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*SOLARBALLS (2022): THE BIG BANG - PART 3 (EP109)*
All three giant planets continue staring at their sisters’ remains.
[JUPITER]: (voice cracking) Did I—really do this?
[METIS]: Poor Jupiter. He feels terrible…
[AMALTHEA]: Yeah.
[GANYMEDE]: So it really was an accident. He didn’t—he didn’t do it on purpose.
[EUROPA]: You’re right.
[PLANET X]: (nonchalantly) Yeah you did. And there’s no way the Sun won’t find out.
[JUPITER]: (fearing) The—Sun?
[PLANET X]: (unfazed) Yep, you’re a planet killer, Jupiter. No way back for you now.
Everyone eyeballed the navy blue giant.
[PLANET X]: (flinching) Okay…I know what you’re all thinking and um…you’re really not gonna like how I reacted. B-But I regret all of it now, I-I promise.
[PROTEUS]: (sighing) Is that all or…?
[PLANET X]: Proteus…I —
[PROTEUS]: Let’s just get this over with.
[PLANET X]: (timidly) O-Okay.
[SATURN]: (notices Jupiter’s guilt) Hey! Cut it out, Planet X! You’re not helping!
[PLANET X]: Cut it out? I told you not to do this. I told you, and you two just ignored me and treated me like I was less than you. (righteously) I guess what comes around goes around.
[MIMAS]: Yikes. That was cold even for me.
[PLANET X]: Again…it wasn’t my best hour.
[IAPETUS]: Although technically we are icy terrestrials.
[MIMAS]: Hilarious.
[IAPETUS]: Can’t argue with facts.
[MIMAS]: Whatever you say, Mister Know-It-All.
[JUPITER]: (internally panicking) I…I wasn’t trying to —
[PLANET X]: (cutting him off) Who cares what you were trying to do? You did this!
“She…she’s gone.”
“No…sh-she can’t be!”
“But she is…”
“How?? When?!”
They flinch in shock as soon as they hear the Sun scream before facing him.
[SUN]: (trembling) Wha…what?!
[PLANET X]: (reminding him) Oh, now you’re done for.
[SUN]: (freaking out) My—my planets! W-W-What happened to them?
[PLANET X]: I—can kinda see why Jupiter lied now.
[THEBE]: You do?
[PLANET X]: Yeah. Even back then, the Sun was…scary.
[TRITON]: He can be intimidating.
[LARISSA]: (snorting) That’s an understatement.
[HALIMEDE]: Is Neptune gonna show up again? I wanna see more of him.
[HIPPOCAMP]: Yeah, me too!
[NEREID]: Neptune’s the best.
[LARISSA]: Yeah he is!
[PLANET X]: Hey Sun.
[SUN]: What—what is it?
[PLANET X]: (smug grin) I think you should ask Jupiter about it.
[PROTEUS]: (disapprovingly) You look happy here.
[PLANET X]: (regretfully) I shouldn’t have been. But I was so angry about what Jupiter did that—I couldn’t think straight. It’s not an excuse though, for the way I acted.
[PROTEUS]: Wow…you’re admitting it.
[PLANET X]: I…
[PROTEUS]: What?
[PLANET X]: N-Nothing.
Neptune’s largest non-spherical moon eyed him warily, but decided not to pressure him further.
[SUN]: (confounded) Jupiter? Why are you not in your orbit?
[PLANET X]: (sees Jovian planet’s hesitation, sneering) Come on Jupiter, just say it.
[METIS]: Jupiter looks so scared.
[ELARA]: Anyone would be in his position.
[HYPERION]: And X certainly wasn’t helping.
Erebus squeezed his eyes shut, unable to face his arrogant younger self. He was so ashamed of who he was, and what he had become…until he realized it and left. God, if X could take it back in a heartbeat, he would.
I—I wanna be better. Please let me be better. Please let me make this right.
To his surprise, Jupiter falsely claims that the protoplanets attempted to leave their orbits, but he tried and failed to save them since two collided (half-true) and the others left the Solar System (despite Planet X’s protests).
