Work Text:
YANG
When Yang sees her in the distance, her heart skips a beat and she smiles.
They’ve known each other for almost a decade now, and the reaction has always been the same.
She waves her hand, and Blake spots her too. She smiles and hurries up, and as soon as they are in touching distance, Yang opens her eyes for a quick hug.
“I’ve missed you!” she says, holding Blake tight before she releases her.
“I’m sorry, I’m still getting used to the new job.”
Yang smiles, easy as always, and nods back towards an ice scream stand.
“I’m happy for you, but don’t let them work you to death.” She points to the menu. “But since you are getting paid nicely now, it’s your treat.”
Blake squints her eyes. “You just invited me to hang out to extort me.”
“Never!”
They usually hang out in a coffee shop next to Yang’s place, but since Blake moved, it’s harder for her to visit. The park is closer, and besides, it’s getting warmer now. So nothing better than ice cream and a walk in the sun to catch up.
“About that ice cream…” Yang whispers in Blake’s ear, leaning closer. “I was thinking about three scoops, extra syrup, maybe a couple strawberries on top…”
Blake pushes her away, and Yang misses the closeness immediately. But she laughs.
“See?” Blake says. “Extortion.”
She gets Yang the three scoops,extra syrup and strawberries anyway. Blake gets a mango sorbet, because she has good taste, she says.
“So,” Yang says, burying a strawberry underneath a layer of ice cream to get it extra cold before she eats it, “book editor, huh? How’s that?”
Blake smiles at the question. “More fulfilling than I thought, honestly.”
***
Blake always wanted to be a writer. When they were still in college, Blake used to stay up until late at night writing short stories, and the next day she would sit down on Yang’s bed and give her a copy to read. Yang was always glad to help, even if she suspected her criticism was not that great.
Still, Blake always came to her.
She was laughing at the moment, reading Blake’s attempt at a romantic comedy.
“You are so corny.”
Blake crosses her arms and pouts, but she doesn’t move from her current spot. Which is leaning against Yang’s chest, both of them under her covers, trying to stay warm with the heater broken.
“If you plan to make fun of me I’ll just kick you out.”
“Hmm. I don’t think you will.”
Blake nests closer to her chest, and Yang discards the manuscripts on the bedside table, wrapping her arms around Blake. She hopes no one ever fixes this dawn heater.
“I think you are overestimating how valuable you are to me right now,” Blake says, but Yang can see her smiling.
She wants to kiss her.
“With the heat turned off? I don’t think I am.”
Blake grumbles something, and Yang wraps her arms around her tighter, laughing. She wants to kiss her. She wanted that for a while now, and she thinks she’s going to do it today.
“Tell me what you think,” Blake asks in a low voice, interrupting Yang’s plans.
“Well,” she says, “I think you are a very romantic person.”
Blake’s head against Yang’s shoulder. Like this, her nose brushes every now and then against Yang’s neck. It’s cold, and makes her shiver, and her heart picks up the pace thinking about Blake kissing her there. Or just turning her head up and -
“You do?”
Yang nods. Can Blake feel her heartbeat from down there? Can she feel the sweat on Yang’s hand as she holds her?
“Even if it’s a bit corny, it makes you want to be in love, you know?” Like Yang is now. She is so, so in love. “The way you describe things… I mean, the little gestures, and everything. It makes you think man, I wish something like that would happen to me. ”
Blake is quiet for a moment. When she speaks again, it’s even lower than before. More vulnerable than Yang ever heard her.
“Can I tell you something?”
“Anything,” Yang answers.
“I don’t want to be in love ever again.”
Yang feels like something dislocates on her chest after hearing that, something that she doesn’t think will ever get fixed. And the only evidence of it is a small frown that Blake can’t see.
“Ever?” She asks, voice wavering a bit.
“Ever.”
Then Blake tells her why.
***
Yang tries not to think too much about that while Blake rants about her job. She never really got the writing job she wanted, but she did fall in love again despite everything. The opposite of what she wanted.
But Blake seems happy with the job, anyway. With everything, in fact. Maybe she doesn’t even remember this one night specifically. Maybe it’s a sour memory for Yang and Yang only.
