Archive of Our Own

Lying on their backs in the middle of Paradise Manor's expansive garden, surrounded by nameless little white flowers, the sun kisses the bridge of Hua Cheng's nose as if it is an old lover. Xie Lian traces over the highlights with his eyes and feels his heart speed up in his chest, beating with all the enthusiasm and gall of a dragonfly's battering wings. Hua Cheng is beautiful. Some things are just known.

They've spent the last week cast in each other's shadows, lazy mornings bleeding into frenzied nights together, and Xie Lian relies on Yin Yu and the residents of Ghost City to help with answering prayers for a while. They're all too happy to do it for their Grand Uncle, for their Hua Chengzhu's beloved, and so Xie Lian lets himself be a little bit selfish. Hua Cheng is steadily convincing him that falling into each other this way is okay, and that the world will not crumble apart if Xie Lian is not around to throw himself under the common people's boot.

It's so easy to love him, Xie Lian realizes. This is not the first time he's come to this conclusion and certainly won't be the last, but this morning, he'd woken up sore and overworked from their bed activities the night before, and Hua Cheng had already prepared breakfast and a hot bath for him. It was filled to the brim with spiritually-warmed water and rose petals, and it'd been a lot like breathing in the first cool, crisp breath of Autumn air. Xie Lian had taken the feeling into his lungs as he munched on cubed dragonfruit and let it permeate him from the inside out.

He has never felt so whole in his life, and it's addicting in an all-consuming sort of way. He wants it always, wants it forever, and so he tells himself it's for this very reason that several scrolls on child-bearing pills end up from Ling Wen's hands into his, hidden hastily in the sleeves of his robe. He's already read them all a dozen times over and has gotten this information in return: the pills do not work on ghosts the way they would on, say, someone like Xie Lian, but they can still be used as a potent aphrodisiac.

His mind goes to Mount Tonglu; how he'd taken care of Hua Cheng as thoroughly as he could have back then, but he is like a parched man who has been given a taste of the finest wine, and he wants more now that he knows he's allowed to take. To have his San Lang like that again, lost in his own pleasure with Xie Lian beneath him, over him, inside of him – well. Xie Lian's mind won't stop turning.

He's thinking about how to bring up this topic of conversation while simultaneously trying to commit every detail of Hua Cheng's sun-streaked face to memory, but his husband reads him like a well-loved book, as always, and he breaches it first.

"Gege seems to be lost in thought," he says, reaching out to trail the pad of his pointer finger over Xie Lian's cupid's bow. The touch is shy and reverent, and Xie Lian's body trills from it. "Do you wish to tell this one about whatever's on your mind?"

He is grateful that Hua Cheng always gives him a way in. It's still difficult for Xie Lian to voice his feelings aloud, and he imagines that will only change with time–something as unpredictable as it is endless–but when a thought truly must be said, Hua Cheng is there to help him walk the path, forever honored to lead the way. Xie Lian's chest seems to swell beneath the vastness of all this feeling, and he presses two fingers to his sternum and forces himself to breathe through it. In, out.

His cheeks are red-hot and flushed the shade of persimmons by the time he manages to speak, but Hua Cheng just looks at him warmly, his eye sparkling as it roams Xie Lian's face.

"I happened to read something interesting earlier today," Xie Lian begins, which really downplays, 'I read through the scrolls I intentionally sought out through Ling Wen forward, backward, and upside down.' He barrels on, "About the…child-bearing pills we were given for your birthday a little while back. Do you remember them?"

If Hua Cheng is surprised by this topic of conversation, he doesn't show it as he flashes Xie Lian a tiny, soft smile, nodding once.

"Of course, gege."

Xie Lian pretends to be interested in Ruoye wrapped around his wrist as he asks, slow, "Did you know they don't work on ghosts?"

Hua Cheng frowns. "Regretfully, I don't know much about them. I'll have to do some research so that I'm as informed as gege."

"I-It's not a big deal!" Xie Lian is quick to say, hastily pushing himself up on his elbows. The tips of his ears are hot, but he swallows past his embarrassment; something he's become used to doing since letting Hua Cheng into his heart all that time ago. "I read through some scrolls. Even though they don't work for their intended purpose on ghosts, they can still be used as an aphrodisiac. Isn't that," he clears his throat, coughing quietly. "Isn't that interesting, San Lang?"

A slow smile finds its way to Hua Cheng's mouth, lips quirked at their corners. He hums.

"Mn. Yes, gege."

When Xie Lian can do nothing else but bite his tongue and hope Hua Cheng takes the bait, the garden goes wonderfully quiet. With their hands buried in the grass and hidden from view, their pinkies brush together, and a light breeze whooshes through the flower beds. Hua Cheng's steady gaze does not leave Xie Lian's, and after a long while, he finally lets out a soft chuckle, lashes casting a shadow across his cheek.

"Are you trying to say that you'd be interested in me taking one of the pills, Your Highness?" he asks, cocking his head to the side as he blinks once; the perfect picture of innocence, sweet-looking and docile even outside of his San Lang form.

"No!" Xie Lian blurts out, waving his hands, which is – it's a lie, and so he immediately tries to take it back. "I mean, yes, but it's – I only want to if San Lang wants to as well. I think it'd be fun to see you like that because you're always so…in control, and I want to dote on you if you'll let me. I don't get to do it often." His face is hot, but he tries to harden his voice as he adds, "And don't you dare feel pressured to agree to it for my sake because I know how you get, and-"

"Gege," Hua Cheng reaches out to grab hold of Xie Lian's wrist. His long fingers wrap all the way around it, and he tugs until Xie Lian's palm is flat against his chest, right over his heart. "Being at your mercy is always a blessing I'm not sure I'm worthy of receiving. How could my answer be anything but yes?"

"Don't say that," Xie Lian tuts. He bunches up the fabric of Hua Cheng's red robe in his fingers, holding fast. "San Lang deserves everything I have to offer, and more than I could ever give him."

Hua Cheng's eye clouds over for a moment and he opens his mouth like he wants to argue with him, but then he seems to realize that he's still holding on to his wrist, so he tugs his hand up, up, and sweeps a gentle kiss across Xie Lian's knuckles.

"Gege," his mouth presses the word into the thin skin at the back of Xie Lian's hand, "I want to take the pill. You'll look after me, won't you?"

He's being coy; Xie Lian can tell by the way he speaks with his head low, peering up at him through his lashes, but it knocks the wind out of him all the same. He nods, a little jerky, and rolls onto his side so that he can nudge his nose against Hua Cheng's cheek before pressing a dry, chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"I'll look after you," he promises. It comes out breathier than he means for it to, and his face heats up further, certainly close to catching fire at this point. "And if you don't feel well and want to stop at any time, what will you do?"

"Tell gege, of course," Hua Cheng answers with all the nonchalance in the world. Though he says it like it's an easy thing, he's still not very good at it–listening to his own body and its limits–and Xie Lian knows he'll have to keep a close eye on him throughout the experience. "When should I take it?"

"Whenever you feel up for it," Xie Lian says. "One of the scrolls I read said that the effects tend to kick in relatively quickly, but I'm not sure how it'll work on a Supreme. Perhaps it'll take longer for you to feel it."

"I hope not," Hua Cheng murmurs, gaze flickering down to Xie Lian's mouth. Quietly, he adds, "I want to kiss you so badly."

Xie Lian smiles, heart kicking in his chest. He lifts a hand to trail his finger along the sharp cut of Hua Cheng's jaw and says, "Not in the garden. Let's go to our room, okay?"

They see no one else on their way through the manor, which isn't much of a surprise. Hua Cheng values his privacy and keeps a rather small staff, and only Yin Yu and a handful of others are even allowed anywhere close to their bed chamber. Their hands are twined together the whole way, palms flush, and Xie Lian thinks about how easy it would be to shove Hua Cheng against one of the pillars and kiss him breathless. He almost does it, but he knows that starting anything out here almost certainly means not making it to the bedroom, and he remembers the child-bearing pills. Wants to see Hua Cheng put one on his tongue and swallow it down, dry.

In the privacy of their shared room, they strip each other slowly. Xie Lian is taken down to nothing but his thin trousers by Hua Cheng's deft hands, chest bare save for the chain and ring that lie across it, and he quickly works Hua Cheng out of his clothes, too. He tugs at the belt holding his robes closed until it comes loose, clattering to the floor, and then Xie Lian shucks the fabric down Hua Cheng's shoulders and helps him slip it off. He looks softer this way, standing in front of Xie Lian in thin bottoms and a tunic, but there isn't enough skin showing, and Xie Lian doesn't stop tugging at his clothes until he's completely nude and being pressed down into the mattress.

"Gege," Hua Cheng holds himself up on his elbows, eye already lidded as he stares at him. The fervent desire in his gaze is impossible to miss, and Xie Lian's face warms. "Kiss me?"

Xie Lian nods, swaying forward, and presses his closed mouth to Hua Cheng's. It's fairly innocent to start, dry and gentle, and when Hua Cheng cranes his neck to try and deepen it, Xie Lian chuckles against his lips and pulls back, hand splayed across Hua Cheng's chest. Hua Cheng looks very close to pouting–something he only does around Xie Lian, infinitely endearing–and so Xie Lian drops a little kiss to his forehead to placate him.

"San Lang," he begins, speaking softly, "the pill. Do you still want to..?"

He trails off, unable to finish. He can feel the way his skin heats up, no doubt pinkening from the tips of his ears down to his chest, and Hua Cheng offers him an out in the form a tiny, mischievous smile.

"Mn," he nods. "Get it for me?"

And then he's – Xie Lian feels like he's been punched in the stomach as Hua Cheng opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out. It is shiny with spit, pink as rose petals, and his heart thumps wildly in his chest. He stares for a while, long enough that Hua Cheng lifts an amused brow, before reaching out to blindly fumble through the drawer near their bed.

The pills, stored in an embroidered, cloth pouch, are tiny things colored cloud-tail white, and Xie Lian rolls one around between his fingers.

"Are you sure, San Lang?" he asks, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment. "Really, absolutely sure?"

Hua Cheng nods once, tongue still out and waiting, and Xie Lian shudders. It's ridiculous how much he loves him, how eager he is to wreck him when they've hardly started yet. He's already hard, close to aching beneath his thin trousers, and Hua Cheng is fairing no better, the thick line of his cock hot against Xie Lian's abdomen. It's torture.

Xie Lian's hand trembles as he lifts the pill and sets it right on the center of Hua Cheng's tongue, fingertips grazing it before retreating swiftly.

Hua Cheng makes a show of closing his mouth and swallowing loudly, his Adam's apple bobbing with the motion. Xie Lian's gaze tracks it, and his own mouth goes terribly dry.

"Beautiful," he whispers, hand coming up to cup his face, and Hua Cheng looks torn between nuzzling into his touch and flinching away at the compliment. "San Lang, I'm going to kiss you now. Tell me if you start feeling the pill's effects or you want to stop, all right?"

"Yes," Hua Cheng whispers, eye glassy as he peers up at Xie Lian through his long lashes. "Gege, please."

They come together as easily as breathing. Hua Cheng's parted mouth is soft and slightly wet as Xie Lian slots their lips together, and he makes this sweet little sound in the back of his throat that Xie Lian can't get enough of. He wants to work it out of him over and over again, until Hua Cheng is rasping it, panting against Xie Lian's mouth, and it's – this kind of power is so addicting that it sends Xie Lian reeling. He grabs hold of Hua Cheng's bare hip with a hand to steady himself as he licks past his lips.

They'd had a meal together not long ago, and Hua Cheng tastes of jasmine tea and fruit–plums and over-ripe peaches–when Xie Lian sucks on his tongue. He's sweet like this, head tilted back and mouth slack, ready for Xie Lian's plundering, and by the time they part, his chest is heaving, cheeks dusty pink and warm to the touch. A string of spit connects their lips for a moment in time, and when it snaps, Xie Lian feels like he's lost something. He kisses Hua Cheng again, searching for it behind his teeth.

"Ah, gege," Hua Cheng slides both hands in Xie Lian's hair, holding it back for him as he's kissed into the mattress. He can't seem to stop writhing beneath him, hips pushing up in search of friction that Xie Lian nimbly avoids giving. "Can you – I need your hands. It's starting to hurt. Will you touch me, please?"

Xie Lian glances down and sure enough, Hua Cheng's cock is hard and blush-red, leaking precome at the slit as it twitches between them. It looks painful, but Xie Lian knows that the moment he touches him, feelings will blur together, and it'll be difficult to tell what is being wrought out by the child-bearing pill versus Xie Lian's own hands.

So he says, "My San Lang can be patient for a little while longer, can't he?"

And though Hua Cheng shifts uncomfortably, he does nod and eventually murmurs a petulant, "Yes, gege."

"Good boy," Xie Lian reaches up to pinch his cheek, and the words – they'd just slipped out, and they hadn't been meant in a lascivious way, but Hua Cheng shudders all the same, shoulders trembling with the force of it. A fond smile works its way to Xie Lian's face, and he presses it against Hua Cheng's temple in the form of a kiss. "Just relax, okay?"

Xie Lian's plan is to see how long it takes the pill to go into effect, and so they must ease into this slowly. He can't run the risk of working Hua Cheng up too much at the start unless he's really committed to pushing his limits; though, when he thinks about it, that doesn't seem like a bad idea, and they do have safety measures in place. Hua Cheng knows to inform Xie Lian if things become too overwhelming, and outside of that, Xie Lian can read him well. Would know, without a shadow of a doubt based on Hua Cheng's expression, how he was feeling. So, it wouldn't be horribly mean to tease him a little bit…would it?

He's mulling it over in his head when Hua Cheng's hand slides into his hair and pulls. It's gentle, not enough to hurt, but it drags Xie Lian out of his thoughts.

"Gege," he starts, voice gravelly already despite the fact that they've hardly done more than kiss, "you've got this humble believer in your bed but you're not even paying attention to him. What a pity."

"I was just thinking about what I want to do to you, actually," Xie Lian tells him, and the words coming out of his own mouth make his face grow warm, but he swallows down his embarrassment and lines his body up with Hua Cheng's, pressed against him from chest to shin.

"Oh?" Hua Cheng's brows fly up, his eye sparkling beneath the low-lit lantern light. "Care to share those plans with me?"

Xie Lian hums. "I'd rather show you, if that's all right."

He doesn't pause to let Hua Cheng answer. Instead, he delves forward with as much confidence as he can muster and clumsily mouths a wet kiss down Hua Cheng's throat, tongue laving over his Adam's apple. He rarely uses his teeth because it is next to impossible to mark Hua Cheng up, but a sordid feeling in his chest that he has seldom ever experienced in the past seems to swell, and he finds himself simply wanting to lay claim here. Hua Cheng doesn't belong to him–and he doesn't belong to Hua Cheng–but it is a close thing for both of them, and so Xie Lian sinks his teeth into the thin skin of Hua Cheng's neck and relishes in the way Hua Cheng falls apart so beautifully for him, trembling beneath his mouth.

"Pretty," he murmurs, then sucks at Hua Cheng's throat hard enough that it should bruise, but won't. Hua Cheng gasps, head tossed back, and his fingertips dig into Xie Lian's bare shoulders where they're gripping tight. "Here, can I – hold on," Xie Lian cups Hua Cheng's jaw and tilts his face to the side, giving himself better access to the smooth, pale skin of his neck. "There, just like that. Good, San Lang."

A whine tears itself from Hua Cheng's mouth, his hips bucking up off the bed, and Xie Lian is quick to pin them down as his thumb smooths along Hua Cheng's hipbone.

"Behave. Ruoye's right over there," Xie Lian warns him, and off in the corner Ruoye perks up a bit at its name being used which then draws Eming's attention, too. "Don't make me bind you."

"Oh, gege, please, please," Hua Cheng whimpers, squirming more, and Xie Lian tuts and shoves his hips into the mattress again. He puts more force behind it this time, the bed frame creaking, and Hua Cheng lets out a loud moan, sharp in the otherwise quiet of their bedroom. The idea of being tied up by Xie Lian seems to work him up further rather than deter him, and so Xie Lian is forced to back-track.

"You said you'd be patient. Doesn't San Lang want to be good for me?" he asks, grabbing hold of Hua Cheng's jaw to force him to look at him. There is fire sewn into the dark colors of his eye, heavily lidded and a little glossy, and Xie Lian almost coos. He's so beautiful it makes his fingers twitch where they grip his face. He squeezes harder, and the breath rattles from Hua Cheng's chest.

"I'll be good," Hua Cheng says after a long while, tongue darting out to sweep across his dry, bottom lip.

Xie Lian smiles at him, pressing a sweet kiss to the apple of his cheek. "Still doing okay? Do you want to take a break?"

Hua Cheng shakes his head, fast, hair flying into his eyes, and Xie Lian reaches over to pluck a ribbon from their nightstand and tie it up for him to keep it out of his face. It's a little messy, some strands and that braid tied off with the red pearl earring hanging down, but like this, his ears can be seen, and they are a pretty shade of pink, warm when Xie Lian grazes his thumb over the shell of one of them. Hua Cheng shudders at the touch, closing his eye for a moment. When his heady gaze meets Xie Lian's again, his pupil is blown black, almost swallowing up his iris completely.

"I don't want to stop," he says, fingers digging tighter into Xie Lian's shoulders like he's worried the latter is going to pull away. "I feel so-" he huffs out a frustrated sigh and squirms again, but seems to remember himself and works very hard to still his movements. Xie Lian rewards him with a kiss to his temple. "Everything is hot. It's…different."

"Different how? Good, bad, somewhere in between?" Xie Lian asks.

"Good, I think," Hua Cheng answers. "Bigger. I can feel it here," he presses two fingers to his sternum, "like I'm full. It's a lot, but I want you to keep going. Please?"

And Xie Lian wants to keep going as well, so he nods, murmuring, "Yes, of course," against the sharp cut of Hua Cheng's jaw as he begins mouthing at his skin again.

He spends some time desperately trying to work purple bruises into Hua Cheng's neck, his shoulders, his collarbone, but his body doesn't take on color the way Xie Lian's does, and so the skin only looks a little bit red where it's been nibbled. Hua Cheng's gasps grow louder, wetter as Xie Lian works him over with his teeth, but true to his word, his hips never leave the mattress, and he does try to remain still.

He's always so eager to please when they do it this way, and Xie Lian has half a mind to take his cock down his throat just to see how well Hua Cheng's self-restraint holds up when he's engulfed in the heat of Xie Lian's mouth. Have his inhibitions fallen thanks to the pill? Would he tug harshly at Xie Lian's hair without worrying about hurting him? Would he fuck up into his mouth until Xie Lian's throat was raw and stinging, burning with each gulp of air he took in? The thought has him shuddering, his own cock twitching in his pants, soaking the fabric with precome.

Xie Lian slides down the length of his body until he is eye-level with Hua Cheng's chest. It's mottled with red patches, his skin flushed and warm to the touch, and Xie Lian sweeps a thumb over one of his nipples to watch the way his back bows. It isn't enough, touching him like this. There is the inane urge to devour blossoming somewhere deep inside of Xie Lian, and so he leans forward and fits his mouth over the same nipple he'd just thumbed, feeling it harden into a peak between his lips.

"Ah, please," Hua Cheng's hands slide into Xie Lian's hair, grabbing fistfuls of the strands, but he doesn't tug – not too hard, anyway.

Xie Lian only hums, and Hua Cheng must feel the vibration through his chest because he whines, the hard line of his cock twitching where it grazes Xie Lian's hip. Xie Lian nearly reaches down to stroke him instinctively, but he quickly remembers himself–remembers the game they're playing–and uses his hand to pin Hua Cheng's wrist to the bed instead.

Once one nipple is raised and puffy, blush-red like lotus petals, Xie Lian begins working on the other. Though he rarely has to use even a quarter of his full strength in bed with his husband, Hua Cheng is particularly sensitive tonight as Xie Lian tugs at his nipple with his teeth, back arching and hips jerking up into nothing, and so Xie Lian has to use a bit of force to hold him in place. At the searing warmth of Xie Lian's hand curled beneath his ribcage, Hua Cheng shakes and gasps, tossing his head from side to side on the pillow.

"Please, please," he's begging now, thighs trembling as he nudges his knee against Xie Lian's side. "It hurts, gege, can you – I need-"

"Shh," Xie Lian slides up and kisses him firmly, and Hua Cheng 'humphs' against his mouth. "Let me stretch you open now, San Lang. Be still for just a little while longer, okay? Can you do that for gege?"

He strokes a hand down Hua Cheng's face, thumb sweeping across the edge of his eyepatch, and Hua Cheng leans into his touch like a cat searching for warmth, nodding lazily. His legs fall open when he sees Xie Lian reach for the oil, and while he still hasn't had his cock touched, he seems to forget about that the moment Xie Lian prods a slicked-up finger to his hole.

Hua Cheng is burning up from the inside out when Xie Lian presses that digit into him, wiggling it around a bit. The stretch is slick and smooth, easy with how relaxed and wanton Hua Cheng's body has become, and Xie Lian only thrusts into him a handful of times before he adds a second finger, scissoring them apart. The breath is punched from Hua Cheng's lungs, swift and fluid, and his back bows as he adjusts to the stretch.

"Here," Xie Lian reaches out with his free hand to snag a pillow and tuck it under Hua Cheng's hips. The angle is better like this, allowing Xie Lian to slide his fingers in deeper, and Hua Cheng cries out as they gently nudge that sweet spot inside of him. "Is it good, beloved? Do you feel okay?"

Hua Cheng nods, eye fluttering shut as Xie Lian thrusts his fingers in a tad harder. He fumbles around until he finds Xie Lian's free hand, and makes slow work of twining their fingers together.

"It's so good," he says, breathing fast. Each time he tries to speak, his words seem to hitch as the pads of Xie Lian's fingers tease his prostate. He huffs out a frustrated little whine and tries to shove himself down onto Xie Lian's hand. "I need more, Your Highness, I can't – oh, I can't take it."

"Is San Lang still able to tell me if he wants to stop?" Xie Lian asks, holding his fingers still.

Hua Cheng writhes, chest rising and falling with each frantic breath. He's sweating now, strands of his hair sticking to his forehead, and his cock is swollen and leaking precome in a puddle on his lower belly.

"Yes, but I don't – you can't stop, I need it," he says, his voice hoarse and low. "I don't want you to stop, I need – this, please, please," he reaches down and grabs hold of Xie Lian's wrist, trying to get him to move his fingers again. When Xie Lian doesn't give in, he lets out a wretched sound close to a sob, his eye growing damp. "Gege, I can't take it any longer."

Xie Lian is eager to drag this out for as long as he can because he never gets to see this side of Hua Cheng, close to tears from desperation, but he knows that the scrolls said the pill heightens sensitivity and amplifies pleasure, and Hua Cheng must be close to aching. His cock is so hard it's a wonder he hasn't come entirely untouched at this point, and Xie Lian knows he has to take pity on him.

He says, "All right, San Lang. I've got you. Let me make you feel good," and then drops a kiss to Hua Cheng's open mouth. Hua Cheng whines and nods, knotting his hands into Xie Lian's hair once more.

Xie Lian starts up the smooth slide of his fingers again, pressing in deep, and wraps his clean hand around the base of Hua Cheng's cock. There is so much precome everywhere that it feels as though he's been coated in oil, and Xie Lian only strokes up a single time before Hua Cheng is crying out, snatching his hand away like it's branded him. Xie Lian freezes, taken aback, and panic sears his heart.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" he asks, studying Hua Cheng's face. His brows are pinched, mouth popped open and spit-slick, cheeks stained ruddy red, but his eye is closed. Xie Lian cups his cheek. "Hey, can you – San Lang. Can you look at me, please?"

It seems to take a great deal of effort, but Hua Cheng's lashes eventually flutter, and he peers up at Xie Lian through a foggy glaze that has settled over his eye.

"I'll come," he says after a long pause, too pleasure-drunk to worry about sounding crude. "If you touch my cock, I'll come."

Xie Lian's brows furrow, and he ignores the heat beneath his cheeks. "That's a good thing, isn't it? Don't you want to come?"

But Hua Cheng shakes his head, and there's – unbelievably, his dark eye goes very round and then very wet, and his cheeks pinken as he fights back tears. Xie Lian thinks he's imagining it at first; a twisted scene he's watched play out in his dreamscape over and over again, but he never thought he'd see it come to life. Guilt twists in his belly because he knows he shouldn't find this alluring, but his cock is beyond reason, and it gives a pathetic little twitch as tears start rolling down Hua Cheng's cheek. The air seems to whoosh out of his lungs in one fell swoop.

Thankfully, he recovers quickly, cooing as he brushes the tears away with his thumb.

"Ah, San Lang, don't cry," he rushes out. "Tell gege what's wrong. I'll fix it, just – you have to use your words. If you can't talk, say it into our array."

