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He's not entirely sure when these feelings sprouted into fruition, but they’re definitely there. Ryuji can’t exactly pinpoint the exact moment but it was most likely the point of time after Ren’s and his first infiltration of Kamoshida's palace.
After the Phantom Thieves decide to stay together after successfully changing their first heart, Ryuji wants to be as devoted as he can to the thieves. Not only does he feel devotion, but there’s also a sense of loyalty there. More specifically, he feels this strong urge to be with Ren through everything. That’s where his feelings come in.
Weirdly enough, as time went on Ryuji’s loyalty to Ren has bloomed even further. Further than what he knew he was capable of feeling. He’s always been a passionate and dedicated person, always devoting himself to something. But his feelings with Ren are so much more complicated than that. He wants to be there for him through thick and thin, talk with him about every little thing in the world, and be there for him no matter what. This feeling of being loyal is normal for companionship. Ryuji understands that part but the other half he’s not so sure of.
Ryuji swings the door to LeBlanc open, making the bell ring through the mostly empty coffee shop. There’s rarely ever that many customers in here, not that he would tell Boss that. Sojiro looks in Ryuji's direction after hearing the door.
Immediately he knew what he was there for, “Ren should be down in a second” Ryuji nodded in acknowledgment and waited for Ren. Seconds later, Ren is down the stairs and standing right in front of the blond.
Oh wow. A thought runs through Ryuji's head. Has Ren always been this pretty? There’s nothing new or different, he’s just wearing his normal outfit when he goes out. Convincing himself to not think about it too hard before he gets confused, he smothers the thought and moves on. He may be able to resist his thoughts but he can’t stop his feelings. It’s here again, strong as ever—that sense of loyalty and something else.
The “something else” is what gets him frustrated. He can’t seem to completely understand and connect the dots of what feeling is mixed with his loyalty. He wants to be by Ren's side, sure, but he also wants him all to himself. It’s weird and confusing, why would he get jealous? He hates the feeling of being selfish and it’s not like him. This is why he knows this feeling isn’t jealousy, it’s so much more complicated than that. It’s like the feeling of friendship but heightened tenfold. It's loyalty and something else. Loyalty and…
“Ryuji, are you feeling well?”
“Oh sorry, yeah I’m fine. Just thinkin’” Ah shit. He totally got lost in his thoughts when he was trying not to. Now he feels bad for making Ren worried. Whatever he needs to move on and stop thinking over stupid things. Get it together, Ryuji!
Finally getting out of his head, he realizes they’re already at the station, not exactly sure when they got there. The train arrives mere moments later and they both hop on to get ramen together.
—-
After finishing their meal, they take a slow walk together probably to blow off some calories but they both know it's just an excuse to spend more time with each other. Seemingly out of nowhere, Ren suddenly murmurs to Ryuji, “I’m really glad I can call you my best friend.” He smiles softly and peers his head at his friend. Ryuji can feel his face start heating up, the contrasting pink in the dark night highlighting his face.
Instinctively Ryuji starts to joke, “Where’d all that sappy stuff come from?” Ryuji laughs quietly at his friend.
“No, I'm serious!” Ren defensively exclaims and chuckles back. He stops in his tracks and turns to face Ryuji. The blonde comes to a halt with him, twisting himself to face Ren. Oh wow. He is much closer than he thought he was. Just a few inches away from each other and fuck Ryuji is so screwed. The confusing feelings rush back like a tidal wave. Ren is so close to him right now, he might just burst.
Ren gently grasps Ryujis hands and takes them in his own. Ryuji can feel his blush creep up the back of his neck all the way to the tip of his ears. He’s not sure what’s happening but he doesn’t want it to stop. He wants to be even closer to him.
“I'm really happy that you’re my friend. You were the first person to treat me as I am when I transferred here, that means a lot to me.” Ryuji can hear and see very clearly that Ren is talking but his mind is running a mile a minute which is far too loud. One of Ren’s digits trails up to the blonde's face, caressing his cheek.
As soon as this registers for Ryuji, his brain asks himself if Ren is going to kiss him. To his own shock, he wants the answer to be yes.
“Of course, That’s just the way I am.” He manages to muster up. Ryuji really, really wants Ren to kiss him. He’s practically dangling it in front of his face. It’s tantalizing.
“I’m glad I met you, Ryuji” He gives him the sweetest smile he’s ever seen.
Stunned he almost forgets to respond,“…yeah” He’s begging for it now, it’s all he can think about. Unexpectedly, he catches himself and starts to contemplate what he’s really thinking here. Does he really want Ren to kiss him? It’s weird because there’s not a doubt in his mind that he does want to kiss him, but why?
Cutting off Ryuji's thoughts, Ren starts to lean in and the only thought on his mind is Ren. The black haired boy hesitantly rests his other hand on the back of Ryuji’s neck. Skeptically, he leans in just a bit closer, stopping before making any contact. Ryuji waits and waits until… nothing. Ren breaks off the contact and turns away.
“I think I should go.” Ren anxiously mumbles before taking off without any reply. Ryuji mouths wait but nothing comes out. He’s stiff as a board, still processing what happened. He couldn't help but wish Ren stayed.
—
Ryuji drags his feet across the floor and throws himself onto his bed face down. He can’t stop thinking about Ren. What's most frustrating is that those feelings in the moment weren’t new.
“Agh, this is so effing confusing!” Ryuji groaned into his pillow. He really did wish Ren kissed him. Does that mean…
Ryuji rolls over onto his back looking up at the ceiling, “Do I like Ren?” As soon as he said it out loud, everything started to click in place in his head. It makes a lot more sense and he’s not sure why he didn’t come to the conclusion earlier. He’s awful at keeping his mouth shut sometimes and he would hate to keep something from his best friend. He has to tell him.
Quickly, he snatches his phone and pulls up Ren’s contact. He sends a message telling him that they need to talk. Before he could even get a reply he shuts off his phone and dozes off for the night.
—
Ryuji hasn’t been more impatient since forever. He’s been restless all day trying to get some free time to talk to him. He couldn’t find him during lunch so now he has to wait until he’s out of his last class.
The last bell of the day rings and as soon as Ren exits the classroom, Ryuji drags him all the way to the school entrance.
“You’re in a hurry.” Ren pants after coming to a stop.
“I told you I wanted to talk!”
Fear floods Ren's eyes as they go wide, “Oh uhm listen I’m really sorry about th-“
“Wait, wait, don't apologize! I just wanted to say that I like you,” Blush quickly covers Ren's cheeks, “and I’d also really like it if we actually kissed this time but maybe somewhere more private, you know?” Ryuji murmurs more quietly just so Ren can hear. Ren glances around the area and grabs Ryuji’s hand before dashing to the nearby alleyway.
Ryuji catches on quickly and places both of his hands on the back of Ren's neck. While, Ren rests his on Ryuji’s cheeks. This time, Ren leans in without hesitation and Ryuji closes the distance. Ryuji thought that his first kiss would go a lot more differently than this and probably in a more… romantic area. But it was nice and warm. It felt like as soon as it started it stopped. He wouldn’t mind kissing Ren again.