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Hakuryuu was dribbling across the pitch. The hour was late, far too late for training. The sun had already set, and only the dim city lights allowed him to see the ball in front of him. He didn’t care. He kept running, and, once in front of the goal, took a shot. It missed. Again. Hakuryuu grumbled and went to pick up the ball and try again. All his attempts ended in failure.
His match against Shinsei Inazuma Japan was due in two days. Coach Fudou had gathered the strongest players from the Holy Road and tasked them to crush the new national team. Hakuryuu didn’t really understand the intentions behind this scheme, but he didn’t exactly care either. The bitterness of not having been chosen as representative instead of this bunch of amateurs still lingered on the tip of his tongue, so he was glad to get the chance to teach them a lesson.
And he wasn’t the only one who wanted to get a shot at it.
Hakuryuu sighed, eventually giving up on trying to score. He walked to the bench and picked up his phone. No notification. He opened one conversation in particular. The other was online, but their last messages went back to two days ago. Hakuryuu read them yet again.
< sunshineforce: heyyyy ive heard u joined up with a new team
sunshineforce: can i come over to train with u guys? pleaaaase
shiningdragon: how do you know that?
shiningdragon: also arent you in the hospital rn? shouldnt you rest?
sunshineforce: nah dw im fine
sunshineforce: also Yukimura told me, but he said i should ask u since ur captain
sunshineforce: so can i come???
sunshineforce: pleaaaaase please please please Ryuuuuuu
shiningdragon: sure ig
shiningdragon: come to Kaiou this afternoon, were using their pitch
sunshineforce: thank uuuuu
sunshineforce: ur the best Ryuu <333 >
The heart emoji should not make his own jump every time he looked at it, yet here he was, staring at a message with a mix of desire and regret. Hakuryuu thought he’d have learned his lesson by now, but no, he was still the same fool as ever when it came to feelings. And it didn’t look like this time would go any different than the others.
Irritated at his own behavior, he thrust his phone back into his pocket and started walking back home. But now that training was no longer there to keep his mind focused on something else, his thoughts inevitably wandered back to his troubled heart, and to the memory of past experiences he thought he’d finally gotten over by now. While Hakuryuu wasn’t superstitious, he definitely had some bad karma going on regarding love stories.
His first love had been Kyouka, who hadn’t come out at the time. As hard as it was for someone as prideful as him to admit, he’d fallen for the cold yet protective forward at first sight. But Kyouka only cared about saving her brother, and she’d kept looking at Hakuryuu like he was some kind of nuisance pestering her. And then she’d left God Eden without even a second glance.
Still, when she’d come back, she had admitted that his presence had made her time at the island more bearable. Yet Hakuryuu had known it was too late to build anything more than friendship. She’d chosen to come out to Tenma first despite having realized her transidentity at God Eden, and one only needed one glance at Kyouka and that naive idiot to understand what was going on between them.
Hakuryuu wasn’t interested in girls anyway, so he was fine with his relationship with Kyouka having turned platonic ━ it didn’t make it any less strong. However, the memory of heartbreak stinged nonetheless.
And then, there had been… Shuu. Of all the boys he could fall in love with, of course he’d had to pick the one who didn’t even belong to the world of the living. Shuu’s presence was warm, comforting and cheerful. But it couldn’t last. Eventually, Hakuryuu would have to leave, go on with life. Shuu could not.
At first, Hakuryuu had considered staying on God Eden with him. Of course, Shuu, ever the kind soul, had opposed the idea despite his own loneliness; he rejected Hakuryuu’s love so that he wouldn’t waste his life with someone who was stuck on an empty island and couldn’t grow up. And Hakuryuu had had no other choice but to comply, leaving the place after their match against Raimon.
Thinking back on it, his desperation made Hakuryuu feel ridiculous. Yet he couldn’t ignore the scars it had left on his confidence, despite him hiding it like his life depended on it, refusing to let a single crack on his facade ever show to anyone, not even Kyouka ━ especially not Kyouka. And now… well, things didn’t look much better, because of one specific sunshine boy.