She got the idea to apply for this job right before she moved. She had a translation gig she hated, and one day she saw the job offer and showed Yang.
“ It’s nice, but that’s an hour away from here ,” Yang had said. She doesn't think Blake caught the worry in her voice. “That’s a problem, right?”
And, as the things Yang says often do, it inspired Blake.
“Not if I move closer,” she answered.
And it was only a matter of time before she got the job, and rented a new place, and every so slowly began to move on from the little life the bunch of them built in their little corner of Vale.
Yang misses seeing Blake everyday. Misses giving her a call and having her show up just a couple of minutes later. But Blake is happy. She is very visibly happy. She can’t get upset about that.
Speaking of which.
“And what about Sun?”
Blake’s body tenses, and Yang knows something is wrong immediately. She frowns, ready to offer to punch his guts but -
“We broke up.”
Oh.
“A month ago, actually.”
Oh. Okay.
Yang realizes she is holding her spoon way too tight.
“You didn’t tell me that,” she tries. She is still frowning, but the reason is different now.
“I know,” Blake shrugs, as if it’s not a big deal. “I was coming to terms with it, I think.”
“Was it bad?”
Blake nods towards an empty bench and they both sit. The sun is against their backs, a pleasant warmth to an unpleasant conversation.
“Not at all. It was mutual. We both think we are better off as friends.”
Yang nods, playing with her ice cream as she digest the news. The news that she is getting a month later than she should, by the way.
“So I don’t need to uninvite him to my birthday?” she says with a smile, because she doesn’t know what else she can do.
Blake smiles too, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “No. We are going together, in fact. We still live in the same place.”
Yang snorts, feels something unpleasant on her chest. “Talk about good terms.”
Blake rolls her eyes, then pushes Yang away with her elbow. It’s a welcoming bit of normalcy. “Our lease ends in just a couple of months. We agreed to share the place until then and move out to our own places after.”
“Get a place closer next time,” Yang suggests. “Everyone misses you.”
Yang misses her, specifically.
“I'm sorry about that,” Blake says and her ears drop, apologetically. “There’s a lot to get used to right now.”
“I know. Take your time.”
Blake nods, thankful. Yang just eats her ice cream. One month. That’s a really long time. How many times have they talked since then and the subject didn’t come up at least once?
Yang takes a look at Blake, who is playing with her sorbet. Maybe Blake is aware of the distance growing between them too. Maybe she is fine with it, even. She got a new job, a new place to live, had a relationship that didn’t end in shambles. She is living her life just fine, and Yang is stuck in the past still.
Friends come and go; one day they talk to you everyday, one day they take a month to let you know they broke up with their partner.
Yang was naive to think it would be different with Blake just because… well.
“But you are fine, right?” She asks, because she always is more worried about Blake than she is upset with her.
“I am, Yang. I just…” she swallows, and because Yang knows her so well, she knows she’s trying not to cry. “I don’t know what to do with it. He still lives with me and it’s fine. Last time I had to get a restraining order, you know?”
Yang sighs, and she wants to cry now too. “Come here.”
She pulls Blake closer, and she nests her nose on her neck like they used to ages ago. She missed this. She gives Blake a light peck on the forehead and holds her. She thinks back to that one time in college, when they were in Blake’s room. Maybe someday, if the time is right. But not now.
SUN
Sun knew Yang before he knew Blake. In fact, he met her because he knew Yang.
They used to go to the same gym, and sometimes they spotted for each other. Sun is the type of guy that likes to chat, and Yang is also the type of girl that likes to chat. And so the story goes.
One day thought, on their last set for the day, Yang waved for a girl waiting outside. Sun looked because he is curious and well - there she was, Blake Belladonna.
“Dude, you know her?” Sun asked, hitting Yang in the arm.
She frowned immediately. “Don’t even think about it.”
“Come on. Is she seeing someone?”
“Back off,” Yang says, helping Sun unload the bar. “I’m not getting you her number.”
“So she isn't.”
“Sun.”
“She's into someone, then?”
