Chapter Text
He doesn’t like orange juice. Pulps inside are disturbing and he thinks it doesn’t clearly have the aroma of the orange. It’s childish, actually. What kind of an adult drinks orange juice in the mornings?
Despite his anticipation towards it, two glasses of them are always on the table. Freshly squeezed and brought to the table while the pulps are still flowing. It’s a luxury.
Seokjin doesn’t even like looking at those little pulps due to his phobia.
For him, the adults should like coffee. It keeps him sane when all he wants to do is get lost in the comfort of his bed sheets and sleep for some more hours while his duty waits for him.
What’s his duty, actually? Why does he even care?
A noise literally tugs at his brain, eating him inside, reminding him what he is here for.
His duty is to be a good husband to Kim Taehyung.
The lover of the orange juice.
Seokjin’s husband of three years.
The thing is, Taehyung loves orange juice. Seokjin doesn’t know why –like most things that his husband loves- but it always brings a softer side of the said man. Seokjin thinks it must be related to something about his childhood, which Taehyung never talks about.
Again, they don’t talk at all.
But Seokjin is a man for coffees and coffees are for him. He knows Taehyung doesn’t even like the smell of them. Is this why he had started to drink it every morning, just to spite him? Seokjin doesn’t want to have a talk with his inner self. But the reason is obvious.
Just as he takes the hot cup of coffee in his hand and takes a sip, a maid approaches him. “Sir.” Her voice is soft, always. “Your friend is here.”
Friend.
“Jimin?” Seokjin smiles. “Please, let him in.”
It’s only eight am in the morning but Seokjin is wide awake and happy.
His husband is out of the city for two days, why would he not be happy? If Taehyung knew how happy Seokjin is when he is not in their shared house, he would never leave the house.
This game is for two, as always.
“Hello my little moon.” Jimin comes with bags in his hands, smiling at Seokjin who had been sitting with his legs crossed and in a soft, cozy sweater.
Seokjin’s smile is wider than his.
“I’m here to accompany you.”
“Welcome, Jiminie.” Seokjin doesn’t get up when Jimin can easily lean and smooch a kiss to his forehead. And he just does that –knowing Seokjin like forehead kisses.
“How is my moon doing?” he says as he sits across from him, bags between his hands already on the table. There is a delicious cinnamon smell emitting from the bags and Seokjin wants to wriggle on his seat with happiness he feels. Jimin bought some cinnamon rolls on his way.
But he is a twenty six years old man, he knows better.
“I’m good. Everything is amazing. You?”
Jimin takes the box inside the bag and directly opens it, biting the bun. “I’m good. But you are not that good.”
“I am!” Seokjin yells, his neat eyebrows furrowed. “Should there be a reason for me to not be good?”
“Well.” Jimin shrugs his shoulders. “Maybe your husband?”
Seokjin rolls his eyes. “Jimin, we talked about this. Lots of times. Let it go.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t.”
As a maid interrupts them to ask what he will drink, Jimin immediately says lemonade. It’s his favorite.
Seokjin can judge Taehyung for his choice of orange juice but he will never judge Jimin, despite lemons and oranges being the same for him. Jimin has this right to like things that shouldn’t be like because Jimin is Seokjin’s best friend.
Not only best friend.
His only friend.
When they are alone again, Jimin faces Seokjin, the older is busy with eating the cinnamon buns with almost moans escaping from his lips.
Seokjin looks beautiful –with white cream smeared around his lips and there are bread crumbs all over his face. He is an appetite person and Jimin always wonders how he got that thin body despite eating this much.
It sucks to drown the beautiful and happy smile on his face but Jimin has to do it or else no one will.
“People are starting to talk about it, Seokjin,” he says, “There are rumors.”
“Jimin…” Seokjin takes a deep breath, leaving the cinnamon bun on the table and chirping his hands. “I really don’t care who Taehyung is with. He can do whatever he wants. He had affairs before and he will have them in the future too. I think you are forgetting how our relationship works.”
“But hyung,” Jimin bites his lips, scrunching his face. “He does. I know. But what upsets me is that he lives his life in this marriage while you only sit at home the whole day and be his trophy wife!”
“Jimin.” Seokjin’s voice is sharp.
“He fucks around. And you allow it, okay, I got it. But so can you!”
Seokjin tries to laugh. “You used to be his friend and now you are giving me advice to go and have an affair behind his back?”
“I was his best friend. Until you stole me, duh.” Jimin rolls his eyes. It doesn’t take much seconds before he holds Seokjin’s hand that has a wedding ring on. The ring had been there for three years. Jimin never saw Seokjin take it off while he watched with a cold expression everytime Taehyung removed it like it’s drowning him. It’s true that Jimin was Taehyung’s best friend before becoming attached to Seokjin.
“My concern is not him dating people, hyung. I’m worried about you. You are wasting your youth just to sit at home and arrange his meetings. Or the events you should both participate in or take part in charity work under his name.”
“Well, planning charity works takes my whole day, actually. It’s really a hard job Jiminie, I’m doing it on my own.” Seokjin’s almond eyes grow bigger as he looks at his friend to convince him. “It’s a hard job, believe me.”
