gossip became suddenly stronger than her former exasperation. “And you’re just gonna drop this without even giving a name? Spill!”
“You don’t know her so it isn’t important. I can only tell you that she is a drummer.”
“Oh, I see that you have a type. Gotcha~”
“A much cuter one.”
“See, this is why I can’t fully trust you when you’re being a cheeky brat.”
The cute happy wolf emote that followed wasn’t the reaction Nyamu expected to receive.
“Does that mean that you trust me a bit?”
“I’m done with this conversation, Umiko.”
As much as it hurt her to admit it, having Umiri’s support when it came to their bandmate meant a lot to Nyamu. Even though Sakiko and Mutsumi weren’t as tied up together as they used to be, she knew that Sakiko wouldn’t approve of their blooming proximity. And outside of Umiri, it wasn’t like Nyamu had a lot of friends in Tokyo to talk about her struggle.
She wasn’t entirely sure she considered the bassist as a friend, but maybe in the future, she could consider gossiping a bit more with her— at least, if the other girl was cooperative enough to share juicy details about her love life.
On the second day of the photoshoot, Nyamu handed a small bag to her business partner.
“What is this?” Mutsumi asked as she opened the bag and made a few seeds roll in her palm.
“You told me the last time that you were planting vegetables in your school’s garden, so I picked up a few zucchini seeds for you,” Nyamu explained, quickly grabbing her phone and browsing through the pictures she saved to display a zucchini flower. “The flowers are edible too. When I saw their sun color, it made me think about you, and since you enjoy gardening, it was the obvious pick.”
Especially Mutsumi’s eyes, whose color and beauty easily rivaled the sun. She didn’t have to explain that part, obviously.
Nyamu was still in the process of figuring out her feelings and getting closer to the other girl sounded like the best approach. It wasn’t like she didn’t want to be close to her in the first place.
Or maybe she was just running away from the obvious like she did for a long time with Mortis.
The small, genuine smile that illuminated Mutsumi’s face only fueled Nyamu’s inner desire to give so much more to the other girl. “Thank you. I’ll plant them near the bitter melons.”
Nyamu took a few steps closer, her eyes never leaving the guitarist. The other girl held her gaze with curiosity.
“Say, Muuko. I heard that a movie about a famous guitarist would air on the day of our last photoshoot. I think it could be fun if we go together. You’re up for it?”
While she kept her cool on the outside, Nyamu held her breath, apprehending the other girl’s answer. She watched as the other girl tilted her head, seemingly pondering the prospect.
“A movie about a guitarist?”
“Yes. I thought it would be fun for the both of you.”
It could be a hit or miss. At this point, she wasn’t even certain about what happened to Mortis, and how Mutsumi was feeling about all this. It would give her an answer to her current suspicion. Also, she wanted to show her that she cared about her as a whole.
Mutsumi blinked, once, twice, before her expression turned into a challenging one. Then, in a second, two shades of smiles illuminated her pretty face— bright as the sun, then softer as the moon. This was the confirmation Nyamu needed.
“Okay.” She simply answered, visibly satisfied.
The drummer finally released the breath she was holding this whole time, grinning. “I’m looking forward to it!” She hopped up from one foot to the other like a satisfied cat, which didn’t fail to make Mutsumi slightly chuckle.
A rare sight. Another win.
The remainder of the photoshoots passed in a blink of an eye. Unlike the first one, the two other sessions became natural for Nyamu— she wouldn’t have minded playing the role of a couple with Mutsumi for a little longer.
After they thanked the staff like Nyamu always made a point of doing so, the two girls made their way to the movie theater. This would be the first time the drummer would watch a movie with someone since she came to Tokyo. Being part of the industry and of an acting school could be cruel on that matter— as extroverted as she was, Nyamu mostly mingled with people out of business interest, and the advantage she could get out of collaboration more than developing real friendships. She similarly considered Ave Mujica when she first joined the band, although the recent reunion could maybe bring some change to their relationships in the future. Not that Nyamu particularly cared about it, but if she had to spend more time with these girls, having a friend inside the group wouldn’t hurt.
