Archive of Our Own

His first impression when he arrived at his new private school was this: the people there were strange.

And Yuuta wasn't a stranger to strangeness. 

He himself had nightmares and hallucinations, believing that he saw these monsters that no one else could and crying to his parents until they finally had enough and sent him to an elusive boarding school that claimed to help “troubled teens” like him.

Staring up at the building in front of him, Yuuta barely registered his little sister giving him a hug or his parents kissing his cheeks while setting his bags down and wishing him the best. 

In front of the school, five adults and ten teenagers stood in various states of uniform. On one end, a teen with spiky black hair wore a neat jacket and slacks with no wrinkles. On the other end was a teen with piercings and streaked hair, and no uniform in sight. 

Yuuta turned around to get back in his parents’ car, but the back door shut and the tires peeled as the vehicle sped out of the parking lot with his sister waving from the back seat. Dread bubbled in his stomach. 

A hand landed on Yuuta’s shoulder and he flinched, turning his gaze up to the lanky man with the shit-eating grin. 

“So you're the new kid, huh? I’m Gojo Satoru, and no one here out-crazies me. I’ll be your teacher.”

“I’m not crazy,” Yuuta protested, even as he knew that if he wasn't crazy, or at least even a little bit, then he wouldn't have been dropped off here in the first place. “I swear, they're real.”

Gojo nodded, but the sunglasses covering his eyes completely hid his face from view. “Sure, kid. We all see them too. Anyway, get your bags. Toge will take you up to the dorms.” He made a gesture with his hand, and from a trio within the big group of teens emerged what must've been the most beautiful boy Yuuta had ever seen. 

With a delicate, fairy-like air of indifference about him, the boy approached Yuuta and bowed his head in a brief greeting. At the risk of sounding like an early 2000s fanfic writer, Yuuta found himself staring at all of the boy’s features: he had thick lower lashes and blunt-cut bangs that framed his eyes, a lean body that was covered up with an oversized shirt and a long-sleeved turtleneck beneath it, and the lower half of his face covered by a cute mask with a cat mouth on it. Yuuta glanced down. The boy’s ankles were thin and dainty. 

Only one thought came to mind: this boy was ethereal.

Yuuta could feel the blush rising in his cheeks, his heartbeat quickening and the pulse in his wrists thumping so hard his fingers felt numb. He's so pretty. Is he even real?

The boy grabbed two of Yuuta’s bags, hoisting one over his shoulder and pulling the wheeled one behind himself as he jerked his head for Yuuta to follow. Yuuta grabbed his other two bags and immediately followed, somewhat dazed by the speed in which his whole life had changed. First, the Incident. And now, crazy school with a crush-at-first-sight who was probably actually crazy. After all, the school was for troubled teens. Of which, he was not. 

As he stepped into the building, Yuuta threw one last look behind him—just in time to see a thing peeking from the shadows of the treeline behind his new classmates. He spun around and hurried after the boy —Toge— who was already turning a corner at the end of the eastern hallway. 

Even with the warm autumn sunlight streaming through the windows, a chill permeated the air and Yuuta just couldn't shake off the anxiety that plagued him. 

If he was here, then what did the other students do to get here…?

Other than the incident that landed him here, he was sure he wasn't crazy. Could he say the same about the other students?

When he got to his room, Yuuta looked around. In the corner next to the window was a loft bed with a desk under it, and a bookshelf directly opposite to the bed on the other side of the room next to the dresser. A full-length mirror was hung next to the closet door, which was hidden behind the door leading into the room, and when Yuuta opened the closet door, there was only one shelf to hang his clothing from. 

He closed the door and looked back at his bed, which the other boy had climbed up onto and now peered down, watching Yuuta with an unblinking stare. Slightly unnerved, he reached down to unzip his duffel bag and put away his clothing. He could feel the heavy weight of the boy’s watchful eye, never leaving him even when he completely turned his attention to unpacking. 

As the sun dipped below the horizon, bathing his room in deep hues of orange and red, Yuuta suddenly remembered

—Toge had been in his bed.

He glanced up, silent as a mouse, only to realize the boy was gone. When he had slipped away, Yuuta had no idea.

A nervous unease crept over him.

The thought that this boy could come and go without a trace sent shivers down his spine. But he had no time to linger on the unsettling realization. A slimy hand waved from his window, shattering his train of thought. Without hesitation, he yanked the curtain shut, blocking the hand from view and plunging the room into darkness.

“Yuuuuuta~ come play!”

Yuuta flipped all the lights on and crawled into bed, curling up into the corner and staring into the middle of his room, forcing his breaths to slow as he fought off the panic rising in his chest. 

I’m not crazy, Yuuta thought helplessly. I’m really not. 

There had to be a logical explanation for the strange happenings going on around him. There had to be. 

His lights flickered on and off, and he stifled a sob as he sank into his bed and settled in for another long, sleepless night. 

Birds chirped outside as the morning sun rose, peeping in through the cracks of Yuuta’s curtains. He was still huddled in his bed, shivering as his light switch finally stayed in the on position and whatever had tormented him left. 

Rap-pap-pap. 

The gentle knock on his door was accompanied by a sing-song ‘Yuuta-kun!’ and a head of white hair sticking in his door despite his lack of response. 

“Oh dear, you really don't look so good.”

Yuuta gave the man a dead-eyed stare, barely registering through his exhaustion that it was the same man as the day before. His head throbbed as the beginnings of a migraine formed behind his eyes and in his temples. Crawling out of bed, he took the uniform handed to him and thanked the man—Gojo.

“Make sure you come down to breakfast. Panda made the best pancakes. Suguru even cut some fruit to go with it.”

Yuuta knew neither of those people, but a prepared breakfast was better than no breakfast at all. He would have to thank them and reintroduce himself before leaving for whatever class was first. 

