Archive of Our Own

“What?!”

Benedict spluttered, droplets of wine spraying out of his mouth. Next to him Eloise rolled her eyes and Sophie gave him a stern look. He cleared his throat.

“Sorry, sorry…I just, never met anyone who didn’t like that...”

Penelope glared at him, his over dramatic reaction completely killing the buzz she’d been enjoying that evening.

“Look, it’s not like it was bad…I just…didn’t see what the hype was about, that’s all…” She tried to shrug nonchalantly, keeping her eyes on her own glass of wine.

“Because it wasn’t with a woman,” Eloise supplied, nodding understandingly, and Pen couldn’t help but laugh a little at that. Francesca smirked next to her, not looking like she didn't agree.

“Maybe, I guess we’ll never know, can we please talk about something else?” she pleaded, knowing she was probably the darkest shade of red possible right now. Around the circle she could see the Bridgertons looking at her with a mixture of disbelief and pity, and she wanted to deck the lot of them. When she gathered the nerve to look at the one person she’d managed to avoid looking at since she’d made her confession, he looked disgusted. So that was fucking great. She was about to hang herself from the Christmas lights.

Kate must have taken pity on her, reminding Benedict that it was his turn in their tipsy game of truth and dare. Penelope sat, listening with a half smile on her face, as Benedict got needled about his latest sexual encounter while the other Bridgertons listened with horror. Good, Penelope thought, they deserve it.

She glanced at her phone, noting the time and wondering how long it would be before she could sneak off to bed in shame without it seeming like that was what she was doing. It had been a long day- a good day- but the alcohol and the invasive questioning about something she already felt so awkward about had taken the wind out of her sails completely. She was ready for sleep.

She lasted another two players before she excused herself, saying she was tired and done for the night. The Bridgertons and company all smiled at her fondly, wishing her goodnight and blowing kisses. She smiled to herself, half of them were completely wasted, and she was pleased she’d cut back as the night wore on so she wouldn’t have an awful hangover the next day.

She made her way up the stairs, feeling her body already preparing for sleep, each step heavier than the last. She loved her days here at Aubrey Hall, but they were a lot, and she always felt like she’d completed a marathon slash wine tour at the end of each day.

She had her hand on the door handle when she heard her name.

“Pen.”

Dammit. She’d almost made it. She turned around, hoping her face looked neutral as Colin caught up to her down the hall.

“Hey, what’s up?”

It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy seeing Colin, it was that she enjoyed seeing him too much, and that was a problem. Because he didn’t see her like that. So every second he stood chatting in the hall with her was one she would berate herself for later when he was gone and she was left wondering whether he meant anything special by the way he said her name. He never did.

“Just wanted to catch you before bed, that’s all. We barely had any time to chat today.” He grinned at her and she hated him a little bit. Why did he have to be so lovely? And kind? And sexy? Asshole.

“Yeah, uh, typical Bridgerton day, I guess.” She laughed uncertainly, not quite sure what he wanted from her so late in the day. He smiled back, rubbing his hand over his neck (bastard) and looking like he wanted to say something else. She waited.

“I just…wanted to say I hope you don’t feel bad…about what we were talking about before. Ben can be a dick...” He smiled apologetically. Oh, she realised. He wanted to reassure her not to be embarrassed. By bringing up the embarrassing thing and making her talk about it. Brilliant.

She tried to laugh lightly.

“It’s all good. I knew what I was signing up for when I came for Christmas at the Bridgertons. No boundaries, lots of alcohol, and inappropriate conversations, right?”

Colin’s eyes crinkled (motherfucker), and he nodded.

“Yeah, exactly.” He looked relieved. She wanted to punch him. How dare he try to make her feel better about this when his reaction was the one that made her want to dissolve into the carpet.

“Okay…so…” She looked pointedly towards her room, hoping he’d get the hint. No such luck.

“Yeah, and like, it’s not for everyone, you know. You should do what feels right for you.” He was looking at her so emphatically, it was killing her. Did this man ever shut up (she loved him)?

“Yeah, exactly. And some things are just not what they’ve cracked up to be, right?” She desperately tried to wrap things up, talking to Colin about this was feeling like its own special level of hell.