Jimin smiles in endearment. “I know it is. And Taehyung really should fucking bow to you for doing this works for free, as his husband.”
“Well, he does.” He adds, slowly, “Sometimes.”
“When was the last time you two had a talk?”
Seokjin thinks for a second. “Last week?”
When Jimin raises an eyebrow, Seokjin continues, “Yeah, last week. We talked during the dinner we had at my parent’s-”
“I’m not asking when you talk in front of people.” Jimin tilts his head, annoyed. “A real talk. About your relationships.”
“Well, we say goodnight to each other? If we can sleep at the same time… You know, Taehyung is busy so he comes home late and by the time he takes a shower, I’m already asleep so we don’t say goodnight that much. And you know he wakes up earlier than me, taking a shower and leaving for work so-”
“Hyung. Okay. Got it.” Jimin exhales. Deep and hard and annoyed. “You are really good at playing the fool.”
Seokjin knits his eyebrows, and puffs. “You are mean, Jiminie. Mean!”
But when they continue with their delicious breakfast, Seokjin takes the cup of coffee between his hands just to hide his face. He wants his face to be hidden because it’s the only time he could let his strong façade fall and he thinks.
He thinks about what Jimin said.
It’s true that he and Taehyung are in an arranged marriage, a contract keeping them together. But it’s also a truth that Taehyung gets to live the life he wants, totally acting like he is an unmarried man while Seokjin does his best to keep their marriage sacred; out of the public eye and away from people’s biting teeth and poisonous tongue.
In their three years old relationship, Taehyung had dated several people and had intercourse with many more, Seokjin knows this. And he doesn’t care.
But he sits on the breakfast table and takes a sip as his coffee, the black liquid hitting the back of his throat and burning –burning till he couldn’t feel the emptiness of his heart.
Why did the universe bring him into the tiger’s den and make him a real Kim while he could be anything else in the world?
Being married was hard. But being married to the one and only Kim Taehyung, the chaebol who had so many affairs in the past and known for his scandalous love life, was harder.
Especially when they were married due to their families’ wishes.
And especially, when Seokjin hadn’t had a relationship for his entire life.
Seokjin is a virgin.
Not because he is religious and “hides himself”. It’s just that life never brought any opportunities for him to not be one.
His family, the Wolf Kim’s, were strict parents, always keeping an eye on him and forcing him to stay innocent, never letting him go out with his friends after school, checking his phone and even changing his classes to their personal wishes when they were disturbed by the sheer thought of someone looking at Seokjin in the wrong way.
And just as he graduated from university to start his life, they brought an offer to the table.
That looked like an offer but it was a wolf hidden in sheep clothing. It was a demand.
To marry the Tiger Kim’s son, the known heartthrob and playboy of their society, Kim Taehyung.
Seokjin knew he couldn’t deny it. Afterall, all of his life, he was raised that this was going to be his destiny. Rather than marrying someone much older than him for some old money, Seokjin accepted the idea of getting married to Kim Taehyung, the man who is only four years older than him.
Before the wedding, Taehyung looked him in the eyes only once and told him that their marriage was never going to be something real.
And Seokjin told him that he would be so glad if it was going to be like that.
Three years into the marriage and everything that happened between them corrects these words.
They are married. Only on paper.
They are husbands. Only in front of society.
They sleep on the same bed. But never facing each other.
The sound of a door cracking wakes Seokjin up, the nightmares of his sweet nights are cut into half with the sounds of the other man lingering in the darkness of the room.
Seokjin’s hazy body turns towards the door, making a heap and shuffling in the king size bed they share. “You came, Taehyung-ssi?” he whispers.
“Yeah.” Taehyung takes off his jacket, ruffling his hair. The heap of the body is not clear to his eyes but he can sense Seokjin is looking at him under his sleepy eyes. “You can go back to sleep.”
“Alright,” Seokjin hums and lays his body on the bed again, hugging the white duvet tighter and closing his eyes.
Taehyung had been out of town for two days, for a business meeting set in Japan but it looks like he landed new.
It’s not a second later that Seokjin opens his eyes again.
“Oh, your friends…”
Taehyung is already out of his white shirt and grabbing a black one from their shared closet – “You said your friends wanted to pay a visit,” Seokjin tries to shake off the sleep from his voice, “This weekend is suitable. They may come. I will arrange the gathering and let you know the guest list.”
A muttered, “Okay,” is the only thing Taehyung says to him before heading to the bed and finding his space right next to him, his back is against Seokjin.
They never face each other.
But Seokjin smells it.
Smells the perfume on him. It’s flowery. Something that doesn’t belong to him.
Taehyung always wears a musty smoke smell –Seokjin knows what he smells like because he bought it for their second year anniversary where they celebrated with a big evening in a nice hall, so many people looking at them in awe and applauding their marriage.
Taehyung bought Seokjin a nice set of pearl earrings and Seokjin bought him an expensive perfume to show off in front of the guests. And then, when the guests wanted them to kiss, Taehyung only leaned in to kiss the corner of his mouth, his thin lips never engaging with the plushy ones, only a light smooch that ended in a second.
So Seokjin knows this perfume doesn’t belong to Taehyung.
