Chapter Text
Crowley grumpily walked into the therapist’s office. He had been going to Dr. Anthony Greyson for a year. Yes he picked him because he had the same name.
“Hello Crowley.” Anthony said. They had established that Crowley preferred Crowley over Anthony before. Crowley wouldn’t take Tony or Anthony or any other suggestions, so Dr. Greyson would be Anthony and Crowley would be Crowley.
“Yeah yeah hi.” He flopped into the couch in a way that did not look comfortable. Anthony had asked many times if there was a more comfortable way to sit, but Crowley insisted this was the most comfortable.
“Shall we get started?” Anthony wrote the date on the piece of paper he had for notes so he could remember the details. Crowley was quite a choatic client and had a bit of a confusing life. “I was thinking we’d continue where we left off-“
“New things going on, doc, I gotta say this.”
Anthony noticed Crowley’s tense body language, despite the leisurely way he was sitting. Crowley often said things in ways that were cryptic, like a puzzle, or like he was talking to himself. “Of course, what is it?”
Crowley sat up suddenly. “Anthony, this is the worse moment of possibly my whole life and that’s saying something since I’m.. uh 56.”
Anthony blinked in confusion. 56 wasn’t that old, but he didn’t argue.
“It all started with the naked man.”
Antony nodded. Crowley had told him about how his friend, Mr. Fell, or Azra Fell, got visited by a friend. Why he always called him his full name was beyond him. Anyway, this friend, “Jim” (Antony thought this must be a fake name), arrived naked for some reason? Crowley thought this an important detail but did not elaborate. Jim went through memory issues and they had been trying to work through his jealousy of sharing his best friend with this old friend. “Yes, Jim.”
“Jim sucks. Have I told you about the things he did?”
“You told me how he arrived naked and how he was, in your words, ‘an asshole who needed several lessons’. You told me that he pushed his religious beliefs on you.”
“Well not exactly the religious beliefs, he just thinks he’s better than everyone else because he’s.. catholic. He told my best friend- well we’ll come back to whether he’s still my best friend- but he told Aziraphale to shut up and die.”
Antony raised his eyebrows. “That’s quite a threat. And you were there?”
“Long story short, I was there and Aziraphale wasn’t.”
“Right..”
“Anyway, the main reason I’m here - and why I set up four more sessions this week - is because I need to tell someone who is legally responsible to not tell anyone about anything I say about yesterday..”
“What happened yesterday?”
“Well it’s started with Jim. As I’ve told you, he had forgotten his memory and showed up to Aziraphale’s place out of nowhere after trying to kill him- oh by the way he tried to kill Aziraphale- and then I tried to get him to- oh never mind and he didn’t remember but then he got his gay little happy ever after with bee- er bee yeah and the.. um catholic bible study group that Aziraphale used to be apart of- or maybe still was- and jim forgot he was apart of. Apparently he and bee were having an affair while we were trying to fix the mess that is the rivalry between the two book clubs- or bible studies or whatever- or maybe it was after? Anyway..”
“You’re mad at Jim for getting a happy ever after with Bee?”
“No im mad- well yeah I guess I’m jealous it’s so easy with them. It’s took 6000 years- er it feels like it took- well I’ll get back to that. Anyway we thought bee was a danger to Jim so we didn’t tell either the catholic book club or bee where Jim was but we could’ve gave him to-“ he grumbled angrily. “anyway.. we have some neighbours, Maggie and Nina- oh! Background information, the catholic book club is composed of hea- Healthy Living Corp. employees and my book club- we the bible study I was apart of- and sort of- well that group is all apart of Hell- umm Hello World Inc. that’s where we met. I quit hello world recently. Anyway, Angel got visitated by the biggest .. er bible study crossover of the century- metaphorically of course- and so healthy living’s big boss’s secretary and hello world’s big boss’s secretary were both there. Bee is hello’s and there’s this guy named uh.. mmmm.”
“You can say his real name, I can’t tell the police.” Of course Anthony knew he was lying. He assumed it was something illegal. Maybe two gangs or a cult or something. Why there was so many fake names and details was a bit unclear but he went along as much as possible.
“Okay well.. I don’t know his name, we call him the metatron. He is the voice of- well the boss…?”
“You can tell me the full truth if you want.”
“You’ll try to check me into a mental hospital and I don’t want that, or you’ll put me on meds. It sounds insane to you hu- you normal people. And it’s not important I can get the point across.” He took a flask out of his coat. “Not that anything matters anymore.”
“Crowley, what did I say about drinking in here?”
“That I need a clear head and trying to process things through numbing my feelings isn’t productive..” he reluctantly put the flask away.
“Yes, good job.” He scribbled down a few notes.
- resistance to drinking despite a deep depression- progress? Or just likes me?
- What is the secrets? Mental hospital?
- Humans?
- Nothing matter
“Crowley, why do you feel like nothing matters.”
He looked at his coat like he really wanted to pull out the flask again. “Oh we’ll get to that, doc.”
“Okay, now do you have a support system, Crowley? Besides Mr fell?”
“I guess nina and Maggie would consider themselves my friends..”
“Okay Crowley, are you going to be okay this week until your next session? This session is almost over and I see you have a lot to say and a lot going on.”
He simply sighed. “We’ll have to go over it tomorrow.”
“Are you you to be okay?”
“I won’t come here hungover tomorrow.”
“Go to Maggie or Nina’s place. Try not to turn to alcohol to numb the pain. Whatever it is you have to feel it. Hopefully I’m not wrong about assuming something happened between you and Mr fell.”
“You are correct, Anthony.”
“I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye.”
Anthony watched Crowley get into the black car and drove off at an alarming speed. He hoped he wouldn’t hurt himself or others.
***
Crowley had decided to put his entire life in Dr Anthony’s hands. He had nothing to lose anymore and he still had hope that he could do something. If thinking is put in a mortals hands maybe something would be different than the 2000 years and not the fuck up that he made of it.
Crowley broke into Maggie’s apartment.
“Mr Crowley!” She exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”
“Are you my friend, Maggie?”
“Yeah, sure!”
“Well my therapist says I should have a support system so I’m here to make you support me.”
She raised her brows. “Okay! Um, what do you need?”
He flopped onto her couch. “I don’t know. Angel left me for heaven. I told him I loved him and he left. Can we just do anything but get drunk? My therapist said I can’t and I’m trying this thing where I listen to him. I might be a stupid demon who ruined the only good thing in my life but being drunk reminds me of him and everything does please how does mortals do love?”
She blinked and tried to gather herself. “Mr. Crowley, what you need is ice cream and sad movies.”
“You can eat ice cream but I don’t consume food much.”
“Okay.. I’m going to call Nina, okay?”
“Yeah whatever.”
Nina came over 10 minutes later. She wanted to know what happened but after a quick chat with Maggie, she conceded.
They three spent the rest of the evening watching sad movies. Maggie cried. The other two didn’t. Crowley sat there and moped.