Chapter Text
It was weird; things were so quiet without him, Minimoose, or Gir around. You had gotten so used to the incessant bickering of Zim and Computer, Minimoose's little squeaks, and Gir being yelled at that you actually really missed it. Your boyfriend and his minions, (or as you lovingly dubbed them; "your babies") had been gone for 3 months. You knew they could handle themselves because, well, they had killed hundreds (if not thousands) of creatures just by accident. But you still had that sense of dread in your heart. You had gotten into the habit of crying and worrying yourself sick; not really knowing where they were was terrible.
You really just couldn't stop thinking about them. It was Zim's birthday soon, and you wouldn't even get to kiss him good morning. Getting up to start your day without getting to make waffles for Gir and Minimoose was heartbreaking to say the least. Turning off your alarm, you end up making your way to Zim's 'human kitchen' to get some coffee. At least you still had Computer to keep you company, right? "Computer, darling, could you please help me? I think we're out of creamer and sugar. Do we have any irken equivalents?" Your bored tone is received by the alien super computer and he quickly chimes a response, "Yes master, we have irken sugar in the third cabinet, and irken milk in the fridge."
As you move to grab the aforementioned items, you hear a crash upstairs that peaks your attention. "Computer, what the hell was that?" The question is up in the air for longer than you'd like before he answers. "Master is home." To anyone else, he would sound just as bored and monotonous as usual, but you can hear the underlying excitement when he speaks. You had never rushed to the hanger as fast as you did in that moment; your boyfriend and your babies were finally home.
As the hanger door opens, you see the voot cruiser in all its busted up glory on the landing platform once more. You hear bickering as the cruiser opens and the three beings you missed the most in the entire galaxy are standing right there. You go completely unnoticed, so you have to call out before they even see you, "Zimothy, darling is that you? I missed you so much! And I can't forget my babies!"
All three heads pan towards you, and the first to run over to you is your sweet baby boy. "Mama! I missed youuuu!" His tiny robot legs can't seem to carry him fast enough. He jumps into your arms, and you can't help but hug him tight and plant kisses all over his cute little metal face. "I missed you so much, baby! Where have you three been?! Don't you ever do that again, you hear me?" You clearly don't care how dirty he is, because you just keep holding him and smothering him with kisses, even after your pajamas are covered in who knows what. The other two calmy watch your display as they move towards you two, away from the landing platform and back into the house. Your boyfriend leads you back downstairs by one hand, letting you cradle Gir in the other.
"Zim has to say, love-pig, your tallest hadn't expected such a reaction upon our great return! Zim had some very important business a few galaxies away, so your primitive human device couldn't reach us." Minimoose seems to disagree, letting out an angry sounding squeak, as if trying to say Zim was lying.
"Also Gir, why do you insist on calling him 'mama'? You should know by now that he identifies as a human male, not a female." Gir seems confused at this, but he just shrugs and keeps snuggling into you. "Well all that really matters is that you three are safe. And he can call me whatever he wants to, darling. I don't really mind." Your informing statement seems to give him a bit more insight into your mind. He mentally stores that information for later.
You sit back down at the kitchen table, trying to calmly go back to your coffee. As much as you're excited for their return, you do still have some on-campus college classes, and then you still have to go to work after that. Zim sits there staring at you, seemingly confused at your human morning ritual. "What exactly is that in your liquid holder, love-pig? Is it some kind of earth drug in liquid form?" You laugh at his confusion, and he seems to become even more confused as you do so.
"Well, it's made out of these beans from a plant called the coffee plant. They grind them up, pour hot water on the ground up beans, and filter out the solid part. Then you get coffee." He nods, silently urging me to continue. He seems way too interested in such a mundane human invention, but you don't really mind. "In coffee, there's a chemical called caffeine that keeps you awake and stimulates your brain. So, I guess if you put it that way...I guess it is a drug. But that's neither here nor there." His brain seems to catch all the info after you spewed it at him, and he seems satisfied with your explanation.