Jimin’s words linger in his mind.
Taehyung is seeing someone again. Again and again and again–
Seokjin hazily opens his eyes, looking at their dark blinds, controlling himself.
Taehyung is already fast asleep. Even if he isn’t, at least he is silent. Slow, steady breathings are escaping from his lips.
Seokjin closes his eyes again.
It’s not his business what Taehyung does.
Yet he can’t help but feel giddy in their shared bed.
It’s their bed. It’s his bed more than Taehyung’s. He sleeps here all the time. Even when the other is not here.
And Taehyung is not here lots of times.
It’s his right.
But what can he do, when all the talk they do is to share each other a good night?
The gathering is sweet. Seokjin didn’t know half of these people before he got married.
But Taehyung has lots of older friends. Which he invites him to their home, happily. Seokjin is the one to arrange most gatherings but he doesn’t complain. He knew he was born into it. Taehyung’s friends are kind, though. Seokjin likes them. Likes when they talk about things he never even knew of or when they try to pull him into the conversation too, doing their best to engulf Seokjin into their friend circle and make him feel comfortable in their presence.
They are mostly in their mid-thirties, almost ten years older than them. Seokjin refers to them as hyungs, which they all dot on him. They say the way his lips curl when he says hyung is surprisingly cute. Seokjin did three sets of aegyo for them once and everyone laughed so much, saying he looked like an “idol”.
Except Taehyung.
He only sat at the big black chair, a whiskey in his hands, and watched the pretty boy in a crown doing aegyo with his dark eyes.
Seokjin knows Taehyung doesn’t like it when he interferes with his friends group. Nevertheless, he also knows if Seokjin were to disappear during these gatherings, they would be questioned. Afterall, they have been married for three years and they should be together at these social events, right?
So, what they do is to act.
Act in love, all bubbly when they are here.
Like right now.
Taehyung’s one hand is over Seokjin’s waist and Seokjin has to act like it doesn’t burn his skin. The truth is, it burns. Because Seokjin never felt those fingers on his skin, in an attempt to curve his skin and leave a print.
“You guys are extra sweet today,” One of the elders, Seojoon, smiles as he looks up to the couple.
Seokjin kindly smiles. “Thank you.”
“Oh, let the younger one’s enjoy their time,” the other one says, almost mocking but everyone in the room laughs along with him. “They were separated for two whole days!”
“Oh, I remember being away from my wife for two days used to feel like death. Now, when I go home, she doesn’t even look at my face! Not even a welcome! People change, huh?”
Everyone laughs again and so does Taehyung. “Yeah, glad we are not on that page, not for now.”
“Well, if you get older, I might act like that,” Seokjin comments with a fake laugh. “I’m so totally turning my back to you when we sleep.”
“I doubt it.” One of the elders says. His name is something Seokjin doesn’t remember –he isn’t always invited to these sweet home gatherings, but it looks like he heard the rumors and now, sitting in the living room of the young couple. “You are just so high , Seokjinnie.”
Seokjin blinks his eyes. “What does it mean, sir?” he asks, not understanding the older’s reddening cheeks. But his words have some type of hidden meaning behind them if it makes Sejoon, Taehyung’s most beloved hyung, take action.
“Oh, don’t go there-” Sejoon shakes his head as a no, reaching out to grab a soft cherry on the dinner table, eating it to just escape from the talk. “ Don’t. ”
But the older one continues anyway. “Well, you are young right now. And you have this glow on your face–”
Seokjin is not sure if he likes where this is going. He squirms in his seat, feeling Taehyung’s fingers as fire.
“Your sexual desire must be high. It’s clear from your face. You look like it.”
Seokjin tries to smile and brush it off, “S-sorry…” he mumbles, “I didn’t know I had that kind of face. Uh… I will try to control my face-”
“Are we done with how me and my husband fuck?” Taehyung says in a cold tone but he laughs a second later, trying to lighten the room as if it had been dropped in darkness. “I would like to keep our private in private, hyung.”
Taehyung’s fingers are hurting Seokjin’s waist now. His hold is hurting–
“Sorry. Sorry.” The man raises his hand as if he is showing he is defeated. “It was just an observation.”
“I told you not to speak about it.” One of them shakes his head again. His name is something like Sunghwan.
Taehyung tilts his head. “Not to speak about it? So you guys talk about it?”
Seokjin doesn’t know how uncomfortable it can get.
“Well, Taehyung, you are the one who always walks around with a hickey on your neck or claws on your body. You guys can’t just hide it, c’mon! Seokjin turns into a tomato everytime you touch him. And you really have so many hickeys.”
Seokjin’s whole body freezes. His smiling face falls, falls, falls.
He slowly raises his head to look at Taehyung and his neck, to see those hickeys apparently everyone talks about.
He sometimes did see them. But he didn’t see his husband just enough to acknowledge all those hickeys on his body enough to call it so many times.
Whoever Taehyung is screwing right now, it’s clear they want Seokjin to see it because their marriage had been official.
Seokjin blinks his eyes and gulps, crescent eyes falling. Why is there a big knot on his throat? It burns. Biting the inside of his lips, Seokjin does his best to smile and let the awkwardness die. “I’m gonna tell maids to refill your drinks, hyungs, just be right back.”
