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Ram was busy doing maid things like sweeping the windows and brushing the blinds. Okay, perhaps she wasn’t as busy as she would claim but she couldn’t get into her work.
Not because she was tired (she always was) or that she had too much to get done, she had made sure to give Petra her little brat-with-a-lip tax in the share of chores, but because who wasn’t in the room with her right now.
She was in Roswaal’s office, where she had been for the last hour waiting for him to return. She could’ve finished her work there in two minutes but she also liked to be thorough and Roswaal learned to accept her dedication without questioning her ever since that tea incident when she was five.
Letting out a sigh and being upset that Roswaal didn’t appear because of it, Ram shifted from the window outlooking nothing to the one that actually gave her a view of the garden. If she was lucky, she might be able to see Subaru out there, making a fool of himself in front of Emilia or getting seriously hurt -that always got a good chuckle out of her.
The balls were there but no Emilia. That was a bit concerning, Subaru clung to her like a puppy would a leg they could hump but she was nowhere to be seen. She wasn’t even graced with the sight of him struggling in the heat while she was able to stay inside -the bastard even had an umbrella.
Opening the window, to yell at him to go back to work, even if she had no clue if he was scheduled for today, the words died in her mouth as her Roswaal approached him with two drinks in his hands.
Subaru, uncharacteristically, accepted the drink and began laughing. Seeing Roswaal join in, Ram couldn’t help but feel left out.
“Whatever, I’m sure it wasn’t funny,” Ram muttered. “I didn’t want a pink drink either.”
The fact the color of their drinks was her motif made the act sting more but that was fine. It definitely was, just like how it was fine her foot accidentally bumped his trash can all over his desk as she stormed off.
Their giggling was driving her up a wall.
She thought it would be fine with the two of them hanging around. Roswaal always fancied Subaru, seeing him just as precious as her even when the fool couldn’t peel a tato right and instructed her to keep an eye out for him. His request proved necessary as the fool almost got her killed alongside the sister she could no longer remember.
Then the idiot proved his stupidity in the capital, humiliated himself and Emilia to the point even she had enough and abandoned him. Such a sight would’ve been nice to see but she was instead stuck with a mopping Emilia, who just whimpered in her bedroom all day like a bigger loser until Subaru brought an army to their doorstep and saved them from the witch cult that apparently was planning on murdering them all.
Didn’t make up for how embarrassing that duel with Julius was, and she was never one to miss bringing it back up whenever someone discussed it. He could take credit for ‘saving’ the day but that meant acknowledging what happened before, a fair trade. Definitely wasn’t because of her not liking the idea of owing him anything. She also didn’t need saving, he merely took care of a distraction she could’ve handled with minimal effort and she refused to let him think otherwise.
Damn, she really wished she was there to see the beatdown. Emilia even told her he was a crying mess!
Regardless, Ram couldn’t deny his effort in the sanctuary but thankfully she was there and handled Roswaal. The fool would’ve been toast without her, and even as she begrudgingly acknowledged he was the one to really do it, she could at the very least take solace in being involved in the action there. So it really was more 50-50, or so she claimed.
The point is that Roswaal acknowledged him before acknowledging him meant anything. She knew her master cared for him but it was starting to get ridiculous this past day. He should be in his office, doing paperwork until she brought in tea and she was sucked dry; instead, the man was actively walking around, joking with a bigger clown than him while she was left in the background.
And now she was supervising their little outing, pushed against the wall in a corridor out of sight and grinding her teeth as Roswaal began a laugh she never heard from him before.
“Oh my~ what a vivid imagination you have Subaru~” Roswaal practically sang, leaning closer to him.
“Damn, I really didn’t think it was that funny but alright then,” Subaru acknowledged the gesture by nervously drinking out of his glass. “So when do you think it’ll be ready?”
“Hmm, I’d give it a few more days~” Roswaal assured, before putting his hand on Subaru’s cheek. “Say, have you considered having a mana transfer between the two of us?”
