Work Text:
Donghyuck has always wished to be known in a way that goes beyond having to communicate basic emotions. To have a partner who, with a look, a touch, a text, is able to read into his mind.
It grows from the inability to be vulnerable in front of another–not willingly at least. It festers when his mother buys salted caramel ice cream for him and his brother.
That's how the media has portrayed intimacy for him. Now, 10 months into a relationship, he thinks it might have been all bullshit.
He fought with Jaemin. Donghyuck had brought up his dislike for Haein, Jaemin’s coworker, several times before. Despite being married, she shows no restraint in touching Jaemin all over, and while Donghyuck understands the urge, he doesn’t appreciate seeing it happen.
The first time he had seen it was when Jeno sent him a picture from one of those lame doctor lunches they bought after a risky but successful surgery.
The hand on Jaemin’s chest had Donghyuck blinking several times at the screen because really? In front of everyone?
Jaemin’s expression clearly stated that this was a normal occurrence.
It had all blown up earlier today when Donghyuck saw Jaemin walk out with her from the hospital again. Jaemin said they had finished a shift together and had gotten food. What Donghyuck heard was Jaemin saying that Donghyuck being uncomfortable with her presence didn't matter.
Dramatic, but that’s the kind of night Donghyuck had been having.
Donghyuck stayed with Jisung that night. Jaemin told him that he was welcome back anytime. Anytime he was willing to actually talk.
Orange juice and cookies are served. Donghyuck tries to make sense of everything he feels, because guilt of some sort is scratching its way back up his throat and he doesn’t understand why.
Jisung, warm and soft, is sitting across the coffee table, on the floor, tugging at a thread from the hem of his sweater.
“Donghuck hyung, Chenle broke up with me for reasons I didn’t understand back then. He would get mad at me for things that I thought were completely normal, but then wouldn’t exactly tell me what was bothering him either. Like he expected me to read his mind at all times because I loved him. ”
The warmth is dulled with the sour expression that Jisung now wears.
“It wasn't until recently that he told me that there were things I said and did that bothered him. Said that he had dropped hints but that I had been too dumb to see them.”
Chenle would never say that to Jisung–not like that anyway.
“Hyung, I never felt so stupid and betrayed in my life. I wouldn't have lost the love of my life if he had just talked to me. Please don’t do that to Jaemin hyung, he loves you so much.
The only thing this mindset does is invalidate your partner’s feelings.”
“Jisung-ah…”
Donghyuck decides to give a shot at talking.
<3
His mom is home. When Donghyuck gets home, the chatter is loud, pots and pans, glass containers on marble, chairs scraping on the floor.
“Ma?”
“Donghyuck-ah!”
A bear hug, he takes a deep breath, eyes shut with enough force to keep any tears in. When he opens them he sees Jaemin with Dongjun. They both have their hands full and seem to be unloading whatever haul Donghyuck’s mother decided to bring this time.
“There’s ice cream too. You should hurry and put it in the freezer.”
Jaemin gives her a smile and moves to take the ice cream and pauses. He pulls out the tub, face expressing more than confusion.
“Is this all?” It’s rude, extremely so, and Donghyuck would have said something if not for the fact that he simply can’t bring himself to speak to Jaemin right now.
Donghyuck’s mom laughs and asks if he wanted more.
“Donghyuck doesn’t even like caramel.”
“No, Jaemin-ah. It’s his favourite.”
“No. It’s Dongjun’s favourite, Donghyuck doesn’t like anything caramel.” Jaemin looks upset when he looks over at Donghyuck.
It's silent for too long and Donghyuck breaks it with a laugh he hopes doesn’t sound too awkward.
“It’s fine.”
“You don’t? Why did you never say so?” His mom’s tone is accusatory.
Donghyuck lets out a breath. “I did, the first four times. I just assumed it didn’t matter since you kept buying it anyway.”
<3
Jaemin sits with his back against the headrest of the bed. He pats the space in front of him when Donghyuck enters the room. His mom had refused to take the blame, somehow getting more irritated with every word said in Donghyuck’s defense. Jaemin had smiled and told her that both of them had plans and had to be leaving soon.
Donghyuck sits far enough from Jaemin that Jaemin can’t touch him from where he is.
“I’m sorry.” Jaemin sounds tired but gentle anyway.
Donghyuck is going to cry.
“No. I’m sorry, I think.” Donghyuck starts. “Please don’t say anything until I’m done.”
“I don’t like Haein, not one bit. She acts like you're free real estate. Actually, why does she act like she’s free real estate? She’s got a rock the size of my head on her finger but somehow she’s feeling you up in department lunches. Stupid.”
A breath.
“But I should have told you all this more clearly before I expected you to do something about it. I think most of my anger was misplaced because I was angry that despite all the hinting at wanting you to stay away from her, you never seemed to care.”
Jaemin’s expression breaks and he’s moving forward, taking Donghyuck’s hands in his own.
But he waits.
“So I am sorry, and please stop being around her. As much as you can, at least.”
Jaemin just looks at him for a bit. It’s just a little bit unnerving so Donghyuck closes the distance, resting his head on Jaemin’s shoulder. Jaemin is bundling him up into his lap immediately, arms wrapping around Donghyuck’s frame in a hug so tight he thinks he can feel Jaemin’s heartbeat.
“Okay, no more Haein. I’m sorry and I love you.” Jaemin pulls away to place a kiss on Donghyuck’s temple. “Also, I’m so proud of you.”
<3
Chenle comes over a few days later.
He’s a whirlwind of junk food, expensive perfume and dog fur as he tracks mud onto their new mat.
Chenle is sitting on the floor, legs crossed under the coffee table with the remote in his hand when Donghyuck walks in after putting Chenle’s shoes away. That’s how the argument begins, about how it’s finally Donghyuck’s turn with the remote and how Chenle doesn’t have any right to steal it from him.
Somewhere in the middle of pawing at the remote, Donghyuck sprawled on the floor a few paces away from Chenle and as he tries to push away, Chenle reaches out, curling a hand around Donghyuck’s right ankle.
Jaemin, who had been on his phone only half paying attention to the whole debacle, knocks on the marble surface of the kitchen counter.
“Hey, be careful with his right leg, he has an anklet on that one.”
Donghyuck stutters in his movement, his head turning to face Jaemin for a second before he kicks at Chenle again.
Maybe he is known, just in ways he never even thought about.