Chapter Text
The streets were quiet. Dark, dramatic shadows slashed across each alleyway. You scaled the wall in the comfort of this, the occasional wandering eye not being something you wanted to catch.
A prickle at the back of your neck had you freeze. You were being watched. You crawled deeper into the shadows, this time facing outwards, to see what was going on-
Something pounced.
Arms and legs pinned, you struggled, before your head was tilted up. Your eyes were squeezed shut. They were pinning you with one hand. Or they had extra arms. Your chest rose and fell rapidly, heart beating a mile a minute. You peeked.
A tall, lithe man, maybe a little under 6 feet had you pinned. He was wearing a suit similar to yours in theme, but all black, with a dark trench coat and a wide-brimmed trilby hat.
You noticed that he, too, was stuck to the wall. You relaxed… and then blushed, realising he still had you pinned to the wall, knees separating your legs, face inches from yours. Your heart sped up rapidly.
“Are you… alright? Your heart just sped up very quickly.” the man (Spider Man? Other Spider Man?) said.
“Who… Who are you?” you said, once again struggling to get free. It was to no avail.
“I could ask you the same thing,” he said. “You’re not from around here.” It wasn’t a question.
The monochrome skyline wasn’t made for you and your color-filled suit. You had kept to the shadows, hoping to avoid detection.
“Where the hell am I?” you asked, and god, he was still pinning you down. Your poor heart couldn’t take it.
“Earth-90214.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“You, my mysterious friend, are in the wrong universe.”
You struggled more, his piercing gaze feeling hot on your skin. You wrapped your legs around his waist, rapidly twisting your body. He dropped you in surprise, and you quickly climbed to the top of the wall, haunches raised. Your chest heaved. Sure, yeah, that sorta thing was… attractive, but god. He had also frightened you. And he had no statement of his intentions. He could be a murderous Spider-Man.
“W-wait! Don’t go.”
You ran, leaping from building to building in a blind panic. All suspicions were running high, and you simply ran faster, swung faster, scaled faster-
WHAM.
Lights out.
You woke up, the throbbing in your head apparent. You groaned.
“Ouch. That was a nasty hit, kid.”
Opening your eyes, you saw the same Spider Person from before, again inches from your face. You scrambled away, back meeting a wall and a… headboard? Were you in his house?! And why did this dude not know anything about personal space?!
“I’m sorry for scaring you. This is all my fault- you slammed into a wall trying to get away from me. I promise I’m trying to help.” He dabbed at a cut on your head, the antiseptic stinging. You hissed in pain before realising-
“My mask. What the fuck- Where is my mask?!”
The Spider Person stepped back, hands up to diffuse the tension. “You had head trauma. And you were bleeding. I needed to take a look, I’m sorry.”
You sat up properly, looking around the room. The… monochrome room. Everything was black and white here, like an old spy film.
“Who are you?” you asked, calmer.
“You’re a cagey one. I respect that. I’m Spider-Noir. Or Noir. Pleasure to make your aquaintance, sir.” He held out a hand to shake, and you shook it tentatively. It was odd being called “sir”. Not wrong, but most times you were simply called names or your own name. Side effects of being Spider-Man.
He began to speak again.
“Nice grip. I respect that too. What’s your name, then?”
“Y/N.”
“That’s a good one.”
“Thanks, picked it myself.” you joked, then realising you had no way of explaining that. The Spider- Noir. Noir? Didn’t seem to notice.
“Anyway, if I’m in the wrong… universe… how do I get back?”
He whipped out a watch, the screen glowing orange. It was the only thing of color that you had seen so far.
“Portal. Got this to help stop-“
All of a sudden, your body contorted, pain wracking your whole self. You screamed, but it sounded broken, and glitchy.
“…That. Are you okay?!”
You nodded, trying to stop what little was in your stomach from coming back up. Breathing deep, you looked back up at him, leaning against the headboard.
“What… the hell… was that?!”
“That, my friend, was glitching. It’s the multiverse trying to send you back where you belong by essentially slamming you through a wall.”
Great.
“How do I make it not happen?”
He pressed a button on his watch, opening a portal.
“Getting the proper tools. Follow me!”
He leapt through, immediately whisked away. You stared. This was the most batshit insane thing you’d ever experienced, and you were half convinced it was a fever dream. But still, you supposed it was your only chance.
“This is fucking insane.” you muttered, jumping in feet first.
The sensation? Only to be described as going through a very long, twisty slide.
Made of rubber.
At free-fall.
You screamed, the aforementioned nausea hitting you again.
“WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU-?!” you cried. before being spat out onto a cool floor. Face-first.
“-OOF.”
You quickly looked around for a bin, locating one and promptly being sick into it. Once the appropriate amount of debris had been expelled from your stomach, you groaned.
