Archive of Our Own

Nat made one rule when Van left Wiskayok for the dry heat and career opportunities of Los Angeles: I’m not going with you.

Van fought it many times, before the start of their freshman year of college rolled around and they moved, and many times after, texting and calling Nat at all hours of the night and day, begging her to come and enjoy the scenery.

Of course, she knew as soon as Van’s plane touched down there was no way they were ever going to come back to New Jersey. LA had the training Van wanted, and they could kiss girls in bars without getting weird looks, and people used the right pronouns more often than not. Even Natalie, in all of her best-friend glory, can’t make Wiskayok better than that.

So, she supports her friend. She flies out to visit them every summer, watches as their apartment gets more lived in, as they build a new community of friends around them, as they build a home for themselves.

Then she flies back home to Wiskayok and wonders if her stubbornness is worth it.

Things at home are better than they were, at least. She’s gotten herself a better computer, and a better apartment with paint that isn’t peeling. Turns out a lot of youtubers are willing to pay for someone else to edit their videos. And, contrary to what one would think, the pay isn’t half bad.

She makes enough to live comfortably, to buy groceries, pay the rent, and have some fun. She opened a savings account a little while ago. Opened her phone to an article that said that people should start saving for retirement as early as twenty, and she’s missed that by a year or two, but she has enough leftover cash, why not?

It still baffles her. She wires the money into the savings account every month and it hits her a little harder that she has a future to save for.

Meanwhile, Van is, of course, finding wild success in LA. They meet Taissa in their junior year, and, when Natalie gets the report on her, Van tells her that Taissa works for Yellowjackets. Nat has no idea what that is, and Van acts all shocked and upset–like they’ve ever mentioned it before–and sends Natalie the information of a youtube channel that seems more like an empire. It’s composed of several accounts, all of which produce different styles of content, all done with a cast that seems to be around ten people, one of whom is apparently Taissa Turner.

Nat watches a few of the videos Taissa is in–for Van, she tells herself, that’s all–and she’s more entertained than she expected to be. Judging from scrolling the thumbnails, she had expected something more juvenile, but it’s actually entertaining, and the people are pretty funny.

Taissa is an actor, which is a downside, but, of course, so is Van, so if Nat can accept Van, she supposes that Tai can get a pass, too.

Tai seems to be a core member of Yellowjackets. Nat knew this, but somehow she’s still surprised when she flies out to LA for Van’s college graduation and they say that they’ve been talking with Taissa’s bosses and they’ve already filmed one video and they are in the process of making more.

It’s a job, a paying job, doing what Van wants to do, so Natalie congratulates them.

Then Van leads her over to a woman sipping on a glass of wine–she seems familiar, somehow, like Natalie knew her in middle school and then never again.

“Nat, this is Jackie. Jackie, this is Natalie. My best friend and a very skilled editor.”

Jackie holds out her hand, which Nat shakes. She smiles, like she can tell that Natalie has no idea who she is, and Van conveniently left out a descriptor for Jackie. “Pleasure. I’m a co-owner of Yellowjackets, Van talks about you a lot.”

Oh. That’s where Nat recognized her from. She must have been in one of the videos she watched of Tai. Oh, hell, no.

Nat glares at Van, but they’re just smirking, sinking back into the crowd, and Jackie’s asking if Nat has a portfolio, and she does, but she really didn’t come to this thing to network, but a co-owner of several major youtube channels is asking if she has work to represent her skills, and she’ll be damned if this wouldn’t pay better than the vloggers she works for now.

It could be more fun, too. The vloggers usually only want clips cut together, background music spliced in, the occasional voiceover. It’s pretty tame stuff. But Natalie’s watched some of Yellowjackets’ videos, she knows they do some more complicated stuff on occasion.

She takes a part in breaking her own rule and picks out one of the more editorially complicated videos in her portfolio and passes her phone to Jackie.

By the time Jackie sashays out the door of Van’s apartment just shy of three in the morning, Natalie has her business email and a loose job offer scrawled on a paper towel, still damp from the wine it was ripped to mop up.

Van nudges Nat’s shoulder, throwing out the last of the sopping wet paper towels–the remainders of the sadly spilled wine.

“I have a spare bedroom, you know.”

Natalie balls up the paper towel in her fist. “Shut up.”

…

Van drops her off outside the Yellowjackets office on the day of her interview–she doesn’t have a car in the city yet, and they haven’t started working to get her stuff shipped out, Nat keeps reminding Van that she might not even have a job, but Van seems certain that she does.

Cool morning air on her skin, Natalie’s starting to wonder if this whole thing has been some sort of prank. Because the door won’t open. She’s tried pulling, she’s tried pushing, shoving her whole body weight onto this stupid little door handle, and it will not budge.

Nat’s so busy putting blood, sweat, and tears into this stupid fucking door that she doesn’t even hear the footsteps come up behind her, or the little laugh.

“It’s Jackie’s day to unlock. She always runs late getting coffee.”

Nat whirls around towards the new voice, finding a woman–tall, dark hair, pretty, smiling, sundress, pretty–standing a few feet back, holding an iced coffee and a bag of doughnut holes.

“She won’t be here for a few more minutes, most likely.” The woman holds out her bag. “Doughnut hole?”

Natalie examines her. This woman, odds are, works here. She probably isn’t trying to poison her coworkers, or whoever these doughnuts are supposed to be for. What the hell?

“Sure, thanks.” Nat reaches out and takes one, nodding as she chews.

She swallows, the doughnut was actually pretty good, and now they’re just standing there in silence, and how long is a few minutes?

“So, uh. You work here?”

The woman squints at her in the early morning sunlight, taking a sip of her coffee. After staring at Natalie for an unnerving amount of time, she laughs. “Sorry, I thought that was a joke. I do work here.”

Nat frowns, failing to understand the joke. “Why would it be a joke?”

The woman sucks on one side of her cheek. “Sorry. I want to answer your question, promise. But–can I ask why you’re here?”

“Interview? Editing position that needs to be filled ASAP? I’m at the Yellowjackets building, right?”

“Oh,” the woman smiles, shoulders dropping in ease, and she hadn’t seemed nervous before, but now she seems distinctly… less so. “Right, I forgot that was today. I was trying to feel out if you were like a stalker, but then you didn’t seem to recognize me, so that seemed weird, but I try to introduce myself to everyone who works here… anyway. I’m Lottie.”

Lottie. Nat’s looking her up and down, then realizes she should probably introduce herself.

“Nat. Or, Natalie, I guess. Nice to meet you.”

Recognition lights up in Lottie’s eyes. “Natalie! Van’s Natalie?”

“Best friends since kindergarten,” Nat affirms.

Lottie nods, seeming pleased with herself. “They talk about you a lot.”

“Jackie said the same thing.”

Lottie grins. “It’s true. They did fail to capture the whole…” Lottie gestures around Nat in a vague circle. “You thing you’ve got going on.”

Nat laughs. “What?”

“I dunno.” Lottie ducks her head. “You’re just… not what I expected.”

“Get used to it. Or don’t, I guess, if I don’t get the job.”

“You will.”

“Oh? You seem so certain.”

“Jackie texted me. She was really jazzed about the portfolio stuff you showed her. That, and we’re kind of really desperate for an editor. The last one quit pretty suddenly and we can’t just overwork our other editors but we also kind of need to maintain our posting schedule and we can only afford to pay them so much overtime…” Lottie shakes her head. “Not to give you a big head, or anything. But I think your skills are up to par.”

“Jeez, Lot. Give away all our other company secrets while you’re at it.” Jackie appears behind Lottie, hurrying past Natalie towards the door, brandishing her key. “Morning, Natalie, lovely to see you again.”

“Hi, Jackie.”

Jackie opens the door and ushers them inside.

“I’ll be conducting your interview just through there, if you’d just give me a few to prepare, please make yourself comfortable.” Jackie gestures about what appears to be a lobby space, hurrying off towards the room she gestured to, leaving Nat alone with Lottie.

“Well.” Lottie wiggles her eyebrows. “Have a nice interview. Break a leg.”

“Ugh.” Nat wrinkles her nose. “You are an actor.”

“What? You got a problem with actors?”

Standing only feet from Lottie, Nat realizes that, having met three actors now who aren’t completely intolerable, maybe she should start changing her opinion on actors as a species.

“Maybe.”

Lottie takes a step closer. She is tall. Like a fucking giraffe. She smirks, and her lips are nice looking, actually, but they’re so high up, and–

“Challenge accepted.”

Lottie turns and walks off, and Natalie isn’t sure what she challenged Lottie to in the first place, but she’s looking forward to finding out.

“Natalie?” Jackie’s head pokes out of the door of the meeting room. “I’m ready for you now.”

Nat swallows and heads for the door, her fresh introduction to Lottie giving her more incentive to want it.

…

She comes back the day of her contract signing. They’ve started working on getting her stuff shipped over–she’s getting tired of poaching Van’s clothes all the time, she likes her clothes–and today seems to be a not-Jackie-unlocking day because the door is unlocked when she arrives.

A woman is sitting behind the front desk, with dark brown hair, and, revealed as she looks up at Natalie, dark brown eyes. She pushes herself to stand as Nat walks inside, walking out from behind the desk.

“Hi. Natalie?”

Nat confirms it immediately, there’s something more intense about this woman than anyone else she’s met at Yellowjackets so far.

As soon as she thinks that, of course, the intense expression breaks into an easy smile. “I’m Shauna, the other co-owner of Yellowjackets. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

They head for the meeting room, the same one where Nat had her interview, while Shauna says that Jackie and a mysterious Misty will be joining them before anything is signed.

“I just wanted to go over a few details with you before they got here.”

“Okay.” Nat takes a seat, figuring this will be about her salary, or like, what percentage goes into her retirement fund. Like, she’s twenty-three, it’s not that big of a deal.

“I’m not sure how much of our content you have watched, but if you have watched, you may know that sometimes our crew are featured in videos. Sometimes it’s coincidental, if an actor runs off-set and a camera follows them you may be shown in the background, or if we are filming outside a soundstage, it’s possible you could be filmed. Sometimes it’s intentional, some of our crew members also participate in some Games videos or 'Try Not To Laugh' videos–”

“I’d rather not.”

Shauna doesn’t miss a beat. “Alright. No participation in videos, but is it alright if you appear in the background? We won’t seek you out intentionally, but if you’re in the background of a shot we could leave it in.”

Nat shrugs. “I guess that’s fine.”

Shauna nods, taking notes into her laptop.

“Out of curiosity… what kind of videos do you make just walking around the office?”

Shauna smirks. “Well, sometimes the actors will do bits for videos around their desks, which may be near a non-cast member’s desk, but we also do office hide and seek, which is anywhere in the building, and crew members are welcome to participate, so they may be featured either as hiding or simply caught on film walking around going about their day as the seeker looks.”

Oh, God. What is she getting herself into?

“Right.”

“I also want to warn you that Jackie is probably going to try and change your mind about the whole no-appearing-in-videos thing. Van has continuously said how funny you are, and, to be blunt, Natalie, you’re attractive. If you’re as hilarious as Van talks you up to be, you would be good for views.”

No. No, no, no. This is exactly why Nat wanted to stay away from LA. There are so many cameras, and Natalie does not want to be in front of them, she likes it behind them.

“I don’t want to.”

“I’m not trying to convince you. Just warning you that Jackie will.” Shauna looks down at all of the papers, sliding one with lots of information about filming and video consent. And something about residuals, whatever that means. “But ultimately, it is up to you. The contracts that we sign today will be binding until they expire this time next year, at which point we will review, but if you change your mind or Jackie wears you down before then, we can terminate this contract at any time and draw up a new one. But at this point in time, I’ll have it in our system that it’s alright if you happen to be in the background of a shot, but you won’t be featured in videos. That does mean that you won’t have rights to viewer bonuses or residuals, is that alright?”

All of this on top of her regular paycheck for the editing they’re paying her to do?

“That’s fine.” If anything, Van will find it funny when they finally catch her in a video.

Shauna nods. “Okay, then. That’s about it, other than that we’re a pretty normal office. Except that we ask you to keep our location to yourself, and if a soundstage is in use we ask you not enter until we’ve wrapped or are on a break. The kitchen is communal, if you don’t want something shared, put your name on it. Pretty standard office stuff. Jackie will probably want to give you the tour, she’ll show you around, introduce you to the people you need to know, show you to your desk.” Shauna shrugs. “Welcome to Yellowjackets, Natalie.”

…

Working at Yellowjackets isn’t as strange as Natalie expected it to be from her first impressions. That, or she just adjusted to the madness quicker than she expected to. It’s not that strange, not really. She adjusts to the schedule with little difficulty. Be quiet on shoot days, not that she makes a lot of noise at her computer with her headphones on, go to her weekly meetings, it’s really not very different from what she did before, this is just… more fun.

Her first video goes up, and it doesn’t do any better than the rest of Yellowjackets videos tend to, but it gets hundreds of thousands of views within a day, and her name is right there in the description, ‘Editor: Natalie Scatorccio’ and she feels, unexpectedly, proud.
Mel, whose desk is across from Nat’s, congratulates her, and she feels warm and happy.

