Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Lloyd scowled, his rosy cheeks doing little to help his brave face,  but Kai knew he was cold. Shivering against the frigid winds, even with the hearth Kai had lit steadily crackling beside him. It was just a small flame – hardly even embers, really – but he couldn’t afford to let it get any bigger, or they’d surely be found. Having a fire at all was risky enough as it was, but it wasn't like they had a choice.

Kai heated the mug of tea in his hands. He made sure to wrap Lloyd’s hands in the blanket as protection before handing it over. Lloyd was steadily growing accustomed to the heat of Kai’s flames, but he still had a long way before he built up complete immunity. as the fire elemental had. The evidence: the burned nerve endings on Kai’s hands were still stark in contrast to Lloyd’s own soft, unweathered ones. The selfish, overbearing part of Kai wanted to keep it that way.

“W-Where are you g- g- going?” Lloyd asked through chattering teeth. 

Kai fastened the blanket tighter around his brother’s shoulders. His skin – pale, far too pale from the sun-tanned skin Kai once knew – looked sallow and gaunt in the dim lighting. 

“I’m leaving for the village,” Kai whispered, hugging him tightly to his chest, breathing in the sandalwood and wet earth of the workshop for one last time before he left. Somehow, even though they hadn’t bathed in weeks , Lloyd still managed to smell like home. 

“Let me come with you,” Lloyd pouted into his chest, weakly clasping his arms around Kai’s shoulders. His flushed cheek rubbed against the inside of Kai’s arm. “I promise I won’t slow you down!”

“I promise I won’t slow you down!”  

“No,”  Kai asserted, a bit too firmly than he should’ve. Feeling distant, he pressed a kiss to his brother’s rat nest of hair. It felt like coarse sand and dirt. “I need you to stay here and keep the fire going.”

“Aw come on, Kai, that’s bullshit and you know it!” Lloyd spat back, recoiling minutely. 

“Language,” Kai chided, on instinct. He had never really managed to get himself out of the habit, even though Lloyd had seen and done much worse.

Lloyd moved back just far enough to look Kai in the eyes. Burning, toxic green bore into him, cutting his very soul. “You never let me do anything .”

“It’s for your own good,” Kai snapped back. Too harsh. Lloyd didn’t deserve it. “Stay put,” he instructed, averting Lloyd’s gaze. He rose and snagged his satchel from the desk, careful to avoid the sprawl of the massive blanket on the ground.  When Lloyd was upset, he liked to catch Kai’s feet in the folds and rip it out from under him. 

Lloyd was silent, however. Kai took the quiet as an acknowledgement of defeat. He packed the last few granola bars into his bag before turning around.

Instead of sulking with his back to Kai as he usually did, Lloyd was glaring resolutely at him, tears in his eyes. He gripped the mismatch quilt close to his shoulders. 

Shadowed by the embers licking at his back, Lloyd looked much, much younger than the age Kai knew he was. If the fire master was deluded enough, he could even pretend this was normal behavior, from Before, and Lloyd was just pouting over something silly, like not being able to get the next edition of the Starfarer comics. 

Before the Green Ninja and the prophecies and realizing his full potential. Before everything went to shit.

It wasn’t fair. Kai bit back tears of his own. None of it would ever be normal again.

“Hey, kid, I won’t be gone long,” Kai said instead of crying. He slid back down beside his brother, snatching a frail hand from beneath the covers and gently wiping Lloyd’s tears with his other. He ignored how soft his brother’s cheek felt beneath his own calloused hands. 

Hands that could crush his little brother's skull before he even realized what was happening. It would be painless. He wouldn’t have to suffer anymore.

“Don’t go.” 

Kai felt sick to his stomach. Lloyd was much too trusting.

His brother’s large green eyes stared back at him, still angry, still sad. But beyond that, there was unwavering trust. Trust Kai didn’t deserve. Lloyd was much too good; how in hell did he end up with Kai? 

For the umpteenth time, he wished it had been anyone but him to survive. Cole, or Zane, or Jay, or Nya, or – hell, even Wu, the bastard– they would know what to do. They would give Lloyd the love and care he deserved. They wouldn’t have given up. 

When Kai was feeling particularly delusional, he thought he could pretend to be like them again. Sometimes, the world didn’t feel so crushing – maybe he could do this. He could pretend to be good. He could do the right thing. When he was with Lloyd, he could persuade himself that it hadn’t all gone horribly wrong. He had done the right thing. But his hands –covered in blood– could never convince anyone of their purity.

“Come on, don’t be such a killjoy!”   her voice whispered into his ear. Kai fought the full-body shudder that threatened to overtake him.

“I’ll be gone for about three days,” Kai continued, apathetic. His hands felt like static as he slid their last vial of dried Yomogi tea leaves into Lloyd’s hands. “This should last you until then. If I’m not back–”

“Yeah, yeah, use the tunnels,” Lloyd interrupted, turning away. His hand – small, sickly– gripped Kai’s with vice. In the past, that might’ve been enough to crush bone; now, it barely hurts. Kai tries not to think too much about what that means. 

The old Serpentine tunnels were risky, and filled with spiders and the remnant stragglers of the Rebellion. They often flooded, carrying bodies and whatever other debris lay beneath into the burnt remains of the city. Though they’d undergone countless collapses, cave-ins, and raids, Kai made sure to check at least once a month that there was still a way to get to their last resort. The dry spell meant even the lowest tunnels were bone dry— Kai was banking on that lasting, at least until he got back.

“You’re so smart,” Kai smiled, using his free hand to ruffle Lloyd’s gross, oily hair. When that didn’t get a reaction, he sighed and rose again. Time to go.

Feeling the movement, Lloyd cut all pretenses of being upset and grasped onto Kai’s arm. “Do you really have to go right now?”

Kai glanced at the light seeping in from the peephole above the staircase. It was getting dark out. “I’ve got to,” he sighed. He wasn’t certain who was more upset by this.

“L-Let me go with you,” Lloyd tried again, protesting weakly when Kai gently pushed him back down to the ground. “I- I can watch your back!”

“I don’t wanna fight with you about this, Lloyd.” It came out sounding more tired and fed-up than he intended. Kai closed his eyes. Prayed to whatever deity watching over him that he was doing the right thing. There had to be a deity – and it surely had to hate him. “You’re not coming with me.”

“Then don’t!” his little brother pleaded, struggling to get out from underneath his covers, despite how cold he was. “You don’t have to! I promise I can keep up!”

If he thought hard enough, Kai could pretend the tears threatening to spill over were from the dying embers getting smoke into his eye. He could pretend the air didn’t bite colder when he left Lloyd’s side and ascended the stairs. He could convince himself they were still on the Bounty and Lloyd was begging to join him and the others on a mission. He could convince himself things were going to be okay again in a matter of hours. He could ignore that things would never go back to being normal. This was it.