“I'm out now,” Yang says, then pushes him away playfully. She winks. “Pick up your jaw from the floor, you look pathetic.”
Sun asks her repeatedly, but she does not give him her number. Not that she needs to - one day, while he is running, Sun sees her in a coffee shop on the other side of the street. He goes over to introduce himself and well, the rest is history.
Now here they are: Blake Belladonna, now his ex-girlfriend, sitting next to him in the car, fidgeting with the gift she got Yang.
“Don’t overthink it,” he warns her.
She has been stressing about the gift for a whole week. She got Yang a comic she mentioned a while ago, and Blake and Sun have been going back and forth about it for a while now. It goes like this:
“I should have picked something more thoughtful.”
“She said she was into it, you remembered and got it for her. That is thoughtful”
Then she sighs, frustrated, and says nothing. This time, Sun looks at her until she catches him staring and tells him to pay attention to the road.
“You know,” he says, “I think the gift is not the problem.”
She rolls her eyes.
“Can we please not talk about that again? It’s-”
“Mortifying?”
“Exactly.”
“Just because we used to date?”
“ Yes, Sun.”
He raises both his hands in a placating gesture, but it doesn’t work as expected.
“Put your damn hands on the wheels!”
“Fine! But I think you should give it a shot.”
“We were making out daily not even two months ago, can you please stop trying to give me dating advice?”
He laughs out loud, and she punches his shoulder. Eyes on the road! She says.
***
Blake gives him his number, and the very next day he meets Yang at the gym. She is there before him, already in the middle of her workout, he notices.
“You won't believe what happened to me,” he says, full of it.
Yang finishes her set before answering him, and when she drops the weights on the floor, Sun realizes that they are a bit lower than usual. Her heart is not into it today, it seems.
“You asked Blake out,” she says. “I heard about it.”
Sun groans, making a point of being extra dramatic and raising his arms.
“Awn man, you are no fun!” He says. She just rolls her eyes.
“We’ve known each other for almost a decade. You think she wouldn't have mentioned it?”
He can’t argue with her logic, so he just leans against a pillar while she rests. “We are going to a nice restaurant by the docks because she said she’s into sushi. She is awesome! Why didn't you want to introduce us, man?”
Yang shrugs. “She just always told me she was not interested in dating.”
Sun thinks back to the small talk they had in the coffee shop, and how she seemed flattered. Enthusiastic even, when he suggested the restaurant and asked for her number.
“Well, she seemed into it, you know?”
“So it seems.”
She says that in a funny way, Sun notices. In a low voice he never heard from her. almost bitter, he thinks. She picks the weights from the floor to start a new set, and as she takes a deep breath, he connects the dots.
“Shit,” he says, running his fingers through his hair. “ You are into her.”
She looks at him like a deer caught in the headlights. “I'm not.”
Yes she is.
And Sun fucked up massively.
“Awn man, I’m so sorry,” he says again, hands still in his hair. Almost pulling it out. “I didn't realize when you told me to back off. I swear I’ll text her and cancel.”
Yang sighs, drops the weights and runs a hand through her face. She looks exhausted. “Don't do that. She was excited to go out with you.”
“But I don’t want to get between you guys. Or mess up what we have going on. Bros before hoes, right?”
Yang raises an eyebrow, and Sun seriously needs to shut up.
“Not that she is - ugh! Figure of speech! You know what I mean! Friendship first!”
“Look, Sun, there's nothing to worry about. She’s not interested.”
He runs his fingers through his hair. His scalp will get oily if he keeps this up.
“I don't know, man.”
“Just go on the date and see how it goes,” she says. “I swear I won’t be a problem.” She gives up on her set. She gets up from the bench and puts the weights back on the rack. “I’m glad she found someone she’s interested in. She’ll like you, I think.”
***
She did like Sun, and he did like her. And Yang was not a problem, not even once. Well, she was, but not in the way she promised she wouldn’t.
Sun and Blake had a good time, one of the best times he had in his life, honestly. But living together with someone makes one think of the future, and when he thought about his life two years, three years from now... he imagined Blake in it. But not in the way he was supposed to. They weren't dating then, they were just… Sun and Blake. Still inseparable, but the best of friends, and nothing more.