“Well…yeah I guess...”

She felt irritated at that. Did he want to reassure her or not? First it was all he could do to assure her she was justified, but now he didn’t seem so sure. She figured she’d be honest, and maybe that would scare him off. It had worked in the past.

“Yeah, it’s like shower sex or sex on the beach. Everyone talks a big game but in reality someone just ends up cold and sandy, right?” She stared at him challengingly, hoping her brazenness might put him off. By the looks of his shocked face, it had.

She felt bitter. She hated this. She was such a completely nonviable option for him that any mention of sex had him running for the hills when she was around. Trying not to let tears fill her eyes, she bit her lip and turned the door handle.

“Goodnight, Colin”

“Wait!”

She looked back at him impatiently. Colin had stepped closer now, and was chewing on his lips, eyes unusually intense.

“Sorry, Pen, I know this is going to piss you off more, but those things are good.”

Well he was right about one thing. It did piss her off. She stared at him in disbelief.

“Didn’t you come here to tell me my feelings are valid?” she hissed.

“I did…I mean, yeah. But also. I don’t think maybe you’ve given them a fair chance…maybe…”

Oh, she was going to kill him.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Colin? What on earth would you know about whether I’ve given them a chance or not?”

Colin looked terrified. Good.

“I just mean, you’ve only been with a couple of guys, right, so maybe it wasn’t, like, done properly or…”

Penelope was in shock. What the fuck was he actually even saying right now?

“Oh, so I didn’t like them because I’m so inexperienced and shitty in bed??” She could hear her voice rising, but she didn’t care, utterly enraged by the audacity of the man in front of her right now. She leaned towards him menacingly.

“Just because I haven’t fucked the entire population of the Northern Hemisphere doesn’t mean I don’t know what I like, and don’t like, in the bedroom. Stay in your fucking lane, Colin.”

Colin looked taken aback at that, and she was pleased to see she’d finally shaken him a little.

“Oh, so I’m a slut so I couldn't possibly have any valuable insight?”

Penelope pretended to think, a finger on her chin.

“Hmmm, um, yeah, actually! Correct!”

She was acting like a child, but she didn’t care. He started it, she thought petulantly.

She watched his eyes narrow, chest heaving as he got as worked up as she was. He leaned closer too this time, his voice low when he spoke.

“You’re forgetting that I know you, Penelope. So when I have some advice for you, maybe you should fucking listen.”

Oh God, why did that make her wet? Fuck him, seriously. She glared back at him.

“Oh, well then Colin, wise all knowing sex god, please divulge your wisdom on this poor little virgin girl,.” She pouted mockingly, fluttering her eyelashes and looking up at him. He stared down at her, gritting his teeth, eyes boring into her. She had never made him this mad before, and she kind of liked it. It was nice to get a reaction from him that wasn’t completely indifferent friendliness, for once. When he spoke it came out a rumble.

“Well, Penelope, the reason you’ve never enjoyed any of these things is because you’ve only done them with assholes who wouldn’t know an woman's orgasm if it smacked them in the face.”

Penelope gaped at him. She felt herself turning beetroot, indignation running through her hot and unbidden.

“You have absolutely no fucking idea what you’re talking about Colin, where the hell do you get off?”

Colin smirked at that, and she knew as soon as she’d said it it was a mistake. She gave him a warning glare.

Don’t you fucking dare.

Colin, still smirking, managed to control himself, instead simply saying.

“I think I’m right, based on how red you are.”

She glowered at him. That wasn’t fair. It wasn’t her fault her face betrayed her every emotion.

“Oh well, forgive me, then. I’m so sorry that I’ve been only sleeping with guys I thought I liked instead of prioritising what is clearly more important, their sexual prowess.”

Colin rolled his eyes.

“That’s not what I’m saying! I just think if someone really cared about you they would prioritise your pleasure, that’s all.”

He was earnest now, eyes still intense, and for some reason it made her even more angry.

“Oh okay, so the guys I’ve dated have not only been assholes, they haven’t liked me either. Wonderful, thank you so much for the pep talk.”

Colin groaned, running his hand through his hair with frustration.

“No, I just think you can do better!”

She had had enough.

