Chapter Text
SIMON
“I ordered no sugar in my coffee!” A middle-aged woman yells at him from across the cafe counter, pushing the drink back at him. “I just saw you put sweetener in there!”
“Ma’am, I believe you said with sugar,” Simon suppresses a sigh, trying to maintain a neutral expression as there’s a line forming behind this woman during the morning rush and she’s taking her sweet time yelling at him. He is one hundred percent sure she’d said with sugar. “But let me make you another one without sugar.”
“You couldn't have just done it right the first time?” She huffs and he has to force himself to not roll his eyes because what is wrong with some people? Even if he had made a mistake, which he didn’t, she still could be nicer about it.
“I apologize. If you could step aside so we can continue making orders my co-worker will make you a new one,” he says, signaling to Maja that he needs her help as he tries to get the line to continue to stay moving.
“So now you can’t even fix your own mistakes? Where is your manager?”
This time he can’t suppress his sigh any longer, and lets it out which he knows is going to make things worse but can this woman just leave it alone? He will never understand why some customers are just like this.
Maja comes up to stand at his side and acknowledges the woman, nodding at Simon to continue helping customers. He listens in as he takes the next person’s order and turns to work the espresso machine.
“I’m the manager here, how can I help you, ma’am?” Maja asks.
“This boy was incredibly rude to me and completely messed up my drink order.”
“Well I apologize for that,” he hears Maja say in her fake, sugary sweet manager voice. “I’ll make you a new one right away.”
“I don’t understand why he–”
“He,” Maja begins, the sweetness that was oozing from her voice disappearing and turning into the more fierce version of her that Simon adores, “is continuing to help other customers and I promise you your coffee will taste just as good if I make it, if not better.” She grins at Simon and Simon rolls his eyes at her.
They’re always in a constant debate about who makes the better drinks the two of them, even sometimes having taste test competitions if the cafe isn’t busy. He has to admit he really enjoys working with her, that is until she has to return to manager mode sometimes and make him scrub everything and take out the trash and whatnot.
Eventually, the morning rush starts to slow down and the customers are fewer and fewer. By the time it gets to the point where it’s just one customer every few minutes he feels like he’s sweaty all over and dead on his feet.
“Is it just me or was that rush busier than normal?” He asks, washing some mugs.
“It’s just you,” she teases and he huffs. “No, but I agree, this place is getting busier and busier.”
“Well at least that means we won’t lose our jobs,” Simon says.
“Yeah, we’ll just lose our lives in the process,” Maja snorts and Simon laughs.
“Thanks for dealing with that woman earlier.”
“No problem,” Maja smiles. “That’s my job. Saving you from mean old ladies.”
“My knight in shining armor,” he bats his eyelashes at her and she smacks him with a towel, causing him to yelp and the two of them to laugh.
“Hey,” she begins, gathering up utensils to wash. “I forgot to ask how your date with Marcus was last week. You guys went to that new restaurant right?”
He smiles, both at the memory of that night and at the fact she even remembers that and is kind enough to ask. “It was great. It had the best Indian food. Like I’m talking mouth-watering. One of those places where it’s definitely someone’s grandma with the best secret recipes cooking in the back.”
He doesn’t usually share much if any of his personal life with any of the other baristas just because he mostly likes to keep to himself, and even with Maja he doesn’t usually say much, but they’d been working late that day and she’d been there when Marcus came to pick him up for their date. He’d looked so handsome dressed in a suit and had even brought Simon flowers. He really is so lucky to have a boyfriend like that.
It’s like Maja reads his mind because she says, “You’re so lucky oh my gosh. I mean Marcus seems like the perfect boyfriend. He plans all these dates for you guys and shows up with a bouquet. Like can he give all the horrible idiots I go on dates with some tips?”
Simon laughs. “I agree. And all those idiots don’t deserve you. You’ll find the right one, I know it. In the meantime, if any of these guys are mean to you I’ll hunt them down.”