“You made him shy!” One of the friends yells at his friend.
Taehyung tries to smile but his one hand slowly rubs the hickey on his neck.
“You are so lucky to have a partner like Seokjin, Taehyung-ah.” Hyunsik says when they are alone in the garden, smoking their cigarettes under the sun and drinking whiskey between their seats. “He is amazing.”
Taehyung doesn’t even get how they think Seokjin is amazing when they only see him as much as he does. From Taehyung’s eyes, Seokjin is no one.
”Thank you.”
Nevertheless, he takes the compliment. “I’m glad to have him too, hyung.”
“He is just so beautiful. Like a bud of rose. Sweet and kind. There are not many people like him these days. Innocent beauty.”
“I got lucky,” Taehyung smokes the cigarette. “I had to fight with people to have him, you know.”
“I can tell. Seokjin is worth fighting for.”
Raising his eyebrows, Taehyung tries to smile. What’s the obsession with his friends? They had been talking about Seokjin a lot lately.
“Yeah. I know.”
“Have him close. There would be so many people trying to steal him.”
Taehyung cannot help but laugh. “Hyung, why are we even talking about it?”
“Because I know.” Hyunsik looks at him. “I know you cheated on him.”
Little secret is on his tongue, then?
Taehyung puffs. “Nonsense.”
“I hope it was a one time thing or else, believe me, there would be so many people to take Seokjin away from you.”
One time thing or not, who the fuck is anyone to care about what they had been going on about him and his husband?
“Those people can fuck off. Seokjin belongs to me.”
“Not for long if you keep cheating on him. He will learn and he will go do the same, got it?”
His hyung words create a wave on him, like a sudden wave hitting the shore. Unexpected. Taehyung never thought about Seokjin doing the same, because–
Because Seokjin had no friends.
It was known. Taehyung heard it from the maids. He had heard it from Jimin. From his parents-in-law. That Seokjin was all alone in the big world.
But an image as big as loneliness hit him. His dirty mind–
Seokjin, under someone, sweating and moaning as the other fucks into him. He would be so flushed red and he would cry so much because even with a touch he keeps squirming, if there was a thick cock opening him up, he would literally weep on the bed, calling and shouting the name.
A name.
Whose name would he moan?
“Taehyung?”
With a head popping out from the balcony window, Taehyung turns his dark gaze to Seokjin. He smiles. “Seojoon hyung was taking his leave. Can you come with me to bid him goodbye?” he kindly says, all cheerful. “Sorry to interrupt.”
Taehyung gets up from his seat and drinks the whole alcohol in one go.
“Think about what I said, Taehyung.” Hyunsik yells behind him. “Keep him close.”
“What was Hyung referring to when he said ‘keep him close’?”
“None of your business.”
It had been a rough day.
It will continue to be.
All the guests are gone when Seokjin closes the door to Wooshik, gifting him a basket of strawberries from his family’s farm. Wooshik literally patted his head when Seokjin handed him the basket and Taehyung stood near the door, hands in his pocket, looking annoyed.
Now, they are alone at the house. The maids are nothing but ghosts, only their footprints are heard inside the living room. It was a tiring day for Seokjin. He needs to drink a glass of wine before heading to bed because his head hurts. A lot.
“Okay.” He nods.
Taehyung is right –it’s not his business. But there is something that is his business.
“Oh, also, I need to talk to you about something. If you are free to have a little talk?”
“Go on.”
Seokjin gulps with the harsh tone of his husband, trying his best to stay calm as he talks about it. “I know you are in a relationship with someone.”
Taehyung doesn’t comment, looking at Seokjin under his dark ocean eyes, waiting for him to continue. It’s really hard to continue when he has this dark aura, doesn’t he know?
“And to be honest, I don’t care. You can…” Seokjin waves his hands in the air. “...sleep around however you want. But I’m asking one thing from you. Could you please… Tell them to not leave hickeys over you? Where it’s visible, at least. Because clearly, your friends and people at work think that it belongs to me and-”
“So what if they think like that?” Taehyung cracks his neck. “People think we fuck, so what?”
“Your friend literally implied I was– I was a sex freak .” Seokjin doesn’t even want to think about that act.“You know I have never done things like that. It’s disturbing. And to be honest, it’s very unkind of you to get in the same bed with me when you smell like sex. I don’t like it. I want you to take a shower when you come from outside and I want you to stop with those hickeys.”
Taehyung’s bored eyes are on him. “You are twenty six, Seokjin, you know people do have sex and they like to kiss and leave marks, you know?”
“I know.” Seokjin bites his bottom lip. “That’s why I’m asking you to be cautious. I don’t like it when people think I’m a sex freak when I have never…”
He stops.
Taehyung raises his eyebrows. “Continue.”
“No. Just forget it. I’m not coming home with hickeys all over my body and I respect you, Taehyung-ssi, I wait for you to show me the same respect I show you.”
“I will be careful.”
“Good.”
“Is that all?”
“Yeah.”