“Okay, so who, Colin? Who is this guy I’m supposed to be sleeping with who likes me and prioritises my pleasure and can make me enjoy sixty-nining??”

“Me!”

It takes a few seconds to register what he’s said. To note the desperation and sincerity in his eyes. To notice that his pupils were blown wide and he hadn't taken a step backward since they’d started talking. In fact, he was so close she could feel his breath on her.

She stared at him. He looked panicked, as surprised as she was at what he’d just said. He rushed to explain, stumbling over his words.

“Shit…sorry, that’s so inappropriate. I’m sorry, Penelope, can we just forget that didn’t happen-”

The answer was no anyway, but she didn’t wait for him to finish because she was launching herself on him, arms looping around his neck as she found his lips with hers. There was a moment where he stood, likely in shock, before suddenly he groaned and he was kissing her back, hard.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK. This was so fucking good. This was happening. This was HAPPENING.

FUCK.

She moaned, pulling herself into him and he squeezed her, his hands coming to her ass immediately and kneading her. She was partially surprised but mostly pleased, whining into his mouth in approval and running her hands through his hair. The groan he gave went straight to her pussy.

“Penelope,” he growled in between kisses, panting into her mouth while she rubbed on him like she was in heat. She felt no shame, just lust. She whined in response, pushing her tongue into his mouth while he tried to speak.

“I’ve wanted this...God, for so….fucking long-” Penelope’s eyes rolled back at that, and she found his tongue and sucked, before pulling away, saliva stringing between them.

“Show me,” she whispered, never feeling more wanton in her entire life. She had wanted this for years, and there was no way she was holding back.

Colin was panting, watching her mouth with fascination as he tried to process her words.

“Huh?” He mumbled distractedly, even as he tried to pull her back in. Penelope grabbed his chin and made him look at her.

“You said you can make me like sixty-nining. So show me” It came out like an order, and Colin’s mouth dropped, shocked, before he was pulling her back to him, picking her up and barrelling them through her bedroom door. He slammed the door behind him with his foot, all but throwing her on the bed.

Penelope didn’t let him go far though, reaching up for him and pulling him down on top of her, finding his mouth once more so she could suck and lick at his mouth and neck and face. Colin growled, nipping her, his hands reaching for the hem of her shirt and pulling up. She arched her back, separating so he could remove it, desperately clawing at his at the same time. He pulled his own shirt over his head, and they sat for a moment, both mesmerised by each other’s chests.

Penelope whimpered as she took in his body, his hairy chest, defined muscles, tanned skin. She wanted to fucking devour him. She reached up to touch him but Colin was already pulling her bra down, pulling at it like an animal, her tits bouncing out over the cups.

“Fucking hell, Penelope. Fuck….fuck-” He seemed lost for words so Penelope reached for the back of his head and plunged his face into her cleavage, moaning as she felt him groan and then begin to kiss and lick and nip. He sucked on her nipple, hard, and she felt her hips buck up. She’d never been more aroused in her life. While he bruised her tits, she shoved down her jeans and panties, needing him to touch her absolutely everywhere. She unclasped her bra, pushing her tits together around his face, nearly coming when she saw the look of pure ecstasy on Colin’s face while he took and took and took.

Growing impatient she pushed Colin back so she could begin taking off his pants, rolling him so she was kneeling over him, undoing his fly and tugging the fabric off. She whined when she saw his bulge through the underwear, straining, damp and fucking massive. God she wanted him. Fucking fuck.

Colin watched, panting, as she removed his underwear, gasping when she stole a kiss to his tip on her way down. She bit her lip, feeling herself drip already, already knowing that whatever came next was going to blow any previous sexual experience she’d had out of the water. It already had, and he hadn’t even touched her properly yet.

As she came to lie next to him, Colin looked at her, half serious, half curious.

“And where do you think you’re going?”

Penelope raised an eyebrow, not following. Then she gasped as Colin grabbed her by the hips, pulling her toward him so her pussy was in front of his face.

“Turn around” He ordered, and she complied, her cunt pulsing at the authority in his voice. She lifted one leg over his chest, her ass effectively in his face, and she shivered as she felt his hand come onto her back and guide her down, down so she was on all-fours atop him. She felt him shuffle down so his head was beneath her thighs, and suddenly his cock was right there, in front of her face, and her mouth was watering.