…

One downside of working at Yellowjackets is that she doesn’t see Lottie Matthews as much as she would like. She followed her on social media after their first meeting, and, to her surprise, Lottie followed her back, but Natalie doesn’t have occasion to stray from her desk, and it turns out that Natalie isn’t the only person with eyes and Lottie’s actually in pretty high demand from viewers, so she’s filming more often than not.

To make up for actually seeing her in person, Nat takes to watching Yellowjackets. She tells herself it's to support the company–she works for them, surely she should be giving them her views–but if she clicks on a video and Lottie isn’t in it, she’s likely to scroll until she finds one with Lottie’s face on the thumbnail.

It’s research. Nat’s curious what the girl with the beautiful smile and even longer legs is like, even if it’s an on-camera personality. She doesn’t seem to be all that different in the videos, though, unless she’s playing a character. It seems like the viewers can sense it, too, because when she scrolls the comments many of them are commenting on how down-to-earth Lottie seems.

It’s a secret habit, of course, a guilty pleasure that Van would rip her to shreds for if they ever found out, but Nat gets butterflies in her gut whenever she passes Lottie at work, and it’s really getting out of hand, so she has to acclimate herself to the girl’s presence somehow.

Yeah. That’s all she’s doing. Acclimating.

…

Of course, the one time Shauna asks her if she’d be able to fill in for some PA is the one time that she actually has all her work done and no excuse to decline. It’s actually kind of important that they have someone else on deck, too. It’s a shoot day, with a livestream in the middle of the day, a fundraiser for some upcoming live performance. So, what else can she say but yes?

She stops regretting her decision the second she walks into the room and hears the laugh of Lottie Matthews. Of course she’s one of the people on the livestream, she’s the fan favorite. Van turns out to be on the livestream, too, so Nat doesn’t feel terribly uncomfortable.

The PA she’s filling in for usually works on sound, so she nods while Paul the sound guy gives her the basics–she doesn’t actually need to do anything unless something goes wrong–and the livestream begins. Everything is going normally–at least, Natalie thinks it is, she’s not usually in here while they film these things–but thirty minutes in, Paul's clutching his headphones and hissing at Nat that Lottie’s mic isn’t working and she needs to fix it.

Comments must be flooding in that the viewers can’t hear Lottie properly, because Laura Lee, director of the channel, steps forward with her laptop, announcing that they are aware of the issue and are working on fixing it.

Paul tells Nat that she needs to see if Lottie’s mic pack has been somehow turned off, if the batteries need to be replaced, or if she needs a completely new mic, so she stumbles onto the set amidst the chaos to find out.

Lottie offers her the mic as she approaches, unclipping it from her shirt, but it’s the source at the other end of the cord that Nat needs.

“Where do you have it clipped?” she asks.

“Waist of my pants,” Lottie replies, reaching down to a resounding click. The mic wire goes slack in Nat’s hands. She doesn’t move, but Lottie nods at her, so she pulls, dragging the mic up Lottie’s shirt until the pack is in her hands.

Van has somehow got their hands on Laura Lee’s laptop, and is giving live commentary on the viewer’s take on the situation.

“They’re jealous of you, Nat” Van says, chuckling to themselves as Nat fiddles with the mic pack, frowning.

She rolls her eyes at the thought, but Lottie smirks and says, “They should be,” and Jesus Christ, thank god her mic isn’t working. Nobody else needs to hear that. The chat must have some idea that Lottie said something dirty, though, because Van, Akilah, and Mari, the other cast members on the livestream, start losing it.

Nat flips the activation switch on the mic and taps it to no results. She gets new batteries from Paul to the same results.

“Sorry folks, looks like we need to switch Lottie’s mic,” Laura Lee says, watching the chat over Van’s shoulder.

Nat races off set to retrieve the fresh mic, finding Lottie leaning over into Akilah’s mic when she returns, giving a dramatic speech begging the audience to save her from her curse of silence.

Van cheers as she returns with the saving mic, and Laura Lee says, “On the bright side, you guys get to meet Natalie, who’s usually an editor and probably extremely pissed that she has to be in front of the cameras to fix this.”

Nat chooses to ignore it, handing the mic to Lottie.

“Clip it wherever’s comfortable and thread it under your shirt.”

Lottie arches an eyebrow, smirking. “Yes, ma’am.”

Lottie does just that, while Van chuckles at the live comments.

“They want you mic’d, Nat, so they could have heard whatever you just said that had Lottie looking at you like that.”

Nat gives Van a blank stare, then takes the mic that Lottie hands her from her shirt, clipping it on the neckline.

“Is that comfortable?”

Lottie nods. “It’s good.”

“‘Kay.” Nat takes a step back, crossing her fingers. “Testing?”

Paul turns her new mic up.

“Hi?” Lottie says, looking around for confirmation of success or failure.

Paul shoots her a thumbs up, and moments later, Van starts cheering as the comments roll in.

“You’re back!”

“Oh, my Gosh. Thank you, Natalie!” Lottie looks at her with a grateful smile.

Nat backs out of frame as quickly as she can, relieved that it’s over more than anything.

She retreats back to Paul’s side, afraid that he’s going to berate her for the mishap, he seems intense, but he just shrugs and says they resolved an issue that was outside of their control quickly and efficiently, and Nat feels like she’s passed some test she didn’t know she was taking.

Laura Lee lingers on the stream as they return to normalcy, going back to the color-by-number they’re completing as the activity, Van still keeping an eye on the comments, chuckling. Nat’s zoning it all out, keeping an ear on Paul should anything go wrong and he needs her again, but things like this rarely happen, so it happening again in the same stream is unlikely. Circumstances like this must have been what Shauna was talking about when she mentioned crew members being featured in videos “on accident”.

Van’s laughter registers distantly, and she hears talking and more laughing, but that’s pretty much what’s been happening the whole time, so she doesn’t pay it much mind. Then she hears her name, and her head whips towards the giggling cast, where Van has a hand on the computer keypad, laughing their ass off.

“It’s not hard to find,” Van says. “She’s the only hot Natalie I follow.”

Lottie notices her sharp attention on them. “They want your instagram,” she supplies, smirking.

Nat puts her head in her hands, mostly out of embarrassment, surprised to hear even more laughter. When she looks up, she’s surprised to see a camera pointed at her. This shouldn’t be embarrassing. This is fine. This is normal. Yet Natalie’s cheeks are burning and she’s pale enough that everyone knows it.

Van is laughing hysterically, clutching their stomach. Most of Nat wants to flip her friend off, but she doubts that that would be very well received by Shauna, so she just looks down and picks up her phone, trying to be less interesting to get the camera pointed away.

“Whoops!”

Crash.

There’s a collective groan of, “Lottie,” and the camera whirls back around to catch the action. Lottie has dropped the container of markers onto the floor.

“Sorry,” she says, leaning down to pick them up. Below the table, she meets Nat’s eyes and winks.

Nat smiles at her, grateful, understanding the intentional gesture to get the attention away from her.

“Our favorite klutz,” Mari says as Lottie puts the last marker back on the table. Lottie looks sheepish, picking up a marker and biting back a grin as she casts a final look at Natalie. The conversation moves onward, Laura Lee stepping back and taking her computer with her.

Natalie holds her breath, but it’s for naught. Her name isn’t mentioned again, no more cameras swivel around to look at her. She’s free.

She lets out a sigh, leaning back in her chair.

Paul pats her back, giving her a sympathetic smile. “Don’t worry, you get used to it.”

Nat’s not sure if she believes that’s true. She nods anyway, accepting the kind words.

She’s not quite feeling like herself yet even as the stream ends, the cast waving energetically at the cameras until Laura Lee announces that the livestream has officially ended. They sag back in their seats, chatting amongst each other and admiring the finished color by number.

“Okay, good job, team,” Laura Lee says, standing behind the tech desk. “Extra thanks to Paul and Natalie, and thank you Lottie for being a good sport. We’re on lunch, and we’ll be back in forty minutes for ‘Don’t Win’. If you’re not sure if you’re needed, check the call sheet. We raised $15,600 during the stream, well done everyone!”

The room murmurs thanks as they break for lunch. Paul puts their equipment away, collecting mics from the actors as they return them. Lottie walks over while Paul’s busy unclipping Mari, so Lottie turns to Nat with an arched brow.

“Could I bother you to unclip me?”

Nat nods, motioning for Lottie to show her where she’s attached it.

“You were great out there,” Lottie says as Nat threads the mic out from her clothing. “Your first time on camera is terrifying, especially when it’s live.”

Nat scoffs. “I looked dumb.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“I clearly had no idea what I was doing.”

“I couldn’t tell. You did the best you could, and you solved the problem in under three minutes. That’s good, Nat. Laura Lee wasn’t just being nice, you did well. You handled it like a pro.”

Nat swallows down more protests, looking into Lottie’s eyes for any hints of deception. Instead, she finds a troublingly genuine look in Lottie’s eyes.

Nat blinks, looking away, rolling up the mic cord and tucking the pack away. “Uh, thanks. For that. And, um. For earlier.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lottie’s eyes glitter with mischief as she walks off to have lunch.

…

Nat eats her lunch at her desk. She does that sometimes when she has a deadline approaching, grinding out an edit for review, needing the additional lunchtime to work. Today, she has no more work, she just needs to sit in a space that isn’t occupied by Lottie Matthews. She’s had entirely too much of the girl already, and she needs some time to calm down.

She’d never had the best impression of actors–besides Van, of course–doing theater tech in high school with some of the most awful, self centered people she’d ever met calling themselves actors had given them a bad rep in Nat’s eyes. But every cast member at Yellowjackets has been nothing but kind to her, even when they’re giving her a hard time. It’s a joke, it’s out of love.

Nat thinks back to when she first met Lottie, when they were first discussing Nat’s dislike for actors, what the woman said before she walked off, calves barely showing at the bottom of her sundress.

“Challenge accepted.”

It would seem she’s already done it.

It makes Natalie smile at her desk, even as an email comes through with the footage from the ‘Try Not to Laugh’ shoot from a few days ago, ready to be edited.

She clicks on the first clip, needing to get Lottie off of her mind. Instead, she’s greeted by Lottie sitting on the stool, introducing the video.

Nat clicks away from the video and drops her head down onto her desk.

She can’t escape this girl. This gorgeous, incredible girl, who keeps being nice to Natalie unprompted. This girl that she has absolutely no chance with.

God, Van can never find out about this, they’d lose their mind. Or worse, try to actually set Nat up with Lottie. That would be even more embarrassing, to be so publicly rejected.

Nat’s returning her attention to the footage, willing to bear through watching Lottie to get into the work mindset to escape from this awful rabbit hole.

Her phone buzzes and she checks it instinctively–there’s a Yellowjackets discord where Misty sends meeting information and coworkers frequently reach out to her there, or just text her if they have a question, so it’s not completely unprofessional. But instead of a work question, it’s a text from Van.

they got u

Nat doesn’t understand what they mean, until a second message comes through, clearly a screenshot of YouTube comments, presumably from the livestream. The comment reads ‘ok but miss natalie IS in fact fine did we find the @ 👀’. Troublingly, there’s a reply to the comment, with her instagram handle.

Natalie doesn’t reply, turning her phone off. She goes back to looking over the TNTL footage with a heavy sigh. This is exactly why she didn’t want to be featured in videos.

…

Two weeks later, she shows up to work to find Jackie waiting at her desk, which can’t mean anything good. It probably doesn’t mean she’s in trouble–Shauna or Misty would be waiting if that were the case–but this means that Jackie wants something from her, and Natalie doesn’t usually want to give Jackie the things she wants.

“I’m almost done with the Monopoly draft, I’ll have it out by the end of the day,” she says, putting her bag down, crossing her fingers that Jackie is here to do Laura Lee’s dirty work. The odds are slim, and hope is lost as Jackie shakes her head.

“Funny.”

Nat plops down into her chair with a sigh. Her desk chair is the kind that’s cushy and spins, Yellowjackets provided. Nat loves her chair.

Jackie sits down on Nat’s desk, tilting her head to one side.

“Y’know, Mari had to take the day off last minute. Family emergency.”

“Sorry to hear it,” Nat says, unsure of why Jackie’s telling her this.

“Yeah. Everyone’s fine, but she needs to be with them.”

Nat nods. That’s good.

Jackie pushes onward, nostrils flaring at Nat’s failure to read her mind. “Sooo, she was supposed to be in the Cards Against Humanity and ‘Culinary Crimes’ videos today, and we need someone to fill in.”

Oh, hell no.

“No way.”

Jackie rolls her eyes. “You’re so stubborn.”

“No.” Nat fixes her focus on her computer, turning it on and typing in her password, in the futile hope that being busy will make Jackie go away.

“Yes,” Jackie says, scooting closer to her keyboard. “Please, Natalie, you did so well on the livestream. They loved you.”

“Jackie, I can’t.”

“Yes, Nat, you can.”

“No, I really can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to.”

“But you’d be so good at it.”

“I’m telling you no.”

