Chapter Text
Inside a made-up mind
Hear my cries, heed my deeds, and especially, remember me as a legend that never really existed, the character portrayed as the example of courage and wisdom in children’s books. But please, I beg on my knees for you to never think of me as anything more than the incarnation of power and mildness I worked so hard to represent, as the dried and exhausted limbs hidden beneath that great sea of smooth silk, pearls and skin is only worth the meanest indifference and the least of attention.
Part one: The Light Fades, the Story Ends
“No, but, listen to my point just for a moment-”
“I’ve been listening this whole time and yet nothing you’ve said has helped us.”
“As you said earlier, every boat is monitored closely, even more since you came back, but remember that I’m the one who gave the alarm in the first place. If I’m seen going on a one-way boat to Snezhnaya, no one will bat an eye, and if doubts there are, no one will dare say them. I can pretend that there’s been an urgency which forces me to go back home, and take you all there with me. Besides, you literally flew right under my nose when you left two months ago, so what makes you believe that you won’t be able to do it with my help? In my opinion, there shouldn’t even be a question as to which transportation system we should use since taking a boat is the quickest way.”
To emphasize his conclusion, Childe leaned back in his chair and sighed loudly, gaze wandering around the table looking immensely bored and still fully unaware that the debate was not close yet.
Albedo was the quickest to reply.
“If we take it literally, then of course, taking a ship to Snezhnaya is our best option, as it would keep us hidden until the very end and lessen the probability that the Fatui find out about your betrayal…”
Uranus, who had until then only paid half attention to the conversation, looked up and turned her head left where Albedo was seated. His choice of word wasn’t trivial, it was undeniable that Childe had had to betray the Fatui’s trust in order to join their group, and he had made sure that, although this had been their terms of the contract, it was his choice as well. However, it was the first time it was addressed as such.
A betrayal. The Fatui were known mainly for their undying loyalty toward the Tsarista. If Childe had betrayed her so easily, then to what extent were they sure that he wouldn’t repeat this act with them?
“But is doing that really possible?” Albedo continued. “Look-” he put his finger where Liyue Harbor was located on the map of Teyvat stretched out in the table around which the five of them were seated. “-there are few boats going from Liyue to Snezhnaya at this period of the year, and even fewer that make no stop in Dornman Port. I believe you already know how dangerous it would be for us to be seen in Mondstadt of all places, and even though you can argue that we could easily stay hidden in the Sereniteapot, it would be as dangerous for you to be seen there as well considering the complicated relationship between our two nations. Furthermore-”
Seeing that Childe was about to interrupt Albedo again, and that this conversation was leading them close to nowhere anyway, Uranus quietly rose from her chair and left the room, closing the entrance door behind her with as little noise as possible. No one made remarks about her sudden leaving, they were all too focused on the current debate about which route would be best to take to go to Snezhnaya.
She had a dozen of arguments to counter Childe, but she was honestly too tired to justify herself any more. It was crazy how much problems one man who pretended his only wish was to help them could produce, from his points he couldn’t back up to the sheer amount of noise he made when trying to prove them wrong, and yet she couldn’t bring herself to think that he was working against them. If anything, he was overconfident in his capacities and tried too hard to act as their savior.
Anyway, they had been at it for almost an hour now, and the countless lines representing potential routes to take drawn on the map were a proof that they couldn’t reach a common agreement, for their opinions regarding the matter at hand were simply too different.
She went down the few steps outside the door of the Liyueen mansion and walked until she reached the end of the portion of land that kept them from falling into an endless pit of high mountains and trees. They couldn’t fall here anyway, an invisible adeptal force was keeping them from getting too close to the edge, further enhancing the infallible security inside the Sereniteapot. Safety rules at their finest.
She gazed at the deep blue night sky, not so different from the one in Teyvat and yet sharing no similarities with it. Its color, for one thing, was unlike anything Uranus had seen before, a peculiar shade of blue she was sure even an artist as skilled as Albedo would struggle to reproduce. The stars left fading shadows of themselves in their wake as they progressed through the sky and through the night, creating thin white circles that seemed to be following each other. This had been recently made, Uranus remembered the stars being normal the last time she’d used the teapot. Who had asked it, she didn’t know, but she suspected Sucrose to be behind this idea, it was much like her to create stars like that.
Judging from where the moon – gray and shining, the only thing that was similar to Teyvat – was hanging from the sky, it was close to eleven, five hours before the time they had agreed to leave at. Yet none of them was ready; although the house – now twice its old size – had been magnified so that they could all comfortably live in it, their few belongings where still inside the attic of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, except for Childe’s which where somewhere within the quarters he owned as a Fatui Harbinger.
He wouldn’t have gotten them back anyway, they didn’t trust him enough to leave without revealing everything to his fellow Fatui.