Seokjin turns around on his heels, ready to leave this disturbing conversation and long night behind. Only to be stopped by Taehyung’s cold voice.
“So let’s talk about how you act in front of my friends.”
“What do you mean?”
“How you sit, how you smile and flirt with them. How you do aegyo for them or how you talk with them in that weird voice –that one where you literally talk like a baby. And how you act like a literal slut -”
Seokjin’s whole body freezes with words pouring in the air, totally shocked as he looks at his so-called husband with craziness in his eyes.
“Oh my god. Oh my freaking God.” He wants to puke. “What are you even saying?”
Taehyung chuckles viciously. “They are heads over heels for you. And as far as I see, you like the attention very much.”
What the hell he is even implying, Seokjin can’t get the words. He is so angry he can’t even think clearly. He is gonna vomit.
“They are your friends!” His lips tremble with the anger shaking inside his bones. Someone set him on fire. His eyes are literal gardens of hell. “They are your friends who you keep insisting on meeting in our shared home and they are the ones who call me a sex freak and the one making me uncomfortable but I’m… I’m a slut, is that it, Taehyung-ssi?”
He wants to kill him!
How can he let this anger die?
Slowly tears peak around the corners of his almond eyes, waiting to be poured but he is not weak. Oh, no, he will not cry in front of this piece of shit of a husband and think he won this argument. “Please don’t come to our bed tonight.” He manages to whisper, in pure disgust. “Please sleep somewhere else.”
It’s not surprising that his already awful relationship with Taehyung gets worse from that day on. They don’t look at each other, Taehyung doesn’t even come home for a week but after two constructive days, his mother raises an eyebrow at him and Seokjin has no choice but to message Taehyung to ask him to come home.
It sucks but they are both adults who are very aware that this is their life now. Their families signed a deal off them and they need to be married to work in peace.
After Taehyung comes back from God knows where, Seokjin welcomes him with a sweet smile. “Love,” he mutters, “Our parents are here to talk with us.”
Taehyung looks at him unfazed for a second and then, to the dinner table located in a shiny, golden room –he can see his own mother. She waves her hand. There are some bubbling voices there too, so Taehyung gets it’s both sides of their families.
“I will use the washroom and be there as quickly as possible.” He leans to leave a soft kiss on Seokjin’s cheek to let her mom see it.
Their parents know they are not all lovey-dovey but they don’t know how bad they are, actually. How they don’t even say goodnight or good morning to each other. How they know nothing about each other.
How they are just strangers basically sharing the same house.
How Taehyung lasciviously sleeps around and how Seokjin stays silent about all of it.
When Taehyung is in the dinner room, he kisses his mother’s hair and welcomes his parents-in-law too. “It’s such a nice surprise,” he says as he sits at the head of the dinner, his husband sitting at the other end and for a moment, their eyes get locked.
“We wanted to see you guys. Talked between us to pay a visit.” His father-in-law says as he holds his precious son’s hand. “It had been a long time since I saw my Jinnie.”
Seokjin smiles and squeezes his father’s hand. “I’m happy, dad.”
Taehyung wants to laugh at their interaction. He had learnt from Jimin that Seokjin’s father used to beat him from time to time to stop him from interacting with people, just so he could control his son and let him be a ‘precious little flower’ that had never been broken.
Taehyung knows they only started to get along three years ago, when this fake marriage between them had started. It looked like after giving Seokjin away, his son was precious in his eyes.
“You look sick, Seokjin-ah.” Seokjin’s mother says, reaching out to his son and touching his face. “Is everything okay?”
Seokjin is a little surprised with the sudden question, irking for a second. There is no way they can know Seokjin hasn’t eaten anything since Taehyung left, right?
“Yeah, mom, everything alright.”
“Has our Taehyungie not been taking care of you well?” His mother jumps into the conversation, eyes furrowed with a subtle anger. “If not, tell me Seokjinnie, so I can pull his ear.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes. “He is alright, mom. Just a little tired, right, jagiya?”
Seokjin smiles. “Yeah, jagiya, I’m just tired.”
“Are you pregnant?”
With his mother’s question, Seokjin blurts the water in his mouth, already coughing and a maid running to get him a napkin, everyone at the table shocked for a second.
“W-well, no- no, I’m not, mom-”
“How are you so sure?” Taehyung’s mother asks. “Did you check?”
It doesn’t take a minute before Seokjin’s ears get red. “N-no.. But-”
“But we use protection, mom.” Taehyung saves Seokjin from this situation, at least he thinks he does. “He is not pregnant.”
“You can never know.” His father speaks. “Let’s check soon, got it?”
Then, he slowly continues. “That’s why we are here actually.”
They both look at Taehyung’s father with big eyes.
“It’s time for you to conceive so we can hold our grandchild before we die, shall we not? You guys have been married for three years. It’s more than enough for a honeymoon phase. It’s time to crown this marriage with a child, like you guys promised to.”
They stay silent for a while.
Taehyung speaks first. “I get you, father, but me and Seokjin are still young. We can wait for a little more, we are not going anywhere. And Seokjin is still pretty young.”
“At his age, I had a toddler and a newborn baby,” Seokjin’s mother smiles. “So, no, I don’t think my Seokjin is still that young.”