Jackie squints at her. She steps off Nat’s desk with a sigh.

“I’m going to get you in a video someday. Mark my words, Natalie. Someday, you’re going to be in a video and love it.”

“But not today.” Natalie has learned in her time at Yellowjackets that there is very little point to telling Jackie ‘never’.

“I guess not,” Jackie concedes, walking back towards the rest of the office. “If you’re not going to fill in, you’d better have that Moose Master draft done by the end of the day.”

Nat rolls her eyes. Jackie needs to cast herself in more Games videos. “It’s Monopoly. And I will. By lunch.”

“Alright, Whiz kid,” Jackie teases, ignoring Nat’s correction. “You do that. Have fun in your cave.”

She disappears into the hallway. Alone, Nat opens the blinds, just to prove a point.

Laura Lee winds up moving her schedule around to fill in for Mari. She has to move some important meetings, and it would have been easier if Nat had just agreed to fill in. She reminds herself that being in the videos is not her job and it shouldn’t be her problem. Besides, she had the Monopoly draft submitted by ten, way before lunch, which… if anything, maybe only proves that she would have had time to fill in.

She decides to keep that fact to herself instead of bragging about it to Jackie like she’d planned.

…

Nat and Van carpool to work most days, since their start and end times almost always overlap and they’re going to the same place. Sometimes, Van finishes shooting early and catches a ride home with Tai while Nat edits until the very last second. Sometimes, Nat finishes her editing early and drives herself home after checking that Van can drive with Taissa. Sometimes, like today, she finishes early and decides to tune into whatever it is Van’s doing. Today, that happens to be filming the Yellowjackets original game, ‘Who Memed It?’.

She makes it into the sound stage before they begin filming, bringing her laptop and water bottle and settling down in an off-camera corner where Van talks with her for a few minutes before filming formally starts.

Once it does, Nat opens her laptop, pretending to work while watching Jackie, who hosts the show, introduces the video.

‘Who Memed It?’, posted to Yellowjackets’ second channel, titled ‘Yellowjackets Hive’ is always more popular during filming, frequently drawing large crowds of available cast and crew, due to the nature of the show. Any member of Yellowjackets, cast or crew, in the week or so before filming, are welcomed to make memes about Yellowjackets and submit them to be viewed by the video’s participants, who will then enjoy the memes and guess who made them, writing their answers on whiteboards. Van is one of the contestants today, alongside Taissa and Shauna.

The last time they filmed WMI Nat had been absolutely slammed with work, and hadn’t been able to take the two hours to watch it be filmed, but everyone’s always telling her how fun they are to watch.

Being here now, she has to admit that the show is living up to the hype. The memes are good, and watching the contestants form guesses about who made it and reacting as the answer is revealed… Natalie can’t say that she regrets attending.

She especially enjoys herself as the show goes on and she realizes just how many of the memes are just vessels to roast and make jokes about the cast and even some of the crew. It’s a bit of a relief, really, it means her memes will fit in just fine. She isn’t really sure if any of her memes made the slideshow, but she made a few and sent them in.

She realizes at least one of her memes has made the cut when Jackie cues the transition and a very familiar picture pops up on the screen. There’s a moment of silence as the room reads the meme and Natalie holds her breath, hoping people like it. It’s just a stupid meme, but if people don’t laugh and then they reveal that she made it, she’ll be embarrassed.

Van gasps, exclaiming, “Hey!” and laughter bursts from all over the room.

The meme, not Natalie’s magnum opus, but something, is of Spiderman sitting on the edge of a building, resigned, in the dark and the rain, with the caption, ‘van when tai isn’t in the video with them’.

The room is laughing, and Van is scanning the room, jaw dropped, so Nat’s satisfied. It’s certainly enough payback for the amount of time she spent on the meme, which wasn’t much. Seeing her name among the four options of people who made the memes is terrifying and exhilarating. After some speculation, the contestants each write their answers down on a whiteboard and take turns presenting their answers.

Shauna flips her board around first, revealing ‘Natalie’ in scarily neat writing. There are some oohs and aahs from the audience and Nat catches a camera swinging towards her. She grins hesitantly, acting like she’s doing something important on her laptop that she can’t really get dragged away from.

Taissa guesses that it’s someone else, and Van specifically mentions that they don’t think it’s Nat, because while it’s certainly a joke she would make, they don’t think Nat would risk submitting memes and being put on camera for a reaction shot.

It’s a fair guess, and a month ago it would have been true. It still is, Natalie doesn’t particularly want to be on camera, but, when the answer is revealed and Nat’s name pops up on the board, the look of shock and amused betrayal on Van’s face as they stare at Nat makes it completely worth it. Shauna smiles broadly at Nat, pleased that her successful guess has garnered her a point. Taissa threw her head back and laughed when the meme was first revealed, and she shakes her head and smiles at Natalie now, so she knows there’s no hard feelings.

Laura Lee submitted a meme she made from a Yellowjackets screenshot, which is fine except for the fact that it’s from the livestream when Nat had to fix Lottie’s mic, and she’s taken it from the moment when Van read from the comments that the viewers were jealous of Nat and Lottie said they should be.

And Natalie never watched it. She was there, it was embarrassing enough in real life, she didn’t need to watch it and over analyze every move she and Lottie made. Now, she regrets never having watched it, because she’s completely unprepared for the look of shock and want on her face. She can only hope that it’s because she knows herself, that the average viewer wouldn’t be able to see that a small part of her liked it.

She’s holding Lottie’s mic out in front of her, but her eyes have gone wide, her jaw has fallen slack, and there’s a bit of pink on her cheeks. Lottie herself is smirking, which makes sense, it’s fine, but what has Natalie reeling is that Lottie isn’t looking at Van, or Mari, or even at the cameras, for their reaction. She’s looking at Nat. She’s looking at Nat and smirking, and the meme isn’t even about her, it’s just using her picture for a template, but whatever the meme does entail and the discussion about it goes completely over her head, she’s too busy processing and staring at the photo.

She needs to watch that livestream when she gets home.

A shoulder nudging her knocks her out of her trance.

“We look pretty good, huh?”

Nat looks up, startled to see Lottie standing there.

“You’re not supposed to enter a soundstage in the middle of filming.”

She regrets the words afterwards, but they just came out. She winces internally, looking at Lottie to gauge the damage, but Lottie just arches a manicured brow and takes a seat beside Nat.

When she speaks, her lips are brushing Nat’s hair and a shiver runs up her spine. “You aren’t going to tell on me, are you?”

Nat shakes her head no, afraid that if she speaks her voice will betray her.

Lottie, thankfully, seems satisfied. “Good.”

“It’s a shame you were late, though,” Nat says, checking her email to pretend like she’s busy, even though everyone who emails her is in here watching. “You missed my first meme.”

At that, Lottie looks genuinely regretful. “Do you have it on your phone?”

Nat checks, and she does. She shows Lottie, and she snorts before containing herself to a better-mannered smile and laugh. Lottie attempts to scroll, but Nat snatches her phone back.

“Uh-uh-uh,” she tuts. “No spoilers. If they don’t use it, I’ll show you after.”

Lottie pouts, but doesn’t try to take Nat’s phone back, and she is seriously distracting. Natalie’s not sure how anyone ever gets anything done with Lottie around, and she’s not even actually working.

The slideshow reveals who made the next meme, and the contestants are cheering and Nat completely missed the meme because Lottie’s sitting next to her, watching and laughing at the antics.

Natalie is paying enough attention to clock when Jackie says that the next meme will be the last. Or maybe she’s just lucky that Lottie isn’t doing anything exciting when Jackie mentions it. Either way, it’s important to her, because it means that they probably aren’t going to use the other meme she submitted. It’s a bit of a relief, and a little sad. Sad because she actually spent a while making it, and happy because she’s a little scared that it’s crossing the line.

So the odds that they’re going to use her meme are low, but, then again, she has no idea how many memes were submitted. Nat’s been assuming that they picked the best or least offensive memes to use, but maybe they use everything that they’re sent.

She’s holding her breath as Jackie says, “Okay, here we go, last meme,” and points at the screen.

She isn’t sure if she should laugh or cry when the slide switches, revealing Natalie’s meme.

The reaction is near-instantaneous; an uproar. People are screaming, people are laughing, Van is cry-laughing, Jackie is among the crew, nearly bodysurfing, and Shauna is sitting with Tai and Van, eyes wide with a hand over her mouth.

Lottie is laughing, deep-belly laughing with her head thrown back. She looks knowingly at Natalie, beaming, and nods.

Jackie returns to her post as the room calms slightly to normal levels of meme excitement.

“Okay,” Jackie says, gesturing to the meme. “So. You know.”

Shauna, sitting in the seat closest to Jackie, hides behind her whiteboard.

Natalie’s final meme, her masterpiece, displays a photo of Jackie and Shauna in one of their most famous couple-like photos. Below their faces she inserted several tweets from each of them declaring their love for the other and similar notions. Above it all, she put, in quotes, ‘which could mean nothing’.

Jackie glances at Shauna behind the whiteboard, grinning.

Shauna emerges, putting her board down and picking up her marker. “No comment.” She smirks and starts writing down her answer.

Shauna guesses that it was Taissa, Taissa guesses that it was Jackie, and Van guesses that it was Nat.

“I’ve learned from my previous mistake of not thinking she would submit,” they explain, “and I think this is exactly the kind of meme that she would make.”

“Alright,” Jackie says, turning back to the TV. “We have three different guesses and only one right answer. For our final meme, who memed it?”

When the slide changes, displaying Nat’s name and photo, the room, once again, bursts into chaos. Gasps, some screams, and Van standing up so fast that their chair falls down as they race to Natalie, shouting, “I knew it!”

A camera follows as Van pulls Nat to her feet and into a hug, and, for once, Nat doesn’t mind. She hugs Van back, and grins.

“I’m so impressed,” Jackie says, moving the TV back to display Nat’s meme again. “Some of these tweets…”

Nat nods. “I scrolled very far back.”

“Had to get those receipts,” Van says, punching Nat’s shoulder, still delighted that they were the one to get the point.

“It’s good journalism,” Tai says, smiling at her partner’s antics.

“That’s why I thought it was you,” Shauna says, still looking slightly puzzled that it wasn’t Tai.

Gradually, the room moves on, Nat sliding back to her seat beside Lottie and the cameras pointing back to the main attraction. Jackie starts announcing the point tallies and Nat’s going to try and pay attention but then something is moving over her head and something warm and solid is on her shoulder and–oh. Lottie’s strung an arm around Nat. Casually. Like that’s not flirting 101.

She takes advantage of the new closeness, bringing her mouth to Nat’s ear and whispering, “That killed, in case you didn’t notice.”

Natalie dutifully ignores the blush on her cheeks from the compliment and Lottie’s closeness.

“That was terrifying,” she admits.

“What? Why?”

“I thought I was going to get fired.”

Lottie waves a hand. “No. They run all the memes past Misty before putting them in to make sure there’s nothing troublesome. Besides, they can’t afford to fire you, you’re too good at editing.”

More compliments, this girl is going to be the death of her.

Nat’s so wrapped up in Lottie’s arm around her and her smell on Nat’s clothes that she completely misses Allie yelling, ‘Cut’, but when the room starts emptying out she takes notice.

And when Van walks up to her with their backpack and a huge smirk, she definitely notices.

“Hey, Nat,” they say, barely containing the teasing tone. “I was gonna head home, are you ready to go, or…?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m ready, just give me like two seconds.”

Nat tears to her feet before she can question herself, hurrying out of the sound stage and to her desk, slipping her laptop into her packed bag and following Van out. It’s all a blur, honestly, leaving so quickly, but as Van pulls out of the Yellowjackets office and starts heading home, AC just turning cool as they hit the highway, Nat frowns. She could have sworn that Lottie looked sad when Nat got up.

But that was crazy. Right? It had to be.

Or she was sad about something else.

Like… the work day being over?

Okay, maybe not that. But something else. It had to be.

There was no way that Lottie would be sad because Natalie was leaving.

Right?

…

The next time it happens is an hour or so into the work day. Nat’s just hitting her groove, editing the ‘Who Memed It?’ from last week. Van comes to visit her all the time when they get out of meetings or on filming breaks, so Nat doesn’t think anything of it when Van slides up to her desk and pulls up a chair.

“You know how Akilah’s taking a week off starting the day after tomorrow?”

Nat gives Van a look and goes back to work, because why does that matter?

“Well, her sister had the baby early, and she’s flying out this morning.”

Oh.

“And she was supposed to be in the TNTL today and the Reddit Stories tomorrow.”

Oh.

“Jackie put you up to this?”

“Is that a no?”

“Yes.”

Van sits up straight in their chair. “Yes? Really?”

Nat looks away from her work for the first time. “What? No. I meant yes as in affirmative to your question. It is a ‘no’, I’m not filling in.”

Van groans, spinning in Mel’s stolen chair. “Pleeeaaase, Nat? Jackie’s gonna have to fill in if you don’t, and she’s not ready. She takes, like, three hours to get ready!”

“Maybe Akilah’s sister’s baby should’ve thought about that.”