Ram practically barked at the remark but Roswaal and Subaru had become too accustomed to the noises that escaped her that neither noticed.
“Oh, uh, sorry but I already have Beatrice to handle that,” Subaru awkwardly declined, flinching as Roswaal’s hand went to his ear.
“I’m not one to judge someone’s tastes Suba~ru but she’s merely a little girl. Someone of your quality needs someone a little more…mature, to handle such a delicate matter,” Roswaal whispered, forcing Subaru to make eye contact with him. “Trust me, once I’ve gotten my hands on you they’d start referring to you as the clownmancer~”
“What?”
“It’s a mere suggestion. If you believe Beatrice to be able to handle such an affair by herself, then feel free to continue using her to your heart's content. I’m merely suggesting an alternative,” Roswaal smiled softly at him.
“I…I think I’m going to need to tell Beatrice about this,” Subaru brought his hand to the one currently cupping his cheek and slowly pulled it away. “She’s very…particular about mana transfers.”
“I’m sure she is. The little girl gets to do it a few times and she gets selfish,” Roswaal laughed. “You needn’t worry Subaru, I can show you how nice mana transfers can feel~”
Ram was about to snap if one of her teeth didn’t snap right there. She let out a cry as she held her mouth and broken tooth. On her knees, she got a good sight of Petra’s shoe before the girl kicked her in the head as she skipped into the lounge.
“Subaru, Subaru,” Petra sang out before coming to a stop in front of the two of them. “Subaru, can you come play with me?”
“Ah, Petra. I’m sorry but Subaru and I~” Roswaal didn’t go quiet because of the glare the girl leveled at him, he merely was waiting for Subaru to interrupt him.
“Of course, it was getting a bit stuffy in here anyways,” Subaru agreed, quickly standing up on both feet. “We can hopefully have that other conversation again later, Ro-chi, and this one never again.”
“Tada,” Roswaal waved goodbye, ignoring the stern look from the little girl in front of him to instead focus on what truly matters.
When Ram came crawling in, she joined him on the couch as they watched the two of them walk away. Like Roswaal, she chose to be quiet until the two of them were out of the comically long hallway so she could speak privately. Definitely not because of something catching her eye.
“Roswaal-sama,” Ram began, only for Roswaal to hold a finger up to silence her. Slowly turning to face her, he brought his finger to his lips and licked it.
“It tastes better than I imagine,” Roswaal let out a strangely erotic sigh before he begrudgingly faced her. “What can I do for you, my dear Ram?”
“Roswaal-sama, I was hoping we could have a mana transfer today,” Ram said with a slight blush. She played a bit with her hair as she avoided meeting the man’s gaze.
“I’m afraid I’m busy for the rest of the day, you’ll need to handle the matter yourself,” Roswaal quickly shut her down.
“Ah, I heard you mention doing one with Barasu so I was hoping,” Ram blushed like a schoolgirl before collecting herself and sitting up straight like the trained maid she was. “Ram would be the preferred partner, her grace and mana quality far exceeds that of Barasu.”
“Ram, I’m afraid I am quite busy~” Roswaal stood up and glanced down at her with a critical eye. “You should get that tooth checked. It would be a shame for your smile to be dimmed~.”
Ram brought a hand to her mouth as she stared at his significantly less impressive rear-end walk away. Letting out a noise of discomfort, Ram pretended that didn’t sting as she got up to find something else to pretend to do until dinner time.
Subaru was eating like a slob, as usual. The boy had a habit of speaking with his mouth full and lacked the ability to properly chew. The fact that the woman on his lap would forcedly throw her fork into his face for him to eat from her plate wasn’t an excuse, even when she managed to get a meatball into his hair.
“Beako, I’m stuffed. You should finish your plate,” Subaru pleaded with her, only for her to violently shake her head at him.
“Nuh-uh, you need more energy,” Beatrice shut down his request as she shoved a fork into his face. “Eat up.”
“I’m the one meant to be the parental figure,” Subaru grumbled to himself before looking to his side at Emilia. “Please, any help?”