Taehyung runs his tongue on his cheek. He looks like a dark lord with his tanned skin and black hair and his black turtleneck. His cold expressions add more layers to it. “Well, we are not in the mentality to be parents yet.”
“Well, if you start from today, you can get into the mentality almost a year later.” Seokjin’s father raises his eyebrows. “It has been a long time since we celebrated your marriage and now, we want to celebrate our grandchild’s birth.”
Taehyung tilts his head as he sucks a breath, to argue, but before he opens his mouth, a silent voice rises from the table, soft and pliant yet sure.
“Taehyungie is right, father, mother.” Seokjin manages to say as he looks at the table, not being able to meet with anyone’s eyes, heart beating on his chest like a drum. “We are not ready to be parents yet.”
“Well, honey, no one is ready until they do,” his mother squeezes his hand. “You have been married for three years. And, when Taehyung is away for his work, your baby could accompany you. Seokjin, darling, I raised you, I know you would love to be a mama. It would suit you so much.”
Seokjin bites his bottom lip. “Mom…”
“We must speak like it’s a request,” Taehyung’s father smiles as he cuts his beef with a knife, voice calm. “But you guys are clever enough.” He looks at Taehyung as he eats the piece of meat, smiling. “Right, Taehyung-ah?”
Taehyung doesn’t say anything.
For the whole night, the talk is never on the table.
But it doesn’t mean it’s not on their mind.
Seokjin tries to let it go.
Tries his best.
He even opens the subject to Jimin, to get a clear opinion about all of it.
“What do you think about a baby to accompany me, Jimin?”
But all his friend does is to rub his back and say sorry again and again.
Seokjin is torn. He doesn’t know what to think, what to do, what to say. His parents are right about something: being pregnant came with the marriage contract and Seokjin knows if this is what the Tiger Kim’s and Wolf Kim’s want, both of them, it will happen. One way or another. Good or bad. Now or later. It will happen.
But Seokjin didn’t think it would be this early .
He didn’t think his relationship with Taehyung would be like this, either.
He at least thought they could be friends with him the first time he saw the older male. He really thought they could be besties.
It was a fever dream, Seokjin realizes, to assume Taehyung would be a friend to him when for all of his life, Seokjin didn’t even have a friend. Who would even want to be his friend, anyways?
But Seokjin hoped. To be friends who sleep on the same bed and grant each other good mornings or occasionally eat together in a beautiful restaurant, talk with each other and just… be kind to each other.
But Taehyung has been out of the house for a second constructive week and Seokjin doesn’t even see his face other than seeing him in the company, visiting him from time to time to let the people know they are still married and happily in love.
He brings some dishes to Taehyung and waits for fifteen minutes in the office, looking at his phone or reading a book as Taehyung eats in silence and after his phone alarm rings, Seokjin leaves without even saying a goodbye.
This is their relationship.
A child?
“No way,” he murmurs to himself as he is lying on his back on the bed, looking at the ceiling. The silence fills his ears because there is nothing alive in the house other than him. The maids sleep on the other wing of their big house and Taehyung is not here. Again. When did he even be here?
“No way I’m having sex with him to have a baby. No way.”
He says, surely.
“No way.”
“Sir, your husband is here.”
Seokjin raises his head from his book, looking at the young maid looking at him under her big doe eyes. “Do you want me to tell you are here?”
Seokjin gets up from his seat. “Where is he?”
“He is in the changing room.”
“Okay.” He smiles. “I’ll just go to him. Thank you for informing.”
Seokjin goes to the second floor, where they share a changing room together. He can hear the shuffling noises of the clothes before he could see Taehyung.
As he stands on the door of the changing room, Taehyung doesn’t even turn towards him. “You came,” Seokjin says.
“Yes.” Taehyung grabs a shirt from the drawers. “I’m going to Japan for another trip. I came to pack.”
Seokjin bites his lips. Taehyung usually sends his secretary to get clothes but this time, he is here –so all of it makes him think of other ideas. “Is it for work or for your personal interests?”
“Why does it matter?”
It’s true. Why does it matter?
“Taehyung…” The room gets heavy with Seokjin’s unclear tone. “Are you serious with the person you are seeing right now?”
Taehyung turns to him, looking a little unsure and raising an eyebrow. “What’s gotten into you? You wouldn’t question things like these.”
“I… Please, answer.”
“No, Seokjin. I’m going for a business trip.”
“Are you telling me the truth?”
His question makes Taehyung chuckle. “Why are you asking in the first place if you are not going to believe?”
Seokjin doesn’t speak for a second.
And when he does, it sounds almost funny.
“Taehyung!” He blurts out. “Fuck me.”
Air stiffens.
Taehyung’s actions.
He doesn’t turn around to look at him. A second passes, another one. Two, three, four. He acts as if he heard nothing when he slowly takes another shirt to fill his bag and as if he is done, when he turns around, he doesn’t even look at Seokjin, walking past him.
Seokjin blinks his eyes, already nervous and heart beating. “Did you not hear what I say?”
“No, I heard.”
Seokjin tries his best to catch up to the walking man, eyebrows knitted. “Are you not going to say something?”