“Oh and do what?” She laughs. “How’s your pocket-sized ass even gonna reach up high enough to hit them, huh?”
And this time it’s his turn to smack her with a towel.
For the rest of his shift, his thoughts are consumed by Marcus. They’ve been together for about two years now. He’d known of Marcus since he was young since everyone knows everyone in Bjärstad, but he’d only really gotten to know him the summer before his last year of Gymnasium. They started dating that summer, and eventually were long-distance as Simon completed his last Gymnasium year and Marcus started university. Eventually the following year, Simon hadn’t chosen the same college as his boyfriend on purpose but he’d coincidentally loved Uppsala University’s music education program and wanted to go anyway, and Marcus already being there was a bonus. Now he’s almost finished with his first year and he’s proud to say he loves the program even more than he did when he started.
His real dream that he doesn’t really tell most people aside from his two friends, and Marcus once, is to become a singer. But pursuing that dream is a lot less stable and like Marcus said he’d have to be one in a million to succeed at that. Simon really does enjoy his music ed classes though, and he can see himself doing it in the future as a career and be just fine.
Eventually, his shift is over and he bids Maja farewell, thankful that it’s a weekend so that he doesn’t have classes like usual after this tiring shift.
He sets aside the ingredients for dinner, a simple chicken meal with some dill gravy sauce, and hums to the playlist he’d put on in the background while he works. He debates recording a cover for his Instagram that has a few hundred people or so that like them but decides he can do it sometime tomorrow maybe since Marcus will be home soon.
The internship in finance that Marcus works after his classes usually has him back home a lot later than Simon, so Simon usually cooks for the two, an arrangement he doesn’t mind. Usually, Marcus doesn’t work weekends but apparently, there was some big deal or trade or something today, Simon can never really follow what’s happening in that world, so Marcus was working today as well.
He works on the meal, singing along and mentally going through a checklist of everything he needs to complete for homework this weekend as he waits for Marcus to come home.
Eventually, his boyfriend does, greeting him with a “Hey beautiful. Is that dill chicken? You’re amazing. I love it when you cook for me baby,” his boyfriend gathers him in his arms and presses a kiss to his hair. Simon returns the embrace and the two stay like that for a moment, content to be in each other’s arms.
"I love you so much," his boyfriend whispers. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. All day I kept thinking about how happy I am to come home to you every night. How lucky I am to have this life with you."
Simon takes in his boyfriend fully, and he can’t lie, Marcus coming home from work in a suit every time really does it for him. He reaches up and loosens Marcus’ tie a bit, making his boyfriend smile. Marcus never loosens it on his own. He’s always a perfectionist in every aspect of his life.
“I love you too,” Simon answers, letting his hands trace along Marcus’ chest, tugging at the lapels of his suit. He knows Marcus will probably still his wandering hands soon, but his boyfriend’s not always so forthcoming with his vows of love anymore, so he wants to appreciate the moment while he has it. “And I love our life.”
He presses up on his tiptoes and kisses his boyfriend softly, smiling as he feels Marcus’ hands find his waist. Marcus keeps Simon close to him, their noses touching even after the kiss is over. His boyfriend has sort of always needed more moments of affection like this than he does, and it was difficult in the beginning because Simon wasn’t used to touching someone all the time, but he got used to it. He doesn’t mind giving it like this. It makes him feel wanted and needed, and Simon’s always wanted to feel wanted.
Eventually, they separate and Marcus asks, “When will dinner be ready baby?”
“About twenty minutes,” he answers, and then he looks at the kitchen island. “Wait, did you get me chocolate?” He smiles.
“I did. I told you, I missed you so much today, my darling. I got your favorite, the strawberry-filled ones.”
“That’s so thoughtful,” he smiles, “thank you.” He kisses Marcus’ cheek, not having the heart to tell his boyfriend that his favorite is actually the raspberry-filled one.