She didn’t know if Mutsumi could play such a part in her life. When she considered becoming closer to the girl, she never viewed their potential link as mere friends. Nyamu saw her as a rival, to begin with.
As for now… Mutsumi still held this title but was also so much more. The drummer didn’t want to put a label on it, despite her previous confession to Mortis. Right now, she was simply vibing with the girl, enjoying her presence and observing her until she could properly sort her feelings.
“Want something to drink before we go in? It’s on me!” Nyamu offered.
Mutsumi scanned the shop menu. “Just a bottle of tea, thank you.”
“Nothing else?” She asked again, making sure to make the other girl understand that the proposal stood for both.
“I’m good, thank you, Nyamu-chan!”
Once she got their two teas, they made their way inside and took a seat on an empty row. Not that their screening room was particularly crowded- somehow, the movie didn’t seem to interest many, judging by the amount of empty seats. If it weren’t for the few people in front of them, they would be completely alone. Nyamu hoped it wasn’t an indication of the quality of the movie.
A few minutes after the movie began, the drummer became self-conscious of the situation she was in— at the cinema, almost alone with a girl she had complicated feelings about yet one she definitely fancied. While Nyamu loved to tease others and display confidence when it came to these topics, it was the first time she felt this way about someone. Of course, she read a lot about what to do during a date. But was their outing a date? Had she offered to watch a movie screening with anyone else, they would have gotten the hint. Except that Mutsumi wasn’t anyone, and Mortis didn’t have any experience in love either.
So Nyamu simply stole a few glances toward the other girl, placing her hand on the armrest next to Mutsumi’s, their fingers almost touching. The guitarist seemed absorbed by the film, though. She didn’t react to Nyamu's attempt to get closer, her attention fully focused on the on-screen guitar, and her eyes shining whenever she heard a riff.
Just my luck! Nyamu sighed. Still, she couldn’t help but smile at the endearing reaction from her bandmate. She found herself more interested in observing her than the movie itself. After all, Mutsumi had some of the cutest reactions Nyamu ever witnessed.
She just hoped the other girl wouldn’t be more verbose than usual after the screening and engage in a conversation about the movie because, by the end of it, the drummer couldn’t remember anything about the plot!
“Did you enjoy the movie?” She asked once they were out of their silent train ride and started walking in Mutsumi’s place direction.
The green-haired girl nodded. “The guitar was singing all the time. It was beautiful.”
“Yours is the same, Muuko.”
Nyamu wondered if she had said something wrong when the girl immediately looked at her in sheer surprise.
“I mean, I don’t know what happened during our latest live performance, but I could hear it, the difference in your sound.”
“You… heard it?” Mutsumi echoed, blinking.
“I’ll be honest, at first I didn’t like it. Because when I heard this sound, I thought that I would never see Mortis again. Then I observed and listened and well, I don’t know how you felt and what happened to you two, but it was like you found the answer that gave more intensity to your play.”
The other girl looked down and remained silent. Nyamu frowned, unsure about how to interpret the girl’s reaction. Well, her words were genuine, she certainly wouldn’t apologize or try to clarify them.
A soft pressure around her hand jolted her out of her thoughts. She looked down, only to notice Mutsumi’s hand holding onto hers.
She gasped. Her instinct screamed to yank it away and move further from the other girl. Since she met Mutsumi and Mortis, Nyamu had feared the unpredictable— a personality far from what she had imagined of a celebrity’s daughter, a genius talent superior to anything she had seen, and the feelings she got for this girl. The drummer always tried to initiate interactions with her bandmate, adding some sort of anticipation to the uncertainty. Whenever the green-haired girl acted first, Nyamu ran away, fearing the effect it had on her pride, her self-esteem, her acting, and her emotions.
But didn’t she already accept her feelings for Mortis? Didn’t she promise to never flee again?
Wordlessly, she interlocked their fingers together and gave a gentle squeeze without peeking for Mutsumi’s reaction. She simply straightened herself, looking forward, trying to ignore the warmth against her skin, the dainty blush that probably colored her face, and the butterflies fluttering in her belly.