“No.”
“Is it a no to my last question or my first?”
“No.”
“Taehyung-” He holds his bulky arms, but the minute his cold hands touch the tan skin, Taehyung pulls his arm immediately, like it burns him and gazes at Seokjin with his dark eyes.
“You know what I think?” he says, furious. All teeth and gritted. “I think you are either drunk or drugged. You don’t think clearly. And I’m not going to fuck you only for you to regret it the next morning.”
Seokjin’s eyes are already filled with shame and his mouth is unconsciously pout. Why does it feel like it’s a scolding? Like he is a child who knows nothing?
“So, no, I will not have sex with you. Ever. Got it?”
He turns his back again, leaving a worried Seokjin behind.
But oh, no, his hopes are still crumbling –Seokjin knows it’s not the end. It can not be. “One night. Just one night!”
His words make the other man stop.
“Just one night, Taehyung-ssi.” Seokjin bites his lips, trying his best to hide his emotions, but how could he when he was so defenseless in front of him?
His so-called husband.
“Let’s do what our families want us to do. Get me p-pregnant.” Words are foreign on his tongue, he can’t help but to stutter. “Just one night to make me conceive. And then, we can go back to the way we were before.”
Taehyung turns to face Seokjin’s teary eyes. Despite all the emotions he sees, all the shame and guilt in the eyes of the younger, there is nothing on Taehyung’s face. No emotion. As always. “What were we?” he asks coldly.
“Strangers.” Seokjin whispers. “Strangers who share a life together.”
It is almost a week later when Seokjin catches a glimpse of Taehyung’s face.
His husband had come from the office, a long, harsh path of a dealership that kept biting him behind. It is clear with the way he was literally fighting with his tie to make it loose, eyebrows knit as he enters the grand bathroom.
After that day, the day Seokjin asked him that favor, Seokjin knew Taehyung came late to sleep and woke up before Seokjin was awake.
But today, before he goes to the bathroom, his angry tiger-eyes turns to him for a second. Acknowledging his presence.
Seokjin gets up from the bed, finally being seen. “Taehyung-ssi.”
“Don’t.” Taehyung says as he marches towards the bathroom. “I’m not in the mood to listen to anything.”
“But you need to!” Seokjin yells behind him and just in a second, cuts Taehyung’s way through the bathroom door, standing between him and the door, looking at his husband’s sharpened eyes with his determined ones. “I need to talk with you. As husbands.”
Taehyung sighs. “Seokjin-ssi.”
Seokjin gulps. “I know you are tired. But it’s a serious matter.”
“Is it about what you said before?” Taehyung raises his eyebrows, his tone already is a mess, little hints of anger hiding behind the deep oceans. “Because if it’s about that, you know my answer.”
“And you know our parents’ answers! They want children. From us. You and me.” He continues, slowly, “Today, my mom and your eomma-nim came here to have a talk about how to get pregnant. Do you know how disturbing it was to listen to it from both of our moms? They are serious about it, Taehyung-ssi.”
Taehyung thinks for a second, licking his lips and trying to escape –but his husband is right through between him and the door and he can’t–he can’t grasp his head around his father, either. “My father called today,” he admits.
“What did he say?” Soft almond eyes grow bigger, a hidden surprise between them as he waits for an answer.
Taehyung bites back his tongue. “Similar.”
The truth is, his father threatened him to take him from his current position as a CEO and replace him with his cousin, Kim Namjoon, for at least five years if he doesn’t grant them a grand-children soon but Seokjin doesn’t need to know this. Taehyung would never give his cousin this type of chance and not to Seokjin either. He doesn’t even know who his husband is. What type of person Seokjin is.
All he knows about him is that Seokjin sleeps like a soft winter breeze because it’s the only time he had the chance to observe him. Unmoving most of the time and face soft; his lips are pout and eyebrows softly resting. And when he stirs in his sleep, he does it so delicately, Taehyung can almost say it’s a soft whimper, his chest slowly rising, breathing deep to turn around and softly clenches his fists, hands reaching out to hold something –anything and it’s mostly Taehyung.
Taehyung doesn’t remember how many times he had wake up from his sleep only to find his long asleep husband grabbing his arm or putting one hand around his chest, smiling in his fucking sleep (it’s creepy, it’s very creepy and not cute, Taehyung reminds himself all the time), or slowly rubbing his head to him and breathing Taehyung’s scent in. And sometimes, touching him over the clothes to feel some type of comfort… Taehyung observes him for some minutes before showing off his arm and turning around, leaving the other man to his loneliness as he faces his back to him.
And when Seokjin wakes, he pouts for almost ten minutes because he is forced to be awake.
This is all Taehyung knows about his husband.
To bed with him? To sleep?
Oh, to fuck him?
“So what are we gonna do?” Seokjin asks, “Please, tell me a way out because I don’t know.”
Taehyung blinks. “I don’t know either.”
“Oh.” Seokjin bites the inside of his lips and averts his eyes. “So…”
“Look, Seokjin, I need to take a shower, okay? I had a shitty day and I’m gonna need time to think about it. Can you tell the maids to prepare me dinner? I’ll be in my office after the shower. Now, excuse me.”
