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“Now,” Nikolai murmured, pulling Kaz closer, “let me take care of you.”
Kaz stiffened as Nikolai began unbuttoning his shirt. “What’re you-?”
“Shh,” Nikolai hushed, focus on the buttons down Kaz’s front. They came undone easily enough, and soon he was looking at Kaz’s torso, lean muscle framed by the black material of his shirt.
“So many,” he marvelled as he traced a scar that ran precariously close to Kaz’s heart.
“Been in a lot of fights.” Kaz’s voice was rougher than usual. Nikolai looked up at him.
“Is this okay?”
Kaz closed his eyes then nodded. “I’ll let you know. If it’s too much.”
“Good,” said Nikolai. His hand continued to wander over the myriad of scars along Kaz’s chest. Kaz’s eyes remained closed, but his eyelids fluttered when Nikolai traced over more sensitive areas. Eventually, his hand slid down Kaz’s side and around to the small of his back. Kaz let out a shaky breath, eyes opening as Nikolai pulled him closer and into a kiss. His free hand found its way up into Kaz’s hair and pulled, causing Kaz to gasp into the kiss. Nikolai huffed a laugh into the breath of space between them.
“‘S not funny, Lantsov,” Kaz said.
“Grumpy because you’re embarrassed you like it, aren’t you?”
Kaz hit him.
Nikolai laughed harder. “Deny it all you like, Brekker, your reaction tells me everything.” For emphasis, he tightened his grip around Kaz, causing their bodies to collide and his reaction to be abundantly clear to both of them.
Kaz scowled up at him. “You’re one to talk. Should I tell your wife how hard you got just from kissing me?”
Nikolai’s voice was low and rich when he replied, “Oh, I was thinking about a lot more than kissing, lapushka.”
Kaz blinked, then raised an eyebrow. “Were you now?”
“I said I was gonna take care of you, didn’t I?”
“And how do you plan to do that?”
Nikolai slipped his hand down and around to palm Kaz through his pants. “I could help with this, for a start.”
Kaz’s breath stuttered. His hips jerked, pushing himself against Nikolai’s hand, and a small whine escaped his throat.
“I take it you’d be amenable to that?” He removed his hand and took a step back, waiting for Kaz’s answer.
Kaz took a moment to recompose himself, swallowing hard and gripping his cane in one hand as the other ran through his hair. He closed his eyes briefly, breathing deeply, then nodded once, a sharp jerk of his chin. “I…” He licked his lips. “I would be.”
“Excellent,” Nikolai purred. He stepped back into Kaz’s space. His voice lowered as he asked, “Tell me what you want?”
To his surprise, colour rose to Kaz’s cheeks.
“Embarrassed?”
“I don’t,” Kaz began hoarsely. He cleared his throat. “I don’t do this very often.” His voice was soft and he didn’t look at Nikolai.
“Ah.” The first few times Nikolai had asked Zoya for things in bed had felt like overcoming monumental hurdles. “Do you have ideas?”
Kaz rolled his eyes. “Of course I have ideas,” he snapped. “It’s just…”
“Putting them into words?” Nikolai guessed. “Would it help if I offered instead?”
“Maybe,” said Kaz.
Right then. Nikolai cupped Kaz’s face with one hand and said in his lowest register, “Do you want me on my knees for you, zolottse?”
Kaz’s blush deepened. Red really was a wonderful colour on him. Seemingly at a loss for words, he simply nodded, once again avoiding Nikolai’s eyes.
Dragging his hand down the column of Kaz’s throat, the expanse of his chest, the centre of his stomach, Nikolai sank down, dotting a few kisses to the scars in the wake of his hand, until he knelt before Kaz, at eye level with the bulge in his pants.
“Ready?” he asked. Another nod. Deftly, Nikolai reached up and unbuttoned Kaz’s trousers, pulling them down to reveal his dick. Before he could do anything, Kaz dropped his right glove into Nikolai’s lap.
“It’d be too much otherwise,” he said by way of explanation.
Nikolai nodded and slid the glove on. It wasn’t a perfect fit, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. “It might not… stay clean,” he said, flexing his leather-clad fingers.
“Not my only pair.”
“Very well.” He gripped Kaz’s cock with his gloved hand and began to stroke, the smooth material gliding across the skin with little friction. As he worked, Kaz grew harder, his dick stiffening and lengthening in his grip and precum beading up at the tip. Nikolai felt his own dick straining at his pants, but did his best to ignore it. He was here to make Kaz feel a little less lonely, after all. Without thinking, he swiped his thumb over Kaz’s tip. He hesitated when his brain caught up to the fact that he was still wearing Kaz’s glove.
