Work Text:
“It’s just — fuck, I don’t know.”
Naruto frowns. He’s lying next to him on one arm, looking at Sasuke who has wrapped himself up in blankets. He’d waited, softly laying against him, until Sasuke finally felt like he was inside of his body again.
It’s not the first time it happened — in blind panic, Itachi flashing by, his parents’ last moments, the eyes on Danzo, everything. Re-experience, they’d called it. It would happen, get worse from time to time. Third time the charm had Naruto recognising the symptoms, wrapping him up and softly talking to him even though Sasuke barely heard any of it.
“Maybe you can try to explain, I mean, you don’t have to but —” Naruto stops talking, lays a hand on the side of his head, his hair. Instead of backing off, Sasuke leans into the touch.
“Uh,” Sasuke’s throat feels a little dry. He looks at Naruto, away again. “It’s all recorded here in this body. It just fucking reacts without me — I don’t know — keeping up with it in my brain.”
Naruto nods softly. “Sharingan?”
Sasuke frowns. It’s not a weird question. It could be just his sharingan. It’s not. “It’s more — it fucking blacks out, out of panic when there’s literally nothing going on. I’m fucking safe.”
“You are,” Naruto whispers. He slowly takes Sasuke’s hand in his own, interlacing their fingers. “You’re here.”
Sasuke nods. Though he knew that the massacre also happened in his home, where he had been safe. This place is different. Naruto is here; honest and open as always. “I know. But none of it helps. I look in the fucking mirror and I think I see Itachi. When I walk through the street people look at me and I know it’s because I look—”
“You’re fine. You look good.”
Sasuke looks away. “I carry everything with me. These fucking eyes or the long hair that makes me look like him are just the start. Sometimes I wish I could, I don’t know, pick up a new body somewhere.”
Naruto grips his hand a little tighter. For a little while he seems to me thinking, watching Sasuke. Then, softly, he says: “Don’t you carry some of the good stuff with you as well, then?”
Sasuke wants to ask him: what good stuff?
But lately there has been good stuff. New stuff. Naruto inviting Sasuke into his space as if they have always lived there together, kissing him for the first time on a stupid hike that they called a vacation, reading together, cooking together, waking up together.
Sasuke’s body is not letting any of those experiences through, though. Most of the time he can barely feel it, let stand trust that it will stay.
“Don’t you — uhm — have a favourite thing about yourself?”
Sasuke watches Naruto, their hands linked in front of his heart. He doesn’t have to think about it. Not really. Still, he falls into silence.
“Like—” Naruto goes on. “Maybe your hands? Or, like, your hand. I mean… Your fingers are really nice and slender. Or maybe your chest? I like it when your collarbones are—”
Somehow, maybe just because he’s embarrassed, he finds himself saying the stupidest shit he’s ever said out loud. “My arm,” he mumbles quickly.
Naruto looks at their interlocked hands, smiling sweetly. Sasuke realises that Naruto doesn’t quite get it.
“No,” Sasuke mumbles again. “The one that’s gone — or like, what’s left of it.”
Now Naruto’s eyes blow wide, right before his face breaks into a massive grin. “The one we blew off?”
He kind of regrets saying it. He means it, though. Maybe more than anything.
He lets go of Naruto’s hand and turns away slightly, looking at the ceiling.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I think I get it! Please — keep on explaining? I want to understand it, you know. Want to be able to help you.” I love you, he doesn’t say. Sasuke hears it anyway.
“It’s proof,” he answers. Even though it doesn’t make sense.
Naruto lets his entire body lean on Sasuke, nods against his shoulder. “Ah, I get that.”
“Of the fact that I am me… that I’m not Itachi, that my life was different from his. Proof of the fact that I couldn’t kill you even when I wanted to. Proof that we’re in this together.” He’s talking a lot. Feels something hot and uncomfortable in his body because of it. As he tries to move away more, Naruto leans in more and pulls him back. He’s got stupid tears welling up in his eyes and a stupid emotional grin on his face.
Sasuke doesn’t think he can stand it.
He throws Naruto off him, sits on top of him. “Proof that we’re fucking dumb.”
Naruto laughs. Maybe because Sasuke finally moved after laying paralysed and panicked for fuck who knows how long. Maybe because he’s admitting to being just as stupid as Naruto. Maybe because he’s sitting on top of him.
“It’s a promise,” Naruto mumbles.
And Sasuke can’t help that he feels that Naruto finally gets it.
He can’t help teasing him a little either. Not now Naruto is holding him. Not now that he finally feels lighter. “Maybe you should just buy a ring like a normal person next time.”
Naruto holds his hips tightly, stares at him like he hung the stars. He’s always staring at him like that. “I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”
Sasuke hopes he will.
Not that he’d ever admit it out loud, but he wouldn’t mind Naruto asking him to get married. Staying together in their stupid small apartment, with their insane amount of plants on their balcony, and their neighbours that bring over leftover food because they feel guilty for how they once treated Naruto.
He would say yes. To all of it.
“Sasuke… I don’t know if you want to hear this, probably not, and I know it’s not what you mean, not really, but, uh — I love your body. Not just your body, of course, but yeah, hm— it’s the one I know you in. It leaves me breathless so often. I know everyone in the whole world has told you this but you are really pretty.”
He wants to tell Naruto that he’s not everyone. Another thought wins, forces its way to the front of his mind. “I used to be,” he says.
“Fucking hell— do you never look at yourself or something?” Naruto brings his hands to Sasuke’s yukata shirt until Sasuke’s chest is showing, a slight cold hitting his nipples and neck. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” Naruto whispers. He slowly pulls Sasuke in and lays his lips around Sasuke’s nipple. He licks it, then sucks softly. “And you’re not perfect.” His lips touch Sasuke’s nipple as he talks. “Not like everyone used to think you were. Fuck that, your body is you. ”
“Me?” It’s not. He’s mismatched like a collage.
