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Kon had a good life. A great life, actually, considering where it had started (a test tube in a lab funded by a supervillain, which was admittedly not hard to beat but still). He went to high school, he lived with his dad (Superman!) and his mom (badass reporter Lois Lane!) and his annoying but adorable younger brother, he spent every other weekend at his grandparents farm in Kansas, and he was also a well respected member of the Teen Titans. Yes, anyone who took a look at his life would say it was a good one. Full of family, friends, fun, privilege, and not to mention superpowers. From an objective standpoint, his life was complete.
So why could he never shake the feeling that something was missing?
“It’s like deja vu, but instead of feeling like something’s already happened, it’s like something is not happening that should be,” he said, waving his hands desperately as if that would help his lame explanation get any clearer. He was in Titan’s Tower, not for a mission, but to hang out with Cassie and Bart, his two closest friends on the team. He’d been increasingly restless, and they’d noticed, and had lured him here with promises of a Wendy the Werewolf Stalker marathon only to threaten him with bringing their concerns to his parents if he didn’t open up, the traitors (affectionate).
They’d acted kind of hurt when they thought something was wrong and he didn’t tell them, but the problem was that there wasn’t anything wrong, at least nothing concrete that he could fix, let alone explain. But lately the weird feeling of loss had been keeping him up at night and it was starting to get really annoying and he’d clearly not been hiding it well anyway, so he was making an attempt. Hopefully his friends didn’t think he was crazy.
“That’s…” Cassie thoughtfully pursed her lips as she leaned on the arm of the couch. “Huh. That’s what’s been bothering you? A weird feeling?”
Kon grimaced as he shrugged. “I know, it’s lame. There’s a reason I haven’t said anything—there’s really nothing to say. Who knows, maybe this is a symptom of… clone puberty, or whatever.”
“No,” Cassie said quickly, fixing him with a firm look. “It’s not nothing. I—I just. I’ve felt something like that too, before. A while ago.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, dropping her voice low even though no one else was around to overhear. “I felt really, really weird about Robin when I first joined the team.”
Kon blinked in surprise. Cassie got along great with Robin, everyone did. He was a little older than them and wasn’t exactly a close friend, but he was a good enough guy. He’d worked hard to earn a reputation as a competent superhero outside of the label of ‘Nightwing’s little brother’ and had taken after his mentor Batman by saving everyone’s asses in the field on numerous occasions. “You didn’t like Robin?”
“It’s not that I didn’t like him,” she rushed to explain. “It’s that he made me feel weird. Like I’d be talking to him and all of the sudden I’d look at him and it wouldn’t be him I was seeing, but somebody else, but then I would blink and it would be him again and I felt like I was losing my mind. Eventually that stopped happening, but I still remember how odd I felt. Like someone was gone, but I didn’t know who because everyone who was supposed to be there was.”
Kon tilted his head as he considered this. It did sound like Cassie had gone through something similar, and while it could be a coincidence, their lives didn’t really lend themselves to pure coincidence all that often. The kicker came when Bart cleared his throat and looked up at them sheepishly from where he’d sprawled out on the floor.
“Not to like, make this Kon intervention about me or anything, but now might be a good time to mention that I have been having increasingly vivid dreams about the three of us going on dangerous and poorly supervised missions with a fourth team member who is Robin, but not the actual Robin. Like they look really similar but the costumes are different and I just sorta know it’s not the same guy. I thought they were just dreams, but they seem so real that… I don’t know, with all the time travel I end up doing it’s possible they’re lost memories somehow.”
Kon and Cassie stared at him for a long moment before looking at each other again.
“So. Something weird is happening with all three of us, and for two of us it’s centered around Robin,” Cassie said slowly. “So next time we see him, we should…”
“Ask if he’s an alien who bodysnatched a different Robin and erased everyone’s memories of him, but I somehow kept parts of mine because I’m such a good friend?” Bart offered.
Cassie scowled. “Next time we see him we should let me do the talking,” she said firmly, and Kon laughed.
Bart looked a little miffed, so Kon decided to distract him. “Hey, but I wanna hear about these cool dreams you’ve been having. What sort of missions do we go on with this Not-Robin?”
Bart lit up at that. “Oh, the dreams are so fun. A lot of the time, we seem to be in space!”
Kon snorted. “Well that’s a point in favor of them being dreams and not memories, then, because Clark still won’t let me go to space without him, the worrywart.”
