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“Don't look now, but the Fire Lord is watching you. Again.”
The whisper came in Shin's ear just as he pulled away from the Earth Kingdom minister to whom he'd been pouring wine.
Shin looked up at his fellow servant, Diya, who was carefully looking away from the grand table where the Fire Lord, his advisors, and their guests, the Earth Kingdom ambassadors, were sitting. She had only paused for a second to whisper in his ear, but already they were getting dirty looks from the feast guests who expected the servants to be unseen and unheard.
Shin swallowed heavily, heart pounding, and made his way to the back of the room where he stood until he was needed. His neck was itching. 'Just your imagination,' he told himself. 'Keep walking. Don't put your head up. Don't attract attention.'
On his left he spotted a woman sitting with an empty cup. Thankful for the distraction, he headed over to refill it. He bent over behind her to fill it, and as he did, he gave in and allowed himself to glance up to the grand table.
The Fire Lord was staring straight at him.
He snapped his gaze down, heart bearing out of control and eyes unfocused. The Fire Lord had been unsmiling, piercing and discerning in his gaze. The scar blazed from the left side of his face, making him look ever more intimidating.
The woman whose cup he had been refilling - a Fire Nation minister, by the look of her - gasped and snatched her flowing sleeve away from the rapidly forming puddle on the table. While he was busy panicking, he had overfilled the woman's cup.
Shin rapidly pulled up the jug, causing droplets to splash over the rim, and started apologising profusely to the woman, who was looking, if not angry, then at least a little surprised.
Then suddenly Diya was at his elbow again, with a cloth and a tray and hissed “go” to him. She bowed and started dabbing at the woman and the table, and removing the spoiled food and cloths, while Shin made a hasty retreat to the servants’ passages, not daring to look up at the face he knew was watching him.
Once through the door Shin pressed himself against the wall, out of the way of the servants coming to and fro, and slid down slowly, trying to get his heart to cooperate and slow to a less furious pounding.
“Shin,” someone hissed, coming up in front of him. It was Jiu, the head server, who had been directing them this evening. She looked angry. Angry and scared. When she spoke, she did so quietly enough that no-one in the hall would hear her, and the rest of the servants knew better than to stop and eavesdrop on such a busy night.
“The Fire Lord was watching you,” she said. “You spilled wine on Minister Shu-Lin while the Fire Lord was watching. Do you even know who she is?”
Shin wordlessly shook his head.
“She's the new minister of education. Hand-picked by the Fire Lord himself. And he was watching!”
Shin finally managed to look up at Jiu, trembling slightly. She was pale.
“He was already watching me,” he forced out quietly. “Staring straight at me. Jiu, he looked angry.”
“How long has this been happening?”
“Since I started serving in the same room as him. About a month.”
“You're not to go back in,” Jiu ordered sternly. “Nobody will notice one less serving boy. Go to Lang in the kitchens and tell him that I told you to work there for tonight. We're going to keep you away from serving the important people for now. If you see the Fire Lord or any of his associates, you excuse yourself and find someone else to take your place. And if necessary, we will provide you with whatever you need to leave.”
Shin nodded shakily. He had only worked in the palace for two years, ever since his parents fell into poverty when he was 15, and had never drawn any attention to himself, even when Princess Azula was banishing her staff left, right and centre. Thankfully there were people like Jiu to help anyone noticed by those in power to escape before harm could befall them.
Lang was a dessert chef, and although initially grumpy about having someone join his team halfway through the evening, started giving Shin orders with little preamble.
As Shin carried another tub of cream over to Lang, he felt the stares and whispers of some of the other servants. Gossip travelled fast among the staff, and he wouldn't be surprised if everyone knew by the end of the dinner.
Zuko totally had a crush on that serving-boy.
And OK, maybe he was just being a useless teenager, but staring at the boy seemed to him the only option. It's not like he'd be able to ask a serving boy out on a date. What would he even say?
Ever since he had leaned over to Ming and asked her his name, he'd been the subject of merciless teasing from his friends and servants. Toph and Mai had not hesitated to make their opinions known, and always pointed the servant out when he was close.
So Zuko just stared and did nothing. He figured he may as well just get his fill of harmless glances until he had to find a wife or something.
Mai kept telling him to ask him out. He did not.
Shin had been steering clear of the ministers and nobles, especially the Fire Lord and his friends. Kitchen work wasn't what he was used to doing, and honestly, he hated it more than pouring wine for the rich.
If he was honest, he kind of missed it.
Sure, it was a drag being ordered around by your 'betters' and constantly told that you were worth less just because of who you were born to and where you worked.
But on the other hand, he got to hear all the gossip, to watch the machinations of royalty and government. It was pretty neat so long as the royalty and government didn't notice him.