“I agree with her. You need to eat more mister,” Emilia cruelly shut him down, and even giggled at his defeated expression. “Look on the bright side, I think you look cute when your mouth is shut.”
“Oh, uh, thanks,” Subaru was a blushing mess at her forward words that he missed the implication and Beatrice shoving the fork into his gaping mouth.
“Here, let me get that for you,” Emilia smiled at him as she brought a napkin close to his face.
“No, Betty has this I suppose,” Beatrice’s hand, also holding a napkin, quickly threw itself against Emilia’s to stop her from the sacred act. “You haven’t touched your greens, you should focus on that instead.”
“I ain’t eating them! Just let me do it,” Emilia argued back.
“Ladies, ladies,” Roswaal stood up from his seat at the head of the table. It was definitely the head of the table, not the seat Emilia was at, and not the farthest seat from everyone who’d only let him eat with them if he stayed quiet and out of sight at dinner.
The two maids on duty, Ram and Frederica, gave a trained bow to him as he stood while the rest of the table glared at him.
“Arf the fuk u do-” Garfiel was interrupted from butchering the English language as Beatrice spoke up.
“Betty shall clean her contract, just as she does with all his accidents,” she declared, ignoring the man and sending her glare toward Emilia.
“I want to help too. I can clean up his accidents just as well.”
“Ah, it’s not that big of a deal. Why don’t I just wipe it off myself,” Subaru suggested, only for the two of them to turn on him. Seeing the glares, he offered a small apology before being silent like a good boy.
“Do not worry Subaru-kun, I can clean you~” Roswaal whispered in his ear, smiling as Subaru let out a girlish scream. He was close to fulfilling his promise but his napkin happened to turn to ice as it touched Subaru’s cheek, getting another girlish noise from the boy.
“I’ll handle it myself,” Subaru promised, standing up straight and putting Beatrice down in one fluid motion. “Don’t wait up for me!”
He ran as fast as he could out of the room after that.
“My, he’s quite fast with those toned legs of his,” Roswaal commented a few awkward moments later.
“Yes, Betty’s Subaru has nice legs I suppose,” Beatrice agreed before she realized who spoke and leveled a glare at him. “What are you trying to do I suppose?”
“Me? Nothing, my dear. I’m merely trying to get close to my dearest knight~” Roswaal vowed, only for a meatball to hit his eyebrow.
“Oops,” Petra apologized lamely. “It slipped.”
No one was going to question how a meatball slipped from across the table but Frederica, on duty, decided it was her duty to correct the bad behavior of her junior.
“Petra, you must apologize-” her words died in her throat as Petra slowly turned to face her. With a polite bow, Frederica turned back around and took her position at the corner of the room.
She was not going to bring up that Petra was on duty tonight, and that she should be standing and not at the table. She was not brave or paid well enough for that.
“It’s alright~” Roswaal chuckled as he used his napkin to wipe his face. “Say, has anyone seen Ram?”
“Who cares,” Beatrice threw her hands up in the air as she started playing with her food.
Ram cared more than she would admit.
Why the heck was everyone so focused on that pervert? Why was Roswaal so keen on wiping his face; she remembers many times having a messy face and him telling her to clean it herself. She couldn’t help the pain she felt as Roswaal began focusing more on him, so she decided that now would be a good time to confront him while everyone else was distracted at dinner.
That meant following him into the bathroom. It also meant getting to see him completely bare as he slowly inched his way into the boiling water. For the sake of the conversation, she decided to be mature for once and wait until he was fully in before making her presence known. Of course, she saw everything and she would be judging him for it. Just not to his face. Yet.
“Barasu,” Ram spoke up, coming into the baths. He let out a noise at her appearance and she let a smirk take over as his arms went below water to try to cover his manhood.
“What- What are you doing in here? Get out!”
“Ram is gracing you with her presence and you’d-”
“Get out!” Subaru shouted again before splashing her with water. She stared blankly at him for a moment for the sin, before she lunged into the bath after him.
