Work Text:
A very belated Valentine for FuzzyGoblinoid [FuzzyGoblin]
Much love and thanks to
[Yes_its_unholy] for the beta read. There were tips and advice given. I took some of it, ignored some of it, and probably missed a few mistakes here and there. Blame me, not my beta.
Lovers In a Dangerous Time
“Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight;
You’ve got to kick at the darkness ‘til it bleeds daylight.”
-Bruce Cockburn
It would be inaccurate to say Crowley’s existence has gone to Hell when Aziraphale returned to Heaven, since his existence had literally gone to Hell when he fell and became a demon. But that hadn’t been too terrible; not with Aziraphale around. No, they didn’t always see eye to eye, and Aziraphale did have that annoying tendency to try and make Crowley do the ‘right thing’ or ‘be good’. But they understood each other, they’d learned to compromise and work together. Most importantly, they had alleviated each other’s loneliness. Crowley might even grudgingly admit to being content, all those years when he and the angel were the only two permanent supernatural beings around. He hadn’t planned to fall in love with the angel… wasn’t even aware demons were capable of love. And honestly, a demon and an angel seemed more star-crossed than Romeo and Juliet could ever dream of being. But maybe it was one more joke on Her part; the humans did say ‘God has a sense of humor’, and Crowley knew this was true (She was fond of puns, loved a good fart joke, and of course ‘the dinosaurs’) Maybe She was sitting in Her Heavenly rooms having a good chuckle over a lovesick demon moping around various pubs trying to drink themselves to a stupor.
Crowley was currently in a pub in a tiny town, successfully avoiding Shax (who was, not surprisingly, extremely ill-suited to being a Lord of Hell and kept asking Crowley for advice) and Furfur (who was, surprisingly, pretty well suited to being Hell’s agent on Earth; he was just really annoying and wanted to hang out with Crowley constantly) Neither of them were terribly bright, and for some reason never recognized Crowley if the serpent demon was in a female form; so Crowley had been existing as Miss Antoinette J. Crowley for the past month. She was currently sitting at the bar, six pints into the latest attempt to drink herself to oblivion. She knew it wouldn’t work, there just wasn’t enough alcohol in the world to destroy a celestial being; but she would eventually reach a level of inebriation that would keep her mind from completely dwelling on Aziraphale, how much she missed him, and how miserable she was without him.
She drained her glass and set it on the bar top with a thud, trying to get the bartender’s attention. That failed, but she did get the attention of one of the other patrons. The human left the table he’d been sitting at with some friends and sauntered to the bar, plopping himself down on the stool next to Crowley and asked “Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?”
Crowley rolled her eyes behind her dark lenses; it was not the first time she’d heard that lame pick-up line, and she was absolutely not in the mood to deal with a smarmy human. “It was the most excruciating moment of my existence. Hurtling through the nether realm between Heaven and Hell, having the very essence of my being scoured away violently until nothing was left but the bruised, battered core that you would call a soul. That tiny bit of me continued to fall until it landed in a molten pool of sulphureous hellfire, where I suffered for an eternity until I was remade as a demon. Oi, barkeep! ‘Nother pint here?”
“Oh, quick wit and dark humor,” the man replied, shifting closer to Crowley. “You are definitely my dream girl.”
“No, I’m not. Either one of those. Trust me.”
“Nah, babe, you are. You’re gorgeous, and those long legs of yours can run through my dreams all night, every night.” He brazenly ran a finger along Crowley’s slender wrist as he leaned in and whispered “Or, you could wrap them around my ears while I lick your pussy so good you see God when you cum.”
Crowley gave a derisive snort. “That’s not as sexy as you think it sounds. It’s actually not sexy at all.” No need to mention that the last time she saw God, it didn’t exactly go well for Crowley. “Go away.”
“C’mon, babe, don’t be like that. Give me-“
“It is considered… polite… to leave when a woman asks you to do so,” a voice cut in from the human’s other side. Crowley groaned when she recognized it. It was the last voice she’d thought she wanted to hear; but now that she’d heard it, it was the only voice she wanted to hear. “It would be wise if you listened to her. I would prefer not to take… drastic measures.” Oh, Aziraphale…Crowley thought to herself. Do you even know what drastic measures are? But of course he did. He’d been prepared to fend off a demonic horde with a candelabra, and had declared war on Hell with his halo, to keep Nina and Maggie safe.
“Fuck off, mate,” the annoying human said to the angel, giving Aziraphale a once-over and then laughing when he saw the soft looking, well-dressed appearance. “What ‘drastic measures’ are you gonna take? Eat me to death?” He instantly dismissed Aziraphale and turned back to Crowley. “Seriously, babe, let’s get out of here and go someplace qui-“ Aziraphale tapped his shoulder. “WHAT?” he snapped, turning to face Aziraphale.
It was impossible to say if Crowley or the human was more surprised at Aziraphale’s drastic measures, which turned out to be a very quick, very powerful punch to the man’s face. The man’s eyes rolled back and he hit the floor at Crowley’s feet, unconscious.
“I did warn him,” the angel stated as Crowley looked at him with complete shock.
“Yes. Yes, you did,” Crowley agreed while her mind scrambled through the churning emotions Aziraphale’s sudden appearance brought forth.
“You would have done worse.”
“Oh, is that why you did it? To save him from the vile demon?” Crowley snapped bitterly.