You look at the little robot on your hip and you can’t help but wonder. “Gir hunny, do you want some waffles? I have time to make you some if you want.” He seems to shake with excitement at the idea, so you take that as a yes. “Of course I doooo! I luvvvvv wafflesss! Can we make taco wafflesss??” You can't do anything but laugh and nod. Those were his favorite kind.
After you had finally finished your very messy "breakfast", you went upstairs to get dressed and head to school. Opening your closet and seeing so little choices was disappointing, but you figured you'd just have to settle for a crop top and your favorite jeans. You had to search for a bit, but eventually you found your binder and slid it on. Your ACDC crop top seemed like the perfect thing to pair with your chained jeans and platform boots. All it needed now was your kandi bracelets and your beanie with the trans flag patch on it.
As you rustle around your room to find your backpack, you can't help but feel you're acting too normal for having your alien boyfriend reappear at your shared home after three months of being gone for unknown reasons. You can't help but think, 'He'll probably tell me eventually.' so you just brush it off, and grab your phone, charger, and your keys. The three of them are cuddled up on the couch watching The Angry Monkey Show™, and it's a lot more domestic than you usually see from Zim. Gir excitedly waves goodbye to you as you head out, and you blow him a kiss as you wave to Minimoose and Zim.
The drive to the campus is boring as usual. The campus was pretty empty for a Wednesday, but that just meant there were less dickheads to bother you in class today. English was slow as usual; taking notes and being prompted to think about essay topics for the sixth time this semester. There was a test in Algebra, but it turned out to be mainly a review. Your Philosophy teacher spent the entire class lecturing his ass off, and your Finance class got canceled since the teacher was out sick and there was no sub. Once it hit noon it was lunch time. So you went and grabbed a snack, and decided to head home since you were done for the day. Of course on your way out, you're immediately stopped by your 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 favorite person. Fucking 𝘋𝘦'𝘷𝘰𝘯.
You're literally in the middle of opening the door to leave the campus, and there he is right outside, seemingly waiting. Trying to push past him, you pick up the pace but it was no use. He grabs your arm tight, leaving no room for escape. "Where do you think you're going, punk? Back to your fuckin' freak of a boyfriend? You fags are a disgrace." At that you can't help but roll your eyes. He was such a fucking dick. You stare him down as you speak up, "Well if you 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 know, I'm going to work, you fucking douche. And I know you wanna fuck me, but you're 'not gay', remember? 'Sides, I'd die and go to hell before I gave you a chance." You're actually able to shock him long enough to break his hold on your arm and get out of there.
That guy was always a fucking creep. It's all you could think about on the drive home. The fact that he kept trying to force himself onto you to "turn you back into a straight girl" was so fucking weird and gross. So of course the fact that he liked you in his mind didn't make him gay, since "you were a woman pretending to be a gay man". His face is finally plunged from your thoughts as you see that fateful teal house in the distance. As your day starts to brighten, thinking about your boyfriend, you suddenly remember the reason you were going back to the house was for your work clothes. You were on schedule for the next six hours, so you had no time for anything else. Of course, upon entering the house and hurrying toward your room, the memory of your work clothes already being in a bag floods your mind. You packed up your work clothes this morning when you remembered.
Grabbing the bag, you run back to the car; deciding you'll change when you get there. The drive to your job is pretty uneventful, besides the abandoned boat on the side of the road. Bloaty's Pizza Hog was crowded as usual, but at least it wasn't "buy a soda get three pizzas free" night. Changing into your greasy uniform in the bathroom after you clock in, you wash your hands and quickly get in work assembling the pizzas. It was an easy job; grab a frozen pizza crust, put sauce and cheese on top. Any extra toppings would be added by the person cooking the pizza. You were just the prep, you didn't get paid to do more than that.
