Archive of Our Own

“Have you always been so tall?” Kagome grumbled to herself, half dragging Sesshomaru’s long, heavy frame toward her hut.

‘Why do I live so far from the village again?’ She thought to herself, the distant sounds of the wedding fading more and more the closer they got to her door. ‘That’s why. The noise. But at what cost?’

“T-tall?” He slurred out, “who is tall?”

“YOU.” She huffed, repositioning him when he began to slump toward the ground.

“No nnnono, liddle miko,” he retorted, an odd amount of life in his usually stoic voice, “you are jusssmall.”

“Then will you help a small girl out and pick up your feet?!”

When he’d shown up for the ceremony earlier in the afternoon, she’d been absolutely gobsmacked by him.

The finery he’d chosen for the celebration was something that looked like it belonged in a fancy museum collection, not in the midst of a humble village.

But now all the extra layers, armor and heavy boots added so much weight to his already overwhelming size she wished he hadn’t bothered.

Even though it had meant so very much to Rin that she would honor her marriage to Kohaku so deeply.

She was sweating and panting for breath when she finally made it to her door, Sesshomaru’s feet scraping through the dirt as he tried- and failed- to take slow steps on his wobbly legs.

“How much did you even drink?” She asked under her breath, not expecting an answer.

“None,” he answered anyway, “thisssSessshmaroo… does not… prrtake.”

He rolled off her shoulder onto her floor with a loud thump that didn’t seem to phase him, and she stared at him mystified.

He wasn’t even close to her bedding, but she knew she’d never manage to get him up off the floor by herself.

“I didn’t take you for a liar, Lord Sesshomaru.” She said when she noticed his eyes leveled on her.

“Allow me some form of happy delusion.” He replied, sounding more sober and sad than he’d previously been.

‘I guess their system clears much faster… or maybe not.’

He sniffled, throwing one arm over his face and ripping out the golden combs that held half of his hair up on top of his head in a deceptively casual pile.

“Hey hey! Be careful with those, they’re beautiful!”

“What good is beauty? It’s so easily bought.” He growled, throwing the combs across the small room of her but, and they embedded in her walls with a deep thunk that made her gasp.

She would not be able to retrieve them on her own strength.

“Not all beauty can be bought,” she tried to soothe, smoothing a lock of silver silk out of his face.

It was a liberty she knew he wouldn’t mind; they’d grown close enough in their friendship that he allowed her the occasional casual touch.

She usually needed to build up a lot of nerve first, but the sake he brought for the demons amongst them to enjoy had softened a lot of the prickly facade he usually wore.

He seemed to really need a friend.

“Anything truly worth having has no price. And its beauty cannot be beheld with eyesight alone.”

“That’s true,” she said, releasing the ties holding the heavy, ceremonial armor he’d worn, and he lifted himself from the floor to help her lift it over his head, MokoMoko falling around him like a comforting cloud. “But why should such a thing make you sad? You’ve got lots of time to find those worthy things.”

His eyes closed again and he fell back to the floor, MokoMoko saving his head from a potentially nasty bruise.

“That is just the issue, Kagome,” he said, using just her name for the first time, sending her heart into a heady tailspin.

She was thankful he was so drunk; if he could smell the way her scent changed with his words, he probably wouldn’t remember it in the morning. “Don’t you see? There is no time. Humans… humans age so quickly. A decade in a blink… and then another. And another. And then they are gone.”

“Oh I see.” She quickly stood and padded over to her bedding, lifting the sheet and pulling it over to cover Sesshomaru’s prone form.

He and Rin had never been overly vocal about their relationship, but anyone with half a functioning brain could see how they cared for one another.

He’d watched her grow from a tiny child dependent on him for everything to a beautiful young woman ready to start her life with the man she loved.

It was hard to watch your children grow, and even if he could never say that out loud, Kagome had learned to read Sesshomaru better than he probably imagined.

“There there,” she whispered, tucking the blanket in around his shoulders. “It’s alright. You’ll see. Maybe you could hang around the village more often. Time won’t seem to jump around quite so fast if you-“

“There is just no time. No time for anything. You humans, you go and change too quickly.”

“Let me get you some water,”

“No!” He cried, grabbing her by the wrist and rising from the bedding, wrapping her in his arms, pressing her against his chest.

She was once again made acutely aware of how large he was, and his heart beat hard and fast in her ear.