“No! No, that isn’t why… I need to tell you something, but I didn’t want to wait while he-“ Aziraphale glanced away briefly, sighed, then looked back at the demon. “Please, can we step outside? I will say what I need to say, and then, if you tell me to leave, I will.”
Crowley looked at her empty glass, unable to bear the pained look in the angel’s eyes. He looked tired, and worn ragged. There were worry lines around his mouth and forehead, lines that hadn’t been there before he left. It hurt Crowley to see the normally jovial angel so stressed, and while part of her wanted to offer some comfort, the rest of her couldn’t help but think it was what he deserved for leaving her.
“Please, Crowley,” Aziraphale pleaded. “What I have to say won’t take long, but I need to say it. Please.”
The desperation in his voice stabbed through her bitter feelings. “Fine. Let’s go. The service here sucks anyway.” She stood, ‘accidentally’ stepping on the unconscious man, and walked towards the door without glancing at Aziraphale.
No one was around when they stepped outside, so Crowley’s didn’t feel the need to go much further than the door.
“Alright, we’re outside. What do you need to say that was so important you finally decided to descend from on high? Hmm?” She crossed her arms; as if they would contain her emotions, or perhaps protect her from them. She saw the hurt in his eyes; she didn’t want to see it, and maybe she felt a little bad for causing some of it. But maybe he needed to be as miserable as she was.
Aziraphale took a deep breath, looked her in the eyes as if the dark glasses weren’t even there, and surprised her by singing “You were right, you were right. I was wrong. You were right,” while performing the prissy little dance. This little apology was a ritual between them; never truly serious but meant to add a bit more shame or embarrassment to the one who had been wrong, to drive the point home just a little more. It was something neither of them had ever done without prompting. The fact that Aziraphale had done it without cajoling, that he had come to Earth and found Crowley specifically to do it... Aziraphale must be more miserable than Crowley had warned him he’d be.
“So kind of you to come all this way, to take time out of your busy schedule, to tell me something I am fully fucking aware of! Or, were you hoping I’d reply with ‘I forgive you’? ”[3] Aziraphale flinched when she threw those words back in his face, but at least he had the decency to look ashamed.
“Of course I was hoping; I’m an angel, I’m supposed to hope for forgiveness.” He gave a tiny, humorless smile. “But I don’t expect it; I’m not really sure I’m deserving of it.”
“You don’t, and you’re not getting it,” Crowley said stiffly, glancing away from those blue eyes that had a tendency to make her want to melt inside. “You didn’t come down here just to do the stupid dance, did you?”
“Not entirely, no,” he confessed as he began to fiddle nervously with a button on his shiny, new, Heaven issue suit jacket. “I also thought the chance to… yell at me… might make you feel better.” This time, the smile Aziraphale gave was a little lighter. “I assume you have a few things to say.”
“Oh, one or two,” the demon replied dryly. After a moment, she looked back at the angel, wondering why the anger that had been burning like a well stoked fire all these months had seemingly reduced itself to faint embers at the sight of him. “I’m very mad at you, y’know.”[4]
“I know. I’m mad at myself for what I did. I will explain if you’d like, but I understand if you don’t want to hear it.”
Crowley sighed. “Buy me a drink or three, let me do some much needed yelling, and we’ll go from there.”
“Is there another pub? You didn’t seem too happy with this one.”
“Oh, that reminds me!” Crowley pulled out her phone and did some quick typing. “Do you realize how much havoc you can wreak with a one-star review?” she asked the angel. “‘Specially if they’re not really warranted? Humans do this thing called review bombing; they can ruin a business or a movie in no time, and for some of the stupidest reasons.”
“Uh, er...” Aziraphale said with the polite interest of someone who wasn’t entirely sure what the proper response was. “Is that… what you’re doing?”
“Huh? Oh, nah. Giving this place two stars. It didn’t start awful. Just quickly went downhill. Even before that guy started hitting on me. Aziraphale?”
“Yes?”
“Why’d you punch him? I mean, that… that isn’t really a normal reaction from you.”
“No, I suppose it isn’t,” the angel admitted glumly. “It is certainly not one of my… finer moments.” His embarrassment over the action was palpable. “Should I… apologize to him?”
“Nah. He deserves it for being such a creep. And I’m amused by the thought of you living with a guilty conscience.” She gave a very evil grin.
“Then you will be pleased to know that I have been living with one for months. I’ve also had to sit through four different performances of The Sound of Music, and each one was excruciating. Two of them were absolutely awful.”
This made Crowley giggle with malicious glee. “That sounds dreadful, and I’m not at all sorry you had to suffer through it. Serves you right.” Although, if she were being honest, she did feel a little bad; Heaven had its own torments…they just smiled and told you it was a gift that you got to enjoy them. But she would never let him know that; even when she wasn’t mad at him. But still… “C’mon. There’s a restaurant a few blocks over. I’m guessing you haven’t eaten since…”
“No, I- it’s not necessary, of course, so…” He gave a small shrug, but Crowley could see the yearning in his eyes.
“Well, it’s not the Ritz,” she warned. “But apparently their fish and chips are ‘to die for’ and ‘the best in town’, according to the reviews. And they have a bar, so…” Aziraphale gave a small nod and followed the demon as she led the way. The restaurant was moderately busy, but they were able to get a table in a back corner where they wouldn’t be overheard. “Bottle of your best red and an order of fish and chips,” Crowley told their server when he came by. “Problem?” Crowley asked when Aziraphale’s face pinched in distaste.