“Erebus…his name was Erebus. The Fifth Giant known as Planet X! A mysterious planet full of gas and ice…hi Erebus! Erebus…Erebus…but he wasn’t born alone. There were two others—Planet Nine and the Sixth Giant. What were their names again? Oh yeah—Ennea and Somni. They were born together, but two of them drifted away and were long forgotten.”
[GANYMEDE]: Uh…dude? You okay? You sorta spaced out.
[EUROPA]: And the movie paused.
[PLANET X]: Oh…um, sorry. I-I didn’t mean to uh…y-yeah.
[PROTEUS]: (frowning) Well maybe you should focus.
[TRITON]: (eyeing him) Proteus…
[PROTEUS]: What?
[PLANET X]: No, he’s right. I should uh…get it together, you know?
[TRITON]: (turning to Proteus) What’s going on with you?
[PROTEUS]: (shrugging) Nothing.
[NEREID]: You’re being kinda rude, no offense.
Proteus ignored her and leaned back.
Saturn also defends him by convincing the Sun how good of a role model he is. Then Jupiter offers to return to his original spot, but Sol outright refuses.
[SUN]: No! S-Stay there! If you move another inch, we could cause more instability! Th-Th-That’s your new orbit, Jupiter! (turning away) Just—stay in your orbit!
[HYPERION]: No wonder the Sun went bonkers.
[ENCELADUS]: He saw planets dying left and right. It does make sense if you think about it.
[RHEA]: It’s sad how his relationship with Jupiter became worse. Nothing was the same after those two protoplanets died.
[TETHYS]: Yeah.
[LAOMEDEIA]: Even when some of us were still asteroids, the Sun used to yell at Jupiter a lot. It was scary.
[PSAMATHE]: Then he started yelling at all of us, including the dwarf planets and their moons.
[ELARA]: It was horrible, not gonna lie.
[NEREID]: Yikes.
[PLANET X]: (accusingly) You’re disgusting, Jupiter.
[SATURN]: (sternly) That’s enough, X!
[PLANET X]: And you too for defending him. You two are just horrible!
“W-What happened, Luna?”
“Thank you, Earth. You knew this was important to me. It was the first time a moon would play a game with a planet, a-and you just…y-you just…!”
“Hey, sorry. I haven’t really been myself lately since — ”
“Forget it, Earth! Just…! Forget it.”
[TITAN]: (concerned) Luna? Are you okay?
[LUNA]: (flashback disappears) Huh? Oh, uh…yeah, I’m fine.
[TITAN]: You don’t look fine.
[LUNA]: I-It’s nothing.
[TITAN]: If you say so.
[JUPITER]: (desperately) What would you have me do?
[PLANET X]: Confess. Tell the Sun the truth.
[JUPITER]: (scared) He will hate me. We will…I don’t know what he’ll do to me!
“This is an important day for me. Join us, Earth—please.”
“Okay.”
“Come on, Earth! Wait your turn!”
“B-But I — ”
“Shh!”
Luna winced guiltily as the memories either continued or repeated.
“I’m going crazy here, buddy!”
“You know what? I don’t wanna play anymore!”
“Me neither!”
“W-What happened, Luna?”
“Forget it, Earth! Just…! Forget it.”
[LUNA]: I can’t forget it though…
[TITAN]: Luna!
[LUNA]: Huh?
[TITAN]: What’s going on? And don’t say it’s nothing.
[LUNA]: I um…I-I’d rather not talk about it.
[TITAN]: Okay…? Sorry I pushed.
[LUNA]: It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.
[PLANET X]: (unsympathetic) Whatever he does, it’s his right. We all live in his Solar System. So stop acting all sorry and confess! But don’t think for a second you’ll keep this a secret.
“Funny how secrets work…since you forgot your own.”
“Wh-What’s that supposed to mean?”
“What kind of planet forgets his own moons? How shameful…”
“I…no, that’s impossible. I would’ve remembered them if they — ”
“Existed? Pfft! You have no idea, do you?”
“About what??”
“How they lived and died.”
“Will you stop talking in riddles and just tell me?!”
“Your moons are gone—all three of them. And it’s all your fault!”
[PLANET X]: (shaky gasp) I…I had m-m…
“What were their names?”
“Two of them were round and one wasn’t.”
“But who were they?”
“Azubah, Azaria…and Guillermo.”