“Do not go,” he said raggedly, his embrace tightening. “Do not go.”

He was whispering now, his voice breaking apart and his breath coming in staccato pants.

“Sesshomaru…” she whispered, her own heart twisting painfully as the love she’d she’d stuffed down into it beat against the walls of her soul to finally be let free. “Sesshomaru I’m only going a couple of steps away and then coming right back, I promise.”

“No.”

She managed to peek up at him, and she gasped to see tears gathering along his eyelashes.

His carefully constructed facade was cracking and splintering in the middle of her humble home, this great, terrible, unbeatable power breaking apart around her, and she was so stunned at his vulnerability she didn’t know what to do.

“Sesshomaru… is it really so sad to see Rin grow up? I know it’s bittersweet, but… but she’s become a lovely young woman. You should be so proud.”

“I am too proud. And it will cost me everything. There is no time to fix it.”

“No time for what Sesshomaru? Because from what I see, she already loves you so much.”

He pulled back and stared down into her eyes, the rich, molten gold of his haunted gaze trapping her like pray, and then one of his hands gently cradled her face, his thumb stroking gently across the soft swell of her cheek.

“Does she?” He asked, and she got the distinct impression they were no longer discussing Rin growing up, but she couldn’t be sure.

Her lashes fluttered and she gulped down a storm of nerves growing in her throat, nodding carefully in answer to his entirely too vague question.

His lids slid closed and he fell backwards again onto the bedding, pulling her with him.

Within seconds he was asleep, shocking her with deep, bone rattling snores and drool oozing from his open jaw.

“Oh my gosh…” she whispered, managing to extract herself from his arms, staring at him in bewilderment. His long form took up most of her floor, especially with his legs splayed out and one arm extending far off to the side. His hair and MokoMoko fanned out, taking up whatever was left of what little space she had, and she resigned herself to a cramped and uncomfortable night.

She ventured out toward the village at twilight, giving up on getting any kind of sleep and in need of urgent advice.

The village still slept though some early risers were starting their fires as thin tendrils of smoke rose from chimneys and a few tired people milled about starting chores, and the morning air was cold and damp with morning dew. She pulled her wrap more tightly around her shoulders, nodding absently at anyone she passed, searching out the yoki signatures of Koga and Inuyasha, hoping they hadn’t left back to the wolf caves yet.

At last she found them, latching onto their signatures and heading in their direction.

They’d camped out near the Goshinboku, still Inuyasha’s favorite place, and she picked up her pace.

“Inuyasha, Koga,” she called out quietly, and Koga stood from where he reclined in the tree’s great roots while Inuyasha dropped from its branches.

“Sup Gome?” He asked, and she took in a deep breath, twisted the hem of her wrap, and wondered where to start.

“How does a demon recover from a hangover?”

“A demon shouldn’t get a hangover.” He answered, one brow lifting in confusion, and Koga scratched the back of his head.

“You mean neither of you have ever drank yourselves sick?”

“Course we have!” Koga cut in, “or at least we wolves have. But even when we drink till we pass out, we wake up fine.”

“Yeah, yokai systems clear out really fast. Why? You ain’t nursing any strange demons in your house are you?”

His shoulders tended up, and Koga stood up straighter, more alert. Even though the feelings between all of them had changed so much, neither of them had ever grown any less protective of her.

“Not so fast!” She shouted, holding out one hand to halt them before they could dash to her hut and cause a scene. “It’s just your brother.”

“So you are nursing strange demons,” Koga quipped, and Inu snorted in amusement.

“It wasn’t strange, Koga. It was sad. Rin is growing fast and he’s realizing how limited a human life is compared to his own. He’s grieving, that’s all. I just wanted to know if there was anything I could do to make him more comfortable when he wakes up.”

“Yeah I’ll bet he’s grieving alright. Grieved his way right into your bed.”

“Oh stop it Inu, it’s not like that. Whatever, I don’t know why I thought you two would be any help.”

“We’re leaving after we have lunch with Sango and Miroku, come say bye!” He said as she turned back toward home, and she waved absently as she hurried along.

‘He’s wrong. I’m just taking care of a friend. Sesshomaru’s not the type to try and trick someone into bed with him.’ She thought to herself, annoyed with how suspicious Inuyasha and Koga were with any eligible male she interacted with.