“Keep going,” Kaz hissed. Nikolai looked up to see Kaz glaring down at him, gloved hand gripping his cane like a lifeline, ungloved hand clenched around the edge of the table behind him.
“Pent up, are we?” he teased.
“Just…” Kaz thrust into Nikolai’s hand. Nikolai laughed. “Shut up,” Kaz grit out.
“Make me.” It was a dare, a challenge, an invitation, and Kaz took it. His cane clattered as it hit the floor beside them, then his hand was in Nikolai’s hair, dragging his head forward. Nikolai opened his mouth and took him in.
Kaz hit the back of his mouth just as Nikolai’s lips met his hand, still holding the base of his cock. The scent of leather filled his nose. Then Kaz pulled his head back until only his tip was in Nikolai's mouth. Nikolai gave an experimental flick of his tongue over the tip, lapping up the salty fluid there. Kaz groaned and tightened his grip in Nikolai's hair.
“Fuck,” he whispered, drawing out the word as he pushed Nikolai further onto his dick again.
Nikolai could not point out that was what he was doing, so he settled for running his tongue along the underside of Kaz’s dick, making Kaz hiss out a breath. He sucked, hollowing his cheeks.
“Shit, Lantsov,” Kaz said. “So good at this.” His fingers relaxed in Nikolai’s hair, his hand now just resting on his head, and Nikolai took the opportunity to set his own rhythm, bobbing his head back and forth along Kaz’s cock, sucking and licking along the way.
There was a certain obscenity in the way spit pooled in his mouth and drooled out as he went, about the wet sounds his mouth made around Kaz’s cock. Nikolai revelled in it. He’d had too much of being proper in his life, not enough freedom to truly let loose. Even as Sturmhond, he had certain rules that had to be followed at all costs, and not nearly enough time to pursue the things he truly wanted. This, the act of giving pleasure to someone else in all its messy vulgarity, was an act of radical rebellion that flew in the face of all he’d been raised with. It was as exhilarating as any heist or top secret mission.
And to be pleasuring Kaz Brekker of all people, a man with walls so high and thick that even the most skilled thief couldn’t get in, there was something almost miraculous in it. To make Kaz Brekker make those sounds, to be responsible for the heavy breathing and the closed eyes and the flushed face and the white knuckles on the table… Nikolai was awestruck.
Kaz’s grip tightened in his hair again, stopping Nikolai’s movement. He looked up to see Kaz watching him, a glimmer of something in his eyes. He wouldn’t call it love, not quite, but neither was it purely lust. It was carnal, yes, but there was more to it that Nikolai couldn’t place.
“Look so good like that,” Kaz rasped. “Pretty mouth on my dick, sucking me off so good.”
Nikolai gazed up at him as he swirled his tongue around his dick. Kaz’s eyes closed for a moment. When they reopened, a new sort of fire had entered them.
“You’re gonna be the first,” he said, voice rough. Nikolai raised his eyebrows and Kaz continued. “First to make me come like this.” His hips bucked, thrusting him further into Nikolai’s mouth. “I didn’t… shit , didn’t know if this would be good.” He continued rocking into Nikolai, holding him in place as he fucked his face. “But it’s…” Kaz’s voice trailed off as his movements became more erratic, his grip in Nikolai’s hair almost painful as he lost control.
“Fuck! Nikolai!” Nikolai had but a moment to marvel at Kaz’s use of his first name before the other man was coming hot and sticky into his mouth.
He pulled back as Kaz came down, wiping his ungloved hand across his mouth. He’d been right about the glove not staying clean. It glistened with his spit and Kaz’s sweat and probably other things as well. He watched Kaz as he pulled it off.
His chest rose and fell quickly, his face was flushed, and his dark eyes were glazed and unfocused. Not a bad job, Nikolai couldn’t help but feel.
As Kaz came back to himself, he blinked and focused on Nikolai, a small, fond smile on his lips. His hand floated down from Nikolai’s hair to cup his cheek, his thumb stroking away a droplet of something that Nikolai’s hand swipe had missed. Nikolai leaned into the touch, causing Kaz’s lips to twitch.
“I suppose I should return the favour.” His eyes flitted down to Nikolai’s lap.
“I’m more than capable of taking care of myself. This was about making you feel good.”