Gojo led him to the kitchen area, where everyone was crowded around one long table and the food was passed around freely. For a moment, Yuuta was reminded of his family—or at least, the way his family used to be. Back before the Incident occurred and changed everything.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he stepped forward and waved. “Uh… hi again. I’m Okkotsu Yuuta.”

The girl with a reddish-brown bob waved back. “Hey, I’m Kugisaki Nobara. What are you in for?”

The table went silent, and everyone turned to look at him—except for the man with the bun, who dished a spoonful of strawberries onto two girls' plates. Gojo clapped his hands excitedly. 

“How fun! Let's all tell each other what we're here for, then.”

Nobara rolled her eyes and said sarcastically, “Well, we already know we're all–” she lifted her hands to add air quotes, “‘mentally disturbed’, according to our friends and families. I’m just curious what kind landed you here.”

A boy with a panda mask on—Yuuta assumed he was the aforementioned “Panda” —   nudged her with his elbow. “Hey, don't be rude. You know how traumatizing the first few days can be.”

Yuuta cleared his throat. “Um… some stuff happened. And my parents got worried. But I’m not crazy! I’m not, uh, dangerous.”

A girl with green hair piped up, “Yeah, right. And pigs can fly. Who'd you hurt?” Panda-hat-boy shot her a look, but she ignored him and pressed on, “You have a meltdown in public? Started losing it on a train? Knocked over a bunch of shit in a grocery store and claimed it was the creatures?”

“No!” Yuuta wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. “Nothing like that. I just… hear things sometimes. It's just… depression or something. PTSD. Whatever.”

The girl whistled. “Okay, mister-mysterious-backstory. Don't tell us.”

“A- hem!” Gojo coughed loudly, and pointed at the table. “How's the fruit? Pancakes? Suguru and Panda outdid themselves, I'd say.” He touched the bun-man’s shoulder, and they traded a soft look. 

Ohhh, Yuuta thought as Gojo’s thumb traced a small circle on the man’s shirt. I see. 

At the end of the table, the pretty boy scooted over and patted the seat next to him. Yuuta sat next to him, and everyone’s conversations resumed as though nothing had happened. Yuuta took a shaky bite, his stomach churning uncomfortably as the weight of several stares rested on him throughout breakfast. 

Most of his food ended up pushed around the plate, uneaten. Next to him, Toge hadn't touched any of his food either. When everyone was done eating, Toge scooped his plate up and waved, disappearing quickly and leaving Yuuta wondering what he was up to. 

“Why didn't he eat?”

The green-haired girl, Maki, shot back, “Why didn't you eat?”

Yuuta took a small bite of strawberry. 

Panda stretched next to him, yawning. “Toge has a… small appetite. He's also a bit of a picky eater. Don't worry about it.”

Yuuta shrugged; it seemed reasonable enough, he supposed. He knew plenty of picky eaters, including his little sister. Gojo explained how he would have science and math after breakfast, and after lunch they would work on reading and English. Shoko taught the first science lesson so she showed Yuuta to the west hallway, where all of the classes would be held. The classes were divided by grade level, and then the teachers would rotate between them. 

In his class, it was only himself, Toge, Panda, and Maki. One of the twins, Mimiko, was also in their class. 

Yuuta glanced at the girl, who clutched her stuffed bunny tightly in her arms. She seemed to be nervous — though, who wouldn't be? He couldn't get his own leg to stop bouncing. His nerves felt like live wire, and every little noise in the classroom had him flinching and looking for the source.

Gojo walked in the door and pointed at the board. “Okay, everyone! No more chatter; we have to get down to business.”

Toge made a sign, and Maki smacked the back of his head. 

“No, dumbass, not to defeat the Huns.”

Toge rubbed the back of his head and blinked innocently. But, when he caught Yuuta staring, the glimmer turned mischievous. He winked, and Yuuta turned away to hide the rising heat in his cheeks. 

He tuned back in to Gojo’s lecture, which had gone silent. He was looking at Yuuta expectantly—shit, did he ask a question?

Yuuta wet his lips with his tongue. “Um…” His surroundings gave him no indication as to what the lesson was about. The projector was off, and although Gojo held a piece of chalk in his hand, there was nothing written on the board. 

Panda whispered, “Thirty.”

“Th-thirty?” 

His classmates cracked up immediately, cackling as Gojo snorted and replied, “Your name is thirty?”

Yuuta sank into his seat, wishing the ground would open up and swallow him whole. Even worse, the hand that he had seen in his bedroom window was now outside the classroom window, palm facing his direction and trembling. He tried not to look.

“No, sir… uh, my name is Okkotsu Yuuta. I’m sixteen.”

Gojo hummed under his breath. “Yes, yes. I figured you were either fifteen or sixteen.” When Yuuta glanced again towards the window, Gojo added, his voice eerily light as he asked, “See something?” 

Yuuta turned to look at him, a cold sweat dripping down his spine. Everyone was silently watching him fidget in his seat. He felt the weight of their gazes squeeze the air out of his throat as he croaked, “N-no, sir.” 

The hand made a clawing motion, and Yuuta shifted in his seat, sneakily unsticking his damp shirt from his back. 

His stomach dropped when Gojo made the same hand motion and said, “Okay, then. If you say so.”

Yuuta collapsed in his bed, stifling a scream with the pillow. That stupid hand had followed him, appearing in every window he saw and making him want to yell at it to leave him alone. Really, was that too much to ask? He was at a school for disturbed kids now, so why was he the only one who seemed to be seeing things?

Instead of answers, he only found an empty loneliness that settled into the pits of his stomach. Everyone else seemed… normal. 

After crawling out of bed and moving on from his wallowing, Yuuta opened his door to grab a snack in place of dinner. On the other side, Toge’s fist was half-raised, and his body was stiff. 