Which, now that he thinks of it, is a good realization to have just before your girlfriend comes up to you and says hey, I think I am in love with my best friend and we should break up.
He misses kissing her every now and then, but ultimately not being together anymore was for the best.
He parks the car on Yang’s sidewalk and turns off the ignition. Blake is still fidgeting with the gift.
“Blake.” She looks up at him. “What did you tell me when we broke up?”
She frowns. “A lot of things. We talked for hours.” He rolls her eyes and waits because he knows she’s playing dumb to avoid the conversation. When she sees he’s not giving up, she sighs. “That I was scared of breaking up with you and losing a friend.”
“Are we friends?”
“Yes.”
“So don’t you think the same will happen if Yang doesn’t feel the same - which I doubt?”
“It’s different. We’ve known each other for years.”
“So you're telling me a guy you met not even two years ago is more likely to still be friends with you than the person you’ve been best friends with since forever?”
Blake sighs, closes her eyes and rests her head against the car seat.
“I told you to stop trying to give me dating advice.”
Sun smiles, then opens the door.
“I’ll stop when you get there and do something about it.”
BLAKE
Sun makes a point to greet Yang first, and this is his logic:
“I met her before I met you, so I call dibs.”
“We’ve known each other since college.”
“From my perspective I still come first.”
Blake can’t get too mad at the absurd because it’s amusing seeing them greet each other.
They slap their hands together and hug, slapping their backs even harder. Blake chuckles at their antics. Her experience with Yang has always been softer, so it’s always entertaining to see her rougher side. She stopped playing rugby when they left college, so it’s rarer to see these days.
Sun begins rambling about the headphone he got her, but Yang shoos him away, smiling at Blake, who is still waiting outside.
“Rude,” he says.
“It’s even ruder to leave a guest in the doorway,” she says, winking at Blake. She opens her arms in greeting like she usually does, and Blake doesn’t waste a second getting into them.
Sun boos the two of them, but forgets about it immediately after. Ruby waves him hi from the kitchen and he joins everyone there, no doubt looking for a beer.
“Happy birthday,” Blake says, taking the special occasion to extend the hug for longer than necessary.
“I’m glad you made it,” is all Yang answers. Then they part.
Blake waits until they are by the couch to give Yang her gift. “It’s not a big deal,” she says, “but I thought you’d like it.”
When Yang pulls the comic free from the gift wrap, she smiles. It’s light and sincere, exactly the way Blake likes to see.
“You remembered that?” She says, a bit shy. “I told you about that ages ago.”
“You didn’t get it in the meantime, right?” Blake asks, suddenly worried that getting something Yang talked about so long ago was actually a terrible, terrible idea.
“No, not at all.” She has the softest smile on her face, and she is barely looking at Blake. She is stuck on the comic, and well, maybe Sun was right - it was a thoughtful gift.
If anything, Blake was glad it got that sort of smile out of Yang. She missed seeing it.
Yang looks up at Blake, and the smile turns even softer. She places one of her hands on Blake’s back and guides her towards the kitchen. The other one, she uses to hold the comic close to her chest, secured and treasured.
“Now that you are here, let’s get you something to drink and get the party started.”
Blake smiles, enjoying the heat. She missed having Yang so close.
***
Something Blake took for granted was the way Yang was always touching her.
She disliked it at first - Yang would wrap an arm around her while they walked on campus to pull her closer, or touch her shoulder to get her attention. Too touchy, Blake used to think. Why does she want to touch me all the time?
But then Yang began to introduce her to her friends, and Blake noticed that was just a Yang thing to do. She was always head-locking her sister and Nora, hugging friends good morning and goodbye. She had extremely complicated handshakes with Ruby and some older friends she went to high school with, and she always let Weiss rest her head on her shoulder when they are sitting close.
When Blake began to realize it was nothing special, she was fine with it. In fact, she got so used to it that she completely missed that it was special when it came to her.
She only noticed it once it was gone.
Not that long ago, they were walking together in the park and stopped to watch the ducks on the fountain, and they both leaned against the railing to talk.