“One usually pairs a white wine with fish,” the angel pointed out, but when Crowley scowled, he hastily added “But I suppose it doesn’t matter.”
“It does not. What matters is that you-“ she cut herself off when the server came back with the bottle and two glasses, poured each of them a measure and then hurried off to tend to his other customers. “What matters is…” She shook her head; any righteous anger she had been planning on unleashing against the angel when the opportunity presented itself was gone. She was still angry with him, but the thorough rant she had envisioned just wouldn’t come forth. “Fuck, Aziraphale! Why? Why did you go?”
Aziraphale toyed with the wine glass but made no move to drink it. “He said the one thing he knew would make me go back,” the angel said softly. “He threatened you, Crowley. Not with eternal torment or permanent discorporation, which are bad enough! He threatened-“ A shudder passed through the angel, and when he resumed speaking, his voice was thick with fear. “He threatened to erase you from existence, while I watched. That way, I would always know that something very important was missing from my life, but I would never know exactly what it was.”[5] He blinked against the tears in his eyes. “He knew that… that the thought of existing without you… it terrifies me. You not being around is awful; I always miss you when we’re apart. But you not being? At all? I couldn’t, Crowley. I just couldn’t! I had to protect you. You… you…” His face had lost all color and his eyes were wide and round with horror at the thought. “You were right, Crowley; about everything… it isn’t … it’s… it’s not …not really…”
Crowley found it impossible to be mad at him while he broke down over the fact that his idea of Heaven didn’t match with the reality of Heaven. She reached across the table and grasped one of his hands, feeling it tremble under her slender fingers. “It’s okay, Aziraphale. It’s alright,” she soothed. “It’s alright, angel; I understand. And I forgive you.”
Aziraphale sobbed and buried his face in his free hand; the hand that Crowley had grasped tightened painfully around her fingers, although she gave no indication and made no attempt to pull it away. Alarmed by the intensity of his silent crying, Crowley slid over a seat so she could sit beside him and wrap an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close and offering words of comfort that came surprisingly easy, despite her nature not being the comforting type. But it had always been different with Aziraphale, hadn’t it? She’d always known when he was worried or in trouble, and she always did what she had to do to ease his mind or extricate him from whatever he’d gotten himself into.
“I’m so sorry!” he sobbed against her shoulder. “You always come… come to my rescue! I thought that for once… for once I could be the one who… who saved the day! But… but… all I did was… make you miserable. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, Crowley. Not after… how could you even-“
“Hush, angel,” she said gently as she wiped tears away from his cheeks. “I should be asking you for forgiveness. I didn’t give you enough credit. I just assumed you-“
The waiter came and set the food on the table between them, along with two smaller plates since he assumed they were splitting the meal. “Can I get you anything else? Extra lemon? Water? Erm, some tissues?” he asked uncertainly as he looked at the tear stained Aziraphale.
“A less nosey waiter?” Crowley countered, staring hard through her dark glasses. This brought a small chuckle from Aziraphale.
“Now, now, my dear,” he said, dashing a few more tears away and regaining a bit of composure. “You complained about the last place having terrible service. Please don’t complain when it’s quality service.”
“There’s my angel,” Crowley said fondly, the first genuine smile she’d had in months crossing her face as Aziraphale chided her into being civil. She turned back to the waiter. “We’re fine, thank you,” she said in the most polite tone she could manage; and yet somehow it was still a very clear order to go away, which the waiter understood. He promised to check back later and once again hurried away. The demon turned back to the angel, lowering her glasses so Aziraphale could see her eyes. She saw more tension ease out of the angel at this display of trust. “Eat,” she encouraged, reluctantly letting his hand go so he could arrange a napkin in his lap and tuck in. She watched him take a tentative bite, decide it was decent, then dig in with gusto. Once the angel was quite dedicated to chewing, Crowley said “I really thought you wanted to go back. I mean, with how giddy you were when you came in with the news? I thought…” she sighed and fought the urge to look away or hide behind her dark lenses. “I’ve always been afraid that I will lose you to them, that one day you’d wake up… not literally, since you never sleep, but, y’know… figuratively… and realize you’re too good for Earth. Too good for… me. Not like, stuck up ‘too good’ but like, spiritually good… Hastur’s tits, does any of this make sense?”
Aziraphale quickly chewed and swallowed the bite he’d just taken, neatly wiped his lips with his napkin, then said “It does, my dear. Well, as much as anything so incorrect can make sense.” He nudged the plate aside and reached to clasp Crowley’s hand. “My wings aren’t as white as they used to be, my dear. And that isn’t just a metaphor. But it’s because I’ve learned to live, not just exist. I used to think you were a bad influence on me; for a while I really thought you were trying to make me fall. Maybe you were; I was trying to convince you to ascend, back when we were mere … acquaintances.” He looked a tad remorseful, but he had only been doing his job after all. “But I realized, I became a better angel through knowing you. You encouraged me to understand the humans, to appreciate them and their accomplishments. If it hadn’t been for you, I…” he gave a small laugh, “if I was as obtuse when we first met as some of the other angels are, I honestly don’t know how you never strangled me!”
“I came close, a time or two!” she admitted, running her thumb along one of his fingers without realizing it. “But you were too much fun to have around, so I refrained.” She took her glasses off and set them aside. “I’m sorry I doubted you. If I do the song and dance, will you forgive me?”