They didn’t let go once they reached Mutsumi’s home, even though Nyamu usually parted ways in front of the gate. This time, she accompanied the other girl inside. At this point, she would have followed her to the end of the country if she were told to if it meant holding onto this feeling a bit longer.
“Oh, Nyamu-chan!” Minami Mori smirked as they entered the house before she gave an unpleasant look in their linked hands' direction. Instinctively, Nyamu let go as if she burnt herself, while Mutsumi simply walked away, ignoring her ‘mother’. “It’s unusual to see you this late. Did your photoshoot last longer than the previous ones?”
Nyamu glared at the actress she once admired, holding her gaze with defiance. She wondered how such a talented woman, on the top of the industry, could revel in the mediocrity of abandoning her own daughter out of fear. If Nyamu had dreamed of once becoming like her, Minami Mori became the symbol of everything Nyamu didn’t want to be. She told herself that if she once received opportunities in the industry, she never wanted to lose sight of the person she was and the people she wanted to inspire with her acting.
The drummer opened her mouth, wanting to say something, but the words died in her throat as Mutsumi spoke up.
“No, we went on a date.” She casually dropped, before she made her way upstairs, stopping midway to give a tiny nod to Nyamu before disappearing on the first floor. “See you tomorrow, Nyamu.”
Huh?! They WHAT?
Nyamu froze, rooted to her spot, her eyes widening as the words sank in. She ignored the disgusted expression that Minami Mori gave her passing her initial surprise because right now, she couldn’t care less about this woman.
The word made her heart thunder in her ribcage. Did Mutsumi consider their outing as a date? Was it Mortis idea? Was there a possibility that maybe both of them enjoyed Nyamu’s presence enough to perhaps consider their interaction as romantic? Was she losing her mind?
At this point, she was definitely losing her mind if she imagined that Mutsumi could hold any romantic feelings toward her. This girl had everything, and certainly a lot of girls closer to her heart than Nyamu could ever expect to be.
So how… How could those words give her so much hope all of a sudden?
She shook her head to collect her thoughts, bowed in Minami Mori’s direction, and immediately ran away from the house.
She promised herself to never run away anymore, indeed. But she didn’t want to give Minami Mori the chance to see her current emotions.
Right now, she wanted to keep these feelings to herself and hold them close like a precious, unreachable dream she never wanted to wake up from.
During their next rehearsal, Sakiko came up with a new vision for Ave Mujica. Gone were the dolls - at least, during their play: time for the knights to serve their Goddess - Oblivionis - wishing to forget about their sins and the darkened, empty world that was falling apart.
In Nyamu’s opinion, Sakiko still didn’t beat the rich girl’s band-playing hobby allegations. Since she announced her will to become God for Ave Mujica, the girl fully embraced her role. At least she seemed serious and dedicated to the band now that she became a guide for the poor lost sheep.
Well! Not that Nyamu cared, as long as the band found a common goal and could finally move on together. She wondered what happened during Uika and Sakiko's disappearance, but it certainly had a positive effect on both girls.
Besides, due to the strong demand of the audience, their next play would contain more scenes between Amoris and Mortis, much to Nyamu's satisfaction. Who else could brag about receiving God’s approval for a dance between Love and Death until the world breaks? This opportunity allowed the purple-haired girl to throw herself mind and body into acting— she always learned a lot whenever she rehearsed with Mutsumi. While she couldn’t stop herself from being jealous of the girl’s ease and talent on stage, her newfound rivalry fueled her with an unrivaled motivation that made her progress more than during her acting lessons.
Maybe one day, she could expect to reach the same level as this prodigy and stand by her side without feeling like everything she did was underwhelming.
Nyamu wasn’t sure what the other girl thought of being paired with someone like her so often. However, meeting before their band practice came as an unspoken agreement between them. The purple-haired made it a habit to come earlier to the Wakaba’s household and work on her script reading, and Mutsumi always joined her as soon as she returned from school. No words were needed, just a shared glance and they would embody their roles. Mortis would look into the void, watching the world crumbling while Amoris approached her, grabbed her hand, and began their dance.
