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The first time they slept together, Jake made sure to warn Jay beforehand.
“Jay,” he began, “there’s something I need to tell you before we do this.”
Jay would confess afterwards that his mind went a million places at once. He’d thought Jake was about to back out, to tell him he didn’t want to make love with Jay after all, or—worse still—that he’d had enough of Jay in general. And then Jay had wondered if it was something else, if Jake had a disease, the sort that he was legally required to disclose beforehand.
No, it wasn’t anything like that. Jake regretted that he’d been so grave—he probably should have led with the fact that it wasn’t anything serious—just seriously embarrassing.
“Embarrassing?” Jay laughed.
Jake could only nod, his cheeks burning.
What else would you call a tramp stamp that you’d gotten when you were freshly eighteen and over-inebriated, one that you regretted the moment you woke up with a pounding headache and a burning ache across your lower back?
“I think it’s kinda cute,” Jay said, the corners of his lips upturned. Jake was lying right beside him, tucked against his side with Jay’s arm wrapped around him.
Their clothes were littered on Jay’s bedroom floor. The blunt edge of Jay’s thumbnail trailed over the sensitive skin at the base of Jake’s spine, tracing the tattooed words there. Jake shivered, despite the fact that he was still flushed and overwarm with exertion. His lower back had always been particularly sensitive. The knowledge of the tattoo just heightened that sensitivity.
Jay’s thumbnail traced first ‘I’ and then ‘LOVE’ . Jake couldn’t help but notice he stopped just short of the name that followed the two words.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong,” Jay glanced down at Jake, his grin sliding over, becoming crooked, “I do wish you’d had a me phase instead of a Justin Bieber phase, but whatever.”
As a former teen pop star himself, Jay was one of the very few people on Earth who could say that he wished Jake had a phase for him and not have it sound completely ridiculous. Jake felt an upswell of fondness so strong and overwhelming that he had to swallow it down.
“God, can you imagine?” he asked, before leaning in to slip his hand along Jay’s jaw and draw him in for a kiss. Jake’s eyes fell closed, relishing in the feel of Jay’s plush lips against his, of the heady scent of sex and sweat and Jay’s smoky floral cologne in the air.
“You with a tattoo saying ‘I love Jay’ right above your ass?” Jay murmured against his lips. Jake could feel him smiling still. The lower his voice got, the hoarser it became. “Yeah, actually. I can picture that just fine.”
“I’d be like just another one of your groupies,” Jake teased him back.
He thought of earlier that evening when, all throughout Jay’s show, there’d been a collection of girls standing right at the barricade. They’d swooned with every one of Jay’s high notes and collapsed against each other during his guitar solos.
Privately, Jake really couldn’t blame them. He got it. Moreover, he couldn’t really find it in himself to get annoyed with them, not when he was the one Jay was taking home at the end of the night.
“Hey, if you wanted to throw your thong up on stage for me, I wouldn’t complain,” Jay snickered. He was still tracing shapes on Jake’s spine. Jake wasn’t ready to go again just yet, but he was so sensitive, and Jay just kept touching him there.
“Gross,” Jake drew back just to say, a touch breathless.
Even though Jake had been joking, Jay’s nose scrunched up. He apologized. “Yeah, that was a little... my bad.”
Jake felt a flurry of warmth within him. It wasn’t the searing, all-consuming warmth of impassioned want, but something softer. More tender. Like the delicate petals of a flower.
Jake reached over, his fingertips skating along the line of Jay’s side. His skin felt fever-warm against Jake’s touch. It had been months since they’d first started seeing each other and Jake still hadn’t tired of being free to do this—to simply reach out and touch him. It was something else entirely to feel Jay’s ribs jump beneath his fingertips, to feel him gasp as Jake settled his hand on the thinnest point of Jay’s waist.
All Jake had to do was apply a bit of light pressure—just an invitation, really, and Jay was turning towards him. They lay chest-to-chest, barely room in between them for their ribs to expand as they breathed.
“My Lego boxers, though? Say the word and they’re yours,” Jake promised, smiling.
Jay blinked at him. Then he laughed, leaning in. He pressed a languishing kiss to Jake’s lips. At the same time, his fingertips skated over the swell of Jake’s ass. He left him breathless in more than one way as he dragged their hips together to meet. Jake felt his body responding, stirring, waking up from its short slumber.
Maybe he was ready to go again…
..
While Jay didn’t seem too bothered about the tattoo, Jake was more than ready to move on from that embarrassing phase of his.
Whenever they slept together, Jake always insisted they do it face to face. The thought of Jay looking at that tattoo when he was entering Jake had flushed, embarrassed heat flooding Jake’s face.
Jake remembered Jay saying that he wouldn’t have minded if it was his name on Jake’s lower back instead. For him, it had only been a joke, but it got Jake thinking all the same.