“I already did, that day in the bookshop. Why do you think I said ‘I forgive you’?”
“I thought it was because I kissed you, that you were forgiving me for my unwanted advances.”
“But they weren’t unwanted. Poorly timed, perhaps, but certainly not unwanted[6] .”
“You, uh, wanted me to kiss you?”
“Yes, very much.” Color crept into Aziraphale’s cheeks at the admission, but he held Crowley’s eyes during it, so she knew that it was a blush of embarrassment or shyness, and not shame. “It is something I have thought of. A lot. For many years.”
“Years?” Crowley repeated, slightly shocked. Months? Sure, that made sense; one would think that being grabbed and pulled into a passionate kiss approximately two minutes after announcing you were leaving would stay in one’s mind. But… years? “You said years?”
“Yes, years. Why does this surprise you?”
“You never let on!”
“I never let on? Really? I always thought I was being obvious all those times I reached out to touch you for no real reason, or… every time I looked at you. I assumed it was clearly written in my face.”
Looking back, Crowley had to admit there had been a lot of random touching, which hadn’t seemed out of place at the moment. And yes, there had been looks and gazes that, maybe, were a bit more than just looking. “Yeah, but… You’re an angel! Your lot is meant to be, I don’t know … tender?”
“We’re compassionate, not affectionate. We’re supposed to care, very broadly, about others. Not specifically for someone.”
“Especially not a demon, right?”
“That is… generally frowned upon, yes,” Aziraphale conceded. “Especially since it is widely believed, up there, that demons are incapable of the… more gentle emotions.”
“That’s a widely held belief down there, too. Imagine my shock when I found out it wasn’t true.” She exhaled heavily and shook her head. “I fought it, and I refused to believe it. Did a fantastic job of convincing myself, at least for a while.” She gave a rueful laugh, then added “But I was more convinced that you didn’t…wouldn’t … couldn’t…” She waved her hand as if to summon the proper words, since her mind refused to supply them. “I guess I was never sure how… on board with” she cast a look upward, “you were. I knew you’d drifted a bit but I could never really tell how far.”
“You could have asked, you know.”
“Riiiight. I’m pretty sure you’d’ve lost your mind if I said ‘Hey, angel, wanna shag?’”
“Well, yes, if you were that… crude… about it; I would have reacted a bit… flustered. But there have been… many times, over the years, where…I thought, perhaps, you were seducing me and I… would not have declined.”
“Name one,” Crowley demanded, afraid that this was too good to be true.
“1941,” Aziraphale quickly replied. “After you risked physical harm to save me in that church, managed to save my books, agreed to shoot at me even though neither of us could work a miracle, and that business with… what was his name? Falafel?” The deliberate misnaming of Furfur made Crowley smile. “After all that, when we sat later that night and… well, had you made a move, I would have reciprocated.”
“It crossed my mind,” she admitted. “But I was afraid that, come morning, you’d regret it. All that craziness, we hadn’t seen each other in decades… I was afraid it would look like I took advantage of you.”
“Well, then, do you remember when we went to investigate the hospital, trying to find what had become of the Antichrist? And you slammed me against the wall and insisted you were not nice? I confess I was less focused on your rant than the thought that, if you titled your head just a bit, and perhaps leaned just a tad closer, you would… kiss me.”
Crowley licked her lips as she thought back to that moment. “So, you’re saying that, while I was gripping your jacket in anger, slamming you against a wall, with my face this close to yours,” she leaned in so their noses touched, and Aziraphale inhaled sharply. “And I’m yelling that I’m not nice, all you were thinking about was me doing this,” and she tilted her head just a bit, their noses touching side to side rather than tip to tip. “And then, this?” She didn’t have to lean far to touch her lips to his. She didn’t expect him to lean into it; although given the conversation leading up to it, she should have.
This is what their first kiss should have been. Gentle, a little shy, careful. She pulled away, her golden eyes filled with remorse; but before she could say anything, Aziraphale reached out and gently brushed her cheek with his hand. “Don’t apologize for it, my love,” he said tenderly, surprising her with the new endearment. “We can’t change it, and I’m not upset that it happened. Perhaps it wasn’t … ideal; but perhaps we could…if you wanted to, of course, see where things go?”
“’Course I want to! Why wouldn’t I want to?”
“You might still be mad at me? You haven’t touched your wine, nor have you done any yelling…”
Crowley picked up the forgotten wine glass and drained it, set it down, and then looked Aziraphale in the eyes and yelled “YOU ARE THE PUREST, MOST NOBLE IDIOT I HAVE EVER MET AND I LOVE YOU!” loud enough that most of the other patrons turned to look their way. “There! Drinking done, yelling done, let’s go!” She stood up and tugged at the angel’s hand while she threw some money on the table and scooped up her glasses with her free hand.
“I was supposed to be buying you the drinks,” Aziraphale pointed out as he rose to his feet.
“Aziraphale,” Crowley said in a tone that indicated her patience was thin. “I’m willing to go someplace private so we can do this slowly. I’m also willing to throw you down on this table and ride you like a mechanical bull. Your choice.”
“I would prefer to not have an audience, thank you,” Aziraphale said, looking scandalized at the thought.
“Didn’t think so. C’mon, angel. I know the perfect place.”