Hua Cheng's eye lights up like he hadn't thought of that, brain too fuzzy from the aphrodisiac or Xie Lian's hands – he doesn't know. After a brief bout of quiet, Xie Lian hears him in their private array, his words blunt and resolute: "I want to come with gege's cock inside of me."

Xie Lian's hips kick forward of their own volition, and he chuckles weakly at how desperate he's become. He's hardly faring any better than Hua Cheng is.

"You will," Xie Lian promises him, dipping forward to kiss the tip of his nose. "Later, though. Surely San Lang isn't under the assumption that he'll be finishing just once tonight, right?"

Hua Cheng flushes, breathing out a quiet, "Oh."

Xie Lian laughs, his chest full to bursting, and he brushes a bit of Hua Cheng's hair out of his face, tucking it behind one of his pretty, pink ears.

"Now, let me make you feel good. You can have my, ah," he stops short, unable to get the word 'cock' past his lips, "you can have…all of me after I've taken the edge off for you, okay?"

Appeased, Hua Cheng nods, and his tears dry up as quickly as they'd come. The end of his nose and the apples of his cheeks are still flushed red, splotchy and tender-looking, and Xie Lian spends a long, honey-sweet moment covering them in kisses before he takes Hua Cheng's cock in his hand once more, gripping him at the base.

And Xie Lian sees, then, how potent the child-bearing pill's aphrodisiac qualities truly are, because he merely tightens the circle of his hand and strokes up Hua Cheng's cock, twisting his wrist at the head to smooth precome down the length of his shaft, and Hua Cheng falls apart like it's nothing; like he'd been holding back all this time, and his restraint has finally shattered.

He digs his heels into the bed, hands gripping tight to the blankets beneath him as his hips jerk up, too sudden and powerful for Xie Lian to pin them down, and he's – he's coming, just like that. His cock twitches hard in Xie Lian's grip, spurting thick ropes of spend over his knuckles, the inside of his wrist, Hua Cheng's own stomach and chest. It pools in his belly button, slides down the firm ridges of his abdomen, and Xie Lian goes breathless as he watches, too enraptured to remember to move his hand and work him through it.

That doesn't seem to matter, though, because Hua Cheng just fucks up into the tight fist Xie Lian's made for him as he rides out his orgasm. He's making these sounds–tiny, broken things that come from the back of his throat–and he's flushed all the way down to his chest, skin pink beneath the warm lighting of their bedroom. By the time he finally goes boneless against the mattress, he is panting heavily and covered in his own cum, debauched to his very core.

Xie Lian stares at him, wide-eyed. His mouth suddenly feels very dry, and he thinks briefly, mindlessly, that if he pressed the heel of his hand to his own straining cock right this very second, he'd come in his trousers straight away.

He slides his fingers free and wipes both them, and his hand covered in Hua Cheng's seed, onto the bed sheets. Hua Cheng isn't even looking at him, his eye shut tight as he tries to collect himself, but his skin is still flushed and slick with a thin sheen of sweat, and his cock hasn't softened at all. So that's how this is going to go, then.

Xie Lian kicks off his trousers. He avoids coating himself with oil for the time being because he's not sure he can take the touch right now. He's not being helped along by a pill the way Hua Cheng is; if he finished quickly, it'd take some time for him to be ready to go again, and Hua Cheng, who'd cried at the mere thought of Xie Lian not fucking him earlier, can't handle that.

"San Lang," he murmurs sweetly, swiping his thumb over Hua Cheng's cheek, just beneath his closed eye, "can you look at me, please? I need to make sure you're okay."

Through what seems to be a laborious effort, Hua Cheng's lashes flutter, and his eye squints open the tiniest amount. It is damp and shiny as it rakes over Xie Lian's face, not quite focusing the way it should, and Xie Lian's heart aches. He is so beautiful, so horribly cute that it almost hurts, and Xie Lian chuckles softly, leaning down to press his lips against Hua Cheng's forehead.

"How are you feeling?" he asks.

"Good," Hua Cheng says, but his voice is raspy and weak, and so Xie Lian hurries to grab the bedside carafe and pour him a glass. The water dribbles down his chin when Xie Lian holds the cup to his mouth, and it's endearing, how clumsy his pleasure has made him. He pushes away the glass and asks, "Gege will keep going, won't he?"

"Of course, if that's what you want," Xie Lian says, quick to reassure him. He brushes a hand down Hua Cheng's hair, gently petting it as he goes. "Do you need a break first?"

"No," Hua Cheng shakes his head, hands grabbing hold of Xie Lian's forearms to tug him forward until their bodies are lined up again, Xie Lian hovering over him. "No, I – it's still painful, gege. You'll take pity on this poor husband and make him feel better, right?"

He's got that pout on his lips again, and Xie Lian laughs, patting his face. "Cheeky. How could I ever deny you anything?"

At this, Hua Cheng says nothing, but he does spread his legs a little wider, giving Xie Lian room to work. He truly is eager, squirming even as Xie Lian makes quick work of slicking his own cock up with oil, as if he can't take being empty for a single moment longer.

"Gege, gege, hurry," Hua Cheng pleads, words flying out of him quick and breathy. He slings a leg around Xie Lian's waist. "It hurts."

Xie Lian's stomach twists, and his cock jumps where it is pressed to Hua Cheng's entrance, notched on the rim.

"I have you," he promises, bowing forward so that he can leave a spattering of kisses along Hua Cheng's jaw.

Hua Cheng immediately wraps his arms around Xie Lian's neck to draw him closer, pulling until he's able to nuzzle his nose against Xie Lian's cheek. It's warmer than usual from the blush casting his skin peony-pink, and he makes an impatient little noise straight into Xie Lian's ear.

Reaching down with a trembling hand, Xie Lian grabs hold of his length and guides it past Hua Cheng's rim, the stretch tight and wet. Though Xie Lian has only forced the head in, the moment he is breached, Hua Cheng goes stock-still beneath Xie Lian, body pulled tight like a thread ready to snap, and he comes all over himself again. It isn't as much as the first time, the spurts weaker, but he cries out and shudders through it, and Xie Lian freezes, watching him with wide eyes.

Hua Cheng has come without any stimulation to his cock in the past, but it hasn't happened often, and it usually takes a lot of precise aiming at that sweet spot inside of him to get him there. This is new, entirely unprecedented, and Xie Lian is so taken aback that he almost slides his cock free just to take Hua Cheng in his arms and hold him until the pill's effects wear off. Hua Cheng doesn't allow him to move, though; merely tightens his legs around Xie Lian's waist, heels pressing into the small of his back as he forces him deeper, and deeper still, until Xie Lian's cock is completely sheathed. Xie Lian just barely manages to beat back his own orgasm as all the air is forced out of his lungs.

"Gege, please," Hua Cheng's hands frantically pull at Xie Lian's biceps, trying to get him to set some kind of rhythm, but Xie Lian holds firm, giving him time to adjust.

Frustrated that all of his pleading is getting him nowhere, Hua Cheng writhes, trying to shove himself down onto Xie Lian's cock. Xie Lian only grabs tight to his hips and keeps him in place, and he groans, head falling back against the pillows as some of his hair spills from its ribbon and splays around him like dark river water.

"Stay put," Xie Lian tells him, and though Hua Cheng's eye goes watery again, he does try to cease his wiggling.

Appeased, Xie Lian surges forward and kisses his half-closed eyelid, his cheekbone, and then his mouth. Hua Cheng cranes his neck and parts his lips, eager for more, and Xie Lian licks him open with his tongue as he reaches down and grabs one of Hua Cheng's legs, shoving it up, up, until his knee is nearly pressed against his chest. Like this, Xie Lian is able to slide even deeper, and so he does just that, pulling out a little bit before grinding in. Hua Cheng moans, a sharp, needy sound that permeates the air, and his hands claw at Xie Lian's shoulders as he throws his head back.

"Yes," he whimpers, his thighs shaking. His cock, still hard and flushed red and dripping precome all over his stomach, bobs as Xie Lian sets a steady rhythm, pulling out halfway and then pushing in to the root, over and over. "Ah, gege, like that. Harder, please."

Xie Lian slows down instead, dropping his head to nuzzle his nose against the shell of Hua Cheng's ear. His husband has always been sensitive here, and he trembles, tears spilling from the corners of his eyes as Xie Lian's tongue darts out to trace the shell.

"Gege," he begs, rolling his hips to try and get more of Xie Lian's cock, "I need it, I'm – you said you'd take care of me, you said-"

Xie Lian shushes him softly and presses their lips together. Hua Cheng barely kisses back, his breathing ragged, and Xie Lian strokes a soothing hand down his side as he thrusts into him harder, sharper than before.

"I'm trying to treat you well, San Lang," he huffs, throat tight.

"You are, you are, gege – you always treat me so well, I always feel so loved with you," Hua Cheng peers up at him, his eye damp and dark, the pupil blown black. "Just – I want it hard. I can't take it, it's," he pauses, licking his bottom lip, and his hands dig tighter into Xie Lian's shoulders, "it's so much, it's a lot, and I need you so badly. Can't you tell?"

Xie Lian can tell, is the thing, but he's terrified that perhaps the child-bearing pill was a bad idea because he has never seen Hua Cheng this desperate before, has never seen him this far gone, and it so starkly different to what Xie Lian is used to that he's half-tempted to up and run away from it all lest he screw it up and ruin Hua Cheng for good.

But Hua Cheng just looks up at him with that pretty, tear-splotched face, urging Xie Lian to do something, anything, and so Xie Lian takes in a shaky breath, his slow rhythm pausing for a moment, and then fucks into Hua Cheng hard. When the movement forces a cry from Hua Cheng's throat, Xie Lian goes faster, even harder, until their bed frame is shaking and Hua Cheng is scrambling for purchase in the sheets, trying to hold on. All of the strength Xie Lian has carefully cultivated for eight hundred years is used for this: fucking Hua Cheng into the mattress. It feels so good that he loses himself in it, cock twitching as it bullies its way into Hua Cheng's tight passage over and over.

"Like that," Hua Cheng gasps, nodding quickly, "Ah – Your Highness, just like that."

He reaches out to grab hold of Xie Lian's hand and press it against his stomach. Xie Lian isn't big enough to leave an imprint of any kind even as he's fucking into Hua Cheng with enough strength to shove him up the bed, but Hua Cheng writhes all the same, like Xie Lian's cock is one well-aimed thrust away from splitting him open.

"Yes, oh, it's – gege," his voice trembles, the words coming out wobbly, "you're making me feel so good, I'll – I'll come again," his nails dig crescents into Xie Lian's shoulders. "Need you to keep going even if I finish."

Xie Lian's rhythm falters, slowing the tiniest amount.

"San Lang," he starts, "if you…I'll have to stop, if you come."

Three times in a single night–consecutively, no less–is borderline painful. Xie Lian knows; he's been there before, and while he'd be fine to let it happen any other time, Hua Cheng isn't thinking clearly right now. The child-bearing pill has blurred the lines of pleasure and pain, and come morning, he may very well wish that Xie Lian had taken it easy.

But, "No, gege," Hua Cheng cries, fat tears rolling down his cheek, "I won't feel better until you finish in me, I need – inside, and it's-" he cuts himself off with a great, heaving sob as the tip of Xie Lian's cock accidentally catches his prostate. When he speaks again, he sounds hoarse, the breath drawn up tight in his chest. "You have to keep going. Please."

Could it be that the child-bearing pill demands…his seed?

Xie Lian's length twitches inside of Hua Cheng, the breath leaving his lungs all at once. He doesn't want to stop, not with Hua Cheng begging for it, crying as he grasps the sheets, Xie Lian's shoulders, whatever he can reach, and takes his cock devoutly. Everything about it is good, and hot, and tight, and Hua Cheng looks so beautiful falling apart like this. And he's…he's asking for it, isn't he? He knows their safeword; knows to reach out in the array or send Xie Lian a signal if he wants to stop, but he's pleading with him to keep going until Xie Lian has stuffed him full. What else can Xie Lian do but comply?

"Okay," he promises, hips slamming into Hua Cheng harder, "I've got you, San Lang. I'll give you what you need."

The tension seems to bleed out of Hua Cheng's body at his words, and he melts into the bed as he's fucked, his mouth hanging open to let out these horrid little sobs that make Xie Lian's hands shake. It takes nothing–a couple of pointed thrusts at that sweet spot inside of him–and then everything goes white-hot as his body tightens around Xie Lian's cock and spasms with the force of his orgasm. It seems to rock through him in waves, his eye slamming shut as his legs kick out against his control. Xie Lian goes breathless when Hua Cheng's spine bows, his weeping cock twitches, and then finally, unbelievably, he spills all over his belly, completely untouched for the second time that evening.

He fucks him through it as best he can, but Hua Cheng is gripping him so tight it's near-impossible to move. His legs go lax, falling open wider, but his arms encircle Xie Lian's neck with as much strength as he can muster, keeping him close. His breathing, which had been hard and heaving before, has gone shallow and quick, puffing out of him in frantic breaths.

Xie Lian freezes. Hua Cheng is staring up at him expectantly. His eye bores into Xie Lian's, hungry-looking, clear despite being red-rimmed from tears, and it's so – it's different than the easy expression he usually wears; the lilt of his mouth at its corners and that sweet, put-upon blush that truly does darken when Xie Lian looks at him for a moment too long. Desperation trickles down Xie Lian's spine like ice-cold water, and he finds himself pressing his palm to Hua Cheng's stomach like he might be able to reach inside and feel the way his body takes the shape of Xie Lian's cock.

His hips kick forward before he can help it. Hua Cheng's mouth pops open, tongue so sweet-looking, all pink and wet as it darts out to lick across his bottom lip, and Xie Lian just pushes into him harder, his heart fluttering as frantically as a tiny animal trapped in a snare.

"In, in me," Hua Cheng pants, his own hand flying down to envelop the one Xie Lian has pressed to his stomach. "Inside, I need it, I need – gege, come on."

Xie Lian groans and lets his head drop, forehead pressed to Hua Cheng's shoulder. He ruts into him, hot pleasure curling in his stomach, making his arms tremble as he tries to hold himself up. It's addicting, this sort of heat – the way Hua Cheng takes his cock and warms up from the exertion of it all. Xie Lian latches his teeth to that lean neck and bites hard, sucking at his skin. Hua Cheng jerks, tightening around him, but he doesn't bruise no matter how thoroughly Xie Lian worries his neck with his teeth, the smooth expanse of his throat forever un-mottled. It's the first time during a round of physical intimacy that Xie Lian has ever felt…disappointed. Not by Hua Cheng–never, ever by him–but by what he so desperately wishes he could provide; a mark, a lover's bite. A way to say, 'this is the one I am devoted to. Do you see my teeth prints on his neck?'

As if he can read the thoughts flashing rapidly through Xie Lian's mind, Hua Cheng's face crumbles, and a fresh wave of tears roll down his cheek.

"I'm sorry," he cries, clinging to Xie Lian. "Gege, this one is sorry."

Xie Lian sputters, pausing. "What – San Lang, don't apologize when you've done nothing wrong. Why are you sorry?"

"You can't even do the things you want to do because this body is imperfect," Hua Cheng sniffles, lashes clumped together as his eye grows even wetter.

"Ah – no!" Xie Lian quickly pulls back, taking Hua Cheng's face between his hands, and kisses him soundly, smoothing his thumbs over those cheekbones to wipe away any stray tears. "You mustn't say things like that. This god forbids it. And besides, my desires are…selfish."

He chews on his bottom lip for a moment, his husband's face still cradled firmly in his hands.

"Laying claim to you is…ah," Xie Lian sighs, frustrated that he can't seem to get the words out right. "I shouldn't even want to do that. San Lang is his own person. So, marking you with my mouth – that doesn't matter, all right?" He leans down to kiss the bridge of Hua Cheng's nose, his fluttering eyelid, and then the corner of his lips. When he speaks again, he makes sure to soften his voice at the edges. "No more crying, silly boy. Okay?"

Hua Cheng hums, nodding once, but says, "Gege, there's – you can mark me another way. If," he pauses, wriggling his hips to get a feel for Xie Lian's cock, buried deep but unmoving, "if you finish inside, that's something only you can do to me. No one else."

Xie Lian's stomach lurches, and he grinds his cock into that tight heat without meaning to. Hua Cheng moans high, reedy, and tosses his head back as he nods.

"Yes, just like that. Please. I need it," he rasps, hands sliding into Xie Lian's hair, knuckles wrapped around the long strands. "Keep going. Want it harder, gege."

A breathless little laugh is torn from Xie Lian's throat.

"San Lang will truly be the death of me," he teases, and then snaps his hips forward, fucking into him quick as a whip-crack and twice as sharp.

Hua Cheng takes it devoutly, his back arched like a perfectly crafted bow. Xie Lian is sweating, close to panti ng now, and he hurriedly slides an arm underneath him, holding him close. Like this, Hua Cheng's sensitive, half-hard cock nudges Xie Lian's stomach with every thrust, and he nearly screams as Xie Lian keeps him in place, yanking him down onto his cock while he pushes up into him.

It feels so good it makes Xie Lian dizzy, and he doesn't realize that the low, broken groans filling the room are coming from his own mouth until Hua Cheng gasps wetly, "Yes, gege is fucking me so well – ah, you're so beautiful, you sound so perfect," right against the shell of his ear.

It's suddenly so horrifying, the strength of the urge Xie Lian gets to take and take without stopping for air. He wants to tame and keep and protect, but lying dormant beneath the curve of his ribs is something darker, more fear-inducing. The desire to claim and taunt and break.

Moonlight beams in through their large bedroom windows, casting Hua Cheng's pale skin in a milky glow, and Xie Lian finds himself tracing the highs and lows of the shadows across his body as he moves faster, chasing his own pleasure. Hua Cheng clings to him so tightly it becomes impossible to move, and Xie Lian reaches up to gently detangle himself, pressing Hua Cheng's wrists into the mattress and urging him to keep them there as he fucks him harder.

"More, more, gege, please," Hua Cheng pleads. The hands curled into the bedsheets by his head grip the fabric hard, his knuckles going white as scrabbles for something solid to tether himself to. Xie Lian kisses him, their teeth knocking together, and Hua Cheng lets out a breathy whimper against his lips, rolling his hips up to meet Xie Lian's as he cries, "So good, gege – inside, I want, ah," he shivers as the tip of Xie Lian's cock rams into his sweet spot once, then hits it on every instroke. "I want it, want you to mark me. I want to be yours, please, please."

He's rambling, little ah, ah, ah's tumbling out of his mouth each time Xie Lian slides into him, his voice breathier than usual, all broken and coarse, and it's maddening. It makes Xie Lian hold him tighter, lifting his hips to push into him deeper, smoother, the slick sounds of the thrusts mingling with the creaking of the bed frame and their panting breaths. Xie Lian is slightly dumbstruck that he himself hasn't come yet, so wound up with desire it seems impossible his cock hasn't spilled, but he keeps going until Hua Cheng is hard again, the length of him prodding Xie Lian's stomach.

"Close, San Lang," Xie Lian chokes out, his hips stuttering in their rhythm as he loses himself. "Close, close."

"Yes, I – please, Your Highness, give it to me," Hua Cheng begs, writhing on Xie Lian's cock. His lashes are clumped with tears, skin rosy-pink and flushed so prettily, and Xie Lian lets out a tight groan, rutting into him faster. "I want it, want to be full, want to be marked by you. Oh, gege, gege – please, I-I feel like I'm going crazy, I can't take it-"

"Shh, I've got you," Xie Lian murmurs. The arm he has around Hua Cheng's waist tightens almost possessively, and he crushes their chests together as he moves. His tongue feels too big in his mouth, heavy and dry even when he swallows, and he finds himself babbling without meaning to: "Does San Lang want it? Does he want it badly?"

Hua Cheng sobs, nodding frantically as his arms fly up to encircle Xie Lian's neck again. "Yes, fuck, I want it," he sniffles, the tears back full-force now. "It's – ah, it's all I want, please, please. Inside, gege."

Xie Lian kisses his chin. Tells him, "All right, San Lang. This, oh," his cock jerks where it's buried inside of Hua Cheng, "this gege will give you what you desire."

"Gege will mark me?" Hua Cheng asks weakly.

Xie Lian nods. "Yes."

"Gege will," Hua Cheng snags his fingers through Xie Lian's tangled hair, holding on at the roots, "gege will fill me up with his seed and fuck me full until-"

Eyes widening, Xie Lian quickly covers Hua Cheng's mouth with his hand, unable to let himself hear the rest of that filthy sentence. Hua Cheng only moans, shifting beneath him and nodding so vigorously it's a wonder he doesn't black out.

When he's quieted down, Xie Lian carefully removes his hand and says, low, "Gege will fill you up. San Lang's going to take it so well, isn't he?"

"Yes," Hua Cheng promises, chest heaving. "So well, so well. I swear it."

"Almost like," Xie Lian swallows, the tips of his ears growing hot. "Almost like you were made for this, right?"

Hua Cheng cries out, one leg coming up to wrap around Xie Lian's waist and urge him to go deeper, harder.

"Yes," he whispers, nails digging into Xie Lian's shoulders sharp enough to sting. "Yes, I can – anything for gege, anything," he reaches down with one hand and presses on his own stomach, and Xie Lian's brows furrow as he tries to keep up with the conversation, but he's certain they're not talking about the same thing anymore when Hua Cheng says, "If gege wants a child, I'll give him one. Anything he wants, anything – this believer is his, only his."

Oh. Fuck, what – what in the world is he..? Asking for his seed, talking about giving him a child, wanting to be claimed? It's sudden and new and terrifying, and Xie Lian stutters out a breathless moan, head dropping as his hips jump of their own accord. This is just play-acting, isn't it? They've done it enough times in bed before, but something about it feels surreal when Xie Lian knows Hua Cheng has taken the child-bearing pill, even if it doesn't truly work on ghosts.

"Unless…gege doesn't want that," Hua Cheng says, taking Xie Lian's silence for rejection.

A trail of tears spill down that pretty face, and Xie Lian is quick to wipe them away, shushing him sweetly.

"No, don't cry. I want it," he rushes out, so eager to calm Hua Cheng down that he refuses to let the embarrassment trip him up. "I want it, too. San Lang would be so beautiful like…like that."

Xie Lian clears his throat, cheeks burning as images flood his mind against his will; Hua Cheng, dripping with his seed. Xie Lian watching the way it dribbles out of him and onto the bed sheets before he fucks it back into him again, over and over. Marked, from the inside out. His. It's such a selfish want, so flimsy and fleeting, but the more Xie Lian thinks about it, the more he craves it. He can't stop panting, huffing out tiny moans against Hua Cheng's mouth as he pushes into him and imagines what it would be like to have him beneath him like this, always.

"I want it," Hua Cheng tells him, digging the heel of his foot into Xie Lian's lower back. "Gege, you – please, you said-"

"Okay," Xie Lian cuts him off with a brutal kiss, his mouth tingling when he pulls away. "Okay, I've got you. I've got you, San Lang."

He redoubles his efforts, jerking Hua Cheng down onto his cock each time he thrusts into him, and when their hips meet, it feels like lightning has struck Xie Lian's core. Hua Cheng lets himself be had, body going lax, and so Xie Lian takes it as a sign to fuck into him harder, faster, until Hua Cheng is beyond himself with pleasure, unable to keep his eye open. He shifts up the bed with each harsh thrust, his cock bobbing with the movements, bouncing against his lower stomach, and he's so – he's beautiful, and Xie Lian reaches down to stroke him so that the two of them can finish together.

"So good for me," he finds himself saying, wrist twinging as he works Hua Cheng's cock fast and tight. Hua Cheng moans so loud it reverberates through the room, and he clenches around Xie Lian as he's speared open. "Oh, San Lang, San Lang, you're so – you're perfect, you're so good. Doing so well."

"Gege," Hua Cheng sobs, seemingly torn between thrusting up into the fist stroking his cock and getting away from it, his hips wriggling as he's taken apart. "Gege, it's – I can't, it's too much, it's-"

"Does," Xie Lian feels his own orgasm settle in his stomach, and he wills it back long enough to check in on his husband, "does San Lang want to stop?"

"No!" Hua Cheng shakes his head, eye widening. "No, please, please, don't stop."

"All right," Xie Lian kisses his temple, "then…I think you can take it," he says, and strokes him faster.

The shudder that wracks through Hua Cheng's body is violent, and Xie Lian cries out as his hole seems to tighten impossibly, almost too narrow to continue thrusting into. It's good, everything hot and wet the way it should be. Hua Cheng's cock is dribbling precome over Xie Lian's knuckles, and Xie Lian slides home three, four more times before he's shaking, unable to hold back any longer.

"Coming," he says, frantic, and Hua Cheng moans loudly and nods, holding onto him. "San Lang, ah – coming, I'm coming."