“Let me come with you!” Nya shouted in his ear. On instinct, Kai whipped around, searching for his kid sister. Waiting for her to show her face from behind one of the pillars. He could see her joining forces with Lloyd, ina futile bid to let them come with him. Something struck his heart when he realized – Nya would never beg to come along again.

“Lloyd, for the last time, no!” Kai didn’t shout, but it was a near thing. He reached the door at the top of the spiral staircase, pretending his little brother’s angry eyes didn’t cut into his back. A glance outside showed nothing out of the ordinary– the Treehorns remained dormant. That was good– it meant nobody had been peeping around where they shouldn’t. Nothing had been touched. “You’re not going. That’s it.”

“Why don’t you ever listen to me?” Lloyd cried. He wasn’t loud, barely above a whisper, but the sound echoed up the stairs all the same. Kai paused, his grip on the doorknob.

This kid was going to be the death of him. God, he couldn’t look. 

“I love you,” he confessed to the threshold, leaning his forehead against it. “I’ll be back soon.”

Kai thrust the door open, quickly forcing himself through and closing it sharply behind him– if he’d stayed even a moment longer, he might not have had the will to leave at all. 

He let the door slide shut quietly, though he doubted anyone was around to hear it. The wind buffeted his hair to and fro as he pulled up his hood.  It was weird, still, to not see red grace the edges of his vision as it had for so many years. Instead, Zane’s white gi wrapped around his mouth, to better camouflage himself against the stark white winterland that surrounded him. It had hurt, to forgo his signature red for something more practical, but ultimately, it was the least of the sacrifices he’d had to make thus far. That he still had to make. 

The trip to the village was a long one. Kai didn’t like the rising frequency with which he’d had to make the long and arduous trek to it – what had been once a month soon became once every two weeks. Now, it was a miracle if they lasted a week without having to leave the security of Dr. Julien’s oldworkshop. 

It shouldn’t have been a surprise. Lloyd was getting sicker. Kai was running out of time.

“Zane, you’d know what to do,” Kai muttered into the empty cold air, doubtful the sound even left the fabric of his mask. Bundled up tightly, he tried not to shiver against the cold. His abilities had always granted him a certain immunity against the chill, naturally burning a little hotter than his family. At one time, it meant he was crowded around during the winter on movie nights; Nya and Jay would sit together on one side, Lloyd and Cole on the other. Zane preferred to sit on the ground, less inclined to the heating element Kai provided, but close enough to fall into the inevitable dog pile that occurred when one of them started playing rough. The late nights were filled with hot cocoa and the latest episode of Starfarer: The Last Frontier . Kai never paid much attention to what was playing– he’d always been more invested in the people present. 

Sometimes, if he pretended hard enough, he could imagine they were still waiting to start the movie once he came back from patrol. He just had to get home, and they’d heat up some popcorn, and it would be okay again.

His natural affinity only served to prevent frostbite for himself, now. It seemed the winter was getting colder with every passing day. Zane would’ve loved it.

His robotic brother’s gi still smelled faintly of that weird cologne he liked to wear, despite the rest of the ninja’s insistence that no human would actually consider it normal. He didn’t care, he’d said. It reminded him of his father. 

Now, the smell was a comfort. If Kai closed his eyes and breathed just right, he could pretend Zane was still leading him through a guided meditation session. Still pushing him to rise up , to be better . Zane had always been the one with eyes on the future – on what could be. His future visions had saved their asses countless times. Maybe that was  why no one saw he’d be the first to go.

“Stop,” Kai told himself, eyes pricking. He’d like to say it was due to the harsh, biting wind whipping itself around him, but even Kai – impulsive, irrational, stupid Kai – couldn’t deceive himself of the truth.

Lloyd. Lloyd was counting on him. 

There wasn’t much for a sky to look at in the Birchwood Forest. Its proximity to the Glacier Barrens had always left it icy and somewhat desolate. Sound didn’t travel far, instead cushioned and absorbed by the soft powdery snow the forest was laden with. Its namesake trees stood tall and strong against the blizzard-like gales, with no leaves to mourn the loss of. It would be pretty, if Kai didn’t feel so alone. 

The permanent winter made it timeless – Kai hadn’t seen a ray of sun in weeks, if not months. It was one of the major contenders in his arguments with Lloyd; the boy argued he’d grow stronger if he was allowed to visit the village with Kai and feel the warm rays on his skin again. Kai didn’t have the heart to tell him the village was missing the sun, too. Everywhere was.

Slowly, night crept upon him. It provided a thick veil of darkness, further concealing him alongside the small blizzard drifting through. Kai had gotten lost enough times to know his way around the forest well, now, but that did nothing to dampen the fear of losing his way again. There was too much at stake not to be afraid.

“Laugh it up, Cole,” Kai muttered into the thin air, watching his breath cloud up in steam. Cole liked to say that he wasn’t afraid of anything, and to an extent, he always appeared like that was the case. But Kai knew Cole was scared, in the end. Not for himself – for them . What would they do without him? Kai still doesn’t know.

After Zane, they’d all tasted the bile of loss, the knowledge that they would never be whole again. The fragmented pieces of themselves stared back everywhere they went – the dojo, the barracks, the kitchen, the halls. Zane was everywhere . It was inescapable. 

Cole had always been steady for them in times of need. He laughed and baked shitty cakes and made sure they all slept soundly at night before climbing into his own bunk. He spent sleepless nights on the deck keeping vigil, candle lit while Kai was out picking the wrong fights, playing vigilante. They would nod to each other when he came back home, or the shell of a home anyway.  Always a little bit more bruised than some common thug would call for. 

Cole never asked any questions. He’d just beckoned his brother to the dining room table, away from prying eyes. He’d take Kai’s bruised knuckles into his larger-than-life hands –kinder, steadier  than Kai’s could ever be– and wrap them diligently, true to his role as surrogate medic. It used to be Zane’s, but– well.

Kai had thought himself slick at the time, lying through his teeth –something about training on the ground, falling down the mountain, things like that– but in hindsight, it was painfully obvious. But Cole never asked, ever the peacemaker, ever the heart,  and so Kai never told. Oh, what he would  give to talk to Cole one last time. Even if Kai had to tell him everything .

He shivered against the wind again. The blizzard only seemed to grow colder and meaner as he traveled. It was annoying to limit his powers, and downright constrictive not to light a small flame in his hands as a pocket-warmer. But beyond his fear of freezing to death was the fear of being found– and Kai didn’t know what he would do when that happened. 

