Work Text:
POV Right after Charles feeds the Night Nurse to Angie
The only thought running through his head had been the overwhelming need to protect Edwin, to keep them from being ripped apart. The thought of Edwin having to relive the torture of hell while the night nurse poked around in his head, had entirely pushed him over the edge, only coming back to himself, after he had fed the woman to the sea monster. Heaving, Charles turned towards Edwin, barely registering the other two. He only had eyes for his best mate, needing desperately to make sure he was still with him.
There he was, whole and simply there, he sacked with relief. Only to feel something break inside when he saw Niko and Crystals take a collective step back, eying him with trepidation and something bordering on fear, pale and speechless. But before he could spiral and let loose all the words suddenly burning like acid in his throat, Edwin was running towards him, almost throwing himself at him. Capturing him in an all-encompassing hug, desperate and all too relieved. “Charles, Charles…”
Charles could do nothing else, but reciprocate, lifting his arms and press Edwin to his body like a lifeline in the storming sea, something he had always been for him, safe, since the moment Edwin had found him with the lamp in the attic. Since he had sat with a dying boy and read him detective stories, Edwin had been everything to him, his only light in the darkness.
Charles shuddered, tears slipping down his face, as his legs gave away underneath him. They sank down together, still in a desperate embrace, not letting go for a second. Edwin was trembling, even as he gave his best to sooth Charles, running a hand up and down his back, reassuring him of his presence. “You saved me, Charles,” he bit his lip, the last few minutes, the sheer panic, and sudden terror flashing before his eyes.
Charles tightened his arms even more, only turning his head to bury his face in Edwins neck, breathing in. As a ghost he was not able to smell Edwin´s scent but thank heavens touch amongst ghosts could be felt, because the feeling of Edwin´s hair tickle his cheek, burying his nose against his throat, having his arms tight around him, held unimaginable comfort for him.
Suddenly there was a shuffling sound behind them. Charles was immediately on high alert again, tensing, fully ready to put up arms again. He would destroy anyone who even so much as thought about separating them. He didn´t care what he would have to do to achieve this, acid churning in his gut at the violence he knew himself capable of. A stray thought of being just like his father was suppressed so quick it was barely there. But for Edwin, yes for Edwin he would do it. He could do anything for him. There had never been a moment when he had questioned that, he could become something he feared as long as it kept Edwin safe and by his side.
But as his head shot up, already in the motion of turning Edwin around and shielding him with his own body, it was only the girls. Crystal and Niko were awkwardly shuffling forward, not really meeting his eyes, well at least Crystal didn´t, Niko was spacing off like always, seemingly seeing through and at the same time into him. “Ähm, we will be going back to the apartment now. Sleep is really needed…,” she trailed off, unsure. “Yes, this has been quite exciting. But we will leave you two alone now, you seem to be happy being just the two of you,” Niko tagged on, whipping back and forth on her feet as she smiled.
In the end it was Edwin who answered. Even though he had been quite caught off guard by the sudden movement he appreciated it nonetheless and gave Charles a squeeze, wordlessly thanking him for always putting his safety first. “That does seem prudent. We will be joining you later.” With that Edwin saw the two of them as dismissed and turned all his attention back towards his partner, who had hadn´t relaxed in the slightest even as he identified the new threat as Crystal and Niko. He was almost a statue, only jerkily nodding at Edwin´s words, before burying his face back into his partners neck, shutting out everyone and everything else but the two of them.
Nodding to each other the girls made their way back to the butcher shop, quietly talking to each other.
Meanwhile, Edwin moved to slightly stretch his legs, or at least change position slightly, as the crumbled mess they had fallen into was really not comfortable, but Charles let out a whine so broken and full of panic when Edwin so much as tried to put a tiny bit of distance between them, that Edwin stilled immediately. “Shh, I am here. I am not going anywhere. I was merely trying to find a better position.” Wordless, while keeping his tight grip, Charles moved, sitting down properly on his butt, no longer kneeling, he simply pulled Edwin onto his lap. This way he could hide even better, his fingers still desperately boring into Edwin´s jacket, he began shaking again.
Edwin resigned himself to his place on Charles lap rather quickly, after all close contact with his Charles was always welcome, and it was not like anyone could see them currently and even if someone did, he did not care in the slightest right now. Charles mattered so much more. Softly rubbing up and down his arm, while pressing himself as close as possible, without melting into one, he wished he knew how to better comfort someone. A manual of some sort would be really helpful right now.
Tears were once more running down Charles face, as the words he had suppressed earlier, finally made their way out, stuttering and achingly raw: “I hate it… I hate…,” his breath hitched. “I can´t do anything. I can´t…stop you from… Fuck!”