The pleasure mounts and boils over. Xie Lian thrusts into him hard, fast, forcing his cock in even as Hua Cheng tenses up and shudders through his own orgasm, trying to cast him out. He comes silently, his mouth hanging open as he thrashes against the bed, but that's okay, that's fine because Xie Lian is loud enough for the both of them, groaning into the skin of Hua Cheng's neck as he fills him up with his spend. There is so much of it, seemingly never-ending as it coats Hua Cheng's insides and then spills out past his swollen rim. It is next to impossible to come down from this sort of pleasure. Hua Cheng writhes and twists as Xie Lian ruts into him again, weaker this time, before they both collapse against the bed, completely spent.

Xie Lian flips over to lie on his back and tug Hua Cheng against his side. Hua Cheng goes easily, boneless as he snuggles into Xie Lian's chest, his cheek squished there. His face is flushed, splotchy-red, and there are tear tracks running down his ruddy cheeks. His bottom lip seems to quiver, close to a pout even though he's gotten what he wanted, and it's so cute that Xie Lian almost starts crying, the telltale pinpricks making his eyes burn. Oh, how he likes him…so much. How cute he is, exhausted and taken apart. It's ridiculous, seeing the renowned Crimson Rain Sought Flower like this, but Xie Lian likes it. Very much.

"How do you feel?" he asks, gently taking Hua Cheng's hair down so that he can run his fingers through it, working on untangling the knots.

"Good," Hua Cheng whispers. "Sated."

A smile works its way to Xie Lian's face. "Ah, that's good, then. So long as my San Lang is feeling all right."

He hugs him a little tighter, working a quiet groan out of Hua Cheng's mouth. They're both a mess, covered in sweat and oil and spend, but Hua Cheng looks significantly worse. Xie Lian imagines it's going to get uncomfortable soon, so he says, "Stay here. Let me get something to clean you up with," and makes to get out of bed.

Before he can rise, however, Hua Cheng's hands shoot out, grabbing hold of Xie Lian's wrists, and he shakes his head. His hair falls into his face, covering his eye, and Xie Lian coaxes one of his hands free so that he can brush it back and tuck it behind his ear. There's a displeased twist tugging at Hua Cheng's lips, face flushed pink as he peers up at Xie Lian through the fan of his long lashes.

"Don't go," he pleads. Wild tendrils of panic swirl around in his eye, his gaze stormy, and he squeezes Xie Lian's wrist tighter, holding his hand to his chest. "I don't...just, not yet. Please. Don't go yet."

Xie Lian blinks, slightly taken aback. He supposes he doesn't have much experience taking care of his husband after they've played this way–and so thoroughly, too–so naturally he's a bit bad at it. Well, practice makes perfect. Hua Cheng is sweet and pliant right now, curled up in Xie Lian's arms, and so he just keeps holding him close, stroking a hand down his hair as he nuzzles against the top of his head and breathes in the scent of the soap and oils they share in the bath each day.

"Okay," he murmurs, "I won't go."

Eventually, the tension that had crept its way into Hua Cheng's muscles at the prospect of Xie Lian getting out of bed ebbs away, and he relaxes into Xie Lian's side once more.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" Xie Lian asks after a brief wave of quiet. Hua Cheng seems sleepy, yawning against his chest, and with his inhibitions lowered, Xie Lian knows this is when he'll be most honest.

"Never," Hua Cheng says, and it sounds so earnest coming from him, so unerringly sincere, that Xie Lian has no choice but to believe him. "Gege could never hurt me."

Xie Lian frowns. "That's not true."

"Well, gege would never hurt me on purpose. I know that," Hua Cheng says, trailing his cool fingertips over the lean plains of Xie Lian's abdomen. "I liked it. Don't worry about this one, Your Highness. I'm so…"

Xie Lian glances down at him when the pause drags out longer than expected. Hua Cheng's brows are pinched like he's thinking hard about something, but his eye is wide and clear, almost sparkling beneath the lantern light. He looks at Xie Lian and smiles at him, the corners of his mouth curling up like the first tendrils of spring blossoms reaching for the sun.

When he speaks again, it is low and careful, like he's weighing the words on his tongue: "I'm not sure I'll ever believe that I deserve you, but I'm so happy. It's – I can feel it here," he forces Xie Lian's palm flat over his heart, "inside me, all the time. Just…full."

Xie Lian's fingers twitch against Hua Cheng's skin, and his own heart gives a pathetic little kick in his chest. He presses a kiss to the crown of Hua Cheng's head, so overcome with adoration that it aches down to his marrow. He thinks of sunlight splotches in Hua Cheng's hair, of intertwined fingers, of cuddling close with their legs tangled. He thinks of true devotion, of the only person who has ever believed in him unfailingly. And then, as he lets his heavy eyes fall shut and sleep creeps into his bones to take him at long last – he thinks of nothing at all.

–

Life post-fall of the heavenly capital boasts many positive things, with Xie Lian's favorites being these:

Waking up on their giant, resplendent divan in Thousand Lights Temple, Xie Lian's face pressed into Hua Cheng's chest, warm with sleep. Having breakfast together out in the garden when the weather permits, and in the cozy, overcrowded sunroom when it doesn't. Taking baths in the bathing pool that Hua Cheng built especially to Xie Lian's liking, where they take their time washing each other's hair, or trading slow kisses that always, always become fervent. Making meals in Paradise Manor's gorgeous kitchen to bring to Puqi Village whenever they go back to do the occasional shrine maintenance. Walking alongside the waterfront in Ghost City after nightfall, so caught up in one another that the residents take one look at them, and their greetings of, "Evening Chengzhu, Grand Uncle!" die on their tongues.

So – there is an endless barrage of things to be happy about, and Xie Lian finds himself humming a song under his breath as he wades ankle-deep through the rice paddy fields, large buckets full of water balanced in both hands. He and Hua Cheng are quite far from Paradise Manor, answering prayers near Mount Taicang while they work on rebuilding the temple. It is nearly done; Hua Cheng is good with his hands and twice as fast as Xie Lian could ever hope to be, and they'll be heading back to Ghost City in no more than a few days at this rate.

There is little sun this late in the evening to regulate the temperature, but Xie Lian has spent many chilly, Autumn days with nothing more than his tattered daoist robes, and so he's quite warm. Which is fortunate, because he'd neglected to slip into the layered robe Hua Cheng had bought him last fall before leaving Paradise Manor. The villagers working alongside him are dressed down just as much as he is, their clothes rolled up at the legs and sleeves, and Xie Lian moves faster to make it a little bit easier on them. Answering prayers usually means heading straight into the heart of whatever situation is relayed to him, and Hua Cheng almost always tags along.

Speaking of, Xie Lian lost him some ways back in the paddy fields, and he cranes his neck and gives the grounds a quick sweep to see if he can find him. Though he isn't wearing his typical red robes today, instead disguised as a farmer in muted shades of browns and blues, Xie Lian spots him easily some odd distance away, lugging what looks to be a basket of husks in his arms. A fellow farmer says something to him as he passes, but Xie Lian is too far away to hear it; in response to whatever it was, Hua Cheng politely bows his head.

Xie Lian smiles to himself, humming with renewed vigor. They've been working the fields for the better half of the day, but time has passed quickly. It always does when they're together. Still, Xie Lian is eager to head back to their little cottage that remains on Mount Taicang and whip them up something for dinner. As an immortal, he doesn't need to eat, but he can hardly stand dealing with hunger pangs anymore. Where he used to be able to comfortably go a full week without eating when there was no food to be found, he's lucky to hold out for a day or two now. Being so thoroughly taken care of by the cooks at Paradise Manor has spoiled him.

He's just finished collecting the hulls at his feet when the same farmer that had spoken to Hua Cheng across the field approaches him. He's an older man that prays at the temple on Mount Taicang religiously, and Xie Lian has spoken to him a handful of times, always polite, brief musings.

He nods his head in greeting, murmuring a kind, "Good evening, daozhang."

"Hello," Xie Lian flashes him a small smile. "I'll be heading out soon, but most of the husks have been collected."

"You're a godsend, truly," the old man says. He's sunburnt across the bridge of his nose, and he wrings his hands as he shoots a look over Xie Lian's shoulder, toward...Hua Cheng?

"Daozhang," he begins sheepishly, not meeting Xie Lian's eyes, "though it isn't my place to say, and I've already mentioned it to your friend over there, you two should really go rest. That youth you brought with you doesn't look so good. I caught him leaning up against my ox cart earlier. I thought he was going to pass out, he looked so pale."

Xie Lian frowns, his heart lurching inexplicably. Hua Cheng had seemed perfectly fine each time Xie Lian had spoken to him in passing as they worked. Though his pallor was a bit paler than usual, Xie Lian had chalked it up to the sun being out less and less these days, and so he hadn't mentioned it. But feeling so poorly he had to sneakily take a break behind someone's ox cart was concerning, and so Xie Lian hurries to pass his buckets off to the old farmer, hastily murmuring his thanks before scurrying off in search of Hua Cheng.

Could he be coming down with a cold again? The last time he'd gotten sick had resulted in a fever that lasted a day or two, some sneezing, and a very clingy ghost king pressed up against Xie Lian's side while being read to. If he was sick, something easy on the stomach like cabbage soup would do wonders. Xie Lian could have him feeling better in no time.

Only, when he approaches Hua Cheng, he realizes that this is, perhaps, a little bit out of his jurisdiction. He's got his back turned to Xie Lian, but he glances over his shoulder at Xie Lian's sloshing footsteps through the paddy fields, smiling honey-sweet. If Xie Lian weren't looking closely, he might not even notice right away, but – oh, yes. Hua Cheng is pale save for the rosy flush splattered across his cheeks, and he is sweating, but it can't be from exertion; Xie Lian knows that working the fields for a day wouldn't be enough to exhaust him. His hairline is damp with it, and sweat pools at his temples and rolls down the sides of his face in rivulets.

"San Lang," Xie Lian walks toward him, taking the basket he's holding into his own arms, instead. Hua Cheng frowns but lets him carry it. "You don't look so good. Are you feeling okay?"

Hua Cheng schools his expression into something pleasantly neutral save for the teasing lilt of his lips.

"I'm fine, gege," he assures him. "Just about finished here. Shall we drop that basket off to the villagers and head up to the cottage?"

Xie Lian squints. Being married for a little over two years now has afforded him many luxuries, one of them being the ability to read Hua Cheng that only gets easier with each passing day. He knows his husband is downplaying his discomfort, but there's nothing to be done about that out here in the middle of the field. So, Xie Lian just nods and begins walking toward the village to drop off the remaining husks. Hua Cheng follows close behind.

The sun has long since set by the time they finally make their way to the cottage arm-in-arm. Xie Lian is particularly clumsy after dark, and Hua Cheng stays close to him as they walk along the faded trail. He's more playful than usual, reaching around to tap Xie Lian's shoulder when he isn't looking, or gently jabbing a finger into the ticklish spot beneath Xie Lian's ribs when the latter goes quiet for too long. Xie Lian knows he's just trying to distract him from whatever illness is plaguing him, but it won't work. It absolutely won't.

Except that it does. Xie Lian is a laughing mess by the time they reach the cottage, stumbling past the threshold on tired, labor-worn legs. He shoos Hua Cheng off to go make himself comfortable at the table while Xie Lian cooks–bland congee with no seasoning, as now isn't the time to play around with flavors–and busies himself with serving dinner. Hua Cheng eats his entire bowl very obediently, lets Xie Lian dress him in clean robes, and by the time they're ready to settle in for the night, he really does look much better than he had before. That pretty blush on the apples of his cheeks has disappeared, and his skin has regained some of its pinkish undertones.

Xie Lian is so tired when he finally plops onto the bed, curled up against Hua Cheng's side, that he settles in and refuses to move a muscle. He smooths the palm of his hand over Hua Cheng's stomach, right where his robes have parted from not being tied properly, and feels his abdomen flex beneath his fingertips.

Hua Cheng has an arm thrown around him, holding him close, and he presses a kiss to the center of Xie Lian's forehead, murmuring, "Thanks for taking such good care of me, gege. This one is feeling much better."

And, like a fool, Xie Lian takes him at his word and drifts to sleep without a worry in the world.

–

When Xie Lian wakes, there is little sun with which to gauge the time, and Hua Cheng is gone.

It isn't strange that he's not in bed. Hua Cheng almost always rises first, fully dressed with breakfast ready to be served by the time Xie Lian has even cracked open an eye. What's odd is that he isn't in the cottage at all, and after Xie Lian hastily tosses on his outer robe and slips out the door, he can't find him outside either. It isn't like him to just leave without letting Xie Lian know where he's gone, and yesterday evening comes flooding back in bouts; the fever he'd been sporting, the flush on his cheeks, the sweat dripping from his hairline.

Panic seizes Xie Lian by the throat. What if he'd gone off to help out at the farm and passed out in the rice fields? What if he'd headed into town to grab ingredients for breakfast and got ambushed by some assailants who knew he was feeling poorly? He was weakest during Mount Tonglu's opening, and his enemies had come for him, then. Why would it be any different now?

Xie Lian tries their private communication array, but it is eerily silent – another abnormality. The past hurdles to the forefront of his mind with violent ferocity, and he thinks of translucent skin, fading red robes, and the lightning-burst of a thousand butterflies disintegrating before his very eyes.

And suddenly…Xie Lian is as weak as he always feared he was, deep down. All of his strength means nothing if he cannot protect the people he loves. He manages to keep his knees from buckling by gripping the cottage's door frame, and it splinters beneath his touch. He feels so sick with worry he almost vomits, barely slapping a hand over his mouth in time to will it back.

He has to find him. Whatever sickness has taken hold of him is surely a comfort to the rabble who want him dead, and the only things that keep Xie Lian from spiraling further are the ashes around his neck, and the red string on his third finger that has not only not faded, but seems to pulse brighter today than on any other. He touches the simple knot with his fingertips, exhaling out a shaky breath, and pushes out of the cottage entryway, ready to go sprinting into town to question the villagers.

He makes it not even one full stride before he hears, "Your Highness?" from off to his right, curious yet tentative.

Xie Lian freezes, then regains his senses enough to whip his head around. Hua Cheng is standing there with two buckets of water in his hands, brows pinched together as he takes in Xie Lian's frazzled state. He's in his San Lang form today, dressed in those gorgeous red robes that compliment his complexion, and he's glowing in a way he hadn't been yesterday, his cheeks flushed a healthy-looking shade of peach blossom pink.

Relief comes sailing through Xie Lian sharp as cut diamond, and he bounds toward Hua Cheng to throw his arms around his neck. The force of it makes Hua Cheng stumble backwards, some of the water sloshing out of his buckets. He carefully sets them down and returns the embrace, his strong arms wrapping securely around Xie Lian's waist. The cool tip of his nose nuzzles against Xie Lian's temple, and he hears Hua Cheng take in a deep breath, as if the way he smells is a comfort.

They stand like that for a moment, locked together as they sway in place, until Xie Lian can take it no longer and he must pull back to examine him. Hua Cheng lets himself be taken by the shoulders; lets Xie Lian's work-rough hands tilt his head this way and that, his expression pinched as he looks him over. He doesn't feel warm to the touch the way he had the day before, and he isn't shining with sweat or flushed down to his chest, so he must be feeling better.

"Gege?" Hua Cheng lifts a hand to brush Xie Lian's hair behind his ear, still knotted from sleep. He hadn't even bothered to try and make himself look presentable before bolting out of the cottage, and as he stands outside in his hastily done-up robes, embarrassment sweeps over him. He clears his throat, averting his gaze, and Hua Cheng cups his face with both hands. "Are you okay?"

"Where did you go?" Xie Lian asks in lieu of answering, because he can't very well say, I thought you left me and I was so frightened I couldn't breathe.

"You fell asleep before you could bathe last night, so I thought you'd want a bath before we set out to answer the rest of the prayers," Hua Cheng explains. His thumbs notch beneath Xie Lian's jawline, and he tilts his head up so that Xie Lian is forced to look him in the eye. "I didn't mean to worry you."

"But," Xie Lian's eyes dart left, right, and he worries his bottom lip between his teeth, "I called for you in our private array. Why didn't you answer?"

"I was walking up the trail when you reached out to me," Hua Cheng explains. "I thought you'd see me. I'm sorry, I didn't – gege, this one is fine. There's no need to be upset. Can you try to take some deep breaths for me?"

Xie Lian shifts, edgy like a wild, injured animal, and realizes that he's been close to hyperventilating this entire conversation. His chest is so heavy it's painful, and when he tries to suck in air through his mouth, he chokes. His throat constricts, and he coughs as his eyes water, and then he's – then they're stinging with tears, and he's crying. He isn't sure why. Hua Cheng is standing here in front of him, safe and sound, and the red string is still glowing, and the ashes are a comfort around Xie Lian's neck, but he can't seem to stop thinking about the wraith butterflies; about the very real, very tangible weight of Hua Cheng in his arms before he dissipated into a flash of light, and then nothing at all.

"Oh, gege," Hua Cheng scoops him up into a hug, tugging Xie Lian to his chest. One of his big hands envelops the back of Xie Lian's head, thumb gently stroking through his hair. "It's all right. I shouldn't have left without waking you up first. Forgive me."

He sounds pained as he rushes out the earnest apology, and Xie Lian wants to tell him that it's fine–that this is an overreaction to something he is still working through, bit by bit–but his tongue feels as though it has been glued to the roof of his mouth, and he can do little else but cling to Hua Cheng, hands fisted into his robes at the small of his back, and try to stop the tears gathered at his lash line from rolling down his cheeks.

For nearly eight hundred years, Xie Lian had been alone. He'd forgotten what it meant to crave someone's company until Hua Cheng came along, all bright, twinkling smiles and clever words, and now that he has it, the fear of losing it is so great it becomes crushing at times. He'd barely survived it in the past–first with Wu Ming, and then again after the battle with Jun Wu–and he's not certain he would again. As his hands tighten in Hua Cheng's clothes, keeping him close, his brain works to process a fundamental truth: Xie Lian has done without for so long that he could lose everything in the blink of an eye and recover from the loss just as quickly, only – that does not apply to Hua Cheng. And hasn't that always been the complete truth of his life? Sometimes, it only takes one person.

"Hey," comes Hua Cheng's soothing voice, dropped low as he tugs Xie Lian back enough to lean down and press their foreheads together. "Do you remember what I said, Your Highness? I will never leave you."

And Xie Lian knows that it is so, the same way he knows the sun will rise each day, which is why it's so stupidly embarrassing that he's crying. He huffs out a frustrated sigh, working to steady his breathing, and when it begins coming easily again, Hua Cheng smiles at him so big and pretty and bright that Xie Lian has to close his eyes to keep from roiling over with tears once more.

"Ah, sorry, San Lang," he chuckles, but it sounds weak, frail at its edges, and his face burns. "I'm overreacting, aren't I?"

Hua Cheng shakes his head only once, but it is a firm, irrefutable movement.

"Never," he says. "Do you believe me?"

Xie Lian laughs, and his heart feels so whole cradled between Hua Cheng's hands like this that his breathing almost hitches again, for a different reason entirely this time.

"Of course. My San Lang has never lied to me. Now," he clears his throat and quickly wipes away the rest of his tears with the sleeve of his robe, "let's go answer some prayers. I could use a distraction. And when we return, we'll have a bath together. How does that sound?"

"Like a dream," Hua Cheng sighs wistfully, twining his fingers with Xie Lian's. "Gege always has the best ideas."

Xie Lian has to keep himself from pinching Hua Cheng's cheek, instead giving him a tiny smile before tugging him down the trail, toward the village, and on to the next adventure.

–

Xie Lian, walking just half a pace behind Hua Cheng, wonders how long he can go while staring at the back of his husband's head before he's caught.

Hua Cheng has his hair pulled up in a bun, red ribbon tying it off, and the skin at the base of his neck is flushed pink, covered in a thin sheen of sweat and glistening beneath the too-bright sunlight beating down on them as they peruse the market stalls. They're somewhere between Mount Taicang and Ghost City, meandering through an area neither of them have spent much time in on their way back to Paradise Manor. Xie Lian is still sticky with sweat from running around and answering prayers all day, and even Hua Cheng, whose skin rarely takes on any color at all, looks flushed and tired.

It's like this; Xie Lian was a god, and before that he was a cultivator who practiced abstention, and before that, a pampered crown prince. But now, though granted the title of god once more, he is something much more important and thought-consuming: a husband – and at his base level, a man.

Hua Cheng is gorgeous when his robes are a little bit imperfect and his hair is pulled up and his skin is flushed pink. He is gorgeous with the sun kissing the high points of his face, and he is gorgeous as he looks over his shoulder at Xie Lian and raises one of those dark, well-groomed eyebrows. Xie Lian's mouth goes dry because despite being alive for eight hundred years, this sort of beauty is something he was never convinced he'd have to protect himself against, and so he has given into it. Would give into it, over and over again.

"Gege is distracted," Hua Cheng notes, sounding amused.

Xie Lian clears his throat, looking away at a stall off to the left, crammed full of hair trinkets and other little pieces of hand-crafted jewelry.

"Ah," he begins, face growing warm, "San Lang is pretty. It can't be helped."

"Oh?" Laughter tumbles past Hua Cheng's lips, and though Xie Lian is intentionally not looking at him, he knows for a fact that there's a fond glimmer in his eye. "So bold today. But," he sidles up behind Xie Lian, who is fiddling with a jade hairpin in the shape of a butterfly on the stall's display stand, "thank you for the compliment. Though, His Highness is a thousand, thousand times more beautiful than this humble believer could ever hope to be."

Xie Lian's fingers twitch where they clutch the hairpin, and he sets it down before he accidentally crushes it.

"That isn't true," he says, firm but not mean, because he knows that hundreds of years of self-loathing do not dissipate overnight, "San Lang is very pretty. And," he shoots him a look over his shoulder, cutting Hua Cheng off before he can argue, "not only that, but so devoted to this old god. He would never suggest that I'm being dishonest, would he?"

Hua Cheng blinks. When he speaks again, he sounds slightly winded.

"Never, Your Highness."

Content, Xie Lian hums and turns back to the jewelry stall. The elderly woman running it flashes him a toothy grin from the stool she's sitting on, nodding toward the butterfly pin.

"It's carved out of pure jade, daozhang. One of a kind," she promises. "Do you not think it to be lovely?"

"I do," Xie Lian says, already fumbling for the coin pouch in his sleeve. "I'll take it."

"Allow me, gege," Hua Cheng places four coins on the stall table, certainly more than the jade hairpin is worth, and the old woman looks a healthy combination of thrilled and startled as she stares at the pay and then hastily wraps up the hairpin for them. "You needn't spend your own coins when we're together. Or ever, for that matter."

"Perhaps this one wanted to spoil San Lang for once," Xie Lian grumbles, but his face is too red-hot for him to put much bite behind his words, and Hua Cheng seems to not have heard him anyway.

The woman hands Xie Lian the hairpin, and he thanks her politely as he takes it, tugging Hua Cheng away from the stall. Once they're ducked between an inn and a teahouse, hidden in the shadows of a little alley, he unwraps the jade pin and holds it up.

"Can I put it in your hair?" he asks.

Hua Cheng chuckles sweetly, and Xie Lian's heart melts at the sound.

"It's for me? Gege, you shouldn't have – but please," he waves a hand, "do as you wish."

"Butterflies are your thing," Xie Lian murmurs, trying to stamp down the embarrassment he feels in his chest as he reaches up and tucks the pin in Hua Cheng's hair right beneath the silk ribbon that holds his bun in place. "There. It looks nice. Does San Lang want to see?"

Hua Cheng only shakes his head, looking terribly fond as he cups Xie Lian's cheek.

"I'll take gege's word for it," he tells him. Then, quieter, "Can I kiss you?"

Xie Lian laughs, eyes alight. "Since when do you ask?"

Hua Cheng grins and, saying nothing further, closes his eye and leans forward. Xie Lian pushes up on his toes, shutting his own eyes as he waits for the warm press of Hua Cheng's lips against his, only – they've been busy for most of the day, and the scent of meat from a neighboring food stall selling skewers wafts through the dingy little alley all of a sudden. Xie Lian's stomach growls obnoxiously the moment he smells it, and he wraps an arm around his abdomen and ducks his head, the almost-kiss quickly forgotten.

"Sorry," he laughs, ears burning, "I guess I'm a bit hungry."

He expects to hear Hua Cheng's easy, answering laugh followed by the suggestion that they get something to eat, but there is only silence. Frowning, Xie Lian takes his eyes off of his own shoes and peers up at his husband to see…oh, oh, a flushed face and a furrowed brow. Sweat teeming at his temples, and a hand pressed hard to his mouth. He seems like he's in pain, swaying on his feet, and Xie Lian panics, his heart thumping wildly in his chest as he looks him over.

"San Lang? What's wrong?" he asks, cupping Hua Cheng's face. He forces his head to the left, then the right, and Hua Cheng groans quietly, almost retching into his own palm. "You're still sick, aren't you?"