They always stopped on that very same stop, and on cold days, Yang always wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and Blake clinged to her to keep herself warm.
It was early spring, so she thought she was fine with just a thin blouse. But as they talked, Blake discovered that she was mistaken. A cold breeze hit them, and Blake shivered once, then wrapped her arms around herself.
That's when she noticed.
Yang was talking about something mundane, then, something about how her dog kept spitting the pills he needed to take.
Blake always pays attention when she talks, but this one time she didn't. Because she realized that Yang was a lot farther away than she used to be. And she noticed that when they met, they didn't hug for as long as they used to. And when they walked, Yang didn't take her arm and interlace with hers.
And it was not just today either.
She used to visit Yang’s place every now and then and watch as she played videogame. Yang liked to sit on the floor, and Blake liked to rest her head on her lap and keep her feet up on the couch. The perfect setup to get Yang to play with her hair between matches.
Which she did, every time. Sometimes, when the conversation was too engaging, she would shut down the game and focus on Blake and Blake only, until late at night. Then, she’d ask if Blake wanted to spend the night, and she’d agree.
She can't remember the last time she visited Yang just because. And she can't remember the last time Yang played with her hair.
What she remembers though, is that she and Sun were watching TV last night and she laid her head on his lap, and he played with her hair just like Yang used to.
And at this moment, while Blake watches the damn ducks, she realizes that it’s not the same at all when he does it.
She doesn't know what to do with the thought. She doesn't know what to do with the shiver she feels now that Yang is a whole step away from her.
She tells Yang something came up and she needs to leave earlier, and she doesn't know what to do with Yang's face when she tells her that.
Her smile drops just a bit, but she grins immediately after. It doest have the same softness as when Blake looks at her when she is off guard, and because of that, Blake knows that she is upset but doesn’t want her to know.
“Off you go, then!” She says with enthusiasm that doesn’t match her expression. “Don't be late because of me.”
She opens her arms, offering a hug, and even though Blake doesn't know what to do with any of it, she clings to her tighter than normal.
Yang's hand rests on the back of her head like it used to, and Blake realizes how badly she missed it.
“Sorry.”
Yang pulls her a bit closer, maintains the hug for a bit longer than its usual now, but still shorter than before.
“Don't worry about that. Let me know when we can hang out again, okay?”
She loosens her arms before Blake does.
Blake promises her it will be soon, and leaves her behind. She looks back one last time when she is far away, and Yang is still looking at her. She waves her goodbye. Blake waves back.
She walks home, and the entire way back - a forty minute walk - she keeps thinking about Yang playing with her hair.
It’s not the same when Sun does it , she keeps thinking. And then, in reassurance:
It’s not supposed to be the same. One of them is my friend, one of them I'm in love with.
She got that a bit messed up, and she realizes that in no time.
***
Blake is thinking about her breakup when Sun stretches on the couch, then yawns so loud that Weiss throws a pillow on his face, annoyed.
“Ready to go?” He asks Blake. It’s almost sunrise now.
The party ended, Yang’s closest friends stayed behind to clean, then everyone piled up on the couches to talk and listen to some music. Weiss is asleep on the armchair, Ruby is spread out on the floor with her eyes closed, but bobbing her head to the tune of the low music. Nora and Ren borrowed a bedroom to sleep, Jaune another one. Phyrra is trying to stay awake, but is failing. Yang, Blake notices, is nowhere to be seen. She frowns.
“I’ll stay over. See you later?”
He nods and stands up, and Ruby takes the clue to open the door for him. He kisses Blake’s forehead before he goes, and messes her hair, just to be a jerk.
“Think about what we talked about,” he whispers. Then, louder for everyone to hear, “where is the birthday girl? I want to say bye.”
“Probably the balcony,” Weiss answers, turning her head the other way and pulling the blanket closer.
He disappears upstairs, and as he goes, Blake thinks that she is lucky to have met him.