Marcus heads off to change out of his work clothes and Simon finishes preparing dinner. Marcus arrives back again just as Simon is placing the meal onto two plates. Because it’s the weekend and because he’d had a long shift and prepared dinner he pours himself a glass of wine and gets a beer for Marcus, placing the glass and the bottle next to the plates on the table.
He sees his boyfriend’s eyes linger on his wine glass but doesn’t say anything as he sits down across from Simon. After they eat in silence for a few moments Simon asks, “How was your day at work today? Sucks you had to go in on a Saturday when you don’t usually.”
“It wasn’t ideal,” Marcus agrees. “And I was working on this account with this guy and I’ve had to do a few other projects with him. It’s always that he either has nothing prepared or too much, and this time he had pages and pages of research ready, even some of the parts that I had done he had re-done and it was like he was doing it to say that I was incompetent or something.”
“I’m sure that’s not true. Maybe he just hadn’t realized you’d done those parts?”
“I swear most of the people at that place don’t have a clue what they’re doing,” his boyfriend rambles on, not acknowledging Simon’s words at all. “How they keep their jobs is beyond me.”
“Mhm,” Simon nods, showing he’s listening.
“Although that guy I’m pretty sure just is working there for this year because his father or something got him the job. No one at that place knows what real, true hard work to get you where you are is.”
“That’s frustrating,” Simon agrees and then decides to ask about the client Marcus was going to meet with, hoping the meeting went well and that it could steer this conversation in a more positive direction.
“It fell through. Although the account wasn’t even supposed to go to me in the first place so they just put me there at the last minute. It was set up to fail from the start. I wouldn’t be surprised if they wanted it that way.”
Simon lets Marcus ramble on, although he’s not entirely convinced he agrees with Marcus’ theory that all his co-workers are out to get him or something. He nods along to the conversation and takes a sip of his wine, the liquid going sour in his mouth when he sees the look his boyfriend is giving him. For some reason, Marcus has never liked when he drinks, and it’s probably because this is a new thing for Simon and he knows his boyfriend worries about him. Marcus cares about him.
He decided one day that he wanted to let himself try it, to not let his father’s actions prevent him from even experiencing it at all. From the start of experimenting until even now he’s always been extremely cautious with alcohol, enjoying a glass of wine or a cocktail here and there, but never drinking to get drunk. He’d tried that exactly once and the feeling of not being fully in control freaked him out so badly that he’d spent the entire next day in bed, afraid of becoming someone he’s not, someone like his dad. So now he’s more than aware of his limits and is proud that he can enjoy a single glass of wine or something every now and again.
Still, the weight of his boyfriend’s eyes on him makes him swallow and push the glass away from him, picking at his food as Marcus continues speaking.
Eventually, his boyfriend’s complaints about his job are done and Simon brings up this idea he’s been stewing on for a little while because they both deserve a nice break.
“Hey, um, I was thinking that both of us have been working really hard with jobs and classes and stuff and maybe we could take a weekend and go on a little vacation or something? Not anywhere far but maybe just rent a place for the weekend outside the city or something? Ayub just had a trip to Spain through his university and I’m not saying we should go that far or anything but–”
“We can’t just go to Spain for a weekend,” his boyfriend sighs.
“No, exactly I wasn’t saying we should go that far but–”
“So Ayub’s telling you now we should take a vacation?”
“No?” Simon says, confused because that’s not what he was saying. “He was just telling me about his trip going to a conference but his school was nice enough to let him have an extra day there to sightsee and I thought it could be fun to go sightsee, maybe at a museum close to here or somewhere else not too far.”
“Was this your idea or Ayub’s?”
“It was my idea, but why would it matter who’s it was? I’m just wondering if you’d want to–”
“Simon I don’t have time to be dropping everything and going on weekend vacations. Maybe you can just change shifts at the coffee shop but if my internship needs me over the weekend I have to be here.”