"I'm fine," Hua Cheng manages after a long moment, but his voice sounds frail, and Xie Lian's hands begin to tremble as his breathing quickens. "Gege, don't worry. It'll pass."

"What will pass?" Xie Lian huffs, and he knows he sounds wild, voice shaky and shrill, but he can't seem to calm himself long enough to gather his composure. "San Lang, tell me what's going on, please."

"I just – fuck," Hua Cheng lets his head fall forward, and Xie Lian is quick to cradle his cheek, dipping down to try and study his expression. "I'll be all right after I lie down for a bit. The sun is getting to me, that's all."

Though it's cooler today than it has been the entirety of Autumn thus far, the sun is particularly grueling, and Xie Lian is well aware of the fact that daylight can make most ghosts uncomfortable, but…would that really apply to a Supreme?

He fumbles through his sleeves for the extra pair of dice he always keeps on him, presses them into Hua Cheng's hand, and asks, "Can you get us back to Paradise Manor?"

Hua Cheng nods once, tosses the dice, and then the world goes topsy-turvy as they're brought right into their bedroom. It has been empty for a solid block of time now with the two of them off answering prayers, but it is as clean as it was the day they left. The staff most certainly tidied in their absence.

Xie Lian wastes no time pulling down the bed covers and ushering Hua Cheng over to lie down. He helps him take off his boots, gets him into his inner robes, and tucks the blankets up to his chin. Hua Cheng's expression evens out into something slightly more lax when he's settled into bed, but his pallor is still off and he seems to have broken out in a cold sweat, shivering as he clutches the sheets with a white-knuckle grip.

Xie Lian paces the span of the room, shucking a hand through his hair as he mutters to himself, "What do I do? Should I call for Yin Yu? Are there doctors residing in Ghost City? Think, think. Shit."

"Gege?" Comes Hua Cheng's voice. "What are you doing over there? Come lie down. This one is fine."

"You're not fine," Xie Lian hisses, immediately flinching at his own tone. What's wrong with him, snapping at Hua Cheng for being sick? He rushes to Hua Cheng's bedside, reaching out to twine their fingers together in silent repentance. Hua Cheng's palm is a little clammy, but Xie Lian clings to him all the same. "Do you want some water? You need to rehydrate and get some rest."

Hua Cheng shakes his head and presses a kiss to Xie Lian's knuckles.

"I'll be good as new if gege lets me hold him while we fall asleep together," he says.

Xie Lian clucks his tongue and huffs out a quiet, "Don't be cheeky," but he's already pulling back the blankets to curl up beneath them, snuggling into Hua Cheng's side. "Is this okay?"

"It's perfect," Hua Cheng tells him, kissing the crown of his head. He sounds a little sleepy, words sluggish when he adds, "I'm sorry for worrying you, Your Highness. I must have overexerted myself today without realizing."

And though Xie Lian isn't convinced that Hua Cheng is telling him the full extent of the truth, he can't very well bicker with him about it now. He merely hums, slinging an arm around his husband's waist, and listens with rapt attention for Hua Cheng's breathing to peter out until it stops altogether – something that tends to happen when he falls asleep. Only, it never comes, and after a long while of resting in near-silence, Xie Lian can't help but peek up at him to see how he's fairing.

Hua Cheng isn't sleeping, and he doesn't appear to be trying to. His eye, dark and glimmering as it catches the light of the lantern flickering from their bedside table, is trained firmly on Xie Lian's face, seemingly keen on drinking in details he's seen an unfathomable amount of times. With that silky hair tied up and out of the way save for some wily strands, Xie Lian can see the little crease between his brows, pinched as if he's worried about something. But his pallor is back to normal, the flush on his cheeks wiped clean, and so Xie Lian lets out a long, stuttering breath he hadn't realized he was holding, relief washing over him like cool water straight from the basin.

"Feeling better?" he asks as he reaches up to brush his thumb over the apple of Hua Cheng's cheek. It takes on color for an entirely different reason now, pinkening beneath his touch, and Xie Lian's chest rumbles with quiet laughter as he tacks on, "Pretty, even when you're feeling poorly. A feat only my San Lang could accomplish, I think."

If things were normal, Xie Lian wouldn't dare say something so bold aloud without any prompting, but having his husband held firm in his arms trying to recover from an illness Xie Lian isn't certain is just heatstroke has the very fabric of reality feeling upended. He yearns to be closer; to slot their legs together and kiss across the pale expanse of Hua Cheng's throat until his skin is mottled a charming shade of red and he is shaking apart against Xie Lian's chest. Anything to ground him, to make Xie Lian feel tethered to this – being alive, here with the one he loves most, wrapped up in their bed.

Hua Cheng looks at him for a long while, bottom lip pulled between his teeth, and then he casts his gaze off to the right and murmurs, "Actually…gege, I'm not feeling very well at all right now."

Startled, Xie Lian quickly pushes up in bed, leaning over Hua Cheng to study his face.

"What? Tell me what's wrong. I'll do everything I can to fix it, just – San Lang," the words fizzle out on his tongue, and he feels dangerously close to bursting into tears, but he knows that would only cause his husband distress, and so he wills back the stinging behind his eyes as he cups Hua Cheng's cool cheek and adds, "Is there someone I should call? Yin Yu, perhaps?"

"Ugh," Hua Cheng scrunches up his nose at the mention of the Waning Moon Officer. "No, I only meant that I'm not feeling well because I've been such a neglectful husband. We've been back home all this time and gege still hasn't eaten. You were practically starved in that alleyway at the market. I beg you to let me have a meal prepared for you."

Xie Lian's mouth pops open. That's what he's thinking about right now..?

"San Lang!" He lightly swats Hua Cheng's chest, and the latter laughs quietly, catching Xie Lian's hand to link their fingers together. "Don't play around. I'm…really worried about you."

Hua Cheng's face softens and he sits up, pulling Xie Lian into a tight hug with his chin propped against the top of his head.

"His Highness worries too much. This San Lang is just fine," he says.

Xie Lian frowns. He thinks he worries just the right amount, actually, and he's about to argue as much when Hua Cheng pulls back to look at him for a moment, then surges forward and kisses him hard on the mouth before he can so much as get a word out. How shameless! He really must stop spoiling this husband of his, who is only getting bolder with time.

As the kiss grows wetter, Xie Lian gasps, his eyes still open wide as he grapples with detaching himself from Hua Cheng versus leaning into him further. Hua Cheng makes the decision for him when he slots their lips together and deepens the kiss, but because Xie Lian knows his husband, and knows very well that this is a diversion tactic to keep Xie Lian from asking too many questions, he goes to pull away. He doesn't get far, as Hua Cheng snakes a strong arm around Xie Lian's waist and holds him firm, their chests pressed together. When that silver-tongue slides across Xie Lian's bottom lip and dips into his mouth to lick him open, there isn't much he can do but sigh quietly and melt into it.

"While I'm not convinced I'm deserving of gege's concern," Hua Cheng begins, the words whispered against Xie Lian's parted mouth, now slick with spit, "thank you for thinking of me. Truly."

Xie Lian takes in a big breath, ready to huff out an indignant, 'I know you're keeping something from me,' but Hua Cheng grabs him by the back of his neck and tugs him into another bruising kiss before the thought can even settle on his tongue.

"Ah, gege," he pants, seemingly unable to separate himself from Xie Lian as he kisses him over and over, sometimes long and slow and messy, sometimes chaste and borderline sweet. "Let's not talk about boring things anymore. This one wishes to take you apart."

Xie Lian would hardly call a sickly Supreme boring, but Hua Cheng's got deft hands that know the innermost workings of every set of robes Xie Lian has ever worn in front of him, and he makes quick work of undoing the belt at Xie Lian's waist and shucking his clothing off so that the fabric puddles around his waist before it's shoved to the floor. He blinks once, twice, and then he's bare save for the thin chain and crystalline ring around his neck, and Hua Cheng is lifting him up, hands beneath his thighs as he settles Xie Lian into his lap.

Xie Lian is hard. While that might have been a mortifying revelation not long ago in his life, it is something normal and expected now, so long as Hua Cheng is around. Xie Lian is warm all over, stomach broiling with desire as he is kissed within an inch of his life. By the time he moves to lie on his back, holding himself up on his elbows, the distance between them seems too wide, too unbearable to take. He's just about to reach out and undress Hua Cheng, too, when a barrage of butterflies swarm through the room, covering Hua Cheng like a dense, glimmering fog, and rid him of his robes then and there.

Xie Lian's mouth goes dry, and it's – he doesn't allow the embarrassment clawing at his throat to make him avert his gaze, but it is a close thing. Hua Cheng looks unreal. Backlit by the dim glow of a lantern on the windowsill behind him, his skin is orangey-pink, and Xie Lian's eyes eagerly drink in the strong, corded muscle in his arms, the hard ridges of his abdomen, the sparse trail of hair leading down to that flushed, half-hard cock. Whatever reservations he had built up in his reserves disintegrate as if set aflame, and he lets himself go lax against the bed as Hua Cheng settles between his spread legs.

He doesn't know who moves first or fastest, but they're kissing again, and it's hungry and desperate and sharp, stealing Xie Lian's breath away. Hua Cheng's mouth is soft, and wet, and he takes Xie Lian's bottom lip between his teeth and sucks on it until it stings, working a gasp out of his throat. His tongue tentatively brushes the seam of his mouth before slipping inside, curling against the backs of Xie Lian's teeth as if desperate to memorize his taste, and Xie Lian tries to match his fervent movements, to kiss back as intensely as he is being kissed, but he can hardly breathe like this. His lungs ache.

Hua Cheng reaches for Xie Lian's wrists and pins them to the mattress above his head, holding him down. He tests the pressure of it and realizes that he could break himself free if he so desired, but the thought is forgotten immediately as Hua Cheng lines their hips up, his hard cock pressed to Xie Lian's own. He doesn't rut down, doesn't make to do anything other than kiss him, but the weight of him and the cool press of his body against Xie Lian's, skin to skin, is dizzying. He tries to gather his scattered thoughts only to be kissed so thoroughly his mind is wiped completely blank, disrupting any capacity for rational thinking he might still be clinging to.

Hua Cheng's free hand skitters along Xie Lian's abdomen and up his chest until a thumb sweeps over his nipple. It doesn't linger at first, quickly brushing Xie Lian's collarbone, but it returns the moment Xie Lian whines and arches his back, chest pushing up in search of that shock-whip of pleasure. Hua Cheng gives him what he wants, has never not done so, and Xie Lian feels frayed to his edges as one of his nipples is pinched and teased between deft fingertips.

When he gasps, it comes out sounding wet, his strained voice giving away how absolutely pulled-apart he feels.

"San Lang," he pants, trying to escape the heady kisses that are being laid against his swollen, sensitive mouth, "please."

Hua Cheng stops his ministrations enough to pull back and press their foreheads together, his hot breath puffing against Xie Lian's cheek.

"Gege," he murmurs, so close Xie Lian can see nothing but his pretty, flushed face, "you're so beautiful. Can I," he pauses, pupil blown wide as his tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip, "can I do what I want with you?"

A shudder tears through Xie Lian, lighting his nerves on fire.

“Yes,” he answers. "Anything."

"Can I kiss you?" Hua Cheng asks, mouthing over the tender skin of Xie Lian's throat. "Like this?"

Xie Lian nods, stuttering out an exhale.

"Yes."

"And…can I touch you," Hua Cheng continues, the hand not trapping his wrists against the bed slipping between them to circle loosely around Xie Lian's cock, "here?"

Xie Lian gasps. "Anywhere, San Lang."

"How dangerous," Hua Cheng chuckles, dark and a little strained.

He strokes Xie Lian's leaking cock from root to tip, and then that touch is gone for a moment, leaving him hot and shaking apart, but its absence doesn't last long. It returns just as Xie Lian is building a complaint up on his tongue, pressing between his legs this time, fingertips slick with oil. Two of them nudge at his entrance, catching against his rim and ripping a moan from his throat, but Hua Cheng doesn't push them inside yet.

"And what about this, Your Highness?" he asks, stroking the pads of his fingers across that tight furl of muscle. "Will you let me stretch you open?"

Xie Lian nods, fast and fervent, trying to push into his touch. Hua Cheng only chuckles and keeps his fingertips where they are, brushing feather-soft over Xie Lian's entrance.

"Please," he begs, trying to tug his wrists free so that he can slide one of his hands into Hua Cheng's long, dark hair, cascading around them like an inky-black waterfall.

Hua Cheng lifts a brow and tightens his grip, and Xie Lian knows he could be done with this if he truly wanted to, knows he could flip Hua Cheng over and take the lead, but he likes feeling trapped beneath him. A rabbit caught in a snare, struggling to get free.

Hua Cheng's finger slips inside of him, long and slick, and the feeling is so good, so acutely what Xie Lian needs, that he feels overwhelmed by it. Upended, torn apart. He whimpers high in the back of his throat, wriggling to try and get more of that touch, and the first finger is followed by another, too quick for the stretch to be comfortable but so delicious that a broken groan escapes him before he can bite it back.

“There you go,” Hua Cheng says, the words tickling Xie Lian's ear. “That’s good, gege."

“Oh," Xie Lian's back curves, urging Hua Cheng's fingers in deeper. He's still so stilted in this, not ever exactly sure of what to do, but he lets his body react as it pleases, writhing and sighing as he is fed another finger and scissored open.

"Look at you,” Hua Cheng whispers, his lips brushing against Xie Lian's temple in a kiss. “So gorgeous, Your Highness. Here, here, let me."

And then, abruptly, the fingers are gone and Xie Lian's body is clenching around nothing, empty and aching to be filled as Hua Cheng settles between his legs.

“San-"

His voice dies in his throat when Hua Cheng releases his wrists to lift his thighs, settling them over his lap, and then Xie Lian's hips are angled up, up as the hard press of Hua Cheng’s cock nudges his entrance, and he's – he's squirming, he wants this so bad, and his heart rattles in his chest as he watches Hua Cheng fill him slowly.

Though it aches, building up in his body like a fever pitch, it feels so right. He takes in a deep breath, shuddering through the stretch, and can feel the beginning threads of pleasure unspool in his lower belly. Once he is bottomed out, hips pressed flush to Xie Lian's ass, Hua Cheng groans tightly above him, both hands digging into the meat of Xie Lian's thighs.

“Gege,” he pants, “Gege, you feel – fuck. Is this," his eye falls shut, a violent tremor tearing through him, "is this good? You feel so perfect.”

Hua Cheng shifts to fold himself over Xie Lian, the heat radiating off of his chest warming Xie Lian's skin. He's still trembling interspersedly, still gripping Xie Lian with shaking hands, and he's being so patient, waiting for Xie Lian to adjust to his size, but it's – there is tension building up and up, and Xie Lian needs to be rid of it.

He wrestles his leg free and wraps it around Hua Cheng's waist, the heel of his foot digging into Hua Cheng's lower back.

"San Lang," he croaks, voice brittle like broken glass, "move, please."

There is a shift–Hua Cheng leaning forward as he nods, strands of his long hair tickling Xie Lian's cheek–before the length inside of Xie Lian is pulled away, further still, and then given back to him in one firm, long stroke. It punches the breath out of him, makes him claw it his own chest, and Hua Cheng reaches out to twine their fingers together as he begins to move, deep and swift, as if he knows they are both far too impatient for anything slow.

"You – oh," Xie Lian clenches his eyes shut through a whine, his back forced into an arch as Hua Cheng loops an arm around his waist. It's better this way, deeper, and the head of Hua Cheng's cock nudges that little fire-lit spot inside of him each time, making it hard to speak through the moans forced up and out of his throat. "Ah, San Lang, it's so–yes, yes, don't stop–it's good. You're so good."

A full-body tremble shakes through Hua Cheng, and his hips seem to grind forward of their own accord. He speeds up, rutting into Xie Lian faster still, and there's suddenly too much space between them, too much infinity existing when they're like this. Xie Lian is desperate to touch him, needs it, and so he reaches up and wraps his arms around his neck, tugging Hua Cheng forward. Hua Cheng goes easily, though his cock slides out as he moves, and a helpless, frustrated noise tumbles past Xie Lian's lips before he can swallow it down.

“It’s all right, Your Highness,” Hua Cheng whispers, fingers trailing along his cheek. Xie Lian's shudders, fighting back the sudden urge to sob. “Let me take care of you. You need it, don't you?"

"Yes," Xie Lian says, "yes, San Lang – please, please."

Close enough that their chests are nearly touching now, Hua Cheng lines his cock up and presses in again, slower than before. Once he has filled Xie Lian to the brim, he moves; slowly, so, so, carefully, in and out, and when Xie Lian gasps and clenches around him, urging him on, his thrusts turn harder, faster, exquisitely pointed.

"Too much?" Hua Cheng asks as he shoves one of Xie Lian's legs up, knee almost pressed to his chest.

Xie Lian manages to shake his head, erratic and jerky, squeezing where their palms are clasped together.

“More?”

“Yes,” Xie Lian gasps, “anything, please.”

“Okay, okay, I – oh,” Hua Cheng groans, his hips snapping forward harder, and Xie Lian is shucked up the bed from the force of it. “Let me make you feel good, let me,” he pants, “let me, ah, let me take you apart. Gege, do you want it?"

Xie Lian shudders so hard his muscles nearly lock up, and he gasps out a ragged, "Yes, I want it, I want it, you – San Lang. Please, please just give it to me."

His face is positively flaming now, flushed from the tips of his ears to his chest, but it's so arbitrary, so irrelevant when Hua Cheng is fucking into him hard enough that the bedframe is shaking beneath them. He is so full he can almost feel it in his stomach, and he presses down on his abdomen, hard, like he might be able to feel the head of Hua Cheng's cock through his skin.

Above him, Hua Cheng pauses as he watches Xie Lian, eye round and wide, and then he's moaning loudly against Xie Lian's throat, thrusting into him again in long, deep strokes that have Xie Lian's thighs trembling where they're wrapped around Hua Cheng's waist. Xie Lian tries to call for him, tries to nod, to tell him that it's good, it's everything he wants, but each time he opens his mouth, the only things that come out are broken, unrefined whimpers, raw as freshly harvested jade.

"San Lang," he manages through a wet gasp, "harder, if you can. I need, just-"

He is cut off by his own trembling breath as Hua Cheng's length is taken away save for the tip stretching him open. He isn't even given the time to complain about feeling empty before he is fucked into again, harder than before, the snap of Hua Cheng's hips against his ass making his skin sting. And there's nothing, nothing to do but let his hands find their way to Hua Cheng's shoulders and dig into the strong muscle there as he's taken just as hard as he'd pleaded for, so swift it knocks the air from his lungs. He's babbling before he knows it, embarrassed enough to slap a hand over his mouth only for it to get wrenched away and pinned to the mattress by Hua Cheng's deft fingers.

"You – San Lang, it's, oh," he's shaking, damp eyes making his vision blurry, but he manages to focus enough to see Hua Cheng looming above him, as beautiful as he is fearsome, and the coil in his stomach winds tighter and tighter at the sight. "It's good, it's so good, don't stop. Please, I can't – ah, I'm-"

With a low, desperate sound, Hua Cheng ruts into him, holding him down, fucking him hard and fast and deep, so deep it steals Xie Lian's breath away. He tries to suck in air as his limbs are bent, held where Hua Cheng wants them, but there's not enough breath in his lungs and he's dizzy, spiraling so fast his vision goes spotty at the edges. The blunt tips of his fingernails dig into Hua Cheng's shoulders, leaving scratches down his back that will heal before Xie Lian can even blink, and they – they shift, suddenly, into creatures merely chasing pleasure. Hua Cheng's panting breath against Xie Lian's throat is almost erratic as he pins him to the mattress and fucks him so thoroughly the world seems to melt apart around them like hot, dribbling candle wax.

It doesn't last very long, but also, it seems to go on forever. Xie Lian so rarely comes untouched, but he knows it's going to happen the moment Hua Cheng begins driving into his prostate on every instroke. It builds, sets his belly on fire like lit kindling, and he's just barely able to get out a broken, "San Lang!" before he comes hard, staining his own abdomen and chest and then, abashedly, Hua Cheng's skin as he continues shoving into him. His orgasm dredges on, more of his seed worked out of him the harder Hua Cheng fucks him open, and by the time Hua Cheng shudders and comes as deep inside of him as he can manage, Xie Lian is nice and spent, body melting into the bed. Hua Cheng rolls his hips a couple more times, the sound wet and filthy, and then he lets himself collapse on top of Xie Lian's chest, and Xie Lian wraps his arms around his shoulders to hold him as they try and catch their breaths.

There's a brief gap of silence, then a little rumble of something against his neck before he hears Hua Cheng's quiet laughter fill the air. It gets louder, brighter, and inexplicably, Xie Lian feels his own laughter bubble up in his throat and spill past his lips, matching Hua Cheng's. They laugh softly as they hold each other, and Xie Lian feels it, then – this whole, full-to-bursting love blossoming in his chest. It's nice, and it's warm, and he knows that he will cling to it unfailingly with a white-knuckle grip if that's what it takes to keep it close.

Pressing kisses atop Xie Lian's head, down the side of his face, across his cheek, Hua Cheng murmurs, "I just sent for a meal. Stay awake a little while longer and I'll feed you, gege."

Xie Lian hums, "Mn, San Lang is so good to me."

"Gege," his face is taken between two cool hands, Hua Cheng's mouth ghosting over his forehead, "gege, these sorts of things are the least you deserve. Don't be silly. Aren't you the Crown Prince?"

"Ah," Xie Lian's cheeks burn, and he waves a hand, "that was a long time ago. What are you even saying? Just being cheeky…"

Hua Cheng chuckles. "Gege says that, but this one is always sincere. Do you think I'm teasing you?" He presses a hand to his chest in mock offense. "That truly hurts."

Xie Lian cracks open an eye long enough to peer up at his husband, all beautifully flushed cheeks and ruffled hair, and then turns to bury his face in a pillow. The tips of his ears burn.

"Hush. I'm going to sleep."

"You won't even stay awake long enough to have a meal with your San Lang? Oh, I'm wounded," Hua Cheng says, throwing an arm around Xie Lian's waist, snuggling against him to leech up his warmth.

"Can't you accept that you've thoroughly worn me out and leave it at that?" Xie Lian huffs. "You're such a menace, and only getting worse by the day. I've got to stop spoiling you."

Hua Cheng's soft laughter puffs against the shell of Xie Lian's ear.

"I hope you never stop," he whispers, fiercely earnest as his arm tightens around Xie Lian's hips. Then, quieter, as sweet-sounding as a lovebird's caw, "Goodnight, Your Highness."

And how could Xie Lian be anything but lulled to sleep by the pretty, low drawl of that familiar voice?

–

Deep in the recesses of his mind, where it is cold enough that he can see his own breath, Xie Lian shuffles across the top of a frozen lake on wobbly legs not unlike that of a newborn deer. He keeps glancing down to make sure that he doesn't trip over anything, but there is only the icy, reflective surface beneath his boots, and the long, billowing fabric of his robes flowing wildly as the wind ripples through them. The lake spans on forever, lined with green dots on all sides which must be trees, though Xie Lian can hardly see them, and as he tries to gather his bearings and decide which direction to head in, he spots a tiny, red blob walking toward him, too far off to make out the details, but by the way it moves–all long, lean elegance with a glinting weapon tucked at the waist–it can be nothing and no one besides Hua Cheng.

A grin breaks across his face, relief quickly washing over him, but when he opens his mouth to try and shout, "San Lang!" only for no sound to come out, he freezes, body locking up as he slips on the ice. He just narrowly catches himself before he falls.

When he steadies his legs again, standing upright, Hua Cheng is nowhere to be seen. Xie Lian's heart races. He clutches his chest in a panic, eyes wide, and spins around, searching for him. He skitters across the lake, tumbles and uses his palms to soften the impact, and it is only as he's climbing to his feet for the third time that he sees a dot of black break the ice's surface way off in the distance. He squints, feels his stomach drop, and watches with bated breath while Hua Cheng–hair and robes soaked and sticking to his skin–tries to grab hold of the ice and pull himself out of the frigid water he's fallen into.

Xie Lian stumbles, slips, gets the wind knocked out of him as he scrambles across the ice toward Hua Cheng, arms outstretched. He keeps trying to call for him, keeps trying to form Hua Cheng's name on his tongue, but his voice feels as if it has been locked away in his chest, and he can do nothing but let his tears fall as he crawls across the frozen lake, moving swiftly but getting nowhere, always out of reach. He watches helplessly as Hua Cheng surfaces for a brief moment before he goes under again, only this time, he does not come back up.

And it's so foolish; a stupid nightmare that Xie Lian knows he must wake up from as soon as possible because this can't be real, ghosts can't drown, but he's – he tears at his hair, rips the fabric of his robes and sobs and punches the ice that should crack and shatter beneath his strength but doesn't, and it's too much. This feeling, this sense of loss. His body wasn't meant to be able to shoulder it, and all he feels is this horrible, inexplicable frost blooming in his veins and freezing him over from the inside out.