Edwin gently, caressing his cheek, wiping the tears away, his glove long gone from his hand, skin meeting skin. Charles hastily reached up to keep the hand on his cheek, fearing it leaving, shuddering, and shaking.
“Charles, what is it that you hate? You protected us, protected me! You kept her from taking us. You were amazing. I do not know what she showed you earlier, but whatever it was, it is simply not true.” Before Edwin could keep going, Charles sharply shook his head.
“She…made she relive my whole fucking miserable life. Dragged me into all of the fucked up bits I’ve worked so fucking hard so ignore. Showed me just how messed up it was… I fucking died at 16! I hate that, I hate that I died, yet I can´t…”, he violently shook, pressing Edwin closer, afraid he would simply turn into smoke and disappear, “I can´t hate it, meeting you was the first time in my life I got to be truly happy, being with you…the last 30 years have been everything…”
Edwin´s eyes widened, tears rolling down his face as well, overwhelmed. “It is the same for me. Meeting you was truly a blessing, one I have often doubted I deserve, my very own miracle,” he whispered, soft as a gentle breeze.
Charles showed him a horribly wobbly smile, before he was plunged back into his memories, all the thoughts he had suppressed forcing their way to the surface. He felt like he would explode if he didn´t give them a voice immediately. “How is it possible that I’ve had such a fucked-up life, my afterlife is thousand times better?!,” his voice has a hysterical edge to it.
“I hate it! I hate how much I…,” the words burned, he wanted to shove them back down, didn´t want to hold them into the open, didn´t want to give Edwin any ideas, feared Edwin´s reaction…what if…what if…he agreed. But then Edwin gently rubbed circles on his back, concern plainly written on his face, and he startlingly remembered how Edwin had reacted just earlier. How Edwin´s reaction to his violence was to run to him and tackle him into a hug, no fear, no worry, no hesitation in the face of his anger and he was able to speak: “I fear I am just like my father,” he whispered throat rubbed raw.
Edwin forced himself to keep on rubbing his back, forced himself not to freeze and violently shake his head and instead listen to the end. “I couldn´t stop him beating the shit out of me and now…now I feel so fucking angry all the time…the Devlin house I couldn´t do anything at all to stop him from murdering his family over and over again… What if I become just like him!,” he almost screamed the last sentence, so much raw pain, only to go utterly quiet with the next question that Edwin had to strain his ears to hear him: “What if I hurt you with my anger?”
That he couldn´t let stand. Edwin refused, to keep on listening while Charles ripped himself apart. No!
“Charles Rowland! You are the best person I know, the best you hear me! There is no chance, no fucking chance-” he cursed, making sure to cup his cheeks to force eye contact while he said it, wanting, no needing Charles to see how much he meant it, how deep in his very bones he felt it, “-of you ever becoming like them. You are everything good, you will never become even remotely like your father, you will never even think of attempting something like in the Devlin house.” Edwin was shaking, Charles somehow steadier that him, he needed to get through to him. “We all have anger inside us, it matters how we express it. You have always used your anger to protect us, to protect me, just as you did earlier. You saved us.”
And then, because Edwin could sometimes read Charles too frighteningly well, he said exactly what Charles had feared to even voice: “You could never hurt me. You hear me, Charles, you will never hurt me! And you needn´t fear me ever being afraid of you, no matter what you will have to do to protect us, no matter how horrifying you find your actions, I swear I will never be frightened by you. I will always want you with me, will always want you close. That will never change. No matter what Charles!” That did it, Charles sobbed, relief so stark flooding his body he felt like melting, all the tension finally leaving his body. He buried his head underneath Edwin´s chin, shaking his head back and forth overwhelmed, even as he heaved.
Edwin merely held him, humming gently, rubbing his back and simply being there for him. Just as relieved to have gotten through to him for now, and he would repeat his words over and over again until they stuck and Charles himself believed them unconditionally. Even if it should take him an eternity, Edwin would make sure it happened.
They stayed there, cuddling on the ground next to the ocean for quite a while after, simply relishing in each other´s company. Basking in the fact that they were still together. For now the tears were dried, there was still a lot to talk about, especially as Edwin had yet to be open about the Cat King, but for now they had both been reassured. Their bond was even stronger than before. Nothing and no one would ever be able to tear them apart.
There is no distance
That cannot be covered
Over and over
You're not defenseless
I'll be your shelter
I'll be your armor
I hear you whisper underneath your breath
I hear your SOS, your SOS
I will send out an army to find you
In the middle of the darkest night
It's true, I will rescue you
I will never stop marching to reach you
In the middle of the hardest fight
It's true, I will rescue you