“Okay.”
“I’m sorry, baby. You can tell Ayub thanks for his suggestion but we won’t be needing it.”
“It was my–”
“And tell him to leave things he doesn’t know about alone, alright?”
“Why are you even bringing him into this? You don’t need to be, like, jealous of Ayub, Marcus. He’s been my friend since we were little.”
“If I were jealous of someone it certainly wouldn’t be him,” Marcus says. “I am not a fan of when you just insinuate things you believe about me.” And then he abruptly stands up from the table and walks away. Simon hears the door to their bedroom shutting.
He just sits there, staring down at his half-eaten plate wondering where everything had gone wrong and how they’d even gotten into an argument in the first place. It had all been fine. Marcus had gotten him chocolates and he’d made a good dinner, and they were just talking, even if it was only about Marcus’ work it was fine. And all Simon had done was simply bring up the possibility of the two of them going away for the weekend.
He wants to go into the bedroom and ask Marcus what it was that even made him so upset, but he knows his boyfriend and knows that while Simon is someone who wants to talk things out, Marcus is someone who needs time to himself before he does so and Simon respects that.
Instead, he busies himself with putting away the leftovers and doing the dishes. When he’s done he spends the rest of the evening alone, working on homework and trying to focus on creating his lesson plan assignment for one of his music Ed classes.
Eventually, Simon packs up his homework and heads into the bedroom when his eyes start to become tired and he sees Marcus getting ready for bed. Simon doesn’t exactly know what to say so he stays quiet, sliding out of his pants and into his boxers. He takes off his shirt too like he usually does as he hears Marcus slide under the covers, but instead of getting in bed too, he heads to one of his drawers. He usually sleeps with no shirt on but for some reason now he just feels too exposed like this, like the ache in his heart will be visible if he doesn’t have something to cover it, so he opens the drawer and takes out an oversized shirt of his and slides it on.
He turns the light off and climbs into bed, lifting up the covers and pulling them over himself, leaving some space between himself and Marcus’ back where his boyfriend is on his side and facing the wall away from him.
“Goodnight,” he whispers out into the darkness, reaching out to touch his boyfriend’s arm gently. His boyfriend just shifts farther from him in response and Simon sighs, turning over onto his back and staring up at the ceiling. He knows that Marcus is just more of an emotional person than he is and that he deals with conflict differently, but Simon wishes that sometimes it could be easier to resolve things with the person he loves.
He lies awake for a while, looking at the sliver of moonlight coming in from the little gap in the curtains. He just wishes he knew what it was he did that was so wrong.
When Simon wakes up the first thing that he notices after the obnoxious blaring of his alarm is that he’s cold, and he tugs the blankets up closer to his neck. When he shifts a little he notices that the spot beside him is empty and that his boyfriend’s not there.
He blinks open his eyes which are blurry with sleep and rubs them, and as he wakes up more he hears the sound of his boyfriend in the kitchen. It’s then when he finally fully wakes up that he remembers their fight, if they could even call it that, from last night and he sighs as he sits up. He wanders to go get some dark jeans and a dark shirt from the closet because unfortunately, he has a shift this Sunday because he’d had to have someone cover his due to a university event during the week.
He pads to the bathroom, sets his clean clothes on the corner of the sink, and steps into the shower. As the water runs down his body his mind finally becomes conscious enough to think. He hopes that when he goes into the kitchen Marcus will be in a better mood than he was last night and ready to talk about what happened. He’s not exactly hopeful though because his boyfriend sort of has a tendency to go a little silent after a jealous episode.
It used to be flattering, honestly very flattering to have a boyfriend who was into him so much that he would get jealous and protective over him. It always sent a flood of adrenaline through him if they were at a bar or something and some guy tried to come up and talk to him, only to have his boyfriend slide a protective arm around him and look decidedly very hot telling whatever guy to walk away and that Simon was his.