‘They have a lot of nerve. All that back and forth just for them to end up together. And they STILL think they can have a say about who *I* hang around with, not that Sesshomaru wants to hang around me like THAT. As if he’d use his grief to sneak into my pants, that’s not his style at all, even if he WAS interested.’

She’d worked herself up into a hot little snit by the time she made it back, grumbling under her breath for almost the whole way back.

“And if he was interested, he wouldn’t have to trick me!” She declared in what she thought was a whisper as she pulled back the matting in her door and stomped inside, but then her eyes went round and her face went white when she saw Sesshomaru sitting at her little table, most of his clothing save for the innermost layer deposited into a pile in one of the corners of her home.

“Who is tricking you? Is there a Kitsune nearby?” He asked, rubbing a hand over his forehead.

“No!!! No no, uh… nothing. It was nothing. Are you feeling better?”

“Define better.”

“Oh you know,” she began, keeping herself busy by filling her kettle and setting on the fire the, which she fed with a couple of fresh pieces of wood. “You were really shaken up last night. I’m sure you don’t feel great physically after all you had to drink, but how is your heart today?”

“It is my head I am most concerned with,” he said, his voice deep and gravely with lack of sleep and whatever pain throbbed behind his eyes.

“Sounds like a hangover. Are you hungry? It could help the pain.”

“I’ve survived worse.”

“I’m sure.”

They lapsed into silence, and Kagome noticed that Sesshomaru never truly answered her question.

“I have a little brother.”

“Hn?”

“Yes, I’m an eldest, just like you.”

She knelt across from him as she waited for the tea water to boil, and she noticed the skin under his eyes was dark and heavy.

She’d never seen him look anything less than utterly perfect, and something about his state of disarray felt… like an act of trust that made her heart race.

“He got sick once, when he was very little. My country’s healers… they didn’t… they weren’t sure…”

Steam hissed as water bubbled over in her kettle, and she rushed over to pour two cups of hot tea.

“Anyway, my mother was a mess, even after the doctors told us he would pull through, she just sat and stared at him like he would disappear if she so much as blinked.”

When she sat down his tea, he picked it up and sipped it down gratefully, sighing in relief as the hot liquid soothed his parched throat. “I asked her why she wasn’t happy that he would be well, and she just said it had been too close. She’d realized how fragile he was. She said, it’s a parent’s worst nightmare to outlive their children. It’s unnatural. When parents say goodbye to their children, it’s supposed to be when they die. Anyway, I know the closest thing I have to a child is Shippo, similar to you and Rin. But Shippo… is yokai. He’s not fragile. He’s young. He’s going to be young for a very, very long time. But… I couldn’t imagine saying goodbye to him and carrying on with my life. So, I just want you to know… I understand why you were so heartbroken last night.”

Summoning her courage. She reached across the table to take his hand.

No matter what kind of truce they’d drawn, or how casually they’d managed to treat each other in the years since Naraku’s defeat, she’d never ever taken this type of liberty.

Even when she’d so desperately wanted to.

His eyes widened in shock and he froze, and for a moment she feared he would flee, or perhaps even retaliate, but instead, he slowly laid his other hand on top of hers, and he stared down hard where they were clasped together, his eyes swimming with something he didn’t know how to say.

“You… have always been generous.” He managed to say, and her brow furrowed in confusion.

“Huh?”

“Your interpretation of the previous night’s events paints me in a much… more flattering light than I deserve.”

“I don’t get it…”

“I’m afraid I must take my leave now.”

“Are you sure? But… your head…”

“I heal quickly.”

“Your clothes?”

“Sell them.”

“Wha-“

And he was gone.

Sesshomaru stared at himself in his mirror and didn’t know how to feel.

His perfectly blank expression belied a nasty storm of things ranging from humiliation, disbelief, utter relief and a large dose of self pity.

He just plain old felt sorry for himself.

With a dusty sigh he picked up his comb and pulled it through the long, silken lengths of his hair, pushing away the ever lingering fantasy of Kagome’s fingers taking the place of the delicately carved comb teeth.

It would never happen now.

Blessedly, he hadn’t revealed anything too damning in his drunken stupor, but he had made a complete fool of himself and no doubt destroyed whatever fragile esteem he’d managed to earn from her.

If he’d ever had a chance of having her return his feelings, he’d squashed that chance like a bug under his boot.

