Archive of Our Own

Caitlyn sprayed herself with more deodorant, the hissing sound filling up the space of her car. She coughed as she inhaled more of the fresh shower scent, knowing that she applied a lot from the sheer fear of smelling like sweat.

She turned on the air-conditioner, letting the cool morning air filter through and take some of the overpowering powdery scent with it.

The cars next to hers were already empty or had their respective drivers leaving their cars, and walking into the studio. Caitlyn peered through her tinted window, assessing the women who made their way to the studio.

One of them was a little on the taller side, braids with golden rings adorning them tied into a long ponytail. Her physique was slim, curvy with a healthy serving of some muscle.

She was gorgeous and Caitlyn couldn’t help but admire her smile as the woman threw her head back in laughter. The shorter person with her, a tanned-skinned woman with darker hair beamed up at her as they disappeared through the glass doors.

Caitlyn had been in the parking lot for fifteen minutes, staring at the doors like they would swallow her whole.

Jayce was an idiot for suggesting this, and Caitlyn was an even bigger idiot for driving all the way up to the studio just to stare at the glass doors and suffocate herself with her deodorant.

She was thankful that she didn’t dare to leave her car, thankful that she parked in the corner so none of the usual attendees picked up on her presence, thankful that her windows were slightly tinted so that no one would notice the woman with an eye-patch lurking around the studio.

—--------

One Week Earlier

“I’m not doing that,” Caitlyn said, throwing the pamphlet back at him without giving it a second look. The happy women on the cover felt like they’d slowly eat away at Caitlyn’s skin with their pearly white teeth.

Jayce gave her an exasperated look, rubbing his forehead. “Cait. You haven’t left the house in months.”

Caitlyn glared at him, her eyebrows knitting together. If she still had both of her eyes, the frustration in her gaze would stop him dead in his tracks. Instead, one furious sapphire orb and a navy eyepatch stared back at him.

Jacye continued to push, opening the pamphlet and pointing to the minimalist and clean text printed on it.

“Look, it says it’s women-led, and a very supportive environment. You can make plenty of friends.”

“Why would I need more friends when I have you?” Caitlyn smirked, placing a cup of steaming hot coffee in front of him.

Jayce rolled his eyes, “I can’t be your only friend, Cait. And, as your only friend,” he paused to take a sip of the liquid, wincing slightly at the hot coffee she should’ve warned him about but didn’t. He had eyes. And a brain.

“As your friend, the fact that you haven’t left the house at all for about four months is concerning me.”

Caitlyn narrows her gaze, her nostrils flaring slightly. “I leave my house! Don’t try and paint me as some depressed, traumatised damsel in distress who needs–”

Jayce halts her, holding his hands up in defence. “You only leave the house to go to the grocery store and to see me occasionally, when you’re not cancelling on me or rejecting my plans immediately.”

Caitlyn bit her lip, her thumb scraping against the coffee cup. “I like my own company. I like being alone, why is that so hard to understand?” Her voice was quiet, the frustration bleeding into exhaustion. She was so tired of having to constantly explain to Jayce that she was not depressed and that she just genuinely liked being at home.

Jayce leaned forward, his hands sliding across her marble countertop. His fingers nearly touched her wrist but did not, instead providing an annoying presence while he poured out his concerns.

“Cait… what happened to you… you can’t just pretend that it didn’t.” His voice was calm and collected in a way that would only come from rehearsal. He practised these words for her.

She said nothing, keeping her one good eye trained on the mug in front of her.

“You used to always keep busy. Yes, you could be a homebody but you were always doing something, always working yourself to the bone and walking with confidence everywhere you went.”

“Stop talking about me like I’ve died,” Caitlyn joked, a sad smile on her face. Of course, she was different. Anyone would be different after what happened to her. Jayce was kind and patient, and a great listener when it came to Caitlyn’s troubles. But he would never understand.

“Then stop acting like you have died.” Jayce raised his eyebrows, sipping his coffee with more preparation for the hot liquid.

Caitlyn sighed, pressing her fingers over the eyepatch absentmindedly. “I did try… you know I did.”

Jayce placed the coffee cup back on the counter, leaning back in the bar stool chair.

Caitlyn continued, her nails picking at the strap across her forehead. “I went to the park… like usual. I wanted to attempt to get my life back. But then…” she clenched her fists. “I just couldn’t deal with the feeling that someone would just be right around the corner, waiting to finish me off. Like this… thing would be waiting for me.”

Jayce’s hands were warm against her wrist, pulling her out of a spiral she wasn’t aware she was about to fall into.

“If you join this group, it can give you back that sense of control I know you desperately need.” The sympathy in Jayce’s eyes made Caitlyn want to slap him.

She removed her wrist from his grip, picking up her coffee to give it a sip.

“At least try? If you hate it and don’t want to go back then I wouldn’t judge you, but I will judge you for not trying at all.”

Caitlyn sighed in defeat, her eye flickering to the pamphlet Jayce slid back to her.

The women still looked annoyingly happy. Caitlyn couldn’t picture herself in that room. She couldn’t picture herself being so free in her body like those strong, sweaty women.

“Fine.” She relented, already regretting it.

“If it helps, I’ll drop you off?” Jayce attempted to coddle her and Caitlyn scoffed, holding her hand up.

“Should we get ice cream after?” Her voice dripped with steeling sarcasm.

Jayce rolled his eyes, a smile breaking through his facial features. Caitlyn found herself chuckling.

—--------

The Present

Caitlyn regretted the promise she gave Jayce, her knee bouncing in the driver’s seat.

Oil and Water was a newly built dance studio that doubled as a space for self-defence classes. Its windows were tall, shining in the morning sunlight. The proud banner for the place practically jumped up and down in its restraints. The women she observed going in and out were so happy, unencumbered by the world’s weight. Or perhaps they hid it better than Caitlyn did.

Caitlyn had no choice but to bear the markings of her attack on her face, hidden by an eyepatch that only drew more questionable looks from others.

Jayce would be mad at her, disappointed in her even, and she could deal with that. She could deal with Jayce because he was her friend. She could deal with the sympathetic look on his face.

She could not deal with the prospect of so many eyes being on her. She could not deal with knowing no one at the studio. She could not deal with the smell of sweat. She could not deal–

A knock startled her, causing Caitlyn to jump in her seat and shake. Once her heart stopped racing and her face started to burn, she turned to her left, nearly jumping again at the sight of the gorgeous woman from earlier peering through her window with a friendly, unsure smile.

Caitlyn rolled down her window, meeting the woman’s gaze cautiously.

“Hi there. I’m so sorry, I did not mean to startle you.” The woman’s smile was as friendly as she expected them to be and her eyes were glimpses of a rain forest.

Caitlyn shook her head, smiling sheepishly. “No, sorry. It’s alright.”

The woman softened, casting a friendly smile on Caitlyn. “Well, I’m Mel. I was just coming back to my car for my water bottle when I saw you sitting in your car. Pardon my nosiness but you seemed frozen.”

Caitlyn blushed once more, her right hand lingering on the steering wheel. She, unfortunately, couldn’t just speed out of there with Mel lingering so close to the car.

“Well… I’m Caitlyn. And forgive me, I’ve just been sitting here and… mulling, I suppose.”

Mel chuckled, her arms crossing over her chest, the toned muscles and smooth skin practically glistening in the sun. Caitlyn couldn’t help but admire the women. She still had one working eye.

“First-day jitters? I had them as well.” Mel offered, gesturing to the big shiny doors to their right. “You’re here now, and I’ve already spotted you despite your best efforts. Why not just come in?”

Caitlyn bit her lip, her thumbnail picking at the leather of her steering wheel. “I… I’m just worried this may not be for me.”

Mel encouraged her further, leaning a hand on Caitlyn’s door. “You look tightly wound, Caitlyn. Perhaps something that’s new will be good for you.”

Caitlyn chuckled, appreciating the honesty. If Mel and Jayce met, they’d probably get along quite well.

“You can stick with me. And, trust me, the girls there and the people we work with are angels. A judgement-free zone.”

Caitlyn studied Mel’s face for a moment, deducing that sincerity was all she could see on the woman’s features. She glanced back at the big shiny doors, her fingers flexing against the steering wheel.

She was still terrified but somehow sitting in her car on the verge of an anxiety attack had attracted the attention of a woman who looked kind. A woman who was willing to support her without really even knowing Caitlyn at all.

“Okay… Okay, let’s do it before I change my mind.” Caitlyn breathed out, her hands plucking her keys out from the ignition and then grabbing her steel water bottle.

Mel smiled with big white pearly teeth that warmed Caitlyn’s skin instead of tearing tiny holes in it.

—--------

Mel led her through the glass doors and the reception area, where a skinny pale woman with striking blue hair greeted her with a small grin. The woman turned her attention back to the laptop screen, barely paying any mind to Caitlyn.

Caitlyn followed Mel’s lead like a lost puppy, taking in the calm splendour of the studio. One wall was decorated with a myriad of posters, some of them filled with graffiti designs and others remaining true to the neutral and minimalistic aesthetic of Oil and Water.

Mel led her down the long corridor, with Caitlyn’s sneakers making squeaking noises against the vinyl floors. Caitlyn walked taller by Mel’s side, feeling a new wave of something that felt like confidence wash over her body.

When they entered one of the studios, a flowery scent greeted her and Mel urged her in with a nod.

There were about fifteen or so women in the room, some of them striking up a conversation over their bottles of water, some of them off to the side typing away on their cellphones. Two women, one of them being the shorter woman Mel was speaking to earlier, stood near the centre of the room. The other woman was muscular, with dyed blue short dreads and dramatic pink and blue eye shadow.

Mel gave them a small wave and then gestured to Caitlyn beside her. “This is Caitlyn. She’s new.”

Caitlyn could see the moment both women flickered their eyes towards her eyepatch but paid it no mind.

“Hey, I’m Gert.” The muscular woman replied evenly, before gesturing to the shorter woman. “This is Elora.”

Caitlyn smiled graciously, hoping that Mel’s friends were as kind as the woman said they were. Mel’s small circle seemed kind and laid back as they fell into what she assumed to be their usual conversation.

Caitlyn took a moment to scan the room, studying the rest of the women. They were a mix of lifestyles and personalities, clad in leggings and athleisure wear.

She could see the faint presence of scars on Gert’s arm, thicker and lighter lines of raised skin that told Caitlyn she either had a deeply personal problem or got into a lot of physical altercations. Elora was dainty, like a ballerina with a calming voice, though her eyes reminded Caitlyn of a fawn.

Before she could muse further, two claps came from the door, with everyone’s attention perking up. When Caitlyn turned to follow everyone’s gaze, she couldn’t help but drag her gaze over the woman who walked in.

“Hi everyone! Sorry, I’m late. There was an accident a few blocks from here,” the woman’s voice was raspy at the edges, melodic in some syllables and rougher in others. She had pink hair, shaved into a fresh undercut with long wisps of her fringe hanging over the right side of her face, obscuring the skin slightly. Longer strands hung down the space between two defined shoulder blades, forming a silky mullet that only further complimented her physique. Her eyes were an electric light blue, and her nose ring perfectly framed the scar on her upper lip. She had the Roman numeral for the number six tattooed on her cheek.

Just as Caitlyn was taking in the vast and muscled skin of the woman’s arms, perfectly on display thanks to a light brown tank top, Mel put a hand on Caitlyn’s back.

“We have a newcomer, Vi.” Mel addressed the woman, who had her back turned momentarily to set her things down in a corner. It gave Caitlyn a brief look at the inked skin on the woman’s back, cogs, machinery and clouds blending into thick and bold lines that crept up her shoulders and onto her neck. They spilt down the back of her arms into clouds of smoke and Caitlyn had to pull her gaze away once the woman turned back.

“Sorry, Mel, what was that?” Vi gave Mel a friendly smile, her eyes already drifting to Caitlyn.

“This is Caitlyn,” Mel gently pushed Caitlyn forward, practically pushing her off a diving board into those seafoam eyes. “She’s new.”

Vi gave a friendly smile, sharp white teeth glistening, “Well, welcome to Self Defence class, Caitlyn.”

Vi bounded closer, reaching a rough hand out for a handshake that Caitlyn clumsily accepted, trying to ignore the warmth of Vi’s fingers against the back of her hand.

“How’d you hear about us?” Vi asked, crossing her arms over her chest and Caitlyn swore the woman was trying to draw more attention to her biceps on purpose.

“My friend gave me a pamphlet,” Caitlyn shrugged, a grin on her face. “I just thought I would try it.”

Vi gave her a close-lipped smile as she nodded, “Well, it’s good you came.” V’s eyes raked over Caitlyn’s body shamelessly, like she was assessing her ability. Caitlyn was thankful she applied all of that deodorant when she felt the back of her knees start to sweat.

Caitlyn didn’t mind Vi’s gaze, especially since the woman barely acknowledged the eyepatch across her face.

Suddenly, Vi clapped once more, gathering everyone’s attention. “Alright, let’s start with some stretches.”

Vi quickly walked away to the front of the class, rolling her shoulders and neck.

Mel pulled Caitlyn backwards and she started to suspect that this day had turned into an ocean she was being swept around in, each new current a pair of hands pulling her in another direction.

“You’re tall as hell,” Mel remarked with a teasing smile, gesturing to the little half-circle that was forming around Vi. “We need to linger back here otherwise the shorter ones get annoyed.” Mel gestured with her chin towards Elora, eagerly beginning her own shoulder rolls and neck stretches.

Caitlyn chuckled as her stare moved back to the pink-haired woman in front, catching the stormy light blue eyes flickering across her features once more. Caitlyn pretended not to notice it as she slowly copied the movements.

—--------

The class itself was intimidating. She didn’t know how long the other women had attended the class but she found herself sitting down against the back wall, watching the women run through poses. It was safer than diving in head-first, and Vi did not seem to mind and allowed her to observe from afar.

They looked uniform, moving like a self-realised army that Caitlyn could only dream of being. She felt herself shrink against the floor, hoping that the more she folded herself she would eventually disappear.

They breathed together, Vi leading the charge as they stared at themselves in the wall-length mirror. They kicked in unison, punching and pulling back as one like a sea of ferociousness.

Vi held her hand up, fingers outstretched. “Good job everyone. Take ten minutes then we’ll come back.” Caitlyn couldn’t help but bite the inside of her cheek when she saw Vi’s collarbones glistening with sweat.

She watched them as they slowly dispersed, and she assumed Mel and her gang would walk over to her. It looked like they were about to, drinking from the water bottles when a sliver of pink startled Caitlyn.

“Comfortable on that floor?” Vi asked, crouching down in front of Caitlyn. From the angle, Caitlyn could clearly see the dampness in Vi’s hair, the longer strands frizzing up and becoming wavier.

Caitlyn stuttered, bending her knee in front of her body as her hands fiddled with the lace of her shoe. “I guess so. It is.”

Vi chuckled before she moved to sit down near Caitlyn, smelling of sweet sweat and whatever musky deodorant she used. Their shoulders touched and Caitlyn pulled away as calmly as she could, putting an inch of space between them as Vi got settled next to her.

“I know it seems like a lot. But I’m not gonna’ make you start throwing people over your shoulders and onto the floor right away. We go at a pace that’s comfortable for you.”

Caitlyn chuckled, resting her chin on her own shoulder as she secretly stared down at Vi’s hands. They were roughened and marred with scars on her knuckles, and her fingers were long as she clutched her water bottle.

“I came today because I wanted to see if this would be right for me,” Caitlyn found herself explaining, her hand tugging at the strap of her eyepatch out of instinct.

“And? What do you think so far?” Vi’s eyes looked hopeful, with a glint of playfulness.

Caitlyn took a moment to look around the room, resting her head against the cool wall behind her head. “I don’t know if I can be all that good.”

Vi snorted, earning a furrowed brow from Caitlyn. “The point isn’t to be good, it’s to know how to defend yourself. To take control of your body and the space around you, especially if someone is trying to overstep.”

Vi followed Caitlyn’s gaze, focusing on Mel, Elora, and Gert who were sneaking suspicious looks over to the both of them.

“Look, Caitlyn.” Vi’s voice changed, morphing into something soft and delicate. “You don’t have to come back if you don’t think it’s right for you, but it is a valuable skill to learn. I understand your fear, and I’m pretty sure everyone else in the room understands it as well.”

Caitlyn breathed out through her nostrils, biting her lip as she mulled over the options. She did want to go back home as soon as possible. She did want to isolate herself further, refusing to even leave for groceries for at least a week.

But, she didn’t hate looking at Vi. She didn’t hate talking to Mel and the rest of her friends. Plus, the nearby bakery also sold coffee.

“After this break, I’m gonna’ go through some basics. Everyone needs to start somewhere.”

It seemed that this place was Somewhere. A place where she could crawl to every Saturday, a pair of powder blue eyes and a warm smile waiting for her.

