Chapter Text
When Minho first sees Jisung there’s no great moment of clarity, no fireworks, no sign that this is different than any other person he has met that day. A seventeen year old boy doesn’t spark any great emotion, except maybe a desire to get to know him. He’s young and uncertain and by now Minho knows what it’s like to meet beautiful men when you’re too young to know what you want - so he drops formalities and watches as Jisung seems to unlearn some fundamental truth in front of him. (Years later, Jisung will sheepishly admit he never thought someone as beautiful as Minho could exist, and he feels his heart beat in his fingers).
*
Over the course of the next three years Minho will learn everything there is to know about Jisung. He makes a point to learn his fears and hopes, everything he hates and everything he loves. This is enough, mostly, until it isn’t. Minho is standing at the threshold to their common area, watching Jisung laugh until tears roll down his face and he thinks I need to know what that tastes like
He compartmentalizes that to figure out later, and walks away.
*
Later turns out to be during lockdown, when Jisung is bemoaning the fact that he probably won’t get another growth spurt. He then starts to say something along the lines of “if I gain some bulk at the gym maybe I’ll look larger” but Minho is frozen on the previous thought. Jisung will always be smaller than him, a bit shorter with a waist smaller than Minho’s thighs combined. He’s stuck in a loop of I can throw him when he tunes back in and lies that yes, bulking up would help, for sure.
When he hangs up the video call he jerks off to the thought of broad shoulders framing a small waist, and firm biceps between his teeth.
This is the first time Minho ever consciously fists his cock to the thought of his soulmate, with previous occurrences usually involving Jisung’s face flashing across his mind unconsciously. Minho is a hot blooded gay man, and Jisung is like a siren to him - demanding to be known, demanding to be desired. He won’t apologize for being human enough to acknowledge this.
*
A recurring theme in Minho’s life is people thinking he feels emotions less strongly than others. He hasn’t exactly made an effort to remedy this, secure in the knowledge other people can’t see the acid that curls around his teeth when he’s upset, the thorns that burrow in his lungs when he’s so happy he can’t think. Minho has been told by previous lovers, friends, and teachers that he can be a little…intense. Usually this is said as a warning, a request to become less - to hide behind that fake facade of indifference. Jisung embraces it, when Minho turns up the volume and takes their games a step too far. You’re so intense hyung he laughs, and Minho thinks about crawling into his ribcage. Thinks about how tightly the bones would hold his frame, and allows himself to feel that desire until there’s nothing left.
*
can you cut people without hurting them
can you cut people without hurting them a lot
how to bite someone with teeth and draw blood
what does it mean if you want to bite someone and never let go
A series of increasingly unhelpful google searches lead Minho to a week of confusing orgasms, until he finds himself standing in the dorm’s kitchen holding a knife and thinking of Jisung. He’s not even cooking, just needed to hold a blade before he searches for something like “knifeplay for people who are stupid” and jumps out a window.
“What are you thinking about?” Felix asks, hovering at the doorway. From the outside, this does look like the beginning of a mental breakdown. He’s probably right to keep his distance.
“No one” Minho lies, and the taste of copper on his canines is so real that he misses the concerned glance Felix shoots him at the answer to a question he didn’t ask.
*
The next guy he fucks asks Minho to tie him up, with a thin black rope that burns his hands when he grips too hard. Not for the first time, Jisung’s face swims in front of him when he’s coming apart above this man (it’s happening more and more with his hookups, but he doesn’t feel like addressing that). This time is the first time he’s imagining Jisung bound, all consuming in his restraint. Minho goes home and learns fifteen different knots in a week- just in case. In case what, he’s not sure.
*
Chan picks up on it first, the bastard, and casually corners Minho one night in his dorm.
“What do you think of Jisung?”
I want to sink my teeth into his neck.
“He’s cool.” Minho hates leading questions.
“Ookay and…what else?” Chan loves leading questions.
I want to taste all of his emotions through his skin. I want to place him underneath me and show him how much he owns my soul.
He doesn’t say this, of course. Chan is supportive to a fault, but vanilla enough in his day to day that this might get him sent to therapy.