Cry, maybe, the Jay in him offered. Burst into tears and sob long enough to barter for Lloyd’s life. 

“Not funny,” he spat. The Jay in his head was a lot meaner than the real one. But the real one was six feet under, and Kai had never claimed to be class clown.

The night soon grew so black and darkened that it was nigh impossible to see two steps in front of himself. Not even the moon was able to break through the dense fog. It was hard to find his way. But Kai knew – from experience, learned the hard way – that just up and to the left should be the cavern he usually camped out in for the day.

Typically, Kai liked to at least keep going until daybreak, covering the most ground under the veil of night, but it seemed that wasn’t an option. Not unless he wanted to accidentally fall down some kind of cliff.

He’d been slogging through the forest for a while now, anyway. Even his natural body heat wouldn’t be able to defend against frostbite in these elements – at least, not with how limited as they were now. Whatever the case, Kai knew he had to rest, even just for a moment. Every trip seemed to take longer and longer.

Above the whistling winds, Kai thought he could hear the telltale coning of wind against the boulders outlining the cave. A safe sound – it meant he was still on the right track. The small voice asking if he’d gotten lost again grew quieter.

Last time he got lost, he’d just barely found his way back and caught Lloyd before the boy disappeared down the Serpentine tunnels, trembling and tearful. They’d shared a long, grief-filled hug upon reuniting. Kai thanked his lucky stars he hadn’t been a moment later – there was no telling if he’d ever see Lloyd again once he disappeared down in those caverns. 

That was the point of using them as an escape route. There was no hope of pursuit once Lloyd went down there.

As Kai crept closer to the steep ledge, though, he began to doubt himself. He typically didn’t have to stop here until he was on his way back, to hide from sight until night fell again. Was it really the right choice to stop now?

He’d given Lloyd three days, that was already cutting it close. At this pace, he’d have to sprint the last couple hours on the way back to the workshop. There would be no telling whether he had enough energy for that, after getting into the tea shop. That in itself would be a monumental task. Especially after the stunt he pulled on his last visit.

Whatever. That was something later Kai could worry about. He could still hear Sensei Wu chastising him for putting things off, but didn’t have the heart to care. It wasn’t like Wu was here. Then things might actually be magically solved, since he was so perfect and everything. Hell, even Wu’s death had been perfect – sacrificing himself for the others to go on. What a hero. Their sensei hadn’t even stuck around long enough to see how far things had really fallen. Bastard.

Deep down, Kai knew he wasn’t being fair. Wu had given up a lot to keep the Rebellion going. Even though Kai hated him, he still held the fire master’s begrudging respect. After all, Sensei was the only reason Lloyd was still alive now. Abhorrently, Kai had to be grateful to him if but for that fact alone.

As he approached the mouth of the cave, though, something in the air changed. He crept along the lip of the entrance, peeking around the edge.

There was something distinctly unsettled about the small cavity where he usually stayed. Scorch marks on the stone, footprints at the entrance. A small blanket sat folded in the corner. Kai was meticulous in covering his tracks, hypervigilant not to lead any traces back to the workshop–  these were not his. 

Instantly, his guard went up once more. This person –or persons, more likely– had not bothered to hide their steps. And those not afraid of being caught were dangerous, no matter what affiliation their loyalties laid with. Fraught with shivers, Kai warily retreated back the way he came. Though the marks looked old– at least a day or so– he did not trust it. The last time he’d done that, they lost Cole. It wasn’t pretty.

Kicked out of his shelter for the storm, Kai was forced to keep trudging. There wasn’t another camp until he reached the village– if Kai wanted to get there in time, he’d have to pick up the pace. 

“Should’ve worn blue,” Kai could hear Jay laugh into his ear. “It’s a lucky color!”

“Oh, shut your trap,” he huffed into the cold, ignoring how the words fell to his feet. If there were other people around –and likely there weren’t, because not even the Stone Army was mobile enough to go out in this type of weather– the wind would’ve covered the sound of his voice. At least it was dark enough that letting out a little heat wouldn’t hurt.

When he was training with Wu, Kai was often trained to think that generating his fire required harnessing of the spark within him, to take a little bit of that flame and coax it into something bigger, grander than himself. Fire, Wu preached, had just as much power to create as it had to destroy. For all his shortcomings, the old man taught Kai how to nurture the small fledgling flames and transform them into something that could protect . Another thing to be resentfully grateful for. Perfect bastard.

What Wu failed to mention, however –or perhaps did not even realize, as he did not possess the element himself– was that the fire, that spark he’d so diligently taught Kai to harness, grew hungrier. After years of training and honing his skills, the monstrous, devouring spark inside him only grew.  Larger and larger – taking more and more – Kai soon learned that instead of nurturing it, he had to whittle it down to something that wouldn’t burn everything in its path. Instead of a river pooling to the ocean, it became a steadfast dam – Kai could only let controlled amounts slip through, lest he reap the consequences. It burned, sometimes, to hide it all inside himself. Five years would do that to anyone, he reasoned.

The small storm had transformed into something fiercer. The winds bit and tore just a little bit sharper each time they lapped at his face. With dogma, Kai plodded onward, unwilling to get any farther behind on schedule. The snow grew harder and harder to slog through, marshy beneath his feet. This only grew more difficult when he was forced to utilize his elemental powers in order to combat the heavy chill outside.

Kai missed his old gi. The insulation it provided was a given —what with needing to keep it from bursting into flames anytime Kai used his powers. Zane’s was thinner, nearly threadbare from the months of wear. It had clearly been well-loved by the time Kai could stomach donning it, and the robot never had much need for temperature regulation the same way Kai did, even if their elements were opposite temperamental extremes. 

Kai had thought it was weird, since he had always thought computers ran hot. Jay tried explaining it once, how Zane’s core was different, had other properties, but Kai didn’t really pay attention at the time. What he would give to hear Jay talk computers again. Kai would pay attention to every word.

Despite the natural protection against the cold, Kai knows the signs of frostbite when he feels them –or rather, doesn’t. The bitter chill has lapped at his fingertips for a while now, but now, Kai can hardly feel enough for the cold to seep into his bones.  There’s an easy solution to this: his internal fire burns bright, always has, but refrains for fear of being seen. Weather of this extreme would require a bit of combustion, a luxury he’s not sure he can grant. There’s irony in there somewhere, but Kai is too tired to care.

Eventually, he sloughs directly into another outcropping. The shout of an expletive is completely unnecessary and totally compromising, but Kai cannot be bothered to chastise himself for the slip-up. 

Though he’s not a hundred percent confident, Kai is satisfied with the progress made. Even though Cole or Zane could have gone on longer. At least now his stamina isn’t the weakest of them anymore, by default. Actually, he’s a bit of the de facto everything, now. Including worst brother.