[PLANET X]: (lips quivering) I…I-I don’t —
[PROTEUS]: (irritated) Hey! Are you gonna keep spacing out or actually watch the movie?
[TRITON]: (scolding him) Proteus—be nice.
The smaller moon glared at X (who flinched under his gaze) and then folded his arms with a childish pout.
[JUPITER]: (exhausted) Please I…I need to think.
[PLANET X]: Oh take your time. (leaving) But if you don’t tell the Sun, then I will do it.
[SATURN]: He’s so unlikeable.
[JUPITER]: And he’s right.
[LUNA]: (changing subject) I shouldn’t have yelled at Earth.
[TITAN]: (brow raised) What d’you mean?
[LUNA]: (remorsefully) He wasn’t having a good time, and well…I sort of ignored that. Well—we all did.
The Moon summarized his recent SolarCards game with the rocky planets, which ended with everyone leaving out of annoyance and blatantly dismissing Earth’s mental health crisis.
[TITAN]: So…what are you gonna do?
[LUNA]: (sighing) I don’t know. I—I really fucked up, Titan. Earth is spiralling again and I just—didn’t care.
[TITAN]: (momentary pause) But you didn’t mean it, right?
[LUNA]: Of course not!
[SATURN]: None of this was your intention.
[JUPITER]: Does it matter, Saturn? Just—just look at the mess I’ve made!
[SATURN]: (logically) Things are always changing in the Solar System. Planets crash with each other all the time!
[IAPETUS]: So Saturn is the one who convinced Jupiter to lie.
[EUROPA]: Goddamn it, Saturn. You just had to step in, didn’t you?
[GANYMEDE]: I mean…are we one to talk? We also kinda lied to the moons during the whole…you know…
[EUROPA]: I…I guess…
[JUPITER]: (asserting) Stop making excuses for me!
[SATURN]: You’re right. I shouldn’t make excuses for you. But I also don’t want to see my best friend get destroyed by the Sun! (agitated) So just stop for a minute and think.
[RHEA]: He has a point though. They need a plan.
[TETHYS]: But how did they do it? How did they manage to convince the Sun twice?
[RHEA]: I’m not sure.
[DIONE]: It really is a miracle.
[ELARA]: You can say that again.
A few days later, Planet X returns and alerts them.
[SATURN]: (scoffing) Can we not do this now?
[PLANET X]: (sarcastically) Oh I’m sorry. Am I inconveniencing you with my guilt-tripping?
[DEIMOS]: You know…Phobos has guilt-tripped me way worse.
[PHOBOS]: Did not!
[DEIMOS]: Did too!
[PHOBOS]: Not!
[DEIMOS]: Too!
[TITAN]: Guys! Will you quit fightin’? The movie keeps pausin’ otherwise!
[PHOBOS & DEIMOS]: Sorry Titan…
[TITAN]: Just—try to relax and watch the film, okay?
[PHOBOS & DEIMOS]: Yes sir!
[JUPITER]: (uncertain) X, I-I need time to think of how I’m gonna explain this to the Sun.
[PLANET X]: (warily) Really? Because it seems like you’re just stalling for time until I move on from this.
[JUPITER]: (persuading) I-I’m not, I promise!
There were visible eyebags under X’s eyes akin to Earth during Luna’s first SolarCards game. However, Neptune’s second-largest moon couldn’t care less. In fact, Proteus was relishing this moment, unaware that he himself was following X’s vengeful footsteps.
[PROTEUS]: (suspiciously) What are you planning?
[PLANET X]: (tentatively) I uh…w-well um…I-I sort of went towards the Inner Solar System and uh…
[PROTEUS]: (persisting) And what?
[PLANET X]: (nervous gulp) I-I…wanted to um…tell the Sun what happened t-to our sisters…
[PROTEUS]: Because…?
[PLANET X]: I wanted—I wanted Jupiter to face the consequences.
[PROTEUS]: (arms folded) See? That wasn’t so hard.
[TRITON]: (disapproving glare) Proteus! Enough, okay? He explained himself a million times over when the previous movie started.
[PLANET X]: Please, don’t…don’t defend me, okay? I-I don’t deserve —
[PROTEUS]: Yeah yeah, we get it. You’re a self-pitying ice giant who’s suddenly spacing out for no reason whatsoever —
[TRITON]: Proteus, stop it! He’s not lookin’ too good and —
[PROTEUS]: I don’t care! Okay? Planet X deserves to suffer!