It still is a pretty big turn-on for Simon if he’s being completely honest, but more so when it’s directed toward someone who’s actually sexually interested in Simon. For the past few months, it feels like Marcus has been getting more jealous of anyone who’s involved in Simon’s life and close to him, and sometimes it can be a little frustrating, especially directed at someone like Ayub who Simon sees more as a brother rather than someone he would ever be romantically interested in.
He steps out of the shower and slides his clothes on, putting some styling gel into his curls and scrunching it in, deciding to just let his hair air dry now rather than going through the whole ordeal of drying it.
He heads into the kitchen where Marcus is sitting on the island drinking his coffee, engrossed in his phone.
“Hey,” Simon tries, reaching for the coffee pot and pouring himself a mug.
“Hey,” his boyfriend says, barely sparing him a glance before turning back to his phone.
Knowing he won’t get any further judging by Marcus’ demeanor he pours himself some cereal, sitting next to his boyfriend at the island but not saying anything further, quietly slurping up the milk from the bowl when he’s done. He drops the bowl and spoon into the sink and rinses it quickly, before heading into the bathroom to brush his teeth.
He grabs his bag and phone and slides on his shoes, checking his pocket to make sure he has his wallet and keys before he goes.
“Bye,” Simon says, trying to sound cheerful as he stands by the door. His boyfriend finally looks up at him fully and Simon offers a little wave and a smile.
“So you’re just going to leave without us talking about it?” his boyfriend asks.
“What do you mean?”
“Simon we had an entire disagreement and now you’re just acting like it didn’t happen.”
“Oh,” he says, feeling a little stupid now. “I didn’t know you wanted to talk about it. I was going to last night but you walked away.”
“And you didn’t even bother to follow me? Simon, baby, you can’t just blame us not talking on me.”
“I wasn’t,” he replies. “I’m sorry, I just know you normally like to have some space so I was just letting you–”
“Well, you could have asked instead of assuming.”
“Sorry,” he murmurs. He wishes he were better at being a boyfriend and saying the right things. It feels like lately he always seeks to get it wrong. He looks at the time on his phone. He might be a few minutes late if they talk about it now, but that’s okay. “Would you want to talk about it now then?”
“No. We’ll talk later,” his boyfriend says, like it’s obvious, and then returns back to looking at his phone.
“Okay.”
He knows Maja can tell he’s been a little distracted all shift today, but thankfully she doesn’t say anything about it and they just continue working, business as usual. It hasn’t been extremely busy today which he’s thankful for, although the distraction of it might have been a good thing.
It’s just that things have slowly been changing since he and Marcus moved in together. His boyfriend used to be the most charming and attentive person Simon knew. He was always there for Simon, for everything he needed, and sometimes knew what Simon needed before he even knew himself. It was nice to be taken care of like that, especially when sometimes he would tire himself out from always trying to look after everyone else. It was a nice feeling to feel like there was someone who only had eyes for Simon and that nothing else mattered to them. It was a feeling he’d never experienced before and he’d become accustomed to the feeling. He craved it.
And things are still like that, Simon still feels wonderfully desired by his boyfriend, it’s just that there are more little things that go with it. He disapproves of Simon’s love to go out and dance with his friends to up-and-coming singers in hole-in-the-wall music clubs. He hadn’t liked it when Simon expressed his desire to try alcohol for the first time and hasn’t liked it every time Simon’s taken a sip since. He tells Simon he’s a talented musician but doesn’t think becoming a singer is possible or that even music education is a prosperous career. And he’s become disinterested in his friends, making it harder for Simon to go visit Rosh and Ayub even though the two share an apartment not too far away between here and Stockholm. The only person Marcus seems to not mind him being with is his mama and his sister.