It was a crushing reality, but in a way, it took the weight off.

Visiting Rin these last years after realizing his heart had given itself to the weird little Miko had become increasingly difficult. Her scent, her smile, the sound of her voice haunted him every second she was there, especially as her kindness and need to dote and fuss meant they had forged a type of friendship he’d never had before.

He longed to be near her, to talk with her, share things with her, touch her in ways that would leave his scent scattered delicately over her person…

He’d been warned by his father once long ago that a person would come along who would inspire him to act in such foolish ways but he’d been young enough to scoff at such an idea.

And now there he was, pining.

After a human.

But it was no matter now, as he’d well and truly humiliated himself, and there was no way she’d see him with anything but pitty or disdain or perhaps both now.

He stood from his vanity and finished dressing, donning his usual silks and armor and then leaving his estate without a word.

He pointed his boots toward the little village beyond the horizon, the one that held various pieces of his heart, and then lifted into the air.

It had been far too long since he’d made this journey.

Weeks? Months?

He wasn’t sure; counting time in such small segments was something humans did and it was something he’d had a hard time learning to do.

Rin had sent him several letters requesting his presence but his mood had been so foul he hasn’t dared answer them. But the ick inside him had finally bubbled down to a very dull self disgust he would have no trouble keeping contained, and so he finally made his way back.

When he touched down, he was surprised to see Kagome waiting to greet him, a look of worry and agitation marring her pretty features.

“Sesshomaru!!!” She shouted, ditching her usual formality, anger sparking around her and making her cheeks glow a fetching shade of rose. “Where on earth have you been?!”

“Busy.”

“For a year?!”

He blinked.

It hadn’t been that long, had it?

“I…”

“Just get in here!”

She gripped his sleeve and pulled him toward her hut- how had he landed so near her home and not noticed?- pushing him inside and forcing him down at her table.

“Honestly Sesshomaru, after our last discussion I thought you’d be around more, not disappear without a word!! We’ve all been so worried and Rin has been beside herself. You couldn’t at least answer her letters? I even sent a few to see what was going on!”

“You wrote to me?” He asked, bewildered. No one had informed him that all the letters from this village hadn’t been from Rin.

“That doesn’t matter now, I need to tell you something very urgent. Rin is…. She’s going to look very different. She wanted to be able to tell you herself but you’ve been gone and now it’s too late. She’s pregnant. very pregnant. She’s due any day now. When you see her, you must be happy for her, do you understand? And you must grovel for her forgiveness. She’s very hurt.”

His head swam with all the information being thrust at him, all the things he’d missed in his absence.

Human life truly did pass at such an alarming pace. One mere year away and Rin had gone from one person to nearly two.

“And Sesshomaru…” Kagome drew his attention again, so he gulped and met her eyes. “If you think grown humans age quickly, you had better be prepared to experience how quickly infant humans change. That child is going to look different day by day. Stay close. Rin wants you in her baby’s life. Now go. She’s waited long enough.”

In a past life, one he’d shed not so very long ago by yokai standards, being so bossed around, especially by a human, would have sent him into a rage.

But now, all he could do was stand and stumble out of her humble abode and head toward the place he knew Kohaku had built the hut he and Rin would live in.

He hadn’t even made it to the door when the the boy- man, he was a man now- poked his head from the door and with wide eyes, slipped back inside.

He stopped to watch Rin waddle out, her stomach large and round, one hand resting atop its swell with the other held her lower back.

He was frozen as he took her in, a woman completely void of any of the small child who’d looked at him with such awe and devotion stood and glared at him, and even from the distance between them he could see her tears.

He zipped the rest of the way to the hut and gently ushered her inside, nose twitching like mad as he tried to make sense of her new scent and rationalize it with the one in his memory.

She smacked his hands away and though she would never have the strength to truly hurt him, his entire arm stung with rejection.

“Should I stay?” He heard Kohaku ask as he took a seat and looked around, realizing he’d never actually been inside their hut before. Rin had always chattered excitedly about hosting him for tea, and he realized just how much he had to make up for.

“No Kohaku. I can yell at him just fine by myself. Go find something to do.”

“Alright dear, I’ll be…. Around.”

The tension in the room thickened and made Sesshomaru’s arm hair stand on end. He felt like prey for the first time in his life.