She remembers coming up to him one day, shaking and scared, but ultimately telling him that they needed to talk. She remembered how he looked her up and down, and then sighed, probably already knowing where the conversation was going. Blake had been withdrawn for the past few days. No wonder he figured it out. What surprised her though, is that instead of being upset, or mad, or resentful, or the many, many other awful things she was taught to expect, he smiled, a little relieved.
“That’s good,” he said then, “because I also need to talk to you.”
They broke up, and right after they did, she held him so tight, and told him she loved him for the very first time. And she was so relieved that she got to say it to him in the way she meant it.
When Sun comes back, he points upstairs. Go for it, he mouths her, and she rolls her eyes. He winks at her and waves everyone that is still awake goodbye, then leaves. She really, really loves him.
Ruby turns the radio off, and goes upstairs to her room. Phyrra takes the cue to lay down on the couch set out for her, and Blake realizes that that’s it for the day.
When they were younger, she used to sleep on Yang’s bed with her. After she started dating Sun, she’d get a couch. Now she doesn’t know where she’ll spend the night, but one thing she knows for sure: there’s no better time to talk to Yang than now.
She opens the door to Yang’s bedroom, and finds her in the balcony, just like Weiss said. The room looks exactly as it always did, ever since Blake helped her set up the new house. The comic and the headphone, as well as a couple of other gifts, all sit tightly on her desk.
Blake knocks on the door, and when Yang looks back, she smiles and invites her closer. Blake takes a seat next to her. Close, like when they watched the ducks.
“So, how was the birthday?” Blake asks.
“The nicest in a long time,” she answers, easy as the breeze. Blake smiles at her. She is so at peace. She feels a bit bad for disrupting it, but she is sure Yang won’t mind in the long run.
“If it's so nice, why are you up here by yourself?” Blake asks.
Yang has a smile on her face, but it's a bit bittersweet, Blake thinks.
“I was just thinking.” She nods to Blake, changing the subject. “You are going home now, right? Sun just came to say goodbye.”
“I was thinking of staying over, actually.”
Yang raises her eyebrows. It's a bit heartbreaking, how surprised she is. “You are?”
“If you don't mind.”
Yang stands up, staring at the empty room behind her. At the bed there, big enough for the two of them. A considerable upgrade from the single bed they sometimes shared during college.
“Pyrrha is on the couch today,” she notes, and Blake nods. “You can stay here if you don't mind.”
“I'd like that.”
Yang invites her to help with the bed sheets, and Blake follows. They don't mention where Yang will be staying. Blake waits by the balcony while Yang rummages through her wardrobe, pulling out a thicker blanket because she knows Blake likes to sleep with them, even if it's warm out now. Then she keeps looking, probably for the purple bed sheet she got for Blake a long, long time ago.
She takes her time, and for a moment Blake is worried that she can't find it because she threw it away. But Yang pulls it from the confines of the wardrobe, a satisfied smile on her face when she does.
She gives a corner to Blake, and she realizes that it smells like old clothes. Like a jacket you forgot to wear for the winter, and now you need to hang in the sun before you can wear it again.
She tucks her corner under the mattress, and when she tries to get the next one, her hand bumps into Yang, who picks the same side.
She pulls her hand away and laughs, a bit awkward. Blake knows this because she runs her hand through her neck - she always does that when she is nervous.
“We are out of sync,” she says. “It's been a while since you stayed over.”
Blake fidgets with the fabric, afraid of what comes next. But if she doesn't set the jacket in the sun, it will never feel warm against her skin again.
“Yang, can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Are you not comfortable around me anymore?”
Yang’s eyes snap to her, and Blake almost feels sorry that her smile disappears. “What?”
Blake shrugs. “We used to hold hands all the time. You pulled away just now. Do I make you uncomfortable?”
They are on opposite sides of the bed. Sometimes, the distance feels impossible to close. But in reality, they've never been more than a couple steps away from each other. Blake just needs to be the one taking the first step now.
She walks around the bed, standing right next to Yang. She is stuck in place, hands limp by her sides. Blake takes one of them between hers.
“We used to be a lot closer. In a lot of ways. But physically too.”
“And we aren't anymore,” Yang admits.