Taiyou. Amemiya Taiyou.
At first, Hakuryuu thought things would be different. He’d started hoping again, when he’d joined the Inazuma TM caravan with the Arakumo ace striker. They’d both been struggling to keep up with the rest of Raimon, Taiyou out of fear of his old sickness, Hakuryuu because he’d been scared of letting his own power blind him again. But they’d overcome those hardships together, by getting a shared mixi-max.
From then, things had become easier. Despite being on the same team as Tenma, whom he called his platonic soulmate, Taiyou had been seeking Hakuryuu’s company at every opportunity. He’d shown interest in getting to know him better, and by the end of the journey one could rarely be found without the other. Hakuryuu had started hoping that, for once, maybe, his feelings could be mutual.
But of course, it had proved too good to be true.
Hakuryuu’s phone started ringing. He took it out, and felt his heart speed up when he saw the name displayed on screen. He picked up and asked, “Taiyou? Why are you calling me?” His tone sounded harsher than he wanted it to be. It was a recurrent side effect of him constantly trying to hide his true emotions. He knew most people found it annoying, but he couldn’t help it; it was almost a natural instinct at this point.
His question was only met with silence. After a few seconds, Hakuryuu heard a small ‘bip’. Taiyou had hung out. Hakuryuu had to refrain from throwing his phone on the ground. He wasn’t mad at Taiyou, he was mad at himself; of course his stupid, prideful attitude had to ruin the first chance he’d gotten to make up with the boy he loved in days.
Two days ago, as promised, Taiyou had shown up during Resistance Japan’s practice. Coach Fudou hadn’t arrived yet, and, at first, things had gone smoothly. Taiyou had trained with the team, and even managed to score a few goals, his expression so radiant Hakuryuu couldn’t take his eyes off of him.
But then, coach Fudou had shown up, and things had gone south from here.
“Amemiya! What are you doing here?”
Taiyou started and turned to Fudou, his expression nervous for some reason, which made Hakuryuu wary. Yukimura, oblivious to those signs, explained, “He’s just here to practice with us, coach. It’s not a problem, is it?”
“Oh, you bet it is,” the coach retorted. “Amemiya, we already talked about this. You can’t join the team. You should be resting at the hospital!”
Hospital? But Taiyou’d been cured from his illness… It wasn’t a problem anymore… Was it? “Oh, I’m fine!” the sunny boy argued. “The doctors are making a fuss for nothing!”
“Oh, because you think you, a kid, know better than professionals? Amemiya, I know you risk a relapse if you don’t rest. A big, bad relapse. That’s why I didn’t call you over to join the team, and I won’t go back on that decision. Now please go back to the hospital before I call Fuyuka to drag you there herself!”
Taiyou was forced to comply. Or, at least, he pretended to. A few hours later, when practice ended, Hakuryuu decided to go by the riverside to get some extra training. And that’s where he found Taiyou, instead of his hospital room. Remembering Fudou’s words, Resistance Japan’s captain felt his blood start boiling. “Taiyou!”
“Oh, Hakuryuu!” Taiyou exclaimed, oblivious to the other’s anger. “Wanna get some training with me?”
Hakuryuu closed the distance between them and grabbed the other by the collar. “Why didn’t you go back to the hospital?!”
Taiyou’s expression immediately darkened. While he and Hakuryuu did argue from time to time, the latter had never seen his crush look so mad before. He let go of him out of surprise, and Taiyou responded in a low, deep voice, “I told you it’s nothing.” Then, getting back to his usual cheerful expression, he added, “So? Wanna see who can make the strongest shot? Or maybe practice with our mixi max? It’s been a while since-”
“Taiyou!” Hakuryuu cut him off. “You’re not training one more second. Actually, I’m bringing you back to the hospital.”
“What? No! They’re just gonna force me to stay in bed for weeks!”
“Well, maybe that’s because you need it?!”