..
In the end, Jake called up their tattoo artist friend. Taki had already done a couple pieces for Jay—a broken chain looped around his bicep and a silhouette of a guitar pick behind his ear. Jake had sat in during both of Jay’s tattoo sessions, so he knew Taki was both skilled and (most importantly) discreet.
“Hey, Taki. I’ve got a bit of a weird tattoo request,” Jake said, under his breath. Jay was at his mansion all the way across Los Angeles, and Jake was in his apartment, but he still felt the need to be as secretive as possible.
“Weird? What do you mean?”
“It’s a coverup.”
“...A coverup. For you? Not Jay?”
Jake could hear the thinly veiled interest in his voice. Taki seemed skeptical that Jake would even have a tattoo to cover up. Jake guessed that was a valid assumption—Jake probably seemed as straightlaced as they came, more interested in emails and contract protocol than anything else.
“Yeah. Can you do it?”
Taki laughed. “You’re really not giving me anything, are you?”
Nope.
“Come over. I’ll give it a look and see what I can do.”
..
“Does Jay know about this?” Taki asked, out of the blue, paused with his tattoo gun inches above Jake’s bare skin.
Jake looked at him over his shoulder. It was cold in the backroom of Taki’s tattoo parlor, especially because Jake had his sweatpants pushed down low over his hips and his shirt rucked up around his ribs.
Taki looked concerned, his brows drawn together.
“My tattoo?” Jake felt warmth spreading across his cheeks, all the way out to his ears. He didn’t really want to get into the details of it, but… “Yeah. He knows.” Jay had certainly seen Jake naked enough times. He couldn’t have missed it.
Jake cleared his throat. Taki blinked at him.
Then, he snorted. He set the tattoo gun aside just so he could stifle his laughter. Jake was lost for a moment, until Taki said, “Sorry. I meant, does he know about you getting it covered up?”
Oh. The warmth in Jake’s cheeks flamed higher. His face felt like it was burning.
“No. It’s going to be a surprise. You know how it’s his birthday in a few days…” Why was Jake sharing all of this? He stopped himself.
Taki only nodded in understanding. There was laughter twinkling in his kind eyes. In contrast to his tough exterior and the tattoos that covered his skin, he was one of the nicest guys Jake knew. He’d even offered to do the coverup for free. He’d said that seeing Jake had a secret tattoo dedicated to Justin Bieber had made his entire month.
“Gotcha.”
Jake wondered just how often tattoo artists ended up playing the part of therapists. Taki was able to just roll with everything so easily.
“For what it’s worth,” Taki said, as he picked up the tattoo gun again, “I think he’s going to love it. It’s not too much, you know? Subtle. You can tell him it’s my birthday present for him.”
“No way! It’s mine, get your own,” Jake told him, with a grin that turned to a grimace as the needle pressed into his skin. He turned to look away. He could handle the pain by itself. It was like receiving a million little pinpricks—the sight of it was a little much to bear, though.
..
For Jay’s twenty-second birthday, Jake threw him a surprise party at his mansion and invited all of their closest friends. Refreshments were limited to sodas, everyone was encouraged to bring their favorite party games, and Jake wasn’t allowed to touch the party playlist.
(“Yeah, no. We can’t trust you with that. I’ll handle it,” Jake’s roommate, Sunghoon, had said before taking over curating the playlist.
Going by the amount of classic rock that appeared on the playlist, Jake suspected Sunghoon had a gotten little help from Heeseung. If there was anyone who knew how to cater to Jay’s tastes, it would have been his childhood friend and his backup guitarist.)
AC/DC blasted through the speakers set up throughout Jay’s mansion, and Jay and Jake’s friends trickled in. Sunghoon and Heeseung were there from the start, armed with music, chips, and copious amounts of Coca-Cola and Dr. Pepper.
Sunoo and Jungwon, who made up two-thirds of Jay’s styling team, arrived next. Sunoo helped Jake set up the streamers and decorations with an exacting eye while Jungwon tried to figure out how to get the karaoke machine to work.
EJ and Nico, Jay’s bassist and drummer, showed up with enough presents to make up for the fact that everyone else had either opted not to bring any or just given theirs to Jay separately already (Not Jake, though. Not yet. He was saving his present for later).
“You have no idea how hard it was to shop for him. He already has everything,” EJ said, with a dour look on his face.
Nico stepped forward to snatch an oddly shaped present from EJ’s hands. His wild, bright grin was the perfect contrast of EJ’s frown, “So we brought stuff we knew he’d at least get a laugh about before he returned it.”
Jake smiled back at him. “I get what you mean. But I’m sure he’ll love whatever you brought him.”
Taki arrived last out of everyone, arm in arm with Riki, the final third of Jay’s styling team.