—--------

She answered Jayce’s fourth call with a mouthful of an overly sweet cupcake she picked up from Babette’s Bakery.

“Can you relax? I just walked in.” Caitlyn chided, setting down her bag and car keys on the counter before placing her phone there too.

“So you actually went?” Jayce’s voice was hopeful coming through her phone’s speaker, and Caitlyn rolled her eyes.

“Yes, I did.”

“And?” She could practically hear him crossing his fingers.

“It was alright.”

“So now will you be able to throw me over your shoulder?”

Caitlyn laughed, cringing at probably breaking her arms in two if she tried to lift Jayce.

“Not there yet, I’m afraid. I still have the basics to learn. Vi says I need to build up my core strength.”

“Who’s Vi?” Jayce was overly invested in her well-being, taking too much delight in the fact that she left her house for once.

“The instructor.”

“Nice. Already making friends.”

Caitlyn groaned, taking another bite of the cupcake before speaking. “She’s not my friend. But I did meet other women. You’d actually like Mel, I think she might be your type.”

“Don’t tempt me,” Jayce sighed and Caitlyn giggled, wiping the icing from her lip with her thumb. “So will this be a regular thing?”

Caitlyn took a dramatic pause, delighting at the tense silence between them.

“Perhaps. How else am I going to pass your details over to Mel?”

“This is cause for celebration!” Jacye gleefully glossed over the second half of her sentence. “Caitlyn Kiramman has left her house, everybody.”

Caitlyn rolled her eyes, taking another hedonistic bite of the cupcake, a little icing wiping off the point of her nose. “Goodbye Jayce.”

“Wait, wait–” Jayce pleaded just before Caitlyn pressed the big red button.

“Caitlyn… I know it hasn’t been easy these past few months. But I am really proud of you.”

She stiffened, her fingers tightened over the cupcake in her hands.

“I’m not a child. You don’t need to congratulate me on leaving the house.”

She clicked the button.

The cupcake was decimated between her fingers, icing and bits of cake dripping onto her counter. She knew she was harsh. She knew that Jayce would probably text her and apologise to her incessantly.

That’s what happens when someone brutally violates you. Everyone is sorry. Sorry you went through it, sorry they weren’t there, sorry that you lost your eye, sorry that someone took away a piece of you, sorry that you can’t leave your house anymore. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Overnight she became a vessel for everyone’s condolences. And the only thing she could offer back was isolation and irritation.

She threw the remainder of the cupcake in the garbage, before wiping down her counter with a napkin.

She replied to Jayce’s messages two days later, apologising for snapping at him.

—------

Caitlyn chose to wear black leggings the following week, paired with a dark purple sweater. She wore a plain camisole top underneath it, knowing that she would eventually work up enough of a sweat to take off the sweater and toss it into her bag. She tied her hair back into a higher ponytail and kept nervously smoothing the fly-aways.

A week ago, she sat outside in her car and was graciously saved by Mel. She didn’t hate the place and surmised that she could learn to love it and make friends. It did feel nice to have a routine again, even if the class was a weekly one, it still gave her a sense of purpose.

She adjusted her eyepatch once more before stepping out of her car. As she made her way to the room, she noticed the usual woman with long blue hair was no longer sitting at reception. Instead, a towering, well-built and buff woman with dark brown skin took her place with short hair that wisped along the edge of her face. She seemed like she did not want to be there, but gave Caitlyn a curt nod in greeting.

It seemed like Oil and Water churned out muscular women, or at least was a safe haven for them. Caitlyn had never been blessed with a buff body, but before the incident, she regularly attended her local gym every other day. She was toned and tall, her physique was something she used to take a little pride in before it all.

As she entered the familiar practice room she immediately spotted Mel and Gert in the corner of the room, the taller woman waving towards her with an open grin.

“Caitlyn! So glad you decided to stick with it.” Mel’s grin was infectious and Caitlyn found herself smiling back.

“Thanks for helping me last week,” she sheepishly pulled on the sleeves of her sweater. “I really appreciated it.”

“No worries at all. We’ve all been there before,” Mel assured her, a gentle hand on Caitlyn’s upper arm. Caitlyn doesn’t want to further inquire about what ‘there’ is exactly.

As they fell into idle conversation that involved exchanging numbers and an invitation to join them for lunch afterwards, Caitlyn couldn’t help but keep sideways glances glued to the door.

After about three minutes exactly, the woman her eye was looking for finally appeared, clad in a tight-fitting red t-shirt and leggings that hugged her muscular legs in all the right places. Caitlyn felt a parasitic feeling start to swirl in her lower belly, one that she was sure she would never feel again. She quickly turned herself away, pretending as if she was listening to Mel talk about her work the entire time.

She was expecting to hear Vi greet the group of them to start the class. She wasn’t expecting the footsteps behind her, nor was she expecting to hear the pure honeyed voice of the tattooed instructor crawl its way up her shoulders to her reddened ears.

“Glad to have you back,” Vi smelt like cinnamon that day like she had spent her morning making a delicious breakfast. It did not help the gnawing feeling Caitlyn was trying to ignore.

Caitlyn smiled tightly, tilting her head downwards to meet the gaze of the slightly shorter woman. “Glad to be back. I’ve been practising a little, started doing situps at home.”

Vi chuckled proudly, the scar on her upper lip rising with her lips. “And how does it feel?” The pink-haired woman cocked her head to the side as Mel and Gert gave them some space to speak privately.

Caitlyn swallowed, shrugging, before she responded. “Good. Sore, but nice. It’ll feel better when I can flip someone over my shoulder easily.”

Vi laughed and Gods, it was a glorious sound that cut straight to Caitlyn’s stomach. “You still need a little more practice before we get to that.”

Caitlyn found herself blushing, yet a conflicting feeling of disgust made itself a home in her stomach. She swallowed, willing away the nausea. “Sounds great.”

Luckily, Vi didn’t notice or care about Caitlyn’s small change in demeanour as the tattooed woman clapped her hands together to gather attention.

Caitlyn watched her walk to the front of the classroom, barely listening to Vi’s explanation of the lesson plan that day.

Caitlyn tried to blink away the painful memories of that night. The rain on her skin and the suffocating feeling around her throat made her skin burn.

She shook her head, immediately falling into stretches beside Mel. She stretched her shoulders out, bending her left arm behind her head with her free arm to aid the stretch at her elbow, and then alternating.

She swore a pair of powder blue eyes kept finding her, kept drifting to the back to meet her gaze. She didn’t want to think further about what that could mean.

—-----

“Elora’s away for the weekend,” Mel explained, taking a small sip of her strawberry milkshake.

Caitlyn had followed Gert and Mel in her car after the class, all of them slightly sweaty and flushed. Caitlyn was grateful for that, so she didn’t have to explain why her face turned a deeper shade of crimson every time Vi bent her legs or flexed her arms.

“So, that’s why she’s not here right now. But, she’ll be back next week.” Mel continued, popping a french fry in her mouth.

Mel was the talkative one of the group, always including everyone in the conversation with beauty and grace. Gert was quieter, chiming in every now and then but listening attentively. Caitlyn fell somewhere in the middle, participating more and more as the lunch dragged on.

She felt somewhat normal, somewhat like herself. She had abandoned her sweater in her car, wearing the tank top for most of the duration of the class. She tried to stop her thoughts from flickering back to Vi’s appreciative gaze.

“I started coming to the class about two months ago now?” Mel thought about it, her head tilting in thought. “Yes. Two months. That’s where I met Gert. I dragged Elora with me.”

Gert chuckled, “She basically adopted me.”

Caitlyn laughed, her right hand swirling the straw of her half-done vanilla milkshake. “How long have you been coming then?”

Gert leaned her head on her hand, looking back at Mel and then at Caitlyn. “About three months. I just mostly kept to myself. I knew Vi was doing it and she’s an old friend so I joined.”

Caitlyn felt a flutter where the confusing feelings swirled in her stomach, a spark igniting. “How did you know Vi?”

Gert picked up the last of her fries, popping them into her mouth as she spoke. “We grew up together, around the same circles. We’re both from Zaun.”

Caitlyn raised her eyebrows in recognition. Piltover and the Undercity were two diametrically opposed cities, hanging by a thread of an image of a united front. It was no secret that the people of the Undercity were ‘scrappier’ according to Piltovians. Undercity dwellers often referred to Piltovians as rich and stuck up. Caitlyn knew they weren’t exactly wrong since she grew up in the highest and richest circles of Piltover. Over the years, the lines started to blur between the two cities with more people from the Undercity making their way to Piltover. No matter how much integration there was, there was still a silent divide between the two.

Caitlyn couldn’t help but wonder about what Vi’s life was like before she came to Piltover to run the self-defence courses, or if Vi still lived in the Undercity.

“What’s going on with the two of you, anyway?” Mel interjected, folding two hands under her chin.

Caitlyn felt her face flush, hoping she had enough awareness to school her expression. “With who?”

Mel and Gert shared a knowing look and Caitlyn didn’t know what to make of that.

“She’s into you, Caitlyn.” Gert put it simply, leaning back in her chair.

Caitlyn swallowed, unable to hide the blush on her face. “That’s–”

“Well, the look on your face says it all. You’re into her, too.” Mel chimed in.

“I’m not–”

“I bet we could get them together. Could also force you to finally ask Sevika out.”

Mel scoffed, leaving Caitlyn with wide eyes. “I don’t–”

“You do, don’t even pretend you don’t,” Mel and Gert fell into bickering, pointing fingers at each other. It left Caitlyn slightly panicked.

She gripped the edge of her table, her mind racing. She could not afford to like Vi and Vi definitely was not into her. The woman was gorgeous in every way, strong and charismatic with a sense of humour that was dry and biting. Caitlyn was… Caitlyn was a shell of a person. A person she didn’t know if she could ever get back to being.

“I have to go,” Caitlyn suddenly cut Gert and Mel off. She stood up from the table quickly, throwing a few bills onto the table to cover the meal for everyone. She ignored the confused looks of the two women.

“Oh.. okay. We didn’t mean to pull your leg, Caitlyn. It was all in good fun. We didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” Mel tried to apologise but Caitlyn was already biting down the bile in her throat. Gert looked disturbed, to say the least.

“It’s alright. I just need to get going.” Caitlyn quickly tried to douse their concern, picking up her bag from the empty chair next to her. She quickly waved at them, barely saying goodbye before exiting the restaurant.

She practically ran to her car, closing the door with a slam. She couldn’t drive until she got herself under control but she needed to distract herself somehow.

The thought of Vi looking at her with anything other than disgust sent her into a tailspin and the circumstances of it all brought back memories of that painful night. In her panic-ridden state, she briefly thought about calling her father but quickly rationalised that it was a terrible idea.

Instead, without much thought, she picked up her phone and found herself clicking the phone icon on Jayce’s contact card. He answered after three rings and a few tears falling down her face.

“Hey, what’s up? How’d your class go?”

Caitlyn couldn’t speak, her throat twisting with every effort to form a sentence. She only let out a small gasp, begging for her lungs to take in more air.

“Cait? Are you okay? Where are you?” Jayce was worried, his voice dripping with concern that she did not deserve. It had been enough time since the incident for her to have better control of herself, to not bother her only friend.

“Car.” It was the only word she was able to choke out, her hand at her chest.

“Do you need me to come get you?” She could tell that Jayce was currently shuffling around hurriedly, abandoning whatever he was doing to save her.

“No!” Caitlyn gasped out, gripping the steering wheel. “Just… just talk to me.”

“Oh… alright, yeah.” Jayce was still worried but she knew she didn’t want to interrupt his Saturday just so he could drive across Piltover to console her. He would gladly do so, but that doesn’t stop her guilt.

Jayce talked about his newest engineering quandary and calculations that Caitlyn did not understand. Caitlyn listened at first, barely saying anything as she clung to Jayce’s words like a lifeline. The thoughts dissipated slowly and her breathing was laboured, but eventually calmed down after about ten uninterrupted minutes of Jayce talking.

She asked a couple of questions in a small, rough voice, her nails picking at the leather of her steering wheel. She was grateful that everyone who walked past her car minded their business.

When the world finally stopped spinning and crackling beneath her feet, she sighed, thanking Jayce for his time.

“You know I’m here Cait. Always have been, always will.” Jayce soothed, and Caitlyn felt so guilty about snapping at him last week. Sometimes the sympathy was sickening and unnecessary but there were times when she needed it because she refused to give it to herself.

“What happened?” Jayce’s gentle question lingered and Caitlyn sighed, feeling worn and too tired to keep her walls up for that moment.

“I just… I panicked because I went out with some of the other girls from the class…” Caitlyn paused, debating how much she should reveal.

Jayce probed further, “And?”

“And… they said that the instructor might be into me.”

She could feel Jayce bristle through the phone, his machismo making her roll her eyes. “Cait, if he goes anywhere near you I will have–”

“Can you relax? Don’t you remember the class being women-led?” Caitlyn bit out, pressing her index and thumb to the bridge of her nose to dull the headache slowly forming in her sinuses. “She’s a woman, Jayce. A beautiful, hot, sexy, strong woman.”

“Oh…” Jayce sounded confused, the line crackling a little before he spoke again. “Is that supposed to be a bad thing?”

Caitlyn grunted, “Yes! It’s a terrible thing!”

Caitlyn thought the man was slowly doubting her sanity as he carefully asked the next question. “Well… why is it terrible?”

“Because… because…” Caitlyn stuttered, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to admit the deepest parts of her self-loathing, that would be too far. Even for Jayce. “Because I don’t want to be desired right now. I don’t need all of these complications on top of everything else.”

“It sounds like you desire her, too.” Jayce pointed out and Caitlyn knew there was a smirk on his face that she wanted to slap off.

“I don’t… I don’t.”

“You don’t or you don’t want to?”

Caitlyn huffed for one final time, deciding that the purpose of the call was fulfilled. “Thanks for your help, Jayce. I appreciate you. Goodbye.”

“Wait! Wait!” Jayce’s frantic voice almost startled her.

“What?” She hated how easy it was for her to get irritable these days.

“I’ll come see you tomorrow. I’ll bring ice cream.”

Caitlyn looked to the street on the other side of her door, sighing. There was a gum wrapper discarded on the floor, dirtied and crinkled and she could barely see the bright blue colour of the plastic.

“That would be nice.”

—-----

A week later, when she arrived at the next class, Caitlyn sprayed herself with deodorant again and again. This time she did not cough or choke.

Jayce did come over the day after her little breakdown and while she was clear she did not want to talk about her possible attraction to Vi, she could still see it brewing under his thick eyebrows.

Caitlyn resolved her issues internally. She decided whatever this was us, between her and Vi, was something small. Her nervous system was out of sorts and she overreacted. So what if she liked to linger on Vi’s arms for a little while longer? So what if Caitlyn caught Vi staring at her multiple times during the last class?

She steeled herself, taking in a deep breath and exhaling before opening her door.

“Hey! Caitlyn!”

All of her resolutions fell flat at the sound of the Zaunite’s voice, light and airy in the morning breeze.

Vi carried a duffle bag over her shoulders, wearing a leather jacket over a tight white t-shirt and dark blue leggings. Long strands from her fringe covered the right side of her face, but still, Caitlyn could see both of the grey storms clearly, threatening to swallow her whole.

“Hello, Vi.” Caitlyn smiled, holding onto the strap of her bag that bit into her shoulder.

“Ready for today?” Vi had a bounce in her step, her smile thinning out into a grin.

Caitlyn nodded, pursing her lips together. “Yes. I think I’m ready to throw you over my shoulder now.”

Vi chuckled again, her gaze lingering on Caitlyn in a way that made her breath stop short as they walked into the building.

Vi held the door open for her, allowing Caitlyn to enter first.

“Not that I would mind, but you’re not gonna’ be throwing me over your shoulder.”

Caitlyn pretended like she wasn’t saddened by the fact. But it was probably for the better. If Caitlyn had to actually put her hands on Vi, to make physical contact with her, she might lose all sense of direction. It was silly, and it wasn’t normal by any means. A simple touch, or the idea of one, shouldn’t reduce her insides to liquids. But she was still learning to navigate her instincts again. She was still learning to find her footing in the world all over again.

“Hey, Pow.” Vi greeted the blue-haired woman at the desk who smiled for the first time since Caitlyn saw her. The girl's face was rounder, her blue eyes practically eating the room whole, and her teeth were slightly set apart. She had on dark lipstick that further contrasted with her pale skin.

“What’s up, fat hands?” The woman’s voice was nasally, and rough and judging from Vi’s body language they knew each other pretty well.

“Where’s Sevika?” Vi asked, resting her hands on the reception desk and ignoring the woman’s comment. Caitlyn stood awkwardly to the side, unsure if she should remain there or make her way to the practice room.

“Her car’s fucked for a bit. It’s a shame, not for her, for me because I had plans.”

