Chapter Text
It's just before noon on a Sunday. Mei has been awake, lying in bed, for several hours. The energy to lift herself up hasn’t come yet. She stares at the ceiling, white and featureless. An alarm sounds on her phone and she doesn’t move to silence it. Not until her upstairs neighbor bangs on the floor with handle of a broom. This is enough to make Mei rise, letting the blanket roll from her body. In her mind, she is telling herself to get up. This mantra has been on repeat since she woke, sometimes it helps. She turns the alarm off and swings her legs over the side of the bed. Her room greets her with a hollow darkness, curtains drawn closed refuse to let a ray of light through.
Her morning routine is nothing special. She starts by picking through a pile of clothes on the floor, grabbing the cleanest smelling garments. She dresses and lugs herself to the bathroom. It’s not a workday, so no makeup. She stares at herself in the mirror for a moment. Dark circles border her eyes and all she can see is age. “Thirty… I’m already thirty…” she whispers to herself. She knows that she isn’t that old, but she’s changed so much over the past decade. Her beauty and charisma lost in time. Her amber eyes bore into her reflection in misery, suffocating on self-directed hatred. She doesn’t shower or brush her hair; the most she can manage is a half-hearted tooth brushing. She steps into her small kitchen and rifles through what food she has left. Not much, her cabinets are bare. She has a few drinks in the fridge, not enough to feed her.
Part of her wants to lay back in bed and wait for tomorrow, but she’s already standing, dressed, and near the door. She might as well use the momentum she managed to build up to go to the store. She spends a moment searching for her wallet, briefly panicking before finding it. She takes a breath and lays her hand on the cold doorknob. It’s not a far walk to the store, it is just around the corner. She steps out of the gloom in her apartment and into the stairwell. Her eyes squint at the sudden burst of light. She runs her fingers across the chipped and peeling paint of the guardrail as she makes her way down the stairs. Her eyes drift towards the ground as she walks. Even if something were to happen, she couldn’t help right now.
The doors to the grocery slide open and the building releases an ominous burst of cold air. She rubs her arms, wishing she had covered up a little more. She grabs a small basket and trudges through the aisles, not exactly sure what she wants to buy. It only takes a few moments of thought before she decides she wants to get some chips. She hasn’t had any in her home for a while and she figures it couldn’t hurt to treat herself. She shops around for a while grabbing cheap, store-branded necessities before arriving in the snack aisle. She browses for a while, not certain what to choose. Then she sees them: the wagyu flavored Cheetos. The best flavor of Cheetos, really. One problem, they are on the top shelf. She frowns, just out of reach. She can graze them with the tip of her finger but not much else. She sighs in discontent and considers climbing the shelves.
“Excuse me, miss,” a voice calls out. It takes her a moment to register that someone was addressing her. She looks up to see a tall, gaunt man with wild blonde hair; a dead man walking with sunken features and piercing blue eyes. His clothes are ill-fitting, much too large for his thin frame. She is taken aback by his appearance and for a moment she feels frozen by his gaze. “It looked like you were reaching for this,” he holds out the coveted bag of Cheetos.
“I was, yeah. Thanks,” she mumbles and hesitates before taking the bag from him. She can’t hide that she’s still staring, but no longer out of surprise. There’s something to him that strikes her as interesting: his expression is tired, but not defeated. She offers him a thin-lipped smile and decides to strike up a conversation. “You’re pretty tall, huh?”
“You’re welcome, and I guess you could say that.” He straightens his posture a bit before turning away to stifle a cough. When he pulls his hand away from his mouth, it’s peppered with red flecks. Mei only catches a brief glimpse of it before he puts the hand in his pocket.
“I’m not going to catch something from you, am I?” Mei questions, her tone is playful but she’s only half-joking. “That, uh, looked bad.”
“I’m alright, you don’t need to worry. I’m not sick with anything,” he tries to reassure, without saying more than he needs to. Mei nods, not wanting to pry. It is obvious that he isn’t well, anyone could make that observation with only a glance. One could say something similar about Mei, although less severe, her bedraggled appearance has seen better days. “You know, you look familiar,” he remarks. “I feel like I’ve seen your face before.”