“How’s the new piece holding up?” Taki asked Jake, in an undertone, as he pressed a wrapped present into his hands.
Jake felt his cheeks warm as Riki looked at them, curious.
He just grinned and nodded. “Hurts like hell. You really outdid yourself, though. It’s gorgeous.”
“Good. I’m glad,” Taki said, warmly.
“I brought Uno,” Riki interrupted, with a frown on his face. He didn’t like that Taki and Jake had a secret he wasn’t in on, apparently.
“Awesome! Jay and I love Uno.” Jake darted forward to grab it, only for Riki to use his full height to his advantage and draw the pack of cards out of Jake’s reach.
Rude, Jake thought. But he couldn’t be mad at him. He couldn’t really be mad about anything, together with all his and Jay’s friends, celebrating Jay’s birthday.
..
Jay walked into his mansion’s living room, listened to all of them shout “Surprise!” and his only reaction was to put his hands on his hips and sigh.
“Who the hell let you bastards in?” he asked the room.
Heeseung walked up to him and socked him in the arm, just for that. “Your boyfriend did. You’re not gonna get mad at Jake, are you?”
Jay’s gaze slid over to Jake. Jake waved at him, unbothered. He knew Jay was secretly enjoying this, being here with everyone. Jay only clicked his tongue and shook his head.
“Thought so,” Heeseung socked him in the arm again. He smiled, “Happy birthday, asshole.”
“Yeah. Thanks, dickhead.”
..
Once he’d gotten over pretending like he couldn’t give less of a shit, Jay was only too happy to take over the karaoke machine.
Jake played Uno with Riki, Taki, EJ, and Sunghoon, and pretended not to check Jay out too obviously as he and Heeseung joined forces for a performance of The Boys Are Back In Town. Nico got swept up in the energy. He’d procursed a set of drumsticks from seemingly out of nowhere and was tapping on the multi thousand-dollar couch like it was his drum set while Jay and Heeseung shouted into the karaoke mics.
“They’re so loud,” Sunghoon sighed, slapping down a Skip card.
Taki set his cards down, letting himself get skipped without complaint. “I think it’s nice. It’s like we’re getting a live performance for free.”
Riki was up next. He quietly put down a Reverse card, giving Taki a chance to redeem himself.
“If you want free tickets, just say the word, man,” EJ added, solemnly. “We’ll sneak you in through Jay’s guitar case if we have to.”
“I doubt I’d fit,” Taki smiled as he set down a Draw Four.
“You’ve got to be kidding me. Oh my God,” Sunghoon groaned. He complained beneath his breath as he picked up the cards one by one.
Jake was only half paying attention. The other half of his mind was occupied, watching Jay toss his head back in full-body laughter as Heeseung clambered up onto the couch. Jake swallowed a sip of Dr. Pepper, feeling his blood thrumming hot through his veins.
Jake wasn’t normally like this. Tonight felt different, though. Every time he shifted, either to pick up his soda or draw another card, he felt the waistband of his jeans drag and tighten against his still-sore tattoo, igniting a little furtive thrill up his spine.
Throughout the evening and into the night, Jake’s anticipation to finally reveal his present to Jay kept growing. It didn’t help that, in order to preserve the surprise, he’d spent the previous few days coming up with excuses for why they couldn’t sleep together.
He told Jay that he was too tired for it. That he had a stomach ache. At a low point, Jake had even claimed that he had eye strain from staring at his laptop screen for too long. He’d felt genuinely bad for how concerned that made Jay.
(“Do you need me to read your emails out loud for you?” Jay had asked. Jake’s stomach had twisted as he’d shaken his head. He really did like Jay too much.)
Jake didn’t think of himself as an excessively needy person when it came to getting off, but dating Jay had changed that. Even three days without having sex was a long time for them.
The Uno match ended and they migrated over to the couch. Jake joined Jungwon for a duet singing Dancing Queen. For a moment, spinning and laughing and surrounded by friends, Jake managed to forget the agitating urge that had been mounting within him.
But then the song ended. Jake collapsed next to Jay, grinning and just fighting to catch his breath, and he found that Jay was already staring at him. Jay’s gaze was so warm it looked molten, and he had the softest smile toying with his lips. Jake’s heart fluttered, helpless.
“What?” Jake asked, his voice breathless. He already felt flushed from jumping around during the duet with Jungwon, but Jay was impossibly warmer beside him. It was too much. Still, Jake didn’t move away. Instead, he breathed in the familiar scent of Jay’s cologne—the floral smokiness that he knew by heart: rose, patchouli, and frankincense.
It was a strange, complex scent. Incomprehensible and compelling, all at once. Like a cathedral all decorated for a wedding that would never be, or a hidden garden secreted away behind a monastery.
