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On a peaceful night, The moon cast its soft glow through a cloudless sky and onto the roof, where San sat sinking into one of the lounge chairs , a gentle breeze hitting his skin just right, the quiet atmosphere and gentle breeze felt like a hug, calming and perfectly fitting for the vibe of his smoke. Between his fingers, he held a blunt he had rolled earlier that day, taking slow inhales that filled his lungs and sent him into a state of floating and relaxation. With each exhale, the worries of the day dissolved into the night, leaving nothing but a calm stillness in their place.
He was startled mid-inhale when the roof door was suddenly pulled open, the person who opened it clearly in a hurry, it dampened the ambiance a little, but he wasn't too mad about it, although he wasn’t technically allowed to be on the roof at this hour, he wasn't too worried seeing as the only person who would come to the roof so late and might catch him was his RA, and seonghwa was his friend so he wouldn’t actually report him.
He turned to the door, curious to see who interrupted his quiet, to his surprise, it was wooyoung, he had his head down and his breathing was abnormally heavy, he didn’t look like he was doing good, san recalled the younger telling him that he dealt with panic attacks occasionally and had prepared himself in case the time ever came that he had to help him.
However, when wooyoung lifted his head and saw san there, he froze, he had gone to the roof thinking no one would be there, he momentarily forgot about his panic, his eyes then shifted and saw the blunt in san’s hand and his eyes widened, he hadn’t known that san smoked, let alone smoked weed.
He was so shocked that he jumped slightly when san called out to him “hey wooyoung are you okay?” he said, concerned, and wooyoung started stuttering “ uh-...ye-yeah I guess…so” wooyoung said still looking a little surprised, he straightened up and started walking over to the chairs where san was sitting, “since when….do you smoke?” he asked curiously, panic long forgotten now, as he was still walking towards san, “it’s… been a while since I had the chance, but I've been smoking on and off for a couple years now” san answered hesitantly, “but are you okay? You looked like you were panicking just now”, he sounded concerned still, “hm oh yeah I’m okay just needed to get away from everything, don’t worry about it” he said dismissively trying to avoid the topic, “I’m more interested in you now”, san was very much still going to worry but he dropped it for wooyoung’s sake, “so what do you wanna do then?” san asked, wooyoung shrugged, “I don’t know honestly, can we just chill here for a little bit?” he turned to san while asking and he looked so adorable and how could san say no to him, “of course we can” san said smiling fondly, so they just sat there together in silence for a while.
San kept on smoking for a while, he then noticed wooyoung staring at him or the blunt more like, “do you wanna try it?” san asked with a raised eyebrow, wooyoung was a little bit surprised by the question, “oh no I don’t know how to smoke, never have”, san chuckled at his answer, “I’ll help you if you want”, san asked moving his hand with the blunt closer to wooyoung, “maybe later” wooyoung sounded uncertain, like he wanted to try but was scared, “suite yourself” san shrugged and moved it back to his lips.
They returned to sitting in silence, wooyoung kept staring at the night sky but would often be watching san as well, san turned to him and they kept looking into each other’s eyes, both pairs were curious but one was amused and the other was scared, after about a minute wooyoung finally gathered his courage and blurted out “can I try?”, he asked in a rushed voice, san chuckled again “okay do you want to take the blunt and try it or do you want the easier method?” he asked gently, ”there’s another way?” “of course, woo it’s just a little more…intimate”.
Wooyoung blinked at him, not understanding what he was talking about, “what…does that mean?” wooyoung asked blankly, san looked embarrassed as he said “do you know what shotgunning is?” san asked and saw the realization on wooyoung’s face, he was about to take back the idea when wooyoung said “sure let’s do it” san was stunned into silence, he didn’t think wooyoung would agree to it, so fast too, he was brought back into reality when wooyoung started scooting closer to him on the chairs they were sitting at, he had a determined look in his eyes, like he was going to do this whether san helped or not, san was confused at first, but soon realized that wooyoung really needed this, he needed an escape right now, he needed to get his mind to shut up and just relax, because if he didn’t, he would spiral and break down badly, so he braced himself.
San got close in front of wooyoung, so close that their knees were slotted together, he went to grab wooyoung slowly, focusing on wooyoung’s face to look for any discomfort, when he didn’t find any, he grabbed wooyoung gently by the neck, he took a puff in from the blunt, held it in, and then brought his and wooyoung’s faces closer, he put his thumb on wooyoung’s bottom lip to open his mouth, when wooyoung opened his mouth, he looked absolutely beautiful, san could’ve kissed him right then and there, he refrained himself and focused on the task at hand, san started blowing the smoke out of his lungs, wooyoung started to breath it in, and after a few seconds wooyoung rolled his eyes back and closed them in satisfaction, making san smile at his adorableness, they moved away slightly so wooyoung can blow it out as well and then just sat around for a bit.
They kept doing the same process over and over again, getting closer and closer to each other each time, the tension was rising with each inhale and they could both feel it, they both reached a point where they were so relaxed that they didn’t trust their tongues or actions anymore, so they decided to call it a night, and they both left for their respective dorms with a hug that lasted a little too long and smiles a little too wide for two people who just did something considered slightly unethical.