He passes through Seokjin and enters the bathroom, closing the door and locking it, and then, he breathes deeply.
It’s hours later when Seokjin raises his head from the book he is so into, only to find a stern and cold Taehyung looking at him.
“Here is what we are gonna do.”
Seokjin blinks with the rushed tone.
“We will do it,” Taehyung says, cracking his neck. “I’ll fuck you.”
The book on his hands falls with a soft thud.
Taehyung already waiting a response like this from the scared man in front of him –
“We will do it for once and only for one time. Think of it as a one night stand, okay? Because there won’t be anything emotional about it. I’ll be gentle with you and I promise to be kind to you after it, but don’t you expect more.” He breathes. “You pick the date and time, I’m available for everything.”
It’s a lot to process for Seokjin to handle and the shock shakes him like a poison entering his blood but he does his best to stay calm and not let his emotions be shown. “Is the person you are seeing now content with this?” he manages to ask.
“Don’t worry about her,” Taehyung says nonchalantly.
“But I do. I don’t wanna be a cheater…”
“It is not you who is a cheater anyways, why are so disturbed by it?”
“Taehyung-ssi… Please.”
Taehyung throws his head back and groans, Seokjin looking at his bobbing Adam’s apple, his neck thick and strong, just like his other parts. “I don’t have anyone in my life right now,” he says finally, looking at Seokjin’s surprised almond eyes. “We broke up a week ago.”
“Oh. That’s… Surprising.”
Taehyung chuckles, “Anyways. Message me the time when you wanna do it. I’ll be with my friends tonight, we are going out.”
“Taehyung-ssi!” Seokjin yells behind him. “There is… there is something I need to confess to you.”
Taehyung knits his eyebrows. “What?”
“I…” Seokjin gets up from his bed, clenching and unclenching his fists, too scared to confess. There is a disturbing look on his face as he squirms, weighing himself from one leg to another. “Taehyung-ssi, I–”
“I don’t have all night.”
Seokjin blushes. “I have never… I have never done that.” He confesses.
“Do what? Well, I haven’t been in a relationship like this too so I don’t have anything to tell you-”
“No. Not about this.” Gritting his teeth, Seokjin closes his eyes and deep breaths. Again. “I have never been intimate with men.”
Taehyung looks at him in surprise. “Oh. So you go for women? That’s… unexpected. I go for both so I don’t know what to tell you-”
“No. I don’t go for women, Taehyung-ssi. I meant that…” He breathes, biting his bottom lip and trying to find a way to express himself, but Taehyung is looking at him like he is some type of idiot, demanding a clear answer.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m virgin.”
Taehyung blinks. And like it’s not the worst possible scenario Seokjin can think, he laughs.
He laughs.
“Nice joke. Good one.”
“It’s not a joke!” Seokjin fusses, already embarrassed with tears filling the corner of his eyes. “I really am.”
Taehyung sighs with the way his husband gets serious, throwing him an annoyed look. “Look, Seokjin, no need to lie, okay? I don’t have a thing for virgins. It doesn’t matter to me how many man you fucked with or even woman. This is gonna be a one night thing to make you conceive, but if not, you know we have to try until you can. So, I don’t care if you are a little innocent virgin your family literally bragged about or not. Don’t sell me these lies–”
Tears.
Falls.
“This is not something to mock, Taehyung-ssi!” Seokjin’s voice gets icky with the way he cries softly. “I’m telling you the truth, I’m not selling anything. Believe it or not, I have never had sex before. And if my sex life being restricted through my whole life is a funny subject to you, you can laugh all you want but not in front of me, please! You might not get it but I’m an emotional person.”
“Oh, you’re angry? Imagine me, then, huh!” Taehyung shouts back, danger wrapped around his tongue. “Who would fucking believe a twenty six years old man being a virgin? You expect me to believe this little white lie of yours? I could handle you confessing me you had sex with handful of man rather than playing this little virgin role-”
The anger shakes Seokjin so much that without even thinking, it’s the first time he touches his husband when they are alone, no one accompanying them, only for it to be an angry push.
His hands are on Taehyung’s sturdy chest, pushing him with full force, pretty eyes seething anger inside them, teeth gritted. “Think of me as you want! But I showed decency towards you and confessed this! You are just an awful person, Kim Taehyung!”
“So do you, Kim Seokjin of the Tiger Clans.” Taehyung smirks as he grabs Seokjin’s both hands, small wrists delicate and tiny between his rough, veiny hands. “ Virgin? Yeah, you know what, okay, Little Mary, I’m gonna be very gentle with you. Very gentle.”
Seokjin’s breaths hitch with the harder imply. “Don’t be an asshole.”
“I’m not.” He laughs. “If me acting like I do believe you are a virgin is gonna make you happy, then let that be it.”
Seokjin looks at him with all the disgust stored in his eyes, because it doesn’t worth fighting. Not engaging more, not even lifting his hand to dry away the tears, Seokjin mutters. “Have a nice night with your friends.” His tone is wrapped around a poison. “Good night, Taehyung-ssi.”
Taehyung scoffs, eyes burning. “Good night, Little Mary.”