“Ah! I’m sorry, I didn't mean to startle you,” Yuuta apologized and held his hands out. For a brief moment, Toge's pupils shrank, and a soft rattling noise filled the hall. Though, his expression smoothed over so quickly that Yuuta wouldn't have noticed it if he had blinked. He wondered if he had imagined it, but he elected to ignore it and move on. “I’m heading out to grab a snack. Do you maybe want to go with me?”

Toge's eyes sparkled, and he took Yuuta by the arm. His hands were frigid, but Yuuta was so distracted by the way Toge leaned into his personal space and squeezed his bicep that he didn't notice the cold at all. 

The konbini sold sandwiches, onigiri, and other quick bites that Yuuta wasn't interested in — he was there for one thing and one thing only, and that was ramen. Next to him, Toge carried a Pokemon plushie that had been set out by the register. Yuuta raised an eyebrow, but didn't question it.

Not everyone likes to eat in front of others, he reminded himself. It did seem pretty weird that Toge wouldn't eat even when it was only the two of them, though. Maybe it's just because I’m new. 

Yuuta grabbed a spicy chicken ramen and a bag of garlic shrimp chips, then — once he got to the register — he threw a box of pocky on top of it. Strawberry, just like… 

… Her favorite. 

Yuuta put the box back, his hunger disappearing in an instant. Toge tilted his head and raised his eyebrows, then put the box back on the counter. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Yuuta shook his head and reached for it. Toge swatted his hand away and pointed at himself. 

“Oh… for you?” 

Toge nodded. 

Yuuta gave him a smile, but the melancholy feeling tied to his thoughts of her made it feel more like a grimace. 

Toge made a soft noise, then paid for everything. Yuuta protested, but the boy paid him no mind and grabbed their bag. When they stepped outside and the chilly wind ruffled their collars, Toge once again held Yuuta's arm and rested his cheek against him. His scarf moved, as if he had opened his mouth, but Toge never spoke a word. 

When they arrived back at the dorms, Toge plopped himself on Yuuta's bed and dug into the box of pocky. Other than opening it, he didn't touch it. Yuuta began to heat water, glancing anxiously at his closed curtains until his ramen was done and he was safely tucked into the corner of his bed. Toge watched him eat with unblinking eyes that didn't waver in the slightest.

Yuuta focused on his chopsticks and fished around for the little bits of corn, doing anything to keep from thinking about the way Toge's stare made his skin itch with a self-consciousness blush. Maybe this was the other boy’s way of bonding? 

Yuuta supposed there could be worse ways to get to know someone. Namely getting to know their fists. 

Ratta-tap. Ratta-tap-tap-tap. Sccccrrrrrrrrrrrrrrch. 

The mouthful of noodles that Yuuta had slurped lodged in his throat, and he coughed violently until they came back up. Toge leapt from his bed, and ripped the curtains open, smacking a hand against the glass. He looked up at Yuuta with an expression that said he was sorry.

That wasn't important to him, though. Yuuta's voice was shrill with disbelief as he asked, “You can see it?” He changed his question. “You can hear it?” 

Toge flinched. Then, he nodded slowly, his shoulders stiffening as Yuuta jumped from his bed and grabbed him. “Why didn't you say anything? I thought I was insane! Does everyone see them? Can everyone hear them?” He didn't even realize he was shaking the poor boy until he felt Toge's hand on his wrist. It was a cold, vise-like grip that forced Yuuta to let go when Toge’s nails dug into his skin and he twisted and wrenched his wrist down. 

Toge backed away, his eyes flitting around the room as he made a few signs with hands that faltered and stopped when he remembered that Yuuta didn't understand. Yuuta scrambled to salvage whatever had encouraged the odd closeness that Toge displayed before, but it was too late.

“Wait, I’m sorry, I didn't mean to–” 

Yuuta winced as Toge darted away and the door slammed shut behind him. 

Dammit, he thought. I shouldn't have bombarded him. 

Though, now that he knew Toge was aware of whatever it was he was hearing… 

…maybe the others were too. 

The next day in class, Geto clapped his hands in a manner that reminded Yuuta of Gojo. “Toge isn't feeling well! Let's move on.”

Maki raised her hand. 

Geto added, “No questions.”

Maki lowered her hand. 

She leaned over to whisper something in Panda’s ear, and the two traded a look before Maki scribbled something down onto a piece of paper, balled it up, then threw it at Yuuta. 

What happened last night? 

Yuuta hesitated, scribbled down a short ‘IDK’, then slid it back to her — gently. She took one look at it, wrote, then threw it at his head— hard. 

He was acting weird after coming back from your room. If you did something to him, you're dead. 

Yuuta’s wrist throbbed. If he did something to Toge? He couldn't even touch Toge! 

The paper was snatched up, and Geto stared down the bridge of his nose at Yuuta. “Passing notes in class instead of listening?” He clicked his tongue. “You have a lot of nerve for a new student.”

Geto continued his lesson, and Maki jabbed a finger at him from behind Geto’s back. Yuuta slumped down in his chair, defeated.

After class, Yuuta attempted to escape — he packed his bags, snuck over to the door, and even stepped out into the hall—but Maki caught him with a rough shove and a glare.

“What did you do?”

Yuuta’s stomach dropped. “I didn't do anything.”

“Yeah, you did. Toge's been over the moon about having a guy like you join our class, but last night he came back all jumpy and panicked.” She laid her thumb against his Adam’s apple, and he choked as she pressed down. “So, answer the damn question. What did you do?”

“I, I–” Yuuta wheezed, and her hold loosened. “I just asked if everyone can see and hear those things! Wait– what do you mean, ‘a guy like me’?”

Maki let go with a sigh, ignoring the last question. “Oh, that. Yeah, we all see and hear the monsters.” She was so casual about it that it was downright disturbing. “Toge doesn't like them, so don't go bringing them up around him.”

“But he went to my window first!” 

“Oh, shut up. You sound like a whiny little bitch.”