Then there's a sharp gasp; Hua Cheng breaking the icy surface again, trying to breathe air into his lungs, or, no – it came from Xie Lian, from his own blundering mouth. He shoots upright in bed, the dream dissipating as he presses a clammy hand to his forehead. His chest is heaving, and he does a quick sweep of his surroundings, eyes still blurry with sleep but as alert as they've ever been.

He's in their bedroom in Paradise Manor. The room is dimly lit by several candles of various sizes lined up on the windowsill. Everything is quiet, the only sounds being his own ragged breathing and warm weather's last wave of crickets chirring from the gardens. Hua Cheng is not in bed. The blankets on his side are tossed back like he'd left in a hurry, and the door leading out to the veranda is wide open, letting the cold air in.

Xie Lian is up and sprinting outside before he can even register the feel of soft carpet beneath his feet. Autumn wind rushes through his parted robes, cools his chest, but he hardly notices the chill as he scans the courtyard–waves of moon-white flower petals enchanted to grow year-round, a glistening pond so well-kept that the fish occupying it weigh more than they should–and finally the veranda, where he is first relieved to see his husband's looming, red figure haunting the manor like a glowing spector, and then horrified as he realizes that Hua Cheng is bent over the railing, vomiting into the grass below.

He lets himself stand there, just…frozen in shock for a moment or two, and then he leaps into action, almost tripping over his own robes as he rushes to Hua Cheng's side. He gets a quiet groan and devastated little side-eye for his effort, but he ignores them in favor of gingerly brushing loose strands of Hua Cheng's hair from his face and keeping them out of the way.

He's moving on autopilot, heart pattering in his chest so fast it feels like it's grown wings and is trying to take fight, but he pushes through it: straightens his spine so that he's standing as naturally as possible, keeps his expression neutral (it's not working, he feels like he's breaking, splintering between the brows and in his smile lines), calls for Yin Yu through the spiritual communication array and orders him to find the best doctor in or around Ghost City as soon as possible, and even though his hands are shaking so fucking hard he can hardly keep Hua Cheng's hair back for him, it's the thought that counts. That's what he tells himself, that he's doing his best. He isn't letting himself listen to the nagging, ugly voice in his mind pointing out the fact that Hua Cheng has been ill for days, possibly longer, and Xie Lian should have prioritized this much sooner.

Moonlight sweeps over the veranda and cuts their bodies into long shadows that reach across the ground. Hua Cheng retches again, but nothing comes out this time. It sounds terribly painful. Xie Lian bites his bottom lip hard enough to taste blood and tries his very best not to weep.

"Gege," Hua Cheng murmurs, "gege, this one is sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

Xie Lian chokes out a bright, watery laugh, smoothing his free hand over Hua Cheng's back and trying to work some heat back into his skin. The robe he's wearing is even thinner than Xie Lian's, the material almost translucent.

"Why are you apologizing?" he asks, shaking his head. Pain tears through his chest, and he only manages to keep himself upright by leaning against the railing for support. "You're not feeling well, so just focus on getting better quickly, all right?"

Hua Cheng looks like he wishes to press the issue further, perhaps grovel and apologize a bit more, but his eye slams shut and his brows draw together before he gets the chance. A violent shudder racks through him, and he quickly leans over the veranda to gag again, fingers gripping the metal railing so tightly it warps beneath his touch.

"Ah! San Lang," Xie Lian brushes that dark hair back, bouncing on the toes of his feet anxiously. "Let it out. Good, just like that, that's – that's good."

Hua Cheng groans as the retching finally ceases, resting his forehead against the metal banister. He looks worn out, ghostly pale beneath the waning moonlight, and Xie Lian wastes no time sweeping him up into his arms, holding him close. He pets a hand down his hair, presses a kiss against the crown of his head, and it's – it's so stupid because Hua Cheng has to bend over for Xie Lian to even be able to reach, but he does it to comfort Xie Lian despite being the one in need of comfort. Something about it is so big, so bloated, that it weasels its way into Xie Lian's chest and grows and grows until there is no space for anything else left at all.

Yin Yu's voice slices clean through his mind just then, neutral and steady: "Your Highness, the physician is here. Shall I send her to your bedchamber?"

Xie Lian takes in a sharp breath, letting his eyes fall shut.

"In a moment," he replies, "I'll let you know when we're ready, thank you." Then, turning to Hua Cheng, he says, "Come on, let's get you back to bed. Yin Yu sent for a doctor. She's coming in now."

Hua Cheng's eye widens and he lurches backward, almost tripping over the tail of his own robes.

"No! Gege, she can have nothing to tell you that I don't already know," he rushes out. "Please, just…I need you to send her away. Your Highness, I'm begging you."

"Wha- I don't," Xie Lian huffs, tugs a hand through his tangled hair only for it to get stuck at the root, "I would have no need for her if you'd just talk to me," he says, reaching out to take Hua Cheng's hand between both of his own. "Is there, did, San Lang – is there a reason why you feel that you can't talk to me? Tell me what I did and I'll try to sort it out right away."

"No, no, never," Hua Cheng swallows thickly, "never you, it's never you. I didn't, couldn't, say it. I couldn't say it. I still can't because you might hate me and what," a shudder shakes through him, "what would I do, then? I wouldn't be able to take it if you suddenly hated me, gege."

"Oh, what – no, no, come here, silly," Xie Lian closes the gap between them, taking Hua Cheng's face between his hands. "What are you talking about? My San Lang. I could never hate you. Never, do you understand me?"

"You say that now," Hua Cheng whispers, "but gege, you-"

"Made a promise to spend the rest of my life loving you unconditionally," Xie Lian cuts in, pressing a firm kiss to his twisted mouth. "I am far too brave to be scared away by anything now."

"I know," Hua Cheng says, quickly. "I know. His Highness is bound to find out eventually, and some things must be said. Still, it isn't an easy topic to breach. Should – ah, let's go inside and sit down. It's a little too cold out here for you, gege."

"Mn," Xie Lian hums and allows Hua Cheng to twine their fingers together as he leads them back inside. The room is chilly, but Hua Cheng merely waves a hand and slams the door shut, and the hearth roars brighter.

Once they're settled on the edge of the bed, sitting so closely their thighs press together, Xie Lian clears his throat, squeezes Hua Cheng's hand, tries not to tap his foot against the floor. He does a quick sweep of the room with fresh eyes and sees this; a pulled-apart bookshelf. This; a desk in disarray, ink spilled across the surface, crumpled talismans on the floor marked with different characters that Xie Lian can't decipher. And this; scrolls half-unraveled, circled with red paint. Scrolls that Xie Lian doesn't recognize and, horrifyingly, scrolls that he does. The ones he borrowed from Ling Wen all that time ago detailing the workings of child-bearing pills on ghosts.

When he chances a glance at Hua Cheng, he sees him shifting restlessly, bouncing one of his legs as his free hand bunches up in his robes just over his stomach. Slowly, the way the sun crests the horizon each day, a revelation washes over Xie Lian in brilliant, golden light.

Oh. Oh, how – how ridiculous that it took him so long. He huffs out a breath through his nose, then another, and his mouth pops open just in time for wild, high-pitched laughter to burst through, unmarred. It all clicks into place. The pallor, sometimes pale-white and haunting, sometimes dewy and flushed, always changing. The overexertion, the exhaustion, the fevers. The revulsion at the smell of certain foods, the nausea, the little secrets and the sneaking away because this is not an easy thing to say, and if it were Xie Lian, he'd probably go to great lengths to hide it as well.

"You – okay," he swallows, feels the words get stuck and cauterized in his throat, and clutches Hua Cheng's hand to keep himself tethered. "Go on, San Lang. You can say it."

He sees it, then, the realization that Hua Cheng knows that he knows, and time is suspended for a moment, for them. He knows what's going to be said, and it's okay. He steels his shoulders, takes in a big breath, and waits – because there is not a single conceivable thing that could ever drive him away, least of all the prospect of starting a family with the one he so loves most.

"Right," Hua Cheng sucks in a deep breath he does not need, a rueful little smile on his face. "Your Highness, let me begin by saying that this is my fault, truly – you mustn't blame yourself. I was uninformed about the child-bearing pills, and I should've done my research beforehand, but I…well. This falls on me, all right?"

"What kind of husband would I be," Xie Lian sighs, "letting you bear the responsibility all alone? Didn't I bring up the pills in the first place?"

"Ah," Hua Cheng clicks his tongue, ducks his head, and some of that dark hair covers his damp eye. "I suppose it doesn't matter now. Anyhow, I should have told His Highness much sooner, but I only had my suspicions. It wasn't until tonight when I was tampering with some talismans that I got confirmation. It's – I can go," he whispers, his hand trembling as he clings to Xie Lian's like a lifeline. "I can leave. If you wish to be rid of me, you need only say so. Your happiness and well-being are the only things that matter to me, and I can keep watch from afar. You would never have to see me again if that is what you desired."

Xie Lian's eyes well with tears, and his heart lurches in his chest as if it has thrown itself against his ribcage, eager to make a quick escape. What is he talking about, leaving? That's not right, that isn't – Hua Cheng's absence would be the sort of catalyst that cast Xie Lian's world into chaos, not a solution. Unless…he doesn't want a child and this is his way of saying so. It could be possible, though Xie Lian hadn't initially given it much thought, in which case Xie Lian must make it known that he'd choose Hua Cheng over anyone and anything, always.

Carefully, he reaches out to brush a loose strand of Hua Cheng's hair behind his ear, fingers lingering there longer than necessary.

"A world without San Lang in it, to me, would be the most bleak and desolate place imaginable," he tells him, trying not to let his own tears choke him off. He knows, he knows, certain things must be said clearly. "What use would it be to exist without the one person who has seen me through all of my suffering? If I am allowed," Xie Lian continues, "I would like to see you through yours as well."

"I – suffering?" Hua Cheng's eye goes a little wide, and he splays a large hand over his stomach, fingers tightening in his crimson robes. "What suffering? To give you an heir is an honor that I could never, not in a million lifetimes, be worthy of. But," his voice drops, "I think I would like to try. I know even just saying so is selfish of me."

"No," Xie Lian says firmly, cradling Hua Cheng's face between his hands like he might up and dissipate should one not keep a close watch, gone with the wind blowing rampant outside the manor, "it isn't selfish. Have I..? San Lang, did I do something to make you think that way?"

Hua Cheng is quick to shake his head, his dark eye reflecting the harrowing glow of the lantern on their bedside table.

"No, Your Highness."

"Then I," Xie Lian's throat feels dry, his tongue too big for his mouth, and he's crying–he thinks he's crying–these great, shuddering breaths tearing from his lungs before he can stop them. "Then I don't understand. What's all this talk of leaving? I only exist where you are, San Lang. How could I ever want you anywhere besides right next to me?"

"Even like," Hua Cheng pauses, waving a hand at his abdomen, "even like this?"

"Any way," Xie Lian tells him, holding his face a little tighter, pulling him a little closer. "Every way. If this is what you want to do, I'll support you, and I'll be so happy about it. Really, I – well, I'm not sure being a parent is something I can do well, and I'm afraid. But, San Lang," he swipes his thumb beneath Hua Cheng's bottom lashes, brushing away the tears that have gathered there, "the way I feel for you outweighs all else. Every bout of fear, every inkling of doubt; none of those things compare to how much I love you. Do you believe me?"

"Yes," Hua Cheng whispers, "I think so."

Xie Lian sniffles, trying for a warm smile, though he is sure it comes out frenzied.

"Good. Now, let me call the doctor in to examine you, since she was so kind to come by on short notice," he says, gaze sweeping over Hua Cheng's chest, down to his stomach, before flicking back up to meet his eye. "Is that all right?"

Hua Cheng relaxes against the pillows, nodding despite his clear reservations.

"Perfect. How lucky I am to know you," Xie Lian tells him, leaning down to brush a sweeping kiss across his forehead. Then, pressing two fingers to his temple: "Yin Yu? You can send the doctor in."

"Right away, Your Highness," is the swift reply he receives, and not a moment later, their bedroom door is being pushed open as a woman steps inside, dressed rather gaudy for a mortal but just right for someone living in Ghost City, which she must.

"Hua Chengzhu," she politely bows her head, "And…you must be the 'His Highness' Waning Moon Officer was referring to. The ghosts talk about you often, but I've never seen you before. It's a pleasure."

Xie Lian shuffles where he stands by Hua Cheng's bedside, offering up his best, friendly smile, but it doesn't come through as naturally as he'd like.

"Hello. What should we call you?" he asks.

"Ah, my identity has been wrapped up in my work for so long now that all the residents here just refer to me as 'The Doctor,' or 'Doc.' Call me whatever you'd like. May I..?" She gestures at her medical bag, then at Hua Cheng.

Xie Lian chances a glance at his husband, who – oh, yes, that seems about right. Hua Cheng is propped up against the headboard, arms crossed over his chest, and the expression on his face is stony, radiating murderous energy. He eyes the doctor warily, like he's already convinced himself that she has no idea what she's doing. Xie Lian sighs.

"San Lang," he begins slowly, "what's with that face? Come on, be good," he reaches out to gently pat his husband's cheek, "let her look you over. Though," he turns back to the doctor, "we already know why he's feeling poorly."

Her brows lift. "Oh?"

"He's, ah," Xie Lian's face goes hot, ears burning, and he waves a hand with little grace or reverie. "He's with child."

If the doctor is surprised by this, she does not let it show on her face or in her mannerisms as she nods carefully.

"All right," she says. "Well, I can give you confirmation of that and make sure that the pregnancy isn't causing any abnormalities. How does that sound?"

"Unnecessary," Hua Cheng snaps. "I feel fine."

He then turns to Xie Lian, not bothering to lower his voice at all as he huffs, "Gege, what is she even here for? Send her away. If you want to know anything about our child, I'll tell you."

"San Lang, I'm worried about how you're faring," Xie Lian tells him. "And besides, you're not a doctor. She is. Please, let her look you over. I'll feel much better if we can confirm that your symptoms truly are from the, ah…pregnancy and nothing else."

Hua Cheng visibly deflates, shoulders drooping, but he grumbles out a quiet, "Okay."

Taking her cue, the doctor slowly approaches, setting her medical bag down on the bed. She swiftly tugs out a couple of talismans, waves a hand and marks them with characters too small for Xie Lian to read, and holds one of them up in front of Hua Cheng for him to study with that narrowed, piercing gaze of his.

"This one will just confirm whether you're really pregnant or not," she explains. "Can you part your robes? It needs to be pressed to your stomach."

Hua Cheng looks as if he might snark out some unpleasant comment at this, too, but he takes one peek at Xie Lian, practically vibrating with nerves from his place beside their canopy bed, and promptly snaps his mouth shut. His hands swiftly untie his robe, and he shucks it open enough so that his chest and stomach are revealed to the cool air of the bedroom.

The doctor meets his gaze again, and she must feel safe enough to begin her examination because she does just that, reaching forward to gently press that talisman against Hua Cheng's abdomen. It sticks there, covering his bellybutton, then wavers like it's been caught in a gust of wind before it settles. Though the markings on it never change and no new ones appear, its color goes from off-white to bright, auspicious red.

"Well?" Xie Lian presses eagerly. "What does that mean?"

"Pregnant," she confirms, which is – right, yes, they knew that already, but proof of it still knocks the wind out of Xie Lian. "Though, forgive me, I'm not sure how. I've seen a lot of things in my day, but never this."

"Child-bearing pills," Xie Lian manages, smiling weakly.

"Ah," the doctor nods. "I'm afraid I don't know much about them, but I have heard of their potency in old stories."

Xie Lian's not listening to her anymore which is rude, he knows, but there's – he turns to Hua Cheng, settling next to him on the bed, and quickly peels away the talisman on his stomach so that he can see the skin underneath. It is flawless, milky white and unblemished, and Xie Lian almost brushes his fingers over it before he remembers himself and wrenches his hand away.

"His Highness may touch if he likes," Hua Cheng says. Then, quieter, with the kind of great hesitance Xie Lian has only ever seen from him once before in that Cave of Ten Thousand Gods where mincing their words simply wasn't allowed, he asks, "Is Your Highness pleased with this outcome?"

Yes, Xie Lian nearly says. Or…no. His mind seems to scramble itself, and he takes in a shuddering breath. Whatever he says next must be thought through carefully.

"I'm happiest with my husband by my side," he begins after a long, drawn out bout of silence, taking one of Hua Cheng's hands in his own. "Everything else is arbitrary. Is this, I mean – are you pleased? San Lang's opinion is the only one that matters here. If you wish to be done with this tonight, say the word and we'll figure out a way to make it happen safely. Right?"

He glances up at the doctor. She is quick to nod.

"If My Lord does not wish to carry to term, I can draw up some medicines that will terminate the pregnancy."

Xie Lian squeezes Hua Cheng's hand and says, "See, there are options. What does San Lang think? We'll do whatever you want, and I swear I'll be pleased no matter the end result so long as you allow me to remain next to you. All right?"

"Allow you?" Hua Cheng repeats, eye wide and wild-looking. "Your Highness, it is I who should be asking to remain by your side. I've made such a mess of things," he says, voice low, "and I'm not sure how to fix it."

"What are you talking about? Just blaming yourself again for no reason," Xie Lian huffs. "San Lang, think about how you feel for a moment. If you're frightened, if you don't want this, we can go back to the way things were before. We have that option."

"I know," Hua Cheng murmurs.

"But," Xie Lian swallows past the tightness in his throat, "if you don't want to do that, if you…if you want to continue forward and add a new addition to our family, then, well – I only want what you want. I'll be so happy either way. I need you to know that."

"How could I ever wish to be rid of a piece of you, gege?" Hua Cheng asks, tears making his dark eye glimmer beneath the flickering candlelight. "I'd give you everything, if I could. A child is-"

"A big responsibility," Xie Lian reminds him. "Something to care for, and to love."

"Yes," Hua Cheng nods firmly, "and it will be easy, doing so. I have never found it difficult to love you, Your Highness."

Xie Lian feels the breath get sapped from his lungs the same way thread unravels; slowly, first, until it is a tangled knot and there is nothing left on the spool but fingerprints – the only proof that someone was there to begin with.

Clearing his throat, he turns to look at the doctor, flashing her a small, wobbly smile.

"Uh, so," Xie Lian begins, "can you do a quick check-up to make sure everything is as it should be?"

The doctor nods, hurrying to pull some tiny tools from her bag. Xie Lian moves aside to let her work but he keeps a hand on Hua Cheng's shoulder all the while. She is swift, clearly knows what she's doing, and a couple of talismans and a clean bill of health later, she's packing up her things and talking with Xie Lian quietly, already halfway out the door.

"From what I know, he's fine. The nausea should stop soon. Still, he'll need to be monitored carefully. I don't know how he'll fare the further along he gets. You know I'll have to come back, don't you?" she whispers.

He nods. "Yes, of course. Come back as often as you need to. If you – I don't know what he needs. I feel a little bit lost, honestly," he laughs, stilted, and drags a hand through his messy hair. "Just do what you think is best."

"Will Chengzhu be okay with that, though?" she stresses.

"He – yes," Xie Lian waves a hand. "Your Chengzhu will behave. Don't worry. Reach out to Yi- ah, Waning Moon Officer when it's time for his next check-up. You've been a great help."

The doctor smiles, the corners of her weathered eyes crinkling, and Xie Lian quickly presses a heavy pouch of coins into the palm of her hand, ushering her out the door before she can object. Once it's shut tight, he creeps back into the bedroom, peering around the canopy at his husband.

"Gege," he calls, instincts still immaculate even with his eye shut, "what are you sneaking around for? Come over here."

"Ah," Xie Lian laughs sheepishly, "San Lang, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine of course, but gege – aren't you hungry? Let me send for a meal."

"Don't trouble yourself," Xie Lian sighs, settling down on the edge of the bed, "I don't have much of an appetite right now."

Hua Cheng stiffens. "Are you…upset?"

"What?" Xie Lian blinks. "Of course not."

"So," Hua Cheng fiddles with the tail-end of his braid, pinching the little red pearl between his fingertips, "you're content, then?"

Xie Lian laughs. "Content? Try perfectly, incomparably happy. I could not be anything else. San Lang–" he gets up on his knees and presses them into the mattress so that he can loom over Hua Cheng, leaving kisses all over his forehead, his hair, the slightly displaced band of his eyepatch, wherever he can reach, "–we're going to have a child together. Isn't that exciting?"

Slowly, one of Hua Cheng's hands comes up to settle on Xie Lian's hip.

"You're not scared anymore?" he asks.

"Oh! I'm terrified," Xie Lian says, fraught laughter spilling past his lips. "After all, shaping someone's life is serious business. But being afraid is silly when you're here with me, and I know that."

Xie Lian throws a leg over Hua Cheng's thighs, bracketing him in and settling in his lap. His hands slide into Hua Cheng's tangled hair, and he silently begins to work out the knots with his fingers.

"I think all the nervousness will dissipate in time," he murmurs. "For now, there are a few things I'm certain of."

Hua Cheng peers up at him through the fan of his lashes, a question in his dark eye.

"First, my love for San Lang is depthless and unshakable, and I would have no one else but him by my side forever," Xie Lian says, "and second, our child will be the most lovely creature in all of the Three Realms. Don't you agree?"

A smile works its way to Hua Cheng's petal-pink mouth, and Xie Lian feels his chest bloom with warmth like the last vestiges of spring as he is tugged close until there is hardly any space between their bodies left.

Gaze softened by the lantern light, Hua Cheng says, "If they turn out anything like you, Your Highness, they will truly be peerless indeed."

–

Xie Lian isn't much good at research, but in the coming days he finds out the following:

The scrolls given to him by Ling Wen were, as he began suspecting after Hua Cheng's pregnancy confirmation, doctored some years back. They no longer contain accurate information and therefore should not be relied upon for medical advice. While he wishes he'd known that sooner, he cannot seem to pin Ling Wen with any intentional criminality, and is forced to let it go. She apologizes extensively when Xie Lian goes to the heavens to confront her, and though her act is convincing, he's not sure that he believes it.

He also discovers that ghosts can, in fact, conceive children. If Hua Cheng weren't already proof of that, the book Yin Yu finds for them has records of it spanning back hundreds of years. In each case, a medication or curse was always used before conception, and he concludes that while pregnancy is possible for ghosts, it is not necessarily natural. Paradise Manor's expansive floor-to-ceiling library details other such workings related to pregnancy, such as birth via a medical procedure that is far too complicated for Xie Lian to immediately understand, and what expected recovery is like. Though Hua Cheng has no information regarding child-bearing pills, Xie Lian finds it interesting that he does have many books and scrolls about parenting. It's a little bit sweet.

They exist in a bubble of their own for a while, cut off from most of the world as they consume thousands of pages of knowledge. When Xie Lian is certain he has memorized all there is to know about the workings of child-bearing pills and male pregnancy (and is confident that Hua Cheng, somehow, knows even more), they begin making preparations. The big, daunting tasks must come first.

Paradise Manor is set for an upgrade that the residents of Ghost City quickly start construction on. Another room is being added, not too far off from Hua Cheng and Xie Lian's own bedchambers; a nursery, though the ghosts don't know that, yet. Yin Yu is given slightly more power when Xie Lian suggests Hua Cheng unload some of the simpler–but no less important–tasks onto him. He handles it with grace but he doesn't seem to want it, and though neither he nor Hua Cheng reveal the pregnancy, Xie Lian suspects Yin Yu has already figured it out on his own.

The final task left to be completed is one Xie Lian has been shoving to the back of his mind whenever possible. Arguably the worst, most horrifying task imaginable for a situation like this, and one he is probably going to sustain real, physical injury from: delivering the news to generals Xuan Zhen and Nan Yang. He's not certain that Ling Wen hasn't told them (and, okay, maybe he still doesn't trust her that much, but can he truly be blamed?). However, they're his closest friends outside of Hua Cheng, and it's only right that he tells them to their faces. Hua Cheng had said he didn't feel telling them was necessary at all, and well – Xie Lian had only looked at him and gently swatted the back of his head. Perhaps they'd get along one day.

They're at Puqi Shrine. Xie Lian hasn't been here in some time, but it's just as resplendent as he remembers, and the familiarity of it is comforting as well. Last he visited, they had a feast with Shi Qingxuan and friends. This time is similar; food is being served–catered, not made by Xie Lian–and Shi Qingxuan sits across from him. Only, it's different because Feng Xin is here, too, and Mu Qing, and they all look a little bit suspicious as their gazes flitter from Hua Cheng, to Xie Lian, back to Hua Cheng again. Xie Lian chatters nervously ("Oh! Tea, let me get some tea. Don't worry, I didn't make it. San Lang, are you too cold? Do you want some tea? Let me – ah, I dropped the teapot again. Well, okay. No tea! Sorry about that), and after bumbling around like a fool for a while, he sits deathly still as a dense quiet falls over the shrine.

