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“You’re not him,” Rude hisses. He slams the door to his chambers ignoring the demon that lounges on a nearby desk.
“Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Buck-o.” The demon's mouth wrenches into a toothy smile and Rude tosses a book at the demon; one wing closes around him and the book bounces off. The demon laughs.”Come on, Rudey Baby, don’t be like this.”
“Don’t call me that!” Rude pants angrily. Only he called him that.
Rude collapses at the side of his bed, pulling the prayer beads from his belt, and clasping his hands together. “Hail Odin, All-Father and Master of Wisdom grant me your blessings in all things that you embody.“ Clawed feet hit the floor, a tail drags lazily closer, and sharp talon-like claws scratch softly at his shaved head. “Bless me with the gift of strength and courage,
that I may face any challenge that comes my way with bravery and resilience.” Rude’s voice breaks, and his eyes grow wet as the demon squats behind him. “Odin, let this vision leave me be.”
“I ain’t no vision, and I'm gettin’ real sick of you calling me Demon and it. Just call me by my name already.”
A hand slithers into the crack of Rude’s robe, the hands are cold, just like his were. He shivers and the demon chuckles, pressing his chest into Rude’s back. The smell of Midgar after a lightning storm permeates his nose. Rude grits his teeth and continues to pray.
“Father Odin, we will follow you into battle, we will carry your flags, we will -“
“Your dirty talk needs work. I remember it being much better.” The voice is heated in his ear, its tongue flickers like the tail of a rattlesnake against his lobe. Its dick is hard and knows exactly where to prod. “It’s been so long, Rudey-baby, for you too, right? Don’t you want me to fuck you?”
“We will follow your orders and remain good stewards even as we march to our-“
“Deaths.” The demon finishes. “Rude.” It whines in a familiar cadence. “I already did that.”
Rude’s knuckles tighten around the rosary. A sob escapes his chest, hot tears stream down his face.
“I wish you were him.” He admits quietly. “But you’re not. You’re not real.”
“If I’m not real then why do you feel when I touch you? Com’on, stop fighting me.” It whispers sweetly.
Fingers work the buttons on the temple robe open and Rude buries his face into his hands, He’s so lonely, and he misses him so much.
Rude should have died too that day, Odin knows he tried to follow him, first pills, then slitting his wrists, but he woke up both times in the hospital despite believing his body would never be found. When he tried to put a bullet in his temple the gun jammed, when he tried to jump from a reactor, he woke up in his apartment like it had simply been a bad dream.
“Why?” Rude asks as a hand slips into his temple-assigned small clothes. “Why are you torturing me?”
He has his theory. It’s his punishment, his penance for dropping the plate. To live without the only thing he’d ever had worth living for in the first place.
That’s why he came to this temple. He’d hoped the god of death would take pity on him if he offered his pathetic life to servitude that one day soon, death would come for him too.
Fingers he doesn’t recognize grip him but move in all too familiar strokes. “What are you talking about? I heard you calling for me all those nights. I clawed my way out of hell to answer you.” Kisses draw down his neck across a shoulder. “I thought you’d be happy to see me again, but now you won’t even say my name.”
“You’re not him.” Rude’s whisper somehow sounds like a plea. The hand squeezes up, choking the head of his dick.
“You keep saying that, but I remember everything, my crap parents, my abusive uncle, the day we met, the first time we fucked.”
He pulls the robe up around Rude’s hips.
“You let me top first. It wasn’t your first time. Gods it was so hot. Watching that fat cock nut all on your stomach–untouched–while I rammed it into you.”
Rude throbs in its hand. “This isn’t real.” He whispers. “You’re using my memories against me.”
“I’ll tell you something you don’t remember then.” Its cock pushes down the band of Rude’s boxers. Soft thrusts tickle his knot, making Rude’s need grow harder yet. “I told Tseng the moment I saw you, I was gonna marry you. He thought I was joking,” He laughs fondly. “He’s still around, right? You can ask him if you want.”
Fresh tears roll down Rude’s cheek, and the wedding band on the chain around his neck seems to burn hot. “Stop talking, please. Please! I’ll let you do whatever you want, if you will just stop talking.”
“Then call me by my name.”
A sob breaks from Rude’s chest, even if he isn’t sure it’s him, Rude wants it to be. “R-Reno.”
Reno chuckles, and a sigh of satisfaction escapes him as he pushes in. “Don’t worry, I’ll never leave you again, partner.”