“Nothing,” Jay said, though his tone of voice said it was anything but. He leaned in. His lips brushed up against the crest of Jake’s ear as he whispered, “Thanks for putting this together.”
Jake pretended to pay attention to EJ and Nico singing the Spice Girls’ Wannabe in front of them, keeping his eyes trained in front.
“I wanna (hey!), I wanna (hey!), I wanna (hey!)”
“Of course. Happy birthday, Jay,” he said, letting his eyes flicker to Jay’s for a heartbeat, only a heartbeat. Even just that momentary eye contact was dangerous as it was. Jay’s gaze was heated, dark. Jake wrenched his eyes away from him. He darted his tongue out to wet his lips. “I did get you an actual present—sort of.”
“Sort of?” Jay’s amusement was clear in his voice.
“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.”
“Sort of. You’ll see what I mean later.” That was all Jake could trust himself to say, without giving too much away. Though, he supposed he could explain one more thing. “I can’t give it to you now.”
“Okay, well, now I’m dying to know what it is.”
Jake chanced another glance his way, giving Jay a sheepish grin. At least he wasn’t suffering alone by himself any longer.
Jay’s face was right before him, his smile amused, his eyes alight. Jake watched his gaze glint as they passed down over his form, unsubtle. Jay didn’t even bother to hide that he was checking Jake out.
Jake’s breath caught, something heated stirring deep in the pit of his stomach.
If it had been a long three days for Jake, he couldn’t even imagine how pent-up Jay must be feeling.
“Slam your body down and ‘zig-a-zig’, ah.”
Jake shook his head, reminding himself that there was a time and a place, and this definitely wasn’t the time or the place. They were right there in front of all their friends. He cleared his throat and straightened on the couch.
“Do you want to do a song together? We should do a song together,” Jake exhaled in one panicked breath, his voice pitched slightly higher than usual in his desperation.
“Sure,” Jay agreed, easily. “I’d love to.”
..
After Sunoo and Jungwon wowed them all with a strangely impassioned performance of Don’t Go Breaking My Heart and Riki and Taki tackled Billie Jean, it was Jake and Jay’s turn on the karaoke machine.
Heeseung kept up an endless stream of song suggestions. When Jay brought up doing a Justin Bieber song, a smirk on his lips, Jake nearly choked. Luckily, Jay decided on Barracuda, in the end.
Jake started them off.
“So, this ain’t the end, I saw you again, today. I had to turn my heart away.”
He might have felt self-conscious about his voice, once upon a time, singing in a room full of professional musicians and rockstars. It was hard to care all that much when they were all his friends, though, and when Jay was smiling at him like he was.
Jay seemed not to have a spare thought for their rapt audience whatsoever. He listed in close to Jake to sing, “Smiled like the sun, kisses for everyone.”
Even just playing around singing karaoke, his voice was strong and clear, every lyric imbued with meaning. Jake felt a little breathless as he took his turn, and then—he laughed. Jay’s line came up and Jay slid down to his knees before him.
“You’d have me down, down, down on my knees.”
Their friends cheered and wolf-whistled as Jay acted out the song’s lyrics. A performer, through and through. Jake’s heart sped up in his chest as Jay gazed up at him from his knees, playing the role of the desperate, begging lover.
Only, Jake got the sense that he wasn’t playing a role at all. He wondered if there was a part of Jay that was also counting down the seconds until they were alone.
He laughed, though, and caught the thread of Jay’s performance, playfully pushing him away to their friends’ delight as he sang, “Now wouldn’t you, barracuda?”
..
Jake made a valiant effort to try and clean up after the last couple of their friends parted for the night. Jay wasn’t having any of it.
“Fuck that. Let housekeeping take care of it. You still have to show me my present.” His hand fell to the small of Jake’s back, right where his tattoo was, and Jake couldn’t help himself. He jolted. Jay gentled his touch.
“Okay?” he asked, softening his voice.
Jake’s heart was in his throat. His clothes were too tight, too warm, and even Jay’s gentlest touch had a fire igniting in his belly, but he was more than okay.
“Yeah,” he answered. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s go upstairs.”
He didn’t think he could wait any longer if he tried.
Jay raised his eyebrow in question but, when Jake made for the stairs, he followed.
..
In the middle of slipping off his jacket, Jake realized that he was stripping for Jay. There was no other way to put it.
Jake hadn’t even bothered to turn the lights on once they’d gotten to Jay’s bedroom. He’d only told Jay to give him a second, and then he’d just… started taking his clothes off. Jake froze with his jacket stretched across his back. He could still hear Sunghoon and Heeseung’s party playlist pumping in from downstairs, the heavy bass thumping through the soles of his feet.