Uranus must have been outside for about five minutes when she heard Zhongli’s footsteps on the grass behind her. Maybe her leaving had triggered a drop in interest and everyone had begun to lose focus too. It wouldn’t surprise her, their group simply couldn’t work with Childe alongside them. Everytime one of them had had an interesting idea, he’d always found a way to prove how and why it wouldn’t work, forcing them to raise their voices so that they could be heard too. It was truly tiering, and Uranus had wondered more than once over the past hour why they had agreed to let him participate in the first place.
“Giving up already? I thought you would last longer than that,” Zhongli teased as he stopped beside her. She felt his gaze on her for a short instant then he looked at the newly-modelled sky like she was doing. She could have told him that, since he was here, he’d given up as well, but kept that to herself.
“I didn’t know a man could be this insufferable,” she spat instead. “It looks like all he’s here for is to prevent us from reaching a conclusion or even setting a proper goal. All he’s done for now is to bring us trouble, he even almost got us arguing earlier!” Now that she was outside of the house, she could freely let her emotions speak for herself, and she didn’t want to hold back for once.
“A very surprising feat indeed. But I think you may be acting in bad faith, still. Not all of what he said was irrelevant, he just sees his ideas with the eyes of the rich and powerful Harbinger that he is, which is understandable.” Zhongli, although as exasperated as her, was being more lenient toward Childe, maybe because he couldn’t bear this level of hostility in a group.
“And I have no problem with that, only that he refuses to hear anything but approval to his ideas. If he could just be a little more open-minded, he would save us lots of troubles.” It was quite unlike her to complain like that, and she saw from the corner of her eye that Zhongli was struggling not to laugh at her reaction. She suddenly remembered people arguing over which one was the calmest between them back in the days, and only one who truly knew them knew that Zhongli was the incarnation of tranquility.
“I understand how you feel, and I know how hard it is to include him this far in your journey.” Zhongli cleared his throat, making his voice stronger. “Although I dislike him as much as you do, I would like if you – along with Albedo and Sucrose, of course – and him could have some sort of… truce, for lack of a better word. I know he’s doing very little efforts of his own, but please give him some time. He has had to betray the Fatui to join us while still acting as if he’s still doing work for them in Liyue. He’s had to find a way to prevent them from finding out the truth, and hiding something from an Archon is nigh impossible. Such a dangerous task must be putting a lot of pressure on him, and he’s only human. We were talking about the best itinerary to take to go to Snezhnaya, but if we keep going on like that; your group on one side, Childe on the other, and me to act as a mediator between the two, we will physically never reach the northmost region of Teyvat.”
Uranus crossed her arms, still looking at the endless rows of faraway mountains in front of them. Were any of them even real? Could they forge a path to go to them, or were they just a part of the decor made to embellish the teapot?
She guessed they were just fake images for now, only here to trick her mind into thinking that this pocket world knew no bounds, but if she wanted to she could surely made them take shape too.
“I’ll try to make efforts, but they won’t bear any fruits if he doesn’t cooperate too,” she finally said. “By the way, how’s the situation inside? Have you reached a conclusion?” She asked, eager to talk about something useful.
“As you can guess, even after much deliberating we are still back at square one. Things only went downhill after you left, Albedo seemed about to jump at Childe’s throat when he kept interrupting him, Sucrose could barely say anything in all the noise and I don’t think she felt comfortable enough to speak, and I was already planning my escape. When I left, no one was at the table anymore and everyone was minding their own business,” Zhongli summarized, voice flat.
Uranus was about to add something, but when she saw him close his eyes, half-defeated, she thought better of it. He’d also had a lot to deal with since Childe had reminded everyone of the Fatui’s existence, now three days ago. Days that had felt like months to them, with all the events that had too-rapidly taken place.
Right know what they needed was rest, but they wouldn’t get any until they left.
Should we postpone our departure? She thought. I’m the one who insisted on leaving as soon as possible, so the decision is on me. We’re clearly not ready to go, but the longer we stay here, the bigger the risk. Wouldn’t it be better to hide elsewhere for the time being?
“You look uneasy,” he pointed out.
“Not uneasy, just unsure,” she answered. “I need your opinion on something. Do you think-”
She was about to word her thoughts but when she turned her head toward him and saw his expression her voice died in her throat. His silence hadn’t been one of fatigue but one of preparation, and from the way his lips were pursed and the look on his eyes slightly uncertain, she easily guessed what it was he really wanted to talk about.
“So it’s about that?” She said after some time. Her muscles tensed, her eyes tried to avoid his and there was a sudden, bitter, aftertaste in the back of her mouth. She knew she sounded nervous, and she was. She was every time the subject was brought up.
“Yes. I’m sorry I have to remind you of it, but I just want to know… it’s not about it, is it?” By ‘it’, Zhongli meant erosion.
Uranus would have never thought this would become something hard to talk about had she not experienced it herself. Save from the few dark centuries that had passed since the cataclysm, she and Zhongli had always talked freely about anything, no matter how serious or personal. She had had no problem telling him that she intended to fight the Heavenly Principles at the likely cost of her own life, but somehow, the matter of erosion seemed to cross a line, an invisible boundary that she saw as an unspoken rule or taboo.