Vi rolled her eyes, about to snark back when the woman turned to Caitlyn, openly scanning her from head to toe. “Gonna’ introduce me to your girlfriend?”

Caitlyn felt her heart fall to the floor and skid across it while Vi reached over to slap the woman’s arm. “Don’t be rude. She’s not my girlfriend.”

The woman rolled her eyes, smacking Vi’s hands away. “Well, at least introduce me to the new girl?”

It seemed that Caitlyn’s throat fell with her heart to the floor. Luckily, Vi answered for her.

“This is Caitlyn.” Vi shot a look at the blue-haired woman. “Caitlyn, this is Powder. My sister.”

Caitlyn nodded, briefly scanning over both of their faces to find small similarities between the two of them. Their faces had roughly the same shape.

“Call me, Jinx.” The woman said, “Powder’s reserved for family.”

“Hi Jinx,” Caitlyn smiled, nodding courteously after she found her voice. “Nice to meet you.”

“What happened to your eye?” Jinx gestured to Caitlyn’s left eye and Vi slapped her sister’s upper arm again.

“You can’t just ask someone that,” Vi scolded. Caitlyn found the exchange endearing, to see this side of Vi.

Caitlyn held up her hand in mock surrender, “Vi, it’s fine, really.” It wasn’t, but this was her new normal, no matter how much the thought of explaining made her feel sick.

“I lost it on duty one night.” Caitlyn left out the rest of the details. It was easier that way.

It earned Vi’s curiosity, who leaned against the receptionist’s desk. “Duty? What does that mean?”

Caitlyn smiled tightly, fiddling with the patch over her scarred eye. “I was a junior Enforcer. Not anymore, though.”

She didn’t expect both women to stiffen as they did, nor for them to share a quick look at each other. They didn’t look impressed.

Silence fell between the three of them and Caitlyn could hear the squeaks of shoes over the floors as more women entered the studio.

“Is… did I say something?”

Vi shook her head, plastering a smile on her gorgeous features that didn’t feel authentic in the slightest. “No, no. Sorry. Let’s get to class.”

Vi moved forward, leading the way to the class, leaving Caitlyn a little flabbergasted. She stole a look at Jinx who avoided her gaze as well, and she wanted to exit the studio and pretend she never met Vi.

“Hey, Cait!” Elora greeted, followed by Mel. It seemed like Gert wasn’t attending that day. “Ready for today?”

Caitlyn took one last look at Jinx, noticing how Vi’s sister was doing her best to ignore her. It stung and left a sinking feeling in her chest.

“Yeah, ready as ever,” Caitlyn replied, matching Vi’s earlier fake smile, except no one saw through it.

As the class continued it was like Vi was purposefully not glancing in her direction. The woman did everything not look in Caitlyn’s direction, even when she walked through the group to observe their work. Caitlyn was paired up with Elora, and her face burned in shame every time she felt Vi walk behind her. She didn’t think she would miss Vi’s piercing eyes as much as she did.

An icy chasm split between them in a matter of one conversation. She had a suspicion of why that was the case. People from the Undercity didn’t trust Enforcers and had good reason not to. The old Piltovian government used them at a whim, accosting the people of Zaun at any given time. But was Vi’s hatred of Enforcers buried so deep that it had cost them a possible friendship?

Her thoughts untethered her from reality and she zoned out, lost in all the possibilities when Elora tried to throw a faux punch at Caitlyn’s face. They were practising simple evasive manoeuvres, ones that she was once familiar with at the training academy. It was meant to be simple, but her anxious mind and her shoddy depth of field underestimated the distance she needed to move.

She dodged Elora’s soft fist quickly, but in doing so, got her foot caught in the edge of the rubber gym mat she was on. She took a step back to steady herself but found herself falling to the floor anyway, pain immediately flaring up from her ankle. She yelped out in pain, both from the pain in her ankle and the harsh cold floor that met her back.

She struggled to take in another breath, the smell of rain and tar infiltrating her nostrils as memories of that night took over her. She could feel the pain as if it was brand new and raw, her left eye pulsing and stinging as red momentarily flooded her vision. Her body locked up, afraid to move a single muscle. She felt like her mind was floating on the ceiling like it did in the cloudy sky that night, pieces of it left on the pavement.

Caitlyn blinked out of the memory, her brow sweating. The simple blue t-shirt she wore that day stuck to her skin. Elora looked down at her in horror, apologising profusely, while Mel and Gert rushed over, followed by the other women who formed a small, concerned crowd.

Caitlyn groaned, sitting up from the floor but feeling her ankle develop a pulse of its own. A strong hand was at her back and she assumed it was Mel, until a soft voice tickled the skin of her neck.

“Your ankle?” Vi was so close to her that Caitlyn could smell the toothpaste the woman used.

Caitlyn nodded, bending her leg to rest her foot lightly against the floor. Vi immediately got to work, crouching down next to Caitlyn.

“Can I…?” Vi asked, placing her large hand over Caitlyn’s shoe. Caitlyn was in too much pain to care and nodded while she grimaced.

Vi quickly removed Caitlyn’s gym shoe, pulling back the fabric of her sock to inspect the area. Caitlyn felt Vi’s fingers carefully prodding at her ankle and her leg reflexively tensed.

In response, Vi placed her other hand on Caitlyn’s shin with an apologetic look. Caitlyn watched the features of Vi’s face harden with guilt and concentration as her long fingers felt around the ligament of her ankle.

“Just a sprain. I don’t feel anything that’s broken.” Vi sighed in relief. Their eyes locked for a moment, dancing in each other’s irises. Caitlyn dove into the storm while the chasm between them melted.

Mel’s voice broke them apart as she kneeled on Caitlyn’s other side. “I can drive you home, Cait.”

“No, no.” Caitlyn recovered, leaning against her hand. She didn’t reject Vi’s steady arm at her back, helping her stand up. The woman was incredibly warm and smelt intoxicatingly good, ankle be damned.

“You can’t drive with that, you need to rest it,” Vi commented, the earlier distance between them long forgotten.

Was this Vi’s penance? Was this her own penance?

“Really, I’m fine. I can manage.” Caitlyn waved them both off, looking at Elora who looked close to tears.

“I didn’t expect that to happen, I’m really sorry,” the shorter woman stared down at Caitlyn’s ankle, then cinched her eyebrows in worry. “I’ll drive you to the hospital.”

Caitlyn immediately raised her voice, attempting to school her frustration and her pain with gritted teeth and a raised hand. “Elora, it’s alright. I wasn’t paying attention. You don’t need to worry about that.”

“I’ll take you, then.” Mel offered, crossing her arms. “No offence to Vi, but she’s not a doctor, so you need to make absolutely sure the bones aren’t broken.”

Vi’s other hand was still on her shin, burning a hole through her leggings. Her ankle throbbed in time with her pulse and she couldn’t put any pressure on it if she tried. The floor dug into her ass cheeks and she was sweating at the back of her neck. Everyone’s eyes were on her, slicing at her, examining her and pitying her. She needed to find a way out of there and fast.

“Class is meant to end in fifteen minutes anyway,” Vi mentioned softly, her thumb stroking across Caitlyn’s knee. “I could take you.”

Caitlyn felt like her body would implode soon enough if Vi didn’t get her hands off of her.

“I… no, that’s fine. I can just–”

“Just let her take you, Gods.” Gert groaned, gesturing to Vi with an exasperated look. “You two are so useless.”

Vi looked like she ignored that comment while Caitlyn was still trying to figure out how she felt about the tattooed woman’s touch on her body.

“Come on, Cupcake,” Vi whispered in a tone of voice that made Caitlyn’s head spin. She gently placed a hand around Caitlyn’s back, bringing the taller woman’s long arms to rest over her muscled shoulders. Caitlyn felt like a limp doll as Vi stood her up, supporting her more than she needed to.

Caitlyn couldn’t help the way her body leaned against Vi’s warmth or the way goosebumps spread under Vi’s fingers. It felt like her body chased the warmth of Vi instinctively. Nervous system be damned.

—---

Vi’s scent filtered through Caitlyn’s car, musk and cinnamon infiltrating her nostrils. Vi was silent after she asked Caitlyn how she was doing and if she needed anything else. (What else could she possibly give Caitlyn in that moment, anyway?)

The drive to the hospital was awfully tense and luckily, Caitlyn’s ankle faded into a dull throb that only screamed in protest whenever she put pressure on it. Vi had her window down, the longer strands flapping in the wind behind the instructor’s back.

Caitlyn wondered what she did to deserve this. She knew that whatever feelings she felt for Vi were increasing tenfold, festering in her gut like a tumour. If she spoke she would risk it all spilling out like oil into ocean water.

Thankfully, Vi didn’t seem to want to chat either, her gaze focused on the road ahead and her teeth too busy biting the skin of her lower lip.

Once they were at the hospital it was a relatively quick affair. Vi sat in the waiting room for Caitlyn, alternating between texting Jinx and playing a game on her phone.

Caitlyn tried her best to blink through the rest of the doctor’s sermon as he explained that she had just twisted her ankle. He said something about elevating her foot and no physical exertion for a few weeks. At least that’s what she thought. She was doing her best not to catch herself drowning in the sea of memories.

After the attack she had spent a few days in the hospital, perhaps a week, she wasn’t sure. Her father spent his time doting over her, his worry seeping into his blue hair and turning it to ashy grey.

Caitlyn had spent hazy moments, blinking through the grogginess of pain relievers to see various nurses with kind faces. They almost had her fitted with a feeding tube for those first few days since the carcass where her stomach used to be never felt an ounce of hunger. Still, despite her resistance, the kind faces encouraged her to eat little helpings of the bland hospital food.

A man with long grey hair and a pimple on his eyebrow told Caitlyn that she would never regain her vision in her left eye. The damage was too severe. Caitlyn said nothing. Nothing.

She occupied a space of nothing during those days in the hospital and she didn’t like to be reminded of it.

It was all the same. Caitlyn said nothing. The doctor told her to rest easy. She left with papers in her hand and her ass in a wheelchair.

Except this time, she had a pink-haired and heavily tattooed self-defence instructor with her.

“Where is home? I can drop you off there and call an Uber for myself.” Vi said after getting Caitlyn settled in the front seat. She waved her phone around with the Maps app opened.

Caitlyn wordlessly grabbed it from her, typing in her home address. If Vi’s eyebrows raised at the address or the neighbourhood the navigation app showed, then she didn’t pay any mind to it.

Caitlyn leaned her head against the window, her mind rattling against the glass as Vi drove.

“I wanted to apologise if I seemed cold, earlier.” Vi cleared her throat, and her voice sounded like it was being throttled by awkwardness.

Caitlyn tilted her head, her pupil briefly dancing over the large ‘VI’ tattoo on the woman’s cheek. She didn’t say anything, she couldn’t really.

Vi’s hands fidgeted on the steering wheel, icy blue trained to the road so that it may never cross paths with the deep ocean in Caitlyn’s eye.

“I should’ve been watching more carefully earlier. If I did, you wouldn’t have hurt yourself.”

Caitlyn sighed. Those words weren’t uncommon for her. Jayce was often wracked with guilt, as were her superior officers. ‘If we acted quicker, it would’ve never happened.’

“Not your fault, Vi,” Caitlyn said softly, resting her forehead back against the glass. She knew her tone wasn’t convincing, but she was tired. The memories of the attack and the hospital stay thereafter, left her washed ashore.

She caught Vi looking at her, studying her openly. Caitlyn didn’t have it in herself to care at that moment. She just wanted to hole herself up in her house and to never leave it ever again.

Vi turned into the main road leading to Caitlyn’s neighbourhood. Her thumbs tapped the top of the steering wheel.

“I… was surprised that you were an Enforcer.” Vi took up as little space as possible with her admission. Caitlyn perked a brow at her.

“See, um… my parents were killed by Enforcers. So I just… I’m sorry…”

It was Caitlyn’s turn to stare at Vi. Vi always carried herself with confidence and charisma, and at that moment, Caitlyn softened at the way Vi seemed to be avoiding her gaze.

“I’m so sorry…” Caitlyn whispered, staring at the way Vi’s light blue eyes flickered slightly.

“It’s fine. It’s fine. Truth be told, I’ve always hated Enforcers. It’s just a Zaun thing, I suppose. Even before they killed my parents.”

Caitlyn chewed her bottom lip, returning her gaze to her lap where her hands laid. She shifted her injured foot in the footwell.

“I joined because I thought I could change it all…” Caitlyn offered, truth spilling from her mouth. “You might know this but my mother was a councillor. Our family comes from old money and, well… I thought I could do something good.”

She laughed bitterly, her index finger pressing into her thumb nail. “Now… I don’t think that will ever happen.”

She was yet to come to peace with the fact that her marksmanship, the only thing she was ever really truly proud of, was something she could never fully partake in again. No one wants a one-eyed Enforcer running around with a gun. She hadn’t even touched her rifle collection since she lost her eye.

She truly believed she could, somehow, singlehandledly, change how Enforcers were perceived and how they operated. She thought she could wash away the blood on the institution’s hands. What an idealistic way to live.

Vi turned to her then, just for a moment, to meet Caitlyn’s gaze, before turning back to the road. Caitlyn’s apartment building was on the left.

“I’m sorry.” Caitlyn found herself speaking, knowing that two little words would never change Vi’s reality.

“I’m sorry, too,” Vi replied. Those two little words were all they had.

—--

Vi gave her number to Caitlyn. Just in case.

Caitlyn treated it like a bar of gold.

She was close to becoming what she once was before started attending Vi’s classes. She hobbled around her spacious apartment, watching TV shows and movies that ranged from cerebral to trashy. She ordered her groceries through an app and started neglecting her own personal care.

With her twisted ankle showering was hard enough and she had to sit on the floor for the first few days. She would manage to wash her body but abandoned her hair for a messy, greasy bun on top of her head. She was dreading the day when she would actually have the energy to wash it, knowing the matted mess would leave her with a migraine for the rest of the day.

Her last conversation with Vi haunted her. The images of a dark Piltovian avenue faded into the deepest corners of Zaun as she imagined a smaller Vi stumbling upon her dead parents at the hands of those sworn to protect.

At night when she slept the memories and images whirled together and left her sweating. She was slipping back into the dark hole she buried herself in long ago.

Jayce was away but kept texting her to check up on her, even though they both knew the answer. Still, he never pushed too hard and she never gave him any more indication to be worried about her than he usually was. He deserved a break from her, anyway.

It was on Saturday night, when she was nursing a glass of red wine, replaying a sitcom she watched years ago when her phone lit up with a new text message. She was expecting it to be Jayce doing his nightly check-in but was surprised to see the two-letter name of the woman that lingered on her mind for the past week.

Vi:

hi caitlyn. it’s Vi. missed you at class today. how are you doing?

Caitlyn set the glass down, a laugh track from the TV pulling away her attention for a moment. It was sweet for Vi to check up on her.

Caitlyn:

Hi Vi. I’m doing alright, thank you for checking in. How are you doing? I will hopefully be able to come back to class soon.

It didn’t surprise Caitlyn when she saw text bubbles form in almost immediate response to her message, but the warm feeling in her chest did surprise her. Perhaps, it was the wine.

Vi:

i’m doing good. and sorry for not checking in on you earlier, i just wanted to give you some space.

how is the ankle doing?

Caitlyn:

No, it’s alright. The fact that you thought about me is endearing enough.

The ankle is fine, and healing up alright. How was the class today?

Caitlyn noticed that Vi had been typing for a while after her messages, the bubbles disappearing and reappearing.

Vi:

class was alright. Mel asked about you. she wanted to text you to ask if she could come visit with Elora and Gert but i figured you wouldn’t want visitors at this time? idk if that was the right call.

Vi was more observant than Caitlyn thought. She appreciated it more than Vi would ever know. Vi, however, was still typing, and taking aeons at that.

Vi:

and i’ve been thinking about you a lot lately.

Caitlyn felt the festering feeling again. A warm and painful one nestling itself in her lower abdomen. The wine amplified it, her face flushing in tandem with her chest.

She finally understood it for what it was. It was arousal and it wreaked carnage over the synapses in Caitlyn’s brain.

It terrified her to no end. This wasn’t something she wanted to feel, but it ravaged her body anyway. All because Vi said she was thinking about her.

Her fingers found their own rhythm and she barely had any chance to think before she hit send.

Caitlyn:

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t thinking about you, too.

It was a small admission. Its vagueness sat in the fog of attraction and concern. If Vi simply meant it in a friendly way, she could easily correct herself.

Caitlyn had crushes before, back when she was young enough to still call them crushes anyway. Before the incident, she was well-versed in the ins and outs of flirting. A head tilt there, a suggestive text there, and lingering touches were enough to get her by.