“He’s talented. Small. Nice” Minho is edging towards the front door, thinking about all the ways he’ll avoid being alone with Chan this week “would you like more adjectives?”
Chan doesn’t say anything, seeming not to find whatever he’s looking for in Minho’s face. Minho takes that moment to bolt out of his dorm, letting his feet take him to Jisung’s bed and crawling inside.
*
He reads about primal play and watches a lot of dodgy porn, featuring shuddering twinks with fear filled faces. As much as he wants to pin Jisung to the ground and make him bleed (and god he does), this doesn't feel right - there’s some emotion the actors are missing, and he thinks if he can figure that out maybe he’ll make sense of what he wants.
*
The breaking point comes in the middle of their first comeback post Covid, when Minho is exhausted and irritable and sleeping in Jisung’s bed nightly to avoid becoming homicidal. Jisung is watching a new episode of some anime on his phone but Minho is watching Jisung and realizes-
I don’t think I can live without knowing what his mouth feels like, what his teeth taste like.
Minho pulls Jisung’s arm down for a moment, and considers everything he has to lose before asking, cautiously “Jisung? Can I-“
Can I consume you fill you up like smoke absorb you until I don’t remain and it’s only us, as one
“Yes” Jisung breathes and for a moment Minho is very worried he said all of that out loud, before realizing that maybe he was just very obviously telegraphing what he wanted. If the way he’s holding Jisung’s face by the jaw and focusing entirely on his mouth is anything to go by, he thinks it was likely the latter.
He surges upwards into Jisung’s mouth, letting the waves overwhelm him and hoping he drowns. Jisung allows himself to be pulled over and down, settling on him below his crotch and framing his face with his arms - the biceps he gained after Minho selfishly encouraged his gym journey within reach of his teeth.
Minho breaks the kiss shakily, grasping Jisung’s face in both hands and letting his brain spill out of his mouth.
“Can I bite your arms, baby? Can I just put my teeth on them, I won’t break the skin if you don’t want me to, please I know how to do it-“
This time Jisung pulls him up into the kiss, cutting off his words and his oxygen at the same time. When they part this time Jisung says “You can, if you can tell me one thing.”
Minho is prepared to give him anything he wants, always, and after a beat Jisung continues.
“What is this?” Jisung is looking at him, sitting solidly on his thighs. “What do you want?”
I want to live inside your lungs Minho thinks, desperately. He’s trying to think of how to say that in a way that won’t make Jisung run, but all of his normal words have left. His silence makes Jisung shift, as though he’s going to remove his weight and Minho’s hands grip around his waist before he can even think.
“I want your bones” Minho spits out, and when Jisung doesn’t make any sort of face at those words he continues “I want to be inside them. I need to put my bones inside the hollow parts of yours.”
Jisung looks at him in bemusement for a moment before settling back more confidently on his thighs and asks “Why do you think I have hollow bones?”
Because we’re made to fit together, I can fit your heart in my chest and I can fit my bones inside yours and I can
“That’s why you’re so light” Minho answers instead, and pauses before continuing. “I want to be inside you in every way. I need to be yours completely and feel your skin, feel your bones on mine.”
Jisung is looking at him with a deep fondness combined with an emotion he can’t place, and it’s making his brain melt. He shouldn’t be causing emotions he can’t even name. Not when he needs to know Jisung fully. He’s starting to feel a little panicky, and lets his filter drop again as he continues.
“I need to know what your emotions taste like on your skin, I need to see your blood under my nails and feel it in my throat and -“
“In every way?” Jisung cuts him off.
“Every way” he chokes out.
Minho is hard when Jisung scoots forward to sit on his lap. He’s half out of his mind when Jisung presses their clothed bodies together, showing Minho that he’s affected too.
Jisung doesn’t look at him for a moment, instead focusing on his breathing until Minho feels his own slow.
“I want that too Minho. I have wanted it, for a long time. All of it, I think? I want all of you.”
Minho can feel Jisung’s heart beating on top of his own, and he feels drunk on it. He wants to put his hand inside Jisung’s chest and pump it himself, but settles for tightening the grip on his waist as he crashes into a very obvious conclusion to his years of searching.