The ice giant recoiled at his schadenfreude-laced tone.
[TRITON]: So that’s why you’re acting like this. You wanna hurt him ‘cause he hurt you.
[NEREID]: Oh, I get it. So this is revenge.
[PROTEUS]: What? No! I-It’s not revenge! It’s…it’s…
[NEREID]: It’s what?
[PROTEUS]: I…(immediately feeling bad) I did the same thing, didn’t I?
[NEREID]: (bluntly) Yep.
“You just wanted revenge ‘cause you got hurt!”
“I hope it was worth it!”
[PLANET X]: Enough Jupiter, okay? (floating past him) I warned you about this.
[JUPITER]: (exclaiming) Hey! S-Stop! Wait!
He uses his gravity to prevent Planet X from entering the Inner Solar System.
[PROTEUS]: (apologetically) I’m…I’m sorry, X.
At this point, the eyebags lessened, but were still visible.
[PLANET X]: (understanding) It’s okay, Proteus —
[PROTEUS]: (guilt-ridden) No it’s not! I—I wanted you to hurt ‘cause I got hurt, but…I ended up being just as bad.
[PLANET X]: (shaking head) You didn’t injure anybody.
[PROTEUS]: I did—just not physically.
[PLANET X]: I already forgave you the moment you were mad at me.
[PROTEUS]: (embracing him, crying) I-I don’t like fighting with you! I just…I wanted you to learn your lesson, b-but I refused to accept that you already did a-and…!
[PLANET X]: (rubbing his back, soothing tone) I know buddy. I wish I could take everything back, but I can’t. So I guess I’ll have to fix it now. But it’ll be okay. We will be okay. Shh…
Neptune’s moons smiled at the heartwarming sight, glad these two were slowly becoming friends again.
[PLANET X]: (grunting) It’s not gonna work, Jupiter.
[JUPITER]: (begging) X, there are new rocky planets forming past this point. Let’s not make things messier!
[TITANIA]: Wait, new rocky planets? But that means…
[TITAN]: He’s talkin’ about the current ones—Mercury, Venus, Earth, and Mars.
[IAPETUS]: Technically, that’s incorrect. Modern Earth did not form until much later—when a Mars-sized protoplanet collided with Proto-Earth, which formed Luna and another spherical moon.
[DEIMOS]: (baffled) Wait—second moon??
[LUNA]: (gravely) He’s talking about Lilith.
[PHOBOS]: (confused) Who’s that?
[LUNA]: (distressed) L-Long story.
[IAPETUS]: Meanwhile, the protoplanet’s name was Theia.
[PLANET X]: I—I saw her from a distance when I was still isolated, and Proto was there too. When she collided with him, Theia’s body was swallowed by Proto’s mantle as they both died before reforming into Earth. Luna and Lilith were born from their remaining debris, but they woke up before him.
[LUNA]: So that’s how it happened…but how come Earth didn’t remember it?
[PLANET X]: I think Theia and Proto’s memories were transferred into his subconscious, so that’s why he was having those hallucinations after so long.
[LUNA]: Wait—how d’you know about the hallucinations?
[PLANET X]: Caelus and I saw what happened…after I left.
[TITANIA]: Hold on—Uranus was there with you?
[MIRANDA]: You guys reacted to that? (X nods) How—how did you…?
[PLANET X]: I dunno…we just sorta ended up here. But I want you to know that Caelus has finally come to his senses, and he’s already forgiven Jupiter and the other planets for everything. He also knows what’s going on with Earth and wanted to help him, but we got separated again ‘cause of that.
He gestured to the screen.
[ARIEL]: (anxiously) Can…can we talk to him?
[PLANET X]: Who, Caelus? Yeah, he’s willing to talk. I’m sure you guys will be okay—but I think communication is overdue, don’t you think?
[OBERON]: (fervent nod) I agree.
[MIRANDA & ARIEL]: Yeah!
Umbriel nodded silently.
[PLANET X]: (haughtily) Ha! Guess who decided to care about the other planets.
