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Dearest Crowley,
I’m perturbed to admit that I feel our intimacies have been lacking a bit as of late, and as such am looking to remedy the situation. If you could so kindly don the enclosed hat, and deliver this package hot and fresh to my rear entrance, I’m hoping things will spring back to life.
With all my love,
Aziraphale
Crowley read the letter again, scratching his head, the one over his shoulders, in confusion. What the heaven was Little Nero’s and what was in this box that needed to be hot and fresh? It was a familiarly shaped box, but it was escaping his brain just what it was for. However, Crowley wanting to please his angel, and also excited by the thought of some additional oomph in their love life, donned the strange hat and did as was requested.
He knocked on the rear entrance of the bookshop, warming the box in his hand with some demonic energy. PIZZA! That’s what was in this kind of box. Now he remembered. Why would Aziraphale want him to deliver pizza to the rear entrance of the shop? Maybe if it were a
sausage
pizza? The door opened and all of his questions fell away.
“Oh, you’re early, Mr. Pizza Delivery Man. Won’t you come inside while I get your money?” Aziraphale opened the door wider and Crowley’s jaw dropped. He was wearing a slinky, silky, see-through dressing gown, and didn’t seem to have anything on underneath. Aziraphale sashayed away to the front of the shop, and shimmied his way back holding some money in his hand.
“It must be so much work delivering pizza all day; I can help you rest your feet a bit… after I get my hands on this meaty, sausage and pepperoni pizza you’ve delivered.” Aziraphale took the pizza box and did that wiggle again as he walked away. Crowley followed him farther into the shop, his eyes on Aziraphale’s buns. They moved in a captivating way, one against the other.
Aziraphale turned around and Crowley got a good look at Aziraphale’s sausage through the sheer fabric of his dressing gown. It was a big meaty thing, dangling there, all turgid and… dangly.
Crowley’s fingers itched to get his hands on it. Something about that silky material made the large Aziraphallus even more enticing than normal. Crowley could feel his bulge bulging very bulgingly. This whole scenario felt like something he’d read in WINGZ™magazine once (or twice.)
He tossed away his costume, consisting solely of the hat. He didn’t need it to play along.
“I’m afraid you’re short a few pounds. But perhaps we can come to an arrangement.”
“Oh, no, I’m so sorry. I can find a way to give you more pounds… unless you want to pound me.” Aziraphale batted his eyelashes at Crowley and it stirred something in his loins, something hot and unexpected with the heat of nice spicy chorizo.
‘’Some pounding could make the life of a pizza delivery man much better,’’ agreed Crowley, “Also spicy oil. Can’t have pizza without spicy oil.”
“I do like spicy oil… it goes well with breadsticks.” Aziraphale set the pizza on his desk and bent over seductively, his arse pointed right at Crowley, begging to be squeezed.
“I have the spiciest oil for you right here in my pants,” Crowley growled, as he pointed to the mighty, springy wurst in his pants. So tumescent with blood that it could be mistaken for black pudding. He unzipped his pants, letting his cock spring free, yearning for Aziraphale’s arse.
“Oil me up, dear. Like I said, I want your hot package delivered to my rear entrance! Do not make me reiterate again!”
No sooner had Aziraphale finished speaking, when Crowley had already pulled up the back of his dressing gown, bending him over his desk. He couldn't wait to go all deep dish on Aziraphale; stuff his crust with cheese, so to speak. He rubbed his man meat up and down Aziraphale’s crack, miracling some slippery lubricating kielbasa flavored lube all over them both.
“Do you mind if I eat some pizza while you pound me, Crowley?” said the angel between moans. “I really want that sausage in my mouth.”
“Not at all, you're free to try the food,” His words came out forcefully, like an ejaculation.
“Oh, Crowley, there's nothing Little about your Nero, but I am Rome and it's burning me!” said the angel between bites. It was delicious pizza, but Aziraphale could only eat so much with Crowley pounding in and out of his hole, his spicy breadstick filling him like an all you can eat pizza buffet with unlimited breadsticks.
“Oh angel, I can't hold it any longer! I wish I could go for 30 minutes but alas it's going to be less!” It had been 3,000 years since he had seen Aziraphale eating so passionately and Crowley couldn't get any more aroused at the sight!
“Double layer your cheese on me, Crowley! I'm so close to delivering myself!” Aziraphale gave up on eating and instead gripped his own throbbing member, stroking it in time to the pounding of Crowley’s pepperoni.
Splush! Squelch! Plash! Fee-fi-fo-fum-vaboom! They didn’t even know who was making all of those noises, some of them seemed to come from the direction of their bodies, or perhaps an ethereal plane (for celestial sex is beyond the comprehension of human ears).
“Huuuuuuuuuut!!!!” said Crowley. He was so close. He had another 1.5, no 1.8 thrusts left in him.
“Zaaaaaaaaa!!!!” retorted Aziraphale.
“Wooooowieeee,” Crowley exclaimed as he finally found his release.
“Bam!” Aziraphale exclaimed once they’d both caught their breath. His face was in the pizza, Crowley collapsed on his back, his hands still squeezing his hips. Aziraphale used his strong anal muscles to squeeze Crowley’s mighty meat a few last times before it slid out with a squelch. Quelshhhh!
They managed to make their way to the couch, Aziraphale’s hair covered in tomato sauce, a pepperoni stuck to his chest like a third nipple, the pizza box no longer suitable for recycling given all it had been subjected to.
“Well, angel,” Crowley said, nipping the pepperoni nipple from his chest, “that’s one way to spice up our love life.”
“Scrumptious, darling! Great service, 5 stars for your pizza delivery. Now, could you help me miracle the sauce stains away from the couch?”
The End