Nat drops her headphones back over her ears.

Van scoots their chair closer, giving it one last shot. “Please, Nat? It’ll be fun. And I’ll be there.”

Nat is unmoved.

Van wiggles their eyebrows. “And Lottie will be there.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean? Why would I care about that?”

“You’re not as subtle as you think.”

Nat keeps her eyes on the screen, praying Van can’t hear her heart beating wildly in her chest. “I’m not doing it, Van.”

Van sighs. “Fine. I’ll just tell Lottie all about how you burned dinner last night all shoot…”

Nat rolls her eyes. “Tell her whatever you want.”

That is a dangerous offer, but Nat isn’t scared. Van has some extremely grimy Natalie dirt, but, however dirty a secret Van has, they both know Natalie has something equally dirty. Van won’t say anything, and Nat knows it.

Van retreats, hands held up, and Natalie almost pities them; they have to go tell Jackie they failed and then they have to wait three hours while Jackie gets ready. Still. Not her fault, not her problem.

…

Natalie’s Minecraft days are behind her. She hasn’t thought about the game in years, since she was in middle school, except for her yearly binge that lasts a week before she banishes the game back to the pits of her distant memory. Still, she spent a lot of time on it when she was younger. She even first got into editing because she wanted to be an editor for Minecraft YouTubers.

Sort of, in a way, those dreams are coming true today. Van and Lottie are playing Minecraft for a Games channel video, and Natalie obviously has to come watch.

It seems to be going well. They spawn in, get their first materials, build a hut by nighttime to avoid the monsters, and start collecting some food.

There’s only one problem.

Lottie has never played before a day in her life.

They all knew it, that was the point of the video, that Van was obsessed with it and Lottie was excited but clueless. And Van’s a very good teacher, showing Lottie how to punch blocks, use her crafting table, explaining the mechanics, that she can’t fly in survival mode… There's a lot more to the game with fresh eyes than experienced eyes.

So, really, all things considered, Lottie’s doing amazing. Van quickly learns to prioritize getting a bed for Lottie, and ‘keep inventory’ is toggled to ‘on’ after a few traumatic losses. But Lottie’s keeping up pretty well for someone who’s never played Minecraft before in her life. She closes her eyes whenever Van kills livestock for food, but at first she wouldn’t let Van hit the animals at all. It’s an improvement.

Once they reach a field with flowers and she learns that they are a collectable item is when Lottie really starts to get into it.

Nat’s glad she came, watching her friends fool around and laugh. It is a fun game, watching them play reminds her of that, but, even more than she loves watching Van smile, Nat loves watching Lottie smile. The woman’s smile is contagious, and Minecraft seems to be making her do it a lot, especially when her eyes dart past the computer screen and land for a millisecond on Natalie.

It doesn’t mean anything, Nat’s sure. Lottie probably isn’t even aware she’s doing it. She probably isn’t looking at Nat, it just feels that way from her point of view, and people frequently feel that people are looking at them when that isn’t the case at all.

She shakes off the feeling of being watched, ignoring that it makes her feel giddy to have Lottie be the one watching her. Things are getting dire.

Van left Lottie to go mining, but Lottie stayed out too late and now she’s surrounded by a swarm of Zombies, Skeletons, Creepers, Spiders, and even a Witch or two.

“Van,” Lottie says, desperately pressing at the controls with inexperienced fingers, voice raising. “What do I do?”

“I don’t know, sorry,” Van says, eyes on their side of the screen, where they are engaged in a very serious battle with cave spiders. “Hit them.”

“I left my sword at home, I was collecting flowers.”

“At night?”

“It wasn’t dark when I left…”

Van sighs, casting a quick glance at Lottie’s screen and wincing. “Oof. Yeah, try getting away, Lot, but, worst comes to worst, keep inventory is on. Your flowers aren’t going anywhere.”

Van’s eyes are on Lottie’s side of the screen, but Nat catches a distinct view of light green on their screen, flashing white.

“Van,” Nat warns.

Van looks back at their screen just in time to get away from the creeper before it blows, reducing the total damage.

“Holy shit,” they say, collecting the dropped blocks and eating to regain health. “Thanks, Nat.”

“Nat,” Lottie calls, still surrounded by monsters, health rapidly depleting. “Can you get me out of here?”

With nothing but her fist and some flowers? Probably not, but she can try. She’d have better odds than Lottie.

Nat looks over at Laura Lee, who nods permission. Nat shrugs, stepping over into the view of the cameras and sitting beside Lottie on the couch. Lottie practically flings the controller into Nat’s lap. Nat picks it up, fingers settling comfortably on the controller. She gets her bearings, killing a few monsters right off the bat to Lottie’s cheers, but she’s far from out of the woods.

“Where’s the house?” she asks, looking around.

“Um…” Lottie follows Nat’s movements. “That way!” she points on the screen. “I think.”

It’s not perfect, but it’s the best they can do. Nat takes off in that direction, walking instead of sprinting to keep from reducing her hunger bar. She takes the time away to eat–Lottie brought some carrots, at least–filling the hunger bar so that her health will replenish.

“Ooh! How’d you do that?” Lottie demands, pointing at the red hearts as they refill themselves.

“Health regenerates if your hunger bar is full.” Nat nods at the drumsticks on the opposite side of the screen. Lottie oohs, nodding as Nat knocks out a few more mobs as they approach.

Thankfully, Lottie pointed her in the right direction and she successfully reaches the house, taking it upon herself to kill the rest of the mobs so Lottie can go to bed. She closes the door behind her and places an additional torch by Lottie’s bed, just to be safe.

“There you go,” Nat says, handing the controller back to Lottie, who almost seems to want Nat to keep it.

“Thank you,” Lottie says, putting herself into bed and putting the controller down, pulling Nat into a hug. “You’re the best.”

The hug conveniently places Natalie’s head near Van, who shoots her an insufferable smirk as an unstoppable blush coats Nat’s cheeks. Nat wraps an arm around Lottie, only to use the hand to flip Van off. Van gasps, shoving Nat’s hand away.

“Van!” Lottie scolds, missing the crude gesture, “don’t push her.”

Van scoffs. “She started it.”

Nat sticks her tongue out at Van. “Did not.”

Van shoots her a look, like, seriously? “Did too.”

“Did not.”

“Did too!”

Nat’s opening her mouth again to proclaim her innocence when Lottie interrupts them. “Children, children. Please, stop fighting.”

“Yeah,” Nat says, looking pointedly at Van.

“Don’t you have a video to be editing?”

Nat just bursts into laughter at that.

Van grins, seeing that the bit is making Nat laugh. “Like, what are you even doing here?”

Lottie’s smiling, so Nat’s pretty sure she’s following that this is play-fighting, and she’s playing along when she jumps in. “I want Natalie here. I like her company.”

Playing, playing, playing. They’re joking around. Lottie doesn’t actually want her around.

Van finally finds a safe place to put their bed down and goes to sleep, the day resetting and popping both of them back on the ground, lights up for the morning.

“I’ll let you guys focus,” Nat says, getting to her feet to lead herself off-camera.

Van and Lottie speak at the same time, so Natalie can’t be 100% sure, but she’s pretty certain that she heard the following.

Van; “Yeah, let me grind in peace. I’m tryna find diamonds, baby.”

Lottie; “Nooo. You help me focus.”

She keeps walking until she’s certain she’s off-camera, to look back and see Lottie pouting at her, before giving up and turning her attention back to the game, lower lip still stuck out the slightest bit. God, she’s adorable. Natalie hadn’t known it was possible to find a woman as attractive as she found Lottie before she met her.

Even worse than that terrifying fact that she would be unable to process for at least three business days, what did Lottie mean by that? Had she really said that Nat’s presence calmed her down? What did that mean? Did she mean it at all, or was it just a show for the cameras? If it was, why would she lie about it?

Her head spins just thinking about it, and she’s missing out on valuable Minecraft Viewing time, so she does her best to dismiss the thoughts.

She stares at Lottie for the remainder of the shoot, chewing on her lip and overthinking it.

…

The third time, Jackie gets smart. She gets very smart. Genius, one might say.

Lottie pads into the editors office, a space she rarely enters, not being an editor, but when she does come in she’s usually sharing food. Lottie does that a lot, Natalie’s learning. Buy drinks for everyone when they go out, cover everyone’s bill at the restaurant, bring in a bunch of doughnuts to the office for breakfast.

Not that Natalie’s complaining.

But when Lottie walks into the editors office that morning with only two coffees and two doughnuts, it’s safe to say that Natalie’s taken by surprise.

“I’ve been wondering,” she says by way of greeting, setting one of the coffees in front of Natalie. “Why it is that you have your anti-actor thing.”

“I don’t have an anti-actor thing.”

“I told you to ‘break a leg’ before your interview and you flinched. I kinda thought you were gonna barf.”

Nat fiddles with her fingers.

“What, did you have a traumatic High School Musical viewing experience? I get it, that pre-awakening stuff can be tough.”

“Whoa.” For multiple reasons. ‘Pre-awakening?’ “You got freaky to High School Musical?”

Lottie’s lips quirk, taking Nat’s response as an invitation, pulling up a chair and sitting down at Nat’s desk. She slides one of her donuts towards Nat. “I’m going to do you a favor and ignore ‘getting freaky’ as your choice word for sex. You didn’t?”

Nat shakes her head, ignoring the blush that’s spreading across her face, thinking of the times she caught the actors at her high school in compromising positions. Gross. “Not my style.”

Lottie hums, taking a sip of coffee. She nods at the coffee and doughnut in front of Nat, which she hasn’t touched out of worry that they’re not actually for her. “Take it, please.”

Nat sighs, picking up the doughnut and taking a bite, knowing Lottie won’t let this go. “Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Feed people. Or… pay to feed them, that is.”

“Nuh-uh. We’re talking about you, not me.”

Nat rolls her eyes, taking a sip of the coffee and then another, surprised. It’s exactly how she likes it.

“I have done it before,” Nat says, feeling criticized under Lottie’s rapt attention even though her gaze is nothing but earnest. “Just… not to Disney channel originals.”

“Oh, I get it.” Lottie nods seriously. “You saved it for the theatrical releases. Snobby, I like it.”

Nat laughs, rolling her eyes. That’s not what she meant and Lottie knows it.

“Is that the start of your actor thing? Disney channel originals?”

Nat puts down her coffee, looking at Lottie long and hard. She tilts her head, arching an eyebrow. She really wants to know. Nat can’t figure out why, but, for some reason, Lottie seems extraordinarily set on getting an answer out of her.

Nat sighs, picking at her nails as she considers what to tell Lottie.

“I started painting sets for the shows in middle school, and in high school they had me stage manage. The students who acted in those shows were… awful. They were cruel, and they thought they were the height of talent when they wouldn’t have been able to recognize good acting if it was a quarter of an inch from their eyes. I had Van, obviously, and they were bearable, but the kids weren’t exactly nice to Van, either.”

Lottie just nods, listening.

Nat takes a drink of coffee, shrugging. “I thought, after four years of that, that it was an actor thing, but I’m starting to realize that it was a ‘that group of people’ thing.”

Lottie grins. “Well, I’m happy to be part of helping you see the light.”

Nat squints at her. “I dunno. Some actors are definitely still a little too arrogant.”

Lottie’s jaw drops in offense. “I am not arrogant.”

Natalie hums. “Sure. Keep telling yourself that.”

Lottie scoffs. “I buy you coffee, doughnuts, and this is how you treat me.”

Nat takes a big, messy bite of doughnut, chewing with her mouth open.

“And for your information, I grew up with more money than I knew what to do with, so doing something small for me that I know could be big for others, like providing food, is a little way to remind myself that I’m not my parents. They would never do anything that didn’t directly benefit them.”

Nat’s coffee suddenly tastes even better. She watches the other woman carefully, hoping that her expression conveys the openness and empathy that she feels.

Lottie’s phone chimes. She checks it, and purses her lips.

“Somewhere to be?”

Lottie looks at her, like she’s holding back a smile and a frown at the same time, and the distant worry that Lottie isn’t just here to chat is suddenly at the front of her mind.

“Shauna had to take off today. Her cat’s sick.”

Nat sighs, already knowing where this conversation is going, sensing the unasked question.

“Lottie–”

“I know. I know you don’t want to, and you don’t have to. I just want you to hear me out.”

Natalie does not want to hear her out. If it were anyone else, her mind would already be set on ‘no’.

But it’s not anyone else. It’s Lottie, sitting here and asking Natalie to do something for her. And Natalie really likes saying yes to Lottie. She really likes Lottie, in general.

She purses her lips, crossing her arms over her chest, looking at Lottie pointedly, her message clear.

I’m listening.

A small smile lights Lottie’s lips ablaze as she hurries to make her case. “Oh! Cool. Okay, so we only have one video to film today, Sniper Chess, and it’s a team game, and I was supposed to be on a team with Shauna, so you’d be on my team, which I think is a plus. The other team is Tai and Van, which I also think is a plus, and if you try it and you hate it we can forget about it and reshoot another day when Shauna’s back. And… I’d really like it if you did it. I love Shauna, but I … I’d like having you on my team more.”