The perfect place was a twenty-minute drive. The Bentley came to a stop near a cliff’s edge, the sound of waves crashing far below. The sky was a black blanket pierced by twinkling stars, and it almost felt like they were the only two beings in the world. Crowley pulled a blanket from the boot and spread it out on the ground before sitting on it and patting the space beside her, inviting Aziraphale to join her. They sat and gazed at each other, both suddenly very shy and nervous. There was so much still left to be said between them; but for the time being, they only needed each other.
It was Aziraphale who initiated the kiss, cupping his hand over Crowley’s cheek and bringing his mouth to hers. His lips were soft and plump, and though he was gentle there was a hint of polite urgency lurking underneath. He traced the shape of her lips with his tongue; she had to marvel at how other parts of her body responded to the light, arousing sensation, as if they were requesting similar treatment. Parting her lips allowed Aziraphale to explore deeper, and his tongue slowly and thoroughly worked its way around the new territory as if memorizing every inch. Crowley placed her hand on the back of his neck as she brought her tongue forward to meet Aziraphale’s. Long suppressed passion rose between them as the kiss deepened; Aziraphale wrapped his arm behind Crowley and pulled her closer, pressing her slender figure against his broad chest. A small moan escaped her, and she reached with her free hand to begin removing his jacket as frantic urgency began to build inside her; she had to fight herself to keep this slow. She didn’t know how long they had tonight, or when they might be together again; she wanted every moment last as long as possible, stockpile as many tiny memories as she could to get her through the next unbearable, unavoidable separation. Aziraphale helped to shrug the jacket off, then brought his hands up to begin removing Crowley’s top while she made short work of his tie and shirt buttons. Once they were naked from the waist up, the fervor of Aziraphale’s kiss increased; he leaned forward, Crowley wrapped her arms around his shoulders and leaned back, the feel of his warm skin against her own and the weight of his burley frame pressing her to the ground adding another surge to her growing desire. Skimming one hand up her ribs to cup her breast, Aziraphale waved the other hand and miracled the rest of their clothing away. Crowley broke the kiss and scolded “I thought we were taking this slowly?”
“I’m sorry, my love,” the angel replied with remorse, tenderly tucking a loose curl behind her ear. “It’s just that… every time I’ve imagined this, I- well, you do tend to wear extremely tight pants that I assume you miracle yourself into; sometimes they’re so tight that it seems the easiest way is to just … *poof*. It may be… habit … at this point. I suppose I should at least have tried to… peel… you out of them; but, be honest… would I have succeeded? Or would we both grow frustrated with the endeavor until one of us ended up resorting to magic?”
“Yeah, probably,” Crowley admitted, slightly peeved that Aziraphale’s assessment was so accurate. “But next time, you’d better undress me properly!”
“Of course, my love,” he said solemnly, sealing his promise with a quick kiss. He placed another kiss on her cheek as he shifted his body. He placed his legs outside of hers and squeezed them together; settling his balls at the juncture where her thighs and sex met, their weight giving just enough pressure to elicit a twitch of yearning from her clit. His erection was trapped between them, its girth and length forcing a softly gasped oh! to spring from her mouth. “I may… cheat, with the clothing,” he said softly, his lips very close to her ear, “but everything else is quite… meticulous and,” he brushed his thumb lightly across her nipple, “hands on.” And true to his word, his attentions were thorough; and not just hands on, but mouth and chest and cock, whatever part of his body he could use to heighten her arousal. He took her earlobe between his lips, sucking on it lightly and gently scraping it with his teeth before he began kissing along her jaw and down the long, slender column of her neck. His hand still kneaded her breast, occasionally he would gently pinch her nipple or give the whole mound a firm squeeze. She gasped when his lips found a particularly sensitive area on her neck, just above her collar bone. She turned her head to the side, digging her fingers into his white curls as he sucked eagerly at the spot; her pulse beginning to slowly thud deep in her ears, an echo of the steady throb between her thighs.
The angel lifted his weight slightly, moving his body down hers. The thick, white curls that covered his chest tickled pleasantly against her skin; his cock head skimmed lightly over her lower stomach, leaving small drips of precum to rest in hot drops on her flesh. He nestled the head so it brushed teasingly against her slit, and although she tried to part her legs, even just a tiny bit, his powerful knees pressed against her legs and kept them closed. His mouth danced an arousing trail down her sternum, roaming over the silken skin of her left breast, working with agonizing slowness toward her nipple. Crowley arched her back when Aziraphale finally took the stiff nub between his lips, tugging lightly, sucking, flicking his tongue against it; his left hand reaching up to cup and massage her right breast. He alternated hand and mouth; all the while pressing against her nether lips with his tip in a manner that was one of the most arousing, yet simultaneously aggravating, things she had ever experienced. To have that glorious hardness so close to its ultimate destination; to feel the heat and the weight gently resting there, making no effort to slip between her folds and find the place it was intended to go…
She tried once more to move her legs apart; but again, the angel’s powerful legs kept that from happening. She tried to move her hips, hoping that the movement might allow the head to slip between her damp curls and touch, even lightly, the hot crevice that was craving it.
Aziraphale lifted his mouth from her breast and looked up at her. “You’re squirming an awful lot, my love. Are you… uncomfortable?” So polite, so concerned, so absolutely aware that she wasn’t squirming because there was a pebble digging into her ass cheek.