“Here. Have some water.” Noir said, handing you a bottle. You looked up from where you’d sunk to the floor, gratefully taking the water and guzzling it. You hadn’t realised how thirsty you were.
“Ha. Thanks.” you said, wiping your mouth. You caught your breath, looking around.
A massive atrium, one that by all means defied physics, was looming around you. Technology of every kind was embedded into it, walkways that were upside down being frequented by…
More Spider-People. Thousands. Your jaw dropped.
“Whoaaaaaah.”
Noir chuckled.
“Welcome to Spider Society.”
He offered you a hand. You took it bashfully, allowing him to help you up.
“We need to get you a watch ASAP. You can still glitch here. I’ll take you to Miguel. He’s in charge.”
You noticed he was still holding your hand. You’d been too distracted to realise, but when you did, you let go hastily. He didn’t seem to notice or care, walking off in a direction. You had to stride quickly to keep up.
“So… This Miguel. He… nice?”
Noir chuckled. “Just don’t piss him off.”
You chuckled nervously. What the hell did that mean?
The two of you walked in silence, apart from one time when a Spider-Truck ran around being chased by a Spider-T-Rex. You leapt to the side, grabbing Noir’s arm in fear. He looked down at you in amusement, and you quickly let go, collecting the broken shards of your dignity.
“This place gets a little… crazy. There’s every kind of Spider you could dream of.”
“A recipe for chaos.”
“Naturally.” he replied.
Eventually, you made it to HQ. Through HQ (and an impossibly tall glass elevator that made you uneasy) you reached a dark room.
In this room, a bluish-toned space with stairs that ascended with seemingly no support, was a platform. Various different monitors floated around, and there was a mystery figure poring over one of them.
“Miguel. I’ve brought someone to see you.” Noir said, gesturing to you. You waved awkwardly.
“Hi.”
A tall, muscular man, most likely hispanic, looked down at you.
“Hm.”
Slowly, he walked down the stairs, studying you like a hawk studies a mouse. As you looked closer, you realised just how massive he was. He was like if Shaq became Spiderman.
“Thanks.”
Your eyes widened as you realised you’d said that bit out loud.
Shiiiiiit.
You went to defend yourself, but another glitch floored you, bringing you to your knees. You panted, catching your breath again.
Miguel handed you a watch. “Here. Put this on. Now.”
You slid it on, feeling more stable than you had in… hours? Days? A while.
“Phew. Thanks.”
Miguel stared at you some more.
“Oh, yeah. Uh, I’m Y/N.” You held out a hand for him to shake. He shook it firmly and approvingly. Hold up- did this man have CLAWS?!
“So uh. Do I get to keep this?” you asked. Miguel nodded.
“We may call upon you for missions or briefings.”
You gave him an awkward thumbs up.
“Cool beans.”
Noir cleared his throat. “Anyway, considering you… lost your lunch upon landing… Would you like to join me for something to eat?”
Your smiled.
“Yes please.”
For a moment, you thought you saw a flash of something in Miguel’s eyes. You ignored it. He was… strange. He was hot though. Why were all the Spider-Men hot?!
Noir took you to a diner, cheap food and grease filling the air. It was warm, but not uncomfortably so. You took off your mask, so as to be able to eat.
Noir followed suit, and Holy Hell…
He had a little bit of a beard, nothing solid, just some rugged looking scruff. He also had big, round glasses, ones that accentuated his gorgeous eyes. He had a square jaw and fluffy dark hair, and if you had any doubts about your sexuality, they were obliterated. You felt your cheeks go bright red, and you sipped some cold water desperately to cool your face.
“Is something wrong? You look a little tense. Is your head alright?” he asked, and damn if his adorable concern didn’t make things WORSE.
You cleared your throat.
“Ah, nothing. I’m okay, don’t worry. Thanks.”
He looked as if he was restraining a smile, and for a second you thought he was going to comment on it. But he didn’t. He just ordered his food from a passing waitress.
You followed suit, ordering the house burger (upon his suggestion) and a side of fries. They weren’t obscenely greasy or rich, but just enough to have your eyes rolling.
“Mmm. Damn, this is good.” you said, swallowing a mouthful. “I’m starving.”
Noir stared at you in concern. “When was the last time you ate?” he asked.
“Uh, hm. I dunno. Definitely back in my own dimension. Maybe like three… ish days ago?” you said brightly.
Noir looked horrified. “How are you functional? You’ve been on the run for several days without food or water?!”
I shrugged. “Not the first time. I’m just glad I met you in time. Last time… was bad.”
Noir, thankfully, didn’t press the subject, but still looked incredibly worried.