“You look-“

“Pregnant? Yes. So happy you finally got to hear the good news.”

He gulped, his attempts to delicately broach the subject torn to shreds by her proverbial claws. He’d she learned that from him?

“Rin, I-“

“Where have you been? I know your entire life has never revolved around me and I’ve waited as long as 2 or 3 months between visits before but a whole year Sesshomaru-sama? A whole year?!”

The return of such formality from her hurt more than her previous rejection of his assistance, and unsure what to do, he lowered his gaze to the table top.

Her scent roiled angrily, laced with hurt and frustration and agitation, and he could smell the beginnings of tears. He looked up at her again just as they fell down her cheeks.

Once flushed with the wonders of childhood, now they flushed with anger at him.

“Was that all I was to you after all? An obligation? You’d passed me on to some other man so you didn’t have to show your face anymore?”

“Certainly not!” He snapped out, finally finding his voice, choosing to center his outrage at such an absurd claim as anything resembling anger was easier for him to function in than guilt and sadness. “How could you say such a thing? If that were so, I would have left you behind when I entrusted you to the elder miko.”

“Well what else am I supposed to think? What else could it have been? Did I do something wrong?”

“NO. No. It had… nothing to do with you at all. Truly.”

“Then why? You didn’t even write me back… did you miss me at all?”

“I think of and hope for your well being anytime I am away, Rin. I simply… I…”

“What? I know open communication isn’t your favorite thing, but after everything I think I’m owed some kind of explanation.”

He sighed.

She was right, of course. Being open was not something he was good at, though it wasn’t as impossible as it had been when he’d first found her, and he did owe her something for the hurt he’d caused.

“I drank too much at your celebration, and made a fool of myself.”

“What? But… I don’t even remember seeing much of you. Nobody did. I asked everyone if they thought something happened to drive you away.”

“I did not make an… open fool of myself. The miko…”

“Kaede?”

“Kagome.”

“OH.”

“Hn.”

Silence lapsed, the heavy humiliation he’d managed to push away into a dusty corner of his mind oozing back out onto his shoulders, filling up the space with more tension, reminding him that he was not, in fact, as perfect as he’d been born and raised to be, that he was full of flaws that everyone could see, that all his efforts to live up to his name and family heritage had been brought down by one night of overindulgence to calm his own heart sickness.

He was teetering on the edge of deciding to flee again and remain gone when Rin laughed.

“Oh goodness. Now I get it. You said something embarrassing to Kagome-Sama and feel like she won’t like you now, is that it?”

He stared blankly at her, ignoring the burning in his cheeks, and didn’t know what to say.

“You can’t sit there and be surprised I noticed, can you? I learned to read you better than anyone. I’ve known for a long time how you feel about her. Tell you what, I’ll forgive you for all of this nonsense under one condition.”

“What?”

“You must tell her. Soon. Or else.”

“Rin! You’re glowing today as usual!” Kagome chirped, kneeling next to a scowling, obviously uncomfortable Rin as she attempted to sit up from her bedding.

“Yeah. I’m sure. Please tell me this is going to be over soon.” She whined, and Kagome chuckled, patting her hand and handing her a mix of tea leaves she could brew to help with discomfort.

“Should be any time now.”

“You’ve been saying that for days!! It’s either any time now or it’s not. Which is it?!”

“Rin, the miko is only trying to help.” She heard Sesshomaru say, and when Rin cut him a nasty, soul scorching look, she knew she needed to intervene.

“It’s alright. This end stage is always very uncomfortable. Unfortunately There’s no way to know for sure when the baby will come. Unless… have you had any contractions?”

“No. Nothing. And that’s the problem!”

“Just be patient. If you can, try going on a little walk here and there. Sometimes that can speed things along! I’m sure Kohaku wouldn’t mind letting you lean on him.”

“Uuuuuugggghhh fine. If I have to.”

“The weather is lovely today, I think you’d enjoy it! Otherwise just rest and get plenty of fluids. I’ll be back to check on you tomorrow if you don’t need me sooner.”

Leaving the hut, Kagome breathed a sigh of relief.

Sesshomaru’s presence filled up every space he was in, his energy so big and undeniable and his body so long and broad.

‘Seriously, was he ALWAYS that tall?!’ She thought to herself, pressing her hand to her heart, taking a deep breath, and releasing it.