Taiyou’s lips trembled for a moment. That’s when Hakuryuu realized his mistake. During one of their time travels, Taiyou had confided in him about the years he’d spent in the hospital. It had been boring, but, most of all, lonely; he barely had any friends, and his parents were too busy with work to visit. That was why the sunny boy could seem a bit clingy at times ━ the fear of ending up alone again always lingered in the corner of his mind.
Hakuryuu knew of Taiyou’s strong fear of loneliness, and yet he’d still implied that staying alone and miserable in bed was for his own well-being. Of course, that wasn’t how he’d meant it; but he knew from Taiyou’s expression that was how he’d understood it. “Listen, what I-” he tried in a calmer tone.
“Why do you care anyway?”
Taiyou’s voice had gone cold, freezing even, as if the rays of sunshine he always radiated had extinguished. It left Hakuryuu speechless. He wanted to tell Taiyou he was just scared for him, that he cared about him too much to risk any harm coming to him. He wanted to let Taiyou know how much he loved him, and that his anger came from protectiveness, not annoyance.
The words wouldn’t come out, however. Instead, it was Taiyou who continued, “Fine, I’ll go back to my room, and wait alone while you guys have fun. Apparently that’s where I belong anyway, so I’ll stop bothering you.”
And as he left, all Hakuryuu could do was stand still, too stunned to make a move.
Hakuryuu hadn’t visited Taiyou ever since. He hated himself for it. After all, by staying far away from him, wasn’t he just proving that he, in fact, didn’t care? But no, he did care; far too much, in fact. He cared so much that hearing Taiyou say the contrary shook him to the core, leaving him restless at night. He didn’t want his crush to see him so pathetic. Taiyou probably didn’t want to see him at all anyway. Hakuryuu had grown used to his feelings never being mutual after all.
His phone vibrated again. Hakuryuu’s heart jumped, but it wasn’t Taiyou this time; it was a message from Tenma. The two of them were on goods terms now, friends even ━ well, maybe they wouldn’t be so much after Hakuryuu beat his team out. Being both close to Taiyou and Kyouka, they were bound to spend quite some time together, and Hakuryuu had to admit he’d grown fond of this bundle of joy and enthusiasm. Still, he wondered why he was texting him so late.
< pegasustenma: hi!!! sorry to bother u, do u have a minute?
shiningdragon: sure, what is it?
pegasustenma: well its about Taiyou
pegasustenma: i visited him this afternoon but he looked rly sad :(
pegasustenma: when i tried asking he said things were fine, but i know he was lying bc he doesnt want me to worry…
pegasustenma: Yuuichi doesnt know anything either, so i was wondering if u did? >
Hakuryuu paused for a moment. So their argument had also been bothering Taiyou… Ugh, great, now he felt even more guilty. Although, maybe he should take this opportunity to stop being a stuck-up stubborn idiot… Wow, was he really so down bad for Taiyou he’d go as far as to ask Tenma of all people for advice? Well, the boy had managed to find a spot in Kyouka’s heart, which was a feat Hakuryuu himself had failed at, so it was worth a try.
< shiningdragon: we argued a few days ago
shiningdragon: i tried to convince him to rest and
shiningdragon: well
shiningdragon: lets say i couldve worded it better
pegasustenma: oh i see :(((
pegasustenma: im guessing u didnt talk afterwards?
shiningdragon: we didnt
shiningdragon: he thinks i dont care
pegasustenma: ofc u care!!! why would u try to convince him to look after himself otherwise???
shiningdragon: idk, you tell me
pegasustenma: well in any case, u should go see him
pegasustenma: i think he wont cheer up until u two make up
pegasustenma: and pls dont get mad at him!!! im sure he didnt mean what he said
shiningdragon: im not mad
shiningdragon: well, not at him
pegasustenma: dont be mad at u either then :)
pegasustenma: u obvs care a lot, and sometimes we mess up when we care, it just happens ^^”
shiningdragon: no shit, just look at Kyouka
pegasustenma: thats… very accurate
pegasustenma: anyway, can u pls let me know once u visited him?
shiningdragon: sure
shiningdragon: also
shiningdragon: thanks
shiningdragon: i mean it
pegasustenma: np!!!! >
Hakuryuu remembered Taiyou’s call a few minutes ago. It didn’t matter whether his feelings were mutual or not; Tenma was right: they wouldn’t rest easy until they’d apologized and made up. His pride be damned, he couldn’t let his crush down again. He looked at the time. 8:10pm. Visiting hours were long over at this point… wait, since when did he care about rules?