“You should hold me more securely in your arm,” Mortis suggested after their third full rehearsal, her thin frame dangling awkwardly against Nyamu’s arm. Since they had more parts together, Mortis never hesitated to give her more advice when the drummer was hesitant with her acting. “Even if you are not looking at me in this scene, think of it as if we were slow waltzing and that you guided me backward in a dip.”
As if on cue, Mortis pulled Nyamu’s other hand to place it around her waist, then, once she was secured, placed her hand behind Nyamu’s neck to force eye contact. “Like this. I’m steadier.”
… How could this girl casually touch her and pull her close like this? Was she such a prodigy actress that she could keep her cool in any situation, or was she simply not attracted to Nyamu at all?!
On the outside, Nyamu frowned and gave the most annoyed expression she could muster, pulling the green-haired girl backward to her previous position and steadying her before she disentangled herself from her. Inside, though, she was freaking out.
“Maybe it would be better if I show you.”
Before the drummer could protest, the other girl already grabbed her hands and, in a perfect motion, made her sway while rehearsing as Amoris, and ended up with a flawless dip.
‘Please make me forget this love that fills me with envy and hate!’ Her text echoed in her head like a mantra. No sound escaped her mouth— she couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, as if she were paralyzed in Mortis’s arms. What was she doing wrong? Why did she remain unable to perform as perfectly?
… And why would this girl bother with someone like her?
The voice in her head became more distant as Mutsumi's golden eyes pierced through her soul. She never knew what to decipher in the girl’s impassive gems, or how to read her expressions - especially when Mutsumi was the one taking back control. So this time, she decided the read her gaze as a challenge.
She promised herself to never run away again. The Amoris part she had to play reflected her past self, the one tetanized in front of a monster.
But there were no monsters. And the girl that seemed beyond reach seemed to wait for her to catch up. Gently, patiently.
“Okay okay, I get it. Geez, did you have to show off like this?” Nyamu gritted her teeth as she stood back up before she sighed.
“Do you want to go again?”
“Yeah, ain’t no way I’m letting you have the last dance!”
Mutsumi nodded before she let Mortis lead back their inner waltz, and then let Amoris guide her around the edges of Paradisus.
“Better,” she murmured at the end of the movement.
“Heh, I might not be a natural, but I’m learning!” Nyamu gave her a cocky grin. “No way I’m losing to you during the actual play.”
“Is this a challenge?” Mortis smiled back sweetly. Too sweetly, maybe. The sugary look made Nyamu sweat at the potential implications and how terrifying it would be if the girl took her seriously. And perhaps also how exciting it would be…
The sound of applause jolted Nyamu out of her trail of thoughts. She almost dropped the other girl out of surprise. Thankfully she secured her back in her arms before Mutsumi could fall backward.
“Ah, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Umiri said in her usual unflappable expression. “I was just moved by your performance. It was absolute theater.”
“Are you making fun of me?” The purple-haired girl shot her an irritated glare as she properly moved away from Mutsumi, who immediately went to grab her guitar at the sight of the bassist.
“I’m one hundred percent serious.” Umiri grinned teasingly.
“... Yeah, I’m just going to ignore you.” Nyamu made her way to sit behind the drum as Sakiko and Uika entered the room.
The five girls continued the rehearsal of their new songs, pouring all their combined talent and souls into the sound. As they played, Nyamu observed once again the guitarist. While she used to look at Mortis whenever she was acting, she was now also watching Mutsumi performing on stage.
Truthfully, the musical stage wasn’t only part of Mutsumi’s world anymore. Someone looking at her closely would notice the twirl and swirl between Mutsumi and Mortis, taking control of the system when it was the most convenient. They worked together, with Mutsumi making her guitar sing along to Uika’s voice and Mortis playing with an imaginary crowd- the perfect union between music and acting, of the two halves of this girl’s soul.
These girls were more than fascinating: everything about her was beautiful.
As Nyamu poured an equal intensity into her drumming, she made up her mind when Mutsumi twirled with her guitar and Mortis winked in her direction.
Just like the other girl, she wouldn’t fear anymore. After their live performance, she would repeat her confession of love to her— all of her, both Mutsumi and Mortis.
Ave Mujica Mythologia marked their comeback as a band on the roof of the world, their instruments resonating through the room under the loud cheer of their audience. It was their circus, their universe, and the girls poured all their talents and souls into their performance.