Turns out, tonight was destined to go wrong. Right after you convinced yourself it wouldn't get busy, it did, and even worse, tonight was the night Professor Membrane brought his kids to have their weekly pizza. And the crowd lingering around him was painfully large. At one point while trying to take his order some stupid kid threw pizza at you and got the grease all over you. It felt like it was burning as it sunk into your skin. This stuff had to be toxic somehow.
Making the trek to the bathroom you start scrubbing your face, hoping to get the grease off before it sank into your pores. It took a while but you eventually got your face clean. It really pissed you off because you knew that grease was going to make you break out later. The amount of grease that single slice of pizza contained should’ve been illegal. You never understood how this place stayed open, it had to be bad for people’s health. But they paid you so…honestly you couldn't bring yourself to care.
After the manager gave that kid’s parents a long earful on restaurant etiquette, it was finally time for you to clock out. Thank the stars. The drive home was so much easier than the drive there. Especially since Zim had finally gotten home, you'd get to spend some well earned time with your boys. But first, you'd definitely have to change out of the greasy work uniform. Mainly because of Zim's allergy to grease, but also because you felt icky.
Stepping into a dark house was the last thing you expected; not even Gir was up watching his brainless TV. It was strange, but again, you shrugged it off. 'Maybe they're just tired.' You weren't sure, but you wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. Mindlessly slipping into the shower, you made sure to get all the dirt and grease off. Once your skin felt sufficiently cleaned and degreased, you slipped a towel around your body and made your way to your shared bedroom.
As you slowly slid the door open, you made direct eye contact with Zim. A few seconds go by as you stare at each other silently, before you move to get your clothes. Zim turns away from you slightly as he speaks, "Love-pig, would you like for Zim to leave the room as you get redressed? Zim doesn't mind if you don't." You chuckle and shrug, unfazed. "I don't give a shit, Zim. We've been dating for how long exactly?" You drop the towel as you pull on your boxers, leaving Zim with an eye full of your ass. "O-oh...uh! 2 years, 7 months, 3 weeks, 16 hours, 47 minutes, and 31.5 seconds..." Picking out your pajama set for the night, you pull on the shirt, and sit on the bed with the pants, pulling them up as you sit. 'Of course he would remember exactly how long you'd been together.' You roll your eyes, thinking to yourself. 'I wonder if he'll tell me what he's been doing for the last three months.'
Feeling the bed shift underneath you was a comforting feeling. All your muscles relaxed at once; you felt like you'd fall asleep instantly. As you rolled over, you could see the softness in Zim's ruby tinted eyes. This alien looked at you like nothing existed for him in the universe except you. As if you built the stars themselves. "What's up, hun? You're staring again." It seemed like he hadn't even realized he was staring 'til you pointed it out. His face flushed, standing up and moving halfway across the room out of embarrassment. You just raised an eyebrow and stared for a moment as you waited for any kind of explanation for what that was about.
Zim made his way over to your side of the bed as he tried to stutter out an answer. "Well, um...You see...Zim has a...But it's kind of...I don't know if you would...Dammit. Never mind." There was no way in hell you'd let that slide as any kind of explanation. You placed your hand on his cheek, guiding his ruby eyes towards you, facing yours. "No no no hun. Whatever that was? Not a real answer. Ask me what it is you wanna ask so I can understand what the hell you jumped across the room for." Your words seem to make him more nervous though. He takes a second to gather himself, finally able to ask a coherent question.
"Human, how do you feel about having...smeets? With me?" The question shocks you, but your eyes soften as you take his hand in yours. Now you understood what was going on. He was thinking about having children with you? What could you possibly even say to that? "Oh Zim. Nothing would make me happier...except, you putting a ring on it?" At that moment, you don't think you'd ever seen him happier. "Ah. Well. Zim actually was...that's why I asked. Zim wanted to ask you to be his life mate, but becoming life mates triggers Irken paternal instincts, due to the process of becoming life mates. It also involves breeding." That last part a little weird, but I mean, you loved him right? And he loved you. That's all that matters.