Natalie blows out a long breath. On one hand, she hates attention. Van tried making a vlog once, and Nat couldn’t bear to sit and talk to the camera. She could hardly even stand sitting in front of it in silence while Van talked. She volunteered to edit the vlog on the condition that she never had to appear in it again.

On the other hand, she likes Lottie Matthews. A lot. A scary amount. And this is an opportunity to spend her day with Lottie. With Lottie and cameras, but with Lottie nonetheless. And it would only be Van and Tai in addition, which really isn’t so bad.

And it’s 'Sniper Chess', a Taissa Turner original, involving chess enhanced by players being allowed to use nerf guns to shoot at their opponents pieces at the start of each turn.

Natalie is both enchanted by the idea and never wants to play the game in her life. She’s being handed the opportunity to try it now, all while standing beside Lottie.

The doubt and anxiety is flooding her, but Lottie’s sitting patiently, her smile a lifeline from the depths of Natalie’s mind.

“Do you mean it?”

Lottie blinks. “Hmm?”

“Do you actually want me on your team, or are you just saying that because Jackie told you to convince me?”

Lottie smiles at her, and Natalie would believe anything she said, even if she told Nat that the sky was purple. “I mean it, Nat. I’d really like to play with you.”

Nat lets out a long breath. Is she really about to do this?

“Okay.”

Lottie’s grin is hopeful. “Okay?”

“When’s our call time?”

Lottie squeals, pulling Natalie into a hug. “Thank you!” She releases, holding onto Nat’s shoulders. “I’m so excited.”

She takes Natalie’s hand, leading her out of the editor’s office/cave skipping.

“Babies first video!!” she says, looking back at Nat, undeniably beaming.

Nat can’t figure out what to think about Lottie being this happy about this development. “Don’t get too excited, it could also be my last.”

Lottie rolls her eyes. “Please, this is step one of many in Jackie’s master plan. You’re going to be the new me by the time she’s done with you.”

Natalie makes a mental note to have a long discussion with Jackie about her future at the company. For now, Lottie’s leading her into the sound stage where they film Games videos and Van’s jaw is dropping as Paul attaches a mic to the collar of their shirt.

“Natalie?” comes Tai’s voice of complete skepticism, like she’s 99% sure that it’s a Natalie lookalike rather than the real thing that Lottie’s leading in.

“Holy shit.” Van is bound to Paul’s side as he runs the mic cord down their back, but their eyes practically pop out of their head as they stare at Nat.

“Natalie.” Laura Lee is the director of the Games channel and presumably the video. “You’re good to fill in for Shauna?”

“Yes.” Nat can’t believe the words coming out of her own mouth. Surely someone else has come and possessed her body, because this cannot possibly be Natalie in control. One of the awful actors from high school must be in her body right now, because this is what they would want, not Natalie.

Then Lottie looks back at her and smiles, and, oh, right, maybe this is something she wants after all.

Laura Lee looks at her seriously. “Okay?”

It occurs to her that Laura Lee had been talking that whole time, and Natalie heard none of it.

“Okay.”

“Alright.” Laura Lee smiles, like even she understands how much it took Nat to get here, and nods towards Paul, where Van has just been freed. “Let’s get you mic’d–Lottie, you too–and then we’re good to get started.”

Natalie stands in silence as Lottie has her mic put on, Van and Tai come and chat near her, but she has nothing to contribute to the conversation.

Lottie finishes getting her mic on and steps aside, Paul smirking at her as she walks up.

“How’s it feel to be on the other end?” he asks, handing her a pack to clip to her pants.

Nat surveys the set, where a chess board is set up with a stool a few feet away, two nerf guns resting on it.

“Weird.”

He laughs, accepting the mic as she hands it back to him, running it through her shirt. “Break a leg.” He clasps the mic to her shirt and releases her.

They gather around the nerf guns while Taissa introduces the video, to Nat’s relief no one makes a big deal of her presence, Tai just points her out and states her name the same way she does for Van and Lottie. With the intro filmed, a PA passes them goggles which they put on, Lottie and Taissa taking the first game as the shooters while Natalie and Van move the chess pieces.

It’s actually fun, which Natalie wasn’t expecting. She knew the games weren’t rigged, it wasn’t like the sketch comedy they did on the main channel, but she wasn’t expecting to feel so comfortable. She’s having a good time, laughing at Van’s lack of understanding of the rules of chess, racing away from the board after they’ve made their moves to clear the path for Lottie and Taissa with the nerf guns.

Van and Taissa win the first round, Tai shooting most Lottie and Nat’s pieces off the board on her turns while Van moves pieces at random and looks at Nat for approval to ensure the move is legal.

After shaking hands, they swap, Nat and Van taking the nerf guns while Lottie and Taissa move the pieces. Van goes first, leaning on the stool and squinting into the crosshairs of the nerf gun. They knock one of Nat and Lottie’s pawns off the board in their five shots, frowning as they step back, unsatisfied with their effort.

“Warming up,” they state, smirking at Nat, daring her to do better.

“It’s okay,” Tai reassures them. “Better than nothing.”

Nat picks up her own gun, ignoring the rapid increase in her heartbeat. She hasn’t touched a gun since she was sixteen and she handed her father the weapon that killed him. It’s not a real gun, she tells herself, but there’s a safety and she has to take a minute to stare at it and feel the plastic in her hands before she can bring herself to switch it off.

And she can feel Lottie’s eyes on her, concern growing, and she pats Nat on the back and says, “You got this,” and it’s not the most excited encouragement, not the loudest, but it’s exactly what she needs.

She’s still swallowing down a lump in her throat as she takes her place behind the stool and aims, bringing her gaze to the crosshairs, aiming at Van and Tai’s pieces.

Lines up her shot…

Shoots.

Van and Tai’s sighs of relief mix with Nat’s sigh of disappointment. No hit.

But there’s five foam bullets in the nerf gun, and Natalie gets to take all five of the shots. It’s not over yet.

Natalie takes a deep breath to calm herself, smiling as she hears more quiet cheering from Lottie.

She lines up her shot again, weighing the plastic in her hands, eyes laser-focused on the king. She thinks about Lottie, how happy she would be if Natalie hit a piece.

She shoots again, and, to her delight, hears a resounding clink of pieces being hit. She pulls her goggles off to check the board, just as she hears Tai gasp and exclaim, “No way.”

Nat looks at the board and quickly sees the source of Tai’s shock. She’s hit the king. Lottie starts laughing, pulling Natalie into a hug. Nat can see, in the corner of her eye, Van looking confused and Taissa explaining that if the king is compromised, the game ends. That normally involves checkmate, but being knocked over by the nerf gun in Sniper Chess is just as deadly.

She sees that, sees crew members off camera craning their necks to see what happened, looking in shock at each other, but Lottie’s hugging her, caressing her hair, whispering what a good job she did, and Natalie would really rather be elsewhere. Ideally, alone with Lottie.

“So, the game is literally over,” Tai says as Nat and Lottie part. “I think you guys should get that win, but in the future we should try not to hit the king.”

“Oh, you can’t handle that Nat’s better at shooting than you are?”

Taissa and Lottie go on to bicker about the rules, Tai clarifying that the current win will be kept, there’s just less gameplay if they’re just going back and forth hitting each other’s king while Lottie demands that Tai put some respect on Natalie’s name.

They swap who’s shooting and who’s moving the pieces again, Van and Nat going back to the chessboard before Lottie and Tai have even had a chance to touch it.

It’s fun, and Natalie’s surprised that the cameras and holding the nerf guns and shooting them isn’t really affecting her. There was definitely anxiety the first time she held it, but it went away quickly when she realized that the only thing she was hitting was chess pieces, and even if she did somehow hit a person, it wouldn’t hurt them. It’s just her, Tai, Van, and Lottie having a blast.

Jackie can never find out that she’s actually enjoying herself, she does not need the ego boost.

They wrap up a fifth game, Lottie proclaiming, “Checkmate,” to a spluttering Tai, and Laura Lee says that they’ve run out of time and they have to record the outro.

“Who knew Natalie was a sharpshooter?” Van says as they stand before the cameras, grinning at Nat.

“It was scarily impressive,” Lottie agrees.

“I’m jealous,” Tai says.

Nat just shrugs, not knowing what to say. Explaining her dad and his hunting trips and his traumatic end is not the upbeat wrap-up Laura Lee wants, so she just keeps her mouth shut and lets the flush in her cheeks invite the audience to think that she’s overwhelmed by the attention. Which wouldn’t be wrong, either.

Tai launches into the “Thank you so much for watching, make sure to hit that subscribe button…” schpiel and Natalie stands, grinning, waiting for Laura Lee to cut the cameras. As she does, she feels something brushing up against her hand. She looks, finding Lottie’s hand, covered in rings, reaching for her.

Her heart skips a beat. This gesture, something so simple, something that probably means nothing to Lottie.

Nat looks at her, she’s looking at Tai, nodding, smiling, hand moving around Nat’s side, seeking contact.

Nat bites her lip. Takes Lottie’s hand in hers. She watches as Lottie, still looking at Tai, smiles wider. She squeezes Nat’s hand, and Nat feels her own grin widening.

If anyone notices, they don’t say a word, and Laura Lee yells “Cut!” and says, “That’s a wrap on Sniper Chess Two,” and Paul walks over to start taking their mics off, and Lottie walks over, releasing Nat’s hand as she goes, and Natalie’s hand is tingling.

And Jesus does she need to get a grip. It’s just hand-holding, it’s not like Lottie asked her out. God Nat wishes she would, though.

Paul takes her mic off and people are thanking her left and right for filling in, but Lottie’s words are the only ones she really hears.

She goes back to her desk numb, sitting in her silly little chair where she edits her silly little videos, and she rests her chin in her palm and thinks of Lottie.

…

They’re at lunch, Van scrolling dumb filters on Nat’s phone after insisting that she make a TikTok since more Yellowjackets fans seem to be following her. Nat learned years ago that when Van had their heart set on something like this it was easiest to just let them have their way and participate as little as possible. They’re editing the video, an irony Natalie finds hilarious but opts not to point out, when they gasp and start giggling.

“Oh, my God.”

They immediately have the attention of the table, which consists of Tai, Lottie, Akilah, and Jackie today. It changes daily.

Van passes Nat her phone, showing her a text she’s just received.

“That’s what you saved his contact as?”

Nat looks down at the message from ‘travis the loser’ and wrinkles her nose.

“He kept texting me last year after I very clearly told him ‘no’, it was fitting.”

“God, I hate him.”

Nat rolls her eyes, moving to block the number instead of replying. “I know. You told me daily.”

“He just sucked so bad, you could do so much better.”

“Told me that, too.”

“Sorry,” Jackie says, no doubt smelling an opportunity for gossip and Natalie lore. “Who?”

Van looks at Nat, giving her the opportunity to turn the question away. Nat just sighs. It doesn’t even matter, anymore, Nat’s never going to see Travis again.

“This guy I used to date in high school that won’t take a hint.”

“He was awful,” Van says, launching into the Travis Highlight Reel.

Nat sits back as Van chronicles the tales of the Big Bad Ex, watching the reactions around the table for amusement. Lottie seems horrified, Nat supposes she’s probably never had a negative dating experience–looking the way she does and with her money and charms–excusing herself halfway through Van’s story. Nat considers following her, she does seem a little upset (which seems odd, Natalie has no idea why this would upset her, they’ve talked about much worse over lunch) but then Van starts telling the iHop story, and that she absolutely cannot miss, so she just casts a final glance over Lottie’s shoulder and watches her go.

Probably nothing, right?

…

It occurs to her, six months into this new job and what feels like even longer crushing on Lottie, that she doesn’t even know if the girl is attracted to girls. Sure, Nat could make an assumption, Lottie definitely gives off that vibe, but she really doesn’t want to flirt with someone based on an assumption, especially not in the workplace. It’s one thing at a bar, to walk up to a pretty woman and give it a shot, but a coworker? Lottie? It’s unfathomable, and Nat wouldn’t be able to live with herself if Lottie told anyone else.

The thoughts swirling in her mind are distracting, but the very same voice that she’s been thinking about draws her out of her thoughts.

Lottie. In the video she’s editing, it's not as exciting, but whenever Lottie is in her view, in person or through a screen, Natalie’s mood improves measurably. Like, it’s a miracle Van hasn’t noticed yet, because Natalie has caught herself flat-out staring a few times, and Van has an impressive ability to notice things whenever Natalie particularly does not want them to.

It’s a “Let’s Do This!” that she’s editing, the theme of this particular episode being getting dates. In it are Shauna, Lottie, Akilah, and Mari. They’ve been taking turns presenting their solutions, which, so far, have been “be hot” and “be confident”. Nat’s just doing rough cuts right now, editing the different camera angles into a cohesive viewing experience. Additional touches and proper transitions will come after.

Lottie’s standing before the group next, preparing to announce her solution.

“I play a long con,” she says, grinning as her audience agrees and makes quips. “It might seem silly, but spending time with someone and getting to know them is my personal favorite way to get a date. It helps me establish if that person is someone I actually want to go on a date with or not.”