He savors the few sips of water he grants himself – heated, thankfully, but nowhere near enough to quench his thirst, and attempts to dig at least some semblance of shelter from the storm. The snow snaps into his fingertips, hurts strong enough to do more than just sting, but Kai ignores it all in favor of casting a threadbare blanket over himself and seeking refuge in the confines behind his eyelids.

The sky is never truly light out, but it is less dark when he gets up a few hours later, feeling exhausted but infinitesimally less cold than the night previous. The meager respite his thinned blanket provided was enough cover to light a small fire in his hands during the worst of it, even though the inner flame raged to let out more. Kai thinks his powers weren’t nearly so unsettled when Nya was still alive.

From there, it’s only a short travel amidst the whiteout to make it to Jamanakai Village. Worn with time, the sleepy town is eerily quiet. It’s never been a hub for activity, but the lack of life will never not be unsettling. The perturbing stillness in the air makes the hair on the back of his neck prickle, and Kai’s mouth goes dry of its own accord. 

Unlike the main city, which had been reduced to ash and ruin during the worst of the war, Jamanakai Village remained completely unchanged. A testament standing against the weather of time, the only thing that truly showed its hand were the various propaganda posters, which stood out starkly in the bereft village square. Jamanakai had never been exactly teeming with life, but to see it barren like this will always leave an ashen taste in Kai’s mouth.

Fond memories of training near the village are shoved down in favor of sneaking through the square. Luckily for Kai, his destination isn’t far from the entrance.

Mystake’s Tea Shop had never been a favorite of Kai’s to visit, Before. It always smelled too strongly of different herbal blends, and made his nose itch nearly the entire time the team visited. Nya had liked to make  fun of him for his apparent ‘tea allergies’, but Kai had always privately thought it was the dust on the shelves that did him in. 

God. Kai misses his sister.

This time around, the tea shop is a welcome familiarity. Closing the door behind him, he feels himself relax, if only minutely. Mystake had always been someone Wu trusted, and by default, the rest of the team. This time, the shop reeks of floral scents, and there is a kettle steeping in the furnace behind the counter. Kai inhales deeply; black tea had always been a favorite of Zane’s.

“Mystake?” Kai calls softly, still alert. The shop had been a much-need blessing with Lloyd so sick, but it was far from a safe haven. Not when the Army still made regular patrols through the area. Still rooting out the last of the resistance. 

Kai bites back a scoff at the thought. The resistance has been long dead, now.

“I’m still alive, boy!” Mystake calls from somewhere Kai can’t see. Shortly after, there’s a loud bang and the sound of boxes shuffling. Kai would rush to help if he could find the energy within himself to do so. As it is, he hasn’t got any to spare – already the thought of collapsing into the covers back home has sleep tugging mercilessly at his eyelids.

A few moments later, Mystake appears. When she sees who it is, she does nothing but take a long, hard look at his masked face before turning back around. Kai isn’t ruffled. He’s been coming here long enough to know the song and dance by heart.

“You are not White,” Mystake asserts when she returns, the precious glass of tea leaves in hand. “Why are you pretending to be him?”

As always, Mystake asks this, and as always, Kai elects not to speak. The old herbalist was truly a saint with all she’d done for them, but there were some secrets best kept among the dead. Maybe a part of Kai didn’t want to tell her the sad truth. Maybe he just didn’t want to admit it to himself.

“You come here too often,” Mystake says when it’s clear Kai won’t give an answer. She doesn’t pass the vial over just yet; instead, she reaches for the pot still cooling in the furnace and pours a cup. Her gnarled hands don’t seem to mind the scalding heat when she passes it over to him.

The smell of black tea doesn’t make Kai immediately gag, but it’s a close thing. He closes his eyes and counts to three, just as Zane taught him to. Feels the earth beneath his feet, the energy in the air, as Cole liked to preach. Thinks of his happy place, back home with Lloyd. Grounding himself.

It seems even in death, Kai cannot escape his brothers’ teachings. It’s a way to feel more connected with them, even from the afterlife, but it also serves to remind him just how much distance there truly is. Of course, Kai lived. He didn’t deserve to be spared seeing the world fall apart.

As Kai looks down at the drink in his hands and swirls it idly, Mystake continues. “They come here  too much now. You can’t come here any more,” the words aren’t said harshly, but they’re spoken quickly. Like they burn her to have them in her mouth. 

Panic rises in Kai’s throat. The vial, as Mystake passes it over, is not going to last more than week, two if Kai really stretches it. Even used sparingly, Kai cannot help the fact that it is medicine Lloyd needs, and despite himself he feels the world go numb. Barely registers the muttered, “I understand,” as it passed his lips. 

“Not my choice,” Mystake asserts gruffly. Kai wonders why – it’s not like she has to defend herself to him . 

“Tell me where you get yours, at least,” he musters, when his body finally stops being paralyzed. Desperation threatens to cloud his logic. “ Please .”

Mystake sniffs. She glances to the window, which Kai knows is shuttered. No one’s there. He would have felt their presence if they were. 

The old hag looks nervous, and the paranoid feeling only grows with each passing second. Again, she glances at the window. Again, no one’s there. Hushed, like a secret: “Torchfire Mountain. There is an old monk who grows them.”

Torchfire Mountain is days away from here. Kai’s mouth presses into a thin line. It’ll have to do.

Gratefully, he dips his head, not trusting himself to speak. Mystake is a saint for dealing with him as long as she has already. 

“That brat needs to get well soon,” Mystake comments chastisingly, just as Kai works up the nerve to down his cup of tea in one go. “You take good care of him.”

Something like fondness fills his mouth instead of words. Mystake has always been a very lonely, sharp woman. She holds sympathy for no one, despises pity. Kai likes that she doesn’t look at him and notice a man who he isn’t. It’s a freedom he hasn’t felt in a long, long time.

If he could remember more of his mother, he likes to think she would have been like Mystake; probably ancient by now, but with good humor. Gentle but firm. Protective. 

Everything Kai isn’t.

“Thank you,” Kai says, feeling bashful. The gi, tailored for a different body, itched uncomfortably against his skin. He slides over coin for the tea and makes to leave.

A presence outside the shop. Kai moves before he can think.

Kai is lucky his exhaustion hasn’t muddied his instincts – on principle, he dashes behind one of the many dusty shelves and forces his breath to steady. Though his heart is thudding in his ears, he can make out the weird, garbled language of the Stone Army sentries. It’s loud, and right outside the shuttered window. 

Quietly, Kai berates himself; if he was paying more attention, he wouldn’t have been so caught off guard. Wu always liked to pick on him for being scatterbrained. He has to wonder if the guys are laughing it up right now in ninja heaven, or wherever the hell it is they went. 

