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666 News' Quote Segment

Summary:

Quotes that I think the Hazbin Hotel characters would say compiled together for your enjoyment!

**All quotes gotten from this generator: Quote Generator :)

Chapter 1: Breaking News!: Exorcists During Their Free Time!?

Chapter Text

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Adam: Man, I’m gonna get fat if you keep feeding me all these chips and junk!
Lute: I’M NOT! I was eating them and you took them.
Adam: You said I should try some!
Lute: I said they were good.
Adam: That’s not how I heard it.

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Adam: Hey Lute, check out this funny .GIF I found!
Lute: It’s pronounced “jif”.
Adam: Huh?
Lute: “Dot jif”, like the peanut butter. The creator said so.
Adam: That’s dumb, it’s Graphics Interchange Format.
Lute: The P in .JPEG stands for “photographic”, but I bet you don’t say “J-pheg”.
Adam: “P” on its own isn’t pronounced like “F”, that’s totally different!
Lute: It’s exactly the same!
Adam: Name one word that starts with “G” pronounced like “J”.
Lute: Gentrification.
Adam: Shoot, should have thought of that. I was just in San Francisco.
Lute: For your logic to be consistent, you’d have to say “skuh-bah” (scuba) or “lah-seer” (laser)!
Adam: Yeah? Well, you’d have to say “J-pej”!
Adam: …Wait, “laser” is an acronym?
Lute: Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation.
Adam: Huh. Didn’t know that.
Adam: You’re still wrong, though.
Lute: You just hate me because I’m right.
Adam: I just hate you in general.
Lute: You mean in “geh-neral”?
Adam: Ugh, I’m “joing” to kill you!

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Adam: Talk dirty to me, baby~
Lute: The dishes.
Adam: Wh-
Lute: They’ve been there for 4 days and it’s your turn to wash them. You still haven’t cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times.

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Sera: Adam, how could you possibly have gotten into this much trouble in one day?
Adam: It... It didn't take me the whole day…

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Adam: If you really want to get back at a man, scare him with a pregnancy test. I’ve got a whole box of old positives at my house.
Lute: You’re an American treasure.

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Adam: What are your adjectives?
Lute: …You mean my pronouns?
Adam: No, I know what your pronouns are! What are your adjectives?
Lute: …I dunno. What are yours?
Adam: Noisy and chaotic!
Lute: I’ve never had something go from making no sense to making complete sense so quickly.

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Lute: I think this might be a bad idea...
Adam: Don't start thinking on me now!

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Adam: Some people say that I have a god complex. I’d like to think that I’m a complex god.

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Adam: I’m the smartest, wisest person in this group.
Lute: Really? Then why is your hand stuck in a vending machine?
Adam: I paid for my Mars Bar, I’m getting my Mars Bar.

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