“Well, don’t stop now,” Jay told him. He was seated on the edge of his massive bed, one of his legs cocked up, his right ankle resting on his left knee as he curled back, languid. He’d made himself comfortable to watch Jake. He was even smirking. “Are you going to give me a lapdance or something? That’d be a hell of a present.”
Jake ignored his flaming cheeks. He slipped his jacket the rest of the way off and tossed it at Jay’s face. He was gratified that Jay apparently hadn’t seen it coming whatsoever. It hit his face with a satisfying thwack.
“I deserved that. Sorry,” Jay said, as the jacket fell to his lap. He did look a little contrite, but it was overwhelmed with curiosity. “Keep doing… whatever it is you were doing.”
But Jake was already over this slow buildup. He didn’t see the need for drawn-out foreplay when this moment had been all he could think of for days now. He walked towards Jay. As he did, he heard Jay’s sharp intake of breath before him.
“I want you to fuck me from behind,” Jake said. His voice sounded hoarse, even to him. Tight with tension.
Something flashed across Jay’s face. He leaned forward, carefully, slowly.
“Say that again?”
It made sense that he wanted to make sure he’d understood him correctly. Up until then, Jake had insisted they do everything face to face. But Jake had already said it once.
“You heard me,” Jake said. He knew Jay had. He just had to wait it out, bear it.
After a moment, Jay let his foot fall to the ground. Jake held his breath as Jay got to his feet before him. Jake wasn’t too much shorter than Jay but he felt every bit of it as he stood there, looking up at him.
There was a thoughtful crease between Jay’s brows, a considering twist to his lip as he reached forward for Jake.
“Are you ready? Can you take me right now?” Jay asked. He tucked a few errant strands of Jake’s hair behind his ear. Though his touch was as warm as ever, Jake had to brace himself so he wouldn’t shiver. Jay had spoken so casually, like those weren't completely obscene questions.
Jake could only shake his head. No. They hadn’t done it for days, he hadn’t had time to prepare himself with the party happening. And Jay’s size… he definitely wasn’t ready.
Jay’s eyes flashed bright. He carded his fingers through Jake’s hair until his fingers wrapped around the nape of his neck.
“‘S more fun that way anyway,” he said, before leaning in to press a kiss to Jake’s lips.
Jake’s eyelids fluttered closed. He’d thought it would be a cursory kiss but it lasted, with neither one of them too eager to break it off. Jake shifted, dragging his lips over Jay’s to deepen the kiss and sending sparks skittering down from the barest point of contact between them. Jay’s lips parted ever so slightly. Jake parted his in answer. He could taste Jay in his exhalations. He was sweet, like soda.
Jay’s hand tightened on the back of Jake’s neck. A moment of tension, a little torn sound from his throat, and then he was drawing back from Jake.
“Okay,” Jay spoke, a little slow, a little dazed. Jake forced his eyelids up just in time to see Jay darting out his tongue to wet his lips.
With seeming effort, he let go of Jake and drew back.
“Get on the bed,” he said, his voice hoarse and low. It was all Jake could do to nod in assent.
Jay turned from him, probably to go get lube and condoms. He stopped.
”And, Jake?” he started, a slow smirk stealing its way across his spit-slick lips, “Don’t take your clothes off yet.”
Jake cocked his head in question.
Jay gave him a half-shrug. “You’re my present, right? I should be the one to unwrap you.”
..
Jake could tell the moment Jay realized about his new tattoo.
He went quiet, for one. Jay was never quiet, not if he could help it.
Burying a shiver, Jake turned back to look at Jay over his shoulder. There were goosebumps raised across the surface of his bare skin. Jay’s mansion was nice but it always felt a couple degrees too cold. Jake was too accustomed to his budget apartment with its ineffectual air conditioner.
He caught Jay in the midst of his staring.
Jay’s gaze was dark as it roved across Jake’s lower back. Jake’s breath stopped, arrested in his throat at the naked desire apparent in Jay’s gaze. There was never a moment that he doubted Jay’s attraction to him, but this was on another level. Jay was devouring him by a look alone. At the sound of Jake’s gasp, Jay finally realized that Jake had caught him staring.
An unabashed smile spread across Jay’s lips as he raised his gaze to meet Jake’s. As Jay reached forward, his gaze gravitated once again to the tattoo.
“Pretty,” he said, simply. His fingertips tenderly skated across the tapered points of its etched leaves and thorns.
Jake released a relieved breath.
“I hoped you’d like it,” he confessed.
Jay always did have a thing for flowers—and for roses, in particular.
Then Jake shivered. He turned back around to face away from Jay. He tried to set his shoulders, to withhold another tremor that threatened to pass over him as Jay continued to trace the tattoo’s lines. His touch trailed inward, going from the outermost leaves and thorns to the roses embedded in the center. The rest of the tattoo was simply black ink, but the rose petals were crimson. They’d bled viciously when Taki had added them right above Jake’s tailbone.