Ouch. Yuuta shut his mouth so hard his teeth ached. Panda rested a hand on Maki’s shoulder. “Maki, that's enough.”

“Nah, he acts like this is delulu-land for crazy kids, but he insists he’s not crazy. Face it!” She gave his chest a vicious poke and snarled, “In the eyes of the public, our friends, and our families, we're all insane!”

Yuuta didn't even realize he was crying until he felt a drop of snot drip down his nose and tasted salt on his tongue. He wiped his face on his sleeve and shouldered his way past Maki, ducking his head and walking briskly back to his dorm. He shut his door and sank to the floor, uncaring even as his window darkened with the shadows of creatures gathering to torment him for the night.

The loneliness sitting like a pit in his gut far outweighed the usual fear that plagued his emotions. 

Yuuta didn't go down for breakfast. He was too anxious, worrying that everyone hated him for saying that he wasn't crazy—hated him for implying that they were, and that he was different from them. Maki’s words stayed with him: rattling around just when he thought he could forget them for a moment, feeding into his paranoia and making it that much harder for him to face everyone.

Most of all, he was anxious that Toge didn't like him anymore. He didn't know that Toge didn't like the monsters being brought up. What if everything was ruined?

When he grew too hungry to stay in his room, he snuck into the kitchen and made toast. He scurried back to his room.

In his room, Toge was sitting cross-legged in his bed. 

Yuuta dropped his toast. “You're here?!” He looked down at the toast, butter-side face-down on his floor, instantly regretting everything. 

Toge waved, hopping down and picking the toast up for Yuuta. He took the plate out of his hands and rested his head against Yuuta’s chest. Yuuta’s heart skipped a beat, and he held still as Toge pressed his nose into his shoulder and closed his eyes. 

In the silence of his room, his blood rushing in his ears was thunderous. He was sure that Toge could hear his heartbeat and how he had made it race so quickly, but Toge —as always— said nothing. He just soaked up Yuuta’s warmth and walked away as if nothing had happened once he was done. 

Did he… not dislike him? 

He trailed after Toge, conflicted. 

“Um, Toge? I’m sorry about the other day. I really am.”

Toge blinked, so slowly that it was almost like he had to think about it in order to do it. He shrugged and held up a notepad from Yuuta’s pillow that had previously gone unnoticed. 

He wrote down a few sentences and raised the paper. I'm not upset. I heard about what happened with Maki. She probably won't say it, but she regrets being so harsh. 

“I did say some insensitive stuff though, so… I understand.” 

It doesn't make it right. If it makes you feel better, I really didn't feel well yesterday. My absence had nothing to do with what happened here. 

Ducking his head, Yuuta mumbled, “I just…” He trailed off, unsure how to continue. 

Toge quickly started writing. 

I like you.

He lowered the paper and made a few lines, wrote some more, then held it back up. 

I like you. I mean like, I REALLY like you. You're sincere, and so warm. 

Yuuta almost dropped his toast again. 

Toge looked away, and just above his scarf, his ears were tinged pink. His hand faltered, and he put down the paper to lift his scarf up and cover his face. 

A laugh bubbled up in Yuuta’s chest, but he covered it with a cough. He settled on a hesitant, “I like you too. You're a little mysterious, but I like it.” Toge's legs swung over the side of the bed, kicking the air lightly as he studied Yuuta's face with an unreadable expression.

Self-conscious, Yuuta lifted a hand to his cheek and fidgeted with his bangs. Finally, Toge hopped down and stretched, his eyes squeezed shut as he lifted his hands high above his head. Yuuta looked away quickly, ashamed of himself for peeking at the stretch of stomach that appeared. He scolded himself mentally when he took another look. 

How could he help himself, though? Toge's stomach looked surprisingly filled out for someone who didn't seem to eat. In fact, Yuuta had expected nothing but skin and bones — instead, the faint outline of muscle under a layer of soft-looking flesh told him that the boy must work out somewhat regularly, and likely was much stronger than he looked. Toge made a soft noise, and Yuuta jerked his head back to see Toge’s eyes wide and brows raised. If he could make a scandalized expression, Yuuta was sure this was it. 

“Sorry! I didn't mean to stare. You just looked different than I expected.”

Toge covered his stomach with his hands, his eyebrows furrowing. 

“No!” Yuuta exclaimed, putting his hands out. “It's cute! You have a cute stomach! I–” 

BANG! 

Yuuta jumped, a chill running down his spine as he turned toward his window. A fist-shaped impression, made by The Hand, had left a crack spidering across the glass. When he looked back at Toge, the boy was gone. 

He backed away from the window, worried that the hand would try to break it completely. Soon, Gojo and Geto showed up with Toge trailing behind them. 

Geto clicked his tongue, his eyes narrowing dangerously, and Gojo, whose hair was ruffled more than usual and whose blindfold was instead a sleeping eye mask, came to a halt next to him. His hands brushed Geto’s waist, but they retreated once he saw what Geto was staring at. 

“Suguru, get ready.”

“Already on it, Satoru.” 

Gojo removed the eye mask, and Yuuta took a step back. The bluest eyes he had ever seen seemed to glow, dangerously cold with an icy glint to them. He raised his hands and began to mumble, a faint glow sparking between his fingers.

Geto removed a string of beads from his hip, presented one, and then let it go. The beads fell to the floor, still, before they began to writhe. They turned into a smaller monster, which leaped towards Yuuta’s window. “Kids, get back!”

The window shattered, raining glass onto the floor as The Hand dragged in a body that Yuuta had no idea that it had. 

His legs turned to jello as recognition slithered in with a rush of memories. 

Memories of The Incident.

Memories of her.

Orimoto Rika.

His deceased girlfriend. 

“Yuuta, you seem… different.”

“What do you mean? How am I different?”

“I don't know what it is, but you keep staring at that one corner. Like, every time classes start, you're staring. Are you seeing something?”