"The last time you called us together like this, it was to announce that you'd gotten married," Mu Qing huffs, rolling his eyes so hard Xie Lian seriously worries they'll get stuck that way. "So, what is it this time?"

"Is Your Highness well?" Shi Qingxuan asks, smiling softly.

"Oh, yes! I'm fine. It's nothing bad, I promise!" Xie Lian rushes out, waving his hands. "We do have some news, but, well – I'm not quite sure how to say it. Forgive me, San Lang," he looks at his husband, "I should have come more prepared."

"Gege, don't be nervous," Hua Cheng murmurs, offering him a small smile. "Shall I tell them?"

Xie Lian presses a hand to his forehead. "No, I'd better do it."

Leaning toward them, eyes sparkling, Shi Qingxuan says, "I really want to know! You're keeping us in suspense."

"All right," Xie Lian clears his throat, forcing himself to sit up a little straighter. It's now or never, he supposes, and it's not going to get any easier. "San Lang and I are having a child," he says, slow, proud that his voice doesn't waver. "That's…That's it, I suppose."

Silence. Three sets of eyes stare at Xie Lian, all wide with shock. Feng Xin's mouth has fallen open, and Shi Qingxuan looks cloud-wisp pale. No one says anything, no one even blinks, and then – a stool goes flying across the room, and Mu Qing shoots up to his feet, horror written all over his pretty, pinched face.

"'That's it,'" he huffs, voice echoing through the shrine, "that's all you have to say? You're having a ghost king's child, and the only thing you can say is 'that's it.' Unbelievable!"

Hua Cheng glares at him. "Sit down."

"Like hell I will!" Mu Qing shouts. He turns to Xie Lian. "Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"Don't talk to him that way," Feng Xin snaps just as Hua Cheng is reaching for Eming. Xie Lian grabs his wrist, shoots him a pleading look, and misses Feng Xin grabbing Mu Qing by the front of his robes. "What's yelling at him going to do?"

"Well, he's – maybe I can talk some sense into his thick skull," says Mu Qing, shoving Feng Xin away before turning to Xie Lian once more. "Your Highness, I implore you to give this decision some more thought."

Xie Lian's hands clench into fists atop his knees, trembling so hard he has to hold onto the fabric of his robes to steady himself.

"The decision has already been made, and I have no intention of changing my mind. If you – I'm not expecting you to be happy for me. But," Xie Lian's voice breaks, and he takes in a shaky breath, "a little support would be nice. We're supposed to be friends, aren't we?"

"We are friends," Feng Xin says after a long while, "Your Highness, you…well. I don't know. Are you happy?"

"Very much so, yes," Xie Lian answers.

"And this is what you want?" Feng Xin asks. "To have a child with one of the Four Great Calamities?"

"Well, he is my husband," Xie Lian says slowly. "Who else would I have a child with?"

"No one! What's all this talk of having children? Since when can you even take care of yourself?" Mu Qing hisses. "And what if it's dangerous? Who knows what the offspring of a Supreme could do while it's growing in your body. It might kill you!"

Xie Lian's mouth snaps shut, and he feels his face grow warm, heat creeping down his neck and up to the tips of his ears. Mu Qing notices this and settles. He and Feng Xin stare at him, eyes narrowing.

"What's with that face?" Mu Qing asks.

"Ah," Xie Lian slaps his palms over his cheeks, trying to cover the blush, but it's too late. He knows they've all seen it. "Actually, you don't need to worry about my physical well-being," he says, quiet, "San Lang is carrying our child."

The next wave of total silence is even more harrowing than the last, and Xie Lian almost collapses across the table and dies of embarrassment then and there.

"He's…" Feng Xin's eyes drag over to Hua Cheng, but they don't linger. "Him?"

"Yes," Xie Lian nods.

"You…" Mu Qing looks mortified, "to him..?"

"Something wrong with that?" asks Hua Cheng, brow quirked.

"I'm in a fucking nightmare right now," Mu Qing murmurs to himself in lieu of answering the question, head in his hands and knuckles tugging at his own hair.

Shi Qingxuan says nothing, but stares at Hua Cheng's stomach for an abnormally long time like a bump might begin swelling before his very eyes, and it's – well, it could be worse, Xie Lian thinks. No one's thrown any punches, yet.

"You don't need to hover," Xie Lian tells them. "I have no intention of keeping you hostage. I only wanted to tell you the news because you're my friends, and it felt like the right thing to do. If you plan to try and talk me out of it, I'd rather you just leave now. I don't-" his eyes begin to sting, and he scrunches up his nose, chuckling weakly. "Sorry. I'm not sure how I expected this to go."

A hand reaches out to gently pat Xie Lian's, smaller than Hua Cheng's, and he looks up from his lap to find Shi Qingxuan smiling at him, soft as newly-bloomed flower petals.

"Your Highness, I'm happy for you. I only ask that you visit me more often so that I can be involved in the little duckling's life," Shi Qingxuan says. "Next time we see each other, I'll have a gift prepared for both parents and child."

"Oh," Xie Lian suddenly finds it very hard to swallow, his throat tight, and Shi Qingxuan only continues to pat the top of his hand sweetly – perhaps a bit rougher than necessary; too overexcited.

"Don't worry about gifts," Xie Lian says. "Your company is enough. I…" he looks at Shi Qingxuan, and that smile never wavers. It contains the same kind of sincerity that Xie Lian has only ever seen in Hua Cheng before.

"Thank you," he murmurs. "I'm not sure what to say."

"Of course," Shi Qingxuan grins, squeezing his hand one last time before retracting the touch altogether, "what are friends for, right?"

Xie Lian laughs, surprised it comes out wet. Choked.

"Right," he nods.

Mu Qing is still muttering to himself, staring at the glistening floor of the shrine, and Feng Xin keeps pacing, stopping to side-eye Hua Cheng's stomach suspiciously, and then pacing some more. Shi Qingxuan clears his throat and begins stuffing some more food onto the tray that Xie Lian has barely touched, too anxious to have much of an appetite.

"Your Highness, you must eat," he says, pushing the food toward Xie Lian, "you need your strength. Making sure you stay healthy is the priority."

"Why me?" Xie Lian grumbles, poking at some marinated vegetables with his chopsticks. "I'm not the one carrying."

"Ah, true," Shi Qingxuan draws out slowly, nodding. He glances at Hua Cheng, reservations clear on his handsome face, and then tentatively begins placing some tender meat onto Hua Cheng's tray as well. "Eat up, eat up."

Hua Cheng lifts a brow, and Shi Qingxuan works very hard not to look him in the eye.

"This is ridiculous," Mu Qing finally announces, once again rising to his feet. With his arms crossed, he states, "I'm leaving."

"Oh." Xie Lian's face falls.

"Are you serious?" Feng Xin grabs Mu Qing by his clothes, hand bunched up in the fabric just over his chest. "The first to leave, as usual. I don't know what else I expected from you. Some friend you are."

"What the hell do you know?" Mu Qing seethes, smacking his hand away. "Am I supposed to pretend to be overjoyed?"

"Go, then," Hua Cheng says, the low drawl of his voice, sharp as it echoes throughout the shrine, quieting everyone down for a moment. "I'd rather you not be here, anyway."

Xie Lian sighs. "San Lang…"

"Fine," Mu Qing says, haughty. "I'm gone," and just like that, he is. Xie Lian watches his retreating back until it disappears behind a column and vanishes from sight altogether.

A fat fly lands on his tray of food, crawling around atop a slice of meat before it buzzes off. Xie Lian stares at where it had been, his eyes stinging, and folds his hands in his lap. He wants to go back to Paradise Manor and lock himself away in the newly-stocked armory until his palms are bleeding from all his sword-wielding. He wants to travel back in time and sit between the lush cherry trees on Mount Taicang until the sun disappears and the sky goes black. He wants many things, all of a sudden, and he feels selfish. Perhaps starting over, perhaps wanting another family, is selfish.

"Your Highness," Feng Xin says, pulling Xie Lian from his thoughts. "Do you have everything you need?"

Xie Lian frowns, confused. "Uh, yes? I think so?"

"Good," Feng Xin reaches out, squeezes Xie Lian's shoulder through his robes. "You know where to find me if that changes. I'll come and visit you soon, all right?"

Feng Xin's trying for a smile, it seems, but his face is twisted, and Xie Lian can only nod.

"All right," he whispers, and watches him leave as well.

Shi Qingxuan mutters a quiet, "Ah," as he's left alone, gaze flickering between Xie Lian and his own tray of food–never Hua Cheng–and it's-

Something about it makes Xie Lian nauseous, makes him fight back a gag. Hua Cheng presses a hand to his back, touch tentative, and there's a question in it: Gege, are you okay? How silly. He isn't. Can't anyone tell?

He stands, arms stiff at his sides, and nods his head toward Shi Qingxuan.

"Excuse me," he says, stilted, "I'll be sure to visit you again soon. Thank you for coming."

And then he's using the entirety of the spiritual energy Hua Cheng had given him the night before to draw an array and disappear through it, nearly tripping into the armory at Paradise Manor. He didn't – he'd meant to go somewhere no one would look for him, but Hua Cheng appears in front of him, bent at the knee to look Xie Lian in the eye because he'd – oh, he'd fallen to the floor at some point.

"Your Highness?"

No response.

"Your Highness, can you look at me?"

Xie Lian tries to, but the overhead lantern is a bit bright and Hua Cheng is backlit by a resplendent golden-red.

"I'm sorry," he says, voice hoarse. Stop it. Stop it right now, he thinks to himself. "San Lang, just give me a moment. I'm okay. Sorry about this."

"Why are you apologizing?" Hua Cheng asks, sounding incredulous, almost breathless, and reaches out to take one of Xie Lian's hands in both of his. "You haven't done anything wrong, gege. Come on, breathe with me for a little while."

He squeezes Xie Lian's hands, grounding him to the moment, and Xie Lian shuts his eyes to focus on lining up their breaths. The armory smells of metal and powder, and it is still–almost eerily quiet–as they kneel between a shelf of glistening sabers and a rack of imposing longswords. After a while, Xie Lian's frantic heart settles, the rhythm evening out, and he opens his eyes to find Hua Cheng already watching him.

"For some reason," Xie Lian begins, relieved when his voice comes out surprisingly steady, "I thought they'd be happy for me."

Hua Cheng only kisses his knuckles and murmurs a pitiful little, "gege," against his skin.

They sit there for a while. Xie Lian's legs grow numb, the floor cold beneath his body which has been sapped of all its warmth. When he shivers, Hua Cheng stands, tugs him to his feet, and guides him to their bedroom.

There, the fire is blazing, and the room is warm and glowing amber from the candlelight. Xie Lian begins untying the ribbon from his hair, feeling a bit silly as long strands spool over his shoulders and down his back. He settles at the vanity, stares in the mirror, and Hua Cheng sidles up behind him to brush his hair for him. Neither of them speak, and Xie Lian is glad for it. For once, he doesn't seem to know what to say.

In bed, Hua Cheng pulls Xie Lian flush against him and throws an arm over his waist, holding him tight. Xie Lian settles into the space like it was made for him, and feels his eyes grow heavy as Hua Cheng nudges the tip of his cool nose to the back of Xie Lian's ear. Their legs tangle beneath the blankets. It is cold outside, uncomfortably so, but Xie Lian is safe from the chill wrapped up in this bed.

Suddenly, the bad is – well, it's not so crushing anymore, not so heavy. He closes his eyes and thinks about the way these blankets smell–flowery and sweet, heady from their nights together–and of the way Hua Cheng holds him, with the kind of careful determination that one in a million are born with. He thinks of the way their bedroom is never too cold, but never too warm, and of the way the lush carpet feels beneath his feet when he trods to the veranda barefoot to watch the sun rise.

The things he has lost are significant and will always remain so. His home kingdom, his childhood, his parents. His innocence, at some point, around the birth of Ruoye, and his faith in humanity even before that. But the things he has gained, oh – can they even be compared? It feels unfair to do so. He'd loved Xianle, had loved his family, but Hua Cheng had been part of that past, and is part of the now; had been there every harrowing, bleeding, bruising, horrifying step, and is still here, lying beside him, holding Xie Lian in his arms.

A family. Is there a rule stating each person only gets one?

Hua Cheng whispers, "Gege, gege – I love you," into the skin of his neck, squeezing Xie Lian's waist a little bit as he clings to him, and Xie Lian's tired eyes, unbidden, fill with tears.

Sleeping helps. It patches him up at his weak spots where the wind leaks through too much, and when he is roused by Hua Cheng's hands smoothing through his hair the following morning, the sun is streaming in through their windows in big, wide streaks, casting his husband's skin a rich, amber color. He is beautiful as he watches Xie Lian, that sharp mouth curled up just slightly at the corners. Xie Lian reaches out to run his thumb along the curve of Hua Cheng's cupid bow and, inspired by the gentle tranquility of the morning, vows to paint the newly-built nursery a brilliant, radiant gold.

–

Sitting on the edge of Paradise Manor's large bathing pool, Hua Cheng's legs are spread to make room for Xie Lian's rosy, warm body. He's reclined, elbows pressed against the slippery tile as Xie Lian sweeps forward and swallows his cock down to the hilt again, again, again.

"Nngh, gege," heat stirs in his abdomen, sharp and red-hot, and he rasps out a ragged moan as Xie Lian digs his blunt fingernails into Hua Cheng's hips. "Close, close."

"Already?" Xie Lian asks in their array, teasing lilt to his voice.

"Gege," Hua Cheng groans, "don't – ah, don't be mean."

Xie Lian thinks mean would be taking away his mouth in favor of stretching Hua Cheng open so that he can fuck him raw the way he'd like to, but his husband is a pretty thing squirming against the sea-glass tile, and he's been worked up since Xie Lian playfully blew on the tip of his ear at the Gambler's Den earlier, so he relaxes his throat and takes him deeper still. I'm actually being incredibly nice, he thinks to himself, tongue dipping into the slit and making Hua Cheng hiccup, his hips jerking. If he weren't so cute I wouldn't go nearly as easy on him.

"Ah, you – oh, oh, gege," long fingers sweep through his hair, latching on at the root, "please, let me, I want to-"

Xie Lian hums, a quiet, "Mn," around Hua Cheng's leaking cock.

"Can I?" Hua Cheng asks, frantic, nails scratching lightly at Xie Lian's scalp. "Gege, I'm – please, let me, let me come-"

"San Lang," Xie Lian says into their array, hollowing his cheeks, "you've been so good. Gege will give you what you need."

Hua Cheng's spine arches, and it almost looks painful. A sob is wrenched from his mouth.

"Fuck, I'm – gege," he pants, gasps, chokes on his words and just barely manages to tack on, "I'm coming, coming, oh-" before he's spilling beautifully down Xie Lian's throat, a low, coarse groan echoing throughout the bathing chamber.

Xie Lian takes it in stride, swallowing what he is given, and carefully pulls back to let Hua Cheng's spit-slick, softening cock fall from his lips. It's shiny, glistening and flushed when Xie Lian giggles and runs a finger down it, and Hua Cheng covers his face as he rests against the cool tile, the tips of his ears bright pink.

"San Lang," Xie Lian coos, "did it feel good?"

Hua Cheng shoots him a look; part betrayal, part genuine surprise.

"His Highness has become such a tease since marrying this humble believer," he bemoans. "I feel as though I've created a monster."

Xie Lian only laughs, tugging his husband back into the steaming bathwater, and softly murmurs, "Let me wash you."

There are baskets of scented oils and fragrance bars scattered around the rim of the in-ground pool, and Xie Lian reaches for one that smells of lotus and sweet milk, lathering it up in his palms until his skin cannot be seen through all the bubbles. Hua Cheng relaxes so swiftly beneath his touch that a pleased little, "good boy," slips out of Xie Lian's mouth before he can help it, and he is delighted when the back of Hua Cheng's neck goes red in response.

Once his shoulders are soapy, Xie Lian gingerly spins him around to do his front. Hua Cheng, a good deal taller than Xie Lian in his true form, leans down to press a kiss to Xie Lian's temple, and it's – the gesture is so gentle that his hands tremble, slipping and sliding along Hua Cheng's waist until they reach his abdomen, and-

"What?" he frowns, trying to catch a glimpse of Hua Cheng's stomach, but the milky-white water blocks his view. He fumbles around, palm sweeping over the area where the faint ridges of his abs usually are, only – there's a bump in their place, and Xie Lian's chest goes wonderfully, impossibly full.

"San Lang," he rushes out, heart pattering quick, quick in his chest, "hop up on the edge for me again, please."

Hua Cheng's face remains impassive as he does as asked. Xie Lian watches him patiently, nudges his knees apart to stand between those slender legs, and then presses a palm to the small of Hua Cheng's back and urges him to bow his spine.

The position gives him a clear view of Hua Cheng's stomach; of the tiny, round bump that protrudes from it, and his throat goes dry. He hadn't noticed before, hadn't – it's been a while since he's given this area much attention besides the occasional, wandering kiss, and so he hadn't seen the gradual change, but now, looking closely, he sees it. Could not miss it for the world.

"San Lang," he exhales, a fluttering laugh catching the tail-end of the words, "look at this!"

Quiet laughter spills from Hua Cheng's mouth, clear as bells. Xie Lian has his hands wrapped around that tapered waist, dark eyes never leaving his stomach. They're both shaking, skin feverish from the bathwater, and Xie Lian shifts as joy surges through him, moving to wrap his arms around Hua Cheng's middle in a tight hug. He laughs harder and squishes his grinning face into Hua Cheng's belly.

"His Highness does not mind it?" Hua Cheng questions, a hand stroking down Xie Lian's head.

Xie Lian glances up, surprised.

"How could I?" he asks. "You're carrying our child. I would be a fool to find you anything less than breathtaking."

He means it, will say it a thousand, thousand times until Hua Cheng knows it is true the same way he knows his ashes are safest around Xie Lian's neck, but he doesn't get the chance to before Hua Cheng is tugging him up into a messy, biting kiss, licking past his lips to brush their tongues together.

"Gege," he murmurs against Xie Lian's stinging mouth, "gege, I could kiss you forever. Would you let me?"

Xie Lian nods. Slides a hand into Hua Cheng's hair, damp where the ends have slipped into the soapy water.

"Mn," he hums. "There is nothing you could ask of me that I would not give."

Hua Cheng smiles wide into the kiss, clearly pleased by this answer, and then they're laughing again, chuckling into each other's mouths as joy settles over the manor like a thick, wool blanket. Xie Lian lays his palm over Hua Cheng's stomach, feeling the way it curves beneath his touch, and whispers, "Send out your butterflies. I want to see you from every angle."

Though red dusts the apples of his cheeks, Hua Cheng waves a hand to do as requested. A slew of silvery wraith butterflies flurry about their bathing quarters, and Xie Lian is tugged forward so that his forehead is pressed right to Hua Cheng's. When he closes his eyes, his heart delights at the sight of his San Lang glowing brilliantly from an aerial point of view.

Submerged in his good mood like thick, sticky honey, Xie Lian lets himself laze about the manor for the rest of the day, doting on Hua Cheng whenever possible. They finish with their baths and change into warm clothing to peruse the market stalls, where the citizens of Ghost City stare unblinkingly at Hua Cheng's stomach but do not make any untoward comments. There are rumors going around–Xie Lian's heard them–but neither he nor his husband care much about giving them any validity.

A seven-eyed ghost wearing barbed bracelets around her wrists and ankles catches Xie Lian's ever-wandering attention. Her stall has been plucked apart, almost cleared out, but there is a beautiful painting of a fox stalking through a field, chasing after a leaping rabbit, and Xie Lian's eyes glimmer as he walks closer to drink in the details. Every stroke is calculated, immaculately done, and the ghost at the stall quickly hands it to him, her long fingernails tickling his skin as she says, "If Grand Uncle likes it, it's on the house!"

"No, no, let me pay for it," Xie Lian says, rummaging around for his pouch only for Hua Cheng to beat him to it, sliding some polished coins to the ghost lady. "This is beautiful. Did you paint it?"

"Sure did," the ghost tells him. "All my paintings are one of a kind! That one is imbued with good luck."

"San Lang," Xie Lian looks over his shoulder at his husband, then nods toward the painting in his hands. "Don't you think it'd look good in the-" he stops short, cheeks growing hot. The ghosts at the stalls surrounding them pause what they're doing and listen with bated breath. "Uh, in that…room we just had added to the manor."

"Gege has immaculate taste," Hua Cheng smiles. "Do you want to go and find a place for it on the wall?"

"Oh, yes, in just a moment – look at these!" Xie Lian sprints off to another stall selling clothing and picks up a pair of little mittens embroidered with clouds in silvery-blue stitching. "They're so small…"

Hua Cheng rests a hand against the base of Xie Lian's back, humming.

And so they trudge back to Paradise Manor with their arms full of all kinds of wares, huge to tiny; from paintings to clothing to shoes to a chair imbued with a calming effect, able to soothe even the fussiest of babies–and their exhausted parents–to sleep. The nursery still seems rather empty even after they've found a place for all of their goods, but Xie Lian isn't vexed. In fact, he discovers that he quite likes shopping when he's buying for someone else.

Of course, Hua Cheng doesn't let him spend even a single coin of his own, and the residents give them half of the items for free, but there's nothing to be done for it. When Xie Lian and Hua Cheng stroll through the market streets a couple of days later, the stalls, usually crammed full of items only ghosts would have any use for, have all been suspiciously stocked with first-time parent essentials.

–

Six or so odd months into the pregnancy, Xie Lian wakes up to an empty, chilled bedroom, the door cracked open. He sits up, blinking sleep from his bleary eyes, and strains his ears to hear Hua Cheng's voice sweeping in from down the hall. He's having a conversation with someone, though it sounds terse and stilted, and Xie Lian quickly pushes out of bed to follow that voice.

The door to the nursery is ajar, and Xie Lian moves nimbly to peer through it, careful not to be spotted. He sees his husband's gorgeous, red silhouette from the back, but the person he's speaking to is out of view. Hua Cheng sighs, his arms crossed, and someone curses under their breath on the other side of the room.

"If you damage the chair, I'll kick your ass," Hua Cheng spits.

"How could I damage it? I'm just putting a blanket over the back of it," comes Mu Qing's voice, haughty and tight, and before Xie Lian knows what he's doing, he's rounding the cracked door to stand right there in the entryway.

Hua Cheng's head whips around, eye widening just slightly. "Gege, I didn't hear you wake up."

Xie Lian flashes him a tiny, wavering smile, then his gaze flickers over and he stares at Mu Qing.

"What are you doing here?" he asks, soft.

Mu Qing glares at the floor, his ears red.

"Brought something for you," he waves a hand toward the rocking chair in the corner, over which a rich, cream-colored blanket rests. It has butterflies needled onto it in thread the color of the sky, and it looks thick and full. "I'm not staying long."

"Oh," Xie Lian blinks. His eyes never leave that blanket. "Where did you get it? The needlework is familiar."

Mu Qing mumbles something, but Xie Lian doesn't catch it.

"What?" he asks.

A frustrated sigh. Then: "I said, I didn't buy it, I made it."

Xie Lian's mouth falls open.

"It'll be good during colder months," Mu Qing continues, crossing his arms over his chest.

Yes, but – he made it? With his own hands?

"If you don't want it, I'll take it back to the heavens with me," he snaps after another bout of silence.

Xie Lian quickly waves his hands. "No, no, I like it! It's beautiful," he takes a step toward it, then another, until he's able to slide his palm over the material; it's even softer than it looks.

"Thank you," he whispers, turning his gaze upon Mu Qing, who is actively not looking at him and seems like he'd rather the ground swallow him up than spend another moment here, speaking to them. "I'm not sure what to say."

"Just save it," he huffs. "Feng Xin had me deliver those," he nods toward a basket on the floor filled to the brim with toys, big and small, and Xie Lian beams. "He's currently dealing with some business but told me to let you know he'd be visiting soon."

"Oh," says Xie Lian. "Tell him I said I look forward to it."

"I'm not a spiritual communication array! Tell him yourself," Mu Qing snaps, and then he's walking briskly toward the door, spine rigid and straight.

Xie Lian thinks he's going to leave without a goodbye, but he stops. Turns to glance over his shoulder, the apples of his cheeks a little pink, and clears his throat.

"If His Highness needs anything, he knows where to find me."

Xie Lian isn't given time to respond before Mu Qing swiftly dips out of the nursery, draws an array, and disappears. For a moment, he merely stands there, arms stiff at his sides. He hadn't expected visitors upon first waking up, and he'd expected Mu Qing even less, but – he looks at the blanket. Notices that some of the butterflies are carrying flowers on the backs of their wings, and he…something in his chest feels heavy, and it makes his throat tight.