“Quality over quantity kinda gal,” Mari muses, nodding. “I can respect that.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I partake in a good old-fashioned one-night-stand on occasion, but for the people that stick, I prefer a friends-to-lovers kind of situation.”

“The situationships I’ve gotten Lottie out of…” Shauna shakes her head.

Lottie ducks her head. “I never said it was easier. It’s just my preferred method. Now,” she turns to a television on a stand beside her. “Step One: The Meeting. I meet someone, I find them attractive. I ask them for their number or find them on social media to ensure that I have a means of contacting them in the future. If the vibe is flirty, I let it be flirty. If it’s not, I’m friendly, I read the room.”

Nat’s heart is pounding in her chest. Is Lottie talking about her? Did she do this internally when they first met? The doubt in her head is telling her that Lottie never asked for her number, but she did start following Nat on instagram at some point. And she did, after all, think they were going to be coworkers, that would give them a means of contact. Perhaps it was a special circumstance. If she was even thinking of Natalie like that at all.

“Step Two: Getting to Know Each Other. This is when I really start to figure out if this person is someone I actually want to go out with or if the initial attraction was just physical.”

Her and Lottie have definitely been getting to know each other over the past few months. But was it intentional? Was Lottie seeking her out this way, with dating in the future in mind? Or was it just hanging out with Van’s best friend, getting to know the new coworker?

“Step Three: Start Dropping Hints. Some sly flirting, some physical contact beyond friendliness. This is where things can start to get messy, if the recipient doesn’t understand, or if they reciprocate without really giving me any other concrete signals of if they understand.”

“That’s called a situationship,” Shauna says pointedly.

“Which leads me to Step Four: Getting the Date. If it’s been smooth sailing so far, or if the boat is still in the sea at all, I’ll ask her out on a date.”

Lottie keeps talking, but Natalie’s mind is frozen. She doesn’t pause the footage, she doesn’t exit the editing software. Her brain has completely short-circuited.

Her.

So Lottie is into girls. It’s not completely impossible that she could be interested in Nat.

“What’s gotten into you?”

Mel, Nat’s desk neighbor walks over with coffee and a smirk.

Nat shakes her head, pausing the footage, coming back to herself.

“Nothing. Nothing, I’m fine.”

Mel nods, eyebrows raised. “Sure, sure, right. Your video’s doing well, by the way.”

“Moose Master?” It’s a game they play routinely on the Games channel, Nat edited the most recent video that went up a few days ago.

“No. That one’s not doing bad, but I meant the one you were in. Sniper Chess 2. The views are high, and the fans are talking about you.”

Nat frowns. “I don’t want them to talk about me.”

Mel snorts. “Good things, don’t worry. They find your shooting abilities and, quote “general aura” very attractive.”

A small amount of fear that had been coiling in her stomach, concerned that people would have picked up on Lottie holding her hand near the end of the video, evaporates.

“Oh. Okay. Cool, I guess.”

Mel laughs and shakes her head. “You really are something else. Jackie’s gonna come by later, by the way. Something about changing contracts. Lottie told me to tell you.”

Nat frowns, for several reasons. A) changing contracts? What? Nat was in one video, she doesn’t need a new contract for that. It was a one-time thing. B) Lottie told Mel to pass on the message? Normally Lottie comes to talk to Nat herself, even if it’s about something not related to work.

She goes back to editing and it doesn’t help lift her concerns remotely.

…

Something is definitely up. It’s not like Lottie comes to say hi every morning, but she usually comes by at least once a week with doughnut holes for everyone and spends a few extra minutes at Nat’s desk, just chatting.

There have been doughnut holes, Lottie’s not a monster, but there have been no extra minutes at Nat’s desk catching up, just tight-lipped smiles and “See you later”s that have left a pit in Natalie’s stomach. What did she do wrong?

She rotates eating lunch with people from editing and Van, and Lottie usually rotates in a similar manner, their lunches with Van usually overlapping. Lately, Lottie’s been sitting with Van on the days that Nat sits with Mel and the others, and elsewhere when Nat sits with Van.

It’s not like they were best friends before, or anything, but they talked. They joked around, they smiled at each other, and then Lottie would put her hand on top of Nat’s and she would ignore it because the alternative was overwhelming, but she wouldn’t pull her hand away. She would always let Lottie be the one to end it.

She supposes that’s what Lottie’s done, on a grander scale. End it. Whatever “it” even was.

Natalie’s tired of her brain working overtime, and she’s tired of Van frowning at her whenever Lottie walks into a room and averts her gaze to anywhere except Nat. Most of all, she misses Lottie.

…

It’s a normal morning. Nat’s sitting in the editing cave with her breakfast, reviewing a rough cut of a ‘Reddit Stories’ she finished yesterday before she starts adding transitions and any edits specific to the video. It’s quiet in the editors office, the hours are fairly flexible as long as everyone gets their work in on time and attends their meetings, so Natalie’s usually the only person in this early in the morning (Van’s call time was eight A.M. sharp).

The sound of clinking feet on the tiled floor surprises her, even more so when she looks up and sees Lottie Matthews walking towards her desk.

More surprising, still, as Lottie gets closer Nat realizes that Lottie has definitely been crying.

“Hey, Nat.” She puts down one of two coffees in her hand on Natalie’s desk.

“Hi, Lottie,” Nat says, cautiously taking the coffee, unsure of how to proceed with Lottie in a state like this. “What’s up?”

Lottie averts her gaze. “Not much. What are you doing?”

“Working on the ‘Reddit Stories’ for next month.” Nat looks Lottie over again. She’s dressed like usual, but she’s not wearing the makeup she usually does. She looks gorgeous, don’t get her wrong, but she doesn’t look finished. It’s stage makeup, really, and Lottie’s filming today, and she always has her stage makeup on for filming. Except today, when she’s clearly been crying and is standing sniffling at Nat’s desk when she’s clearly been avoiding Natalie for nearly a week.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

A single tear tracks down Lottie’s cheek. She bites her lip, opening her mouth and taking a long, dragging breath.

“I–”

She tenses as footsteps echo down the hallway, Mel walking to her desk.

“Morning, Nat, Lottie.”

“Hi, Mel,” Nat says, gaze fixed on Lottie, clearly in distress. Nat picks up her coffee and grabs onto Lottie’s arm. “I gotta get creamer for this, c’mon, Lot.”

She leads Lottie out of the office and down the hallway.

“I thought I got it how you liked it,” Lottie says, and she sounds so genuinely upset about that on top of whatever’s bothering her that Natalie wants to cry. What’s wrong with her? Right now and that’s been causing her to avoid Nat?

Nat makes a hard right into a single-stall bathroom and locks the door behind them.

“You did. I just needed to get you out of there.”

Lottie looks at her helplessly.

“C’mon, Lot. Spill.”

Lottie sighs, nodding. “So… my Dad called me.”

She looks at Nat hopefully, but Natalie gestures for her to go on, failing to understand why she’s in tears over a phone call.

“It’s been six months since the last time he called, and, I dunno. I guess I was hoping he’d stop calling entirely, and I know that was stupid, and naive, and I should know better by now, but–”

“Hey. You’re not stupid, and you’re not naive.”

Lottie stares at her, eyes very wide.

“Sorry. Just had to say that. Why did him calling upset you so much?”

“He… my parents weren’t the best growing up. They were never there, I never felt like I was actually part of a family. It made me pretty depressed. They got me therapy and medication, and I’ll always be grateful for that, but they didn’t actually change. They threw money at the problem and got mad when it didn’t go away. That, and my Dad wishes I weren’t a lesbian, and he doesn’t think this is a real job. So he asks to get lunch sometimes and he acts like he ever changed a single diaper or helped me with homework and tries to set me up with sons of his friends and offers me a job at his company and it makes me feel sick.”

Nat lets the air hang for a while, making sure Lottie’s said her piece before she says a word.

“Sounds like you shouldn’t go to lunch with him.”

Fresh tears that have been building up throughout Lottie’s explanation spill over. “But I have to. I can’t not go.”

“Okay.” She does her best to make her harsh voice calm, to make her resting bitch face welcoming and understanding. “That’s okay, Lottie.”

If her Dad were still alive and he wanted to go to lunch, Nat knows she’d probably be the same way. How does one repay the gift of life? No matter the involvement, it’s hard to cast a parent away when they want part of a connection that you crave so desperately.

“My Mom’s not big on my sexuality or career, either. Moving here actually helped with that. I think me being around less helped get it off her mind.”

Lottie looks at her, teary and confused.

“Your sexuality? I thought–you were talking about that boy, I thought–”

“Travis?”

Lottie nods, wiping away her tears, eyes wide.

“He was the first guy I actually dated in high school, I wouldn’t say he’s a good representative of my tastes. Also, I’m bi.”

“You–you are?”

“Yep.”

Had she not mentioned it before? People usually just looked at her and assumed, and she couldn’t blame them, honestly it gave her a little thrill when girls flirted with her unprovoked. Spending so many of her younger years in denial of her sexuality made people knowing just from looking at her reassuring.

But Lottie’s looking at her like everything is different now, Natalie’s just not sure why.

“Oh.”

She seems shocked, thoroughly stunned by the information–Nat’s not sure why it matters so much, she clearly isn’t interested as she’s been ignoring Nat all week–so she decides to move on and let Lottie stew on the topic in peace.

“So when does your Dad want to get lunch?”

“Today.”

“Oh.”

“He said he landed late last night and he flies back out tonight.”

“Yikes.”

“Yeah.”

She says it so matter-of-factly that Natalie knows this is normal. He barges in and expects Lottie to move her entire world to revolve around him.

“You’re filming today,” she says, thinking of the schedule Van sent her the day before.

Lottie nods grimly. “Like I said, he doesn’t think this is a real job.”

“But you want to go?”

“I don’t want to, but I need to.”

Nat nods. She doesn’t even think about it.

“I’ll do it.”

Lottie gapes at her.

“What?”

“I’ll fill in for you in the videos. Jackie’ll be happy and it’ll free you up to go to lunch and go home and recover after.”

Lottie shakes her head. “Natalie, I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking, I’m offering.”

“You hate being in front of the camera.”

“I like you more than I hate cameras.”

Nat hopes Lottie doesn’t know just how deep her discomfort in being filmed runs, it would reveal far more affection than she’s prepared to show.

Lottie blows out a breath. She’s out of excuses and they both know it.

“Natalie, I… thank you.”

She surges forward and envelopes Nat in her arms. Nat goes stiff at first, unaccustomed to being hugged so fiercely. Lottie sniffling in her ear shakes her out of her shock and she melts into the touch, holding Lottie tightly to her skin, embracing the girl and all of her words, thoughts, and feelings.

“Anything, Lottie. Whatever you need.”

They part, holding each other at the elbows, and Lottie’s looking at her so softly, so much happiness and admiration in her eyes, and Nat knows, knows it’ll be alright, that it’ll work out, but this isn’t the time.

Lottie has lunch to go to, and Natalie now has videos to film.

She tears her gaze away from Lottie’s lips and presses a kiss to her forehead, wiping away the last of the tears on her cheeks.

“You got this, Lot. Go show that asshole what a raging lesbian YouTube star you are.”

Lottie laughs, breaking into a smile as she leaves the bathroom.

Nat leans up against the door after she goes, sliding to the floor, dropping her head back against the cool metal door.

“Shit.”

…

Eyes are on her as she walks into the Games soundstage and she hates it, but Natalie supposes she ought to be getting used to it.

“Hey, Natalie,” Laura Lee says as she approaches, smiling politely, but clearly confused. “You seen Lottie?”

“About that. I’m actually going to fill in for her today.”

Laura Lee’s eyebrows shoot up to her forehead. “You’re filling in for Lottie?”

Nat shifts uncomfortably. “Yeah. She, uh… something happened, she has to go, and I said I could fill in for her.”

Understanding floods the other woman’s face. “Her Father?”

Jealousy flares up that Laura Lee knows Lottie’s family history, but Nat shoves it down, telling herself that knowing about friends' family is normal, Natalie’s the weird, closed off one.

“Yeah.”

Laura Lee nods. “He’s overdue. I’d wondered if she’d finally cut him off, or if she was keeping it to herself… Thank you, Natalie. I know you don’t like this, it’s really nice of you to offer.”

Nat nods, making eye contact with Van in the distance, trying to remember what was on the schedule they sent earlier. She hadn’t really looked at what was filming, just identified the times that Van was called.

“I could fill in instead, if you’d rather not?”

There’s nothing wrong with the offer, nothing underhanded about the sentiment, but Nat feels a surge of protectiveness, a need to fulfill her promise, even though Laura Lee filling in would have the same effect.

“No, it’s alright. I can do it.”

Laura Lee thankfully doesn’t push the topic further, nodding and directing Natalie towards a schedule taped to the wall, accurately reading her cluelessness.

The schedule tells her that they’re about to film Cards Against Humanity and they’re doing ‘Don’t Win Mario Party’ in the afternoon, both of which Lottie is supposed to be in, so Nat will do both.