Yuuta shook his head. “I’m not. But… I don't know. For some reason, I can't help but look.”

Rika sat down in the seat next to him and sighed. “You should try not to look. When I walked by, those guys over there were talking about you. I don't want you to get hurt because people think you're…”

“Weird?” 

It wasn't the first time Yuuta had heard it. All his life, people had called him weird. In primary school, he was a bug-eyed freak whose gaze made people feel like they were being suffocated. In junior high, he was the kid no one talked to because he was “haunted”. A rumor had even spread that once, a kid touched him and saw ghosts for a whole day. No one would come near him after that. Now, he was just an everyday loser nerd, who came to class and somehow had a reputation for kissing teachers’ asses when all he did was pay attention and do well on his assignments. Luckily, it wasn't supernatural. But if he kept staring at nothing…

Rika scooted her chair closer and took his hand in hers. Her fingers were long and thin. Different from his own large hands. He clasped his hand around hers and squeezed. “Sorry, Rika. I'll try not to stare. I don't want them to think you're weird for being with me.”

Rika laughed and shook her head. “Nah, they wouldn't. They know I'd kick their asses.” She leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek, her smile brighter than a thousand stars and warmer than the sun. “I like you, Yuuta. Let's get married after we graduate!” 

Yuuta smiled. “I like you too. Where do you want to get married? Your hometown or mine?”

A hand slammed down on his desk, and one of the class bullies leaned into his face. “Hey, Okk-cut-su! Still need your girlfriend to take away your knives? Or have you realized you have nothing to be depressed over?” 

“Hey!” Rika stood up, but the boy waved his hand dismissively. 

“Shut up, I’m not talking to you. Hey pussy, you need your girlfriend to defend you? Whatcha looking at? She's not over there!” He cackled, and his friend came over to join in. 

“Ha, look at his face. He can't even pretend, 'cause he knows he's L-A-M-E lame! What a loser.”

Yuuta snorted. 

The guy leaned over. “What are you laughing about? You a masochist? You like getting degraded?”

“Nah,” Yuuta said, his heart thrumming in his ears as a rush of adrenaline had his next words pouring out. “I’m just surprised you know what all those words mean. And hooray, you can spell lame!” 

Rika giggled and gave them the finger. “You two are so insecure, you have to pick on the one guy in class who minds his own business. We know who the real losers are here.”

“Shut up, bitch. No one asked you.”

“Ooooh, so scary, you called me a bitch. I’m sooo scared.” Rika stuck her tongue out and pretended to gag. “Real scary stuff you got there. I feel so hurt.” Sarcasm dripped off of every word, but the boys were angry all the same. 

“Just you two wait, we'll get you.”

Rika waved them off. “Buh-bye! See ya later!” 

Yuuta tugged on his sleeves and shrank down in his chair, a chill taking over as he realized what he'd done — what he'd said. What if they got revenge? 

They said they would. 

Rika rubbed her thumb against the crease between Yuuta’s brows. “Yuuta, don't make that face. We're all high schoolers; they wouldn't do anything serious.”

“But…”

“No buts. Oh, hey! I forgot to ask you this morning when we got here, but my mom invited you to dinner. I saw her holding Gram-gram’s old ring this morning, too… maaaaaybe it has something to do with that?” Rika nudged him with her elbow, her grin so wide her cheeks dimpled. 

Yuuta laughed, his shadowy worries melting away under the bright light of her confidence. “Is that why you proposed?”

Rika tickled under his chin and kissed his nose. “Ha! The world may never know~”

That afternoon, they walked to Rika’s house taking a slightly longer route than usual, savoring each other’s presence and enjoying the warmth of their entwined fingers. Rika swung their arms between them, her voice too loud even with the whoosh of cars rushing past. 

The moment it happened was too quick to stop, yet so painfully slow in Yuuta’s eyes as her hand was ripped out of his, her body shoved into the road as their classmates got their ill-timed revenge.

The sound of bones crunching under tires, flesh squishing as it was splattered against a front bumper, and squealing brakes and screaming cries as the driver couldn't stop what was happening in time rang out in a horrifyingly beautiful cacophony that only ended in death. 

The boys’ screams were the terrible crescendo to it all — one yelled, “It was an accident! We were just pushing between you two! It's not our fault!”

The other added, “They shouldn't have walked so close to the road!”

And Yuuta couldn't stop them as they fled the scene, his whole body frozen as the carnage of the scene began to replay for the first time before his eyes. He didn't realize he was vomiting until someone grabbed him, and his body thrashed against his will until they let go. 

Standing, laying — whatever he was doing — was when he saw it, his first monster, as clear as day. 

With a mouth that gaped too far open, rotting flesh leaving the teeth exposed through its cheeks, it reached out for him. 

“Help… me… it was… an acci…dent…” 

Yuuta screamed. 

A damp rag was pressed to his forehead, and Yuuta opened his eyes. His lips felt chapped, his throat raw as he attempted to swallow spit that wasn't there. 

Next to him, Toge stared, unblinking, and it took Yuuta a moment to realize he didn't have his scarf on. 

His lips were full in a natural pout, accentuated by silver cheek piercings that drew Yuuta's eyes back to the boy’s plush lips. 

After the barrage of memories, though, all he felt was guilt. It was like he was living his relationship with Rika all over again, yet she was gone and he should’ve moved on. He thought he had moved on. After all, Toge gave him a similar skip in his heart and a flutter in his stomach. His attraction to the other boy was undeniable. 

But, that monster… that monster looked like Rika. It had her face. 

Yuuta shivered, squeezing his eyes shut in an attempt to stop the blood-splattered accident from replaying in front of him. It was a fruitless endeavor. 

He whimpered as the sounds that should never come from a body rang in his ears. Then, a cool weight settled against his chest. 