“Is everything alright miko?” She heard him ask, and she spun around with a shriek to see him standing there right behind her.

“Goodness!!! You should make a little noise when you approach someone!!”

“And you should have your senses tuned outward, always. You should never miss yoki as strong as mine.”

She blushed and looked away, bending over to retrieve her basket and the packets of teas and bandages she’d brought along.

He was right, he should never be able to sneak up on her.

“Did you have any concerns about Rin?” She asked as she busied herself.

“No. I only intended to inquire about you.”

“Oh uh… that’s… very kind of you Sesshomaru.”

She looked up into his impassive face, hoping for a flit or flicker of something to reveal what he was thinking, but he was being careful.

“Hn.”

“Well, I… must be going. I have to make some rounds and check on some ailing villagers. Please keep a sharp nose on Rin’s condition and come get me at once if you smell anything alarming, alright?”

“Alright.”

“And Sesshomaru?”

He cocked his head to the side, his eyes widening just slightly, the tense line of his mouth softening, opening himself to hear whatever it was she had to say.

She bit her lip to fight off a grin; he looked just like a curious dog.

“I’m glad you’ve stuck around this last week. Rin is happier than I’ve seen her in a long time.”

He cocked a brow and looked over his shoulder at the hut Rin and Kohaku shared, then he turned back around with a ghost of a grin that nearly knocked her to the ground.

“If this is happier than usual, then I really must apologize for the terror she must have been.”

It took a moment for it to sink in that Sesshomaru had just told her a joke, but when it did she burst out laughing, and he looked… proud.

“Oh stop it. You know what I mean. Really though, I know it means a lot to her. Anyway, I’ll see you later!”

She walked away in a daze, feeling light and fluttery like a schoolgirl with a crush.

Harboring feelings for Sesshomaru was not at all like any other romantic hope she’d ever held. Interactions with him were slim and he gave precious little away as to what he thought or felt for himself.

She’d learned little ways to read him over the years, and they’d forged a sort of friendship that had come to mean so much, but the deep way he nestled in her heart with his quiet strength and his unflinching loyalty had surprised her.

But this, joke telling and making her laugh… this was new territory she didn’t think existed.

‘Would he laugh if I told HIM a joke?’

But the idea was so preposterous she couldn’t follow it for long.

‘Oh well, I don’t need to be distracted when I’m seeing to my patients anyway.’

She stepped up to an old, well worn hut.

“Good evening Jiro-San! How’s that old ankle today?”

With a gasp, Kagome woke, cold sweat pricking her skin and glowing gold eyes staring down at her.

Without thought, she sent out a small burst of reiki that bloomed from her chest, and the eyes disappeared as the body they belonged to reared back to avoid being singed.

“Miko, you must wake. Rin has started her labors.”

“OH MY GOSH I almost purified you! Why on earth would you wake me up like that?!”

He scoffed, shaking out a length of fabric she used as a shoulder wrap and retrieving her sandals.

“You are strong, but you could never purify me.”

“I could leave a nasty burn mark on that pretty face, though.”

“You think of my face as pretty?”

She almost threw back another snarky remark, as if she was bantering with Inuyasha or Koga, or maybe even Miroku, but there was a sincerity in his tone, a vulnerability, that’s startled her.

She froze for a moment, staring at him awash in the moonlight filtering in through her window.

“Well… of course.” ‘You’re a yokai, aren’t you?’ Was on the tip of her tongue, an easy way to distance herself from what was dangerously close to a personal declaration, but something stopped her.

Something in his eyes.

He looked down at her floor for a moment, his brow furrowing, and she thought he might say something back.

But then he looked out her window in alarm.

“We must go.”

In a blink he had her in his arms, racing across the ground, chilled night hair biting at her skin and whipping through her hair, and just as quickly he was depositing her at Rin’s side.

“Rin honey, is everything alright?”

“Yes. I told him he didn’t need to get you yet! I only just started feeling… something.”

“That’s okay. Sesshomaru, go get Sango for me. We can help you bathe and get something to eat before the big show starts!”

“That sounds lovely actually!”

Sesshomaru sat just outside, watching Kohaku run back and forth as they sent him to fetch this and that, listening as Rin evolved from chattering excitedly, to talking through winces and brief pauses, to breathing deeply and grunting, and then finally crying out through waves of deepening pain.