“Aww, poor Superbaby, I promise you’ll get your own rocket ship someday,” Cassie said with a look of false sympathy, which Kon responded to by whacking her with a throw pillow. Unfortunately that move started a three-way, high stakes pillow war across multiple floors of Titans Tower, and the subject of weird feelings and vivid dreams was put to rest for the time being.
They never did get a chance to figure out what to ask Robin, because shortly after this conversation, the Titans received a notification that Robin was removed from active duty for the time being. Kon tried to grill Clark for information, but all his dad knew was that Robin had been in some sort of accident during a mission in Gotham and Batman was being overly cautious with his recovery. There was nothing on the news about Robin being hurt, and he and Robin were friendly but not close enough for him to feel comfortable going to Batman to demand answers about it. Cassie had an ongoing flirtation with Spoiler and so tried that route, but all Steph could tell them was that they told her Jason was going to be fine but that she’d been asked to avoid Wayne Manor for the time being ‘for her own protection’, whatever that meant. She assumed Jason had some sort of infectious disease. Kon, Cassie, and Bart weren’t so sure, but there really wasn’t anything they could do about it.
And then one night, Clark disappeared in a blur only to come back an hour later with dirt in his hair and the inexplicable need to gather Conner and Jon in his arms and squeeze them with the maximum amount of super strength that two half-human, half-kryptonians could endure.
“Dad? What’s wrong?” Jon asked around a yawn, as the boy had been all but ready to collapse into bed for the night.
Conner frowned and tapped Clark’s shoulder when his grip got to be just a smidgen too tight, and slowly, almost reluctantly, Clark released them, although he kept one hand on both of their shoulders and held them at arm’s length.
“I love you both, so, so much, you know that, right?” He said, looking each of them earnestly in the eyes. “I could never do without either of you. I need you both.”
“Um. Sure?” Conner agreed, furrowing his brow. “I love you too?” Jon mumbled a sleepy agreement.
“Neither one of them has plans to go anywhere tonight besides bed,” Lois said, leaning against the doorway of the living room. “Jon has an early morning tomorrow. And unless something’s come up that you need Conner for, he should probably start winding down too.”
Clark’s face spasmed with an emotion Conner couldn’t name before he leaned down to press a kiss onto Jon’s head and then released him. “Alright. Goodnight, Jon. Mom’ll tuck you in tonight, if that’s ok. I do actually need to talk to Conner about something.”
“Night,” Jon mumbled before making his way out of the room. Conner looked back up at Clark and quirked an eyebrow.
“So what’s up? Did you have to rescue miners from a cave-in again?” he suggested, nodding at his messy hair. Clark frowned and ran a hand through his hair, grimacing as a shower of dirt fell to the ground.
“Ah, no. I was in Gotham, actually. Bruce needed to access something in an underground area that had been sealed off, so I had to bore a tunnel and then reseal it after getting him the sample he wanted. It’s been awhile since I’ve done that, I forgot how messy it gets.”
Conner swallowed as something niggled at the back of his mind. Gotham. “Does this have anything to do with what’s wrong with Robin?” Clark blinked in surprise, and Conner knew he’d gotten it right. “I knew it!” he exclaimed, taking a step back and starting to pace the length of their apartment’s small living room. “Oh, please don’t tell me he really was bodysnatched by an alien who erased everyone’s memories. If he was then Bart is going to be insufferable about this for at least a month—”
“Wait, what? Robin hasn’t been bodysnatched,” Clark said. “Why would Bart think—nevermind. I can explain what I know about the situation, you just might want to sit down first. This might be hard to hear.”
Conner frowned, but dropped onto the couch and looked at his dad expectantly. Clark sighed as he sank into the seat next to him before he started to explain. When he finished, Conner sat perfectly still for an entire thirty seconds before he was dashing towards the window and perching on the sill.
A firm hand on his shoulder caught him just before he could take off. “Hey, no, where are you going?”
Conner looked over his shoulder and scowled. “Gotham. If this Tim Drake guy thinks he can just erase my memories and remove himself from my life and make me think I’m going insane because there’s a giant hole in my heart where our friendship should be, then he has another thing coming—”
“Tim’s had a hell of a day already, and Bruce has just barely convinced the kid to finally go to sleep,” Clark interrupted. “The last thing any of them need is you bursting into their home at this hour to yell at them for something that isn’t anyone’s fault. Well, mostly. I mean, Tim did it, but he really was just trying to help—”
“You’re on his side?” Conner’s heart lurched at the betrayal. “You think it’s ok for this guy to play with the timestream like it’s a toy and disappear himself from everyone’s life and—”
“Tim Drake confessed to tipping off the Justice League about Cadmus Labs,” Clark said, managing to shut Conner up by the sudden sheer grief of his expression. “He’s—his time reset is the only reason that I have you.”