“Oh, well, I’ve been on the news a few times. Mostly local stuff,” Mei says, surprised at the recognition. “I haven’t really done the hero business full-time for a while.”
He thinks for a moment. He felt like he had met her in the flesh before. He had met plenty of heroes in his life so trying to pick one out of the sea of faces proved difficult. He allows the silence to grow between them for a moment as he studies her face. It clicks. He had met her years back. She had been helping in a raid with another group of heroes. Most of her team had been wiped out, and she stood her ground fighting to protect them. He remembers it vividly now. She looked quite different back then: a tall woman, covered with sleek black feathers and adorned with large wings, the only human part of her remaining was her face. The woman before him now is not nearly as imposing and very normal, no feathers to be seen. He was surprised she was able to last as long as she did in the fight, the environment was closed off and not suited for her quirk. Once it was all said and done, the press surrounded the both of them. She maintained this crazed look, like she wasn’t ready to be done, even though she was still holding onto him for support. She didn’t even blink as numerous cameras and journalists harassed her, instead keeping her focus on what remained of her team being carted away. It struck a chord with him at the time, but the memory had faded up until now. “Yeah, must’ve been the news.”
“It couldn’t have been recent then. My schedule has been tight since I joined U.A. Younger me could never have guessed I’d end up a glorified secretary,” she offers a light smile.
“Maybe I’ll see you around, I just got job there myself,” he states feigning nonchalance. “My name is Toshinori Yagi, funny we ran into each other here.” He extends his non-bloody hand for a shake, and she accepts it. Her hand is engulfed by his, but she isn’t the least bothered. Without her quirk activated she is quite short, and often feels inadequate next to average people. In this moment, she doesn’t get that feeling.
“I’m Mei Murai. We’ll probably see each other tomorrow for on-boarding then if you haven’t already done it. If you’re teaching a hero course, I’ll pray for you. There’s more paperwork involved than every copy of the Bible combined.”
He laughs at her comment before stifling another cough. “I can handle some paperwork… see you tomorrow then.” He gives a gentle wave as he walks away.
The walk home feels easier than before. Despite it only being a brief interaction, it was enough to make her glad to have left the apartment.
Mei arrives at work more put together than she was yesterday. Her dark hair is pulled back, and she managed to work herself up enough to apply a small amount of makeup. Just enough to cover her light freckles and lack of sleep. She looks more professional than she feels. Her office is compact, occupied only by her desk and what sits on it. It used to be more claustrophobic before the personnel files were converted to digital. She sits at her desk to review her calendar, finding it emptier than usual. She sighs in relief, looks like an easy day. The next thing she sees is an email from Principal Nezu about new faculty onboarding. Of course, attached to that email is a million calendar invites for meetings. She tenses for a moment before realizing most of them aren’t for today. In fact, there is only one scheduled today at all: Toshinori Yagi.
“Oh, that guy,” she mumbles to herself. She nips on her thumb nail as she starts the lengthy paperwork process. Yagi already had some documents on file that she needed to verify. She expects this to be a routine process but is slapped in the face by the egregious censorship of his personal information. Most of it was unusable, with black marks covering every other line. She couldn’t even tell what his quirk was. She clenches her teeth and pulls together what she can, the rest will have to be Nezu’s problem. Surely, he knows about this already.
Once she’s finished, she decides to treat herself to some coffee. She pushes the door open to the breakroom and peaks in. She shows some caution about revealing her presence, some of her coworkers she’d rather avoid. When she spots him, she is ready to turn on her heels. Before she gets the chance, Eraser Head (someone she doesn’t mind so much), flings the door open and shimmies past her. He doesn’t say a word, just peers at her through long, locks of hair. He looks drained, at least more than usual. She looks at him, pleading with her eyes only to be met with an insidious smile peaking from under his binding cloth. Oh God, it’s too late to run now. She’s already looked back into the breakroom and made eye contact with him.