[JUPITER]: (honestly) I do care and I feel horrible. Let’s not both make the same mistake!
[PLANET X]: Let me go! I’m just getting a bit closer to talk to the Sun.
[JUPITER]: (pulling him again) Please!
“Ennea? Somni? Guys, where are you? This isn’t funny anymore! Please come out!”
“They’re gone, X. Don’t bother looking for them.”
“But Sun, I — ”
“This isn’t up for debate! My decision is final!”
“So that’s it? You’re just gonna give up on them like the others?”
“How dare you say that! I have spent millions of years protecting the Solar System with all I have! And now you have the gall to question me?!”
“Some star…you don’t care about any of us! Only yourself! And the way you treat Jupiter nowadays is abyssmal!”
Funny how this happened before Planet X ‘officially met’ the two gas giants…but how come he didn’t remember it until now? That was strange…
[PLANET X]: Please what? Oh don’t play the hero now. You’re stopping me to save your own surface. I’m telling the Sun.
Jupiter pleads Saturn for gravitational assistance, which he instantly accepts.
[PLANET X]: (struggling) I’m—not—being—silenced!
[ARIEL]: Whoa! Their gravity is strong!
[GANYMEDE]: Never underestimate Jupiter’s gravity.
[IO]: Yeah! Th-Th-They don’t call him the biggest planet for nothing!
[CALLISTO]: In the Solar System at least…
[ENCELADUS]: Hey! Don’t forget about Saturn’s.
[MIMAS]: Oh yeah, he’s huge.
The gas giants accidentally pull too hard and unintentionally fling him away from the Solar System.
[JUPITER]: X!
[SATURN]: (worriedly) Oh no! Did we use too much strength?
[JUPITER]: (tentatively) I-I don’t know! He wasn’t stopping!
[SATURN]: What are we gonna do?
[RHEA]: If they went after him, the Solar System would’ve fallen apart.
[LAOMEDEIA]: Everyone would either spiral inward or drift away.
[LUNA]: That’s what happened to Phaeton during the Late Heavy Bombardment.
[PHOBOS]: Uh—who’s Phaeton?
[LUNA]: (clarifying) She was Planet V—located between Mars and the Asteroid Belt.
[ELARA]: (somberly) She was a good friend of ours…but she’s gone now.
[DEIMOS]: What happened?
[ELARA]: She spiralled into the Sun. Mars tried to save her, but it was too late.
[METIS]: This happened before you guys were born, when he still had Nerio…oops.
[PHOBOS]: Who’s Nerio?
[DEIMOS]: N-No one!
[PHOBOS]: Deimos…
[DEIMOS]: Um…
While Planet X is hurtling through space, he catches a glimpse of Uranus and Neptune and desperately calls out to them for help. Unfortunately, they assume they were hearing things and continue playing with floating rocks.
[PLANET X]: So Neptune heard me…but Caelus didn’t.
Proteus fell asleep and shifted a little, his head currently on X’s shoulder.
[MIRANDA]: This is before they switched orbits.
[ARIEL]: Which means Telluria and Volumnia were still around…
[GALATEA]: And Cleodora.
[NAIAD]: I miss them…
[THALASSA]: Me too.
X zooms through the Kuiper Belt and is mildly struck by debris, screaming for help while Jupiter and Saturn panic from afar.
[JUPITER]: We—we need to help him!
[PLANET X]: So…he wanted to help me, but what stopped him?
[GANYMEDE]: Might as well find out.
[SATURN]: What? Do you want more planets to be destroyed? Jupiter, we are the biggest planets and the Solar System is too unstable right now! If we continue moving things around, it’ll just make things worse!
[HYPERION]: Should’ve known Saturn would stop him.
[IAPETUS]: He did the right thing. The Solar System was already chaotic, and to make further changes would be too risky.
[EUROPA]: Can’t imagine having to live with that guilt for billions of years…
[TRITON]: Some of us can.
[JUPITER]: (dreadful tone) But…what do we tell the Sun?
[SUN]: (offscreen) Tell me what?
They turn around to see him staring at them with a persistent expression.
[CALLISTO]: Yep—they’re dead.
[EUROPA]: That’s not what happened.
[CALLISTO]: I’m sure there’s a universe where it did.