Van claps her on the back as she’s scanning the schedule. “Nat? What are you doing here?”

She grimaces. It’s going to be a long day.

…

Cards Against Humanity is fine. Natalie was more on edge than she was in Sniper Chess, and she knows it’s because Lottie isn’t there. She settles in after a while, laughing easier, getting more comfortable with the group, playing better cards. She doesn’t win, but she doesn’t do embarrassingly bad, and some of her cards get good long laughs, so Nat’s pretty sure it hasn’t been a complete failure.

When they break for lunch, she has a text from Lottie from an hour ago.

thank you again Natalie. so so so much. this means more than you know

Her tension melts away, and any hint of regret she had about doing the video vanishes.

…

‘Don’t Win Mario Party’, Natalie learns, is exactly what the name implies. They lose the minigames intentionally, and if that is unachievable they swap controllers and try to get a win for another player. Nat meets Lisa, a newer cast member who’s apparently being gradually filtered into more videos. She smiles at Natalie, nearly tripping over herself when Nat introduces herself.

“Lottie talks about you all the time,” she says, jaw dropped, and Nat smiles.

The kid clearly worships the ground Lottie walks on, it’s sweet.

Nat winds up getting a respectable third out of four, and the crew was in shambles when her and Van were chasing each other with the other’s controller (Nat pities whichever editor has to piece together the footage of her racing out of the soundstage in pursuit of Van, but she needed to get that controller back), so she thinks she did alright.

The ride back to the apartment is quiet. Natalie’s exhausted, and Van’s waiting for her to start talking.

“So… are we going to ignore the fact that you just filmed two videos despite you acting like you’d rather be dead than caught on camera?”

Nat sighs, looking out the window to avoid Van’s gaze.

“It’s really not that big of a deal.”

“It’s not a big deal my ass, Natalie. Jackie asks you to do it, hard no, I ask you, hard no, Lottie gets a yes out of you then you’re filling in for her today with no explanation? What the hell?”

“Lottie’s different.”

Nat whispers it, looking out at the passing cars, hoping Van won’t hear her, that they’ll let the subject drop.

It’s a futile hope, but she has it nonetheless.

It’s squashed as Van scoffs. “I know Lottie’s different for you, believe me. She’s pretty special, huh?”

Nat looks at Van, confused by the anger in their tone.

“Why are you mad?”

“Because you didn’t tell me.” Van looks at Nat through the rearview mirror, and, for the first time, Nat can see the hurt in their eyes. “You’re my best friend, Nat. I mean, I could tell you were head over heels for that girl the first time we ate lunch all as a group, and I kept waiting for you to tell me so we could plan together, laugh together… but you never did. Why? Did I push you away, did I make you feel unsafe?”

“No. You didn’t… no. It was just a stupid work crush at first, I didn’t want to embarrass you, you know? They were your friends first, I didn’t want to make it weird. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I didn’t realize you felt that way, it wasn’t my intention to leave you out, but I should have told you sooner, and I’m sorry for that.”

“Thanks.” The air hangs between them, Van letting out a breath. “And… I’m sorry, too. I could’ve just asked, instead of being bitter. And I’m sorry for making you feel like they weren’t your friends the minute you walked in.”

“No, they did. Or, I could tell you were trying, I just… I needed more time to figure out who they were and how we fit together, you know?”

Van swallows. “Yeah. I knew them so well already, and I knew how well you guys could all get along, I forgot that there would be, like, a slow period of getting to know each other before we were all playing happy family.”

Nat nods. At this point they’re parked outside their apartment, talking with the engine running.

“So, what happened today?”

Nat bites her lip, unsure of how much Van knows. “Lottie had a, uh… family thing. She was super stressed and upset about it, so I told her to go, said I’d cover for her. So I did.”

Van nods, turning the car off and opening their door. Nat follows suit, grabbing her backpack.

Nat digs out her key as they walk up to the door, shoving it in the doorknob and turning.

Van’s expression shifts from serious to smug. “So, how long?”

“Hmm?” The door opens and Nat goes inside, Van on her heels.

“How long have you and Lottie been dating?”

The keys slip out of Nat’s hands and onto the floor.

“What?”

“‘What’? What do you mean ‘what’?”

Nat picks up the keys and drops them in the dish by the door, gaping at Van.

“What are you talking about?”

“You and Lottie, how long has it been?”

Nat shakes her head. “We’re not… Lottie doesn’t know I–” she cuts herself off, clearing her throat. “Lottie isn’t aware I have feelings for her.”

Van arches an eyebrow. “Right.” They crack a smile, dropping their bag and heading for the kitchen.

“What?” Nat calls, not liking the way Van’s looking at her.

“Nothing,” Van says, smirking in a way that says there very much is something. “It’s just, you guys could’ve fooled me. Are you sure you aren’t dating and you just don’t know it?”

“Shut up.” Nat pulls her laptop out of her bag and sits at the counter. “I would know.”

Van looks at her expectantly. “But?”

Nat sucks in a cheek. “We might’ve had a moment in the bathroom today.”

“The bathroom?” Van cackles gleefully.

“Shut up.” Her face is burning. “Not like that. She came to the editor’s office crying and Mel came in so I had to get her someplace where we could talk. First place we passed was the bathroom.”

Van nods seriously, before cracking into their maniacal grin. “So, what happened?”

“Well, we were talking about her thing, she was talking about how she had to go, and mentioned that part of what stressed her about it was sexuality, and I said I understood that, and she brought up Travis, I guess she thought I was straight? So I said I wasn’t, and that just seemed to really surprise her, and like… I dunno. Make her happy?”

“Almost like she likes you back?”

Nat shoots them a warning glare. “Maybe. The way she was looking at me… I dunno.”

“Don’t you?”

Nat sighs. Sometimes she hates how well Van knows her. “It was just… it was like, she seemed so happy near the end, even though she was really stressed about the family thing, and I felt like, maybe I make her as happy as she makes me.”

Van looks at her over the counter, their gaze void of teasing. “You do, Nat. I really, really think you do. I’ve been sitting with you guys at lunch, I see how you look at each other.”

Nat smiles, tired. “Thanks.”

Van smiles back, hope in their eyes. “Anytime. Tell me next time, ‘kay?”

Nat nods, looking back at her computer. She has some work to do to make up for the time she spent filming that she would otherwise have spent editing.

Van opens the fridge and makes a disgusted noise. “Takeout sound good?”

“Sounds perfect.”

Van grins, picking up their phone to order. “I love you.”

Nat looks up from her computer and smiles. Van. Who would have thought, her best friend since elementary school, and here they are, still going strong, pissing each other off and making each other laugh until they cry?

“I love you, too.”

Van recites Nat’s takeout order into the phone without needing to check, and Natalie runs through Van’s before they say it, and she thinks that maybe that’s what true love is.

…

Lottie’s waiting at her desk when she walks in the next day, and she’s opened the blinds and there’s coffee, a doughnut, and a bouquet of flowers on Nat’s desk.

Lottie smiles when Nat walks in, but she bites her lip, too, like she’s nervous, but Nat’s heart is swelling and she feels like the fucking Grinch, heart growing three sizes and pounding at the sight of the beautiful girl in front of her.

“Hey,” Lottie says softly, brown eyes bright from the sight before her.

“Hi.” Nat puts her bag down at her desk, hesitantly running her gaze over the gifts. “What’s all this?”

Lottie lifts a shoulder. “Just a little something. A token of my appreciation and affections.”

“Affections?” Nat can’t look at Lottie when she says it, picking up the flowers instead and taking a whiff. They’re gorgeous, and they smell even better.

Lottie tilts her head until Nat meets her eyes. “They’re very special,” she says seriously. “Not just anybody gets them.”

Nat puts them back down on the desk, far more enchanted with the girl in front of her. “Well. Isn’t it my lucky day?”

“No.”

Nat blinks, startled by Lottie’s bluntness. She’s still smiling softly, reaching out and taking one of Natalie’s hands in hers.

“I have affection for you every day, it’s not luck that it’s just today.”

Oh.

Okay. They’re doing this.

Nat takes Lottie’s other hand–they’re so soft–and steps closer, the mix of the scent of Lottie’s perfume and the coffee Nat can smell on her breath is intoxicating.

“Natalie,” Lottie breathes, and it’s never hot to hear her full name from anyone else, but when Lottie does it it just does something to her. Lottie might as well be on fire, she’s burning Nat’s skin with her warmth, her electricity.

Nat lets her eyes fall on Lottie’s lips, and Lottie arches an eyebrow, lips curling into a smile.

Nat closes her eyes to escape the overwhelming closeness.

“Long day yesterday, huh?”

She can feel Lottie’s breath on her lips when she looks at Nat with dark eyes and says, “Would you shut up and kiss me?”

Regardless of what Lottie says, Natalie thinks she’s pretty damn lucky when she leans in and takes Lottie Matthews’ lips on her own.

Lottie kisses her back, hard, hand drifting to her lower back, holding Nat to her, their bodies pressed together. Lottie’s tongue is in her mouth and Lottie’s hips are warm underneath her hands and Lottie giggles when they part, foreheads pressed together, and Natalie knows she’s beaming, too.

There’s something intimate in standing there, bodies as close as they can get, breathing together, enjoying each other’s presence.

“You’ve been wanting to do that, too?” Lottie asks, still breathless from their kiss.

Nat does it again, just because she can, pressing a chaste kiss to Lottie’s lips.

“Since the day I met you.”

Lottie smiles. “Mmm. Me too.”

Nat shifts so she’s leaning against her desk, Lottie over her “I don’t know about you, but it definitely lived up to the hype for me.”

Lottie chews on her lip. “I’m not sure. I think we’d have to do it again, so I can check.”

Natalie can’t stop herself from smirking. “If you’d give me another chance, I think you’ll be satisfied with my abilities.”

Lottie leans in so close that her lips graze Nat’s when she speaks. “Impress me.”

And Natalie does. Or, at least, she tries. Lottie’s the one pressed against the desk when they next part, looking at Natalie through blown out pupils, licking swollen lips and patting Nat’s head where her fingers had woven through her hair.

Nat tucks a stray hair behind Lottie’s ear, pretty worked up herself. She straightens, taking a sip of coffee and having a bite of her doughnut.

“So,” she says through a mouthful of breakfast, “what brought you here this morning?”

“Figured we could finish what we started yesterday.” Lottie blows her bangs away from her face, shooting Nat a devilish smirk. “Though, I don’t know about you, but I’m not finished.”

Natalie chokes on her coffee.

“We’re at work!” she splutters at the end of her coughing fit.

Lottie rolls her eyes. “Relax, I’ve walked in on Jackie and Shauna doing much worse in their office. Besides, I have to film today, I meant you should come to my place after.”

Nat bites her lip. “You have to film today?”

“Yeah, why?”

Natalie looks her up and down. She looks exquisite, obviously, it’s just clear that there’s unfinished business. Her hair is mussed, lipstick all over, and her cheeks are alight.

“You just look… a little… y’know…”

“Half-fucked? And whose fault is that?”

Nat’s jaw drops at the accusation. “You were the one who showed up here before you had to go film! And Mel or anyone else could walk in here at any minute.”

Lottie waves a hand dismissively. “No, they won’t be in here until at least nine. I bribed them with doughnuts in the kitchen.”

Natalie sits back, stirring her coffee with the straw. “You really planned this thoroughly, huh?”

“Don’t be flattered,” Lottie grumbles, hunching in on herself.

“I am flattered. Definitely flattered.”

Lottie looks at her sheepishly, taking a seat on her desk. “Well, I’m glad I did it.”

Nat takes one of her hands and kisses it. “Me too, Lot.”

Lottie’s phone buzzes in her pocket. She checks it and grimaces. “I’m late for ‘TNTL’. Jackie’s yelling at me.”

Nat chuckles and turns to her keyboard. “Go. I’ll see you at lunch?”

Lottie pouts. “That’s so far away.”

“Get your butt outta here!”

“My butt doesn’t want to leave you.” Lottie slides closer, leaning down until her mouth is level with Natalie’s.

Unable to resist, Nat presses a kiss to Lottie’s lips, pulling away before the other girl can consume her.

“Go.”

Lottie’s sigh of displeasure blows her hair away from her face, but it works, the other woman straightening up and gathering her things.

“I’ll see you at lunch,” Nat says, pulling up the (hopefully) final draft of the ‘Culinary Crimes’ video for next week.

“You better be coming home with me,” Lottie calls, leaving without a second glance.

Nat rolls her eyes affectionately, sipping on her coffee and starting the video, planning on watching it through and stopping it if she finds any issues. The video starts and plays as normal, but Nat’s attention is elsewhere. She takes a bite of doughnut, hoping to dissuade her distracted mind. It’s delicious, but it doesn’t matter. Internally, she’s still with Lottie, kissing her, holding her–the end of the work day can’t come fast enough.

In the meantime, Nat goes to the bathroom and puts cold water on a paper towel which she holds over her face and neck in a weak attempt to calm down. It works a little, but by the time Mel and the others are filtering in with entirely too smug expressions, Nat’s just coming to accept that it’s going to be a long day.