The thought saddens him. He hopes Jay finally got to take Nya on a proper date up there.

Luckily, the stone soldiers move along, but not before Kai has sweat out the meager portion of water he’d allowed himself earlier. The air is very still, electric. Jay would make a quip about his elemental powers; Kai just bites the inside of his cheek.

Kai waits a bit longer before making his getaway, careful not to let the bell on the door jingle. He briefly entertains the thought of taking the older lady with him, to hide away at the workshop with him and Lloyd.

Maybe, if he were Nya, whose heart was much kinder, he would. But he was Kai. And Lloyd came first above all else.

Sneaking back out the way he came is a piece of cake. Kai almost wishes it was harder, if but to keep his mind from wandering. Wu would be disappointed.

Whatever. Mystake wasn’t his problem. He couldn’t afford to care about her when he had Lloyd to watch out for. He couldn’t get distracted. He’d promised .

“Ha!” Jay’s voice laughed crudely into his ear. Kai suppresses a flinch, continuing on his way. “The one time Kai actually keeps a promise!”

Maybe, if he’d had the energy to respond, Kai would snark something back – he and Jay had always had a sort of friendly bantering style, Before. They’d all loved to rib each other for small things like that. He ignored the searing feeling burning behind his eyelids when he realized it would never happen again. 

What little light there is in the sky reflects back from the surface of the snow, glimmering far too brightly for his eyes to be comfortable. Kai blinks against the irritant and tries to squint through it the best he can. 

The vial of tea is a heavy weight on his shoulders. Kai gets walking.

Every once in a while, Wu would take the team out to enjoy Mystake’s special candy tea and have a day to themselves in the village. Back in the day, despite being such a sleepy town, Jamanakai threw many celebrations during the year. The ninja were only allowed to partake in a handful of them during Kai’s training – before everything went so horribly wrong – but the memories remain fond still. Selfishly, Kai wishes he could have a taste of that carefreeness again.

There was one special occasion – and Kai remembers it with such clarity, even though things from Before are a little hazy now – where Wu, perhaps feeling especially generous, allowed the Ninja to stay the night at the village onsen. 

None of them had ever been to one before, and took full advantage of the village’s gratitude during their stay. The massages were heavenly, and the dinner had been fantastic. Zane was a great cook, but it felt nice to be catered to, for once, instead of taking on the burden themselves. 

Lloyd, hyper on candied tea and other sweets the hotel gave him, had been adamant that Kai give him a piggyback ride. 

It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence; Kai was happy to oblige. He lowered himself to the edge of one of the beds as his brother jumped on, feeling content. They messed around for a while, and even convinced Jay and Cole into a game of chicken in the hot spring. Things only took a downturn when Kai made to get out, with Lloyd still on his shoulders. 

“Perhaps that is not wise, Kai,” Zane suggested from his ice bath. Everyone looked to him questioningly. He had a towel over his eyes, how did he–? “The edge of the pool may be slippery.”

“Yeah, it is very slippery,” Kai mocked, jostling Lloyd above his shoulders playfully and adjusting his swim trunks. “Oh boy, I sure hope I don’t fall!”

“I sense you are not taking me seriously,” Zane shared. Cole and Jay, still in Chicken formation, snickered quietly.

“It’s fine, Zane,” Lloyd assured happily. He patted Kai’s sopping wet hair. “Kai would never let me get hurt!”

The edge of the spring was adorned with many ornate vases and statues. One, Kai recognized from old stories as an Oni, crooked teeth and all. It, along with its twin, lay at the topmost step, only slightly submerged in the scalding water. Curved horns jutted out sharply from the top.

He’d thought nothing of it when he climbed out. So sure Zane was just being overzealously cautious. But the traction beneath his foot disappeared, and Kai slid backward.

Perhaps, if it was just him, there might’ve been a chance at recovery. Kai certainly had the upper body strength to turn the odds back in his favor, but Lloyd, still on his shoulders, threw everything off-kilter. They went down with a crash.

At first, there was black. And then, a pounding in his skull so fierce, Kai was sure it was going to cave beneath the pressure. Annoyed, he blinked and tried to find the source of the pain.

“Kai!” Jay’s high-pitched voice broke painfully through the warbled barrier, and instantly, he knew there was something wrong.  

Shooting upward, Kai collided with something hard – Zane, whose nose should have broken if he was human – and recoiled instantly, groaning.

“Wha–?” he warbled, unsure what he was exactly asking.

“It appears you have a concussion,” Zane supplied helpfully, a wrapped chunk of ice in his hand. He placed it gently in Kai’s free hand as the fire master nursed his aching head with the other. “You and Lloyd took quite the fall.”

If his first wave of panic was intense, it was nothing compared to the kind that struck itself anew at the mention of his brother. “Lloyd?!”

Cole pinned Kai’s leg to the floor before he could get any more clever ideas. “Relax, idiot, he woke up a few minutes ago.”

“How long have I–”

“Yeah, thank the First Spinjitzu Master he did though, cause that was bad! ” Jay interjected, a nervous wreck.

“Did he–”

 “He missed that statue by, like, an inch! ”

“He’s okay?!” Kai shouted, unable to control his volume. The looks he received were not reassuring.

“Well…” Cole began.

“His condition is not optimal,” Zane informed. His icy stare looked to be calculating something. “Though it was unintentional, your fall could have devastating consequences.”

“Devastating?” Kai felt his dinner turn over in his stomach.  “I didn’t mean to–”

“Nobody’s blaming you–” Jay began, before Cole cut in.

“He hit his head pretty hard, man,” the earth ninja admitted. He didn’t meet Kai’s eyes. “It’s stopped now, but it was bleeding.”

“How long have I been out?” Kai asked, fighting the panic rising in his chest. His eyes searched the room for his youngest brother, terror climbing in his throat. 

“Half an hour,” Jay answered. “Ish.”

“But the statue didn’t get him?” 

“No,” Zane intervened. Matter-of-factly, and without feeling.  “But the stairs were hard enough to do plenty of damage on their own.”

“Well, where is he now?” Kai asked, glancing around. He was still on the wet concrete beside the spring. The slick surface beneath him starts to steam, causing Jay and Cole to both take a few nervous steps back. 

“Not to worry, Kai. Sensei Wu is attending to his injuries,” Zane informs. His face curves into a smile, just this side of natural. “I do believe he is in good hands now.”

Kai knows Sensei Wu is the logical person to go to when someone on the team is injured, perfectly capable of handling any sort of boo-boos or ouchies the big bad ninja receive while on the field. Still, something like fear curls itself into his gut, and finds from experience that it won’t settle until he can see the boy for himself. Nya might say something about being a helicopter sibling; Kai preferred ‘concerned older brother’ instead.