[EUROPA]: Way to lift everyone’s spirits, Callisto.
[CALLISTO]: Whatever.
[JUPITER]: (nervously) Sun, I-I…how long have you been there?
[SUN]: (suspicious tone) Long enough to know that I don’t know anything. Wait! Where’s X? I don’t see him.
[SATURN]: (reluctantly) He’s—he’s…gone, Sun.
[PLANET X]: Originally, I was at five astronomical units, but then I moved to 500.
[HIPPOCAMP]: Five hundred??
[PLANET X]: Yep. It wasn’t fun.
[MIRANDA]: Isn’t Sedna’s orbit further away?
[LAOMEDEIA]: Her aphelion is 937 AU—but her perihelion is about 76.19 AU.
[MIRANDA]: When is she reaching perihelion again?
[LAOMEDEIA]: 2076.
[TRITON]: Not bad…69 more years.
[SUN]: (gritted teeth) Gone? What do you mean gone??!!
[JUPITER]: (apprehensively) He…h-he wanted to explore other solar systems a-and he left!
[EUROPA]: So that was lie number two.
[GANYMEDE]: I would’ve lied even more, to be honest.
[EUROPA]: How?
[GANYMEDE]: Uh…I’ll get back to you on that.
[EUROPA]: Sure.
Sol’s eye twitches before he releases a frustrated scream topped with a scary solar flare, causing Jupiter and Saturn to recoil in trepidation.
[EVERYONE]: Fuck…
[SUN]: (furiously) After everything I do for you all…SO BE IT!! GOOD RIDDANCE, PLANET X!! JUST LEAVE MY SOLAR SYSTEM!! We don’t need you!! WE HAVE EVERYTHING WE NEED HERE!!
[LARISSA]: Well that was rude!
[NEREID]: I know right?
[THALASSA]: I’m guessing the Sun never really liked X?
[PLANET X]: We—had our ups and downs, but he always preferred Jupiter and Saturn. The ice giants were pretty much nonexistent, including Caelus and Neptune.
[ARIEL]: (wincing) Is that why Uranus has low self-esteem?
[MIRANDA]: (pursed lips) I think so.
Planet X reaches his present-day spot and overhears Sol’s hateful words towards him, bowing his head sorrowfully.
[THALASSA]: You heard him?
[PLANET X]: Yep.
[THALASSA]: I’m sorry. That must’ve been hard.
[PLANET X]: I couldn’t really do anything about it, so…yeah.
[SUN]: (angrily) From now on, everyone will stay in their orbit! And we will all be friends! And no more planets will CRASH WITH EACH OTHER OR ABANDON THE SOLAR SYSTEM OR ANY OF THAT!! IS—THAT—CLEAR??!!
[JUPITER]: (frightened) Y-Yes sir!
[IO]: (glaring at screen) W-W-Will you stop scaring our planet?!
[MIMAS]: (exclaiming) Ours too!
[OTHER GAS GIANT MOONS]: Yeah!
[GANYMEDE]: The Sun doesn’t give a shit, so highly doubt it.
Sol turns the other way and mourns alone while the two gas giants face each other.
[SATURN]: That was close.
[JUPITER]: Saturn, we—what do we do now?
[METIS]: The only thing they could do…
[EUROPA]: That’s it. We’re talking to Jupiter after this is over.
[GANYMEDE]: I’m in.
[OTHER JOVIAN MOONS]: Us too.
[SATURN]: We make things right from now on, Jupiter.
[JUPITER]: (guilt-ridden) But we lied.
[SATURN]: (resigned) I know! I guess we’ll—have to live with that.
“Rhea? What’s wrong?”
“It’s my fault, Tethys. It’s all my fault…”
“No—it wasn’t your fault. Titan’s the one who moved out of his orbit, not you.”
“Dione’s right.”
“But I could’ve stopped it! I could’ve stopped it…”
He floats away, completely fatigued from today’s dramatic events while the other gas giant whimpers quietly. At the edge of the Solar System, Planet X struggles not to break down in tears.
[METIS]: Poor X…
[LUNA]: I can’t imagine how Jupiter and Saturn felt…
[EUROPA]: They really did feel horrible…but they made up for it a billion times over.
[PLANET X]: Yeah…they did.
THE END