But after the incident, it was like all of her years of experience had evaporated. Her therapist had told her it was normal, everything was always ‘normal’ to Dr Heimerdinger because that was his job. To tell her that she was normal, that she was safe, and that she wasn’t in danger. That she needed to work through what happened to her and that came with crippling depressive episodes and post-traumatic stress disorder. She hadn’t seen him in two months.

She thought about Jayce’s words, encouraging her to come out of her shell. She thought about the big pockets of loneliness in her apartment where she would nestle herself. She thought about Vi’s warm hands on her back and on her knee. She thought of Mel, Elora and Gert, and how they genuinely cared about her.

As her thoughts swirled, Vi replied and she bit her lip. Her eyes closed for a moment.

Vi:

oh thank god. i thought i made an ass of myself and i’d have to dye my hair and change my name.

Caitlyn giggled. It was sweet, melodic, and bubbling with honey. She didn’t know she was still capable of that.

Vi was being sweet. Vi just was sweet. Beneath her hard-muscled and tattooed exterior, Vi’s sweetness unravelled slowly, and Caitlyn was delighted to watch the slow reveal. To lap it up and drink it in gratefully.

Caitlyn:

You’re sweet.

Never took you for the nervous type.

Vi:

i’m not, usually. But for some reason, you make me nervous. very dangerous.

Caitlyn:

I’ll be more dangerous when I can throw you over my shoulder.

She was proud of herself for that one. She had forgotten how good she was at this. It felt natural and smooth.

Vi:

you’re so obsessed with that idea.

you’re lucky your ankle’s busted because i would’ve used you for the example today if i could have.

Caitlyn:

You’d really throw me to the floor?

Vi:

i’d do it as softly as i can.

—---

Vi encapsulated it for her perfectly.

Vi was soft and sweet, hard and strong, her energy exhilarating and calming. Vi was the sweet contradiction wrapped in tattoos and a deep pink mullet that Caitlyn never knew she needed in her life.

Ever since Saturday night had passed, they had been texting on and off. Caitlyn would ask Vi how her day went and Vi would ask Caitlyn about what she got up to that day. Vi would always treat Caitlyn’s mundane days in her home as interesting, and never judged her for her brief regression into seclusion. She would, however, encourage Caitlyn to get better quickly so that she could at least attend the next class on Saturday.

Caitlyn would quip back and say that even if she did make her way to the class, she wouldn’t be able to do much. Vi assured her that even if Caitlyn sat on a chair in the corner of the room it would be beneficial for her to watch in any case. So Caitlyn attended, sitting in the corner trying to pay attention.

Mel and Elora gave her long hugs at the beginning, stating that they missed her last week. It was strangely good to feel missed by a group of people she barely knew.

She paid attention, not to the class but to the woman who led it with an encouraging smile and a warm voice. Vi made it abundantly clear that she was aware of Caitlyn’s flattering observance. If Caitlyn saw correctly, she noticed how Vi would flex her biceps even more. How Vi would toss her electric blue gaze to her, sometimes winking and sometimes smirking.

Caitlyn made peace with whatever this was, just so long as Vi kept looking at her, and kept biting her lip as she demonstrated. There was a point where she had adjusted Mel’s hips with her hands, correcting her stance, and Caitlyn bit her lip without much thought.

A part of her ached, deep inside the malignant recesses of her belly, for Vi’s gentle touch on her body once more. It seemed as if the pit in her stomach had been decimated and burnt, and in its wake seeds of violets were planted, curling around her hips and tickling between her legs. The ache felt foreign but it did not terrify her.

Caitlyn found her mind wandering as the group started to move on to more advanced manuvres. Before the attack, she could see herself going home with someone like Vi. She could see them slowly wooing each other until one of them had enough and crossed the line between them. The thought of Vi’s lips on her nearly made her cry, her waterline glistening with mistiness.

Now, all she was left with is after, at the rubble she had to wade through to find herself again. The fact that Vi’s hypothetical kiss could turn her into an emotional mess proved to her that she was still fractured. If Vi had any hope of a relationship with her, the instructor might as well go to an animal shelter to adopt a traumatised cat that would be less trouble than Caitlyn would be.

“Hey, how are we doing over here?” Vi asked, bypassing everyone who wanted to have a quick chat with her in favour of kneeling in front of Caitlyn while she wiped the sweat off her brow.

Caitlyn was pulled out of the rubble into pools of periwinkle, which shone with her reflection. “Good. Learnt a lot.”

Vi made an amused sound, leaning her arm on Caitlyn’s unharmed knee. “I’m sure. Considering how much staring you did back here.” This woman was clearly trying to kill her.

The contact made Caitlyn’s core clench and pure shame blazed in her stomach. Vi’s touch had an increasingly alarming effect on her.

The last time Vi had touched her had been when her ankle was freshly twisted, with a canyon of cold between them. Now, after a week of regular texting, the canyon had sealed itself, and the warmth of their closeness only burnt brighter.

It burnt so bright that Vi’s full hand on her knee, her long fingers practically holding the bones together otherwise they’d melt into the vinyl flooring, sent her reeling. She wanted to run from it, to let herself be reminded of what she was now.

But by Gods, Vi was beautiful. Vi was warm. Vi smelt like musk and cinnamon. Vi smiled on the left side of her face. Vi’s voice was warm and rasping around the edges. Vi was good.

Vi was safe.

“To be honest,” Vi’s gaze drifted off to somewhere to the side of Caitlyn. Caitlyn decided not to follow it, unashamedly taking in the way Vi’s sweaty ends of her hair stuck to her forehead. “I was staring, too.”

Caitlyn smirked, ignoring the curious looks coming from Mel, Elora, and Gert as they not-so-subtly kept glancing her way. “At yourself?”

Vi used her thumb and middle finger to click at Caitlyn’s knee, earning a chuckle from the taller woman.

“No, at this pretty, tall woman who I can’t seem to stop looking at.”

The way Caitlyn bit her lip couldn’t be helped, further poking the blaze between them. “She must be lucky.”

Vi removed her hand from Caitlyn’s thigh, her thighs flexing through her shorts as she stood up. Caitlyn pretended like the separation didn’t make her want to whine. She blamed it on her dysregulated nervous system.

“Well, I’d be luckier if she’d go out on a date with me.” Vi placed both of her hands on her hips, the way her arms flexed had Caitlyn immediately drunk on the sight.

Vi’s flirtation was seamless and Caitlyn wished she could meet her at the same level. The fact that Vi wanted to take her out, and talk to her outside of the studio under the pretence of a date made the anxiety she thought she pushed away come back to her throat.

“Where would you take her?” Caitlyn swallowed, looking up at Vi from her position on the chair. In the background, the rest of the class started to filter out slowly. She could see Mel and Gert pulling Elora out, the shorter woman hissing and pretending like she was not eavesdropping on their conversation.

“A nice spot I know. It’s uh… it might be a little less ideal for your Piltie tastes, though…” Vi momentarily lapsed into shyness, before correcting herself. “Her Piltie tastes, I mean.”

Caitlyn chuckled and seeing Vi adorably and so obviously anxious made her reach out, grasping the warm and wrapped hands of the muscular instructor.

It took Vi by surprise, those pools of seafoam delighting in the initiated contact as Caitlyn pulled her a little closer.

Caitlyn stared up at her, letting her thumb stroke along Vi’s knuckles. She could almost see herself in the exact position, except under the cover of night, on her knees and bare, pleasing Vi.

Almost.

“I would appreciate anywhere you’d have me, Vi.”

Vi smiled, proud and shy all in the same. Caitlyn found herself smiling too.

—-----

Caitlyn practically couldn’t breathe in the cold air of her bathroom. She had cycled through the five stages of grief and was currently applying the last of her mascara. She went for a simple look, knowing that she would somehow end up sweating off the foundation just from the sight of Vi alone.

Jayce practically jumped into the air and joyfully clicked his heels when Caitlyn told him about the date. His excitement and her anxiety made it an eventful few days leading up to the infamous date. Jayce had helped her narrow it down to three different outfits, depending on the ‘mood’ she was in before she left.

One was a strappier, form-fitting black dress that hugged her hips and displayed her blessed curves. Another outfit was a pair of looser-fitting black pants that hugged her hips and backside, paired with a sheer long-sleeve top that she would wear a black camisole under. The last one was the calmest out of all of them. A simple pair of shapeless dark pants that flared at her ankles, and a long-sleeve navy turtle neck that she could accessorise with jewellery and bracelets if she wanted to.

She opted for the last option, practically dousing herself in deodorant, roll-on and perfume before adorning a simple silver necklace. She let her hair fall effortlessly around her face, her eyepatch actually pulling in the entire outfit together better than she would’ve thought. She loved the simplicity of it, knowing that the restaurant Vi would be taking her to wouldn’t be too fancy to begin with.

As she shifted her eyepatch once more, her phone dinged with a text message from Vi. She felt her heart fall through her stomach, crashing to the floor and scurrying away into a dark little corner as she picked up the phone.

Vi:

your chariot awaits, Cupcake.

Caitlyn would’ve rolled her eyes if she hadn’t felt the back of her knees start to sweat. She took one more look at herself in the mirror, her heart thudding in her ears.

Vi was safe. This was normal. This was good.

—---

Caitlyn was glad that she decided to go with the turtleneck, since the restaurant Vi took her to was in the heart of Zaun. The table Vi led them to was situated outside, on top of a cobblestone path with an ashtray in the middle of the table. Vi’s face was the same colour as her hair the entire time. Caitlyn found it amusing, for once the tables had been turned.

“I’m sorry this isn’t… like really fancy or anything.” Vi apologised sheepishly as she pulled a chair out for Caitlyn, gesturing for the taller woman to sit.

Once Caitlyn was seated and could see how Vi was nervously picking at her cuticles, she reached over and wrapped her hand around the Zaunite’s long fingers, squeezing softly.

“Vi… calm down. I love this place.” Caitlyn assured her with a soft smile. “I’ve spent most of my life going to fancy restaurants, but nothing beats something as… intimate as this.” Caitlyn gestured around her.

People mulled by as they sat, and there was faint chatter in the air. It was laid back and casual, something that wasn’t prim and proper at all. It was exactly what she needed.

Vi laughed, her tension leaving with her exhalation. “Sure, yeah. Okay. Thanks, Cupcake.”

They both laughed, and Caitlyn took a long look at Vi whose eyes only shone brighter and brighter in the evening light, the street lamps and ambient lighting bouncing off her pale skin and powder blue eyes.

Vi wore an off-white body suit with a pair of what Caitlyn assumed to be her best jeans. The body suit allowed for a peek of skin just above the hem of her pants, and her arms proudly flexed as she moved around. Her longer pieces of hair from her mullet cascaded down her back and Caitlyn couldn’t help but admire how soft the woman’s hair looked. It somehow always looked impeccable.

“You call me Cupcake a lot,” Caitlyn stated while her eyes trailed down Vi’s outstretched arm on the table. It had remained there even after Caitlyn had removed her hand from the instructor’s grasp.

“Do I?” Vi perked a teasing brow, following Caitlyn’s gaze down to her arm. She moved her arm, her head sitting in her palm as she leaned on her elbow.

“Yes, you do. Why?” Caitlyn found herself mirroring Vi in her own way, her palm folding against the side of her head as leaned into the space between them.

Vi thought for a moment, pressing her lips together. “Cause you’re sweet.”

Caitlyn let out an amused breath, “You only just got to know me.”

Vi smirked at her, a challenge dancing in her pupils. “I’m pretty sure I’d still find you sweet.”

Caitlyn blushed, averting her gaze to the wooden table between them. The disgust was there, lingering around the corner of the restaurant, peering into their little slice of life and waiting to wreak havoc. Vi barely knew her, and when she did get to know her, she’d find that Caitlyn was not sweet. Caitlyn was rotted to the core, worms and maggots infesting her insides and clawing their way through her body slowly. An infestation that only grew and grew behind closed doors.

A large man with an overly friendly smile came to their table and silently gave them both menus. He greeted Vi and Vi smiled in return, ordering her “usual,” while Caitlyn scanned the options. The waiter left and Caitlyn was thankfully left to another task that didn’t involve thinking of herself in much detail.

“Jericho’s has the best seafood in Zaun. At least, I think so.” Vi supplied, noticing the way Caitlyn seemed paralysed in indecision.

Caitlyn hummed, mulling her options before deciding on a simple hake and chips. This was a casual date anyway, there was no pressure to impress, just to simply eat food and learn more about one another. Vi made her feel like she didn’t have to perform, not in the way a Kiramman is supposed to anyway.

When she placed her menu back down, she saw Vi nervously picking at her fingers and she wanted to reach over once more to cease Vi’s timid ticks.

“Can I ask you a question?” Vi peered at her through her eyebrows, her head turned downwards slightly.

Caitlyn braced for impact, hoping she wouldn’t have to delve too deep into her past and spill her guts out to a woman she deeply craved. “Go on.”

“Why did you become an Enforcer?”

The question made her ease up and tense all in the same breath, her one eye widening slightly.

“I… I always liked solving mysteries I suppose. I can become… obsessed with things. To a concerning degree. And I genuinely believed I could do good, that I could change the Enforcer's reputation for good. I had… plans to change it all.” She was grateful in that moment that she only had one visible eye at that moment, wiping away at some of the mist forming over her lower eyelashes. She disguised the motion as a small scratch on the back of her thumb.

“I was naive.”

Vi had actual sympathy on her face, an understanding mixed with frustration that Caitlyn definitely did not deserve. “I don’t think you were…” she said quietly, and the blue in her eyes reminded Caitlyn of a mirror

Caitlyn conceded, shaking her head with a dismissive wave. “All in the past now.”

“Don’t say that, you could always get back in there.” Vi offered, and Caitlyn couldn’t help her surprise.

“This is… not where I expected the conversation to go, Vi.”

Vi laughed and Caitlyn drank up the honey-soaked sound in her palms, lapping at it like a dog.

“Look… as much as I will always hate Enforcers, I can see that you genuinely care and want to make the world better. A lot of people our age would’ve given up on that by now.” Vi explained and Caitlyn’s heart sank.

Caitlyn did give up. She hasn’t picked up a rifle since the incident, not even to clean them. She hadn’t even thought about possibly returning to the Enforcers to work at a desk for the rest of her life. She ignored her father’s suggestions about working security for one of her mother’s old work colleagues, where she would take up a ceremonial position.

She didn’t mention it to Vi, letting the part of her that was slowly withering away gather more dust in the recesses of her mind.

“And what about you? What made you start teaching self-defence classes?” Caitlyn asked, spotting the man from earlier rounding their table.

They paused their conversation and ordered their drinks and food, the man smiling graciously at the both of them and bounding back into the restaurant.

“So… I should get this out of the way now.” Vi clarified with an open palm. “I’ve been to prison. Juvie and then prison for the big girls.”

Caitlyn wished she could’ve schooled her expression, but she was thankful Vi wasn’t too serious about her raised eyebrow and continued speaking. “I got arrested when I was fifteen for aggravated assault. Powder and our close friends were attempting to rob this house. I got caught and I tried to fight my way out”

Caitlyn could only listen, imagining a younger Vi with a fuller face and smaller body being carted off like a hardened criminal. The image made her heart splinter.

“I was there for about six years. I got out last year.” Vi glossed over the gory details of what her imprisonment must’ve been like. It didn’t stop Caitlyn’s mind from wandering.

“So, I found Powder. This tall, lanky girl in the place of my scared little sister,” Vi cracked a smile as she spoke of her sister. “And Vander, my adoptive dad, scrounged up enough money to partner with my Uncle Benzo and his kid to build Oil and Water. It was… inspiring.”

While Vi spoke about her family’s accomplishments with pride and joy, there was an underlying blanket of sadness that Caitlyn could not miss. Icy blue flickered to the table between them, her fingers picking her nails.

“But the self-defence classes?” Caitlyn probed, hoping to lift Vi out of the sea she was going to drown herself in.

“Oh! Yeah,” Vi perked up again, the sadness drying up in place of the warmth of the woman’s smile. “I learned pretty quickly how to throw a punch and defend myself in prison. I built up a lot of muscle because I needed routine and I’ve always liked boxing. When I got out, Powder actually suggested it. And I loved the idea.”

As Vi went on, laying her story out for Caitlyn to marvel at, the passion Vi exuded for protecting others was undeniable. Undeniably attractive, too.

“Boxing?” Caitlyn raised her brow, ingesting the wide grin on Vi’s face.

The same waiter from earlier finally returned, bringing both of their drinks on one tray and their dishes on another, balancing them both like it was the easiest thing in the world. Once they were left with their food and drink, Vi picked up immediately, excitement creeping over her nonchalant demeanour.

“I started boxing around ten, before then I was always punching my way through life,” Vi explained, taking an onion ring from her plate and dipping it into the hot sauce she ordered. “I still practice when I have time, but I don’t do pitfighting anymore.”