"Gege," Hua Cheng begins tentatively, "are you all right?"

"Oh, yes," Xie Lian turns to his husband, a small smile on his face. "San Lang, did you know he was coming by?"

"No."

"But you still let him in?"

"He's gege's-" Hua Cheng pauses. Seems unable to get out the word friend, so he says, "I figured you'd want to see him," and leaves it at that.

Xie Lian's smile widens, and he sidles up in front of Hua Cheng to tug him into a hug. His stomach is big and swollen beneath his robes, a total juxtaposition to the tiny bump Xie Lian had first seen a couple of months ago, and it forces them to cling to each other a bit more awkwardly–but no less tight–than usual. Xie Lian holds him close for a long while, then pulls back to rest both of his palms flat against Hua Cheng's stomach, covered by the soft fabric of his crimson robes.

"San Lang looks so beautiful these days," he sighs wistfully. "Not that he usually doesn't, but – your skin seems to be glowing. How are you feeling?"

"Perfectly healthy and content," comes Hua Cheng's easy answer, one of his big hands cupping the side of Xie Lian's face. "Your Highness, how are you feeling?"

"Happy," Xie Lian says without thinking. "So happy that I sometimes…" he trails off. Hua Cheng cocks his head, listening with his usual rapt attention.

"I guess I'm beginning to wonder what the catch is," he eventually chuckles.

"The catch," Hua Cheng repeats.

"Yes," Xie Lian whispers. "Am I truly allowed to just…have this? It doesn't feel real."

"Gege," a thumb sweeps over Xie Lian's cheekbone, soft. "You are truly allowed to just have this. I'd give you anything your heart desires. This is nothing."

Xie Lian smiles a watery, tender-looking smile, nodding a couple of times.

"It isn't nothing," he says, pushing up on his toes to kiss Hua Cheng's petal-pink mouth. "It's everything. My San Lang is so good to me."

Though still pale in pallor, Hua Cheng's cheeks take on a dusting of color beneath the praise, and Xie Lian finds him so overwhelmingly cute that he can do nothing but kiss him all over his face until they're both slumped to the floor, laughing in each other's arms as the rising sun casts the room in gold.

–

They're at Thousand Lights temple, Hua Cheng pretending to diligently practice calligraphy while Xie Lian watches him secretly enchant the red earring he usually wears in his hair to roll around on the paper instead. He'd usually scold him for slacking off, but Xie Lian is pleasantly relaxed and loose-limbed after taking Hua Cheng over the altar a little while ago, and he merely fights back a fond smile as he watches him play.

The rigidity of his shoulders seems to happen suddenly. One moment, his long, lithe fingers are chasing that red pearl around, and the next, Hua Cheng is sitting up stock-straight, his body tense. Xie Lian frowns, quickly climbing off of the divan to pad over to him.

"San Lang?" he kneels by his side, hand on his knee. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure," comes Hua Cheng's faint reply. He rests a hand on his stomach, face flushed. "Something feels – oh," he wrenches his hand away, his fingers trembling. "What..?"

Xie Lian raises his own hand and carefully, so as not to spook him, presses it over Hua Cheng's stomach. It is warmer than the rest of him even beneath his robes, and almost absently, Xie Lian strokes it with his thumb, his heart swelling in his chest. Nothing about it feels abnormal, though; nothing about the way it flutters a couple of times against his palm feels wrong, except – it flutters a couple of times against his palm. He gasps, and Hua Cheng looks at him with a sharp eye full of worry.

"You feel it, too?" he asks.

Xie Lian nods, staring at his belly. He hasn't moved his hand, and that fluttering little pulse starts up once more, soft against his fingers. Hua Cheng flinches.

"Something is wrong," he says, a panicked edge to his voice that Xie Lian has so rarely heard before. "Perhaps we should call for the doctor, or-"

"San Lang," Xie Lian reaches out with his free hand to twine their fingers together, squeezing. "I read about this in one of the books Shi Qingxuan sent us. I think the baby is just moving around."

Hua Cheng blinks. His face colors with surprise, brows shooting up, and a tiny, whisper-quiet, "oh," falls from his mouth.

They're silent for a while, staring at each other, and then the fluttering starts up again, Xie Lian feels it, and he laughs so loud and bright that Hua Cheng immediately joins in, dipping down to press their foreheads together. Though it seems a little uncomfortable, Hua Cheng only places his palm over his stomach and waits for the movements, less frightened now.

"It's almost like a little kick," he murmurs, nose brushing against Xie Lian's cheek as they stay close, wrapped up in each other. "Feels…strange."

"Bad?" Xie Lian asks.

Hua Cheng shakes his head. "No, just different. Gege, it's-"

The baby moves again–Xie Lian feels it against his hand–and Hua Cheng stutters out a breathless laugh.

"Eager to come out," he chuckles. Then, glancing down at his stomach, he says, "Behave. It's not your time yet."

But soon, Xie Lian thinks. The realization hits him full-force, and he's almost knocked back on his rear as he moves to grip Hua Cheng's knee. Him, a parent. A father. He thinks back to his own childhood; to sleeping in his parents' bed until he was no longer small and cute and his father grew tired of it. He thinks back to all of the disagreements, where their moral alignments never did quite match up, and how, deep in the throes of madness, the last thing Xie Lian said to him wasn't an, I love you, or anything even remotely kind, but something snippy and mean and meant to hurt. It was a long time ago, and so it shouldn't matter as much as it does anymore, but he can't seem to let it go free from his mind.

"Gege?"

Xie Lian's head snaps up, almost knocking into Hua Cheng's nose.

"Hm?"

"Are you okay? You went quiet."

"I'm okay," Xie Lian answers immediately because he is, mostly. And because Hua Cheng deserves as much of him as he has to give, he adds, quieter, "I was thinking about my father."

Hua Cheng says nothing as his hands play with Xie Lian's fingers and he waits for him to continue.

"I wonder what they might've thought of you, had they met you," Xie Lian murmurs. "And I wonder what they'd think of this," he presses a gentle hand to Hua Cheng's stomach. "My parents never pushed me much about marriage before I ascended. Cultivation was my priority; they knew that. I think, after Xianle fell, they might have given up on the idea of an heir altogether."

Hua Cheng watches him carefully, the look in his eye unknowable, and Xie Lian ducks his head. When was the last time he spoke of any of this aloud? He can't remember. Ruoye, off in the corner wrapping and unwrapping Eming, stills and comes over to slither around his wrist, nudging him as if trying to offer comfort. He chuckles weakly, gently petting it.

"I'm not exactly personable," Hua Cheng begins after a long bout of looming silence, his voice steady and low. "I won't pretend to know what they'd think of me. But you…" he trails off, reaching out to sweep back a bit of Xie Lian's unruly hair. "Your Highness, you're amazing. You've done so well, and have remained so kind. They'd be proud of you."

Xie Lian peeks up at him through the fan of his lashes, offering a watery smile.

"Mn," he nods. "I think so too."

Two arms curl around Xie Lian's shoulders, tugging him close, and Xie Lian moves to rest his head in Hua Cheng's lap, kneeling on the floor beside him. Hua Cheng usually never allows him to be on his knees like this if he can help it, but he does not protest now as he drags his fingers through thick, silky strands of Xie Lian's hair, stroking it until the tension fades from his body and his eyes drift shut. Hua Cheng's stomach is full, nudging against Xie Lian's nose as he nuzzles close, and the both of them stay like that for a long, long while.

"I don't know how to be a father," Hua Cheng eventually says, hand still moving through Xie Lian's hair. "My own wasn't exactly a paragon of virtue."

Xie Lian holds his breath, listening closely. Hua Cheng never speaks of his birth family, and faced with something so rare, so precious, Xie Lian doesn't know what to do with himself. His hands tremble where they're folded in his lap.

"And I don't remember my mother well, either. With so little personal experience, I sometimes wonder if I'm capable of being a parent at all. But," Hua Cheng runs a cool finger over the shell of Xie Lian's ear, tracing it, "Your Highness, the moment I look at you, every bit of fear or doubt inside of me vanishes."

Xie Lian's heart lurches, and his head pops up so that he can stare at Hua Cheng, eyes wide and round.

"I'm not going to pretend the road will always be easy to walk," he continues, "but at the very least, it'll be worth it if you're by my side."

Outside the temple, the distant sounds of Ghost City growing lively as the sun goes down is a comfort, as familiar as it is exciting. Xie Lian does not have a kingdom any longer, but he has this – a husband who loves him, who would die for him and has done so several times. A husband who sought him out in life and in death; who spent a handful of insignificant days with Xie Lian at Puqi Shrine before placing his ashes on a chain around Xie Lian's neck. A husband who built an entire city from the ground up only to offer it in its entirety to Xie Lian the first time he ever visited. It's baffling how much Hua Cheng trusts him, but it's heady, too, and Xie Lian's heart seems to beat stronger because of it, a little faster. How easy it is to love him. How simple, how wonderful. How priceless.

Xie Lian quickly stands, tugging Hua Cheng along with him, and leads him toward the divan. He says nothing, but he doesn't need to; Hua Cheng has always been good at sticking close to him, first following at Xie Lian's heels way back when he was small, and then right alongside him after they'd reunited again some eight hundred years later. He gently shoves at Hua Cheng's chest, urging him to sit on the edge of the divan, and Hua Cheng goes easily.

"Is gege tired?" he asks, lifting a brow. "It's still a bit early for bed."

"Not tired," Xie Lian says, shaking his head. He smooths his hands down Hua Cheng's shoulders, over the solid muscle of his biceps. Asks, slowly, "This is a place of worship, isn't it?"

Hua Cheng seems genuinely flummoxed at the question, but he nods once, anyway.

"Of course."

"Then," Xie Lian nudges his legs apart to stand between them before dropping to his knees with little fanfare, but with all the elegance and grace of former royalty, "be still while I present my offerings."

Hua Cheng's eye widens, his cheeks going dusty-pink. Xie Lian fights back a fond smile as he hastily parts his robes.

–

They meet their child on the first day of Spring, vestiges of the cooler months bleeding away to make room for blossoming flowers and warm, sunny rain.

Xie Lian is cooking when it happens. It's a sudden thing. One moment, he's wrist-deep in dough telling Hua Cheng about a recipe he'd had as a child and has never been able to recreate, and the next, there's a stark clatter from across the kitchen, and Xie Lian glances over his shoulder to see that Hua Cheng has dropped his chopsticks and is clutching his stomach with a pained expression on his face, eye squeezed shut. He rips his hand from the food and rushes over, kneeling down next to the chair Hua Cheng is perched on.

"San Lang? What's going on?"

Hua Cheng's breath whooshes out of him in a sharp, quick exhale, and he trembles as he sucks in air through his clenched teeth.

"Gege," he manages after a long while during which Xie Lian almost loses himself, his thoughts spiraling, "have Yin Yu contact the doctor, please."

Xie Lian presses two fingers to his temple without hesitation, and after Yin Yu's swift affirmation that the doctor is on her way, he stands straight up, a hand on Hua Cheng's shoulder, and asks, "Can you walk?"

Hua Cheng looks like he wants to say yes, Xie Lian sees the word form on his lips, but then he lurches forward and a fist slams against the table as he clutches his stomach tighter.

"Don't think so," he eventually murmurs, brows pinched as if displeased.

That's just as well; Xie Lian had figured as much. He bends to place one hand beneath Hua Cheng's knees and the other around his waist, and without exerting much effort at all, he lifts him up in his arms, cradling him gently as he heads toward their bedroom. Hua Cheng's mouth is twisted down in a grimace like this whole thing has aggrieved him, but he clutches a fistful of Xie Lian's robes in one hand and lets himself be placed in bed, tucked beneath the blankets.

"Something is wrong," Hua Cheng says, eye shut as he rests his head against the bed frame. "There should still be another month before-"

"Baby is a tad early," comes the doctor's voice, sharp yet calm as she enters the room without knocking and swiftly rounds the bed, shoving aside the canopy curtains. Trailing behind her is the little ghost nurse she'd introduced to them some time back to help with the delivery. The ghost doesn't speak, the bottom half of her face missing, but she has kind eyes and wears a medical mask as she gives a friendly nod to Xie Lian. The doctor waves her over and then says, suddenly serious, "I hope the two of you are prepared."

"Y-Yes," Xie Lian nods, the movement jerky.

"He isn't coming yet. It's not time," Hua Cheng says, strained.

"Says who?" the doctor asks.

"'He?'" Xie Lian repeats.

Both are said at nearly the same time. Hua Cheng spares no attention to the doctor, instead holding out his hand, palm up.

"Gege, come here."

Xie Lian stands close to him, twining their fingers together. When he squeezes, always gentle, Hua Cheng squeezes back.

Is it normal for the labor process to have started so suddenly? To have escalated so quickly? Xie Lian is not without a brain; he has done his research and then some, but he – where is the time? He'd expected the pain, though sharp, to begin gradually and build the closer one got to delivering, but Hua Cheng seems to be suffering greatly already. Does that mean the baby truly is coming now?

"My Lord, Your Highness," the doctor begins, snapping Xie Lian out of his panic-stricken thoughts as she slides on a pair of sheepskin gloves, "I'm being sincere when I say, there is truly no time to debate this. I need you to prepare yourselves. Not being ready isn't an option."

"What do we have to do?" Xie Lian asks. His heart thumps wildly in his chest, and he beats back a wave of nausea with sheer will alone as sweat begins to teem at his temples.

"As I mentioned to you during our last visit, there are two options: a surgical procedure, or natural birth. As Lord Chengzhu is a shapeshifter, I highly recommend the second option. It will be less traumatic for both parent and child."

Xie Lian nods quickly, glancing at Hua Cheng. They'd been made aware some time back that the surgical procedure is best used for emergencies only, and they've spoken about this extensively on several occasions. Even still, Xie Lian, wanting to ensure his husband has not changed his mind, asks: "San Lang, what do you think?"

A pause. Hua Cheng's face crumples as he rides out another wave of discomfort, tightening his grip on Xie Lian's hand.

After it has passed, he says, "All right," panting hard even though he doesn't need to breathe at all. He waves his free hand in which a gentle glow exudes from his body, and then Hua Cheng cracks open his eye to peer up at Xie Lian. It's glazed; a little red-rimmed. Xie Lian's chest clenches. "It's done, gege."

The doctor doesn't seem to mind that Hua Cheng is ignoring her in favor of answering through Xie Lian. She works quickly, her hands nimble, and shucks down the blankets with clean cloth and a pile of talismans ready to go.

"I'll need two buckets of water, both warm, and you'll want to fetch some blankets and a wash basin," she says.

Xie Lian freezes. Is he meant to go get them himself? He bites at his bottom lip until it stings, tasting of iron, and then turns to face Hua Cheng.

"I can't leave you," he murmurs, "I've got to send for Yin Yu."

Hua Cheng's face falls. "Gege, no-"

"San Lang, what else can I do?" he asks, eyes round with worry. "I don't want to be separated from you right now. I can have him leave it at the door; he won't need to enter the bedroom. Please?"

Hua Cheng sighs, nodding slowly. "Okay."

Moments later, the matter is settled. Xie Lian retrieves the items from outside the door, catching the tail-end of Yin Yu's robes as he disappears around the corner, and hurries to place them next to the bedside. From there, it gets more complicated. Hua Cheng is divested of his robes save for the inner one, which is left untied and bunched up around his waist. The doctor sits on a stool near Hua Cheng's feet, urging him to take deep breaths so that she may examine him. And though he handles the rapidly increasing pain with grace, Xie Lian sees the way it draws up his whole body, making him tense all over. He feels as if his heart has leapt into his throat. It threatens to choke him.

"Isn't there something we can do to ease his discomfort?" Xie Lian asks the doctor.

She barely looks at him, her dark eyes sharp as she fusses with a talisman. "I'm afraid not. Anything I could offer may weaken his spiritual energy, which could impact Lord Chengzhu's ability to shapeshift."

Xie Lian opens his mouth to speak, to plead–surely there must be something–but Hua Cheng taps a thumb against his knuckle, their hands interlocked.

"Gege, don't worry too much," he says, an easy smile on his handsome face that only looks strained when Xie Lian stares at him very closely, "the pain is nothing."

"How can it be nothing?" Xie Lian frets, eyes stinging. He reaches for a cloth with his free hand, stretches to dunk it in the warm water basin near his feet, and gently wipes away the sweat at Hua Cheng's forehead. "There must be something we can do."

"It's no worse than Mount Tonglu opening," Hua Cheng explains. "I can handle it."

The doctor shoots him a look. "For now."

Trembling so hard he's nearly shivering with each shallow, panicked inhale, Xie Lian moves a little closer to his husband, shaky hand brushing his hair back. He sweeps forward to press a kiss against the skin of Hua Cheng's forehead, usually cool but now marred with sweat despite how much he dabs it away, and breathes in the scent of him – the fragrance bars that smell richly of flowers, the herbs and oils they bathe with. The familiar scent comforts him.

"My Lord, you'll be ready to push before long," says the doctor after she's finished her swift, yet thorough, examination. She shifts on her stool, a stern but calm look on her face. "If something doesn't feel right, if the pain becomes unbearable, you must let me know."

Hua Cheng's mouth goes taut, pulled into a thin line. He doesn't look at her, but he does nod once, almost imperceptibly. Some of the tension bleeds out of Xie Lian's shoulders.

While Xie Lian doesn't know the specifics of how the child-bearing pills work past, 'suddenly makes one fertile,' and 'allows one to possess a womb for ten months,' he is grateful that this process is one the doctor seems intimate with, if only thanks to Hua Cheng's shape-shifting abilities. As the contractions intensify, drawing closer together still, and Hua Cheng's grip on his hand tightens to the point of being painful, Xie Lian gnaws on his bottom lip until it's red and stinging. There isn't much he can do regardless of how he agonizes over the fact, and so the moment he can slip away and retrieve a ribbon from their vanity, he does so, quickly returning to tie Hua Cheng's long, thick hair up for him. Anything to make himself useful; to lessen Hua Cheng's discomfort.

When he becomes restless from all of the lying around, from all of the sharply-focused pain, the nurse makes a gesture with her hand, and the doctor says, "Oh, yes! Lord Chengzhu, why don't you walk around for a bit? It'll speed the process along."

And so Xie Lian wraps an arm around Hua Cheng's waist while they do rounds of the large bedroom together. The movement does seem to take the edge off of the pain, as Hua Cheng's breathing comes just a little easier, his heartbeat slowing down to its usual sluggish pace. Though Xie Lian is nervous he's going to do something wrong, nervous he's going to hurt his husband in some way (which is daft because Hua Cheng is a Supreme), he never lets his hands waver; never lets his hold slacken.

"His Highness is so good to this one," Hua Cheng says, words soft. Quiet. "Thank you."

Xie Lian shakes his head, peering up at him. "What are you thanking me for? Don't be silly."

Silence. Then, "Your Highness," comes Hua Cheng's low, terse voice, hoarse at its edges, "perhaps you shouldn't be here for this."

Xie Lian blanches. "I don't – what do you mean? Why shouldn't I?"

"I don't want you to worry."

"So…what? You'd have me go and wait outside until it's over? You think I won't be just as worried out there, pacing the halls?" Xie Lian asks, incredulous. He sounds more upset than he means to; vexed, and beneath that, hurt.

"It's – oh," Hua Cheng's eye slams shut, hands over his belly, and Xie Lian helps him back into the bed as he wipes at his damp forehead, brushing stray strands of his hair behind his ears until he can speak again. A horrid little bout of quiet save for the sound of Hua Cheng's harsh breathing passes, and then he says, almost meekly, "You shouldn't have to see me like this."

"I would take you in any way, in any form," Xie Lian tells him, "this is – San Lang, this is nothing. You've seen me through worse, haven't you?"

Through the embarrassment of failing his kingdom, through the loss of his faith in humanity as he was stabbed by the very people he'd only wanted to protect while a little ghost fire watched on, unable to do anything but glow and flicker and rattle in its lantern. Through the loss of his parents and the misplaced anger that followed. And then, as Xie Lian regained faith in the world, as he fought for himself and for others despite Jun Wu's sabotage, as he pulled himself up from the ground with that bamboo hat on his head while his most devout believer sacrificed himself to a hungry plague – he'd been there, too, as Wu Ming. Hadn't Hua Cheng seen all of the lowest moments of Xie Lian's life? If one really thought about it, hadn't they walked them together?

Hua Cheng is sweating and panting and flushed red down to his chest, but so what? He isn't a weak man by will or constitution; carries almost as much strength in his body as Xie Lian does in his own, and is just as driven. The only grating, awful part about any of this is that his husband is in pain – the rest, Xie Lian can handle. Hua Cheng doesn't want Xie Lian to see him like this? How unwittingly cruel of him, to suggest Xie Lian miss something so beautiful; how silly. He wouldn't go even if he were being dragged away by his ankles, his fingernails left to dig and scrape at the floorboards.

"Let me stay," Xie Lian implores, eyes wide, sparkling, wet with tears that make them sting, "please, San Lang. You're having our child. Nothing about that could be anything but wonderful. How could I not want to be here to witness it?"

Hua Cheng's eye goes a little wide, soft at its corners, and then his cheeks take on that pretty, peony-pink flush Xie Lian has grown so familiar with as he groans, "Gege," two-parts embarrassed, three-parts astonishingly in love. He doesn't mention Xie Lian leaving again. Grateful for it, Xie Lian kisses his temple and sticks close to his side.

Conversation dies after that, and swiftly, too. With the contractions coming closer together now, hardly any time for Hua Cheng to find reprieve between them, the doctor triple-checks her surroundings. They've got everything they need and then some–Xie Lian has made sure of it, and Yin Yu, by extension–and with a medical mask in place and clean gloves on her hands, she perches on her stool near the foot of the bed and focuses her cool, collected gaze on Xie Lian.

"Where would you like to be? Up there with the father, or down here to help me catch the baby?" she asks.

"Catch?" Xie Lian squeaks.

"A bit of an exaggeration," she chuckles. "With the clean cloths and luxurious bedding here at Lord Chengzhu's estate, your child will be swathed in comfort the moment they enter the world, no catching required. So, would you like to come down here and assist?"

Xie Lian shakes his head. Says, without much thought, "No, I want to stay where I am," and clutches Hua Cheng's clammy hand firmly in his own.

"Suit yourself," she says. Then, with a steady hand on Hua Cheng's calf, "My Lord, you'll need to begin pushing. Draw in big breaths and bear down when I instruct you to do so."

Hua Cheng nods. The pretty ghost nurse comes to stand by the doctor's side, ready to assist. Xie Lian holds his breath until he realizes what he's doing, his lips turning blue, and then he sucks in air like he's drowning. He wonders if Hua Cheng can hear the way his heart is slamming itself against the inside of his chest.

The doctor, calm enough for the both of them, says, "Deep breaths, My Lord. Good, good. Bend your legs at the knee. Now – let's have a big push."

The hand held firmly in his squeezes tight, tighter still, and Xie Lian watches on, helpless, as Hua Cheng's eye slams shut and his face goes twisted and red. Nothing seems to happen from where Xie Lian is standing, but the doctor nods and murmurs a gentle, "Great job. Take a moment to breathe. Now, let's try again."

The process is long and grueling, if only because Xie Lian is so eager for it to be done with. He wants to meet their child, but even moreso, he wants the pain furrowing Hua Cheng's brow to dissipate. The doctor sets a rhythm that they stick to for a while–deep breaths, push, deep breaths, push–until Hua Cheng is exhausted, slumping back against the pillows with sweat rolling down his neck in rivulets.

"He needs a break," Xie Lian says, dragging a cool, damp washcloth over Hua Cheng's face. "San Lang, look at me." Sluggishly, a glassy, red-rimmed eye finds him. Xie Lian's heart lurches, and he softens his voice as he asks, "How are you doing, beloved?"

"Mn," is what Hua Cheng says, which isn't much of an answer at all. He's breathing hard, chest rising and falling fast with each ragged breath he takes, and panic bubbles up in Xie Lian's belly like a pot of stew left atop an open flame, boiling over the edges.

He tries again: "San Lang? What can I do?"

"I'm okay," Hua Cheng croaks, voice cracking. "I can keep going."

The doctor smiles a little. "Good. Let's continue. My Lord, the harder you work, the sooner you'll get to hold your child."

Another big breath, another great, heaving groan as Hua Cheng bears down, pushing when the doctor gives him the go-ahead. Xie Lian holds to Hua Cheng's hand, lets himself be squeezed and tugged as Hua Cheng anchors himself to Xie Lian's warmth and leans his weight against him, partway slumped.