It was crazy, how this band that united their destiny felt both like a prison and a liberation. Their ulterior motive to join the band in the first place didn’t matter anymore— being more than a month apart made them realize how empty and fearful their world was without Ave Mujica. They needed it.
Ave Mujica was all they had left.
When Nyamu came to Tokyo, she dreamed of becoming a multi-talented artist, someone whose words would carry weight in the industry and whose name would shine among the stars. Her popularity was rising, and she had thought that Ave Mujica was the springboard she needed to reach her goal. However, meeting Mutsumi and Mortis made her question every certainty and accepted facts. Her insecurities doomed her to failure. No matter how hard she tried, she would never be as talented, she would never act like her.
For long, she thought she had hated her for this, she had been jealous, and still was. She had wanted to use her for her own benefit, without realizing that she needed her as much as the band itself.
Nyamu realized that her growth as a talent and a person also meant embracing her fear to stop being scared. And just like Amoris, she didn’t fear love anymore.
For the first time, Ave Mujica felt genuinely fun. While everyone started by looking in a different direction, they were now finally in sync. As an actress, their theatrical intermission would put all the light on her acting. As a drummer, their new songs were demanding— each performance was a true challenge, where Nyamu could display the extent and result of her hard work for such an ecstatic audience.
And had also the full opportunity to observe the dance between Mutsumi and Mortis in front of her.
The peak of their waltz happened when they began to perform ‘ Alter Ego ’. The guitar shouted and stood out on stage, singing under Mutsumi’s skillful hands, while Mortis played with the audience. These girls shouldn’t have been there in the first place. While all of them were beyond talented, Mutsumi and Mortis were on another level. And now, Nyamu was delighted to be able to stand by her side on stage.
Sakiko might claim she would become God herself, but Nyamu’s true Divinity stood right in front of her— beyond her reach yet so close.
Soon enough, the music stopped to make way for their stage performance. Once she was done teasing Timoris, Amoris made her way toward Mortis and, just like during their rehearsal, began their waltz while the world was collapsing. The dip wasn’t too bad, either- maybe not as flawless as Mortis’s demonstration, but close enough to make Nyamu feel proud of her improvement.
… Then, she suddenly found herself pulled and in a swift motion, their position was reversed, with Mortis hovering over her. For a second, Nyamu’s heart thundered in her chest, alarms resonating through her head. She never expected the other girl to do her like this, to take their challenge seriously- to take her so seriously. She frowned at Mortis’s nonchalance, and couldn’t stop the blush threatening to take over her whole face. Once again, this girl won.
Her body reacted before her mind out of an adrenaline rush as she pushed Mortis away. The other girl didn’t show any surprise. She remained as unphased as ever, resuming her performance as if it were all part of the script.
Nyamu quickly collected herself, too. It was a miracle that her shaking didn’t show through her performance. Her acting really improved, after all.
Still, she couldn’t leave the other girl with another victory and needed to confront her after their concert.
The following performance of ‘ Musica Caelestis ’ ended under a thunder of applause and loud cheers from the crowd. Once again, Ave Mujica was a huge hit. After she posed with Umiri and then showed off to the audience, Nyamu’s gaze found Mutsumi, heart and mind united in one goal.
When the girls made their way backstage to join the resting area, the drummer strolled behind Uika, Sakiko, and Umiri. Her eyes met with Mutsumi’s once the other girl caught up and reached her level. Nyamu quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her to the side.
“What was that?” She finally asked, frowning with annoyance.
“A glimpse of the world collapsing.”
“Huh?” Nyamu blinked, not expecting the immediate act.
“It was a miserable world, where living was still slowly dying.”
… Or was it an act? Nyamu remembered this performance, she knew her lines by heart. “... That world, where you could only be fastened by false love.”
The other girl approached, with her gaze never leaving Nyamu. “We must destroy it. My life is set on so many deaths, even mine, or yours. Now, we are reborn, and we should create a new world.”
Nyamu’s eyes widened. The old world, where fear, pain, death, and false love prevailed. But now, they feared no more. Mutsumi and Mortis had never been so alive. And Nyamu had never been so in love. This wasn’t an act: it was an invitation.