“It’s not your name, but…” Jake began. But every time he felt it ache, he’d think of Jay. But, once it healed, every time he would glimpse it in the mirror, he’d recall the scent of Jay’s signature fragrance. He’d look at it and recall the sensation of this—of Jay tracing every tiny petal and thorn like every drop of red and black ink was precious.
Jay understood.
“But it’s mine,” he said, “You got it for me.” There was a note in his voice that stoked the fire smoldering Jake’s belly, and had flames chasing across his cheeks. Jake swallowed. He nodded.
“Yes.”
Jay spread his hand against Jake’s lower back as he leaned in close. The front of his cotton shirt tickled as it brushed up against Jake’s back.
“Thank you. I love it,” he said, in a murmur, with his lips right next to Jake’s ear. Jake gasped, arching his back, pain and pleasure intermingling with Jay’s entire hand splayed over his fresh tattoo. He was no less than putty in Jay’s hands.
“I love you,” Jay said, his lips brushing up against Jake’s ear, his breath warm as it ghosted across the side of Jake’s face.
“I know,” Jake replied. Because he did, because he knew saying it would make Jay laugh, and because this was all becoming a bit much for him. His heart was racing. His cheeks were burning.
Sure enough, Jay laughed. He drew back.
“Get on your knees, Jake,” he said, just like that. There was still suppressed laughter lifting his voice as he said, “I bet it looks even prettier when you’re riding me.”
Finally.
..
Jake imagined that Jay was just as eager as he was. He didn’t waste any time teasing him as he fingered him open. He only said, “You’ll tell me if it’s too much to bear.” Not a question. He waited for a nod of acknowledgement from Jake, and pushed his finger past the tight circle of Jake’s rim.
Three days, and Jake felt every centimeter of it. It was uncomfortable, but it wasn’t unbearable. It wasn’t painful, especially with Jay’s finger well-slicked up.
He knew one finger wasn’t going to be enough to prepare him for Jay, though.
“More,” Jake gasped, pushing his hips back against Jay’s hand. Sweat was already beading on his fever-warm skin.
Jay only hummed. He didn’t like being told what to do.
Jake cursed under his breath. His request had the opposite effect from what he’d intended. Jay slowed down.
“What was that?” Jay asked.
He was barely dipping his finger into Jake, just teasing him at this point. They’d only been at this for a few minutes, but Jake was already struggling to hold himself up. A tremor had his legs shuddering. Jay was there, smoothing his unoccupied hand over Jake’s hip to hold him up.
Jake gritted his teeth.
“I can take more,” he tried again.
“Oh, can you?” Jay asked, light and playful. He drew his finger fully out of Jake. Jake loved him, but he could still be such an asshole at times.
He craned his neck to shoot Jay a look over his shoulder. Even without Jay inside of him, even without Jay doing anything at all to him, the smug smirk on Jay’s face was enough to have Jay’s blood heating up, running like molten magma through his veins, flowing south.
“Jay.” He wasn’t going to beg. If it came down to it, he’d just do it himself. He’d finger himself open and let Jay sit by, watching on the sidelines.
Maybe Jay sensed Jake’s secret determination, because his smirk evened out into a sheepish smile.
“Sorry,” he said, slipping his finger back into Jake. Jake’s eyelids fluttered. And then Jay was gingerly adding another, achingly slow, one knuckle at a time.
Jake tensed.
“Okay?” Jay asked. His voice was nearer. He must have leaned in.
“Okay,” he assured him, his voice tight. He was. He could take two of Jay’s fingers. He could even, when it came to it, take three of them—but when the head of Jay’s cock brushed up against his entrance, Jake tensed and couldn’t relax.
He was shaking by that point, his entire body inundated with strain. It didn’t help that Jay had to let go of him. It was taking everything in Jake just to remain on his hands and knees, just to just hold his hips in the air.
But, over the months, Jay had gotten to know Jake’s body just about as well as he knew it his own. He knew Jake’s sticking spots, his pressure points. He knew where Jake was most sensitive. He knew just the trick—that all he had to do was trail a languid touch down the notches of Jake’s spine and he could release the tension that paralyzed Jake’s frame.
“I’ve got you, baby,” Jay said. The combination of his deep, hoarse voice and the sureness of his fingers, pressed into Jake’s fresh tattoo, had warmth flooding Jake’s limbs. Any chilled discomfort remaining within him was chased out by Jay’s words, “I’m right here.”
Jake’s breath caught as he relaxed. Jay slipped past his entrance, filling him up, and Jake stretched around him to accommodate him.
“Ready?” Jay asked. His hand was back on Jake’s hip, pressed into the bone. His voice was tight, like it was taking everything within him to hold still.
Jake had been ready hours ago, days ago.