“There is an ache you can ease by putting your cock in me,” she pointed out, placing her hands on his hips and trying to move them in any direction that might make his cock slip between her lips. Aziraphale completely ignored the hint, rising to a kneeling position and looking down at the demon, who was now free to squirm as much as she liked. He still had her legs pressed together between his powerful thighs, so it was a very small victory for her. And the fact that his cock was no longer teasing her was a small torture that made her voice a small protest.
“I thought we were taking this slowly?” the angel said in a perfect mimicry of her earlier admonishment, making her snort in frustration. “Besides,” Aziraphale went on in a deep, sultry tone as he ran his fingers from her knees to her delta, “I did not eat very much at the restaurant, and there is such a… savory treat I’ve been… eager to try.” His finger slowly worked between her lips, just far enough that the thick pad barely touched her yearning clit. “May I?”
“Ngg, angel!” she gasped, lifting her hips towards the teasing touch.
Aziraphale gave a delighted little ‘mm’ and lifted one leg, bringing his knee between hers. She eagerly spread her legs as soon as she was able, wrapping them around Aziraphale’s hips and locking her ankles behind him. She leaned up, one hand going to the back of Aziraphale’s head while the other wrapped around his cock. That one elicited a quickly inhaled, slowly exhaled breath from the angel.
“Angel,” she said as she slid her lower hand slowly upward, gave the bell end a small squeeze, then slid the hand back down to the base. It was quite a bit thicker and longer than she had realized, and she continued to slowly stroke as she said “I want this glorious cock inside me. Please?” Manners. Her angel loved good manners. “Pretty please?” She wasn’t sure if the ‘puppy eye’ look she was giving was successful, since her eyes weren’t exactly soft, warm and pleading. Not that Aziraphale saw it; his eyes had fluttered closed in bliss as she continued to stroke him. Well, there were other tactics. “Does that feel good, angel?” she purred, changing her grip a bit. Aziraphale made a sound of agreement and thrust his hips to meet her hand. “Oh, I bet your lovely cock is very happy to be wrapped in something warm and tight, isn’t it?” The hand that had been behind Aziraphale’s head slowly trailed down his neck, thin fingers ruffling the thick, curly chest hair to run lazy circles around one of his nipples. The angel made another murmur of agreement; Crowley could tell he was trying to keep his breathing steady, although he wasn’t resisting the urge to pump his hips against her hand. Lowering her feet to the ground, she leaned closer, bringing her mouth very close to, but not touching, the erection jutting between them. “Just imagine the bliss,” she breathed heavily against the sensitive tip, “if it was wrapped in something warm and tight and moist; nestled deep in something designed specifically to embrace it.” The cock throbbed in her grasp. “Please, Aziraphale,” she straightened up and looked him in the eyes, laying her hand flat over his heart. “We’ve waited so long for this, angel,” she said quietly, unable to keep the longing from her voice. “I don’t want to wait any longer.”
Aziraphale said nothing; instead wrapping one arm around her and bringing his lips to hers as he leaned in, following her as she laid back down. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and let her love flow through the kiss. She moaned as Aziraphale ran his head up and down her cleft a few times to spread her moisture over himself and to heighten her arousal by gently massaging her clit. It felt good, but it wasn’t what she truly wanted right then; thankfully Aziraphale didn’t prolong the delicious agony… after a few teasing swipes he angled himself down and slowly pressed forward, working deeper with each thrust.
He set a slow, steady pace; Crowley understood that this act was not so much about the satiation of physical desire but finally completing a union that had been many years in the making. And she finally understood that there was a difference between ‘having sex’ and ‘making love’. To describe what Aziraphale did to her under the stars as mere sex would have cheapened it. She could feel the love the angel had for her wrapping around her as solidly as his arms were wrapped around her; could feel it settle deep within her and spread warmly through every fibre of her being. It was, undoubtedly, the most glorious thing she had ever experienced; and that was saying a lot since, when she’d been an angel, God had smiled at her and praised her work. But that was nothing compared to this joining with Aziraphale. Crowley felt complete, as if the final piece of her complex existence had finally been put into place. She had always felt like something about her was slightly off, and just attributed it to a side effect of being a fallen angel, like she was pining for Heaven or some similar nonsense. But what if, for all those years, the thing she had been missing had been staring at her with deep blue eyes and a sweet but occasionally mischievous smile? She’d always been fascinated with him; mostly because he was simply an angel and so vastly different from her in every way. And of course she’d seen him as a bit of a challenge; what demon wouldn’t try to temp their angelic counterpart into falling? True, those attempts hadn’t lasted long; she realized that Aziraphale alleviated her loneliness, and he was trying just as hard as she was to figure out how to get by and just where, exactly, they fit in that great Ineffable Plan both their sides were working towards or against or whatever.
But what if they had The Plan wrong? What if The Plan wasn’t how and when the world ended, but how they spent their time while they were in it. What if, instead of Good versus Evil, The Plan was love and balance?
She made a sound as the epiphany struck, part realization and part ‘I’m an idiot for not figuring this out sooner’. Aziraphale interpreted it as a change of pace request. He moved his mouth to her neck, a hot spot just under the left side of her jaw that he had discovered earlier; his hips began moving in a deep, powerful rhythm that found that certain glorious spot deep inside her. Her mind, still a bit stunned from her earlier thought process, latched on to the delightful sensations her nerves were sending and let those feelings take over. It wasn’t long before she was a quaking mass of pleasure, one hand on the back of Aziraphale’s head to press his mouth tighter to her neck, the other grasping his hip to encourage him to plunge himself deeper as she lifted her hips to meet each stroke.