Hakuryuu headed to the hospital, and, once there, snuck into the building, making sure to avoid the nurses on duty. He climbed the stairs to the second floor and walked along the corridors at a fast pace. The more he was getting closer to Taiyou, the more he felt the urge to just see the boy, no matter what had transpired between them.
He arrived at his door and knocked. He received no reply. Well, it wasn’t an invitation, but it wasn’t a refusal either. Hakuryuu entered. Despite the late hour, the lights were off, leaving only the dim moonlight to allow him to see. And, sure enough, he found Taiyou’s figure sitting on the bed, silent. “Hey… can I… stay for a minute?” Hakuryuu asked, uncertain. There was, once again, no response from the other boy.
Then Hakuryuu heard a sob.
He didn’t think twice. He rushed to Taiyou’s side, worried, “Taiyou, what’s wrong? Do you feel sick? Should I call someone?”
“No!” Taiyou immediately shouted. “It’s… it’s not my sickness. It’s…” The rest of his words were swallowed by his sobbing. So, instead of trying to speak, he thrust himself in Hakuryuu’s arms, his tears wetting the other’s shirt. Not that Hakuryuu minded; he responded to the embrace, hugging Taiyou tight to comfort him.
“I’m sorry… I should’ve come sooner…” Hakuryuu whispered once Taiyou’s tears calmed down.
“No, I’m the one who should apologize,” Taiyou retorted. “I told you something horrible, you had every right to be mad at me…”
“I wasn’t mad. Just…” Hakuryuu swallowed. It was hard getting the words out for once, but Taiyou was worth the effort. “Just worried.”
The other boy remained silent for a while. They didn’t move an inch, and it didn’t seem like any of them wanted to. They both found solace in each other’s embrace, taking in the presence which had been missing for far too long. Eventually, Taiyou replied, his voice so low Hakuryuu could barely hear him, “I’m scared too.”
Of course he was. How could he not be? His sickness was supposed to be long gone, and now it was preventing him from playing football yet again… That’s when Hakuryuu realized something: he and Taiyou were just the same ━ always hiding their insecurities behind a facade. Only Hakuryuu’s was made of pride, and Taiyou’s of smiles as warm as gentle sun rays.
But sometimes, the facade showed cracks. They were only humans, after all ━ mere teenagers, in fact. And, seeing Taiyou so desperate for comfort, Hakuryuu came to the conclusion that maybe it was okay to let it fall apart from time to time. “If you wanna talk about it… I can listen.”
“I just…” Taiyou hesitated, head still resting against Hakuryuu’s shoulder, “Ever since I played in the Holy Road, I made a lot of friends. But if I have to stay in the hospital all the time, I’m scared of everyone just… forgetting about me. I don’t wanna be alone again…”
“No one’s gonna forget about you,” Hakuryuu assured him, his tone showing a rare genuineness. “You really think Tenma would ever let you down? And I’m sticking around too. Don’t think you can get rid of me that easily.”
“But… you have your team with coach Fudou… Aren’t you gonna get bored of having to go to the hospital just to see me?”
The cracks were now fully visible, and Hakuryuu realized how deep they were. Oh, Taiyou… he was really going to make him say it, wasn’t he? “I’d never get bored of spending time with you, you sunny moron.”
Taiyou chuckled at the nickname. Then, he moved away a bit so he could lock eyes with the other boy. Hakuryuu immediately missed the warmth against his body, but the smile he saw on his crush’s face made up for it. “Thanks. Sorry I said you didn’t care last time.”
“And sorry I was so tactless,” Hakuryuu shot back.
“Then it’s all forgiven?”