Conner frowned, but he slowly slid off the window sill as he digested this new bit of information. “That doesn’t seem right,” he said after a moment. “Bart—Bart’s been having dreams about me and him and Cassie and an unknown Robin who has got to be this Tim guy being on a team and going on missions, and based on what you’ve said they probably really are lost memories. I was obviously Superboy. And he and I were friends. So clearly youd’ve found me anyway.”
Clark closed his eyes and shook his head. “Look, I’ve never told you this, because I didn’t want you to think badly about me or about yourself or ever doubt how much a care about you, and appreciate your existence, but when I first found out what Luthor was doing, I… freaked out, for lack of a better word.”
Conner furrowed his brow. “Ok?” Finding out your arch nemesis was growing a clone of you and him with the ultimate goal of replacing you with an obedient super puppet was a pretty freakout-worthy situation in his opinion, even as the clone in question.
Clark shook his head again, more vigorously this time. “No, it’s not. I—I said some things when I first found out. About you. Things I’m not proud of. I—I can’t repeat them, I won’t ever repeat them, and you need to realize that it was never even about you, and I love you—”
“As you’ve reminded me plenty of times tonight,” Conner interrupted, his frown deepening. “I still don’t see what this has to do with Tim giving you a tip about something you’d have clearly figured out eventually anyway.”
Clark sniffed and took off his glasses to wipe at his eyes before looking at Conner again. “When we first got you out of there, I was the one to talk to you. I helped you figure out how to deal with your senses, your powers, everything. I brought you to meet Ma and Pa and Lois and Jon and we were all ready to welcome you into our home.” Conner opened his mouth to remind Clark that yeah , he knew this cause he was there , but Clark silenced him with a look. “The only reason I was able to do it that way is because I’d already gotten the bad reaction out of my system and had gotten a very pointed talking-to from Bruce.”
“Huh?”
Clark sighed. “Well, he’d recently gone through something very similar with learning about his son Damian—which Tim Drake also apparently interfered with, actually—and told me in no uncertain terms that if I were going to in any way shape or form take my anger with Luthor out on you, then I was not to be allowed anywhere near you. That clone or not, you were going to be a very young individual who had no say in how you come to be, and did not deserve to bear the brunt of my reaction. Hearing that was the kick in the pants I needed to start actually processing the situation before we came to get you.”
Conner frowned. He guessed it would have sucked if Clark had acted mad at him for existing, back then, but… still.
“I think I’ve missed him, dad,” he said, desperation bleeding into his tone. “A lot. I’ve been missing him this whole time and I had no idea. I can’t be happy about this, at least not right now.”
Clark nodded, looking somber and tense but at least somewhat understanding. “That’s perfectly alright, son. I might not be angry about this, but you’re entitled to whatever feelings you need to have about it. From what he told me, you two were incredibly close before, and I’d guess that some part of you remembers that, even if it’s only subconsciously. For what it’s worth, I think he’s missed you too; he was asking me if you were doing ok, if you were happy.”
“I’d be happier if I didn’t feel like I’d lost a friend I never got to have even though apparently in one version of the timeline I did get to have him but then he decided other things were more important than our friendship so he went back in time and made it so that we never even met—”
“And you can tell him all of that. Tomorrow,” Clark said pointedly. “Now, I’m not sure if you want to be the one to tell Cassie and Bart about this. If not, Bruce is going to debrief the Justice League on the situation later this week, so Diana and Barry or Wally could pass it along—”
“Literally already texting them to meet me here tomorrow morning for a field trip to resolve the bodysnatched Robin situation,” Conner said, pulling out his phone and navigating into their group chat.
“I already told you that nobody has bodysnatched anyone.”
Conner just snorted, continuing to type out his message as he strolled out of the room. “Sure. Night, dad.”
The next morning, Cassie and Bart were at the Kents’ apartment building bright and early. Conner buzzed them up and quickly gave them a rundown of what Clark had told him the night before. Both of them were obviously on board with his plan to go confront Tim Drake about erasing himself from their team and their lives as soon as possible—well, when Cassie found out they were going to Gotham and there was a chance of them encountering Stephanie Brown, she made them wait for her to run back to her place so she could change into something ‘gayer’, but then they were off.