Toge laid next to him, his head rested over Yuuta's heart and his arm tossed across Yuuta's torso. His body was chilled, and Yuuta hugged him closer without thinking. It was a welcome temperature change from the feverish sweat he worked up while reliving his worst nightmares. Yuuta pressed his face into Toge's hair and breathed in, scrunching his nose at the oddly musty scent —similar to attics and mothballs— that clung to the boy. His gaze flickers down to Toge’s plump lips. He swallows hard, before his eyes dash back up to Toge’s eyes. Watching, patiently waiting. He brushed Toge's bangs out of his eyes, but that's all he could muster up as Toge's tongue darted out to wet his lips. Yuuta squinted. Was that…? No, he must've seen wrong. His mind must be tired after reliving Rika’s death.

Yuuta rested his hand on Toge's hip as he soaked in the comfort of another person’s presence, letting the steady rise and fall of Toge’s breathing lull him into a dreamless slumber. 

After Yuuta had rested, Gojo explained everything to him. Yuuta’s spiritual sight had been opened after seeing such a traumatic death, and, since he didn't know how to handle the onslaught of sights that he'd previously been aware of only in the periphery of his senses, he had unknowingly made himself a target to spirits —both human and monster— seeking help with moving on to the afterlife. 

Unfortunately, that included Rika’s spirit. 

Yuuta sat in bed, digesting all of the new information as Maki, Panda, and Toge sat around him. Toge fed him a slice from the mandarin that he was peeling, and Yuuta’s cheeks felt hot when Maki glowered at him. If looks could kill, he would've been dead ten times over. 

“So… everyone here sees them?”

Maki piped up, “Not exactly. Technically, Panda isn't alive. He's a doll that's been cursed by Yaga-san to hold the original Panda’s spirit. I can't see monsters, but I can hear them. Geto-sensei and Gojo-sensei can even manifest spiritual powers. We're learning how to do the same.”

“Wait, Panda’s not human?”

Panda gave him a small smile. “No. Not everyone is human.”

Yuuta could only imagine what his expression might look like. Bewildered, perhaps, or even astonished?

Either way, he was surprised to learn this information. He wondered who else might not be human. Maybe Yuuji? With his pink hair and facial markings, maybe he was inhuman. Or maybe it was Megumi, who seemed to melt in and out of the shadows around him. Hell, it could even be Toge.

Next to him, Toge held up another orange slice, resting a hand on Yuuta’s cheek, and Yuuta opened his mouth. While munching on it, he decided that it couldn't be Toge. 

Toge brushed Yuuta’s bangs out of his eyes and blinked at him. 

Maki coughed loudly. “I think Yuuta needs to know.”

Toge's hand stiffened, and Yuuta set his sights on the small crease wrinkling between his brows and then small beads of sweat forming at his hairline. 

He's nervous.

Why?

Gojo shook his head. “No, it's better for Yuuta to rest first. Later, he can start the specialized classes that the rest of you take and learn more.”

Maki gestured towards Toge, who was practically climbing into Yuuta’s lap, his arms wrapped securely around Yuuta’s shoulders as he shivered. “No, he needs to–”

“I said, no.” Gojo’s easygoing smile had dropped to a firm line, and his tone left no room for negotiation. Maki jumped to her feet and huffed, slamming the door behind her. 

From beyond the door, Yuuta heard her yell, “See what happens, then! See if he stays!”

The room was silent in her absence, a gloomy atmosphere dampening their moods and shrouding them in a stiflingly thick discomfort. Panda cleared his throat, but otherwise the only sound was the soft tick-tick-tick of the clock. Gojo began to pace the room, his feet scuffling against the floor quietly, until he came to a stop. His mouth opened, closed, then opened again. 

Finally, he turned to Yuuta and said, “I hope you won't be scared away once you see just how deep this school goes. We all want to keep people safe… even though we're different.” There was a heaviness to his tone that cooled the warmth he felt with Toge curled up against him. “We do prioritize safety.”

It sounded like Gojo was trying to reassure himself, which didn't leave Yuuta feeling very confident that everything was okay. He supposed he would just have to find out — hopefully sooner, rather than later. 

Yuuta didn't know when it started, but Toge started to grow weak, with dark circles like bruises appearing under his eyes and his skin growing so pale it seemed to look blue because of his veins. 

Even then, Toge refused to eat.

A month later, during one of their special classes, one of the spirits whom they were trying to help move on went rampant. 

It happened with a bang and a flash—one moment, everything was going smoothly, and the next, the spirit had materialized into a solid form and was smashing the tables next to them. 

Maki cursed, drawing a weapon from who knew where, and Panda balled up his fists, which glowed softly in the now-dark room. Gojo had stepped out, leaving them to handle what they thought was a simple, easy spirit. That is, until the creature grew thrice its size and smashed out all the lights, leaving them in near-total darkness. 

Yuuta clutched the desk next to him, anxiety making his hands feel numb as his pulse throbbed painfully quick. 

A soft hissing sound filled the room—was it a gas leak? Was it the vents? 

“Shit!” Maki yelled. “We have to get out of here! That fucking dumbass; now’s not the time!” Yuuta choked as she grabbed him by the collar and dragged him with her as she ran, leaving him to stumble to keep up with her and avoid getting asphyxiated. 

Panda shot past them like a rocket, throwing them over his shoulders as he did so. “Time to go! Gojo will just have to take care of the aftermath!”

Outside the door, Mimiko ushered them into the hall, her eyes wide with horror as she looked at whatever was happening in the room behind them. She shrieked and slammed the door shut — but not before an unfamiliar voice danced upon Yuuta’s ears.

“Hungry… ssso… hungry…”

Yuuta’s leg bounced so hard the bench was rattled beneath him. 

Maki even slapped a hand on his knee and glared, but his nervous jitters simply moved from that leg to the other one, and the bouncing began anew. She sighed and let go. 

“He's still in there.”