But it’s not anything bad really, and he knows it’s just because Marcus is protective of him. He always tells Simon it’s because he’s gone through a lot in life and he deserves to have someone who’s there for him. With the alcohol thing, he knows it’s because Marcus is worried he’ll end up like Micke, no matter how much Simon’s assured him that he won’t, but it’s nice to have someone looking out for him even if it can be frustrating.
Most of all though, Simon loves Marcus. Their relationship is good, and his mama, Maja, his friends, and everyone loves Marcus too. They work together, and Simon likes their life, and these issues that come up are just regular relationship issues, normal for the post-honeymoon phase that they’re in.
When his shift is over he’s surprised to see Marcus arrive in the coffee shop, holding a little bouquet of flowers.
“Shut up, you guys are so cute it’s not fair,” Maja elbows him and he swats her away. “Go on, I’ll finish closing up.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. You would do the same for me if I ever had a cute guy walking in here with flowers for me.”
“I guess that’s true. And you will,” he laughs and she just rolls her eyes.
He walks over to his boyfriend, and he can feel the tension that’s been resting in his body all day start to flow away as Marcus greets him and presses a kiss to his cheek.
“Hi darling, how was your shift?”
“It was good,” Simon says. “How was your day?”
“Missed you,” Marcus replies, handing the flowers to Simon. “I was thinking. You got all your homework done last night, right? Maybe we could have a little date night?”
“Sure,” Simon grins as they step out onto the sidewalk. “Where?”
“Anywhere you want, baby, I just want to spend time with you.”
“Maybe we can try that new Tapas place that opened up down the block?”
His boyfriend smiles and presses a kiss to his lips. “Of course,” he breathes and then kisses Simon again. They walk back to the apartment so that Simon can change for dinner, and he feels excited butterflies flapping in his stomach. The whole time Marcus doesn’t let go of his hand and the smile doesn’t leave his boyfriend’s face, and Simon tries to ignore the nagging feeling in his subconscious that’s trying to remind him that Marcus didn’t actually apologize for what happened last night.
But Marcus is so happy and so eager to touch him and kiss him and tell him how beautiful he is while he gets dressed for their date, that he can’t help but forget what he was mad about in the first place.
The entire week passes by in a blur of smiles, kisses, homework, laughter, classes, the cafe’s espresso machine breaking, making out, being picked up with flowers from work, and happiness.
On Friday afternoon he and Marcus get out of class at the same time and walk home together. Not even a second after the door to their apartment is closed Marcus kisses him and Simon smiles into the kiss, smiling harder when his boyfriend announces they’re going to spend the weekend together in their apartment. It’s not long after that that Simon’s coming apart with Marcus’ hand wrapped around him, swallowing Simon’s moans into kisses.
As the weekend goes by it reminds him more and more of when they first started dating. They talk all weekend, joke, order takeout, and watch bad movies as they laugh at them together. His heart is practically singing from their closeness and he can’t remember the last time they truly spent time together like this, just enjoying each other’s company.
They’re playing Monopoly and Marcus is winning, but Simon keeps complaining it’s only because his boyfriend is getting a degree in finance so somehow he must have an unfair advantage. His boyfriend keeps laughing and kissing him, and Simon’s never felt so happy. Eventually, the game is completely forgotten and Simon crawls into his boyfriend’s lap, straddling him and kissing him with everything he has.
He feels himself smile as a hungry look appears in his boyfriend’s eyes as he looks Simon up and down, before promptly kissing Simon’s neck, tracing it from his jaw to his collarbone. Simon can’t help the moan that passes his lips and he relishes the feeling of being desired like this.
“You’re so hot darling it’s not fair,” his boyfriend continues kissing him and Simon shifts his hips on purpose to feel his boyfriend hard under him. His boyfriend gasps and Simon smirks, victorious. “I know we’ve already had sex this weekend but I already want you again.”
“Please,” Simon breathes. “Please fuck me.”