He was completely and utterly useless, not even able to offer Kohaku more than a silent, steady presence as they both wiled away the hours waiting for the new life to make its way into the world.

The sun made its way up, chased the moon from the sky, put itself back to bed, and let the world be once again lit by moonlight before they heard that first, shrill little cry.

Kohaku lept to his feet, swaying precariously as all the blood rushed from his face.

Sesshomaru stepped up behind him just in case he collapsed, and together they watched the doorway for Sango or Kagome to emerge and tell him he could come inside.

A small eternity passed again, and Sesshomaru could hear voices murmuring, quiet sniffles, splashing water, and then finally and frazzled Kagome peeked out.

“You can come in now papa. Come meet your son.”

Kohaku swayed again, starry eyed and pale, but after a soft nudge from Sesshomaru, he uprooted his feet and dashed inside.

Heaving a sigh, Sesshomaru finally turned away from the hut and considered going on into the forest to run or hunt or just stretch after so many hours waiting in one spot, but then Kagome shuffled back out.

“He’s beautiful! You’d be so proud.” He heard her say.

“How is she?”

“Tired. But she did just fine. They’re gonna be just fine after some rest. I told her she could have visitors tomorrow.”

He nodded.

He knew the occasion was momentous, that his reactions were less than stellar and probably read as uncaring.

But in times of great upheaval, it was easy to fall back on old training and keep his thoughts locked tightly away inside.

“Will you leave after?”

“Leave?”

“Back home. Wherever it is you live.”

“I…. Do not know.”

“Oh? Well, can I at least offer you some tea?”

“You should find your bed miko.”

“Oh no, I wouldn’t be able to sleep right now. Adrenaline is too high. And I have to come back at the crack of dawn and make sure everything is still alright.”

She paused, hovered, weighed something in her mind, and then struck.

“Walk me home?”

The question felt significant, the smell of nerves and anxiety sparkling on the edges of her aura as her cheeks darkened slightly.

He glanced up to check the moon.

There were still several hours to sunrise, and she’d said she needed to be awake.

“Hn.”

They walked side by side, the rest of the world silent and asleep as a cool night breeze brushed through their clothing and helped loosen tense muscles.

They didn’t speak, a comfortable silence that settled between them feeling soft and right, and she smiled sweetly when he held the cover of her door back for her.

“Sometimes I forget just how long it can take for first babies to come.”

“Subsequent babies do not need so much coaxing?”

“No. It’s like the body remembers and gears up faster and faster each time. And you don’t have to wait so long to see that sweet little face. This tea is going to take a little while, this fire is completely burnt out.”

“It is no worry.”

Silence again as she arranged some fresh firewood and struck a flame, setting her kettle to boil.

“Are you hungry?”

“No.”

She sat across from him with two steaming cups when the tea was finally done, and she lit a candle on her table.

In the flickering flame the dark, sleepless circles under her eyes were cast in stark relief, and the skin at the corners crinkled just so.

She looked… older.

He was once again struck by how quickly humans aged on their own, by how little time one had with them, how very soon all these humans he’d made acquaintance with would be dust in the ground.

He’d hoped once to save at least this one from that fate, to win her heart, if only he’d had time.

Rin’s urgings from the previous week crawled up from the back of his tired mind, along with all the additional little comments and “encouragements” she’d been whispering in his ears.

“Is there a reason you’ve kept yourself from marriage and children of you own, Kagome? Or have you chosen to follow the footsteps of the elder miko?”

She gasped, her eyes widening and mouth falling open until she clicked it shut.

“I… I’m surprised you… care about such a thing.”

“Why?”

“Well… I don’t know.”

“Are we not friends? You’ve called me such before.”

“Well yeah but… I don’t know I just didn’t think you liked talking about this stuff.”

“I don’t know how. I was not trained to be a friend.”

“Oh…” she smelled sad now, almost like pitty, but the look in her eyes did not make him feel pititful.

“Well?”

“I don’t know. I guess… I had dreams like anyone else. But there’s not anyone in this village who could make them come true. So, I’m just… alone.”

“Alone. You are lonely?”

“I know I shouldn’t be. I’ve got Sango and Miroku, Shippo, Rin and Kohaku. Inuyasha and Koga come visit all the time. I have all this wonderful family I love so much but…”

“But it is not the same as a mate and den of your own, not when that is what your heart craves.”