Gojo, who had arrived shortly after Mimiko’s screams had echoed down the hall and drawn everyone else from their classrooms, didn't acknowledge Yuuta’s words. So, Yuuta repeated them.

“He's still in there.”

Gojo sucked in a breath. “Yes, I heard. He can handle himself.”

Yuuta surged to his feet, unable to sit any longer, and pointed at the room. “We need to get Toge out of there! That… that monster was too much! He–”

“I understand your concerns, but–”

SLAM! 

The door rattled on its hinges, and blood seeped out from under the frame.

Yuuta’s heart went cold. 

No. 

He couldn't go through this again. 

CRUNCH!

His hands trembled as he lifted them towards the door. 

“Yuuta, don't open it!”

He couldn't lose another person he cared about.

“But Toge’s in there!”

Another person he loved.

Gojo had to grab him and hold him back, arms flexing as Yuuta kicked and flailed, throwing elbows and stomps and anything else he could think of to try and make his teacher let go of him.

“LET ME HELP HIM!”

Maki hit him, a swift chop to the back of the neck, and he dropped like a sack of flour. 

When Yuuta came to, everyone was whispering softly amongst themselves. 

“Where's Toge?”

The air stagnated, and Yuuta sucked in a short breath. The classroom door was still shut. 

No noises came from within.

Yuuta crawled up, fell to his hands and knees, got up again, and slammed against the door. It opened, and the first thing Yuuta noticed was the smell. 

It smelled rancid, like spoiled milk and rotting meat, and under that was the metallic scent of rusty iron blood. The pungent odor was so strong he could feel it like a weight on his tongue, and he covered his nose and mouth with his arm sleeve to try and mitigate how much he inhaled. He gagged, trying not to throw up or think about it. 

The second thing he noticed was that everything was red. The lights were shattered, so glass crunched under foot and the room was dark, but with what little light shined in from the hallway, the floor, ceiling, desks… Everything was stained crimson. His foot slipped and he put his hand out to catch himself. When he straightened back up, his hand was covered in semi-congealed, thick, viscous blood. Yuuta shook his hand and wiped it on his shirt, retching harder than before.

There was a soft squelch coming from somewhere in the room.

“T-Toge?” He hated the quiver in his voice. He shouldn't be afraid. After all, Gojo said he would be fine. 

But… There was just so much blood. 

With shaking fingers, he pulled out his phone and turned the flashlight on, sweeping it over the room once, twice, three times.

Finally, in the center of the floor, he saw it. 

A figure was crouched over the torn limbs of the monster, hands digging into the carcass and making the slippery noises that he'd heard. 

The bloodied figure froze.

“Toge…?”

“Ssssstop! Don't look!” 

Yuuta's phone slipped out of his hand and hit the floor, splattering blood up on his pants leg—and shining directly on Toge, holding half-eaten organs with blood dripping down his chin. His tongue, forked, flicked out to clean off some of the blood, and when he opened his mouth, Yuuta could see long fangs pricking his bottom lip. 

Toge’s eyes widened as he looked between Yuuta and the mauled monster. 

“Pleasssssse don't hate me… I wassss hungry…”

Yuuta took a step back and stepped on—oh fuck, was that an eye?!  

He slipped and fell, hitting his ass on the floor. Blood seeped into his pants, cold and sticky. 

“T-T-Toge, what…?”

Toge turned away and wiped his mouth, which only smeared the blood with whatever carnage was on his sleeve. “I’m… a sssnake. When Panda ssssaid there were othersss… it'sss me.” His tongue flicked out again, almost involuntarily, and the sight sent Yuuta back to the first night Toge didn't wear his scarf, and he had licked his lips.

Yuuta had initially assumed he must have been mistaken, that he hadn't actually seen a forked tongue. However, now that he thought about it... 

The rattling when he was in unfamiliar or nerve-inducing situations.

Toge's icy skin and constant chills, as if he couldn't get warm. 

The way his mouth seemed to open under his scarf when he looked at Yuuta—smelling him?

The hissing sounds he had heard.

Toge never eating. 

Probably because…

At that moment, Toge's jaw seemed to unhinge, and he slowly choked down a chunk of monster flesh that shouldn't have been able to fit in his mouth, let alone slide down his throat. 

Tears streamed down his cheeks, and Toge whispered, “Disssgusting, right? I’m grossss when I eat.”

Before his mind could catch up and his logic could take over, Yuuta grabbed Toge by the collar and yanked him in for a kiss. 

It was the nastiest kiss he'd ever had—literally. He could taste the vile, sourish-bitterish-sickly-sweetish flesh of the monster on Toge's tongue. He licked Toge's fangs, feeling them prick against his tongue and draw blood, but it didn't stop him. No, what was a little iron mixed in with monster guts? 

Toge fell backward, Yuuta weighing down on him and pinning him against the corpse behind him as he kissed Toge until the boy’s —snakeboy’s?— eyes were rolling back. He smacked Yuuta's back to let him breathe. Yuuta panted into his mouth, nipping on his lips as a heady numbness blanketed his mind and his eyesight blurred. 

“You're not disgusting. Don't you ever say that again.”

Toge shuddered beneath him, his mouth opening as he tasted the air between them, looking for any signs that Yuuta would run. 

But Yuuta wouldn't run. 

So what if Toge was a snake? Yuuta was already a weirdo. He was already a freak. And if his lover wasn’t human…

…So be it.

“I’m nasssty right now, Yuuta, let me shower.” 

“No.”

Yuuta tossed Toge onto his bed, watching him bounce on the mattress and then try to squirm away. 

“There's blood on the sheets now, so who cares? I’ll wash you after.”

Toge's face turned a deep shade of scarlet, and he covered his face with his arm. His tongue flicked out, and Yuuta caught it between his fingers. He leaned in and licked it, all the way up until he had to push his tongue into Toge's mouth to keep going. 