He doesn’t think he’ll be able to convince Naruto.
Naruto’s mouth is warm as he moves with his tongue to the sensitive skin underneath his armpit, licks there. “It’s proof,” he says before laying a wet kiss on his skin. “That you’re still here. Every spot. Want to know your body better. Want to know you better.”
Sasuke breathes in, grips a handful of Naruto’s hair. “No one knows me like you do.”
His body often feels like it will betray him.
The pain behind his eyes, the fits of panicked breathing, the way he barely recognises himself in the mirror. This same body, though, is the one Naruto is gripping tightly. The one that becomes sleepy whenever he lays down next to Naruto, because it’s safe, familiar.
Naruto moves to his stump, the place where his arm once was, and licks the wound. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. Then he kisses the scarring, licks from the soft skin of his upper arm to his shoulder, his collarbone, back to the stump. “Sasuke—”
“Hm?”
“Can I?”
Sasuke, in spite of himself, smiles. “Hm—” he carefully lets his hand travel over Naruto’s warm skin. Then, he pulls his Yukata off completely, kicks off his pants too. Naruto stares at him.
The stars in the sky.
One and only. Etcetera.
Naruto’s bright eyes don’t leave him for a second.
He pulls his own cock, then, his voice hoarse, says: “You really like me.”
Naruto grins. “I really love you. More than anything.”
“Mhm—” Sasuke watches Naruto as if it helps him hear the words. I love you. I love you. I love you — “You want to lick me open?”
“Yes.” Naruto breathes out, a tremble. “Fuck yeah.”
He guides Sasuke to his hands and knees, the sheets slipping off the bed as they move. He softly presses on his lower back, pushing Sasuke’s ass up. He kisses his hip, his thumb sliding over his feet, a hand over his leg. With his body lowered onto Sasuke, as if they are becoming one, he pulls Sasuke’s cock.
“Beautiful,” he breathes out before moving back and pulling his asscheeks apart, slowly licking from his balls to his rim, then pressing his tongue onto his hole. Sasuke reels, almost pulling away at the intensity before pushing in closer. Closer, closer, he needs— Naruto holds him in place, his calloused hands digging into his skin.
Naruto licks him open. His thumb replacing his tongue, pressing in, then his tongue coming back, moving deeper. Sasuke wonders how he can feel so much inside and out of his body at the same time.
I love your body.
Sasuke knows it’s true as Naruto turns him around, his mouth and nose wet and a little red, a hazy look in his eyes. He smiles at Sasuke, pushing his legs up and laying them on his shoulder.
It’s proof. It’s a promise.
Sasuke pulls Naruto in close, burying his face in Naruto’s throat and wrapping his arm around his torso tightly. He feels like never fucking letting go again. Guesses that that’s not new. Naruto hums softly, questioning. His cock is pressing against his entrance, but he stops moving for a second. “You okay?”
Sasuke nods, his nose on Naruto’s skin. “Hm— yes.”
“Can I—”
Sasuke pulls Naruto in closer, dragging his own body against Naruto’s. He feels as Naruto fills him, hears the soft curse Naruto says under his breath. He uses his feet to press Naruto into him. Closer, closer, closer. Deeper. He brings his hand to Naruto’s hair as Naruto pulls him into a deep kiss. Closer. More.
Naruto fucks into him deeply. Barely pulling out anymore. As if he’s trying to see if they can truly become one. He grips Sasuke’s body and pulls him onto his cock. The only reason he lets go, moves even a fraction, is to get Sasuke onto his lap a little better, repositioning himself and hitting deeper.
“Fuck—” The word snaps out of him, a cut off moan. Naruto holds his face and looks at him. Stars and the moon. Imperfect. Breathless. I really love you. “Naruto— I, Fuck— I’m go—”
Naruto falls back over him, their body’s becoming one again. Sweat and precum between them, Naruto’s breath in his neck. One pace. Heavy. Closer. Warmer. He has a hand in Sasuke’s hair and unconsciously pulls it.
Stars. Sasuke sees stars. He distantantly hears himself saying Naruto’s name, over and over again, as he comes against Naruto’s stomach.
Naruto, as if it’s an answer, bites into his neck. Licks it. Keeps his mouth there. “Fuck— Sas— I love you.” He scratches his jaw it with his teeth. Sasuke’s cum leaks on their stomachs, his overstimulated and half hard cock burning at the friction between them.
And Naruto keeps on fucking out his orgasm. Closer. Closer. Closer.
And then he pulls away, straightening his back and towering above him. He grabs Sasuke’s face, the jaw he’s just bitten and looks at him. He watches Sasuke as he fucks into him. His eyes blown wide, his face red and sweaty. He watches the cum on Sasuke’s stomach; the mess he’s made of him. He watches Sasuke’s chest, which he admitted loving. He swipes the hair off Sasuke’s face with a thumb, away from his eyes, and holds him in place. Looks at him as if he’s never seen anything he loved more.
Nothing — no one — like him.
He looks at him like that all the time. Sasuke knows it. Still—
“Ah— I’m going to cum,” Naruto moans out. Sasuke turns his hips, making more space for Naruto to press into him and he feels his cock thicken. Naruto grabs his hips. “You’re so, fuck— you— you’re—”
Sasuke hears himself chuckle breathily. “Pretty?”
Naruto laughs too, now, between moans and hallways through his orgasm. Looking like a proper mess too. Sasuke thinks he hasn’t ever seen anyone like Naruto either. Thinks he really loves him too.
“Ah— yeah.” He presses into him slowly, the last few thrusts, and chuckles some more, coming back down to earth, blue eyes on Sasuke. “Yes. Yeah, so fucking pretty.”