She reached out to stroke the green-haired girl's cheek with her hand, taking a step closer to her. “A new world that only belongs to us,” she whispered.
“I do not fear,” Mutsumi whispered back.
“I love you.”
The dim light of the backstage danced through golden gems. They had never looked prettier than at this moment. “Are you saying these words to Mutsumi-chan?”
No more running away. “Our new world isn’t fastened by false love. Those words stand for both of you.”
The atmosphere grew heavier. They were close, so close. The dim light tricked her senses, too, because she could have sworn the other girl’s cheeks turned pink at those words.
Delicate hands cupped her face and before Nyamu realized that she was being pulled downward, soft lips were pressed against hers.
She had no experience in kissing anyone and didn’t expect it to ever happen with her crush. Mutsumi and Mortis were as inexperienced as she was— at least something they could perfect together through time and practice. Nyamu kissed her back, unsure about what to do as their lips meshed clumsily and slowly together. But God, this felt so right.
She almost smiled at the thought of Sakiko busting them and how their proverbial Goddess would react to the sight.
Not that she cared in the slightest. At this point, the world could have ended and it would be the last of her concerns.
They pulled away and pressed their forehead together. Nyamu opened her eyes she didn’t know she had closed in the first place, and met Mutsumi’s stare. The other girl’s eyes were half-lidded, and this time there was no mistake about the blush on her cheek. This was the prettiest sight Nyamu had ever seen.
“I… Mortis and I don’t know if we can talk about love yet, but we both like you too.”
“We just created this world, didn’t we? It will take time to shape it our way, but it belongs to us and it’s beyond everything I expected,” Nyamu whispered before she leaned back to capture the other girl’s lips. They fell into another of their rehearsal, taking up to a happy dance, this time celebrating the dawn of a brand new universe. Theirs. Instead of a two-girls waltz, this felt like twirling with two partners — Mutsumi’s kisses were gentle, unsure, while Mortis’s were playful, a bit more confident. Nyamu could feel the shift in the system, and it was overwhelming .
But there were no regrets. She only looked forward to discovering more of both Mutsumi and Mortis.
A gasp behind them suddenly broke the magic and jolted them out of their world. Nyamu was ready to scold Umiri, only to notice Uika, with both hands covering her mouth.
“Misumi-san, couldn’t you stay quiet?” Umiri was leaning against a wall, shooting an unhappy glance toward Uika. How long did she stand here?!
“S-Sorry Nyamu-chan, Mutsumi-chan! I didn’t mean to interrupt, Saki-chan asked me to check where you all stayed since Umiri-chan didn’t come back but I didn’t expect…”
“Don’t worry, Uiko. It’s not your fault if Umiko is a voyeur on top of being a masochist.”
“I was merely supporting my friends by cheering in silence. I’m genuinely moved.” Umiri mock wiped tears from the corner of her azure eyes, grinning.
“We are so happy for you two!” Uika added with a smile, clasping her hands together. “I’m sure Saki-chan will be too!”
How innocent. Although she wasn’t sure ‘innocent’ would be the best word to describe Uika, considering her lyrics.
“Please tell Saki we are coming,” Mutsumi spoke up. She moved away from Nyamu, who immediately missed her warmth.
Uika gave them another smile before she made her way back to the resting area. Umiri gave them a thumbs-up as she walked away, and Nyamu felt the urge to wipe that stupid smirk off this girl’s face.
She turned back to Mutsumi and Mortis, who already extended a hand toward her. Nyamu didn’t hesitate to take it and intertwine their fingers together. She had said she wouldn’t lose to this girl, and right now, it was like she truly won.
“I… had a dream.” Nyamu started as she met her… Girlfriend? It was safe to say that they were dating now, right? As she met her girlfriend’s eyes.
“Even if I love you, and love you again…” Mortis continued with a smile, waiting for Nyamu to finish the sentence.
Nyamu smiled back. Her world was no longer full of envy and hatred— instead, her heart was filled with warmth and love. “... I can’t love you enough.”
“I’m loved.” They both added together.