Chapter Text
You see, emotions are a funny thing.
If there was ever a time in life where her heart left her body, and her soul begged for death, it would have been then. And it would have been alone,choking on the blood of her sacrifice while the darkness shrieked, clawed and cursed out her name.And perhaps, if she were a different person, perhaps she would have felt content. The foretellers always preached that a wielder’s job was to eradicate all who lurked in the dark and there she stood,a jail keeper against beings that would only cause worlds destruction.
She tricked the Darkness, she saved Ephemer and Skuld, she sent Chirity away. And Brain was.. well, Brain was Brain. But if she knew anything about her Brain, he always had backup plans to his backup plans. That brilliant massive mind of his always working a million miles an hour. Just watching him conjure up all those plans from thin air left her in bright awe and pride, not that she’d ever say directly to his face. That cocky piece of shit had enough ego as is. Everyone was safe. Everyone was safe. Her family was safe. She should have felt proud, she should have felt honoured.She fulfilled her duty to her dying breath. So what was this oily, slimy sensation crawling boiling beneath her skin?
“I’m not even a dandelion”
“I’m just here as your friend”
But Persona is not that kind of person. never has been and never will be. She is not a hero and she stands by those words proudly.Persona is not a hero. She is a best friend,a big sister, a bartender, a soldier and a partner. She is many things, but a hero is not one of them.
I don’t want to die
Brain..her partner. Her family. The one person who understood her better than anyone. Fuck.What would happen to him? Who was he going to talk to when she was gone? Or take shots at his ridiculous hat with its singular feather and all?
what about Skuld? Who was going to be there for her ? Who would wipe away her tears? Or help braid that long shiny black hair, her sister in all but blood was so proud of?
I don’t want to die
Or Ephemer? Who would stand with him when the burden of leadership became an insurmountable barrier, Who was going to painstakingly stitch the wear and tear of his beloved scarf when she was gone?
Daniel..Soul..Uncle..
who would remember all the lost?
She wishes she could have at least said goodbye. Persona swears she can almost feel the sting of tears that trickle down her cheek and mix with mangled flesh and burns hot-cold around the metal band around her finger. The curtains call to a wonderful future that will never be again. But alas deep down, the brunette knows that thats not true. Somewhere out there in her pain-idled mind; she knows that sightless eyes have no sensation and can shed tears for no one. Ah, she was really losing her mind wasn’t she? She really was going to be over.
It would have been then .
When the iron tang of hot-red regret convulses out her throat and the rhythm of her breath could no longer heave past the crushing band pain pain pain . It should have been then. It was over, she knew she was over.Even the agonising knife of loneliness was slipping away from her now. she was over.
I don’t want to -
but I’m so,so tired.
There was never supposed to be a now
So why was she still here?
But you see, hearts are unpredictable things too. And their successors even more so.
“ Baldr, Listen to me, this isn’t you.”
“what do you know?! You’re just a castaway with a perfect record! No family name to uphold, no nothing! What do you know about being stuck in someones shadow!?”
There is a saying, that when your life is about to reach its end, you will see your life flash before your eyes.
“You don’t have to do this.”
“Or what Mr. honour student?You gonna fight me?”
Some Researchers claim it to be a survival mechanism. A way for the brain to circle through its options, look through the wealth of its experience and calculate the best possible option for survival.
“Baldr.. he, Master Odin! Forgive me! Please! I didn’t intend to-!”
“…..”
“Master Odin?”
“Sorry kid, But that’s Master Luxu for you.
“.. w h a t?”
Although there has to be something wrong with that saying because really..
“Huuuh? You’re saying you’d rather go down this ship? C’mon kid, Scala Ad Caelum has always been a ticking bomb. You really wanna let your past life down like that?”
“ How did you-?!”
“Hah! I’ve always known! C’mon kiddo, you can summon and use Starlight. Anybody with a brain can put it together. Ah.. but it’s a real shame ain’t it? That poor key kid.. they must have died pretty young huh?”
“ That is none of your business! Luxu! Why are you doing this?”
“Haha! Kiddo if I tell you, I’ll have to kill you. Although then again, staying here.. you’re as good as dead aren’t you? Shame. A body like yours would have been perfect as a vessel.
“Not happening.”