This is love.
*
He ultimately doesn’t break any skin, since they don’t know what outfits they’ll be in tomorrow. Minho sinks his teeth into Jisung’s biceps and then sucks the meat of his pecs into his mouth while they rut against each other desperately.
“I don’t think we can fuck tonight” Jisung gasps out “I’ve seen your cock and I have to dance tomorrow.”
If he thinks about that sentence Minho might actually die, so he glosses over it and elects to push their sweatpants out of the way so that their bare skin is finally touching. Jisung is leaking onto him and he presses his thumb into the head of his red cock without another thought. Jisung throws his head back and moans lowly as his hips kick forward.
“There are other people in the dorm, baby” he breathes.
If they make enough noise no one will ever doubt who either of them belong to, Minho could make him scream until he sobs but
“You’re right” he says instead, and licks the taste of Jisung’s precome off of his thumb before taking one of Jisung’s hands and spitting into it. Jisung makes a brief face at that, but it melts into pleasure once Minho positions it with his own around both of their cocks and strokes them.
Jisung falls into a bruising kiss to keep himself quiet at they come together for the first time, and Minho doesn’t think before sticking his fingers into his mouth to see how they taste. Jisung is shaking above him, coming down from the high with his head nestled in the crook of Minho’s shoulder.
“I think I love you.” Minho says once he’s cleaned his hand of come, making Jisung laugh into his neck.
“Yeah, I love you too” he replies “I have for years, but I think I was scared. You’re it for me, you know?”
Minho feels his chest loosen for the first time in years as he murmurs back “You’ve always been it for me, baby.”
*
Later, Minho shows him all fifteen knots he still knows how to tie, and they spend an evening making a list of what they want to do with each other. Jisung is less experienced and more apprehensive, but he eagerly agrees to rope and teeth, spit and come and blood (they'll need to talk more about that one, but a yes is good enough for now). Minho could die from relief that they’re matched in this, and books them appointments to get tested so that “our first time you can fuck me raw and get kinda freaky” as Jisung says, eloquently.
(He does - their first time ends with his blood underneath Jisung’s nails and the print of his teeth all over Jisung’s body. He licks the sweat up from the crook of his neck and sucks Jisung’s stained fingers into his mouth after he’s collapsed on top of Jisung and thinks it tastes as good as he hoped.)
*
Chan is insufferable during the conversation they have in the following weeks, once they talk about words like exclusive, and boyfriends, and husbands. (That last one is Minho after a particularly intense orgasm that lets him taste Jisung’s tears for the first time, so maybe he’s a bit overwhelmed when he says I want to marry you. Jisung punches him and says he has wait longer before asking, but Minho can see fresh tears shining in his eyes when he says it.)
“He’s ‘cool’” Chan mocks, airily “he’s ‘small’. What the fuck Minho? How did you land this?”
Minho is glaring at Chan while Jisung laughs himself to the ground, turning to hopefully keep his ears out of view. The heat rising in them will give too much away and he doesn’t want to give that to anyone but the man on the floor next to him. Chan sees anyways, because of course he does, but Jisung speaks before he can say something Minho might make him regret.
“Don’t tease him hyung” Jisung gasps “his way with words and general bloodlust has captivated me, body and soul. It clearly worked.”
If the ‘bloodlust’ gives Chan pause he doesn’t show it, and he instead puts his hands up soothingly.
“Well the good news is I’ve been prepared for this for a long long time, so just…work with me, and try not to make the news before we all agree on it.”
*
Nothing changes after that, but at the same time everything changes. Minho knows what Jisung tastes like when he cries, has learned the feeling of his skin gripped between his teeth, and has heard every noise his mouth can make. He still craves Jisung, thinks about the sound of his screams, his laughter and his shaky breaths. But now when he’s on camera and starts to think about putting his hand into Jisung’s mouth and bending him over to bite the back of his neck until he’s begging and squirming on set and no one will look at him again he can swallow the acid in his throat and know that they can have each other in every way they want, later.
They can have each other wholly and completely, and the love that burns up his spinal cord at that thought fills his bones with warmth.