“Jay,” he gasped, ragged, “Please.”
Please was all he had to say, just the trigger Jay needed. Without another word, Jay stopped holding back.
..
At some point amidst the haze of sensation and pleasure, a coherent thought surfaced to Jake’s mind: he liked getting fucked from behind.
He liked Jay fucking into him from behind. Every time his hips snapped forward, Jay went in even deeper than Jake was used to. He brushed up against the bundle of nerves buried deep within Jake with every thrust.
They were closer than ever. Instead of mirrored images, they were paralleled. Jay was laminated to his back, not even an inch of space between them. Jay’s scent drenched his senses. Jay’s whispered sweet nothings filled his ears. Jay’s callused palm was searingly hot as he moved it in a fist, fast and loose, over Jake’s shaft.
The only thing Jake missed was the kissing.
He said as much, panting, breathless. He was getting closer. He told Jay that he didn’t want to finish without kissing Jay again.
“God, you—drive me crazy,” Jay replied, thickly.
Then his other hand carded through Jake’s hair. He gripped a handful of Jake’s locks and wrenched his head back. Distantly, Jake registered that it might have been painful, the severity of the angle as he let himself be twisted around. He couldn’t have been able to tell. Even if he had, he wouldn’t have cared in the slightest as Jay slipped his tongue past his parted lips.
Jake reached up, bracing his hand on the side of Jay’s face so he could arch his back. With his hand framing Jay’s cheekbone and jaw, he found just enough leverage to deepen the kiss, to seal their lips together as Jay slammed into him.
He twisted his tongue around Jay’s, drunk on something richer, sweeter than alcohol. The obscene sound of damp skin on damp skin, of both of their ragged breathing and the wet, rhythmic sound of Jay thrusting into him over and over again filled the air.
Whenever they had to break apart to draw in air, Jay had something new to mutter.
“You’re so sexy, Jake,” he’d say. “I’m so lucky,” he’d groan. “Fuck, I love you,” he’d curse, all while Jake’s ears burned and he couldn’t manage a single cogent word beyond Jay’s name and the occasional breathless ‘please’. Mostly, incoherent cries and gasps were all that escaped Jake’s lips.
All the while, heat kept building, mounting within Jake. He fucked into Jay’s hand, chasing the friction and pressure that brought him right to the brink, shuddering while the head of Jay’s cock tapped his prostate.
“‘m close,” Jake managed. Close enough that he had to turn away, that he couldn’t even manage the sloppiest approximation of kissing any longer. All remaining vestiges of thought and willpower were centered on trying not to come right then and there.
“Yeah?” Jay asked. The smile in his voice prickled Jake’s ears.
Jay’s hand slipped from Jake’s hair, dragging over his jawline before landing at the front of his neck. Slight pressure, just enough to keep him from curling forward. Electric jolts of pleasure coursed down his spine.
“Yeah. Shit, Jay—please,” Jake began. Please don’t stop. Please keep your hand on me, on my neck, on my cock. Please—.
Jay’s parted lips brushed up against Jake’s nape, the notch at the top of his spine. His exhalations were hot and damp across Jake’s skin. At last, Jake couldn’t hold back any longer. The heat within him crested, insurmountable. He came with a cry, spilling over Jay’s hand, with Jay’s arms wrapped around him, with Jay’s fingers curled around his cock and the base of his neck.
Jake’s eyes had fallen closed but fireworks exploded across his darkened field of vision. Jay stroked him through his orgasm, gentling his touch until Jake’s panting turned to embarrassing hitching breaths and Jake was shaking, wracked with tremors, overstimulated.
Jay’s lips brushed against the top of his spine, the side of his neck, his sweaty shoulder—until they landed at the crest of Jake’s ear.
When Jay asked Jake if he could finish on his back, one last shiver passed through Jake’s body.
“That’s—a little…” Jake said, his words staggered, punctuated as Jay continued to fuck into him. Too much. Too hot. Heat shot through him at the idea. His voice was hoarse, as though Jay’s hand was still pressed to his windpipe. He wanted to say yes. He desperately wanted to say yes. Could he?
Jay laughed, breathy, wrecked, his thrusts sloppy. At the sound of his laughter, Jake made up his mind.
“Since it’s—your birthday,” he said, heat rising to his face.
“I fucking love you,” Jay exhaled, uneven.
Jake was grateful when Jay pulled out of him, since it meant he could bury his face in his folded arms. He was sure his cheeks were burning, bright pink. He couldn’t even imagine how he looked from Jay’s perspective, him leaning over, his ass in the air, his hole still stretched, his skin slick with sweat and lube and pre-cum.
He could hear Jay’s breathing, ragged. He could hear him jacking himself, bringing himself to the edge. He could feel Jay’s hand like a brand, gripping his ass. And then Jay let out a string of choked expletives, his hand seized up, and Jake felt his spend splatter onto his skin, painting his back in hot, wet stripes.