…

Nat finds Van at lunch before she finds Lottie, so she takes a seat beside her best friend and starts unpacking her lunch, keeping a loose eye on the table as seats start to fill; she puts her empty lunchbox on the seat next to her and looks around for Lottie.

“Saving that for someone?” Tai asks, an eyebrow arched, nodding at Nat’s lunchbox on the seat. Normally they don’t save seats, the seating arrangement is established enough as is, or people are happy to sit with anyone.

Nat stammers, unsure of where exactly Lottie is, that's keeping her from lunch and if she actually even wants to sit next to Nat. She’d sort of just assumed after this morning that–

“Aw, thanks.” Lottie places Nat’s lunchbox back on the table, smiling at her as she takes the seat. “Hi.”

“Hey, Lot,” Nat says, positive that she’s blushing and everyone at the table–especially Van–knows exactly what happened this morning. They have no reason to know, it’s irrational, but Nat feels incredibly exposed, like anyone within a mile could smell it on them.

The rest of the table greets Lottie, barely breaking the conversation which appears to be something carried from the shoot, because Nat’s clueless and Lottie jumps right in without a care in the world.

Nat’s trying to actually catch herself up when a hand lands on her thigh and squeezes. Lottie. Nat looks at her, but Lottie’s looking at Akilah, who’s talking, nodding appreciatively, and smirking.

Nat stuffs a bite of sandwich in her mouth and prays that six o’clock comes sooner.

…

The end of the day finally rolls around–Nat’s been checking the clock every minute since 5:42–and as she’s finally picking up her bag to find Lottie, Van bursts into the editor’s office. Nat groans at the thought of the delay, throwing her head back, as Van bounces in excitement.

“Spill.”

“Can it wait? I’m about to go find Lottie so we can go back to her place.”

“Aw.” Van puts a hand over their heart, wiping away fake tears. “I did teach you well.”

“Please.” Nat puts her backpack on and pockets her phone. “You didn’t teach me shit.”

“Am I gonna see you tonight, or tomorrow?”

Nat calls over her shoulder on her way out, “Don’t know!”

She barely hears Van’s response of, “Text me,” as she rounds the corner, practically running into none other than Lottie.

“Is Van excited?” she asks, bag over her shoulder, car keys in hand.

“Not as much as me.”

Lottie arches a brow. “Is that so?”

“Yes, now can we go?”

“Patience.”

Nonetheless, Lottie turns and leads Nat to her car with a growing smile. Nat bites her lip, butterflies of anticipation fluttering as Lottie holds her hand while she drives.

…

“Good morning.”

Nat drops her head down onto the counter in the lobby, careful to put her coffee down gently.

“Don’t even start.”

Jackie’s eyebrows are practically in her hairline as she takes in the sight before her.

“Don’t be so grumpy, Nat,” Lottie scolds, somehow perfectly peppy despite the previous night’s lack of sleep.

Jackie’s eyes dart between the two of them, a bomb sure to go off in seconds, no doubt a lecture about fraternizing with coworkers, going against contracts–Nat didn’t even read hers that closely if she’s being honest–but Jackie’s explosion is a squeal and a huge hug directed at Lottie.

“Ohmigod finally!”

Jackie separates herself from Lottie and pulls Nat into a hug, too, much to her chagrin.

When Nat has finally managed to free herself from Jackie’s grip–the girl can hold on like a koala–Jackie turns to both of them, smiling like a proud mother.

“Soooo. How was it?”

“Oh my God.” Nat drops her head back down onto the counter.

Lottie snickers, but turns to Jackie seriously. “Too much.”

“Oh! Okay.” Jackie tones down her excitement, but is still clearly vibrating with happiness. “Very happy for you two! Oh, and Natalie, Taissa’s taking a day off next week when we’re shooting ‘Who Memed It?’, could you do it instead?”

Nat blinks, standing, feeling very aware of the air around her and the eyes on her. In the past, all her replacements have been favors at the very last minute. This is planned, this is far enough out that Jackie could book another cast member. Instead, she’s asking Natalie.

Nat doesn’t even have to look at Lottie to know that she’s watching hopefully, probably even nodding, encouraging Nat to agree. She decidedly doesn’t look, knowing that if she does she’ll cave immediately. She wants to decide for herself. She really thinks about it, does she actually want to do ‘Who Memed It?’

She’s expecting a resounding no, as it’s always been in the past. Instead, she’s surprised to find her thoughts reflecting Lottie and Jackie’s faces. Agreement. Why not? She’s had fun, she’s getting more comfortable. If Jackie wants her to, she’s willing.

“It’s okay if you need some time to think about it–”

“I’ll do it.”

“Oh.” Jackie’s face falls, then she processes the information and brightens. “Oh! Really? No fighting about it?”

“Don’t make me change my mind.”

Jackie pales. “Right, of course. Your call time is one o’clock sharp, don’t be late!”

She practically skips to her office.

Nat watches her go, still in awe of her own decision. A hand tapping her shoulder turns her around, where Lottie’s waiting, beaming at her. Lottie kisses her, and she feels it all. Happiness, pride, a little word starting with ‘L’ that they probably shouldn’t unpack just yet, and, judging from the way Lottie smiles at her when they part, Lottie felt it all returned.

“Thank you.”

“I didn’t do it for you.” Nat doesn’t mean it unkindly, and she can tell that Lottie doesn’t take it that way.

“I know.” She purses her lips until her smile forces them open again. “That’s why I’m so proud. Still grateful, though. I’m in that, too, we’ll get to play together.”

Nat grins. “Good. That’ll be fun.”

And she means it. She really, really means it.

…

“... So you’ll have access to viewer bonuses as well as residuals on videos that you’re featured in, okay?”

Misty, Jackie, and Shauna stand before her, the latter looking at her expectantly.

“Okay,” Nat says, feeling numb at the sight of the new contract in front of her.

“Okay!” Misty says, grinning a little too-widely as Natalie is learning she tends to. “That should be all we need to review before signing.”

Jackie hands Nat a pen, her smile entirely too satisfied for Natalie’s tastes.

“Perfect. You’re finally going to be a member of the cast!”

“Part time,” Nat corrects, leaning down and locating where on the contract she signs.

“There.” Shauna touches the spot with her finger.

Nat nods her thanks, putting the pen down and signing her name and the date.

“Alright! It’s official; Natalie Scatorccio, you’re a Yellowjacket!” Misty’s wide smile falters. “Or, I suppose you already were… I usually give this speech to new hires… anyway. Congrats!”

“So, you’re willing to do Games videos and ‘Who Memed It?’ and ‘Culinary Crimes’ on Hive?” Jackie asks, checking her notes.

Nat nods in confirmation. “But I’m not doing ‘Try Not To Laugh’.”

Jackie just smirks. “We’ll see.”

“Jackie.”

“Fine, fine. ‘No Try Not To Laugh’.” Jackie writes it down, then says, “For now.”

Nat groans. There really is no escaping the will of Jackie.

She looks up to find both Jackie and Shauna smiling at her fondly.

“It really is a pleasure to have you here, Natalie,” Jackie says, Shauna nodding in agreement.

“Thanks.” Nat puts the pen down, surveying her shiny new contract; part-time editor, part-time cast member. Not too shabby. “Surprisingly, it’s a pleasure to be here.”

All three of them laugh. Nat looks at them, her bosses, Lottie’s oldest friends, and, now, people she would consider friends of her own. She needs to thank Van sometime for dragging her over to Jackie at their graduation party and introducing them. Really, she owes all of this to them.

She thinks, walking out of the office and heading for the soundstage to film ‘Who Memed It?’ for Tai, passing all of her coworkers and friends, that it’s a lot to owe. Nat never could have dreamed that she could be this happy.

…

However fun she thought ‘Who Memed It?’ was to watch, it was nowhere near comparable to actively playing, to be one of the people sitting behind the table and making guesses. Lottie’s writing her silly little notes on their whiteboards, the memes are top-tier, and actually getting invested by making guesses and collecting points raises the stakes just enough to have Natalie genuinely excited when Jackie’s holding up the remote and saying, “Next Meme!”

What she sees has her jaw dropping. The image itself is familiar, an exact copy of a meme Natalie herself submitted not too long ago. The lonely, depressed spiderman. The only difference is the text. What once said ‘van when tai isn’t in the video with them’ now reads, ‘nat when lottie isn’t in the video with her’.

Nat pushes her chair back as she gets to her feet, scanning the room for Van as people laugh and gasp. Lottie’s laughing hysterically, half-heartedly patting Nat on the back as she looks around, failing to find Van.

“Where are they?”

“I believe they’re in a meeting,” Jackie says, barely holding back a laugh of her own.

Bullshit. They didn’t want to risk being in the room when their grand trick was unveiled.

Nat shakes her head, sitting down and uncapping her marker, writing her answer very carefully.

“Okay,” Jackie says once they’ve all shown their answers. “I have three for Van, show me Van!”

The slide changes, revealing Van’s name and photo. Nat continues to shake her head as the audience made up of crew and unoccupied cast continue to lose it. She erases her answer–Van/Enemy #1/Ex best friend–murmuring, “It is on.”

Lottie kisses her senseless in the bathroom after they wrap, and Nat pretty much forgets about it.

Not enough to keep from tracking Van down later and giving them a good talking to, but it definitely helps.

…

The door opening surprises her. She scrambles for the remote, turning off the TV before she can be caught.

“Hey,” Lottie says, slipping off her shoes by the door, hanging up her wallet and keys.

“Hey,” Nat says, trying to play it cool. “Long shoot day?”

Lottie sighs. “You have no idea.” She pauses, frowning. “Or, I guess you do. Still. Long. Tired.” She glances between Nat and the television, curiosity sparking. “What were you watching?”

“Nothing.” The moment she says it she knows it was the wrong answer. Too firm, too fast.

“Riiiight.” Lottie plops down onto the couch at Nat’s side, picking up the remote and turning it back on. Nat grimaces but allows her to wait while the device loads and then displays what Nat was watching before she turned it off.

Nat can’t bring herself to look. At the video, or at Lottie’s expression as she discovers it. It’s stupid, and it doesn’t matter, but it’s embarrassing, and what if Lottie cares?

“Nat. Baby. Hey. Look at me.”

A hand on her jaw turns her head back towards Lottie. Lottie’s close to laughing, looking thoroughly endeared.

“You were watching my old videos?”

Natalie grumbles a reluctant confirmation, avoiding Lottie’s gaze.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, it’s sweet.”

“Easy for you to say.”

“C’mere.” Lottie brings her lips to Natalie’s, giving her a kiss of reassurance. “It’s okay. How long have you been doing this?”

Natalie only flushes more, thinking back to searching up Yellowjackets videos featuring Lottie only weeks after they met.

“Uhhhhh. Over a year?”

“Oh, Baby,” Lottie coos, pulling Nat closer. “You haven’t gotten enough of me in person?”

“Never,” Nat says, finally coming out of her shell enough to realize how close she is to her absolutely stunning girlfriend.

Lottie clicks her tongue, kissing Nat’s forehead fondly. “You’re adorable. I love you.”

Natalie leans into her girlfriend’s embrace, putting her head in the perfect space between Lottie’s head and shoulder. “I love you, too.”

Lottie lets the video play, but Nat barely pays it any mind, distracted now that she’s sitting on the lap of Lottie in the flesh.. She turns herself around in Lottie’s lap, raising herself until their heads are even.

“I love you so, so much,” she says, mouth so close to Lottie’s that their lips graze. Lottie gives in, taking Natalie’s lips on her own. When she tries to reply, the only thing that comes out is a humming sound.

Nat can accept the trade-off. She knew what Lottie meant.

She pulls away, leaving Lottie breathless and confused.

“Nat?”

“One sec.”

She turns off the television again, smirking at Lottie. “Don’t need that anymore, I’ve got the real thing in front of me.”

Lottie chuckles. “You’re sweet.”

Nat puts her lips back on Lottie’s, ignoring the flush in her cheeks from the compliments. They’ve been together for months now, Nat first told Lottie she loved her nearly a month ago, but hearing Lottie say them to her still makes her heart skip a beat.

Nat moves her lips to Lottie’s neck, hitting a particular spot that causes her to moan and say, “Yeah, I missed you.”

Natalie giggles, planting a messy kiss on her girlfriend’s lips, relishing the way Lottie cradles her and holds her close.

She has so many more friends now, her and Van have never been closer, she’s never been happier in a job, she never could have dreamed of finding all this in LA. Then there’s Lottie, obviously.

Quite possibly the biggest perk of all time.

She drops her head down onto the pillows, panting, grinning at Nat.

“Stay tonight?”

Nat nods without a second thought. This is the third night in a row she’s stayed over. They’ll be having a conversation about that soon, a good one, but not now. Now, Lottie’s catching her breath and her energy will be back soon, and it’s safe to say that Nat has a long, delightful night ahead of her.

But, really, she has a lot of those. Countless, really. All of them, for the rest of her days.

Lottie flips them over, and Natalie can’t help but laugh as her back hits the mattress.

Pure bliss.