"Chengzhu, I can see the crown of the baby's head. What beautiful, dark hair," the doctor says, and Xie Lian's eyes widen as he feels a heady dizziness sweep over him, making his knees go weak. "Come on, let's have another big push. Good, good, oh-"

Hua Cheng cries out, voice breaking, and collapses against the stack of pillows propped up behind him, head almost knocking against the wooden bedframe. He's breathing fast, skin flushed red in splotches, and Xie Lian almost panics–starts to–but then Hua Cheng takes another big, shuddering breath, grits his teeth, and bears down one more time.

The cry that cuts through the room, sweet as candied persimmons, seems to pause even time itself. Xie Lian watches as the doctor supports the head of a wailing infant, lifting him to be wiped clean with a cotton cloth by the ghost nurse. He can't breathe. The air catches in his throat, chokes him and turns his face blue, and by the time he rights himself once more, the doctor has already finished her brief examination of the baby and is leaning forward to gingerly drape him across Hua Cheng's warm chest.

They've still got their fingers twined, but Hua Cheng lifts his other hand to press it to their son's peach-pink back, thumb stroking the damp skin at the nape of his neck. His hair is thick and dark–almost the same deep-night color that Hua Cheng's is–and he wails with his little face squished against Hua Cheng's chest, tears rolling down his puffy cheeks.

Xie Lian laughs. He doesn't know why. It just bubbles up in his throat, spills past his parted lips, and he laughs and laughs until his lungs ache and his eyes go horribly wet. He laughs until the sound morphs into a strange mix of laughing-crying; until there are tears gathering so fast he can't seem to clear his vision, and Hua Cheng has to squeeze his hand a little tighter to ground him. He laughs until his voice breaks and no more sound comes out, and all he can do is drop to his knees by their bedside to bring himself level with his family, pressing his forehead to the sweat-slick skin of Hua Cheng's hip.

"Gege," Hua Cheng gently untangles their fingers to pet his hand over Xie Lian's hair instead, "what are you doing down there? Come and meet your son."

At those words, Xie Lian's head snaps up. He blinks at his husband who has never looked more beautiful, cheeks flushed rose-petal red, hair messy and sticking to his damp temple, and thinks, 'What did I do to deserve this? What could possibly hold this much weight, this much value? And when will it all be stripped away?'

But Hua Cheng has always been able to read him like a time-worn book, even with the yellowing pages and the tears at the corners, and so he cups Xie Lian's jaw, thumb just barely grazing the corner of his mouth, and says, "Your Highness, this is something good. Come, come," he urges Xie Lian up, making room on the bed for him, "you're allowed to have this."

Sitting at Hua Cheng's side, Xie Lian is better able to compare his son's delicate face with Hua Cheng's. Both of them have strong noses and that dark, inky-black hair, though their child's is slightly lighter beneath the flicker of the lantern's flames. His wailing has finally ceased, but his bottom lip stays jut out in a pout, and he lets out these awfully endearing, sweet little whimpers every now and again where his cheek is pushed against Hua Cheng's chest. He is his own type of beauty; the long-lasting kind that is sure to never fade, and Xie Lian reaches out to trace a finger along the shell of one of his tiny ears just to watch it twitch, to feel the way the skin warms beneath his touch.

It takes him a while to find his voice, but Xie Lian eventually manages to whisper, croaky and a little damp, "He's wonderful."

Hua Cheng hums. He hasn't stopped stroking his thumb along the feather-soft hair at their child's nape, and he doesn't look at Xie Lian as he says, barely audible, "His eyes."

"Hm?" Xie Lian frowns slightly. "What about his eyes?"

A grimace tugs at Hua Cheng's mouth. "I wonder what color they are."

"Oh," Xie Lian glances back down at the now-slumbering baby resting atop Hua Cheng's broad chest. Thinking on it for a moment, he slowly continues, "Does it matter what color they are when he'll be surrounded by people who adore him every moment of his life either way? There is not a single thing about him incapable of projecting great beauty."

Hua Cheng's own eye goes a tad red-rimmed before he presses his free hand to the back of Xie Lian's neck and drags him forward to drop a kiss right in the center of his forehead, soft and reverent.

Voice hoarse, he says, "Gege is correct as usual."

"Lord Chengzhu, Your Highness," the doctor cuts in, "I'll need to take your child for some quick testing. In the meantime, my assistant," she nods towards the ghost nurse, "will do any of the required stitching so that Chengzhu can safely shapeshift back into his other form, if he likes."

"Take him?" Hua Cheng repeats, brows shooting up. "You can do your tests here, where both His Highness and I can observe you. Surely you'll find no issue with that."

"Whatever My Lord desires," the doctor bows her head respectfully, changing into a fresh pair of gloves from her bag before she approaches, arms outstretched. Hua Cheng eyes her warily, and Xie Lian looks between them, concerned. With a friendly quirk at the corners of her lips, she asks, gently, "May I hold him?"

For a brief moment, Hua Cheng says nothing, and he does not move, both hands cradling their son's tiny body. His hands are so big, his fingers so long, and their child's head fits perfectly in his palm, snug and safe. He seems loathe to part with him, but the ghost nurse clears off the end of the bed to make space for the testing, and so Hua Cheng lifts the baby, stirring him from his sleep and drawing a squeaky little whine from his mouth, and places him in the doctor's awaiting arms.

She sets about doing her tests, and Xie Lian watches her with keen eyes for a moment, his gaze stuck like honey to the newborn crying softly where he squirms on the silky, crimson sheets. He's much smaller than Xie Lian had expected him to be, though he supposes it makes sense considering he arrived a tad early. So long as the doctor gives him a clean bill of health, there will be plenty of time for him to grow big and strong in the future.

When he's finally able to tear his eyes away to glance at his husband, he's almost taken aback to see Hua Cheng's fiery, intense gaze turned on the doctor and their son as well. He's got his arms crossed over his chest, a divot between his brows from how hard he's furrowing them, and he barely even looks at the ghost nurse as she gestures for him to open his legs so that she may determine if he needs any stitching. She works quickly, and after she's completed her task and stepped away from him, he tugs his inner robe up, ties it loosely, and waves a hand to shift back into his true form. All the while, his gaze does not stray from where their child is being poked and prodded by the doctor.

"San Lang," Xie Lian starts, trying to keep his tone light to melt away some of the ice layered thick over Hua Cheng's face, "how are you faring? You worked so hard. Surely you must be tired."

This gets Xie Lian a swift glance and a barely-there smile; small, but pleasant.

"It was nothing," Hua Cheng says, waving a hand. "I'm feeling fine."

"Don't say it like it was easy," Xie Lian tuts, scooting closer to him in order to wrap an arm around Hua Cheng's waist. His skin is still burning hot through the robes, but it is gradually beginning to cool, not quite as warm as it was a few moments ago. "I'm so happy that you're okay. If anything had happened to you, I would've-"

"Gege, don't think like that," Hua Cheng gently cuts in, resting his temple against the top of Xie Lian's head as they sit side-by-side. "This one is perfectly healthy."

"And I'll confirm that right now," says the doctor, stepping to stand in front of Xie Lian, their son now clean and swaddled in her arms. His fists and face poke out from a golden, silk blanket embroidered with clouds. "Your Highness, would you like to hold him while I examine Lord Chengzhu?"

Xie Lian suddenly feels his heart rate spike and he shoots up in bed, spine ramrod-straight. His hands tremble as he nods, stilted, and he whispers, "Yes, please."

The doctor carefully leans down to place the baby in Xie Lian's arms, and Xie Lian makes sure to cradle his head and support his neck, only – he is as light as freshly fallen snow, warm like Xie Lian but pale like Hua Cheng, and as Xie Lian works to memorize the weight of him, his eyes begin to sting all over again, full of unshed tears. The round apples of their son's cheeks are flushed pink, and when Xie Lian gently prods one with his finger, it is squishy like mantou, soft to the touch. He opens his mouth in a yawn that almost seems too big for his face, snuggling further into his silk blanket as he drifts into a peaceful slumber, and Xie Lian is left to watch in awe, his heart melting down into nothing behind his ribcage. He wiggles the tip of his pointer finger past the loose curl of their son's, and that hand, delicate as newly bloomed flower petals, instinctively clutches his finger as tightly as it can manage.

"Look at how he's clinging to you," Hua Cheng says, chin hooking over Xie Lian's shoulder so that he can stare down at their child. The doctor is checking his vitals, but he's hardly giving her the time of day. "He likes you so much already, gege."

Xie Lian chuckles. "You think so?"

Hua Cheng hums. "Of course. His expression is so peaceful. He must feel safe with you."

Warmth floods Xie Lian's stomach, spreading quick as a forest fire, and he peers at their son with a smile so big his face begins to ache from it.

"Is that true, sweet boy?" he coos, nose nuzzling the thick, dark hair at his temple. You ought to feel safe with me, he thinks to himself, unable to voice the words aloud for fear of choking on them, his throat still tight with unshed tears. There isn't a thing I wouldn't do for you, after all.

"You know," Hua Cheng says, "we'll have to give him a name."

Xie Lian nods, sniffling quietly.

"Yes," he says, "we'll give him a name, just – let me look at him for a little while longer, all right?"

Hua Cheng kisses the tender skin behind Xie Lian's ear, and murmurs, "Mn. Take as long as you'd like. There's no rush, is there?"

Outside their bedroom window, the sun is rising, casting tangerine-orange shadows across the carpet. Early Spring is calm with its mild temperatures and hushed sounds. Birds chirp from half-dead branches that are steadily regaining their leaves, and when Xie Lian presses his lips to the tip of their child's nose, something leaves him. Something chipped, splintered with hairline fractures. Something ugly. It whooshes right out of his lungs, makes him breathless, makes him dizzy, but…his hands cease their trembling after it is gone. His organs shift to fill up the space it left behind, and he is better for it. Whole again. Time appears to stop just for them, and the gashes that have etched themselves across his heart over the last eight hundred years begin to dissipate, leaving only scar tissue behind.

"No," he whispers, leaning into Hua Cheng's side, their child sleeping soundly in his arms, "no, there's no rush at all."

–

Thousand Lights Temple smells of citrus from the bowl of fruit Xie Lian is cradling in his lap, and over at the altar-turned-desk, Hua Cheng has enchanted that red pearl earring to roll around the paper and chase trails of drying ink, brush forgotten next to the cinnabar dish.

"Pick up your brush or I'll have you practice tomorrow, too," Xie Lian says, gaze locked on the book he's been trying to read for a while, borrowed from Paradise Manor's extensive library. When the threat doesn't seem to deter Hua Cheng, Xie Lian bites back a smile and adds, "I'm sure our little duckling would love to sit with his father and practice as well, hm? Maybe that'll motivate you."

"But gege," Hua Cheng groans, shooting a betrayed look at Xie Lian over his shoulder, "he bullies me!"

"No, he just keeps you focused. He's very diligent when it comes to calligraphy."

Under his breath, Hua Cheng grumbles, "Diligent? That's one word for it…"

Xie Lian snorts.

"If you're worried about being scolded by him, you better get to practicing. If he comes in and sees your brush lying on the table like that, he'll-"

Just then, the big, wooden doors to the temple swing open, and a child of about five, a bit small for his age, comes bounding inside. He's dressed in extravagant, crimson robes that match the flush high on his cheeks, and his onyx-black hair is pulled up in a ponytail pinned with a white lotus clip, strands swinging vigorously from the way he'd no doubt sprinted here. Besides the tiny scimitar at his hip, enchanted with a duller blade so as not to hurt him, he is carrying an armful of brightly colored rocks.

He skips over to Xie Lian and dumps the rocks across his lap. One of them tumbles into the bowl of orange slices Xie Lian had been picking through.

"Look what you've done, gege," Hua Cheng sighs, spinning around on his stool to face them, "we were having such a peaceful day until you spoke of the little beast and summoned him."

"I'm not a beast, I'm a person," says the boy, hopping onto the divan to curl up at Xie Lian's side, his legs swinging where they hang off the edge. "Papa, look at this rock. Doesn't it look like Eming?"

Xie Lian squints, peering at it. It is oddly scimitar shaped, and there's a tiny red stain in the middle; perhaps clay from being tumbled around, kicked through the dirt. He nods.

"Yes, I suppose it does."

Strapped to Hua Cheng's waist, Eming begins shaking with excitement at its name being said. Hua Cheng huffs, smacking its hilt, and their son is quick to sprint over to Hua Cheng's side, grabbing hold of his wrist.

"Don't hit it, papa. It just wants to come out and play," he pouts. He looks so like Hua Cheng when he does–specifically Hua Cheng in his San Lang form–and Xie Lian's heart grows soft. "Can you let it out? Just for a little while?"

Hua Cheng frowns, blinking down at their child. He's got wide eyes that sparkle like refined diamonds in the sun, and irises the same dark, rich shade of willow bark that Xie Lian's are. Hua Cheng had been worried initially, had spent nights roiled with anxiety until their child got a tad older and his true eye color was able to show through – no trace of red to be seen. Xie Lian hadn't cared much regardless. He would have found him unmatched in beauty either way.

"Fine," Hua Cheng sighs after a moment, and waves his hand to set Eming loose.

The saber zooms through the temple, knocking against the ceiling beams, and then comes right over to nudge their son's round, mantou-soft cheek with its silver hilt. Hua Cheng reaches out to pinch that cheek, unable to fight back the smile tugging at his lips, and their child squeals and bounds away, Eming trailing behind him.

"Duckie," Xie Lian calls, shaking his head fondly as the two chase each other through the temple, "did you finish your sword practice?"

The boy freezes. He turns to face Xie Lian, gaze downcast, and whines, "Papa, I don't like practicing with Qing-gege! He yells at me. And anyway, I snuck off because he started fighting with-"

Feng Xin bursts into the temple, Mu Qing hot at his heels. They're both side-eyeing each other, hair mussed from the way they'd no doubt been fist-fighting moments before. Even the armor they're dawning is displaced, dented in places. Xie Lian's brows pinch, and he presses a hand to his forehead.

"What happened to you two?" he asks.

"Get out," Hua Cheng deadpans.

"Monster!" their son squalls, hiding behind Eming.

Mu Qing glares. "What monster? Stop being mischievous! You ran away when we weren't looking, and we thought someone had taken you!"

"If you weren't so busy fighting, you might've noticed sooner," Hua Cheng sneers.

"Papa," their son fists at Hua Cheng's robes, tugging at the fabric as he tries to tuck himself behind them to hide. "Don't make me train with Qing-gege. I like practicing with you better!"

Mu Qing scoffs, arms crossing over his chest as he hisses, "I'm only even practicing sword techniques with you because your father asked me to, brat."

"Really?" Feng Xin asks, one of his thick, dark brows quirked. "Because this morning, you were all, 'we haven't seen him in so long. He's only five; if we don't visit soon, he'll forget all about us-' ow! Don't hit me," he catches Mu Qing's sharp elbow aimed at his ribs and shoves him away. "You're the one who said it. Don't act all embarrassed now."

Xie Lian laughs awkwardly, pushing up from the divan to go and scoop up their child, tucking some of that unruly hair behind one of his ears.

"It's fine. You three have been practicing for the better half of the morning. I'm sure you've got prayers to answer, and our little duckling is probably getting hungry," Xie Lian pokes his ribs, and the boy giggles and tries to squirm away, tucking his face into Xie Lian's neck. "Ready for lunch, silly?"

"Yes, papa," he begins, tentative, "but only if you let the ghosts at the manor cook. I really don't want your Love for All Seasons stew today."

Mu Qing blanches. "You're feeding him that slop? What the fuck."

"All right," Hua Cheng stands, voice cool, "get out. Both of you."

"Fine by me," Feng Xin grumbles. Then, "Your Highness," nod, "Crimson Rain," another nod, "little duckie," his hand shoots out to tickle the boy's neck, and Xie Lian has to tighten his hold to keep him from falling as he wiggles and laughs. "Take care. See you later."

He turns on his heel, leaves just as abruptly as he'd arrived, and Mu Qing bows his head politely and ruffles their son's hair, the gentle touch betraying the angry, pinched expression on his face, before he leaves as well. Xie Lian exhales once they're gone, shaking his head, and sets the child down. When he's free, he immediately zooms over to Hua Cheng and climbs into his lap, rearing his head back to peer up at him.

"Papa, can we go to the armory?" he asks.

"Oh, yes!" Xie Lian's eyes light up all of a sudden. "Can we?"

Hua Cheng chuckles. "Your Highness, what are you asking me for? You may do whatever you wish. I'll follow at your heels as I always do."

"And I'll follow at your heels," their son says, grinning up at Hua Cheng.

"Mn," Hua Cheng nods, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head, "that's why you're a duckling, after all."

"I'm not a duckling," the boy pouts.

"Oh, my apologies, how could I forget," Hua Cheng says, an air of mock-seriousness smoothing out his face. "I meant to say little beast."

"I'm not a beast either!"

As the two of them bicker, Xie Lian leans against the altar and watches, heart aching pitifully in his chest. They look so similar sitting together like this, even their facial expressions almost identical copies of one another, but every so often their son will flush with embarrassment and outrage, or his eyes will sparkle with gentle determination as he sets about tending to a bird with an injured wing during one of the evening walks, and Xie Lian will see himself there, too.

"He really does look like my son," he murmurs, smiling as he shakes his head.

Hua Cheng glances at him. "Gege, did you say something?"

Xie Lian waves a hand, pushing off of the altar.

"Just thinking out loud. Come, let's have lunch," he reaches out a hand, and their child is quick to snag it, his tiny fingers engulfed by Xie Lian's. "We'll head to the armory after."

Hua Cheng takes his other hand, the boy sandwiched between them, and they step out of the temple together, the hot sun streaking down golden-yellow, splattering light across their faces. As they leisurely stroll back to the manor, residents of Ghost City wave and cheer and call out to them, cooing over their Chengzhu's little lord. The small boy doesn't necessarily love the attention, but he's as used to it as Xie Lian is, now.

"By the way, duckie," Xie Lian begins, "your father could use some help with his calligraphy tomorrow. Would you like to be his teacher for the day?"

"Gege," Hua Cheng gasps, glancing over at him, "betrayed by my own husband. How appalling."

"Yes!" the boy jumps between them, his hands still locked firmly in theirs. The stern twinkle in his eye as he cranes his neck to look up at Hua Cheng is as familiar as it is endearing.

"I won't go easy on you just because you're my papa," he says.

Hua Cheng really does seem to try and beat back the smile working its way to his lips, but he succumbs to it in the end, anyway.

"I'll make sure to follow your lessons closely," he promises, free hand pressing two fingers over his heart. "So long as my little duckling isn't too cruel."

Their son only hmphs like he's considering it, then declares: "If you swing me, I'll be benevolent."

"Well done!" Xie Lian exclaims, a startled laugh tumbling out of his mouth at the child's clumsy pronunciation of 'benevolent.' "Where did you learn that word?"

"Feng Xin-gege taught me," he shrugs. "When we were practicing today, he and Qing-gege told me all about how you were a benevolent ruler who loved his people. They said you're a prince, like in the books you and papa read to me at night."

Xie Lian flushes, the tips of his ears growing warm. "They said that, did they…"

Hua Cheng looks delighted as he says, "It's technically true. His Highness is benevolent, and the Crown Prince of Xianle."

"Where is Xianle?" their child asks.

Xie Lian frowns, unsure of how to answer. His throat grows tight, a little thick, and he finds it difficult to swallow.

Hua Cheng swoops in to save him, saying, "It's a bit complicated to explain. We'll tell you about it when you're older. Now," he squeezes his tiny hand, "didn't you want to swing? Let's do it before I change my mind."

"Okay!" the boy exclaims, beaming as the questions in his round eyes are extinguished like a candle's flame beneath water. He stops walking, plants his feet firmly, and says, "I'm ready. I've grown so much, I'm sure my papas won't be able to lift me up this time."

Unbridled joy swoops through Xie Lian's belly wild as cattails blowing in the wind, and he shares a look with Hua Cheng, who smiles and nods once. The two of them wait a moment, let the anticipation build, and then hold tight to their son's hands, swinging him high, high between them, his feet kicking off the ground. His eyes squeeze shut, hair whipping his face as he grins.

"Again!" he chants.

So, they do it again, and once more, and then three additional times. Before long, they're swinging him up into the air every other step as they head back to Paradise Manor. Xie Lian's stamina is unrivaled by all except perhaps Hua Cheng, and so he merely smiles and swings higher when their son asks, lower when he doesn't. Hua Cheng's eye is shining with warmth beneath the scorching, mid-day sun, and he looks happy–glowy and resplendent–more so these days than he ever has. Xie Lian thinks he'd be content to do this forever, so long as it were always the three of them together.

When they arrive at the manor, Yin Yu is standing outside, directing some ghosts who are repairing a crack in one of the pillars. He nods to Hua Cheng and Xie Lian, murmurs a polite, "Lord Chengzhu, Your Highness," and then grunts as two little arms wrap around his legs, nearly knocking him off balance.

"Moon-gege, guess who's teaching papa calligraphy tomorrow?" their son asks, his head barely coming up to Yin Yu's thigh.

"Is it you?" Yin Yu answers, voice even.

The boy nods. "Uh-huh! He's going to be perfect by the time I'm finished with him."

Yin Yu's eyes go glossy and vacant like he's thinking about the writing hanging over the Gambler's Den, and he shakes his head, sighing low.

"You've got your work cut out for you. Are you up for the challenge?" he asks.

"Mn…yep. I think so."

Yin Yu nods. "Very good. If anyone can reform that unreadable chicken scratch, it's you."

Their child smiles, and Hua Cheng shoots Yin Yu a glare, arms crossed over his broad chest.

"Don't you have somewhere else to be?" he huffs. "Scram."

Yin Yu only bows his head and walks away in that steady, elegant gait of his, and once he's gone, their son sidles up to them once more, skipping as he bounds through the gardens. White petals catch his robes and billow through the air, and he looks, for a moment, to be caught in freshly fallen snow, even in the middle of this heatwave.

Hua Cheng leans over to say, lips grazing Xie Lian's ear, "He looks quite a bit like you did when you were younger, I'm sure."

Xie Lian's cheeks grow warm. "How would you know? When I was his age, San Lang wasn't even born yet."

Hua Cheng shrugs. "It's his mannerisms. They're just like yours, gege."

Xie Lian turns to watch their son for a while. He balances along the edge of the garden path, surprisingly graceful for a young child. His arms are balanced at his sides, and when he sees a ladybug crawling in his path, he gently scoops it up, helps it onto a flower, and continues on. But – the wild way his hair whips at the back of his neck, the sharp look in his eye as he concentrates on his steps; that's all Hua Cheng. It's odd, seeing a person full-up of the best of both of them. The feeling it evokes is nameless but strong, so much so that it is almost overwhelming.

"He looks quite a bit like you as well, San Lang," Xie Lian muses.

Hua Cheng hums. Says, smirking, "The heavens will be terrified of him when he ascends, if only because of the resemblance."

"You think he'll ascend?" Xie Lian asks, quiet.

"How could any child of yours not?" Hua Cheng says, brows raised. "Of course he'll ascend."

Xie Lian nods, makes to say something in return, but a little hand tugs at his pointer finger, demanding his attention.

"Lunch now?" the boy asks.

"Lunch now," Xie Lian confirms. "Go on ahead to the kitchen. We'll be right behind you."

"Okay," he says, and zooms off.

Xie Lian chuckles, shaking his head as he watches him go, disappearing around the corner. He's chattering with people along the way, greeting the servants working in the manor as he goes, and his voice, soft and sweet, echoes through the courtyard and carries along the breeze.

"That boy truly has boundless energy," Hua Cheng says, amused.

"Yes," Xie Lian agrees, laughing, and for some reason, his eyes begin to sting, blurring as they well with tears. Silly, he thinks to himself. What are you crying over?

"Gege," Hua Cheng grabs his hand, twining their fingers together, "even if our ungrateful son won't eat your Love for All Seasons stew, you'll still make it for me, won't you? This San Lang has been craving it all day."

Xie Lian lets out an embarrassing noise, tips of his ears red-hot as he flushes down to his neck. His tears dry up as quickly as they'd come. This cheeky husband of his.

"All right, all right, I'll make it for you," he grumbles. "Aren't you laying it on a bit thick?"

Hua Cheng frowns, bottom lip poking out just slightly; the makings of a pout.

"Of course not," he whines. "When have I ever been anything other than sincere with you?"

"Ah," Xie Lian sighs, blushing further, "I really can't take it when you make that face. I already said I'd make it for you, didn't I? You're so silly."

Hua Cheng beams, mutters a quiet, "gege is the best," tinged with the kind of absolute sincerity only he is capable of achieving, and Xie Lian squeezes his hand, so happy he could die.

And he thinks, mildly, that if he were to drop dead this very instant, he probably wouldn't even become a ghost. With the people he cares about most happy and well-loved, with Hua Cheng stroking his thumb across Xie Lian's knuckles soft as cloud-tail wisps, there is no resentment left in his body to tie him to this world.

At least, not when it is so easily dispersed by the wind, washed away by the tide of his family's bright, all-encompassing laughter.