“You just keep getting more and more interesting as the night goes on,” Caitlyn mentioned, placing a ladylike hand over her mouth as she chewed on her fish. It was spicier than she expected it to be and she appreciated the flavour

Vi smirked, popping another onion ring in her mouth before she grabbed a piece of salmon with her hands. “What about you? What’s interesting about you?”

Caitlyn chuckled, focusing on cutting another piece of fish with the plastic knife and fork she was given. “Um… well I used to be a marksman. I won a lot of competitions and I would regularly compete.”

Vi’s interest was peaked, with her cheeks full of food and sauce dripping down her chin that Caitlyn wanted to lean over and wipe off with her thumb. “Damn… so you don’t do it anymore I’m assuming?”

Caitlyn shook her head sadly, forking another bite of hake into her mouth. “Can’t really shoot with one eye.”

Caitlyn hated how miserable she sounded. She had never been one to take pity on herself, always pushing through whatever came her way. The way she pushed through, however, was to work herself to the bone, to stare down the spyglass and hit the target.

Now she had nothing to fall back on, no escape. No compass. Nothing to fall into but the abyss.

“You sound like you’ve given up,” Vi mused, a tinge of sympathy in her tone.

Caitlyn bristled. “No. I haven’t. There are just things I can’t do anymore.”

“Like leaving your house?” Vi quipped. From her tone and the sly smile on her lips, Caitlyn knew that she meant it jokingly. Vi was about as active as someone could be, and someone like her probably couldn’t understand the current stagnation Caitlyn was in.

Still, though Vi had meant it as nothing more than a harmless joke, Caitlyn felt the words strike a nerve inside of her. She bit her tongue, trying to quell the swirling and bubbling acid boiling up her throat.

Vi must have noticed the hardness on Caitlyn’s face, her stunning features falling into stark concern and embarrassment.

“I didn’t mean it like that, I was just–”

“It’s fine.” Caitlyn quickly cut her off, shovelling an unceremoniously messy forkful of fries into her mouth.

She hated that this side of herself made an appearance when she was with Vi, hated that this was a side of herself at all. She used to be able to control her anger and let it out constructively, but now all she can do is become irritable and inflamed like the wound over her left eye.

They fell into a heavy silence, both picking at their plates. Caitlyn wondered if Vi would want to call the date short after this. She wouldn’t blame her at all.

“I’m sorry…” Caitlyn sighed, placing her fork and knife across each other over her plate. She had only eaten half of her hake and fries. “I didn’t mean to get snappy, I just….”

“You don’t need to apologise for anything, Cait. I was out of line. I’m the one who’s sorry.”

Caitlyn despised the way both of her eyes began to water, revolted at how easy it was for her to cry in front of Vi. Her throat closed up at Vi’s kind words, feeling utterly humiliated. She was crying in a dingy restaurant in the heart of Zaun with a beautiful woman who was way too understanding of her.

“Gods, sorry…” Caitlyn chuckled, reaching for a napkin and dapping at her eye. She lifted the edge of her eyepatch to wipe some of the moisture that was starting to accumulate there. Vi didn’t peer at her mottled eyelid and kept staring at Caitlyn’s unfinished plate with an awkward smile.

“Listen, um… I know it might be too soon to get into all the nitty gritty aspects of our lives…” Vi trailed off, handing another napkin to Caitlyn so that she could wipe at her nose. “But, for what it’s worth, I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs.”

Caitlyn smiled sheepishly, crumpling both of the napkins in one of her palms. “Does this happen to you often? Girls crying on the first date?”

Vi snickered, shaking her head. “No. But there’s a first time for everything. And… you’re not just any girl.”

Caitlyn bit her lip, utterly floored at how Vi was still somehow attracted to her even after getting choked up.

“You’re just saying that. How many girls have you told that same thing to?” Caitlyn teased, feeling the air between them get a bit lighter.

Vi reached over to swat at one of her hands, and Caitlyn giggled at the contact. “I don’t take many girls to the hospital and help her get patched up just because I can, you know.”

Caitlyn hummed, leaning her head on her palm. “You were very nice for that.”

Vi shrugged, her shoulders bobbing up and down like the gesture meant nothing. “Kinda glad it happened or we wouldn’t be here.”

Caitlyn scoffed with a smile, “You wanted me to twist my ankle just so you could get my number?”

Vi held her hands up in surrender, “Hey, I didn’t want you to get injured but at least I got your number.”

Caitlyn was intrigued, leaning over slightly as she crossed her arms in front of her. “If I didn’t mess up my ankle, how else would you have gone about it?”

Vi sighed and leaned back in her chair, and Caitlyn’s gaze flickered to the instructor’s delicious upper arms. It was like Vi was doing it on purpose.

“Probably just… slowly worked up to it, I guess.”

Caitlyn swallowed Vi’s words, letting them coat her tongue. She could do slow.

“Could we do it slow… still?” Caitlyn asked meekly, tracing her index fingernail over the table.

Vi smiled like a Cheshire cat, “So I got a second date?”

Caitlyn laughed, staring at Vi longingly, chasing the canorous sound. “You can get as many as you wish, Vi.”

Vi’s powder blue eyes practically glittered in the ambient light. “Is it bad that I don’t want this to end?”

Caitlyn felt a different kind of simmering in her stomach, a fluttering that overtook the revolting disgust in her belly. And God, did it feel good. Her nervous system wasn’t what it used to be.

“I don’t want it to either.”

Caitlyn was more than okay with this. More okay with anything than she had been in a long time.

Vi was safe. Vi was kind. Vi was warm.

—----

Caitlyn felt the world slip away through her fingertips as Vi drove her back to her apartment. The windows were down in Vi’s car, the night air filled with smog and a smell Caitlyn’s nose couldn’t quite identify filtered through the car mixing with Vi’s car air freshener. Her hair blew in the wind, and she had to hold a hand over the crown of her head to keep it from constantly flying over her face. Vi’s playlists were playing softly, the songs barely audible through the rush of wind in her ears.

Vi looked pristine, sitting at the wheel as the longer strands of her mullet blew in the wind behind her. Caitlyn wished she could take a picture of the instructor, a happy grin on the woman’s face as she drove.

Caitlyn felt like she was in university again, sneaking away after hours to go to a pretty girl’s house, except this pretty girl was simply dropping her off at home. Vi had a way of making her feel giddy and fearless, a way of making her feel as if there was a chance to be anything other than a husk of a person.

When they finally made it outside of Caitlyn’s apartment, Vi insisted on walking her up, ever the gentleman. Caitlyn didn’t exactly mind but she felt her face starting to grow hot. Whenever she herself used to pull this move she would almost always end up kissing the girl goodnight, followed by a long night of amorous activity.

Vi was warm. Vi was safe. She had to remember that.

As they made it up to her floor, Caitlyn shakily retrieved her keys from her small purse.

“This one’s mine,” Caitlyn gestured to the singular door in front of them. Vi seemed shocked that apartment buildings existed with singular, large apartments on each floor.

Vi shoved her hands in her jeans pocket while Caitlyn cleared her throat and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.

“I just–”

“Thanks for–”

They both laughed, the sound echoing slightly in the small entryway.

Caitlyn’s height allowed her to peer down at Vi, her breath catching at the way the woman stared at her through her long lashes. The instructor stepped closer until all Caitlyn could smell was Vi’s musk.

“Can I kiss you, Cait?” The whispered question floated between the two of them.

Caitlyn swallowed, the disgust hid behind the door to her apartment, dripping acid onto the floor. But she was in the entryway, drinking in Vi’s freckled face and thick eyebrows. She was safe here.

She nodded wordlessly.

It happened slowly.

Vi stepped forward, her warm hand gently cupping Caitlyn just under her jaw, her thumb stroking against her cheekbone. In the cold light of the entryway, Vi’s eyes almost looked white, clear and intense with hunger.

Vi’s lips tasted like the sauce she had at Jerichos, spicy and overpowering with the taste of sweetness behind it all. Caitlyn let out a shaky breath through her nostrils, the air tickling Vi’s cheek. It was chaste at first, barely scratching the surface of anything. It was so gentle that Caitlyn thought she would melt right into Vi’s fingers, which were still gently caressing her cheekbone.

Vi pulled away, but Caitlyn felt something in her gut that told her to pull Vi back in. It was greed.

She pulled the instructor back in by the fabric of her body suit, Vi letting out a surprised moan followed by a chuckle against Caitlyn’s lips.

Caitlyn lapped up Vi’s kisses like melting vanilla ice cream on a hot day, sucking the woman’s bottom lip slightly. She didn’t care if she was being greedy, she didn’t care about the way her eyepatch was probably rubbing against Vi’s face in an uncomfortable way.

Vi kissed her, just to kiss her, keeping her one hand steady on Caitlyn’s hip while the other trailed to her shoulder. They didn’t go any further, just kept drinking each other in until Caitlyn’s back came into contact with her front door.

It jolted the both of them, Caitlyn yelping and pulling away while Vi removed both of her hands to wipe at her lips. Caitlyn never realised how cold she was without Vi to keep her warm.

Vi was the first to laugh like two teenagers sneaking away to the library to make out. It was simple, it was so sickeningly sweet that Caitlyn wished she could give Vi more.

But Vi was safe and warm, with cinnamon on her morning pancakes, and gentle hands that held her together.

The disgust ran away with its tail tucked in between its legs, like a black dog being banished into the shadows.

—------

Caitlyn learnt very quickly that kissing Vi was addictive.

They were on Caitlyn’s couch, the film they watched long forgotten in favour of a long makeout session. Every time they separated their lips for a moment, it would be followed by a wet squelch and sighs.

Caitlyn’s legs were strewn across Vi’s lap, her back to the armrest of her leather couch while Vi was tilted slightly, caressing the spot at the juncture of the taller woman’s jaw that made her lose all focus.

They had done this many times ever since their first kiss in Caitlyn’s hallway. In the span of two months, their time spent together had increased tenfold. Jayce was over the moon for her, ecstatic even. Especially since Vi was the reason Caitlyn started leaving her house more and more, whether it be for another date or just to leave for the sake of leaving.

It seemed like she had grown a few inches, her confidence now coming back to her slowly. The disgust still showed itself, behind closed doors and under the soft fabric of her eyepatch, but she was able to scare it off. It was almost too good to be true, too simple and sweet for everything to be slowly falling into its place as it did.

She was eating well, going to the gym, working on getting her Private Investigator’s license and kissing a beautiful woman almost every night of the week. She started seeing Dr Heimerdinger again and though the man sometimes bored her to death with his unwavering patience and understanding, she learnt to appreciate the safe space he provided and started to actively engage with her healing.

She was safely away from the edge of the abyss, walking hand in hand with Vi with mirth and naive avoidance.

That was until the ground beneath her shook, a fissure splitting open beneath her feet. She went tumbling down, her body flopping and floundering against the jagged edges as it tore open new and old wounds.

Vi was kissing her neck, nibbling softly at the skin that made her involuntarily arch. She had her hands clinging to Vi’s bicep, her nails shy of scraping red marks into the pale, tattooed skin. Everything was warm and safe until she felt Vi’s other hand land on top of her thigh.

Ice spread through her entire body, her muscles freezing and her hands clawing at Vi’s hand before she even gained awareness of what was happening.

She had wrenched herself out of Vi’s grip, tumbling to the floor unceremoniously. It felt like her windpipe had been swollen shut and like she was breathing through a straw, her entire body breaking out into a sweat that made dampness cling to her clothing. Her head felt filled with cotton, stuffing her ears in a deafening ring while her mouth hung open.

From somewhere, she couldn’t tell the general direction, Vi was at her side, concern leaking out of her voice. Caitlyn couldn’t hear her, couldn’t see her. Her eye could only focus on the fluff of her rug, as she felt acid pour down her face.

She felt something solid against her hunched-over back, and she truly felt revolting with her clothes sticking to her sweaty skin and the world crumbling beneath her fingertips.

She didn’t know how long it took for her to come back to her body, to crawl and dig her way out of the fissure inside of herself. It felt like hours before she could move her hand, the reddened indentation of the carpet leaving its mark on her palms.

Vi had stayed through it all, on her knees beside Caitlyn, the hand on her back never leaving. It burnt a hole through Caitlyn’s clothing, singing the flesh at her upper back. She couldn’t tell if she wanted to chase it or scramble away from it.

“Cait? Can you hear me?” Vi was worried.

Vi was worried because she lost her nerve and ended up on the floor of her living room. Caitlyn had taken Vi’s warmth and sweetness, chewed it, and spat it back onto the floor.

“Sorry.” Caitlyn quickly rasped, unable to look at Vi’s face from the shame coursing through her body. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no. Don’t apologise, okay? I’m just glad you’re back with me, now.” Vi’s voice was so pleasant and so soothing and Caitlyn wondered how this must’ve come easy for the woman.

Vi did not need Caitlyn to crack apart and shatter all over the living room floor. Did not need the mess that Caitlyn was secretly hiding under the rug and beating back with a stick.

“Wanna’ get back on the couch? Can’t be too comfortable here.” Vi asked the question but left little room for Caitlyn to disagree.

There was a gentle but firm nudge at her side, and she was further humiliated at how Vi was all but carrying her to the couch.

Caitlyn still couldn’t look at Vi. She knew what was on the woman’s face and she could not stand the idea of Vi being kind to her when she did not deserve it.

Calloused hands brushed against her temple, wiping away slightly damp strands of dark blue hair.

“I’m sorry that I crossed a line. I won’t do that again.” Vi apologised quietly, her seafoam eyes boring into the side of Caitlyn’s face.

Caitlyn chanced a look at her, seeing nothing but warmth and guilt warping her delicately strong features.

“It’s okay…” Caitlyn whispered, biting her lip and looking to Vi’s lap where her legs should’ve been. Instead, her knees were red with carpet burn. “Really. It’s not your fault, Vi.”

Vi nodded, inviting Caitlyn to lean into her. Caitlyn would be a fool to refuse.

She pressed her head into Vi’s chest, nuzzling the fabric of the woman’s grey t-shirt. She always loved the way Vi smelt so alive and sweet, a juxtaposition to the way she carried herself.

“Can I do anything?” Vi asked, her voice so tender and placid that Caitlyn’s eyes flared up again with the saltiness.

Caitlyn shook her head, biting her lip to keep herself from losing it all over again. Vi only pulled her in tighter, pressing a gentle kiss to the crown of Caitlyn’s head.

Being in Vi’s arms felt like being a lifeboat in a stormy sea. There was something to cling to, something to assure you that you were safe.

The safety, security, and kindness made the fissures in her chest a little less dark and dank. A little less lonely.

“I want to… go further with you. I want to do that with you.” Caitlyn confessed, her fingers tracing the edge of Vi’s short sleeves. “I want that so badly…” She couldn’t help the way her voice cracked. The lump in her throat made it seem like it was all so new and raw.

She felt like she had just come home from the hospital, having been propped open and examined like she was a piece of flesh. She continued being a piece of flesh in her home, rotting away and letting maggots consume her until she became a skeleton.

With what little time she spent with Vi, with her encouragement to start greeting the world again instead of running away from it, she started to feel herself rebuilding and regenerating. But there were still some things that remained hard bone, unable to truly break free of the rot consuming her.

“I want you, Vi” She was sniffling, fresh tears wetting the fabric of Vi’s shirt.

“You have me, Cait. You have me.” Sweet, kind and warm Vi did not understand.

“But I want more.” Caitlyn groaned, frustrated at her wit’s end with her body and mind. “I want to have sex with you.”

Vi’s eyes were wide, showing that the instructor was not expecting such an honest admission. Caitlyn had many conversations with Heimerdinger on how to approach the subject with Vi. She wanted to sit them both down, going over a prepped list typed out on her phone so that she could feel aptly prepared.

She didn’t expect to be barrelling towards oblivion on a random Thursday night with puffy eyelids and no idea where her phone was. But they were here, the door wide open, the rug overturned to reveal the grinning monster beneath.

“Okay… we can work up to that. We don’t need to rush anything.” Vi skirted alongside the side of safety and Caitlyn could tell she was hesitant.

Heimerdinger had told her that it was her choice or not to tell Vi about what happened, and to remember that the right person for her would not be scared away or revolted at what happened to her. What happened to her was a part of her experiences, whether she liked it or not.

“I… I want to tell you about… what happened to me.” The words felt heavy on her tongue and they felt like lead coming out. She had said them, there was no turning back now.

“Alright… I’m listening.” Vi whispered, stroking long lines down Caitlyn’s back that would’ve made her fall asleep had she not been so nervous.

Caitlyn stared at a spot on the wall. The paint was chipped and she hung an art piece over it in an attempt to hide it until she had enough energy to repaint it herself. The canvas was bathed in strokes of dark blue with smaller green masses to accompany it, an impressionist scene of a lily pad pond. Each lily pad had a small lotus flower paired with it, the blending strokes of light reflecting off the water’s edge providing further serenity.

While the picture took up most of the attention, only Caitlyn would know of the chipping paint behind it. It was frustratingly accurate for her current situation.