“You used to hold my hand all the time. Hug me. You don't do that anymore.” Silence. “Is it because I started dating Sun?”
Yang is still quiet, and now frowning.
“I'm not dating him anymore,” Blake tells her, then squeezes Yang’s hand. “And I like when you are close to me.”
Yang purses her lips, and when she speaks, it’s in a whisper. “I like that too.”
“So why did you stop touching me?” Or, better yet, “what did it mean in the first place that you had to stop?”
She feels Yang's body grow rigid under her touch. She feels like she wants to pull away, put some distance between them, but Blake squeezes her hand tighter. Asking for her to stay right where she is.
“Why are you asking me that?”
“Because I've been thinking about it,” Blake says, “and I want you to be honest with me.”
“And what if you don't like the answer?”
Blake shakes her head. She wouldn’t have asked on her birthday of all days if there was a chance she’d dislike what Yang has to say.
“I don't think that's possible.” She is clearly struggling. Blake doesn't want her to struggle. She wants precisely the opposite. Her free hand joins the one holding Yang’s. “You can tell me.”
“If you are asking, you already know what I'll say.”
“But I want to hear it.”
Yang shakes her head. She does pull her hand away now, and steps back. But there is nowhere to run, the room is not that big. Blake doesn't want her to run. Doesn't want her to feel cornered.
“Yang.” She is still shaking her head. “Yang, look at me. I was scared when I broke up with Sun. Do you know why?”
“Change is difficult,” she answers. But she is still not looking at Blake.
“Especially if it's something you really care about.” Yang nods now. And Blake calls her again. She looks at her now. Her eyes are almost glassy. “I was afraid he'd stop being my friend if something went wrong. Is this what you are scared of?”
Then, when the first rays of orange light break through the deep purple of the night, very quietly, she admits: “Yes.”
Blake's throat is tight now. But she nods. “And this is why you never told me anything.”
“Among other things.”
“Like what?”
Yang shrugs. “You were always talking about not wanting a relationship anymore.”
Blake feels like an idiot for being so insistent on it.
“But then I got into one.”
She nods. “But then you got into one.”
And Blake can only guess the rest: which must mean she didn't want a relationship with Yang , specifically.
Her throat is tight. She is the one that can't look Yang in the eyes now.
“I'm scared of losing you too,” Blake admits, because she doesn't know what else to say. “But I think I've been doing that anyway, these days.”
“I'm not going anywhere,” Yang says. She is almost crying, Blake notices.
“Neither am I. No matter what you tell me.” She swallows, taking a step closer to Yang. “So please, tell me what you want to say.”
Yang nods, but she avoids Blake’s eyes. Her eyes are on the purple bed sheets, on the first rays of sunshine laying on them.
“Look at me. Please.”
She looks immediately, but she is terrified. Blake has never seen her so scared.
“I like you,” she admits. “A lot.”
And this is what goes unsaid: she does since a long, long time ago.
“I'm sorry I didn't realize that sooner,” she says.
But Yang shakes her head, looking at Blake the whole time, no matter how strongly she wants to look away. Because Blake asked. “Nothing to be sorry about.”
“Can I make up for lost time?”
Yang’s eyes are a bit glassy. “How so?”
Blake smiles, and moves both hands to wrap them around Yang. She reciprocates immediately. “For starters, you can hold me for a bit.”
She's so tender when she holds her, and it reminds her of a bit of that semester when the heater broke in her dorm. She’d always call Yang to stay with her, and If Blake was a different person then, she might have done something about it.
But she is a different person now.
“Yang?”
“Hmm.”
“I love you too. A lot.”
And this is what is implied: not as long as you, but certainly as strongly.
Yang whines when she hears that, and pulls Blake even closer.Blake sinks into her, and she doesn’t feel guilty.
“Are you sure this is a good time?” Yang asks, voice uncertain, but filled with want. “You just broke up, I don't want to-”
Blake is tired of speaking. She pulls away, looks Yang in the eyes. There’s something she’s been wondering for a while now, and she wants to get answers now.
She closes the distance between them, and Yang meets her in the middle.
Her lips are soft, like Blake thought they would be. And the time is just right.