Erosion acted upon their mind, their very consciousness and free will, and she found herself feeling ashamed as soon as it interrupted the flow of their conversations, as if she were responsible for her impending memory loss and uncontrollable delirium.
She took a sharp breath before answering, refusing to let the emotions Celestia forced onto her take control of her. Maybe she just needed to adapt to the knowledge that her precious memories would soon be taken from her. Maybe all she had to do was to see it as another factor to take into account when they would leave tomorrow morning, one more reminder that their time wasn’t unlimited, that they had to hurry before it was too late.
“Everything’s good, I still have my full memory,” she said, trying to sound as natural as possible. Every morning she tried to recall the first moments of her life, recreate in her mind the grandeur and power she’d felt as she stood atop of the Dainichi Mikoshi, the burning artificial sun harmlessly spinning behind her and her people shielding themselves from the blinding light all the way down.
She’d thought about writing about that. Putting everything, all of her treasured, early memories down on paper, filling volumes and volumes of them until the ink died from her pen. She could even ask Albedo to paint them for her, giving shape to her thought in the form of a tapestry large enough to cover the surface they were walking on.
But never would it be big enough to fill the emptiness inside her once she forgets about it all. Clinging to a feeble hope would only reward her with despair and deception once she understood her own trickery. Trying was useless, all she had to do was to make sure to reach Celestia before forgetting why she was here in the first place.
“What about you?” She added, and immediately regretted upon seeing on his face that the answer was not the one she would have wanted.
“I don’t remember how I was brought into this world,” he answered truthfully, his voice but a whisper. Birth was a memory so similar to everyone that they all took it for granted, but as an Adeptus turned into an Archon, his must have been special. However, never had they talked about it before, and Uranus doubted he’d ever told it to anyone. Now his birth was a mystery, something even he didn’t know.
In all his six thousand years of live, it was probably the first time that he forgot anything.
That was the fate that awaited them both, them all. The lifespan of a human was too short for them to experience the full extent of erosion, but they were affected by it too. It was something engraved in Teyvat’s very roots, something that had been turned into a profitable power by Celestia to better control the Gods of this world.
“We’re late,” Uranus said. Her voice sounded hollow, but not despaired. She’d made up her mind. They had been using the wrong approach, finding the right path from the start was impossible, but she had a better idea. One that would allow them to leave before sunrise.
“Let’s go back, I want to be done by two. Then we’ll separate into groups, some of us will stay here and rest while the others go back to the attic to make sure we’re not leaving anything behind. As soon as the clock hits four, you will leave Liyue harbor disguised with the teapot and we’ll be on our way to Snezhnaya.” She told Zhongli.
Walking back to the house, she tried to think of a way to connect both ends of the bridge, both parts of the group. If she could do this, then they would reach their goal in no time and with minimal losses.
The route, the itinerary, was only the first part of the plan, and she couldn’t bear getting stuck on it. She wasn’t rushing anything, they were just too slow, and she knew she had to make the first move to start the machine. She was the trigger, the one who had started this all, the one everything had come from. It was her ambition, an unreachable idea that had become her purpose, and they had all agreed to follow her.
She realized she had become, over the past few months, their unspoken leader. This change had happened naturally, and no one, not even Zhongli, who was to her a mentor as well as a friend, had questioned it. She wasn’t surprised in the least, such a skill was firmly ingrained in her being, flowing in her veins like blood and deeply rooted inside her mind. Assuming it was not a fear, even less a challenge, as it was for her merely what she had to do, what she had always been meant to do.
With this in mind, she opened the double door, aware that Zhongli had been walking wordlessly behind her this whole time. Everyone had now dispatched around the room, and as she cleared her throat to gain their attention, every head turned to her despite the quiet sound.
“I hope you’re not tired yet because the night ahead will be long.” She said as she walked to the table, pulling the same chair she’d been occupying before leaving. “We’ve been doing everything wrong and have to start again, so no one’s leaving this room until we decide on a plan. And before any pointless argument begins, I’d like to remind everyone that this is a race against time and that our enemies are more numerous and better organized than us, and are scattered all around Teyvat, so it’s time we consider putting our different aside and start cooperating.” Isn’t that right, Childe? She thought as she looked at him, making him unable to deny that he had been the sole target of this message.
Somewhere in the living room, the clock rung twelve times. By the time the echo had completely faded, they were all sitting at the table, the map of Teyvat still laid out before them. Out of the five faces, four were turned toward Uranus, as if waiting for her to mark the beginning of this second attempt at planning their departure.
So that was it then. The great start of her last adventure in Teyvat. Something she’d always pictured doing alone, but if she was to be with other people, then so be it. They were already all a part of her story, so why not stick together until the end and see what happens?