“You know that I was attacked. I was on duty.” Caitlyn felt her consciousness float around the room, her throat becoming full and dry as she spoke. Her mind left her body on the couch, as she watched herself recount the events.

“You know that my mother was a councillor, before she died, anyway. The council was… is… benevolent at best. Mother made a lot of enemies in her time as councillor.”

Her mother was another sore spot yet to be touched on, but she needed to reveal the beast hiding under the carpet and not unleash a hoard of them on poor Vi.

Poor Vi held her patiently, one of her thumbs stroking Caitlyn’s upper arms. Vi was steady. Vi was warm. Vi was safe.

“I didn’t know just how bad it was. I was naive and I didn’t want to involve myself with being a politician. I was on patrol one night, stationed outside this event in Downtown Piltover. It was some celebratory banquet to commemorate one of the Piltover’s Academy’s achievements.”

Flashes of the night began to come back to her. She remembered how the pavement smelt while the other officers sat on the steps. Most of them had a cigarette in their hands, and the ones who weren’t didn’t seem to have a problem with the smoke. She was the only one still standing guard, listening to their conversation but not butting in.

“The event was mostly in full swing and the rest of the officers were taking a break. I was still on watch,” Caitlyn chuckled wetly. “If I would’ve just taken a break for once, I would’ve still had my eye.”

Vi stiffened, something Caitlyn only noticed because the woman’s thumb faltered on her bicep only for a fraction of a second. It gave Caitlyn pause, a chance to reflect on how she would summarise the details.

“They were a group of people my mother had wronged. They were from Zaun and they were angry, understandably so. But…” Caitlyn had her jaw hard set as she bit the inside of her cheek. “One of them had me pinned down on the floor before I could even react. I just… saw blood.”

She flinched at the phantom feeling, a blinding slash against her eye that made her shudder. She touched her left eye, relieved to find smooth fabric instead of spilling blood.

She felt Vi’s grip grow tighter. Safe and warm.

“Vi…” her voice was broken, far away. She didn’t feel this vulnerable when they had the hospital sheet placed over her spread legs, the nurse gently announcing every action she took while Caitlyn lost herself on the ceiling.

“They hurt me.” She was going to throw up.

“In more ways than one,” she hated how her voice wobbled. Like she was a child, scared and alone in her big, big room, waiting for the monster that lived under her bed to grab her.

“Oh, Cait…” Vi let out a pained whisper, pressing her lips and sympathy into the crown of Caitlyn’s head. “That shouldn’t have happened. None of it.”

“It did.” Caitlyn cleared her throat before she sighed. “It was only for a few minutes, but it felt like hours.”

Her body shuddered and she clenched at the fabric of her t-shirt, willing the physical sensations to go away. She pushed herself up and out of Vi’s embrace, feeling like the steady pressure was too dizzying in a sea of memories. She needed space to breathe, to fill her lungs with the scent of her home instead of the smell of wet pavement and copper.

“I am working through it. I am getting over it. It’s just taking longer to… get back to that side of myself.” Caitlyn’s words offered no resolution for herself, only the deep reminder of the mountain of work still ahead of her.

Vi was silent, concerningly so.

Caitlyn knew it was too good to be true. To expect someone to so willingly accept the shattered pieces of herself she was still glueing together. Vi was warm and sweet, but she was not inhuman. Everyone had their limits.

“I understand if it’s too much for you, it’s too much for me to handle if I am honest. So I don’t expect you to stick around and wade through these waters with me. You don’t need to–”

“Caitlyn.” Vi’s hand was on hers.

She didn’t know she was trembling, not until Vi held her together with just the warm feeling of her calloused hands.

“I’m not going anywhere. I am sticking with you, Cupcake. You’re stuck with me.” Vi tilted Caitlyn’s chin to look up at her. “This isn’t something that makes me less attracted to you. It makes me angry and… sad, but also incredibly proud of you. That’s always been the case. This is part of you, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Caitlyn deflated like a party balloon, melting into Vi’s hand. The rug had been overturned. The monster was out, running amock. Instead of chasing it away, and beating it back with a stick, Caitlyn laid it in her lap softly, stroking its jagged and matted fur.

She pulled Vi in for a hug, cradling the pink hair and warm neck of the instructor. “Thank you, Vi.” She whispered in bewilderment.

Vi simply smirked, her usual confident and snarky smile as she hugged Caitlyn close.

Safe, warm, and sweet.

—-----

Caitlyn was enamoured with how Vi’s abdomen peaked out of her bindings.

Smooth skin, small scars, all delicately stretched over harder muscle and the slightest peak of wispy hairs. The bindings around her torso stopped short just over the swell of her breasts, her gorgeous arms were hidden underneath a dark leather jacket. Her matching leather pants were ripped in strange places that Caitlyn didn’t want to question, but the fabric did a good job of highlighting just how blessed Vi was in other departments.

She had a way of stirring Caitlyn up by barely trying at all. All she had to do was smile, throw an arm over the back of Caitlyn’s chair, or put a hand on her thigh and she was a goner.

They were at Vander’s dive bar with Jinx, Mel, Gert, and Jinx’s ‘friend’ Ekko. (Caitlyn was told not to question Jinx’s relationship with the man in white dreadlocks.) Caitlyn was apprehensive about it at first, worried that Mel was the only other Piltovian coming to their little get-together. Vi had informed her with a pleasant smile that Mel would not be coming unaccompanied. The same taller, buffer woman who seemed to only grunt in response joined them at the table. She seemed to emerge from the shadows, a dramatic, maroon cloak over her left shoulder.

Caitlyn learnt that her name was Sevika, and Sevika and Mel got along particularly well. So well in fact, that they seemed to be in their own little world from the minute Sevika sat down.

It prompted the rest of them to huddle off into their respective pairs, and Caitlyn couldn’t help but glance over to Ekko and Jinx, the younger man currently throwing his head back and laughing at something Jinx said, a matching grin on the paler woman’s face.

“They seem to be getting along great,” Vi mused, following Caitlyn’s line of sight. “He used to worship the ground I walk on, now he’s stealing my sister.” She said jokingly, her hand clasping the edges of her beer mug.

Caitlyn was currently nursing a glass of concerningly glittery alcohol that Jinx had begged her to try, citing that it would be ‘good for her Piltie tastes.’ Whatever that meant.

The drink was sickeningly sweet, practically a luminescent purple. It swirled in her belly, spreading warmth to her entire being. And it really made her focus on how delectable Vi was.

She had learnt a lot about Vi in their months of being together. Where Caitlyn liked to shut herself away from the world, Vi would punch her problems, squashing them into a bright red punching bag. She learnt that Vi was the stereotypical older sister, constantly worrying and fussing over Powder whenever she could. Guilt and loss were behind every protective gesture she made. The world had tried to bury Vi in a sea of carnage and pain, but she had clawed her way out of it all by herself.

The pain and carnage were unavoidable, grabbing her by the throat on some nights. Caitlyn learnt that in those moments all Vi needed was a steady hold around her waist, adoring kisses to the crown of her head, and an ear to carry the burden of her troubles. Caitlyn spent half of her days learning how to be warm, sweet, and soft just for Vi and it was a reverent journey.

She learnt that Vi’s full name was Violet and that she hated the name because of the weight it carried on her shoulders. The first time she referred to Vi with her full name was when they were in the middle of another heavy, heated makeout session on Vi’s bed.

Caitlyn had begged, “Violet, I want this off of you,” clinging to the hem of Vi’s roughened camisole. She was practically swallowed whole by the woman’s light blue eyes, engulfed in a sea of desire from one utterance of her heavy name.

She had pressed her love and adoration for Violet into her chest, biting and suckling at the swells of flesh and laving her tongue against the raised pink skin of her nipples. Caitlyn worshipped Vi like the God she was, sinking her fingers into the wispy hairs between her legs and coating her hand with Vi’s slick. Vi sounded magnificent, huffing and groaning against Caitlyn’s cheek.

Caitlyn had never been clingy, or possessive, not even before the incident. She hadn’t felt the urge to be that kind of girlfriend in her previous relationships, opting to be cool, calm and collected on all fronts. But with Vi, with Violet, she discovered new shades of herself, beneath the fissures in her chest and hallowed hallways of her mind.

Vi sat with her legs spread, one of her arms resting on the table in front of her, while the other was draped around the back of Caitlyn’s chair. There was an overall hum of intoxication in the air, paired with the haziness of the low light and cigarette smoke in the room.

Vi was flickering her gaze between Jinx and Ekko, sipping her drink cooly. Her head was slightly turned downwards, her icy eyes peering through her eyelashes.

The sight went straight to Caitlyn’s core.

She grabbed Vi’s spare hand, scooting closer to her to get the woman’s attention. Vi snapped out of her surveillance with a shy smile, squeezing Caitlyn’s hand.

“I’m happy for them, I promise. I just worry about her.” Vi stroked her thumb across Caitlyn’s knuckles. Vi’s hands were significantly bigger than Caitlyn’s, and it did not help the growing rush of arousal building inside of the taller woman.

Caitlyn hummed momentarily, looking over to Sevika and Mel who were currently whispering things to one another. Jinx and Ekko were inching closer and closer. She thought she might as well follow suit.

Without much thought, she raised herself from her respective chair and plopped herself down on Vi’s lap. She leaned her side into Vi’s front, delighted at how the ex-con’s surprise melted away into acceptance as one of her rough hands encased Caitlyn’s waist, the other hand splaying itself over her thigh.

The others at the table were too engrossed in their conversations, only throwing a couple of questioning looks towards them before going back to their respective person.

Caitlyn chuckled, pressing a long, sensual kiss to Vi’s lips, her breath fanning out over the ‘VI’ tattoo on the woman’s freckled cheek. Vi made a sound of surprise that she felt against her lips.

“Where did this come from?” Vi asked with a low voice that sent static straight to Caitlyn’s brain. “The Shimmer’s getting to you, isn’t it?”

“Is that what the drink’s called?” Caitlyn whispered into the side of Vi’s neck, pressing her nose to inhale the scent of her girlfriend, warm notes of cinnamon and sweat that made her want to bury herself there for the rest of the night. “I could barely hear what Jinx was saying when she gave it to me.”

Vi groaned softly, her grip on Caitlyn’s hips tightening. Caitlyn gleamed at the restraint.

“Yeah… Cait?” Vi was breathy, reduced to putty from the effect of Caitlyn’s lips on her neck.

When Caitlyn hummed in answer, pulling away from Vi’s neck to caress her soft and brawny arms, Vi had a quizzical look on her face. Like she was concerned more than aroused.

“Is something wrong?” Vi whispered in what little space there was between them.

That gave Caitlyn pause, an embarrassed flush of her cheeks and one wide eye.

“Not that I’m complaining,” Vi quickly soothed, the hand on Caitlyn’s waist rubbing up and down. “You’ve just never been this… touchy before.”

“I haven’t?” Caitlyn frowned and Vi’s face creased in appreciation.

“No,” that sly smirk made its appearance once more, and Gods, Caitlyn wanted to nibble on that scar on Vi’s upper lip. “But I like it.”

—-----

The apartment door pressed up against Caitlyn’s back as Vi kissed her senselessly. Their height difference allowed Vi to move down from Caitlyn’s lips to her jaw smoothly, and land on her neck, sucking kisses and lapping at the juncture of the woman’s jaw and neck. Caitlyn breathed heavily, small breaths of pleasure escaping her.

The Shimmer had coursed its way through her system, leaving her sober and so willing to let Vi do whatever she wanted to her.

“Vi. Vi,” Caitlyn gasped, laughing at their antics. “Please open the door?”

Vi pulled away, face flushed and eyes dilated with need. “Right. Right, yeah.”

Caitlyn giggled with a hand over her mouth as Vi fished through her jacket pockets for her keys. As she inserted the key into the door, Caitlyn threw her arms around Vi’s neck, pulling her in for another clash of lips as the door swung open behind her.

Vi caught her, just like she always did, with a possessive hand on Caitlyn’s waist as they stumbled through Vi’s apartment.

In a stunning display of strength, Caitlyn felt herself being lifted up, a squeak leaving her lips as she wrapped her long legs around Vi’s torso, pressing her groin into the woman with reckless abandon. The answering groan from Vi made her head spin.

“I love it when you’re like this…” Caitlyn gasped, feeling teeth and tongue on her collarbone as Vi carried her to the bedroom. “....manhandling me.”

Vi moaned, gently laying Caitlyn down on the bed and climbing over her. Vi was so broad and muscled, so sweet and gentle, cinnamon on her tongue like an intoxicating syrup.

The instructor slid herself between Caitlyn’s legs, pressing a knee to the taller woman’s core. Caitlyn couldn’t stop the groan leaving her lips, leaning her neck back so that Vi could have her way with the skin of her neck and collarbones.

“You’re so beautiful, Cait.” Vi purred, her hungry kisses turning into devotion against porcelain skin. “Tell me when to stop and I will.”

Caitlyn only answered by digging her nails into the fabric of Vi’s bindings, pulling it upwards. She needed to feel Vi’s skin against hers, needed to feel the warmth and safety pour over her.

Vi straightened, reaching downwards to peel off her bindings. Caitlyn’s hands immediately rung up the smooth skin of Vi’s abs, her nails scratching the expanse lightly. Her hands came up to cup the generous flesh of Vi’s breasts, her thumbs flicking over the nipples.

Caitlyn simply revelled in the way Vi’s abdomen twitched, her eyebrows curling inwards in the slightest. She was always so sensitive there, something Caitlyn loved discovering over and over again.

“Vi, take my shirt off.” Caitlyn shuddered, the burning in between them scorching the both of them in a blaze of lust.

Vi was always a dutiful girlfriend. She reached down towards Caitlyn’s waist, her fingers catching in the fabric of her t-shirt. Vi was slow and sweet as she took off the layer, tossing it to the periphery of the room.

It left Caitlyn in her bra, a simple, black one that she had thrown on before meeting Vi at the dive bar. She wished she had chosen a better piece of undergarments, but she wasn’t exactly expecting to be panting with need in Vi’s bedroom.

Caitlyn swooned at the way Vi’s eyes shamelessly drank in her body, those powder blue eyes turning into crashing waves. Vi looked… like she was ready to worship every inch of Caitlyn with just her stare.

Gone were the moments of hastiness and hunger from earlier and instead, tender and reverie took its place.

Caitlyn nudged her along, slipping the straps of her bra down her shoulder and reaching behind her to unhook the fabric. She looked up at Vi pleadingly, a gentle permission in her eyes.

Vi seemed to follow Caitlyn’s lead, aiding her in removing the black fabric from her body. Caitlyn’s breasts shook slightly from the brush of the bra cup against her taut brown nipples.

As the bra was discarded to the bed, Vi looked to Caitlyn for permission, practically salivating with need. Her hands were ghosting Caitlyn’s ribs, tentatively seeking respite.

Caitlyn nodded, her mouth open slightly as she mirrored the glistening need in Vi’s eyes.

When Vi’s hands gently enclosed both her breasts, thumbs stroking the underside of the goosepimpled flesh before her index finger joined her in teasing the erect nubs. Caitlyn bit her lip, throbbing with need as she stared down at Vi’s strong hands.

“Tell me what you want, Cupcake.” Vi’s voice was wrecked like she was close to breaking apart right there on the bed.

“Put your mouth on me,” Caitlyn panted, moaning when Vi pinched her left nipple harder while her rough thumb soothed the other.

“Fuck, okay.” Vi rasped, bending down dutifully and pressing warm lips to Caitlyn’s upper chest.

They fell back onto the bed slowly, Caitlyn bending her legs and spreading them more to accommodate Vi’s body between her legs.

Vi teased the skin above her breasts, the hot and wet kisses driving Caitlyn insane while Vi’s hands continued to knead the taut flesh.

Finally, fucking finally, when Vi’s tongue deftly teased over the skin of Caitlyn’s nipple, she let out an airy moan, feeling slick gather in her underwear. She ground up, coming into contact with Vi’s thighs and she gritted her teeth at the feeling.

Vi peered up at her, tongue mercilessly swirling over one of Caitlyn’s nipples while the other hand cupped the soft flesh. Caitlyn let out a soft whine at the hunger in Vi’s eyes, the devotion and care dripping off her tongue and pooling into sinful spots of wetness on her skin.

“Vi…” she trembled, her hands carding through Vi’s mullet, gripping at the roots while her thumb scratched at the short hairs of her undercut.

Vi answered her need by sucking the darker skin into her mouth, laving her tongue over the sensitive nerves as Caitlyn’s breath hitched. This time, Vi ground against her, smirking into Caitlyn’s skin at the resulting gasp.

She suddenly unlatched herself from Caitlyn’s chest, both of her hands resting on Caitlyn’s bare abdomen.