“Oh God, Pen, you’re fucking drenched.” She felt herself get wetter still at his words, squirming with arousal. Deciding it was time to get this show on the road, she reached for him, holding his cock so it was at a better angle, and lowering her mouth over it slowly. She heard Colin curse below her and smiled, taking her tongue and exploring his tip, running it over and under the ridge of his head.

All smugness disappeared when suddenly his mouth was on her and he was eating her. Not licking, not sucking, but devouring her. She moaned, letting her mouth slide further down him, gasping at the feel of him lapping up every drop of wetness he could find.

Fuck, how was she supposed to give head in these conditions? He was driving her insane.

Determined not to be sidetracked, she lowered her chest to his belly, hips still raised over his face, and licked her way over his dick thoroughly. She took him in again, letting her lips glided up and down and back again as he bucked up under her.

She was getting the upper hand, she thought smugly.

She was wrong.

Fingers were in her cunt now, and she screamed around his dick, drool running down him and pooling on his groin. The noises coming from her pussy were insane, slurps and squelches, and she felt herself grinding down, desperate for more. Colin moaned in encouragement, and she tilted her hips faster, fucking herself on him. He found her clit then and sucked, and her thighs gave out, her full weight settling on his face. She attempted to get up but felt his hands on her ass, holding her there, and she was losing her mind, the sucking on her clit, fingers fucking up into her, his mouth enveloping her so completely.

Needing to channel her frustration she began sucking faster, moving up and down his shaft rhythmically, letting go with her hand so that the only thing holding him was her mouth. But then his moans began to reverberate through her pussy and she realised she was coming, her mouth losing rhythm as her eyes rolled back. It was all she could do to keep him in her mouth as she moaned around him, feeling her pussy clench and pulse on his tongue and face.

She rested her head on his hip for a moment, his cock still in her mouth as she caught her breath, hoping Colin was still alive under there. Then she felt him begin to stroke her again and she shuddered, so sensitive, and lifted herself and got back to work. She was determined not to be sidetracked this time, and began bobbing in earnest, her mouth so full of saliva it glided up and down easily. She sped up, taking him in her hand again, and using her other to gently squeeze his balls. She felt him groan into her again, and then he curled his fingers inside her as retaliation, making her cry out and take a big inhale, sucking him hard.

He was fucking her faster now, so she followed suit, and as she began to tire, felt her next orgasm coming. She had no idea how she was going to be able to continue like this, but hollowed her cheeks just the same, making him buck up into her. She moaned her approval at that and she felt him understand what she needed as he began slowly and steadily fucking her face in time with his fingers. Penelope keened, overwhelmed by the feeling of him being inside her in so many ways and so insistently, adoring the way he used her for pleasure.

Her hips began to move in time with his, and she felt his rhythm begin to stutter, his bulging head telling her he was close. She moaned around him, filthy, animal sounds that both relayed how she was feelling and seemed to urge him on as he thrusted faster and faster, her aching jaw taking every push eagerly.

She was going to come again, hard, she realised, the feeling of her mouth being fucked like this so fucking hot. She ground herself down on him, taking what she needed as he did the same, and suddenly she was coming, her legs raising themselves off his face of their own accord, squirt raining down. She heard Colin grunt in surprise, his own climax coming now, and then she was drinking him, swallowing every spurt of him until he was trembling under her mouth.

She let him fall from her mouth finally, shifting so she was next to Colin instead of over him, before allowing herself to collapse, exhausted.

“That was…” 

Colin was attempting to talk through ragged breaths.

“Fucking incredible,” Penelope finished, her pussy warm and relaxed and pulsing still. She rested her head on his thigh and their eyes met with a chuckle. He looked smug.

“Told you,” he smirked. She rolled her eyes, too exhausted to protest.

“Fine, just this once, you were right.”

Colin shook his head, eyes closed as he laid his head back on the pillows.

“It won’t be just once. Once I recover we’re taking a shower”

Penelope smirked as she heard him yelp, her teeth sinking gently into his thigh. Asshole.