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Time has passed since they’ve made their promise, even after the final day arrived they kept “rescheduling” the date of when they’ll have their battle to the death. They both knew that what they were doing was on purpose, neither of them had anything else important that could interfere with their battle. They both had a silent agreement on ignoring the fact that they’re obviously putting it off.
They always met up in some deserted place at midnight, away from any lurking eyes and alone with only the other as their sole company. Tonight, they met at the docks.
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Atsushi panted as he arrived at their meetup spot, he looked toward his partner and watched him get up from his spot on the ground. Akutagawa was always there before him, at some point during their rendezvous Atsushi realized that Akutagawa was the type to immediately head towards a meetup spot even if it’d been scheduled for two hours later.
They both knew the routine, Atsushi would just talk about his day and Akutagawa would listen while adding some commentary here and there. It was the same old dance, but they wouldn’t have it any other way. It was the one normal thing that they had in their lives.
As Atsushi rambled on about his day, he had a thought pushed to the forefront of his brain. For the past few days, he’d been mulling over a certain thought. He saw how versatile Akutagawa’s Ability was, and he knew how Akutagawa thought. It wasn’t hard to imagine what his partner’s response would be to his question, but he wanted to get it out before it began bothering him. He turned to Akutagawa before sighing when he noticed that his partner was clearly in some other place at the moment. He decided to ask his question anyways. Best case scenario, Akutagawa was too zoned out to hear him.
“What are your thoughts on joining the agency?”
Akutagawa’s eyes instantly cleared the moment he spoke those words. Atsushi quickly moved out of the way of Rashoumon’s spikes, he was so used to Akutagawa’s movement that even Rashoumon’s attacks were predictable. Akutagawa always aimed for the throat, but never actually made any puncture wounds. He always stopped before he could actually stab Atsushi.
Akutagawa covered his mouth, letting out small coughs, and averted his eyes. He then shook his head before finally giving Atsushi a response. “Nonsense. A place such as that isn’t suitable for a tool like me…”
Atsushi narrowed his eyes, he always hated the way Akutagawa described himself. He may be self deprecating, but he never went as far as dehumanizing himself by calling himself a tool. He clicked his tongue as he took a step forward. “And why is it unsuitable for a… tool… like you?”
Never before has he hated uttering the word tool, but in this very moment he wished that it was nonexistent. He keenly watched Akutagawa’s every movement as he decided to speak once again.
“A tool that kills isn’t useful when it comes to saving.”
Atsushi carefully let out long breaths, he didn’t want to snap right now. Again with the ‘useful tool’ nonsense! Akutagawa always used those words and Atsushi was sick and tired of hearing him utter that rubbish. “You’re a person Akutagawa, you’re Ability is versatile and can be used as a way to help others!”
Then Akutagawa said something that really pushed his buttons.
“I’m only useful for killing, a tool that has been sharpened and refined for the mafia. I’m useless elsewhere.”
Atsushi reach forward and grabbed hold of Akutagawa’s collar, he wasn’t rough on his but he definitely wasn’t gentle either. He then jabbed a finger at his partner’s chest.
“Fine, then how about I say this in your language. You can be a tool that helps others! All tools can be used to kill but they can also be used to help others, fix things! You’re no different!”
As Akutagawa was processing what he said, Atsushi spoke another world tilting sentence.
“If you’re only useful for killing, then you’re a dull blade.”
Atsushi quickly let go of his partner when he noticed Akutagawa’s hands quickly reaching for his collar. Instead of Akutagawa trying to grab him like he expected, he was instead greeted with the image of Akutagawa gripping his collar, hiding himself behind his trenchcoats collar. Atsushi silently stood there as he watched his partner stay frozen in place.
After a few minutes, Atsushi began to worry. He raised a hand, but then froze when he noticed that his partner was shaking. As he listened carefully, he could hear faint whimpering although it was slightly muffled. Akutagawa was crying. Akutagawa was crying!
He reached for Akutagawa’s face, he felt him flinch but didn’t pull away. Atsushi took that was approval to raise his face, he gently raised his face to eye level before freezing once more. It was such an inappropriate thought, especially when it’s about someone crying, but he couldn’t help thinking of Akutagawa as beautiful in this very moment.
Atsushi shoved those thought into a dark corner of his brain, he’ll deal with that later when he’s back in his dorm. Right now, he needs to keep Akutagawa company. He knew that Akutagawa didn’t like to be in close proximity when he’s feeling upset, Gin informed him about that, but he didn’t know what to do in order to comfort him. He then realized Akutagawa probably didn’t know how he wanted to be comforted either, so he did the only comforting gesture that he knew didn’t involve close proximity or intense intimacy.
Atsushi gently rubbed his thumbs over Akutagawa’s cheeks, wiping away any tears that fell from his unusually bright eyes in the process. He must be doing something right as Akutagawa lifted a hand to keep his hands on his face, so he kept doing his gentle gesture. After some time, Atsushi carefully placed his forehead against Akutagawa’s, he didn’t protest so he assumed that he’s still doing fine comforting him. He blatantly ignored Byakko’s pleased rumbles. He ignored the soft feeling in his chest at the proximity between the two. Just focus on comforting Akutagawa, all else is unimportant. Eventually the tears will stop flowing and they’ll go back to their usual rhythm… right?