“Can I?” Vi asked, lips swollen and wet from the ministrations on Caitlyn’s chest. Caitlyn never thought she’d seen anything hotter ever in her life.

Caitlyn nodded, lifting her hips up while Vi made quick work of Caitlyn’s tight-fitting pants.

Vi was hunched over, drinking in and memorising the sight of Caitlyn almost bare in front of her. Her eyes scanned over the soft edges of Caitlyn’s toned abdomen, down to the tight-fitting light blue underwear with a sorry wet patch at the crotch. Caitlyn’s breasts heaved with every breath she took, her one-eyed gaze burning a hole in Vi’s chest.

“Do you understand how fucking gorgeous you are, Cait?” Vi marvelled as she let her hands wander up Caitlyn’s thigh, a soothing and steady touch to unravel Caitlyn’s slowly building anxiety. “Tell me what you want me to do, I’ll do it. I’ll do anything.”

Caitlyn melted at Vi’s declaration, never having felt so placed on a pedestal before. Vi was willing to worship her and take care of her in ways she never thought were possible.

A heaviness sat on her chest, her breath suddenly coming in short bursts. It suddenly felt like an alien parasite had lodged itself in her chest, fighting against her ribcage to be let out.

Caitlyn found her eyes watering, her heaving turning from want to vulnerability. She watched in horror as Vi’s facial features fell into concern and heartbreak.

She curled in on herself, placing both of her hands over her face as she sobbed softly into her hands. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

She felt the muscled woman move out from between her legs, engulfing her in a bone-gripping embrace that made her want to fall further. Honey-soaked warmth fell next to her shoulder. “It’s alright, it’s okay. I’m here.”

Caitlyn wanted to smack herself, wanted to take a live wire and fry her nervous system until it regulated itself once more. The hairy and gargantuan monster had snuck into the room unannounced, ripping her apart by the seams.

She felt conflicted with the reverence that Vi gave her, undeserving of the patience and understanding.

“Gods, I’m sorry…” Caitlyn whimpered into her hands, wanting to curl up and bury herself in the floorboards until Vi grew sick of her and left.

“Hey, no.” Vi’s voice grew more assertive but never lost that kind and gentle edge. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

Logically, Caitlyn knew that she didn’t have anything to be sorry for. Sex was not transactional, especially with Vi. But the monster ran around the room, taking her innards with it. All that was left was the violent spiral she was swirling in.

“Caitlyn, I promise that it’s okay. We don’t have to do anything, tonight.” Vi’s hands pried Caitlyn’s delicate fingers away from her face.

The fabric of Caitlyn’s eyepatch was moist and sticking to her face, combined with her salty tears and sweat. Her hair was mussled from their earlier antics, her eye redrimmed and puffy. Vi gaped at her like she was made of marble.

“I love you, Cait.”

Caitlyn felt the miserable monster disappear, slinking away with its tail in between its legs. Its banishment came with the relinquishment of the severing tides of her spiral. Vi’s soft admission was the last thing was expecting.

“You do?” Caitlyn quivered, peering into those light blue eyes that reflected the moonlight flittering in from the open curtains.

Vi nodded, sure and steady. “Yeah. I love you.”

A soft calloused hand touched Caitlyn’s cheek, stroking delicately. A new kind of sour taste built up in her throat, a blooming kind that washed over and cleaned the detriment of the fissures inside her.

“Vi?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

The fact that Vi’s features skewed into a puzzled look was almost comical, like loving Vi could ever be something that could be doubted.

“I do…” Caitlyn reached up to stroke the wild hairs on top of Vi’s head, smoothing down the jagged strands. “You’ve dealt with me so admirably… you’ve always been… good.”

Vi smiled sheepishly, her eyes glazing over. “No, I haven’t.”

Caitlyn chuckled, reaching down between them to locate Vi’s hand. When she found it, she squeezed the sturdy fingers in hers, bringing it up to her mouth to place a generous and loving kiss on the woman’s hardened knuckles.

“You have. You’ve only been safe… and warm. Soft, even.”

Vi laughed, crimson infiltrating the freckles that Caitlyn lightly caressed. “I don’t think I’m soft…”

Vi could not have been more wrong.

Caitlyn kissed her softly, gentle and warm in a way she could only hope to be. “You are with me. And with Jinx. With all the people you care about. I think I fell in love with your heart first,” she breathed against Vi’s cheek, trailing her lips over Vi’s cheekbones. “You’ve given me nothing but patience in our time together.”

Vi’s face hardened slightly, an adorable angry look on her face. “Anyone who’s halfway decent would be patient with you, Cait.”

Caitlyn smiled softly, flitting her gaze to Vi’s hands still in hers. She traced the lines of the instructor’s veins, finding comfort that they all lead to the same place where she would always be. Violet’s heart.

Caitlyn took a deep breath, realising that Vi was the greatest thing that could’ve happened to her this past year. Vi was sweetness underneath the skin of a clenched fist, and she had weaselled her way into Caitlyn’s heart, building a warm home for herself.

“Do you want me to find you a shirt? You get cold easily.” Vi asked, removing herself from Caitlyn’s embrace with a wink. Vi was always squeamish with too much attention on herself.

Caitlyn took a moment to appreciate her lover’s form, all the smooth curves and hard muscles on display. Somewhere, beyond and tucked away under tattooed skin and scarred flesh, lay the essence of Vi. Her Vi.

Even deeper, stitched into the atoms of Vi was a version of Caitlyn she could learn to love.

“As long as it’s one of yours, I’m happy,” Caitlyn remarked, leaning on her elbows. She didn’t miss the way Vi’s gaze lingered on her, an adoring look on the shorter woman’s face.

Soon enough, one of Vi’s oversized and worn shirts was thrown at her face with a snicker. Caitlyn gawked and threw one of the pillows behind her head at Vi, who dodged it easily.

Vi was dressed in another tank-top, (Caitlyn thought the butch must have a myriad of sleeveless tops to choose from), and a pair of fresh red boxers that hugged her just right.

As she unravelled the shirt in her hands, a matching blue pair of boxers with a white waistband fell into her lap.

She looked at Vi curiously, while the muscular woman shrugged. “I like seeing you in my clothes. Plus, it’s not great to sit in your own wet panties for a while.”

Caitlyn almost shoved her back off the bed when Vi curled up next to her. “Don’t say panties.”

Caitlyn heard Vi chuckling as she lifted herself from the bed, quickly slipping off her ruined underwear before adorning Vi’s boxers. They felt snug on her body, pulling at the swell of her ass nicely.

Once she pulled the shirt over her head, she turned back around to find Vi staring at her, her head resting on one of the pillows with a naughty grin.

“Panties.”

“You’re so annoying–” Caitlyn groaned with a smile, immediately pouncing on Vi and bracketing the Zaunites waist with her legs. She placed a hand over the woman’s mouth, giggling at the way Vi’s abdomen jumped with laughter underneath her.

They fell asleep together shortly after, Caitlyn’s head resting on Vi’s chest as she memorised the lub-dub of her lover’s heart. If this was what love is, Caitlyn was a fool to think she would never get this for herself. Loving Violet came as easy as breathing, warm as a campfire with the scent of marshmallows in the air, kind like a mother bird feeding its young. Safe like only Vi could be.

—---

“Cupcake?” Vi called from the kitchen. Her hands and black t-shirt were messed with flour.

Caitlyn, who had been curled up in a blanket and engrossed in a new TV show, looked up in alarm at the state of her girlfriend.

“Where are the baking trays?”

“What on Earth are you doing in there?” Caitlyn peered over the edge of the couch, trying to see into the entryway of her kitchen.

“It’s a surprise!” Jayce peered out from around the corner, a toothy grin on his face.

“Where are the damn baking trays, woman?!” Caitlyn heard Jinx yell from the kitchen like it would be a disaster if she didn’t reveal the location of the baking trays that instant.

“In the… far left cabinet. Should I be worried?” Caitlyn turned her gaze back to Vi, who looked sheepish and suave at the same time.

“Nope. You just sit pretty.” Vi waved her off with a wink that made Caitlyn roll her eyes lovingly.

She regretted allowing all three of them to occupy the same space in her home because she knew her kitchen would be sorry for it.

Vi had somehow coordinated with Jayce to come over and, even more miraculously, gotten Jinx involved. Caitlyn almost couldn’t believe how noisy her house had become.

She knew why Vi was going through all this trouble, why they all were. The anniversary of that day was fast approaching, and though she didn’t speak much about it, Vi knew her well enough to see the tell-tale signs. She wasn’t sleeping through the night anymore, always waking up at around 2:26 am, sweating and thoroughly terrified.

On some nights, Vi would calm her at first, holding her until the trembling had stopped and she could breathe without gasping. On other nights, the nightmares were quiet and she woke up without startling Vi. She would quietly slip out of bed, tiptoeing away until she could locate the TV remote in her living room. She would put on whatever she could find, knowing her mind would either be buzzing with numbness or hyperactive.

One morning, Vi found her asleep on the couch, her head resting awkwardly on the armrest. Vi told her, begged her even, to wake her up every time she had a nightmare while Caitlyn argued that she didn’t want to disrupt both of their sleep schedules just because she ‘couldn’t handle her own scary dreams.’ Suffice it to say, it had turned into an argument that left both of them dead quiet for the morning.

Caitlyn had started to withdraw from the world again, in moderation this time. She would still go to her office and work on her cases, but she would come straight home after, double-checking her surroundings every time. She would decline any opportunity to go out with Vi, or to meet friends, preferring the safety of her home or Vi’s apartment. Anywhere out in public would be too risky.

So Vi had finally had enough and decided to rope Jayce and Jinx into this little pick-me-up. Mel would be joining later, after her business meeting. Vi’s dedication knew no bounds.

She didn’t expect the three of them to slowly creep their way into the kitchen while she lay on the couch, nor did she expect the three of them to get along as well as they did. She supposed it was only a matter of time before the important parts of her life started to intersect. She also didn’t hate the sight of Vi covered in flour.

She did her best to stay put and keep herself from storming into the kitchen every time she heard something clatter to the floor or heard Jinx curse. After an hour passed, she heard Vi slink back into the living room, the flour on her hands was washed off, but her shirt was still an art piece itself.

Jayce appeared next, with a shy smile and matching stains of flour and pink liquid on his t-shirt. Caitlyn looked at them both, puzzled by their strange behaviour.

“If this is an intervention of some kind, I do have access to firearms.” Caitlyn quipped, standing up from the couch with her arms across her chest. She meant it as a joke, but she really did have a gun safe in her apartment for emergencies.

“Relax Piltie, Jesus.” Jinx emerged, her cheeks messed with all sorts of coloured pigments. She looked like she had dived into a Pride parade, face first.

In her hands, she carried a tray filled with an array of different cupcakes, all decorated with icing and toppings. Caitlyn’s eyes widened at the pure chaos contained on the tray, a creation only Jinx could’ve been the maker of.

“We made you some cupcakes,” Jinx said, her voice high and cheerful as she set down the tray on the coffee table. “Ya’ know… ‘cause Vi likes to call you Cupcake.”

“I think she got that, Pow.” Vi quickly shut her up with a firm hand to the lankier woman’s back.

Caitlyn took another look at the display of cupcakes. One of them was decorated with pink icing and chocolate sprinkles, another with blue icing and a single cherry on top, and the one next to that was decorated with simple white icing and what looked like edible gold. She didn’t want to know where Jinx got a hold of edible gold from. Another was deep red, with the same gold foil adorning it, along with pieces of jagged dark chocolate sticking up in an artful way that Caitlyn could appreciate. Lastly, the most chaotic was a mixture of pink and light blue icing, decorated with a myriad of toppings ranging from cherries, jelly sweets, and sprinkles.

Caitlyn chuckled, realising that each cupcake was a representation of each person in the room, save for Mel who was still on her way. It was sweet, and kind, something she wasn’t expecting from Vi’s younger sister.

“These are… great. Thank you, Jinx.” Caitlyn smiled gratefully, taking delight in the way Jinx shrugged in nonchalance.

“Vi put me up to it, anyway.” There was a flicker of recognition behind those deep blue eyes, despite the flippance.

“And I appreciate it all the same,” Caitlyn chuckled, looking to Jayce who looked at her with a knowing smirk. She hated how right he had been for wanting her to join the stupid self-defence class. Hated how he looked like a proud father, standing in her living room with icing on his shirt.

“You better clean up.” Caitlyn pointed at the man as she took a seat on the couch once more, Vi taking her place beside her while Jinx sat on the one-seater couch adjacent to them.

“I didn’t make the mess!” Jayce said with exasperation as none of the other women made any fuss about him. He turned around only to be greeted with Mel’s face, looking concerned.

“Did a bomb go off in your kitchen?” Mel asked, shrugging off her long coat and throwing it on the back of Caitlyn’s couch.

“That would be my doing.” Jinx piped up, her mouth filled with sugary sweetness. “Your personalised cupcake’s right there, milady.”

They fell into idle chatter, Mel talking about her business meeting, Jinx explaining how nervous she is for her final art exam, and Vi poking fun at Jayce by calling him ‘pretty boy.’

Caitlyn fell into the periphery, a warm smile on her face.

A year ago, her apartment was silent as she went to work, went to the shooting range, and competed in competitions, while sometimes making some time to spend with Jayce. She was cold, detached, and lifeless, long before she was assaulted.

Now the four large walls had laughter and chatter ringing through the empty spaces. She had a support system, of multiple people, who all cared about her in their own specific ways. People who she would burn the world down for.

She hated the way that it had to happen, hated the catalyst was something brutal and ugly that she would never fully recover from, no matter how hard she tried. She hated that she still sometimes struggled with her depth perception and woke up in cold sweats.

However, she loved how Vi would hold her like she was priceless. Loved the way Jinx accepted her in her own unconventional way and made the effort to bake her cupcakes. Loved the way Mel made time in her busy schedule to meet with her and share the messy and chaotic cupcakes, without any protest. Loved the way Jayce had continued to be her best friend through the worst of it all, how he had put up with her for years and would do so for the rest of his life.

She loved the way she loved them all, in all their different shades.

She bit the inside of her lip as she watched them all like she was outside of her body for the moment. She grasped Vi’s hand, squeezing at the skin and melting at the reciprocal comfort Vi gave back to her.

Caitlyn was warm, she was safe. And she always had been. She just needed to be reminded of that.

—-----

Vi laid back on their shared bed, clad in only a pair of bright pink boxers and a sports bra. She had just taken a shower, smelling of whatever jasmine-scented body wash Caitlyn had been using.

They were practically living together now, Vi only going home once a week to make sure Jinx hadn’t burnt their apartment down and to collect some more of her clothes. Most of her stuff had slowly moved over to Caitlyn’s house, the scent of sweetness a permanent fixture in the Piltovian’s apartment.

Caitlyn emerged from the living room, carrying the newest book she had decided to try and devour on nights when she couldn’t sleep. Vi smiled, staring at her bare face sans eye-patch. Caitlyn had recently gotten comfortable with not adorning her eye-patch around Vi, ever since the anniversary had passed. Vi was beyond proud of the progress Caitlyn made and felt even luckier to be loved by the Piltie.

“What are you staring at?” Caitlyn smirked at her, setting her book down on the nightstand and crawling to Vi. She draped herself over the shorter woman, who gladly accepted her with a cheeky grin.

“Just staring at this fine-ass woman who walked into the bedroom,” Vi stated, gripping Caitlyn’s hips possessively.

Caitlyn groaned and slapped Vi’s shoulder playfully. “Don’t say that.”

“I can’t call you fine?” Vi chuckled, trailing sweet kisses up Caitlyn’s upper arms to her shoulders. “We both know you have a great ass too.”

Caitlyn giggled, high-pitched and sugary when Vi trailed her mouth to her neck, lightly biting at the skin there. Vi’s hands roamed from her hips to her thighs, pushing up against Caitlyn’s nightgown.

“You can’t find me sexy in this,” Caitlyn sighed as Vi continued licking and suckling softly at her neck.

“I can. I find you sexy in almost anything, Cupcake.” Vi almost growled, digging her fingertips into the flesh of Caitlyn’s thighs.

“Vi?” Caitlyn’s voice frail.

Vi pulled away dutifully, lessening her grip on Caitlyn’s upper thighs. Her powder blue eyes shone. “Was that too much?”

Caitlyn’s lips curled upwards, full of love and appreciation. “No. Not at all. But I wanted to say…”

Caitlyn averted her gaze down to Vi’s sports bra, her hand came up to fiddle the seam on her shoulder. “... I want to try again.”

Vi’s thick eyebrows furrowed before realisation flooded her features. “Oh! You mean–”

“Yes. That’s what I mean.” Caitlyn teased.

“If you’re sure?” Vi’s sweet and rough palms brushed against her cheek which Caitlyn met with her own hands, tracing her nails over the boxer’s knuckles.

“I’m sure. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time.”

Vi smirked, her eyes darkening. “Yeah?”