“Hah, thought so. Hm.. tell you what.. just for you. My star student, how bout a little hint yah?”
.. In that moment,
“Northea-!? Apologies, Xehanort.. is that you?”
“Indeed,It is I old friend. Or well should I say greetings, Master Eraqus”
“How..? How is this possible! You were there! Scala Ad Caelum Fell 30 years ago!”
“It’s.. a long story. Suffice to say, I’m just as surprised as you are to be standing here. Tell me old friend, do you still fancy a game of chess?”
“I.. of course. Always. Please, stay as long as you like. The Land of departure will always welcome you.”
.In that moment..
“I have had enough of your dribble Ventus!”
“Please don't do this, Master. I'm not strong enough!”
He wanted nothing more than to die.
The old man laughs, crinkled eyes and wrinkled face upturned towards the glowing heart that illuminated the storm ridden sky. He really fucked up, didn’t he?
“What’s so funny?” The young brunette frowns as stands before the old man. Though more accurately, it was probably better to call his expression a frown just bordering the lines to a pout. There wasn’t a thing strange about his expression. Especially given the boy’s status as an adolescence. But standing amongst the final gasps of a battlefield.. it was peculiar sight wasn’t it? Then again, perhaps it was something deeper than that. Something Xehanort himself had lost a long time ago. Or maybe, he just never had it to begin with.
“Be at ease young Sora,” The old man laughs tiredly , leaning his head back. “just the Musings of an old fool.” He says, barely above a whisper.
“Wow.. Took you long enough.” Sora rolls his eyes. But even then , the boy’s eyes glimmer with a silent pain. As if saddened by the fact that another life would soon depart from this world. Even if it was one such as Xehanort.
He’s kind, Xehanort thinks bitter-sweetly. Watching as Sora returns back to the rest of the guardians. X-blade in hand and determined to clean up the old man’s mistakes. He’s kind in a way Xehanort has never been. And will likely never be. Ah.. he really fucked this all up huh?”
But it is far too late to change things now.
He was too old, too tired.
He can no longer feel his hands.
Was this death? The old man wonders faintly. Thoughts sluggish and weak. Was this really how he would go? Was this how she felt? Wasted and pathetic, with his ambitions and sins left unaccounted for, having given nothing back to this universe? His faltering heart splutters wildly. He does not wish to die. Not like this. But death is relentless and it spares no one.
So alas, with a final shuddering breathe, the man once known as Northea, later bastardised into the one generations would remember as Xehanort for years to come, was dead. The last of Scala Ad Caelum’s inhabitants returned to the dust. With nothing to his name and no people to call home.
An inevitable ending for a monstrous man.
But this is not how this story is supposed to end. This is not how he wanted this to end.
With the last of this life.. at the very threshold of death, there was still one last thing he could do. One last try, to do something right.
To the one who should not have died. To the oldest fixture of his being, the birthplace of his greatest dreams and his deepest nightmares. To the one who catalysed his birth, and to the one who should have lived in his stead. He calls out their name:
“ We meet at last, Persona”
“Nor-Xehanort? What the-How are we talking..? Oh. You finally kicked the bucket didn’t ya? Good.”
“I simply came to deliver a gift.”
“A.. gift?”
“Yes. I believe you might like it.”
“Yeh somehow.. I kinda doubt that”
“… This might hurt a little”
“ Oh for the love of-! Oi! What are you doing!?”
It should not have worked .
“What I should have done a long time ago.”
“No! Stop! If you do this-!”
It should never have worked.
“Thank you for giving me this life.”
“You can’t come back from this!”
“How strange.. It almost sounds like you care.”
“This isn’t about caring Asshole! This is worse than death! This is Gone!”
Just as the living cannot raise the living from death. The dead cannot raise the dead. But against all odds..
“I know.” The old man smiles, body fizzling out like fleeting bubbles atop the water’s surface. “And I believe that to be a small price to pay.”
“ No, it’s not.No it’s fucking not! You fucking asshole, I never asked for this! I’m tired kid, Please. I don’t want to go back.” The young woman, wept openly at last as her translucent figure greedily gained in colour, structure, life.
But none can reply the lingering ghost now. The last of her successor dissolved into a shower of light and shadow and forcefully consumed by an unwilling receiver.
…Persona breaths.
Whist the living were none the wiser to this miracle