Yuuta watched all of Toge's reactions, drinking in the sight of his expression twitching and his body shaking, hips jerking to meet Yuuta’s freshly-curious hands. Everywhere he touched, Toge's body was cold to the touch and taut as a bowstring, ready to fire off with the slightest touch.

He slipped Toge's pants off, faltering when he noticed the… different sort of bulge Toge offered. 

When Toge pulled his underwear down, Yuuta was dumbstruck — Toge’s penis… was spiky. Toge pulled his shirt down in an attempt to hide it, but Yuuta yanked his shirt back up to look at it closely. 

“Sstop ssstaring, it'sss embarrassing.” 

Yuuta brushed his thumb over one of the barbs and gulped. “I… can try sucking it.”

Toge shook his head. “No! It'll hurt. Try,” he paused and chewed on his lip before continuing, “try thiss.” He spread his legs further, and — Yuuta gulped, his eyes laid upon the view of Toge’s ass. He was hesitant to touch it. After all, what if Toge wasn't into it…? But Toge held his legs open expectantly until Yuuta reached a hand between them and pressed delicately at Toge's puckered rim. Yuuta flinched, not expecting it to give way to his touch, but was aroused all the same. Toge added, “I like to… touch… down there. Ssso you can touch assss much as you like.”

Yuuta smeared the slimy slick of Toge’s precum between his fingers, using it to lubricate them before he rubbed his fingers against his hole, making Toge's toes curl and his back arch. Yuuta undid his pants and shuffled out of them, feeling undoubtedly unsexy as he fell over while tossing them over the side of his bed. 

He looked back at Toge, who was watching the whole ordeal through half-lidded eyes, his tongue flicking out as his eyes traveled down to the half-hard bulge in Yuuta's underwear. 

Yuuta palmed his crotch, letting the pleasure build up as he drank in Toge's disheveled appearance and bitten lips. Не positioned himself over Toge's chest, sliding his hips between Toge's legs and grinding against him as Toge wrapped his legs around Yuuta's waist. Pressing kisses along Toge's piercings, he licked the blood from his face, the rhythmic thrusts of his hips causing the bed frame to tremble. Yuuta's gaze was fixed on Toge's cock — he longed to stroke it, touch it, taste it — but he knew he couldn't. Cursed, spiky anatomy.

Soft noises fell from Toge's lips, punctuated by the sounds of his bed squeaking. Toge's nails dragged down Yuuta's shoulders, and he winced briefly at the sensation. He readjusted, switching to easing himself into the crevice between Toge's legs. Toge sucked in a breath, then bit down on Yuuta's shoulder as a broken moan left his throat. 

Yuuta shivered, his thighs trembling as he bottomed out in the soft heat of Toge's body, his climax overtaking him in a blinding rush of pleasure that left him blinking away stars-before embarrassment struck him like a jolt of lightning.

Relief mingled with his bashfulness when he noticed Toge had also come. 

“Ah…” 

Thankfully, Toge had also come—Yuuta noted the thick white fluid that decorated his belly, and the watery-er substance that dripped from his cloaca, mixed with Yuuta’s own seed that he'd emptied within. 

Toge pressed a delicate kiss to Yuuta’s temple, his arms falling back down to his sides as his legs went limp. 

“Sssorry, Yuuta… I’m too tired…”

Yuuta shook his head and gave Toge a chaste kiss—so innocent, compared to everything they'd already done. “I’ll run a hot bath and clean up. Let me know if… you need more to eat.”

Toge smiled, his expression tender. “Thank you.”

Yuuta nuzzled Toge's neck and breathed in. “It's nothing to thank me for.” With a soft smile, he lifted Toge up and took him to the bath. “Let's get you taken care of, love.”

Carrying Toge to the bathroom was an easy task, despite the boy having just devoured a monster the size of himself a mere few hours before. Yuuta set him on a stool and let out some water into a bucket, soaping him down and washing the blood from all the nooks and crannies of his body. Yuuta kneeled, pressing his forehead to Toge's shin as he scrubbed from his toes to his heel, and up his calf. 

Toge flexed his toes, wiggling them until Yuuta brought the loofah back down and cleaned between them.

He ran his hands back up Toge's body, washing his stomach and up his chest, pressing his thumbs briefly over Toge’s nipples and making him moan softly. 

“Ssstop teasing, Yuuta.” Toge murmured, his lower lip sticking out in a pout that he quickly covered. 

“‘M just making sure you're real.”

Toge's laugh was as soft as the wind carrying along a leaf. The sound was music to Yuuta's ears as he finally stood to wash Toge's hair. Toge went quiet, and the sound of shampoo squelching between Yuuta's fingers as he delicately scratched Toge's scalp filled the silence between them.

It wasn't an uncomfortable silence. Instead, the reverence of Yuuta's gentle hands meticulously cleaning the blood and dirt from Toge's body spoke of a dynamic built on the simple need for the other's presence. Words didn't need to be spoken; everything Yuuta needed to know could be found in the way Toge leaned back, his eyes closed as he sank into Yuuta's palms and let Yuuta’s hands roam unfettered. 

When Toge was successfully scrubbed and the water ran clear, Yuuta lifted him up and put him into the tub. Toge's content sighs were all the confirmation Yuuta needed to know that he was satisfied. With a gentle kiss to his forehead, Yuuta rolled up his sleeves. 

“I’ll go change the sheets.”

Toge hummed and blew a handful of soapy bubbles at him, then beckoned for him to join in the bath. 

Yuuta shook his head and blushed, his cheeks hot. “Let me clean up first! And then I’ll… uh, join you. If it's big enough.” He gave Toge a quick peck on the lips, his face feeling warmer than ever — as if a chaste touch was somehow more embarrassing than sticking his dick in a snake-boy’s hole. 

As he cleaned, he decided that it was time to move on. As painful as it was to see and hear the spirits and monsters lurking around him, he needed to take steps forward. 

And he was ready to do that, as long as he had Toge by his side.