Bad things happened to people who were noticed.
So, after two or so weeks when it had all died down a little, Shin got a tiny bit sloppy. In his defence, it wasn't really his fault. He just thought that in a crowd of people, nobody would notice him.
Well, the Fire Lord wasn't nobody.
And it was just his luck that while the Avatar was addressing the nation, the Fire Lord was staring straight at Shin. Shin didn't hear most of that speech, he left so fast. Guess he hadn't faded from the Fire Lord's eyes.
Diya approached him after.
“I saw,” she said, in that tone of voice that Shin dreaded.
“What do you think I should do?”
“If I was you,” she said slowly. “I mean, if you want to keep your job. And your life. And not be banished-”
“Ok I get it,” Shin said, feeling queasy.
“With royals,” Diya said, and Shin was reminded that she had worked at the palace back when Azulon was on the throne, “always put their ego first. They are prideful, and they want to be treated.... well, like royalty.”
Shin groaned, “Diya, can you just tell me straight what I should do.”
“Find the Fire Lord when he's alone and beg his forgiveness.”
“Forgiveness from what? I didn't even do anything! I'm sure I didn't do anything! Nothing except my job!”
Diya sighed. “Sometimes it's not about what you have and haven't done. It might be that you served him wrong, or ignored him, or looked at him wrong. That's the way with nobles, but royals especially. And we all know how volatile this family is.”
Shin nodded glumly. If this would stop him losing his job or his life, he'd do it in a heartbeat, however unjust.
Staring at the floor, the only warning he got for the approaching person was a gasp by Diya. He looked up to see the waterbender Katara marching toward them.
Next to him, Diya sank into a low bow, and he did the same. Never mind the fact she was fifteen years old; this woman found the Avatar and stopped a war.
And she was the Fire Lord's friend. Shin would be a fool to forget that.
And yet, when she spoke, she sounded deeply uncomfortable.
“Please stand,” she said. “We don't- that's not a Water Tribe custom.”
“We apologise, My Lady,” Diya said, straightening quickly but keeping her head bowed. Shin followed quickly and repeated her words.
“Right, well,” Katara said, still sounding uncomfortable. “Actually, I wanted to talk to Shin.”
Shin felt his heart leap into his throat, but still managed to keep his eyes downcast. “Me?”
“Yes,” Katara said, smiling a little and adopting a jokey tone. “I wanted to let you know that starting from today, you're going to be the personal server to the Fire Lord.”
She said it like it was a huge honour - which to some people it might be - but Shin felt his heart fall into his boots and his tongue turn to sand.
“Thank you, My Lady,” he managed to rasp out, along with a slight bow out of habit. “This is a very great honour.”
Katara shuffled a bit, looking a bit caught on the back foot. “Um, ok. Well that's great! You and Zuko will get along great. He'll be in his rooms at around.... oh, what's the Fire Nation time? Um, 19 bells? Does that sound right?”
Diya nodded slightly.
“Find him at 19 bells then. If that's ok for you?”
Shin nodded. “Of course.”
An awkward silence threatened to fall before Katara sidled away, muttering something about the overly serious Fire Nation.
As she turned the corner Shin let out a long breath and collapsed against the walls.
“Well. At least you have a time now.”
Shin looked at the sun. “Oh Agni.”
“Five hours?”
“About that. Five hours until I'm banished. Or burned. Or dead. Agni.”
Th evening rolled around with Shin pacing just outside the door to the Fire Lord's wing. Two guards were watching him warily, and perhaps a bit sympathetically.
Finally, Shin calmed his nerves at least a little bit and turned to the guards.
“Hi,” he said, voice trembling only a little bit. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Hi. I, um, have an appointment? With the Fire Lord? At, uh, 19 bells.”
One of the guards nodded and opened the door. Shin stepped through slowly.
“Don't be nervous,” one of the guards said gently as they closed the door. “You look like you're gonna piss yourself.”
The door closed with a terrifying bang. On the other side he heard the other guard lecturing the one who had spoken. Shin didn't think the guards of the Fire Lord were supposed to speak. Just stand there looking intimidating.
The atrium to the wing had another two guards standing in front of a door which Shin assumed led to the Fire Lord's office.
Shin glanced at the fancy timepiece and watched as it clicked to the hour. At the gong sound, he knocked on the door. A rough voice called “enter”.
The guards pushed open the door and allowed Shin past, walking with his eyeline down.
He glanced up just long enough to notice the grand desk and the surprised looking Fire Lord behind it before he sank to the floor with his forehead on the wood and hands out in front of him, the perfect, practised kowtow.
“Fire Lord, it is an honour and a privilege.”
“What are you doing here?”
That wasn't the reaction he was expecting.