“HEYYYYY, where’re you goin’?!?!” he yells after Eraser Head, looking past Mei for a moment. Everything about him is loud in some way. His long, blonde hair is coated in enough hairspray that it defies gravity. He shrugs as his friend walks away and locks eyes with her. Mei doesn’t hate Present Mic; she just doesn’t have the energy to match his and often ends up dreading close encounters with him. She wants to fold in on herself as he greets her with a horrible pun. She does her best to be respectful, responding to his chatter by nodding and smiling. She even throws a ‘wow’ in there while he boosts his new mixtape. She manages to get her coffee and escape with the Present Mic™ minimum number of song recommendations (seventeen). She is looking down into her coffee as she heads back to her office, focusing on the loose grounds floating on the surface. Her unbreakable focus causes her to drift straight past her destination.
Yagi had arrived moments prior to the breakroom incident and was being led by the principal towards Mei’s office. As they approach, they spot Mei walking towards them. Yagi waves at her but she doesn’t seem to notice. She seems overly interested in her drink. By the time she realizes there are other people in her presence, she trips mid-step. Yagi reacts on instinct, allowing her to fall into him instead of planting onto the floor. He also whips out his hand to catch her coffee, which she managed to keep hold of. Their hands meet on the cup while he uses his free arm to help steady her. Both of them fail to notice Nezu retracting his out-stretched leg.
“Miss Murai, you really must be more careful,” Nezu chirps, not a hint of guilt in his voice. “Anyway, I’ve got to be going now that you’ve met.” He strolls away without another word. Mei is a bit surprised, that was the shortest Nezu encounter she’s ever had. However, that surprise isn’t enough to overcome her embarrassment. She can feel her cheeks grow warm as she looks up at Yagi. She finds herself enjoying his touch, his hands are firm and warm against her skin. She dismisses the feeling, reminding herself that they just met. No reason to get excited about anything.
“Thank you… I’m not usually this clumsy,” she remarks and retreats from his arms. She takes a sip of coffee and looks to the side.
“It’s alright, as long as you’re okay,” he says with a smile, hoping to comfort. Mei offers a sheepish nod before leading him to her office in silence. Their meeting starts as anyone would expect, ‘sign here and here, read that line,’ nothing much of note. Mei finds herself peeking past her computer screen at him while he’s busy reading. He’s still wearing baggy clothes, this time in the form of an expensive, black suit. She wonders why someone would spend the money on a suit but not have it fitted. He glances up at her and her eyes dart back to the screen, interrupting her thoughts. He’s used to the looks people give him by now. It’s either love and admiration as All Might or shock and pity as Yagi. He knew Mei wasn’t trying to be malicious, even when they first met, and she was probably curious about his appearance. Most people have a similar reaction.
Over the course of an hour, the paperwork is whittled down. “I didn’t think there’d be so much,” he mutters and rubs the side of his face. He looks weary, more so than usual and his mouth is drawn into a slight frown.
“I warned you,” Mei grins. “At least you’re done now, and a little early too. I have time blocked off for another hour or so, actually… I guess Nezu thought this would take longer. To be honest, I couldn’t even work with half of your files. You’re an important guy, apparently.”
He knows exactly how to respond to this: dodge it entirely. “Murai, I wanted to ask you something. Some of the other teachers are going out for some karaoke on Friday, are you going to be there?” A perfect dodge, she’ll never suspect a thing.
“Oh yeah, I was already strong-armed into that by Mic,” she knows that he’s trying to deflect but decides to go with it. No sense in trying to force anything out of him. If Nezu trusts him, then she trusts him. “I can’t say I’m much of a singer, though. Why do you ask?”
“I was thinking about going and I was just curious if you’d be there.” Truthfully, he hadn’t considered going at all. Foremost, he figured he wouldn’t have much energy to do it. The few hours he spends as All Might is taxing as it is. He also felt like it would be awkward, considering he only knew the invitees by name. A selection of them even knew who he was, which only made him more uncomfortable. He really did not want to show off some sub-par singing skills in front of a bunch of perfect strangers.
“I’ve gone a few times and it’s fun. Mic will get in your face if you don’t join in, though. Can’t tell you how many times he’s had me duet with him on some cheesy 90’s boyband track,” Mei laughs as she says this and rolls her eyes playfully. “If you end up coming, we could sing something less embarrassing. It’s not as bad when you’re not alone up there” She smiles at him, hoping he’d go for that proposition. It felt like an appropriate way to spend time with him, which she had a growing desire to do. He was a pleasant person to be around, and she had begun to warm up to his striking appearance.
