Chapter Text
There's a fire in my brain, and I'm burning up
Oh my, oh my
Alfyn loved the world so much it hurt.
When he was young, Alfyn had found beauty in every small thing he came across. He stopped to admire small plants reaching for the sunlight of the Riverlands. He wrote in his treatment log about the ways in which children laughed through the bitterness of his worst remedies. He stopped to watch the way the water flowed near the border of his small town. Every living thing had the potential for beauty, and Alfyn was glad he had been given the chance to see it.
Perhaps Alfyn had become an apothecary because of how in love he was with the world. He could scarcely imagine abandoning another living thing as long as there was something he could do to help. Humanity was beautiful, and it deserved to survive. Alfyn did all he could for even the sickest of patients just for the chance to see them smile again. When he did, he committed the sight to memory, vowing to never forget that fragment of life even after it had faded from the eyes of all others. Alfyn loved everything and everyone he met, and he wouldn’t have had it any other way.
He never realized just how deep his love could run until he met the rest of the travelers. Ophilia had arrived in Clearbrook with her gaggle of friends, and she offered to help Alfyn as soon as she heard of his plight with the blotted viper. Alfyn had charged off to the caves near Clearbrook with Ophilia, Cyrus, Tressa, Olberic, and Primrose in hot pursuit, and together, they defeated the viper and claimed the remedy needed to bring Nina back from the brink. In a matter of hours, Nina was awake again, and Alfyn would never forget the way she and Zeph had clung to one another afterward. The love had boiled over in his stomach and threatened to spill out if he gave it the chance, but Alfyn never bothered to hold it back. The world was a beautiful place, and he would never forget it.
After leaving Clearbrook, Alfyn had met Therion and H’aanit, and with that, their traveling group was complete. Alfyn didn’t think he could have asked for a better group of people to travel with. He loved each of them so deeply it brought a tear to his eye just to think about it. Alfyn loved the way Ophilia hummed lullabies to herself as she did laundry and how pink her cheeks went when she realized she had been caught. Alfyn loved listening to Cyrus’ passionate lectures about the world and its history for the simple thrill of seeing his eyes light up like he was a child offered candy. Alfyn loved the way Tressa stuck her tongue out when she wrote in her journal and only pulled it back in when she needed to tap her pen against her lip. Alfyn loved how Olberic woke earlier than any of them to swing his blade near the back of the inn for the sake of clearing his head. Alfyn loved watching Primrose dance as the weight of the world evaporated from her shoulders and settled instead in her weary but eternal smile. Alfyn loved seeing H’aanit scratch at the sensitive spot just behind Linde’s ears and how her fingers always dug in a bit deeper when her hunting partner began to purr.
But most of all, Alfyn loved Therion.
It hadn’t happened all at once, but by the time Alfyn realized just how far he had fallen, it was too late to pick himself back up again. Then again, he wouldn’t have bothered even if he was given the chance. Alfyn loved loving people. Therion was one person he had never expected to love, but now that Alfyn adored him, he could never stop. He took note of all of Therion’s little quirks between how he always knew exactly where to find an apple in every town and how he stared at the tip of his dagger as he twirled it so he wouldn’t have to meet eyes with anyone he didn’t trust. Alfyn felt as if he knew Therion every bit as well as he knew himself, if not better. Therion was Alfyn’s world, and he hoped he knew it.
Of course, Alfyn wasn’t going to admit it openly. He had learned many things about Therion since they first started to travel together, and the first was that Therion did not trust people easily. He was willing to give the travelers exactly as much as he needed to for the sake of keeping their group together, but beyond that, Therion offered nothing. He was stubborn as could be, and if there was something he wanted to keep a secret, he would never breathe a word of it. Therion kept his walls high and his defenses higher, and while Alfyn had made progress in breaking through them, he knew it would not be an immediate change. Of course not. Alfyn didn’t know what Therion had gone through to make him behave this way, but he wanted to do everything he could to help him escape from the chains of the past. To do that, he would need to take things at Therion’s pace, and he was more than happy to follow his lead.
Alfyn was still proud of how far they had already come though. Therion had previously insisted on getting his own inn room, not trusting the travelers any further than he could throw them. He traveled with them out of some sense of obligation he did not truly seem to possess, and he refused to give them more than was absolutely necessary. Somewhere along the way, Therion had stopped pushing everyone away, stopped holding his friends at arm’s length. Alfyn had been the first, and to prove it, Therion had stopped buying his own inn room and instead opted to share with Alfyn. All of the other travelers had paired off weeks ago by that point, and Alfyn was the only one left for him to share with. Luckily, Therion didn’t seem to mind. If anything, he seemed happy to be able to share space with Alfyn of all people. It was like there was no one he would have rather spent time with.
Alfyn certainly knew that he felt the same way, though if he had to guess, he would have said their love came from different places. For example, he doubted with absolute certainty that Therion wanted to share a room because of something like love. That word barely seemed to be in Therion’s vocabulary, and he certainly never mustered the strength to openly admit to feeling that way toward anyone else. If love had been a matter of importance for Therion, it had been wiped from his mind whenever trust stopped being something he aimed for. Alfyn was fine with that. As long as they could spend time together, Therion could feel however he wanted. It wasn’t as if Alfyn had any plans of confessing his feelings for Therion anytime soon. That felt like setting himself up for failure, and as recklessly and deeply as Alfyn loved, he knew better than to cross into forbidden territory. It would only hurt him and Therion both, and so, he would keep the secret just beside his heart where it could fuel him just as much.
