Archive of Our Own

This one is a doozy, folks. Would you believe that I edited this down and it’s still so long?

I’m not really sure where to start with this, but here goes: I work in an industry that is all about marketing, the appearance of things. Good marketing can make or break a thing. It’s all about telling the right story. After George Floyd’s murder in 2020, it was one of the industries that had a big reckoning about how it had continued to act in concert with white supremacy. I was hopeful that I could be a part of the future of change, that I could help foster and shepherd more authentic representation in the industry. The job I had was my “dream job” for just out of college. I had always wanted to work in this industry.

I know typically letters here use the generic “chocolate teapots” for industries, so I’ll go with that. Someone came up with a design for a “chocolate teapot” that had Chinese influence. Without getting too specific, it was a textbook case of cultural appropriation — the woman who made it was white, and the thing was chock full of racist stereotypes. It literally made me nauseated to look at it. I took my role at the company seriously even though I didn’t have a managing role and made my objections to the piece known.

For my effort, I was thanked with racist microaggressions (seriously, I hate that people think that all Asians are the same) and finally taken off the project because the white woman got her feelings hurt and made a huge stink over it. I watched from afar how the people still working on the project managed the story around her “chocolate teapot” to make it seem like the designer could be Asian herself, especially if a consumer didn’t look into it at all.

It was like I was watching someone do yellowface.

It didn’t help that I hated the person at the center of this on sight. Everything about her seemed to pile on my hatred. I think the online term for this is “bitch eating crackers” and honestly, it applies. Everything she does is awful. It’s clear she knows what she’s doing is wrong, and that’s why she reacted so outrageously to my suggestions. She’s defensive. She’s petty. She only wanted to work with the white people on the team. She was overly precious about her design. She would put on this fake humble act, only to drop it and get hostile if someone so much as suggested she switch the tiniest details or say that she didn’t have the background to understand her subject.

Even hearing her name makes my blood pressure spike.

I tried to move on and focus on the more positive aspects of my job, the things I could change. I even tried to design some of my own chocolate teapots — everyone in this industry is here because they want to get their own work out there. But suddenly, this fucking “chocolate teapot” was the most popular thing we’re selling all season. It was everywhere, the marketing team was pulling out all the stops to make sure if people follow “chocolate teapots” at all, they know about this one. I couldn’t avoid it, after spending so much time in the office avoiding it, it was out in public and people started asking me if I’ve seen this amazing new thing in my industry that seems “right up my alley” and if I’m going to pre-order it.

I was trying to remain professional, but one night after too many drinks, a friend asked if I knew anything about that fucking “chocolate teapot” that everyone has been talking about. I snapped, yelling that it was the most racist “teapot” to ever exist. On the subway ride home, I logged onto a consumer review website and gave the product one star, but didn’t write a review. I was just so mad that she was getting away with it.

It was a mistake. Little Miss Sensitive emailed my boss about it and I was shitcanned. I should have used a pseudonym, covered my tracks better. Or at least waited until release date so it wasn’t so prominent on the site. But I just felt so powerless, and it felt like such an injustice to watch this white lady get all this success off of something that clearly wasn’t hers to produce.

I’m not under the impression that this is the worst thing that has ever happened at a workplace. I get it. But for whatever reason, this really got under my skin. I couldn’t let it go. And I still can’t.

After moving to the opposite coast to be closer to family and getting a job at a much smaller “teapot” company (less prestigious and less compensation), things settled down somewhat. Yes, I still heard about the big “chocolate teapot,” but it finally started to seem like people online understood that the designer was a huge fraud. I started following people on Twitter and Instagram under an anonymous profile, reposting and commenting about what a racist trash fire the person is. I read every one star review and cackle as I read things like “Uninspired colonizer trash” by other people who get it.

The day that I found out there were rumors that the “teapot” was copied from a design by an actual Chinese American woman, I baked a cake to celebrate. Surely this would be the end of it! She would be canceled for sure. But no: somehow, this slippery fish has wriggled off the hook again and has a new teapot coming out. It makes me sick to think that I’m going to have to deal with the whole nightmare again.

At this point, my friends are sick of me going on and on about these “chocolate teapots” and how they’re a symbol for everything wrong in our industry. But they just don’t get it. I burn up inside just thinking about the injustice. They say I should just let it go, to focus on my own “teapots” and work on the things that are in my control.

But I can’t keep letting her get away with it. It’s wrong. It’s unjust. It’s all the things that we said we would fix in 2020 except it’s still happening. How do I convince everyone that this “teapot” designer is a fraud?

First off, I want to empathize with you. The situation is frustrating. Many people have been in your exact shoes.

Now for a reality check: you need to be honest with yourself. You say that the injustice of the thing is fueling you, but there are injustices every day of a far worse variety. That’s not to excuse what this “teapot” designer has done, it's just to put it into perspective. Why is it this particular instance that makes you want to sacrifice your career and mental well-being?

Having a professional nemesis can be inspiring, push us to do better, but sometimes it can be debilitating. You have already sacrificed one job to bring this issue to light, and it’s possible if you keep spending your time and energy on this, you’ll get nowhere with exposing the designer and find yourself without a job in the industry at all.

Beyond the negative impact this has had on your professional life, you should be aware of the impact this is having on your personal life. Your blood pressure spikes when you hear her name. You have social media accounts dedicated to this. Your friends are sick of hearing about it. You’re ecstatic when things go badly for her; her successes make you feel sick. What has this conflict gotten you but misery?

This situation is living in your head rent free — consider evicting it. Focus on your own career, your own successes, and the “teapots” you design. If you find it difficult to let go of this fixation, I’d suggest working with a therapist on how to better direct your energy. The negative energy you’re putting out about this is likely undermining your professional success.

Good luck!