Archive of Our Own

r/relationships · Posted by u/Magic8Balls 3 mo. ago.

My (23M) boyfriend (18) won't stop eating my food

Relationships

My (23M) boyfriend (18) won't stop eating my food. I've kept it in separate containers, put my name on it, even used one of those fridge locks, but he keeps stealing it and pretends he didn’t. I can't keep buying takeout for lunch because I'm broke. How can I get him to stop, and in the meantime, does anyone have some dirt-cheap meal ideas to recommend?

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r/SubredditDrama · Posted by u/lordofassholes 1 mo. ago.

Troll claims to be involved with 12 different guys, leads to r/Relationships schism

Subreddit Drama

So this man (I repeat, this man, because he is gay, stop assuming he’s a woman for chrissake) is always posting some shit on r/Relationships. He posts them all under the same username, so before long, people figured out that this guy (Magic8Balls, henceforth “8”) is behind such gems as “I (23M) think my boyfriend (22) is trying to eat me” and “I (23M) caught my boyfriend (18) sniffing my dirty underwear.” Notice the different ages of the boyfriend in each title? Well, that’s because they’re two different boyfriends. In fact, 8 claims to be the epicenter of a 13-person polycule (although I guess he’s not exactly dating all of them—one’s a friend with benefits, and another’s a sugar daddy). Of course, this is fake as hell, but once people start calling him out, the mods ban anyone decrying 8 as a troll, because the mods’ brains are more rotten and maggot-riddled than Sardinian cheese. Now people across Reddit are pissed:

ForestWrath: wtf why is everyone getting the banhammer lately? ETA: bitch now they’ve banned me too

AllTiedUp: Anyone been on r/Relationships lately? The mods are on a crazy power trip over Magic8Balls! Why do they care about some stupid troll? Is he dating one of the mods lmao?

NeverSurrender: I sent a modmail to see why my comments about 8 kept getting deleted in the megathread, but…the mods banned me for it…

TomCruiseship: “blah blah dogpiling, blah blah harassment, blah blah obey the sub rules” well maybe I think the sub rules are stupid, how about that

Before long, the r/Relationships rejects create a new subreddit for r/Rships_Circlejerk, which is immediately a shitshow of its own because every circlejerk subreddit is a shitshow:

pampocandy: why is this sub also run by morons who only enforce the rules when it's convenient

         LoloVillager: This sub has rules??

pwincesspweach: Seriously? This place is already overrun by unfunny shitposts and memes? If I wanted that, I'd go to r/Funny 🙄

girlfromIpanema: had 2 make a new acct bc i got banned here just for calling 8 a [LONG STRING OF SLURS REDACTED BY ME]? What happened to freedom of speech? I didn’t deserve that!

         catnutsnbutts: No, you def deserved that

Meanwhile, r/Relationships is hemorrhaging subscribers and trying to do damage control, but it’s too little, too late, as seen by this sample from a mod post:

PLEASE STOP SENDING MODMAIL, we are overwhelmed right now. We understand your concerns, even though your concerns are fucking moronic and all of you appear to have been raised in a barn. No matter how much you downvote us, Magic8Balls’ posts will stay up unless he is definitively proven to be a troll.

But what about the man who started it all, you ask? Good question. Somehow, 8 does not seem to have noticed anything that has happened, probably because he hasn’t been on his Reddit account in the past month. Guess he’s too busy screwing all 12 men’s brains out, unlike us chronically online losers. Or he’s silently laughing at the chaos he’s caused.

TLDR: gay trolls are powerful.

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