Kai pauses in the threshold to take in the scene. Noticeably, there is blood on the finely detailed carpet of the room. Lloyd, sat on the bed with his hands in his lap, like a scorned child, while Wu is gently wiping the blood from the young boy’s forehead. Neither Sensei nor his brother  bother to look up when Kai enters; not that he was expecting a greeting.

“Is he okay?” Kai asks instead of formality. Wu preferred when his students bowed in greeting, but Kai can’t be bothered with that right now. 

“I’m okay!” Lloyd supplies helpfully, but if Kai knows anything about younger siblings, it's their capacity to lie through their teeth about this sort of thing –not that Kai can really say anything in that department. All the same, he waits for the Master’s response.

“He will recover just fine, I think,” Wu answers without inflection. He finishes dabbing Lloyd’s face and stands. “I think I’d like to hear from you what happened.”

“Later?” Kai nearly begs. As it is, his head is pounding, and Lloyd is looking lonelier and lonelier all by himself on the bed with every passing second Kai doesn’t check him over.

Wu’s eyes don’t necessarily squint, but they do grow cutting. “Perhaps, some rest is in order first,” he acquiesces, and Kai could nearly cry from relief. He didn’t particularly feel like laying out all his shortcomings to his Sensei while his brain was still foggy.

“Thank you, Sensei.”

The wizened old man sends an unreadable look in Kai's direction as he passes out the door, but Kai only has eyes for Lloyd. Lloyd, holding an ice pack to the back of his head and picking at bandaids on his arm with the other. His face, looking down at his lap, is hidden from view.

“How are you feeling, bud?” Kai feels compelled to ask, even though he knows the answer.

“Like shit,” Lloyd complains. He turns to look his older brother in the face, and Kai’s burning remark to reprimand the boy for his language turns to ash on his tongue. Now in full light, Kai can see the smears of blood all over his brother’s face, the blonde streaks of hair stained sickening red.  “I can’t believe they’re fussing so much about— ….Kai?”

Reading the expression on Kai’s face, Lloyd quickly hides his face again, but the damage is done. Feeling dizzy, Kai pushes his brother’s face back into the light, gently nudging the ice pack away from his forehead. Dinner threatens to make an appearance at the sight of bloodied, slightly coagulated stitches.  Six of them, neatly tied.

“Don’t worry about it,” Lloyd grins, pupils just a little too wide for sobriety. He raps the side of his own head, trying to prove something. “I don’t even feel it!”

Abruptly, Kai turns, and throws up. 

The memory still sits clear as day even years later, a sour taste in Kai’s gut. It had been a simple mistake – he wasn’t so self-loathing as to believe it couldn’t happen to anyone else, but it still stood that Kai had been the one to be reckless, Kai had been the one to put Lloyd’s life at risk. He’s come to an unsteady forgiveness of his past self for it – after all, Kai had been a child, too – but it sears itself to the back of his eyelids regardless. A reminder. A warning.

Lloyd still has the scar from it.

Things are looking up. The pale gray of his gi blends in seamlessly with the surroundings, as Kai intended, and provides excellent cover from the bitter, chilly winds that still whip around him fiercely. It’s nothing compared to the haunting blizzard of the night before, but it's cold enough to nip at the small bit of his face that remains exposed, forcing him to squint and burrow his face deeper into the hood. 

Not for the first time, Kai wishes Zane were here, to tell him what to do, or Jay, to lighten the mood. Cole, to listen to him rant, and above all Nya, who always understood him despite his many shortcomings. Even Wu’s presence would be welcome at this point, and Kai hates Wu. Or wants to, anyway.

Lost in thought, Kai barely misses the subtle creaking sound over the rest of the wind. Safely back into mountain territory, he’d almost forgotten to take into account the Treehorns. It’s easier to travel when it’s dark and the massive hunks of wood can’t see, which is why Kai usually prefers to leave and return at nighttime. In this case, however,  its broad daylight, and the white gi he’s wearing is good at camouflaging him, but not against predators that have adapted senses to beat the obvious eyesight disadvantage.

The aspen tree beside him starts moving. 

Scrambling forward, Kai narrowly avoids the massive leg of the beast and tries to find cover. But it’s not easy – in his rumination, he's strayed from the jagged peaks – and therefore, cover – he’d been following, and finds himself stuck on one side of a Treehorn herd with safety on the other. Shit.

It’s not like Kai is helpless – the fire still burns bright within him, but to say he’s apprehensive about using his powers in this situation is an understatement. There has to be another way to escape them, without wearing a big red sign that says FIRE NINJA HERE on it.

Something like trepidation fills Kai’s veins. The Treehorns, while generally pretty docile, have always been an issue for the ninja – in part because of their lack of exposure to the creatures, and also because it’s impossible to tell just where they’ll be coming from. Their tree-patterned legs were developed to be passed over by the observant eye. They mainly lay in wait to trap their prey between their stocky bodies, and Kai’s just found himself in the middle of an ambush. 

Were he as observant as Zane, this would’ve never happened. Strong as Cole, and he’d manage bowling these things over just fine. Jay, he’d probably figure something clever out. Nya, she’d use her water powers to freeze the things in place. But as it is, Kai isn’t any of them. Doesn’t even get to share death with them. Kai is just Kai. And a Kai without his fire isn’t much of a ninja at all.

Another quick dodge to the left leaves him breathless, but there’s no time to recoup. Another spindly leg swings toward him, and in his haste to escape he leaps directly into the path of another. The massive, boney knees of the creature sucker-punches him in the gut, taking all his breath with it. Dizzyingly, he flies through the air and crashes into the hard-packed perma snow that lay just beneath the surface. Something hot runs down his neck.

If Jay was here, he’d say it was the world’s greatest game of soccer. Kai huffs a steamy laugh into the air, wishing the humor made him feel even the slightest bit lighter. But everything is always so heavy .

Rolling into the powdery turf, Kai struggles to get up. His body, exhausted from travel and weak from malnutrition, threatens to give out beneath him as he crawls to his hands and knees hastily. Kai spits up blood and watches, transfixed, as  the liquid boils through the snow.

His moment of inattentiveness only sabotages his efforts – just as Kai manages to keep a steady arm beneath himself, another massive branch nearly tramples him. The rocks beneath cut into his back through the thin material of the gi, an uncomfortable prickle but a welcome distraction from the pounding headache that threatens to overtake.

Feeling dizzy, he forces himself upright, grasping at straws to come up with any sort of plan. The Treehorns have always provided a safe cover from danger, back at the workshop, but he’s finding himself hating the gargantuan things with every passing second he has to waste making sure he doesn’t get kicked to death, or worse— trampled.