“Come on, Noir. Don’t give me that. It’s alright. I’m here, aren’t I? And okay?”
His frown became less severe, and he munched on a fry pensively. “I suppose. But I’d like to take you to HQ’s infirmary. Just to check. And to get that head wound looked at.”
You conceded. “Sure thing. Can I hope that Spider Society has universal healthcare?”
He smiled. “What with us constantly getting beaten down, yes. It’s a necessity.”
You sighed with relief. “Thank god. I’m extremely poor.”
He chuckled. “Most of us are.”
After lunch, you made your way over to HQ. The infirmary was, thankfully, accessible from the ground floor. That elevator was awful.
The nurse checked you over, tutting at the way your ribs jutted out of your stomach slightly. She carefully treated the head wound, and probed you for any concussion. She then asked Noir for a moment alone.
“You cannot continue with that binder. It will crush your ribs.” she said, poking them. They were quite tender, and you winced.
“Point proven. But I can’t go on through life without it. I feel sick in my own skin.”
She sat down in her chair at her desk.
“You are aware of universal healthcare in this dimension?” she asked.
“Yeah but- surely that doesn’t apply to…?”
She shook her head. “No. It completely does. Same for hormone supplements. And I’d advise you to immediately sign onto the waiting list.”
Your heart sank. “Let me guess, it’s like… three years long?”
She smiled. “No. It’s actually about… two weeks? A week? Maybe. I’m not sure. But it is very short. Would you like the paperwork?”
You laughed in disbelief. “Are you kidding? Of course.”
Ten minutes later, you submitted the forms at the front desk, elated. You were finally getting the surgery you needed. The nurse had given you a better binder, specially designed for swinging. You felt better than you had in years.
Thanking her profusely, you left, meeting Noir in the waiting room.
“You seem chipper. All good, I presume?”
You laughed. “Noir, there’s surgery I’ve been needing for years, as well as medication. And I’m finally getting it.”
He grinned. “Well, that’s fantastic! Do you have a date for the surgery? What- if I may ask- is the surgery? I don’t want to be rude.”
You nodded absentmindedly. Here, a complete stranger, one who called you “sir” at first glance, was about to find out the truth.
“Noir, you ever heard the word ‘transgender?’” you asked tentatively.
He brightened. “Oh! Yes. My friend Gwen- another Spider- she’s transgender. You would like her. She’s fiery.”
His brow furrowed. “Wait- should I call you something else?”
You grinned. “Oh, no. I just… haven’t had access to the stuff I need. But uh,” you looked at him bashfully, “That’s… really sweet of you to ask.”
He smiled. “It’s not a problem. So is that everything then?”
I nodded. “Yep. Just a dude.”
He nodded. “I must say, we haven’t caught up to that level yet in my dimension, but Gwen caught me up to speed. I must say, it’s all very brave of people to be themselves. We haven’t even fully legalised homosexuality yet, which has proven to be quite inconvenient.” He smiled reassuringly. “But rest assured, you are supported.”
You appreciated his support, but one thing stuck with you.
“Why inconvenient? I mean, wouldn’t affect you, would it?”
He smiled drily. “You are under an incorrect assumption, my friend.”
It took a moment. “Oh. OHHHHH! That makes sense. I mean- not like I thought- Oh, well, you know. I’m a bit useless with words.”
He laughed. “Not at all. I believe useless would be the incorrect word to use in regards to yourself. In any context. I only realised recently anyway.” He looked at you, something clicking.
“Is that what you meant by ‘I picked it myself’?!” he laughed.
I nodded, similarly amused. “Yeah! I make that joke a lot with my friends, kind of a reflex. It wasn’t that funny without context though.”
He smiled. “Well it is now.”
He looked distant for a moment.
“Penny for your thoughts?” you asked.
“You said earlier you were on the run.”
Your heart sank.
“I’m guessing you’re wondering why?” you said grimly.
He nodded.
“You’ve been a gem about it, Noir, but my parents… wanted a daughter. I’ve been getting by as Spiderman, but it wasn’t easy. Then I saw this weird hole-thing, and ended up in your dimension.”
He nodded, taking your hand reassuringly. You blushed, but your mask was back on, and he couldn’t have noticed.
“I’m truly sorry that has happened. If it’s any consolation… My spare bedroom is empty.”
You grinned. “Thank you, Noir. I mean it. I had no idea where to go from here, but… I’m glad I met you.”
He smiled. “Of course.”
An idea popped into your head. “Hey, Noir, how well dyou know this place?”
He made a noncommittal hand gesture. “Well enough. Why?”
“Why don’t you show me around?”
He shrugged, smiling. “Why not?” He offered his arm, and you took it, chattering away about this, that, and the other as if you were old friends.