It was the most beautiful orgasm she had ever experienced. It wasn’t intense to the point her body locked up in ecstasy before going limp, nor did it make her mind set off fireworks behind her eyes. She would describe it like having a sunrise inside of her; a slow building to warm, stunning magnificence[7] . It did leave her body feeling weak and lethargic, her limbs feeling a bit too long and gangly to properly function. Aware that she was panting obscenely in the angel’s ear, as well as possibly smothering him with how tightly she was pressing his face to her neck, Crowley moved her hand from the back of his head to his cheek, encouraging him to bring his face up and look at her. “Oh, angel,” she gasped breathlessly, dazed and overwhelmed by the entire experience.
“It was… good?” Aziraphale asked hopefully, and a bit nervously.
“So good, angel. So, so good.” Not the most erudite thing she had ever uttered, and definitely an understatement; but her mind, which usually raced with thousands of questions and ideas and scenarios, was still locked onto the thought that they had wasted so much time dancing around their feelings because they were following stupid, unwritten rules that possibly didn’t even exist.
“I’m glad,” the angel said with relief. And then, hesitantly, he asked “Would you mind terribly… just a few more moments? I …”
“Roll over, angel. Let me take care of you.[8] ”
They quickly repositioned, and Crowley thoroughly enjoyed watching Aziraphale’s exceptionally expressive face as she rode him to the edge and kept him on it; the ways his eyebrows twitched, how his lips danced between being pursed or parted. She was too satiated to get much physical enjoyment; but it was an emotionally satisfying act to bring the angel pleasure, and for some reason, that brought her more joy than the orgasm had. She would have been content to keep Aziraphale on the verge of release for an eternity or two; her reasons were selfish, because as long as he was under her, inside her, he couldn’t leave her. But that wasn’t fair to him. And judging by the way Aziraphale gripped her hips and dictated how they moved against him, he was approaching the point of no return. Content in heart and soul, Crowley took delight as she watched her angel’s face as he came.[9]
She was smiling at him when Aziraphale finally opened his eyes. “Hello, angel.”
“Hello, my love,” he said as he returned her smile. “Oh, I feel like I’m made of tingly jelly!” he exclaimed when he made an attempt to sit up.
“Good! That’s what I was aiming for. Because jelly can’t pick itself up and go back to Heaven.” Any lightness in her tone vanished as she said “I don’t want you to go back, Aziraphale. Please, don’t go back.” Sudden desperation made her clutch his shoulders and press down, as if she could pin him to the ground to keep him from leaving. “You don’t have to go back! We were wrong about The Plan, all this time; it’s not war that’s ineffable, it’s love! We have-“ She stopped, knowing she was wrong as soon as she saw the pained look in Aziraphale’s eyes.
“Oh, my love,” Aziraphale said softly as he pulled her down to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. She buried her face in his neck, unable to contain her tears. Once more, she felt his love settle over her; it made her cry harder because she knew that, all too soon, she would be bereft of it. “You are correct that love is ineffable; but war, it is The Plan,” he said heavily. “That’s why I have to go back, my love.” His voice was thick with his own tears; but there was stubborn determination under it. “I don’t want to, believe me. I don’t want to be apart from you, and I certainly don’t want to put you through more misery.” He placed a kiss on her head and began to stroke her hair in a soothing motion that, along with surety in his voice that he was doing ‘the right thing’, did comfort her. “But you showed me that all this is worth saving; not just because I enjoy it so much, but because there is so much potential for love here. True, you and I could abandon it all, start a new life for ourselves somewhere… Gabriel and Beelzebub are apparently quite content living near Alpha Centauri. But-well, I don’t think either of us would truly be happy if we did that.” He was right, of course. “I wouldn’t be the angel you love if I didn’t do everything I could to prevent this, would I?”
“No,” she agreed with a sniffle. “As I said, you are the purest, most noble idiot I’ve ever met, and I do love you for it.” She was trying to make peace with the situation. But making peace with it didn’t mean she had to like it.
“I used to be such a naïve, feather brained angel[10] who blindly believed that everything that Heaven did or said was right, just because it was Heaven. You opened my eyes, and mind.” A small nuzzle of his cheek against her hair sent a warm pulse of love through her. She was still emotionally distraught, knowing that he’d be gone soon, knowing the danger he was putting himself into; but she found comfort in his embrace. “I’ve learned a lot from you, my love, and I’m putting every bit of it to use as I work to undermine their plans. I just need you to trust me.”
“I do, angel. Completely.” She raised her head so she could meet his eyes. “What can I do to help?”
“I can’t ask that of you, my love. It’s too dangerous.”
“Aziraphale,” the demon growled warningly. “Don’t you dare. Don’t try doing this alone, not after last night. Not after we finally got to be ‘us’. We work well together; you said so yourself! Now either tell me what I can do to help, or-or I’ll never kiss you again!”
The reluctance in Aziraphale’s eyes quickly changed to horrified shock. “You don’t fight fair,” he grumbled.
“Yeah, well, I’m a demon; we avoid fair the same way we avoid holy water. B’sides, you threatened to never speak to me again if I didn’t come up with a plan to avert the last Apocalypse, so…”
The angel glared at her for a moment before giving a defeated sigh and explaining what he’d been doing and what he was still trying to accomplish. Crowley listened, impressed with what Aziraphale had accomplished so far and finding no faults in the rest of the angel’s plan.