He waited for a moment, for Jay to catch his breath. He waited a little longer. When goosebumps started to spread across his skin, he lifted his head out of the safety of his folded arms and glanced over his shoulder, at Jay.
Jay was gazing at him, at his body, his eyes molten, burning with desire. Like he was committing this to memory. Embarrassing, Jake thought. Jake felt fresh heat blooming in his cheeks. Then Jay noticed him looking, his eyes flicked up to meet Jake’s, his gaze heavy lidded, his lips parted.
“C’mere,” Jay said, extending his hand.
Jake took it, sitting up, his body still weak from the exertion. Jay dragged him up so they were face to face, chest to chest, for the first time in what felt like forever, and laid a lasting kiss on his lips.
“I need to shower,” Jake murmured, against him. “I’m disgusting.”
“You’re beautiful,” Jay responded, completely sincere. Which was nice, but not really what Jake had been talking about. He could feel Jay’s cum drying on his back.
Jake clicked his tongue in disapproval, even as his face flamed, and drew away. Jay had a goofy grin on his face that really wasn’t helping Jake and his quickly vanishing willpower. It was hard to resist tumbling back into bed again with Jay and making out until they fell asleep.
“Thanks,” Jake said, with a sigh. He wasn’t able to help the little smile that rose to his face. “You’re not so bad yourself. I still need to shower, though.”
He slipped off the bed, and wasn’t even that surprised to hear Jay’s footsteps joining him, as he made his way to Jay’s en-suite bathroom.
“You can’t join me,” Jake told him.
“Why not? I also need to shower.” Jay said, taking advantage of Jake having to pause to open the door to lay his hand at the base of Jake’s back again. Jake froze, electricity arcing through his spine.
He shot Jay a look. Jay had a million other showers that he could use in his mansion aside from the one Jake was using.
“We’ll just end up doing it again.”
Jay hummed, a little smile toying with his lips like that didn’t bother him at all. He drew around Jake, pressing his fingertips into the small of his back. He pulled him in, tucking Jake’s sweat-dampened strands of hair behind his ears again.
Jay’s hands were probably gross, Jake reminded himself. His heart traitorously thumped in his chest. This wasn’t anything to get all breathless over, he reminded himself, when he looked into Jay’s warm, dark eyes and found his breaths coming up short.
“I liked fucking you like that, don’t get me wrong,” Jay said, “But I kinda missed this.”
This, he said, as he held Jake’s gaze, as his eyes flicked down to Jake’s lips only to crawl back up again, his intent obvious.
Jake stopped fighting his breathlessness. He gasped in a lungful of air.
“Yeah. Me too,” he confessed.
“So—round two?” Jay asked, his gaze brightening. Insatiable.
Jake thought about it. He was tired. His ass ached. His legs kept threatening to buckle. It was only Jay’s hand carefully placed on his back that was keeping him upright.
He rolled his eyes, let his hand trail down Jay’s arm to grasp his wrist, freeing himself. He didn’t let go of Jay as he began to walk away, towards the shower.
“You can join me,” he said. “But we’re only showering, okay?”
Maybe they resume in the morning, he thought, with a little heated bloom of anticipation. He loved making love with Jay in the morning.
Jay accepted Jake’s words right away. He knew when to push and when to back off. That, and he seemed content to just admire Jake for the moment. Jake could feel his gaze on him still, committing the sight of him to memory, coaxing shivers as his eyes traced down the length of Jake’s spine, lingering on the tattoo.
..
When Jay showed up a week later with twin rose stems inked beneath his collarbones, Jake could only laugh.
“What?” Jay said, as Jake inspected the tattoo. It was beautiful; black ivy studded with black leaves and thorns, and decorated with crimson petals. Taki’s handiwork was apparent. It didn’t match Jake’s exactly, but it was clear what the inspiration for it had been. “I was already planning on getting flowers tattooed. You just… helped me decide which ones.”
“No, I love it. It’s cute,” Jake said.
“Cute?” Jay looked down at himself, and looked back up at Jake like he’d gone crazy.
Jake bit his lip to hold back another laugh. He shook his head, not sure how to explain it. Maybe he had gone a little bit crazy. But that’s what falling in love was all about. You couldn’t fault him for that.
“What are you going to say when people ask what it means?”
Jay’s devoted fans cataloged his every new tattoo. There was no way the newest addition would pass without comment, especially because it was right there, out in the open, prominently displayed. Jake might have been slowly getting used to being adjacent to Jay’s fame, but Jay knew how he preferred to stay out of the spotlight whenever possible.
Jay shrugged. There was a glint in his eye.
“Well, I’ll tell them I like pretty things. No one’s gonna question that.”