He let out a girlish yelp as Ram joined him in the water. Of course, being Subaru, he was no match for the thin girl physically and she was able to wrestle him down. He could keep his hands on his manhood, her arms were too busy wrapping around his hips.
“Eek!” Subaru screamed out, as her arms wandered across his lower body.
“Damn, I knew it was bad but I didn’t think it was this bad,” Ram thought aloud, uncaring for his reaction to her sudden groping. “How am I meant to compete with this?”
“Eh? Ram let out go, please,” Subaru pleaded, only to squirm as her arms went to his thighs.
“I accepted defeat at the backend but to think I would lose in the hips and legs area too. I know you fill out dresses well but this is ridiculous,” Ram complained. ‘Could I lose in the chest as well?’
Ram gave him another scary look before her arms began evading his chest. Subaru let out another yell which fortunately for him, was enough for help to arrive.
“What are you doing Ram?” Her voice was quiet but the sudden noise drew the attention of both people in the tub.
“Oh, Ram was just saving Barasu from drowning in the bathtub,” Ram explained herself, ignoring the shaking boy in her arms who wanted to melt away.
“Let go of Subaru,” Petra’s demand was oddly persuasive and Subaru was granted his wish of falling into the water and better covering himself. “You may leave, I will watch him from now on.”
“Guh,” Subaru groaned out, his face completely red just like Ram’s underwear now visible from the wet clothes she wore and her hitched skirt. “I can’t marry Emilia now.”
“Fat chance of that happening,” Ram commented sarcastically before straightening out her uniform. “Ram will take her absence. Barasu, try to eat more; Ram does not need competition in petite beauties.”
“Petite beauties, what does that even mean?” Subaru whined, as Ram awkwardly made her way out of the tub while trying to act professional in her exit. Thankfully, Subaru hadn’t the ability to speak as she fell on her face during her exit and Petra was too busy holding in her bloodlust to do anything other than stare at Subaru.
“Can’t you go away as well,” Subaru asked Petra a moment later meekly.
“I can’t,” Petra simply denied, maintaining eye contact with him. “Don’t worry, I will be here in case you start drowning again.”
Subaru groaned and so began the longest bath he’s ever taken.
Bedtime could not come any sooner for Subaru.
He managed to avoid being put on a watchlist and get back to his and Beatrice’s room with whatever dignity he had left. She seemed pretty impatient to get the mana transfer started but Subaru accepted it as she wanted to sleep as much as he did and got into position.
It was pretty embarrassing for Beatrice to need to hold his hips during the process but according to her, it was the area where there was the least resistance so it should be the least painful for him. The memory of his first encounter with her was a good enough reason for him to accept the easier method and by now, he didn’t even need encouragement to get on his hands and knees.
Once it was done, Subaru began to change into his pajamas while Beatrice lay in their bed with her arms outstretched. He offered small talk to her and she stayed silent, a content smile on her face as she prepared for their nightly cuddle. Only when he mentioned Roswaal did she react, sitting up in shock.
“What was that, I suppose?” she asked him to repeat, her eyes wide.
“Ah, Roswaal has been acting pretty weird today and even Ram was. She followed me into the bath and everything,” Subaru complained, pulling up his bottoms. “I think she is weirded out by Roswaal wanting to do a mana transfer but that was way too far. Do we have an HR person I can file a complaint to or something?”
“Petra will handle it,” Beatrice dismissed his question quickly. “A mana transfer? Roswaal wanted to do a mana transfer with you?”
“Yeah, weird isn’t it? The guy is a creep and he wants access to my gate? I’m barely trusting him with that artificial one he wants to try, I’m not letting anyone but my precious Beako drain it,” Subaru swore before quickly adding. “Unless Emilia wants to learn how to.”
“Fat chance of that happening,” Beatrice replied dully, ignoring the sounds of her contractor in response to the dismissal of his dream. “Cuddling will have to wait, I suppose.”