“Your Majesty, I am here to serve you. Master Katara let me know that I should report to you at this time. My Lord.”
The Fire Lord didn't reply. Worry burrowed deeper into Shin’s chest.
“Your Highness, I beg your forgiveness for anything I have done to earn your ire. This humble servant is not worthy of your attention. I beg of you, My Lord.”
There was a silence. On Zuko's side, a shocked one. Shin, meanwhile, interpreted it as a silence in which the Fire Lord was making up his mind on whether to banish him or punish him. He wouldn’t be the first servant to face an unreasonable punishment for a small or even imagined slight.
“Please,” the Fire Lord said, and Shin tried not to flinch at the rusty sound. “Sit up.”
Shin sat up on his knees, resting his hands in his lap. “My Lord?” He nervously glanced up. Behind the Fire Lord a servant was standing, and she seemed to be...smiling? Then he looked at the Fire Lord, and for a second was petrified, before he realised that the redness of the Fire Lord's face was from embarrassment rather than anger.
Someone in the corner tittered and Shin saw the servant hiding her giggles behind a jug. The Fire Lord's whole face was red by now, and he was looking off to the side.
“I'm not...” The Fire Lord trailed off. “I'm not angry at you...”
The girl smothered another laugh and the Fire Lord glared at her.
“Shut it,” he said, and Shin felt a familiar wave of panic, this time on behalf of the girl. “Get out of here, you… harpy.”
The serving girl walked out the door with shoulders shaking, not seeming at all worried that the Fire Lord was angry, and when the door closed her laughter came through muffled but louder than when she was in the room.
The Fire Lord put his head in his hands and groaned. Shin just looked on, slightly puzzled.
“Um, Fire Lord...that is, if I may, Your Majesty...it's only that, My Lord...I'm a little, uh...confused.... sir...”
The Fire Lord looked up from his hands and Shin felt himself waver, once again pressing himself to the floor. “That is, Lord, I, a meagre and stupid servant, do not understand your wise ways. Forgive me, Your Highness.”
“Oh, Agni,” the Fire Lord said, chair scraping as he stood up with what sounded like resignation. “Shin, please could you come with me to the balcony? This will be embarrassing enough without Kier and Po listening in. And Fina, I bet she's still there too.”
The Fire Lord stood up and walked away, grand robes fluttering and whooshing around him. Hesitantly, Shin followed suit, although with considerately less elegance and style. He barely stopped to consider the fact that the Fire Lord knew his name already.
On the balcony, the sun was setting; the summer of Sozin's Comet fading into autumn. The Fire Lord was looking out, his balcony the only one in the palace which could see both the sunrise and the sunset, as was fitting of a powerful firebender and ruler of the nation.
The Fire Lord turned around and leaned against the railing, gesturing Shin to sit down on one of the cushioned wicker benches. Shin did so, awkwardly, and stared at the Fire Lord's feet.
“I know what you're thinking,” the Fire Lord said, sounding a bit agitated. “You think that the reason I was looking at you all the time is because I was...angry at you, or something. Because, under my father, or sister, or grandfather's reign, if you caught the attention of one of them, that was generally a bad thing. A very bad thing.”
Shin didn't quite nod, but the Fire Lord soldiered on regardless, now pacing a bit.
“But I'm not the same as my family, so I guess it's only right to tell you, even if it's so completely embarrassing and the others will never let me live this down.”
The Fire Lord took a steadying breath and Shin started to doubt that he was a wrathful or punishing royal.
“I kind of… had a crush on you.”
“What!?”
Shin looked up sharply to see the Fire Lord's flaming (hah) face avoiding his gaze.
“You're joking.”
The Fire Lord shook his head silently.
“Oh. So, you won't execute me?”
The Fire Lord's head snapped up. “You thought I was going to execute you?”
Shin rubbed his neck, slightly sheepishly. “Um, kinda?”
“Because I was looking at you?”
“Well, you have met your father and sister. Um, sir.”
The Fire Lord sighed, sinking down onto the ground. It felt so wrong to Shin to be sitting on a bench when the Fire Lord was cross-legged on the floor in front of him. “You're right, of course. There's a reason everyone is scared of me. You all have a good reason. I just wish...I mean, I hope that in time I can prove that that isn't how it is anymore. I don't think I could banish anyone, let alone sentence them to death.”
In that moment the Fire Lord looked so sad and hopeful that Shin felt his heart burst and the fear sink out of his skin. It was all too easy to remember in that moment that the most powerful person in the nation was only half a year younger than himself.
“I'm not scared of you.”
The Fire Lord looked up, as confused as Shin himself.
“Really? Seemed like it earlier. And it’s OK, really. I understand.”