He feels his boyfriend’s hands freeze against him for a second, probably at Simon’s vulgar words, but then his boyfriend’s back to kissing him. They stay attached to each other in the living room for a while longer and then tug each other into the bedroom, where Marcus undresses him and opens him up with his fingers while Simon squirms against the sheets, unable to suppress the noises coming out of his mouth.
And then, with a few more kisses and a “you’re so gorgeous like this for me,” he feels Marcus enter him and then start to fuck into him slowly as Simon adjusts to the feeling. It takes a bit to adjust because he hadn’t really had Marcus’ fingers inside him for what felt like long enough but he doesn’t really say anything. Once he feels his muscles relax and pleasure starts to overtake the discomfort he lets his fingers rest against Marcus’ neck, looking up at his boyfriend and smiling into their kiss.
“Harder please,” Simon murmurs against his boyfriend’s lips and his boyfriend obliges. At the difference of pace, his boyfriend loses his balance a little and one of his hands lands on Simon’s forearm, pushing it into the pillow as Marcus steadies himself. Simon lets out an involuntary moan at the sensation, hoping Marcus will keep it there because he’s asked for this before, to be held down like this, but Marcus had disregarded wanting to do it then and sure enough the hand is gone as fast as it was there.
He can’t help but feel a little disappointed but lets his mind drift back to the sensation happening from his boyfriend being inside of him. Simon pushes his hips against Marcus’ wanting more but Marcus continues at the same pace, and Simon knows better than to try and ask again for otherwise, instead reaching down to stroke himself with his own hand.
Simon wouldn’t necessarily use the word gentle to describe what their sex is like, but it’s certainly not rough either. It’s not bad, it’s just always been very vanilla, and Simon always can’t help but wonder about all sorts of different things he’d like to try. The thing is Simon really likes sex, the closeness, the intimacy, the feeling of being wanted, and he also thinks he’d like it to be a little more overwhelming. He doesn’t know for sure because he’s never actually tried it, but he thinks maybe he’d like it a lot rougher, to get to give up control completely, to be held down, or potentially told what to do.
He’d brought this up a few times to Marcus but every time he’d ended up feeling weird for having such preferences, so he doesn’t really bring it up anymore. Plus, the sex is fine the way it is, and it’s certainly not like he’s going to pressure someone into doing anything they don’t want to do.
So it’s fine. It’s all fine. But sometimes, like this time, Simon wishes it could be more than just fine.
“Oh, fuck,” he hears his boyfriend moan, and then by the jerkiness of his boyfriend's thrusts and his moans, he can tell that he’s coming into the condom. Simon lets go of his own dick where he’s been stroking himself perfunctorily because he just doesn’t feel that into doing it himself anymore right now, instead wrapping his arms around his boyfriend as he feels him slide out and lie his body partly on top of Simon.
They stay like that for a moment wrapped up in each other, and then Marcus shifts back onto his knees so he can slide off the condom. He gets off the bed and tosses it into the trash, then heads back onto the bed.
“Oh you didn’t–” Marcus says, as if he’s just now noticing that Simon didn’t come, and Simon nods.
“Don’t worry baby, I’ll make you feel so good,” his boyfriend says, wrapping a hand around him. “You want me to, yeah?”
And he isn’t exactly sure that he does. He’s kind of tired now, and he doesn’t really feel as in the mood now as he did before, and he knows of course that if he said no Marcus would never do anything he doesn’t want to.
But then he remembers how absolutely blissful this week has been. How loved he’s felt and how fun it’s been. How things have felt just like they used to. And he doesn’t want to be the reason that’s ruined. He remembers that Marcus gets a little annoyed and distant whenever Simon says that he’s okay, that he’s satisfied and doesn’t need to continue with Marcus’ hand afterward, even though Marcus will deny ever feeling that way.
And he just doesn’t want that strange, awkward cloud to hang over them afterward instead of the post-sex bliss that they could have, so he nods, letting out a moan that he manufactures from the back of his throat as Marcus starts to move his hand.