Swerving from the path of another fatal blow, Kai forces the fire boiling in his gut to simmer. There is no place for fire outside the workshop. Kai knows this, he knows , but it burns through his stomach all the same. Begging to be let out. Yearning for freedom.

Ignoring his self-preservation instincts, he bolts for the alluring cover the jagged peaks provide. Kai knows it's not a smart move to just go in all brunt-force without the strength to back it up, but panic is climbing its way through his throat, threatening to choke him should he spend another tortured second trying to get away from the Treehorns. Kai’s not Zane; he can’t beat these things.

Choking, his body is abruptly caught on another spindly limb and sent sailing forward  into the rocky bluff. His ears start ringing. He probably hit his head. Blood, hot and sticky, trails down his fingertips.

For a moment, the cold stone feels nice against his skin, a cool relief from the sweltering magma in his veins. Against the alarm bells ringing in his head, Kai leans against it, eyes fluttering shut. He never even sees the next swing coming.

Again, the branch-like leg comes into contact, this time with his head. The force is enough to send him skidding into the snow, a bloody smear in his wake. There’s the distinct sound of bone snapping as the friction catches up with the rest of his body. Kai coughs up blood. 

It takes entirely too much effort to blink one of his eyes open. The other – gunked up with blood and dirt – squints shut in pain. He presses a cold hand against it, attempting to gain his bearings. 

Escape should be easy. Kai is light, thin, and nothing if not filled with determination. He should be able to find cover in the jagged peaks, he should be able to make it to them without struggle. Were he Cole or Zane or any other member of the team, he would have been able to push through his pain and just do it. But for some reason, his body just— doesn’t.

This time, he sees the blow coming, but can’t manage to duck out of the way in time. He sails through the air, briefly weightless— the ground crashes into him with the loud, crunching sound that accompanies the breaking of his nose, lower jaw slamming shut with enough force to make him nauseous. 

Screaming in pain— or anger, or fear— Kai can’t help but cover his face with his freezing, numb hands. It hurts, god, it hurts — and Kai just wants to lay down and never get back up again.

He should be scared right now. He knows he should be scared because his arms are shaking and his hands are threading themselves into the pockets of his gi like it’s the only thing keeping them attached to his wrists. He should be terrified . 

Flame licks at his ribcage. Let me out, it pleads, coaxing like a good night’s slumber. I’ll protect you .

Kai is tempted. Things would go so much easier if he could level the playing ground a little bit. He should refuse.

Lloyd’s scared face flashes in his vision. Lloyd after losing Wu, Zane Cole, Nya, Jay— Kai can’t do it to him again. He can’t. 

And worse— without Kai, there is no one else. Lloyd would be alone .

The fire burst from his chest without even thinking about it. It feels like second nature to let the flames crawl up his skin, curious, hungry. He used to be afraid of his fire. Now he’s afraid of what might happen if he isn’t. 

The resurgence of energy is like returning a limb he never knew he’d lost. The flame, eager to please, flares from his fingertips at even the slightest suggestion. In the snow, it thrives, scorching the ground beneath, devouring as it crept and crept and crept. The air, laden with snow, dries quickly. Treehorns, approaching for the killing blow, burst into flame. Kai’s never heard them scream in pain before.

The wood hisses as it creaks and crumbles around him, forest and creature burning alike. The blaze grows hotter, rising higher, but Kai doesn’t feel it, not really. The air has gotten thinner. The inferno inside him rages like a dragon allowed to spread its wings. It consumes everything around him.

But as even as it devours, Kai can feel himself waning. His blood, evaporating from his skin, steams in contact with the charred ground. His eyes grow heavy, his chest begins to scream with something other than pure instinct. Dizzy, he tries to right himself as the world grows off-kilter. The blood on his hands come away redder than he remembers it ever being, but it’s hard to tell detail with his eyesight going blurry. 

It takes nearly all of his energy to drag himself over to and lean against the sheer face of rock he’d attempted so desperately to reach earlier. He can still sense the fire crackling in the trees surrounding, but his fuddled brain hardly notices. The sound of air hissing from the wood becomes background noise, muddied and garbled. 

Leaning against the rock, Kai inhales through his teeth as his very broken ribs jostle, shredding a piece of fabric from his blackened gi to try and staunch the bleeding on his forehead. It does little to help him see better, and there’s blood trickling out from other places, but it’s the most he can bring himself to do before unconsciousness overtakes him. 

The world grows spotty when he forces himself to take a deep breath, the last vestiges of adrenaline evaporating into thin air. Kai should be more scared than he feels. His blood still boils on his fingers.

As long as he ignores that it’s his blood vaporizing, the steam almost looks pretty.  It’s pretty, but not as pretty as Nya’s face lighting up when an invention worked correctly. 

Nya. Kai misses his sister.

He closes his eyes and does not open them for a very long time.

Kai wakes to the sound of voices. The world is tinny and distant, but the warbled sounds grow sharper as the fog over his brain rescinds. It’s purely on well-honed instinct that he manages to swallow a cry of pain when he tries to shift upright, the unbearably sharp sensation of his broken rib jostling is nearly enough to make him faint once more. Black spots cloud his vision like a fast-growing mold.

Carefully, breathing deeply, Kai tries to get his brain to focus. There are voices nearby. He’s not alone.

The calcined ground stares accusingly back at him, the singed arms of his gi reveal far too much; the exposure of his tattooed arms only seals the deal. Kai has to get out of here, now .

Scrabbling for decent cover is easier said than done— he struggles to rip another piece of precious fabric from the gi, stuffing it into his mouth and muffling the pained sounds movement elicits. Still, though, — miraculously — he manages to stay quiet enough that the voices nearby don’t seem to notice.

There’s a terrifying second as boots crunch on charred wood and Kai pulls himself tighter into the crevice he’s chosen; unsure whether the pause in conversation is because the individuals have noticed the carnage, or worse— the perpetrator. His bruised lungs take in a painful breath and refuse to let go. The world is still for longer than it should be.

“Jesus, what a mess,” one of the voices says, finally. Kai lets out a slow, agonizing breath. “What the fuck happened here?”

“Why the hell do you think I’d know?” says the other, a bit older sounding. A bit gruffer. Their boots hide no sound as they move further into the blast radius. 

One of them kicks a blackened, scorched chip of wood with abandon. “Somebody with a vendetta against trees?”

Boots Two grunts out an exasperated huff. “More like, there was a fight, maybe. And somebody won .”

“How do you figure that?” Boots One demands. Their boots scuff at the ground wantonly. There is a bit of a pause, maybe they’re looking at the carnage of the dead Treehorns. “Think nobody won here. What’s the big problem, anyway?”