“Well, that was before you stuttered through the most awkward confession ever and also didn't banish or execute me.”
The Fire Lord blushed anew. “Yeah... I don't suppose you could forget I ever said anything.”
“Well, I will be working for you now.”
“What?”
“Well, um, that's what Master Katara said, anyway.”
The Fire Lord facepalmed. “They mean well. I think she was trying to force me into confessing. But I don’t think- I mean, it would be unethical for you to work for me. Since I… like you.”
“I'd technically work for you anyway, My Lord,” Shin pointed out.
“Maybe technically, but I wouldn't be personally in charge of you,” the Fire Lord replied. “Katara means well but she's never had servants before. It's... many people abuse their power.”
“But not you.”
“Never. But I still don’t want to put you in that position.”
“Well, I suppose, My Lord, if I'm not being too forward,” Shin started carefully, “that you could always fire me from my new job and allow me to return to working for Jiu. If My Lord doesn't think I am being presumptuous, of course.”
The Fire Lord looked surprised. “Really? You're not...uh, well, that is... You don't mind that I... I mean, about what I said...?”
“Um,” Shin said, eloquently. His mind was ticking over processing this information, and his body slowly losing the fight-or-flight restlessness that it had been in was making it hard to think. Or maybe that was something else. After all, the Fire Lord was quite pretty, if you had the luxury of looking at him for longer than split seconds. “I kinda don't mind? Like, at all.”
“So, if I were to, uh, maybe...”
Shin wetted his lips. “Ask me out?”
“Yeah. That.”
“I think I would...like that. My Lord.”
The Fire Lord's face lit up and wow he had just been asked out by the Fire Lord. And not only that, he had said yes.
“So,” Shin said, in the ensuing silence. “Where do we go from here? My Lord.”
“I think,” the Fire Lord said nervously, as if he had never asked anyone out before. Oh Agni it was perfectly possible that the Fire Lord had never asked anyone out before. “We should start by dropping the titles. I'm Zuko.”
“Fire Lord Zuko,” Shin said, trying it out in his mouth. It sounded strange to address him by name. “Zuko.”
Fire Lord Zuko tilted his head and smiled, making Shin's heart melt a tiny bit. “Yeah. That sounds good. Shin.”
“I won't call you that in public though,” Shin warned. “I don't want to draw attention to myself. Or cause a scandal.”
“That's fair, I guess. Shin.”
“Zuko.”
Fire Lord Zuko – Zuko – grinned again, as if he couldn't believe it, and blushed. “Sorry. Only, this is pretty neat. I was prepared for rejection. Oh Agni,” he said, smile falling away, “you're not just doing this because you're scared of me, are you? Or because you think I'll...banish you or something otherwise?”
“Maybe before,” Shin said contemplatively. “But, I guess, you're kinda cute.”
Zuko flushed again. “Thanks. Do you maybe... Well, I have a free evening in a couple of days. Do you want to... Go out? Maybe walk in the palace gardens, sneak out and eat in the city?”
To Shin’s surprise, he found himself smiling like an idiot. “I'd love to.”
Zuko smiled, but before he could reply there was an insistent knock on the office door. He went back inside and called “yes?”
“Admiral Hou to see you,” a voice called out. “He has an appointment.”
“Thank you,” Zuko replied. “A few minutes, please.” He turned back to Shin. “You better escape now while you can. Hou is a long-winded bastard if ever I heard one.”
Shin laughed. “I guess I'll go...inform Jiu of my demotion. See you in a few days.”
“In a few days,” Zuko repeated.
With a final wave Shin opened the door and disappeared through, giving a short bow to the Admiral who was standing outside, although the Admiral didn’t so much as acknowledge his presence.
In the servants’ corridor just outside the Fire Lord's wing, Diya was pacing nervously.
“So?” She said as soon as she saw him. “Are you ok? Are you hurt? Banished? Did you apologise? Was he merciful? I was so worried...”
“No, no, no, Diya, I'm fine,” Shin assured her, trying to keep the smile from being too obvious. “It was something else. Something good,” he added, at her expression. “I've been demoted. Back to my old job. It's all fine, Diya.”
She was still fluttering like a nervous butterfly. “Really? Did you find out why he was watching you then?”
“Yeah.”
“And?”
He smiled. “Don't worry about it. He's not like his father. He's kind of...awkward. Cute.”
Diya took him by the ear in that way aunties sometimes do. “What are you saying you silly boy? Is that any way to talk about the Fire Lord?”
“It’s all good!” Shin said shrilly. “A misunderstanding! Just a misunderstanding!”
He was released, and encased in a hug instead. “I’m glad you’re alright,” she said.
“I don’t think I was really in any danger,” Shin said, returning the hug. “But thank you anyway.”