“That might make it more bearable,” he smiles back at her. At least he would be an embarrassment with someone else. It would probably be a good idea for him to at least make a brief appearance and try to get to know his co-workers. He’s about to speak again before his phone goes off, ringing out in All Might’s catchphrase ‘I am here!’ “Sorry, I have to get this Ms. Murai. I’ll see you around.” He answers the phone as he gets up to leave. Mei isn’t able to catch much of the conversation as he walks out, but she’s glad he’s gone. Once she’s certain he’s out of earshot, she releases a monster of a laugh. She would’ve felt really bad if she belted that out in his face. It was such a goofy ringtone; it was the last thing she would’ve expected him to set considering the formal demeanor he had presented her with. She supposes he must be an All Might fan or something along those lines. It was endearing in a way.
The rest of her workday was routine. She took calls, answered emails, and prepared paperwork. It was draining, even more so when she thought about what she could be doing instead. What she used to do. She shrugged the feeling off, she’s not made for that anymore. She switches her computer off as the day ends and stares into her reflection on the blank monitor. She feels vain looking at herself like this, though it’s not out of admiration. She manages to catch herself and tear her eyes away. As she stands up, there’s a gentle knock on the door.
Yagi was on his way out when he came about her office. He paused before it, wondering if it would be a good idea to speak with her. He didn’t know her well, but he could tell she was hurting in some way. She had to be. She was a hero at some point and now just a secretary on the sidelines of hero society. The woman that tripped into his arms earlier was a far cry from the woman that he had seen before, fighting a losing battle beside fallen comrades. He knows he shouldn’t just insert himself into other people’s lives, but… it couldn’t hurt just to talk. He knocks on her door, and she opens it for him. She looks up at him and he can’t quite read her face.
“Hey, I was just about to leave when I walked past your office. I was wondering if you want to walk out with me?” he asks, and she seems to perk up.
“Sure, that would be nice,” she replies, it’s been a while since anyone has asked her that. On occasion, a co-worker would bump into her and they’d chat on the way to the garage, but this felt more intentional.
As they walk, Yagi peers down at her, waiting for a good moment to speak. “I wanted to ask if you’re okay. Earlier, you seemed…”
“Distracted? I know. It was embarrassing, sorry about that,” Mei begins to wonder if he only approached her out of pity. She had felt disgustingly weak in that moment, all but swooning into Yagi’s arms.
“You don’t need to be sorry. Everyone needs to be caught every once in a while,” he attempts to reassure.
“I shouldn’t have to be,” Mei dismisses the notion and shakes her head in disapproval. “There are certain people in this world that shouldn’t have to be caught.” They both stop when she says this. It’s statement Yagi agrees with, he’s lived most of his life throwing himself in the face of death. Even after his injury, he refused to retire. It’s harrowing to see her exhausted spirit when he has been so close to falling into the same spiral.
“Who says you have to be one of them?” he asks. Mei looks away and he notices a light sheen on her cheek. She was crying. He grimaces, that was not the reaction he expected. “Ah… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“It’s ok,” Mei says, wiping her cheek with her palm. “You shouldn’t be sorry. I appreciate it, really. I should be sorry for… all of this” She flashes a weak smile at him, hoping to diffuse the embarrassment she created for herself. She wishes she hadn’t been so vulnerable in front of him, but it’s been so long since anyone seemed to care.
“Don’t worry about it,” he says. He looks away for a moment to lightly cough into his hand. When he looks back, he notices she can’t quite meet his gaze. He’s not sure how to feel about her, or even what to say. What do you say to someone like this? “Ms. Murai, I’m here. If you need someone.”
“You don’t have to say that; you don’t even know me,” she mumbles, twisting a piece of hair between her fingers.
“I know enough.” He’s not sure if he’s doing this right, but he tries to stay firm. It’s difficult to watch someone suffer so blatantly and to do nothing about it. “I mean it. I’m here if you need a friend.” His expression softens into a close-lipped smile.