“Maybe it’d make me feel good to help you.”
Nikolai searched Kaz’s face for a moment. “Would it?” he asked seriously.
Kaz frowned, then shook his head. He pulled his hand away. “Too much touch, even with the gloves,” he said.
Nikolai nodded. He wasn’t really disappointed. He’d expected that he’d have to deal with his own reaction to their actions himself.
“I might…” Kaz’s voice drew his attention back up. He had turned his face away, in the direction of the window. “I might like to watch. You.”
“Oh?”
“If you’d like.” Kaz swallowed. “I could… talk.”
Nikolai sat a little straighter, unable to bite down on a teasing response. “You mean, you’ll tell me how badly you want my cock up your ass as I get myself off?”
“If you want to phrase it like that… yes.”
“Then please—” Nikolai rolled his hand through the air— “enlighten me.”
Kaz turned his head back toward Nikolai, but rather than acknowledge him, he took his time redoing his trousers. When he looked back at Nikolai, there was a look between mild surprise and amusement on his face.
“Well, aren’t you going to strip for me?”
Nikolai snorted. “And here I thought you were shy about these things.”
“Not having the words is not the same as being shy.”
“Fair enough.”
Kaz dipped his head. “Well?”
Nikolai made quick work of the buttons on his shirt, shrugging it off under Kaz’s watchful gaze, before rising somewhat unsteadily to his feet. Before he could start on his trousers, Kaz’s gloved hand was there, pulling him closer by his waistband. Nikolai looked up just in time to see Kaz’s smirk before he was pulled down into a kiss, slow and sweet and so utterly unlike any they had shared before.
Before Nikolai was done melting against Kaz, he had pulled away, eyes glittering as Nikolai tried to follow. He realized belatedly that, as they’d kissed, Kaz’s hand had been at work, undoing his buttons so that only his grip held Nikolai’s pants up. The sly bastard smirked, kissed him again, then let go and stepped back, leaving Nikolai to awkwardly toe off his shoes and step out of his fallen pant legs.
He stood bare before Kaz’s appraisal, awaiting some sort of verdict. Kaz’s eyes raked across his form, seeming to catalogue every detail, every scar and birthmark, every angle and plane of his body. Eventually, he nodded to the bed in the other room.
“You can lay down, if that’d be more comfortable.”
It wasn’t the first time Nikolai had lain in Kaz’s bed, but it was the first time he’d lain in anyone’s bed aside from his and Zoya’s in the nude. He delicately perched on the edge of the bed, trying not to think about what was going on behind Kaz’s inexpressive eyes, or about his ass on Kaz’s sheets.
Kaz stood in the doorway, cane once again in hand, and surveyed the scene.
“I said lay down,” he said, and the bite of command in his voice decimated whatever nerves Nikolai had been feeling, anxiety giving way to his libido. He slid as gracefully as possible onto the centre of the bed and tried to not look too eager for another order.
Kaz’s lips turned up and he muttered something that sounded like, “Thought that might work,” before pulling the stool away from his wash basin and settling onto it, his eyes locked on Nikolai. “Now,” he said, authority dripping from both his tone and demeanour, “touch yourself.”
Nikolai acquiesced, taking his dick in hand and beginning to stroke. Kaz watched impassively as he set a rhythm. After a moment of silence, Kaz said, “Do you like being given orders, Lantsov?”
Nikolai’s hand faltered for a second. He shot Kaz a wary look. Kaz tilted his head, the ghost of a smile on his lips.
“You like being told what to do.” A statement, not a question. “How to get off. You’d like it if I told you to get on all fours and rut into my pillow until you spilled your seed.”
Nikolai felt his face warm at the mental image even as his hand sped up.
“Or maybe—” Kaz’s voice was a low purr— “you’d like it better if I told you to stop before you came. To get so close, and let the moment pass you by, so you have to build up to it all over again.”
His moan was answer enough.
He could hear the predatory smile in Kaz’s voice as he continued. “Are you close, lekker ding? Do you want me to tell you to stop?”
He was close. And, saints help him, he did want Kaz to make him stop. “Fuck, Kaz, yes.”
“Yes?”
The bastard. “I want you to.”
“Then stop.”
And he did. The feeling of building release faded, leaving him aching for it.
“Good,” said Kaz, voice like honey and sugar. “Now, I have a question.”
Even in his lust-addled state, Nikolai could sense trouble. He tensed, eyes darting to Kaz’s face.