Alfyn let out a heavy sigh as he arrived back at the inn of Quarrycrest. He and the travelers had been busy there for the last few days between Tressa nearly starting an insurrection and Cyrus finding a necromancer using blood magic in the sewers. Alfyn had been spending his hours since then treating the victims of Gideon’s dark power, and trying to heal so many people on his own was starting to wear him down. He wiped the back of his hand across his forehead and practically collapsed onto his bed. The sun had long set, but Alfyn hadn’t been given the chance to breathe until just then. The work of an apothecary was never finished, he supposed.
Therion was happily indulging in an apple he had stolen from some poor vendor near the city’s entrance, but he looked up long enough to watch Alfyn start to unpack from his long day. “I was starting to worry you wouldn’t find your way back in time to sleep.”
Alfyn shook his head. “Can’t run myself too ragged. I need to get some rest if I’m going to help everyone who needs it.” He pulled his satchel off his shoulder and set it beside his bed, leaning it against the wooden table nearby with as much care as his exhausted hands could stand to give away. “Besides, we’re getting back on the road tomorrow, aren’t we?”
Therion nodded. “Saintsbridge. The last few days showed Tressa that we need better supplies to handle the bigger criminals we keep stumbling into, and she thinks we’ll find good weapons there.”
“Perfect for me too,” Alfyn remarked. “I could use a restock on my herbs. Helpin’ the victims of that dark mage depleted a lot of my supplies.” As much as Alfyn appreciated the local vendors for selling the herbs he needed, he couldn’t purchase all of his supplies there. Alfyn refused to charge any of his patients, but that meant he had to pay for his materials out of his own pocket, and some towns had a wicked habit of surcharging valuable plants. Alfyn knew where to find the best herbs, of course, so if he was given the time, he could just pick them for himself. Saintsbridge was the perfect place to stock up on supplies. Since it was so close to Clearbrook, Alfyn knew the environment well, and if he had just a few hours, he would have everything he needed without needing to deplete the group’s funds too much.
Therion hummed as he took his final bite of the apple he had snagged. He adjusted his position on the bed just enough to where he had a straight shot at the trash can. With a swift flick of his wrist, the apple’s core soared through the air and fell inside. The fool’s bangle rattled around with the movement, but Therion didn’t seem to mind it. When Alfyn first met him, Therion was constantly muttering about how much he hated the thing, desperate to find the perfect pick to pry the lock open. Now, Alfyn had to wonder if perhaps Therion used it as an excuse to stay with the rest of the travelers. If he was free, then he wouldn’t need to recover the dragonstones anymore… But Therion enjoyed staying with the party, and if he couldn’t find himself to admit it openly, then he would use whatever sly secret he could to make sure he had to stick around. Alfyn had figured out how to tell when Therion lied over the last few months too, and yet, Therion never seemed to lie to him about anything serious. Maybe Alfyn meant more to him than he was willing to confess.
“When you go out searching for herbs,” Therion started, and Alfyn finally reminded himself to stop staring at his roommate more than he already had, “I’d like to come with you.”
Alfyn couldn’t hide the way his eyes widened with shock. “You would?” He shook his head in an attempt to recover his composure. “I didn’t think you’d be interested in something like that.” If anything, Therion seemed much more interested in stealing the herbs Alfyn needed from the greedy shopkeeps who asked for so much money for them. He always found a way to slip it into conversation no matter how many times Alfyn told him he wouldn’t be condoning thievery that way.
Therion shrugged. “Why not? It sounds interesting.” Alfyn’s chest filled with butterflies, almost as if it wanted to try and fly away without him. Therion was interested in his work. While Alfyn knew to not read too much into anything Therion may or may not have said, he couldn’t help it this time. If Therion wanted to learn more about the work of an apothecary, then he would have to hear it from Alfyn. Maybe Therion was just as interested in spending time with him as Alfyn was in return. Even if his hopes turned out to be unfounded, Alfyn always fell for them the same way he fell in love with the world each morning when he opened his eyes. Perhaps he was a fool. Perhaps the foolish were the happiest people of all.
Alfyn couldn’t stop the bright smile that threatened to tear his cheeks asunder. “You can join me on my rounds through the town if you’d like,” he offered. “I want to help the townsfolk however I can, and if any of them are sick, then you can come with me to treat them.” He knew he was hoping for too much, especially since Therion preferred to spend his time alone than with company, but that deep urge to hope refused to be ignored. Alfyn had thought he had made peace with Therion not loving him back. Apparently, all he needed was a small push in a new direction to ignite that desperate spark in his chest all over again.
Therion nodded. “It’s a deal.” He looked over at Alfyn, his eyes unreadable but still full of care in a way the apothecary knew was reserved only for him. “But you need to get some rest first. You’ve been running around all day.”
“Ah, right,” Alfyn hummed. His eyes were threatening to slide closed on him even as he spoke with Therion, and he knew not even his joy would be enough to keep him awake for too much longer. “See you tomorrow, Theri.” Alfyn only realized his tongue had slipped toward his internal nickname for the thief after he had already spoken, and his eyes popped wide open despite his mounting exhaustion.
Therion watched Alfyn for a moment, and something like content entertainment rose in his eyes. With a loose snort of a laugh, Therion’s eyes shut. “See you then.”