Hakuryuu nodded. Taiyou finally seemed to have cheered up a bit, and so had he. He couldn’t stand being on bad terms with his crush. Now things would get back to normal, to their usual bond and occasional bickering. Friendly bond and bickering… well, it wasn’t like he could ask for more, so Hakuryuu was more than content with that ━ right?
“Ryuu? What’s wrong?”
Ugh, of course Taiyou had to notice… “Nothing,” Hakuryuu tried to deny.
However, Taiyou wasn’t so easily fooled. “I can see something’s still bothering you. I can listen too, you know.”
Once again, the image of the facade came to Hakuryuu’s mind. His own, despite its cracks, was still up, for now. What would happen if he let it fall apart? Would it cause another heartbreak, or could he hope once more that, this time, fortune would be on his side?
“...There’s someone I like.”
“Go on,” Taiyou invited him, his expression suddenly unreadable.
“But it’s unrequited. Just like the other times… Well, I kinda get why. I guess I just act too much like a scornful jerk for anyone to see me that way. That, or I just have terrible luck…”
“You’re not a jerk, you’re an idiot.”
“Wha-”
Hakuryuu’s answer was cut short by lips crashing against his. Taiyou’s lips, to be precise. Their kiss was messy, both boys having no experience in the matter. Still, once Hakuryuu recovered from his initial surprise, he responded to the other’s affection as best as he could. It was filled with warmth, a warmth they both craved after putting on an act for so long.
They parted after a few seconds, and Taiyou asked, “How in the world did you ever think it was unrequited?”
Well, now that he mentioned it… They’d spent so much time together lately, and Taiyou always seemed to be the one seeking the other’s company, Hakuryuu not wanting to look like a kid starving for attention. “I guess I just… assumed,” he eventually admitted.
“Well, you assumed wrong, because I like you too,” Taiyou declared.
True to his name, he’d always shone like the sun. Hakuryuu was supposed to represent the light, but, when he first saw his love’s radiant expression, he’d felt like the mere flickering of a candle in comparison. This time however, Taiyou was sharing his shining aura with him, allowing them both to stand in the light, away from the cracks they’d left behind.
“Hey, Ryuu?”
“What is it?”
“Wanna be my boyfriend?”
Hakuryuu chuckled. “Of course I do, sunny moron.”
“Are you gonna keep calling me that?”
“Sure am, sunny moron.”
This time, they laughed together, their cheerfulness chasing away the fear of loneliness and the bitterness of unrequited love.
That’s when they heard the door open, reminding them that visiting hours were long over. Fuyuka glared at Hakuryuu, who understood that he’d better be out of here within the next ten seconds if he wanted to stay in one piece. Still, he took the time to tell his new boyfriend, “Bye Taiyou. I’ll come back tomorrow after practice.”
“You better! See you tomorrow Ryuu! Oh, wait!” Right before Hakuryuu left, Taiyou got up and planted a chaste kiss on the other’s lips, ignoring the presence of Fuyuka who was still waiting for the intruder to get out. “I’ll get better, and then we’ll be able to play together again,” he promised.
Despite his embarrassment, Hakuryuu offered him a smile before leaving. He knew Taiyou would recover soon enough ━ he’d always fought hard against his sickness, after all. In the meantime, he’d keep visiting his boyfriend, making sure he was properly taking care of himself.
As he walked away from the hospital, Hakuryuu felt his phone vibrate in his pocket yet again.
< sunshineforce: see u tomorrow!!!!
sunshineforce: love u Ryuu <3333
shiningdragon: see you sunny moron
sunshineforce: …
sunshineforce: Ryuuuuuuu
shiningdragon: …and love you too >
Remembering his conversation with Tenma, Hakuryuu then messaged him to let him know Taiyou was doing better, and that they’d finally made up ━ not that they’d made out, though; Tenma didn’t need to know about that yet. Knowing Taiyou, he’d learn about it soon enough anyway. Not that Hakuryuu really minded.
In any case, it seemed he’d been right to keep hoping for a love returned, this time.