Beatrice stood up as Subaru lay down. He tried to grab her hand to bring her back to bed but she only offered him a soft smile before pulling away. Their nightly ritual had been disturbed and while she felt bad about it, she had gotten what she needed out of it anyway.
“Can’t it wait until morning,” he asked her, only for her to shake her head.
“Betty will be right back, I suppose. If you’re still awake, we can cuddle then. If you’re sleeping, we can cuddle in the morning,” Beatrice promised him before pulling the blanket over him and tucking him into bed. “Betty has some matters to settle tonight.”
“Wait, how am I the younger one again?” Subaru cried out but it didn’t matter. Beatrice blew out the candle lighting their room and turned on his nightlite crystal before she left the room.
Subaru let out a sigh, looking around from his nice and comfortable position before looking under their bed. No monsters in sight, Subaru soon fell asleep after an exhausting day.
Roswaal couldn’t sleep.
He always did better after a mana transfer but Ram was just not cutting it. Perhaps it was her hips being as attractive as a cardboard box but transferring with her only left him more frustrated.
It didn’t help that temptation was so close to him, all the time. Whoever designed these ‘track pants’ was a genius on par with the person who designed the maid outfits his maids wore but unfortunately, the one who filled them so well was also someone so far out of reach.
He knew he was popular, and he knew he was being greedy but if his plan worked and Subaru received an artificial gate, then the boy would no longer need mana transfers. He might never get a chance at it, so what better time than the present to give it the old body-hopping try?
Tossing and turning, Roswaal used the tried and true tactic of flipping the pillow and his side only to run into pink frills.
Looking up at the forehead that could eclipse the sun, he offered Beatrice an uneasy smile.
“Ah, my dearest Beatrice. What can I do-” His words were cut off as her hand grabbed his ear and pulled.
It shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did, and while he didn’t pull a Subaru over it, even he was embarrassed by how much it stung and his desire for a kiss to make it better. Or at the very least an ice bag.
“Betty does not let strangers touch what is hers,” Beatrice warned him, the butterflies in her eyes looking far too cute for the malice hidden behind them. “Betty is first, Petra is second. Do not try to skip the line.”
“Skip the line, whatever do you mean~!” he let out a yelp as she grabbed his nose and began pulling on it. It somehow hurt worse!
“The one who Subaru’s heart belongs to is Betty. Petra is second after me,” Beatrice clarified before she let go of his nose.
“Ah, but what about Emilia-sama,” Roswaal countered, trying to poke a hole in the narrative only for her to chuckle at the suggestion.
“As if that’s happening,” Beatrice dismissed with a wave of her hand before shoving the finger attached to that hand into his eye. The scream he let out almost made up for her missed cuddles. Almost.
“Fuck! That’s it, greatest magician alive time!” Roswaal declared, preparing to blow up half of his own building and kill the spirit of the man he betted his life on only for his magic to pathetically puff out. It was almost as bad as Subaru’s attempts with Yin magic.
“I drained you, you moron,” Beatrice lectured him with both hands before fluttering her fingers. His eyes followed the movement, even as she brought them out wide before slapping both of his ears at the same time.
“This is not a warning. Next time, Petra is going to handle this,” Beatrice warned him despite saying it was not a warning. Thankfully Ram was being handled by Petra and couldn’t say anything backhanded to her about it.
“Oh, before I cuddle with my contractor and leave to nurse your boo-boos alone, do not ever interrupt my feeding time again. Betty can barely tolerate a third placer thinking she’s a higher rank than she is, she will not accept you,” she clarified before pulling out his tongue and then upper-cutting him so he’d bite his tongue. “That artificial gate better be a dud, or else.”
Seeing him twisting and turning in pain rather than the inability to sleep was a pleasant sight for Beatrice who was about to go find her contractor and cuddle the shit out of him.
When Roswaal showed up with a lisp and a red, swollen nose the next day, everyone had a good laugh. When Ram showed up without her hair and front teeth, people just awkwardly pretended Petra hadn’t visited her the night before.