“You need an ally, down there,” Crowley stated once the angel had finished.
“That would be helpful, but I don’t see how that can happen. I’m not exactly on… good terms with anyone down there.”
“I’ll get you your ally. Just trust me, angel.”
Since Aziraphale had told Heaven he was going to Earth to check in Muriel, they drove back to London so he could do so. “There are so many things I’m not being… completely honest about, obviously,” he explained when he asked for a ride. “I figure I should be truthful when I can.” He looked slightly distressed as he admitted this, since he was still enough of an angel to find lying distasteful; but not as distressed as he would have been a few years ago. Of course, Crowley agreed; she had to go back anyway; and if it gave them a little more time together before they went their separate ways, so much the better.
Crowley parked a few blocks from the bookshop, not daring to get closer and risk being seen together.
“I wish we weren’t doing this, angel,” Crowley sighed.
“I know, my love,” he replied, reaching out for her hand and trying to stay optimistic. “But we are certainly the… most qualified beings for this; and at least this time,” he said with a tender smile, “we know what’s waiting for us once we’re done.”
Crowley returned the smile and gave his hand a small squeeze. “We should probably get on with it, then,” she said with resignation. “Furfur’s probably figured out I’m back by now.”
“I still can’t believe he doesn’t know you’re you, when you’re in this form,” the angel exclaimed as he stepped out of the car. “Not even a demon can be that stupid.”
“This is the demon who literally handed over the evidence that would have gotten me, and possibly you, destroyed,” Crowley reminded him as she got out of the car and came around the passenger side. “I really can’t prepare you for how painful his stupidity is.” She could tell Aziraphale didn’t fully believe her, but he was about to find out that she wasn’t kidding.
She took one more long look at the angel; he still looked tired and stressed, but not as much as he had last night. She realized she had never wondered about Aziraphale’s misery while she was wallowing in her own, so convinced that he’d wanted to go that he must have been ecstatic to be back in Heaven. Now she wondered if she’d be able to think of anything else while they were apart.
Her look might have been a little too intense; Aziraphale flushed and looked around quickly before turning to face her again. “Well, my love, it was certainly… nice … to-“
Crowley moved quickly; grabbing the angel’s lapels and forcefully shoving him back a few steps and pressing him against a brick wall. “Nice?” she growled as she pressed her nose to his. “Last night wasn’t nice! Last night was spectacular and you fucking know it!” Aziraphale’s eyes were wide, but the way his tongue darted out to lick lips that were turning up in a tiny, delighted smile told her he knew where this was going. “Aziraphale, if you do anything stupid and get yourself killed, I will find every last molecule of your being, reassemble them, and kill you all over again! Do you hear me? Or are you just imagining me kissing you again?”[11]
“Yes.”
“Idiot,” the demon said affectionately before she turned her head and leaned in to kiss him. She relaxed her grip a little as Aziraphale embraced her and returned the kiss, but she didn’t let go; she’d have to, eventually, but for now she would hold on to him as long as she could.
They continued to kiss until the sound of a digital camera clicking, followed by “Well, well, well… What have we here?” interrupted them. [12] It was an eerie echo from the past, and when they pulled apart, Crowley and Aziraphale found Furfur looking at them smugly. Well, looking at Aziraphale smugly; he had taken one glance at Crowley and quickly dismissed her. “The new supreme archangel? Here on Earth with some ugly tramp? Oh, won’t Crowley be devastated when I show him this?” The excited little demon proudly showed them his phone, which had a very nice picture of them locked in that kiss. Crowley plucked the phone from Furfur’s hands and looked closely at the picture.
“You got my bad side,” she said, handing the phone back.
“By the looks of you, there isn’t a good side,” Furfur snarked before addressing Aziraphale. “You don’t know how upset Crowley has been since you left. Wallowing in his misery to the point he's gone into hiding. Thought he was around here, honestly… But just you wait! I’ll find him, and when I tell him that you’re up here… snogging some scrawny slag! Oh, you stupid, stupid angel,” Furfur gleefully smirked as he put the phone away. “I don’t know why he was so impressed by you; but thank you, for giving me exactly what we needed to lure him back!” With a laugh that sounded like a cartoon villain, Furfur scuttled away.
Aziraphale was so utterly shocked that Furfur did not recognize Crowley that he just stared at the departing demon with wide eyes and an open mouth.
“Told you,” Crowley chuckled as she reached over and placed her fingers under the angel’s jaw and shut his mouth for him. “But, he did just make it easy for me to get back in there. I’ll probably still have to grovel a bit, but…” She shrugged, not terribly concerned since she had a cover story ready to go once she went back to Hell that no one was going to be able to argue with unless they asked Satan himself, and not even the stupidest demon would risk disturbing the Dark Prince just to fact check Crowley’s story.
Aziraphale shook his head and looked at Crowley. “I really wish you weren’t going back there. It’s so dangerous.”[13]
“I feel the same about you going back, you know. But unless you have a better plan? This is the only way, angel.”
“I know,” Aziraphale sighed.
“Don’t worry about me. Nothing Hell can do is any worse than suffering through life without you. Or, sitting through The Sound of Music, even just once.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me.”[14]
“I love you, angel.”
“I love you too, Crowley.”
With one last kiss, the angel and the demon parted ways, setting off to move Heaven and Hell so they could live the rest of eternity together in peace.