“You were the one who brought up your cock in my ass, Lantsov. Do you think about that often?”
Looking into Kaz’s inquisitive stare was too much, and Nikolai quickly turned back to the ceiling.
“Answer honestly,” Kaz warned. Nikolai was creative enough to complete the threat a number of ways.
He closed his eyes, hand beginning to move along his shaft again as he whispered, “I do.”
“Are you imagining that now?” asked Kaz. “Thrusting into my tight hole as you grip my cock? Coming deep inside me, filling me up?”
He certainly was now. The image of Kaz on all fours before him, bare ass ripe for the taking invaded his mind. He imagined how it would feel to enter him, to bury himself as deep as possible in Kaz Brekker, to fill him again and again…
He was so lost in the fantasy, he almost missed Kaz’s follow-up.
“Because I am.”
Three words, delivered in the deepest, roughest tones he’d ever heard from Kaz, were enough to push him over the edge. He cried out as he came, spurting over his hand and stomach.
As the aftershocks of his orgasm faded, Nikolai opened his eyes to see Kaz standing over him, a damp cloth in his ungloved hand.
“Allow me,” he said, cool as ever, as if he had not just admitted to imagining Nikolai plowing him from behind.
Nikolai blinked at him as Kaz, with surprising gentleness, began wiping the remains of his pleasure from his stomach.
“I could-” he started hoarsely, but Kaz cut him off with a look. With his gloved hand, he took Nikolai by the wrist and carefully cleaned each digit of his hand.
It was oddly intimate, this post-coital ritual, and Nikolai found himself transfixed as the cloth slipped over the back of his hand, swiping up the sticky residue. He looked up to see Kaz watching him, idly wiping the same spot on his hand as he studied Nikolai's face. Nikolai studied him right back, taking in the softness on Kaz’s usually shuttered face. The openness made Kaz look younger, his brow relaxed, his features losing much of the coldness that was always present. Nikolai was enchanted.
He watched Kaz's eyes flicker over his own face and wondered what the other man might be seeing there. Perhaps a similar relaxation of the many masks he always wore.
Before he could think too much on that, he cleared his throat and said, “I think you got that spot.”
Kaz looked down, as if he'd forgotten what his hands were doing. He ran the cloth between each of Nikolai's fingers once more, then gently set his hand down.
“All done,” he said softly, looking back up at Nikolai.
“Thank you,” said Nikolai, matching his volume.
“Least I could do.” Kaz shrugged. “Especially since you've given me some very good material for lonely nights.”
Nikolai shivered at Kaz's tone and the implication alike. Kaz's mouth turned up at his reaction.
“Though I'm sure the same is true for you.”
It was. He had, for a while now, had thoughts of Kaz Brekker in his bed, but now he knew the sounds he made in his pleasure, the way his face looked as he came, and what his voice would sound like as he ordered Nikolai to do the same. He tried not to think about that too hard, lest his body decide it was time for round two.
He swallowed and nodded. Kaz’s smile grew. He patted Nikolai on the arm with his free hand, then stood.
Nikolai watched him drop the cloth into the wash basin, then limp into the next room, stoop, and pick up Nikolai’s abandoned trousers. He tossed them through the doorway and they landed on the foot of the bed.
“Put those on and you can sleep there for tonight.”
“What about you?”
Kaz raised a brow. “What about me?”
“I thought you were… you know, at your limit. Touch-wise.”
Kaz dipped his head in acknowledgement but said, “It’s a big bed.”
It wasn’t that big, but Nikolai didn’t press the issue. If Kaz was comfortable enough to share the space, he wouldn’t argue. He slid his pants back on, half-watching as Kaz slipped his shirt off and exchanged it for an undershirt that would be more comfortable for sleep. He paused as Kaz stretched, admiring the shape of his back as his shoulder blades contracted, then relaxed. Kaz caught him staring in the mirror and smirked, rolling his shoulders back, then stretching one arm up and to the opposite side, in imitation of the stretches they’d both seen Inej do. Nikolai was half-tempted to turn away from the gratuitous show, but the only person he’d be spiting was himself.
When Kaz was done stretching and Nikolai was done staring, Kaz pulled his shirt on and discarded his remaining glove, Nikolai finished doing up his trousers, and Kaz crawled into the bed beside him.
“Goodnight, lieve,” said Kaz, turning down the lamp on the bedside table.
“Goodnight, sakharok,” Nikolai murmured.