Someone huffs. It’s full of exasperation and maybe defeat. Kai knows the feelings well. “There’s still stragglers, dipshit. Nobody says nothin’ bout it on account of the empire bein’ so obsessed with its image, but I don’t think them Ninja are as dead as they say.”

Kai bites a hiss behind his clenched teeth. The voices are getting closer, bolder. He probably has a minute, tops, before they find his hiding spot and the gig is up. 

Boots one guffaws. Their feet crunch on blackened gravel just in front of him. “You’re full of shit, Zhao.”

Shifting even minutely sends searing hot fire up his sides, and not the kind Kai can control. The broken rib threatens to make him cry out even against the fabric stuffed into his mouth. The conversation happening in front of him may just be loud enough to cover his erratic breath.

“If I’m full of it, what are you? Overflowing?” They pause their walking for the sound of a muted, blunt thud to echo across the area. Kai flinches on instinct. They’re upon him now. “Shut your bitchass up.”

Taking a deep breath, Kai moves as quickly as he can without upsetting his injuries. He has the element of surprise– and he makes sure to utilize it. The two soldiers are expecting nothing to be around, a wild animal at best. A scared villager, if they’re paranoid. But they would never think of a ninja .

Kai is quick to lunge for their throats, very aware of the muskets still attached to their hips. He kicks the knee of Boots Two inward and, in the same motion, tears the gun out of its holster, butting it to the man’s temple. Glancing at Boots One, he raises the musket and presses it there, just in case. Rifles are meant for more distance between enemies, but anything at point blank gets the job done well enough. It’ll be a bitch to clean out of Zane’s gi, though.

Kai jostles Boots Two a little. Boots One, if he were seasoned, would know to react fast, and react quickly. But he’s clearly green, and young-faced, and no matter what side of the war they’re on, Garmadon’s cronies still have hearts.

“Here’s the deal,” Kai asserts, trying not to show weakness. The stitch in his side has only grown louder the longer he stands, and he’s already in pretty rough shape. Blood from the cut on his forehead gushes over his bad eye, fogging it even worse. 

Despite this, Kai tries to look menacing. He bares his teeth and cocks his head, standing proud. “You put your little toy down–” he jostles the unconscious commander, “-- and your partner here lives. Shoot, and you’ll regret it.”

“I-I’m not scared of you!” says the kid. Kai feels a little bit bad about threatening someone so clearly out of their depth. But at some point, this kid had chosen his allegiance, and Kai had chosen his. There is no winner in wars, as Wu liked to say.

“You should be,” Kai breathes, and moves . He drops the deadweight soldier to the ground, strafing to the side before the kid even has time to react. Disarming him should be easy, Kai has done this in training and in the field a million times before. 

Agony like Kai has never known before bursts forth in his skull. The world goes blurry as he stumbles to the side, attempting to get out of range. The kid’s nervous gun follows his movements, slower than Kai, too slow , but Kai can’t seem to get away from it– one shot rings out into the cold, still air, then two. The ground beneath his feet tilts, and his vision splits between bright white and spotty black. Kai doesn’t know where the kid is, now – just that he’s headed down, down, down.

Falling to his knees, and then his hands, Kai struggles to right himself. The danger of being shot is palpable within the blood rushing through his ears, the adrenaline forcing him to act even when his body cannot keep up. His hands, at last, give up on him, and Kai collapses unceremoniously to the ground.

His vision blackens for one second, then two – fighting nausea, he scrambles to get back up. All struggles are halted, however, when the barrel of the musket is suddenly jutted into his face, the cold metal bearing its angry maw. 

This is it, Kai thinks. I’m finally joining the rest of my family . 

He thinks he can be at peace with that. It’s what he’s wanted for as long as he can remember. Sorry, Lloyd .

...Lloyd!

The fire within him surges forward, crawling beyond his aching chest, along his scorched arms, farther than his trembling fingertips – it’s not on purpose, because nothing Kai ever does is purposeful, but the overwhelming desire to stay alive burns through him hotter than the most searing coals. Like a furnace in his gut, the gaping maw of the inferno only grows larger, hungrier, thirstier. Insatiably, it devours everything except him.

Then, as quickly as it had come, the flame dies. It does not linger, or smoke, or char like it had the first go around. This time, it had a goal, and one goal only. Kai springs backward to put some distance between himself and the burned corpse in front of him.

The numbness in his fingers grows back tenfold. It spreads to his chest, his head, engulfs his entire body with the tingling apathy. It threatens to overwhelm him, to dull his senses. Already he can feel sleep tugging at his eyelids. 

Something tells Kai there will be no fire to save him this time.

Kai doesn’t spare any more time looking at the two prone bodies in the charred clearing. Their bodies have been charred to a crisp, burned beyond recognition. Kai thinks he might feel guilty about killing the kid, even if he’d sworn allegiance to a depraved overlord. He probably had a family, or siblings, someone looking out for him. Someone waiting up late at night for a person that was never coming home.

He couldn’t have been older than Lloyd.

The trek back to the workshop goes unhindered. Even the Treehorns guarding the forest seem to notice his dire atmosphere, because there isn’t another attack. The small respite hardly registers– Kai just wants to go home.

The numbness doesn’t fade, even though Kai’s internal heat should drive it away well enough. The cold feeling settles in his chest like a steel blanket, constricting his lungs, chilling his breath. His broken rib twinges angry with every inhale, the gash on his forehead has left a nasty trail down the right side of his face. It’ll be a piece of work to fix him up again. Kai’s just sad Lloyd will have to see.

The workshop comes into view, plain and hidden just as ever. It’s almost jarring to see the world so untouched, when Kai has hardly managed to make it back himself. His charred gi and satchel must make for a pretty sore sight to see.

His satchel. The tea.

Frantically, Kai nearly trips over himself to open the burned bag. It smells of burnt hide and reeks of blood and other dirt now brought into the atmosphere by his infernal outburst, but– Kai breathes out a sigh of relief. The vial of tea leaves is still intact. 

He grips it tightly in his singular gloved hand –the other was singed off in the fight– staring at the encasing with trepidation in his heart. He had to find a way to get to Torchfire Mountain, discreetly, and soon. This would only be enough to last a week, at most.

Perhaps it is this distraction that leaves Kai unalert as he paws open the ajar door, moving on autopilot down the steep stairwell. His motions are robotic and rhythmic, hardly even present. There’s a distinct lack of something . It’s missing, and it burns Kai worse than any of his injuries.

Something chasmic yawns within his gut. Kai stares at the door to the labyrinth of tunnels –meant to be sealed shut– cracked wide open. 

Kai was too late.

Lloyd is gone.