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You've been sitting on the beach for a long motherfucking time. But you don't really notice anyway, all spacing in and out throughout the night. Losing awareness of time, or avoiding it. Real miracle, that. You muddily remember the early days when you'd be here for hours, your senses at the sharp and taking every second on in like it needs to be tripled and stretched and whatever other wicked forced acrobatics.
You come back to yourself, as much as a motherfucker ever does, when you feel your prongs go all funny with cold. Waves. No horn or tail of your custodian. You should be up and at it heading back to your hive. You do a klutzy sort of stumble up and onto the path hive-wards, because your legs are stiffly weak for some reason. You turn your oculars to the sea again, just in case you can maybe spot a lusus motherfucker all up and swimming over there. But none of that miracle today. The blue water under black sky is beautiful and miracle-less. You turn back to your hive.
You walk into your respiteblock. You spaced out again, but that's totally chill. And about chill, that's right. If you can't get your chill on with your lusus, you can just get your own chill on. That's why you ended up in your respiteblock with two pies so motherfucking ready at your hands. You just gotta get motherfucking chillin'.
The sopor makes sure the rest of the night is bitchin' hazy and warm even if your nubbers are still numb. You're sure at some point one of your good pals trolled you and talked up some unmirthful things about your doings again, something or other about the slime eating your brain or blood or whatever it always is with those motherfuckers. They don't understand though, but that's all good. Your pals don't have to be understanding at how when if you're a bit too bored, or a bit too lonely, or a bit too angry, sopor comes in like the motherfucking mother of all fucking miracles and then it's all kinda mashed together into a distant warmth and buzzing of a miracle pie, and it's all good. Like now.
Your nubs stay cold.
You don't remember falling asleep.