“Yes. Exactly.”

The air in the hut shifted, and he heard Rin’s voice again.

‘Wouldn’t you rather take a chance and no for sure she’s not interested? Or will you let her entire lifetime lapse never truly knowing?’

He opened his mouth to speak, but she got there first.

“What about you? Are you secretly married with a gaggle of kids? Is that what kept you away for so long?”

Her tone was teasing and light, but the glimmer of humor in her eyes was clearly forced.

She was hunting for something, disguising her true intentions like one might disguise their scent or appearance to creep up on prey.

For the second time in his life, he was being pursued.

Unlike when Rin had set her angry sights on him, this time, he didn’t want to flee.

“No. I am harboring no secret family. Everyone I hold dear is… here.”

A spark in the depths of her gaze, something warmer than he’d seen in ages, drew him in as if he were part moth.

“Then… what kept you away?”

He breathed in slowly and held it for a moment before exhaling again, reminding himself of who he was, how powerful he was, how fearless he was against every enemy he’d ever come up against.

He was not this coward who ran at the first sight of failure, he licked his wounds, dug in his heels, and dove back in.

Sharpening his gaze as he sharpened a sword, Sesshomaru decided to swing.

“You.”

“Me?”

“I made a fool of myself.”

“You didn’t! You were sad about Rin.”

“I was sad about you.”

“Me?”

“You.”

A blush; a blink; a confused tilt of the head; she leaned further in, and dropped her voice.

“But… what did I do?”

“You are aging. Very quickly.”

“I don’t look old!”

“You do not,” he quickly amended, sensing her rising anger. But one missed strike would not deter him. “But, one day you will. Much more swiftly than I will.”

“I… I know…”

“Unless….”

“Unless?”

He paused, poising himself to swoop in and make his killing blow.

He thought back on his life.

Once he’d finished training, once he’d surpassed every sword master his father could find, once he could hold his own against that very father and had proven himself strong enough, he’d quickly realized very few were a true match for him.

Of all the times he’d found himself here, ready to strike, ready to win, he’d never been so unsure of that victory.

But Rin was right, he wanted to know.

“Unless I make you mine.”

The breath left her lungs in a soft woosh, and she pressed her hands over her heart.

“Yours?”

“Mine.”

“Oh.”

He stood, and so did she, and he walked around her small table.

“If you will but say the word, I would seal you to me for all time and never release you from my side.”

“You’re serious? You’re really serious?!”

Her eyes were wide and her hands trembled as she reached forward to clasp the fabric of his clothing.

He gripped her shoulders and pulled her forward, and she tilted her head back to see him.

“I would never be false about something so dire. I have long wished to have you for my own.”

“Oh my gods. Oh my gods. You really are serious.”

“Tell me. Would you be willing to let me court you? To let me prove myself?”

“I can’t believe this, I can’t beli-“

He caught her chin in his hand, gently pressing his thumb over her mouth to pause her rambling.

“Kagome,” he breathed out, watching her eyes cloud, wondering if he didn’t need to do quite so much convincing. “Tell me. Can I be yours? Can I make you mine?”

“Sesshomaru…” she whispered, melting into him, “I’ve… I’ve wanted to be yours for so long.”

The swelling thrill of victory merged with the stunning reality that his wildest dream had come true.

“Truly?”

“Yes yes! Truly!”

And just as every time before, his prey had fallen- or had he?- and the spoils of battle were his to claim.

He leaned in, watching her face for any sign of retreat, but she held her ground, and when their lips met for the first time an unshakable sense of home settled in, filling in all the spaces between his bones and blood until he was as solid as stone.

She sighed and fell into him, wrapping her arms tightly around him, her cheek pressed right over his heart, and he held her with such contentment it almost ached.

Birdsong melted through the symphony of their breathing, their first warning of the coming of the day.

She looked up at him and softness suffused every line of her face.

“We should go check on Rin now. The sun will rise soon, and you need to meet your new grandson.”

He grinned wryly, not sure he truly met the requirements for being a grandfather, but he didn’t have it in him to argue even for sport.

“But then we will return, and you will rest.”

“With you?” She asked with a hopeful blush, and he knew he would deny her nothing.

“If you wish.”

“I do wish.”

“Then it will be so.”

She snuggled into his chest again, allowing the morning birds to usher in the dawn of their first day together, with countless more to follow.