If Bruce Wayne’s butler was surprised to see a gaggle of superpowered teens not particularly close to any of the inhabitants show up at their Manor’s gate and ask to be let in, he didn’t show it, greeting them warmly and offering to take their jackets. Bart was the only one who handed his over, since both Conner and Cassie were in the ‘it’s part of my outfit’ camp. Once that was all done, Mr. Pennyworth gave them a kindly smile and said,
“I take it you’re here regarding Master Tim and the previous timeline that was discovered yesterday.”
“Yesishehere?” Bart said, whipping his head around to look at every doorway in the foyer.
Mr. Pennyworth nodded and gestured for them to follow after him. “Of course. We don’t intend on losing track of him again anytime soon, I assure you. The household has just finished breakfast and I believe I saw Master Tim being pulled in the direction of the den by his siblings. They have thus far been largely resistant to leaving him without one or more of them in the same room, but I’m sure if you promise not to allow him to conduct any time travel experiments on your watch, they might grant you a few moments alone to air your own grievances.”
“Don’t make promises I won’t keep, Alfie,” drawled a semi-familiar voice as Conner and his friends spilled into the Wayne family’s den. The cadence and tone were recognizable, but it seemed… deeper than it should be. As the kind butler ushered the three of them into the room, Kon felt himself stopping short and his jaw dropped when he caught sight of the beefy young man sprawled out in the armchair closest to the door and twisting back to face them.
“Robin?”
Robin—Jason—snorted in amusement, although his eyes remained grim. “‘Sup, Superboy. I’m guessing your pops told you about the baby bird I caught yesterday.”
“What happened ?” Cassie sputtered out, stopping next to Conner so she could gawk at him too. He must have grown nearly a foot since the last time they’d seen him, and his frame had filled out considerably. There was also something harsher in the lines of his face, and his hair—
“Nice dye job!” Bart chirped. “Skunk chic, I love it!”
A quiet huff caught Conner’s attention, and his gaze snapped over towards a couch on the other side of the room. Robin’s little brother (Damon? Dorian? Something like that) was there, looking up at them from his Nintendo Switch with a mildly annoyed expression, which was not unusual. What was unusual was the fact that the kid appeared to be willingly curled up on somebody’s lap. And that somebody was—
Oh .
Dark hair falling into bright, clever eyes. Kon knew those eyes, that nose, that face . That wry tilt of lips that meant you’d managed to pull a flicker of amusement out of him despite himself. He was too pale, always too pale, and his eyebags had eyebags. And he was so incredibly important that Kon felt he might just suffocate from the crush of emotions that suddenly rose up inside of him and threatened to take him right off his feet. “Tim,” he choked out, his heart shattering and repairing itself all at once in the space of that syllable.
“Ohmygod it’s you! My dream guy!” Bart gasped, and in a blink, he was across the room, throwing himself at Tim and squishing the grumpy kid in the process. Damon-Dorian-whatever screeched out a complaint while Tim raised a hand to confusedly pat Bart on the back.
“Bart? And Kon, and Cassie? What are you all doing here?”
“Well.” Cassie marched across the room until she was standing directly in front of him. She reached over and pulled Bart back by his shirt before crossing her arms and glaring down at him. “It would appear that despite whatever timeline fuckery you got it in your head to try, Robin , the three of us managed to miss you .”
Tim Drake blinked slowly, as if the very concept was a novel one. “Huh?”
“Betcha these three had scars as bad as any of ours, given how close you lot were before,” Jason said. Conner frowned and looked over at him.
“Scars?”
“John Constantine has informed us that Timothy’s method of time travel did not completely erase the old timeline, and instead left behind impressions on several individuals that have manifested in various ways. For example, I have named a duck after him,” Damon-Dorian-whatever said, tilting his chin up imperiously.
“Cool! I’ve been having bizarrely detailed dreams about me and him going on awesome superhero missions together, does that count?”
"Shit, really?" Tim asked, gaping up at them.
"Yes, really!" Cassie snapped. "Bart's been having his dreams, I was super weird about Robin for the longest time—no offense, Robin," she added, glancing over at Jason, who just snorted and waved a hand in the air to signal not to worry. "And don't even get me started on Kon—he's practically been pining, he's been missing you so hard! And the worst part is, he didn't even know what he was missing!"
"Kon?" Tim looked over at him, his eyebrows pinching together with worry, and Kon just—he couldn't take it anymore. Couldn't take being in the same room as him and yet still separated by any amount of space. He dashed across the room and flung his arms around Tim, not even caring that Damon-Dorian-whatever started complaining again, because, because—
Because for the first time in what felt like forever, he finally remembered what it felt like to be whole.
"I've missed you, Tim Drake. So fucking much."