Over the next few weeks, they kept meeting up to smoke together, and even though wooyoung got used to the feeling of smoke in his lungs, he never asked to use the blunt on his own, simply because he enjoyed it more when san did it for him, seeing him up close, so focused, making sure wooyoung was comfortable, and checking on him after they’re done that he didn’t have a bad high, texting him to see if he reached his dorm okay. Their daily lives were not affected by all this, they were still good friends and still talked about everything like usual, but in the night, they had deep conversations and got everything off their chests, they still talked about everything but more honestly, without the fear of being judged because they knew the other would never judge them, and thus formed a routine of smoking at least twice a week together.
One night, almost a month after the first day they smoked together, they were on the roof doing the usual session, wooyoung was extra frustrated with his day, he desperately needed physical contact on top of his high, and their knees touching wasn’t enough for him, he suddenly got an idea, that his drug-riddled brain thought was brilliant, he moved away from san, who looked absolutely adorable with a confused frown on his face, wooyoung then moved san’s arms up, and proceeded to straddle his lap, tuck his face into his neck, and wrap his arms around san’s waist, he sighed, satisfied, and felt his body relax further, while he got comfortable.
San, who had been frozen the entire time, chuckled in disbelief, and then wrapped his arms around wooyoung as well, he knows how much wooyoung loves and appreciates physical affection, especially when he’s frustrated or extra stressed, so he was completely okay with their position, even though it was new territory, it was comfortable and he was still able to reach his blunt to his mouth and inhale without disturbing the resting woo in his lap.
While sitting in san’s lap, wooyoung was thinking about how this was a very intimate position, that’s what boyfriends did, but they weren’t boyfriends, why weren’t they boyfriends, the attraction from wooyoung’s side was there, was san the one that didn’t like wooyoung, why didn’t he like him, they were very compatible in wooyoung’s opinion, so he decided to voice his opinion to san.
“Why aren’t we boyfriends?” wooyoung asked with a pout, san laughed, knowing wooyoung was very high at that point, “I don’t know, why do you think so?” he said grinning, “I think it's because you don't like me like that!” he said loudly, pout still prominant, “but why! I like you like that, so why don’t you like me like that?” he sounded genuinely frustrated over it that san didn’t know if it was the high talking anymore, “but wooyoung, how would you know my feelings? You’re not me” he said a little too fondly, wooyoung gasped and removed his face from san’s neck to look him in the eyes, “well do you?” he asked with his eyes shining with hope, like a child asking their mother for a new toy, it made san melt internally, looking at how expectant wooyoung was right now, he decided not to tell him, but rather show him how he feels.
San reached out and held the side of wooyoung’s face, he caressed his cheek for a bit, but then wooyoung started pouting again, san chuckled and started to close the gap between them, and their lips finally met, it was gentle and calm, they felt warmth fill their chests and spread to the rest of their bodies, they were both so relieved and happy that they ended up giggling mid-kiss, they broke it off and looked at each other, both smiling giddily, they giggled again, they do that alot around each other, wooyoung moved to hug san like he was previously, san adjusted his hold on wooyoung and held him tight, he couldn’t believe that just happened, “do you know now if I like you like that or not?”, “hmmm I don't think I got it, can you show me again?” the smile was evident in his voice, and who was san to deny this beautiful man his kisses?
They ended their night later than usual due to some “distractions”, they headed inside to go to their dorms, but wooyoung was still feeling clingy despite being glued to san for almost two hours, they agreed to sleep in san’s dorm room, but agreed that they weren’t ready for any physical activity, since they were both still high off their mind, so they just went to san’s dorm and changed for sleep, wooyoung in a t-shirt and sweatpants he took from san, and san in only sweatpants because he runs hot, they laid in bed silently and admired each other until they fell asleep peacefully.
The next morning, wooyoung woke up first, he found himself with a san blanketing over him, meaning san’s leg was over his legs and his arms were hugging his waist, with his head laying on wooyoung’s collarbone, he smiled down at san, and then was struck with the memories from last night, and started grinning like a cheshire cat from happiness, it was then that san started to stir awake, he lifted his head confused at first, and then saw wooyoung and smiled, wooyoung smiled back, he went back to his little nook in wooyoung’s collarbone and relaxed, “do you remember everything?” he asked sleepily, and his voice was doing things to wooyoung’s heart, “yeah, I remember everything” “even your ‘why don’t you like me like that?’“ san said chuckling, wooyoung smacked him lightly on the back, “shut up! I was high out of my mind!”, he sounded embarrassed, he followed it with a few more smacks, all while san was laughing delightfully at him, san lifted his head up, “so wooyoung tell me, are we boyfriends now?” he asked teasingly, and wooyoung’s blush would put strawberries to shame, “of course! I wouldn’t have asked you that if I didn’t want to be your boyfriend”, wooyoung watched as san’s face lit up with unfiltered joy, and he gave wooyoung a little peck on the lips, he smiled again and let his head fall again, “okay I’m going back to sleep now, it’s the weekend”, he already sounded half asleep, wooyoung felt on cloud nine, even though his high was long gone now, that must be what falling in love with choi san feels like, and he was addicted.