Chapter Text
(213) 385-5730: Hey Kev, it’s Jeremy. I had to get a new phone because a-lesbian-who-will-not-be-named pushed me into the pool yesterday and it is, unfortunately, completely unsalvageable. I lost all my contacts :( But I remembered your number! :)
Jean: This is not Kev. Wrong number.
(213) 385-5730: Oh heck. I’m sorry
I’ve spent years thinking I was so cool for memorizing like, four different phone numbers, and now you’re telling me I messed this one up?
Jean: Yes. Goodbye.
(213) 385-5730: I already said sorry, no need to be rude about it.
Jean: And yet you are continuing to waste my time.
(213) 385-5730: Message received. Adios, mean stranger
Jean: Kev as in Kevin Day?
(213) 385-5730: Hello, mean stranger!
I don’t really know how to answer that
Jean: Are you incapable of responding yes or no?
(213) 385-5730: I see you’re still eagerly roleplaying as a cactus
Of course I can answer yes or no. That’s just an awful lot of personal information to be sharing with someone I don’t know
Jean: You’ve already confirmed it with the intentional vagueness.
(213) 385-5730: Crap
Yes, I was trying to text Kevin Day. It’s honestly really concerning that you were able to guess that, given how many people in this country are probably named Kevin. Please don’t be a weird fan or sketchy journalist and try and figure out which digit I got wrong so you can text him.
Or so help me God I WILL resort to begging
Dude?
Or… ma’am?
Nonbinary homie?
Please respond so I know that you’re not doing exactly what I asked you not to haha!
(1 missed call from (213) 385-5730)
Jean: Stop blowing up my phone. You should be thankful it is on silent.
I don’t need to guess to find out Kevin’s number. Your idiocy is fortunately inconsequential.
(213) 385-5730: My idiocy??? I’m pretty sure 99.9% of the population wouldn’t assume a random person named “Kev” was a niche celebrity. What kind of lucky guess was that, anyway?
Jean: I’d consider it the opposite of luck.
(213) 385-5730: What does that even mean?
Wait, do you know Kevin?
Jean: We’ve crossed paths.
I already know his phone number, if that’s what you’re unsubtly asking.
(213) 385-5730: Oooh. The plot thickens, mean stranger
Well that’s honestly a relief. Kev would probably have eaten me alive if he found out I messed up so badly.
Jean: You seem to be on very good terms.
(213) 385-5730: And I’d like to keep it that way! So please don’t tell him I almost leaked his number to a stranger, yeah?
Jean: I wouldn’t. We’re
(213) 385-5730: We’re?
Jean: Nevermind. That sent on accident.
(213) 385-5730: Nope, now I’m curious and you have to tell me. We’re what?
Jean: I don’t have to do anything.
(213) 385-5730: I guess you’re technically right, but that’d be a huge conversation-killer.
Hmm. “We’re… the best of friends and also coincidentally phone number neighbors!”
“We’re… reluctant frenemies thanks to tons of other people who aren’t just Jeremy sending texts to the wrong number!”
Jean: Kevin and I are not that close.
(213) 385-5730: How do you know each other?
Jean: Nosy.
(213) 385-5730: Absolutely. It’s a small world!
I’ll go first if you’re feeling shy. I’m a striker for USC, so Kev and I have a fabulous rivalry-slash-friendship thing going on, even if we’re in different districts. It makes for a fun championship circuit, that’s for sure. Maybe one day we’ll poach him from Riko, haha.
Do you play, too? Is that how you know each other?
Jean: I don’t want to talk about Exy.
(213) 385-5730: Okaaay. That’s fine! Kev and I have been friends for a few years, and I do know he’s capable of talking about other things despite how torturous it probably is for him. When did the two of you meet?
Jean: I don’t want to talk about Kevin Day.
(213) 385-5730: Mean stranger, you’ve got to give me something here.
Jean: No. I don’t.
This was a mistake. Don’t text this number again.
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(213) 385-5730: Hey
I’m sorry, I know you told me not to text you, but you’re one of the only people I’ve met who has mentioned knowing Kevin personally
And you have the same area code, so I figure maybe you knew him when he was younger or something and could possibly do a welfare check if I’m not just getting incredibly paranoid
I double-checked the number before sending a message this time but he still isn’t responding to any of my texts, and I’m starting to get a little worried. That’s not like him at all. Have you heard anything?
Jean: Of course.
(213) 385-5730: Oh thank god. So he’s okay?
Jean: Of course you would disregard the one single thing I asked for because of Kevin.
Anything for Kevin fucking Day.
(213) 385-5730: Whoa
Hold on.
I don’t know what’s going on
Are you alright?
Jean: What a joke
Delete my number.
(213) 385-5730: You kind of sound like you could use someone to talk to?
Jean: Are you asking or telling me?
(213) 385-5730: Would you like someone to talk to? You don't have to share anything you don't want to.
(draft) He left me here alone
(draft) Who the fuck do you even think you are
(draft) Why is it always Kevin
(draft) I had to reset my own dislocated shoulder today
(draft) I already deleted you why are you back and what do you want from me?
Jean: I shouldn't take my foul mood out on you. I apologize.
(213) 385-5730: No worries at all. Did something happen?
Jean: Have you ever been betrayed by someone you trusted?
(213) 385-5730: Yeah, of course. Are we talking like, girlfriend cheated on you, or one of your family members turned out to be a serial killer?
Jean: Let's go with that. It's close enough.
My… boyfriend. Left me.
(213) 385-5730: Ah. I'm so sorry. Break-ups are never easy. I don’t blame you at all for being in a “foul mood,” even though I do kind of blame you for writing like a character from a Jane Austen novel.
Jean: I will choose to ignore your rudeness about my diction and derogatory comparison to a British woman just this once.
It’s an apt description.
But he’s gone, and now I do not have anyone.
(213) 385-5730: This is me, being super grateful for your charitable act of kindness. Next time, I’ll find a better author to compare you to.
And that’s not true. I’m here now, for as long as you’ll have me! :)
Jean: I suppose.
What do you do when there’s no hope?
(213) 385-5730: Do you want my honest answer or do you want comforting advice that sounds like it came from a therapist?
Jean: The former.
(213) 385-5730: Cry a lot. Take my feelings out on an Exy court or go on a long run. Go find a puppy or a teammate to cuddle. One time I jumped into our practice pool fully-clothed and just screamed underwater for like, a minute straight. Probably not the healthiest of coping mechanisms, but letting all the sorrow out helps, even if you feel empty afterwards. It’s better than bearing that heaviness alone.
Jean: I can’t do any of those things.
I didn’t think Trojans had any negative emotions and were better than the rest of us, anyway.
(213) 385-5730: So you DO play! :)
In West Virginia, too… I bet you grew up in the shadow of the Ravens. What position? Where are you signed now?
Jean: No. I don’t play.
(213) 385-5730: Oh, my bad
Do you have a favorite team, at least?
Jean: I am not going to talk with you about Exy.
I have to go.
Jeremy Knox: Shoot. I really stuck my foot in my mouth, huh?
Before you go, is there something I can call you, or should I just save you as “Mean Stranger” in my contacts?
(draft) Don’t call me anything
(draft) Y.
(draft) Does it even matter?
Jean: J is fine.
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Jean: He's going to kill me, Kevin. Is that worth it, for you?
(Message delivery failed. The number you are trying to reach is no longer in service.)
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