“Oh.” It’s all she can muster to say. Just. Oh. She looks up at him. His smile is warm, it seems genuine. “Thank you. I think that would be nice.”
The rest of the walk is short. They make some small talk before parting ways. She was glad for it though, after that confrontation. She takes a bus home; the ride is packed but she manages to snag a seat. A small mercy. When she reaches her apartment, she can’t help but feel sick. Tension builds up in her stomach and she decides to retire to her bed. Tripping over dirty clothes and empty cardboard boxes in the dark, she manages to make it to bed.
All the disappointment, guilt, disgust… everything felt like it came to a head today. Yet, she didn’t come out of it alone. It didn’t dispel the clenched fist in her gut, but it loosened its grasp.
Yagi was on his way out when he came about her office. He paused before it, wondering if it would be a good idea to speak with her. He didn’t know her well, but he could tell she was hurting in some way. She had to be. She was a hero at some point and now just a secretary on the sidelines of hero society. The woman that tripped into his arms earlier was a far cry from the woman that he had seen before, fighting a losing battle beside fallen comrades. He knows he shouldn’t just insert himself into other people’s lives, but… it couldn’t hurt just to talk. He knocks on her door, and she opens it for him. She looks up at him and he can’t quite read her face.
“Hey, I was just about to leave when I walked past your office. I was wondering if you want to walk out with me?” he asks, and she seems to perk up.
“Sure, that would be nice,” she replies, it’s been a while since anyone has asked her that. On occasion, a co-worker would bump into her and they’d chat on the way to the garage, but this felt more intentional.
As they walk, Yagi peers down at her, waiting for a good moment to speak. “I wanted to ask if you’re okay. Earlier, you seemed…”
“Distracted? I know. It was embarrassing, sorry about that,” Mei begins to wonder if he only approached her out of pity. She had felt disgustingly weak in that moment, all but swooning into Yagi’s arms.
“You don’t need to be sorry. Everyone needs to be caught every once in a while,” he attempts to reassure.
“I shouldn’t have to be,” Mei dismisses the notion and shakes her head in disapproval. “There are certain people in this world that shouldn’t have to be caught.” They both stop when she says this. It’s statement Yagi agrees with, he’s lived most of his life throwing himself in the face of death. Even after his injury, he refused to retire. It’s harrowing to see her exhausted spirit when he has been so close to falling into the same spiral.
“Who says you have to be one of them?” he asks. Mei looks away and he notices a light sheen on her cheek. She was crying. He grimaces, that was not the reaction he expected. “Ah… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“It’s ok,” Mei says, wiping her cheek with her palm. “You shouldn’t be sorry. I appreciate it, really. I should be sorry for… all of this” She flashes a weak smile at him, hoping to diffuse the embarrassment she created for herself. She wishes she hadn’t been so vulnerable in front of him, but it’s been so long since anyone seemed to care.
“Don’t worry about it,” he says. He looks away for a moment to lightly cough into his hand. When he looks back, he notices she can’t quite meet his gaze. He’s not sure how to feel about her, or even what to say. What do you say to someone like this? “Ms. Murai, I’m here. If you need someone.”
“You don’t have to say that; you don’t even know me,” she mumbles, twisting a piece of hair between her fingers.
“I know enough.” He’s not sure if he’s doing this right, but he tries to stay firm. It’s difficult to watch someone suffer so blatantly and to do nothing about it. “I mean it. I’m here if you need a friend.” His expression softens into a close-lipped smile.
“Oh.” It’s all she can muster to say. Just. Oh. She looks up at him. His smile is warm, it seems genuine. “Thank you. I think that would be nice.”
The rest of the walk is short. They make some small talk before parting ways. She was glad for it though, after that confrontation. She takes a bus home; the ride is packed but she manages to snag a seat. A small mercy. When she reaches her apartment, she can’t help but feel sick. Tension builds up in her stomach and she decides to retire to her bed. Tripping over dirty clothes and empty cardboard boxes in the dark, she manages to make it to bed.
All the disappointment, guilt, disgust… everything felt like it came to a head today. Yet, she didn’t come out of it alone. It didn’t dispel the clenched fist in her gut, but it loosened its grasp.