She pressed her face close, her lips inches away from Caitlyn’s. “Tell me.”

Caitlyn sighed as Vi kissed her softly and sweetly, scorching heat generated between them like a forest fire.

“I’ve… been thinking about your lips on mine…” Caitlyn whispered in between the slots of their lips, moaning softly as Vi’s tongue entered her mouth.

Vi had always been somewhat of a giver during sex, she preferred it that way, except of course with Caitlyn. It was a new side to Vi that she had only seen glimpses of, this dominating, teasing personality making her grow hot all over.

Vi moved down Caitlyn’s jaw, teasing her jawline and feeling herself grow wet in response to the small whines the woman on top of her let out.

“Tell me how you want it, Cait.” Vi’s breath shuddered against Caitlyn’s neck.

“Like this…” Caitlyn rasped, grabbing Vi’s wrists and moving them up her body, stopping at the cinch of her waist. “I want to stay up here if that’s okay?”

Vi chuckled as if that would be a problem at all for her. “Cupcake, you could crawl on the damn ceiling and I’d be fine with it.”

Caitlyn rolled her eyes, squeezing Vi’s bicep softly. “Don’t ruin it.”

Vi shut her mouth, suctioning small marks at Caitlyn’s collarbones. Caitlyn’s hands came up to stroke at Vi’s back, pulling the broader woman into her.

“Take off my robe, Vi.” Caitlyn panted, impatiently scratching at the skin of Vi’s shoulders.

Vi obeyed, immediately pulling away from Caitlyn’s chest to unravel the robe. When she was met with glorious and pristine skin, adorned with a lilac and lacy nightgown, she stared for a moment to admire the moment in front of her. Caitlyn was opening herself up to her in yet another way that made her head spin and made her heart ricochet in her chest.

She gently pushed the robe off of Caitlyn’s shoulders, feeling the fabric fall on top of her knees behind Caitlyn. Caitlyn’s one eye was dripping in need, vulnerability swirling in the cerulean depths.

Vi moved quickly, using her nimble fingers to poke at the thin straps on Caitlyn’s shoulders, pulling them in the same direction as where her robe fell.

She had seen Caitlyn’s breasts before, marvelled at them and touched them many times, but the sheer sight of Caitlyn nude would always leave her stunned.

“Gorgeous…” Vi whispered into Caitlyn’s skin, dragging her nose and lips down the smooth skin. She cupped one of them in her hands, massaging and kneading the flesh while she teased the other’s darkened and stiffened skin with her lips.

She began with small kitten-like licks, slowly probing at the bud while Caitlyn arched her back and whined at the contact. She felt the taller woman grind down on her lap and Vi smiled, laving her tongue over Caitlyn’s nipple.

She continued worshipping Caitlyn’s chest, taking her time exploring every inch of the heaving flesh. Her hands possessively took Caitlyn’s hips in her own, helping the Piltovian to rock herself against her. Caitlyn let out heavy huffs into the air and small groans that made Vi ache with need.

“Vi… please.” Caitlyn sounded so beautiful when she begged, like a prayer. Vi released her mouth from Caitlyn’s nipple, a trail of spit snapping between the skin and her mouth before she looked up at Caitlyn’s wrecked face.

Her face was flushed with little crimson splashes over her cheek, while her lips parted as she panted. Vi peered at her sculpture-like beauty, taking in every detail of her blown-wide pupil and rosy cheeks.

Caitlyn needily rocked her hips once more, and Vi could feel the wet heat through the woman’s underwear, pressing into the hard ridges of her abs.

Vi heeded Caitlyn’s non-verbal plea, reaching down to peel the fabric away from the woman’s groin, Caitlyn wobbling and leaning on Vi clumsily to get rid of the last barrier.

Greedily, Caitlyn clawed at the fabric of Vi’s sports bra, tossing it dramatically onto the floor before delving into another passionate kiss. Vi huffed shakily when Caitlyn latched onto her breasts, licking and sucking the pink skin into her mouth.

“Cupcake… this is meant to be about you,” Vi whispered, gently pushing Caitlyn’s head away with her hand. Caitlyn’s eye was soaked in pure greed, licking her lips with a grin.

This side of Caitlyn was always there, hidden beneath the layers of self-doubt and insecurity, and by Gods, was it miraculous to finally see. To see her without any shame, to feel Caitlyn’s warm skin against hers.

Caitlyn surprised Vi by pushing her back with a hand on her shoulders, a soft ’hmph!’ leaving her lips as her back hit the bed. Vi had a wide grin on her face as Caitlyn readjusted herself over Vi, her wet and bare pussy rubbing against the lower part of her stomach where her happy trail began.

“Give me your hand?” Caitlyn asked sweetly as if her hips weren’t doing the most sinful gyrations on top of Vi.

Vi easily presented her left hand, which Caitlyn grabbed eagerly and brought down between her legs with both of her eyes closed.

Caitlyn was soaked, velvet under Vi’s fingertips. Vi stared, mouth agape as her rough fingers explored Caitlyn’s folds, caressing the soft muscles of Caitlyn’s inner lips.

Caitlyn panted, staring down at Vi’s hand with her jaw slack, her breath hitching anytime Vi’s fingers would skirt upwards.

“You’re so wet, Cait…” Vi groaned, practically feeling herself teetering on the edge from just touching Caitlyn.

Caitlyn smiled, dark and laced with lust as she took hold of Vi’s wrist again, moving her fingers up to where she needed them to be.

“Don’t go inside…” Caitlyn panted, pressing her eyelids together as if in concentration. “Just my clit for now… I’ll tell you when.”

“You got it, baby…” Vi said, teasing the area around Caitlyn’s clit with her middle and ring finger as the wetness continued to grow. “You’re in control.”

Caitlyn bit her lip, her other hand scrambling for purchase over Vi’s body. It travelled from Vi’s shoulder, down her bicep and to her neck before it found its home on Vi’s tit. Vi squeaked slightly at the rough grip, biting her lip as Caitlyn’s deft hands used her breast as an anchor.

Caitlyn bucked her hips against Vi’s hand and moaned hoarsely when the instructor’s fingers finally pressed over her clit. “Vi… please.”

“Fuck…” Vi grunted, rubbing slow, lazy circles over Caitlyn’s clit, feeling the clench of her pussy just south of her fingers. “You’re so perfect for me, Cait.”

Caitlyn let her mouth drop open, raspy cries floating out. “Keep talking,” she whined, grinding her hips wholeheartedly against Vi’s hands. There was a sheen of sweat forming over her chest as she moved.

Vi would follow Caitlyn off the edge of a cliff if she commanded her to do so right now.

“So fucking pretty, I’m gonna’ be thinking about this for the next few weeks.” Vi rambled, having no idea where to keep her gaze.

Caitlyn was a Goddess of many moving parts, her face a picture of pleasure while her hips and stomach flexed with her grinding motions, her breasts jiggling softly with the momentum, her pussy drenched and leaking onto Vi’s fingers. Vi was sure she’d short-circuit soon.

Vi sped up her fingers, drawing more purposeful and explorative patterns against Caitlyn’s clit to see which one would draw the most effective response. She alternated from tight, even-paced circles, then up and down and then side to side. It was only when Vi shifted her hand slightly to the left, pressing against the side of Caitlyn’s hood as she rubbed tighter circles that Caitlyn clenched Vi’s wrist with a loud cry.

“Fuck, like that, yeah.” Caitlyn whimpered, pressing her lips together to keep her noises at bay.

Vi could not have that.

Vi reached up with her free hand, tilting Caitlyn’s head up gently but still with some firmness. “I wanna’ hear you,” she grunted, shifting her hand once more to press her palm against Caitlyn’s mound, cupping her pussy while she continued to rub at the swollen, sensitive bundle.

Caitlyn whimpered, loud and proud while her hips shamelessly ground against Vi’s fingers. Caitlyn looked lost in the sea of Vi’s talented fingertips, her mouth open as her neck arched back. She let the noises tumble from her lips, her conscious mind flittering on the ceiling as she absorbed herself in the satisfaction of Vi.

The monster lurked, watching openly with bared fangs dripping with acidic saliva. She growled, hissing back at it, gripping Vi’s wrist like a lifeline.

“I wish you could see yourself…” Vi whispered, her voice low and rumbling. “Dripping on my hand and making a mess.”

Caitlyn moaned, tumbling downwards and burying herself in Vi’s neck, her open-mouthed noises filtering directly into Vi’s ear. From the new angle, it gave her a better range of motion to rub herself against Vi’s fingers.

“Inside. N-Need you inside.” Caitlyn grunted, spreading her legs more and moving her hips so that Vi’s fingers slid against her entrance.

Vi honest-to-God whimpered, feeling the subtle clench of Caitlyn’s pussy against her fingers. Caitlyn’s slick spilt into her palm, her finger gently probing and then sliding in with little resistance.

Caitlyn stiffened, panting as one of her hands slid up to grip the back of Vi’s head, gripping the pink strands tightly. Vi grunted, feeling the apprehension in Caitlyn’s body and nails pressing into her scalp. She realised what was happening and moved her free hand to rest on the small of Caitlyn’s back.

“You’re here with me. You’re perfect, Caitlyn. You’re safe with me.”

Vi felt warmth and moisture drip onto the skin of her shoulder and she immediately became alarmed. She moved to pull out, already running through the damage control protocol in her mind when Caitlyn bucked downwards and ended up swallowing more of Vi’s finger inside of her velvety walls.

“Cait?” Vi asked, her gentle hand moving from Caitlyn’s back to the smooth strands of the taller woman’s hair.

“I’m okay,” Caitlyn said shakily, sniffling in a way that made it almost seem comically inaccurate. “I promise. I just feel really safe.” Caitlyn laughed, but it sounded like a sob next to Vi’s ear as the woman buried her face further into Vi’s neck.

Vi smiled softly, not moving the finger inside Caitlyn at all and instead taking the time to brush the stray strands of Caitlyn’s hair away from her forehead. “You’re always safe with me.”

Caitlyn lifted her head slightly from Vi’s shoulder, her lips downturned as thick tears formed in her eyes. “Please don’t make me cry anymore, this is already embarrassing enough.”

Vi softened, her heart melting into a puddle on the sheets. Caitlyn was crying not out of pain but out of euphoria, and she hadn’t even reached her peak yet. She was crying because Vi was safety and warmth and sweetness, depolluting her from the inside out.

Vi pulled her closer, not caring for the salty taste of tears and snot on Caitlyn’s lips as she kissed her. She didn’t care about a damn thing other than being Caitlyn’s warmth.

“Move.” Caitlyn breathed against her, their breaths mingling sensually as she ground against Vi’s single finger.

Vi obeyed. Caitlyn was still plenty wet and hot, her finger slipping almost all the way out before plunging back in, to which the blue-haired beauty groaned against her lips.

Vi continued the slow motions, drinking in Caitlyn in more ways than one as she delved her tongue into the woman’s mouth. Caitlyn’s noises increased in pitch as did her pace against Vi’s finger. Vi sped up slightly, keeping a steady pace as her palm slapped against Caitlyn’s clit rhythmically.

Caitlyn whimpered, high and whining, as she let off Vi’s lips in favour of moaning into the instructor’s ear once more. The angle put more pressure on Caitlyn’s diaphragm and her noises became gruff and desperate.

“That’s it, Cait. Ride my fingers. You look so beautiful like this.” The praises fell out of Vi’s lips in incoherent mumbles, but Caitlyn didn’t seem to care.

The woman above her was lost in pleasure, chasing her high with a reddened chest and shaking thighs.

Vi chose then to slowly curl her fingers, massaging against the spongey spot inside of Caitlyn.

“Fuck. Oh God, yes.” Caitlyn keened, the stimulation making her see stars as rutted against Vi’s hand.

Vi bit her lip, her own facial features pinched into pleasure as she watched Caitlyn’s pussy engulf her fingers, a wet sloppy noise coming from where they were connected. The sight of Caitlyn losing control on top of her was the most erotic thing she had ever seen, with her back arched, her breasts shaking, and her mouth open wide in pleasure.

“Vi. Keep fucking me like that.” Caitlyn babbled, speeding up as her hips grew erratic and desperate. Vi growled along with Caitlyn as she felt the woman’s walls clench and clench around her fingers. “Yes. Gods, Vi. I’m so close.”

“Come on my fingers, Cait. I’m here, it’s okay. Let go for me.” Vi had no idea where the words came from, purely following where her heart strung her along.

That did it for Caitlyn.

Caitlyn’s hips jolted against Vi’s fingers, milking the digits for everything she could as she came. A small gush of wetness pooled itself in Vi’s palm, velvety and warm walls fluttering around her long fingers. Caitlyn let out the most beautifully sexy sound Vi had ever heard, a broken moan that had tapered itself off into a strangled squeak.

Vi allowed herself to be greedy as the wave of ecstasy washed over Caitlyn.

She continued moving her fingers gently, drawing out all of the overstimulated sounds she could from Caitlyn as she shook above her.

Caitlyn felt like Vi had just ripped a hole in space and time to deliver her an orgasm straight from the ether. Her moans and cries tempered down into small pants as her head flopped back into the crook of Vi’s neck.

“Am I hurting you?” Caitlyn asked breathlessly.

Vi shook her head, slowly removing her fingers as gently as she could from Caitlyn’s soaked pussy. She brought the drenched fingers up to her lips, lathering her tongue over her own digits greedily. Caitlyn only watched in amazement with hazed eyes and a thoroughly fucked smile.

“You’re incredible.” Caitlyn panted as she shook her in disbelief. She nudged her nose further into Vi’s shoulders, breathing in the woman’s scent.

“I just had the most beautiful woman in the world come all over my fingers and you’re telling me I’m incredible?” Vi teased, slotting a thigh between Caitlyn’s legs to feel the remaining wetness leaking out from the taller woman’s core onto her leg.

She so badly wanted to continue this, to crawl down Caitlyn’s body and make her come on her tongue. To hear those exquisite sounds once more as Caitlyn throws herself off the edge.

But she knew that this was already a huge, mighty leap for Caitlyn. And she couldn’t be prouder. Couldn’t be more grateful to have witnessed the woman she loved at the height of her pleasure.

“I’m sorry for… getting emotional in the middle of it,” Caitlyn murmured, pressing a small kiss to Vi’s jaw.

“I was just worried about you, at first. There’s nothing to be sorry for…” Vi assured, draping her arm over Caitlyn’s back and pulling the woman even closer to her.

“Of course you’d say that,” Caitlyn remarked, tracing one of her fingernails along the ridges of Vi’s muscular abdomen.

Vi chuckled, watching Caitlyn’s hands trail up and down her abs. “How are you feeling?” The question left her lips tentatively.

Caitlyn hesitated, thinking for a moment before she answered. “I’m good. I feel good. There’s still… a part of me that wants to run away and hide. That wants to overthink everything and feel disgusted with myself.”

Vi pressed a loving peck to Caitlyn’s forehead as she spoke. “But you’re still here.”

Caitlyn smiled, soft, sweet and sated. “Yes. And I wanted to thank you for that.”

Vi shook her head vehemently. “Caitlyn. This was all you. I was just lucky to be here to witness it and to… be with you like that.”

Caitlyn sighed, pursing her lips. “Vi. I know that you’re humble and you don’t like taking credit for the things you do, but you’ve really helped me just by being a steady presence in my life.”

Vi blushed, turning her eyes away from Caitlyn only to have slender fingers on her chin turning her back.

“I’m serious, Vi. Without you, I’d probably still sitting in this empty apartment by myself, barely leaving it at all. I wouldn’t have gotten my life back.”

Vi squinted, immediately scrutinising Caitlyn’s downplayed role in her own recovery. “You would’ve gotten back to it without me just fine, Cupcake.”

Caitlyn lamented, resting her chin on top of Vi’s breast. “Perhaps… it would’ve been a lot slower. A lot more lonely and cold.”

Vi beamed down at the woman before. Parts of her midnight hair had draped over her scarred eye and Vi gently moved them away, smoothing out the edges as she carded her finger through the fine strands.

Caitlyn seemed to beam up at her right back, practically purring into Vi’s hand.

“I’m glad you decided to leave your house so you could find me,” Vi whispered, brushing her thumb against Caitlyn’s cheekbone.

“I’m glad Elora made me twist my ankle.”

They both laughed, their chests vibrating with the distant memory.

“Sleep?” Caitlyn asked, blinking slowly up at Vi who simply nodded.

Caitlyn moved from Vi’s chest so that the covers could be lifted up, and they both slotted in, immediately resuming the previous position.

Caitlyn nuzzled her head into Vi’s chest, her arm laid across the instructor’s stomach. Vi held her waist, drawing small patterns on the woman’s hip.

The room smelt of sex and cinnamon.

The monster had stretched its weary legs, curling itself up into a ball to lay at their feet.

Soft, safe, and warm.