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Quinn vaguely remembers when her mom, Emilie, told her soon she’d have a baby brother. She was so excited, her mom even made a calendar for her to count down the days. When Ethan was brought home Quinn felt as much love as her heart could manage.
Richie didn’t feel the same way, she couldn’t understand much at that age but she knew Richie didn’t really like her either.
As they got older, and Quinn became more aware, she vowed to make sure Ethan knew he was loved. It was a privilege she was never granted from her older brother, she didn’t want Ethan to feel that way. If Quinn was being honest, she never was able to understand how Richie could be so cold to them. When she looked at Ethan, she felt nothing but love. How could anyone feel something else? She just didn’t understand, she figured maybe she would in a few years or so, but that never happened.
EIGHT/SIX
Mrs Autumn, Quinn's teacher, asked the class what superpower they wanted. Quinn wishes she had the ability to read minds. Ethan had been having a hard time recently. He wouldn’t eat much, even when their mom made mac and cheese and that’s his favorite. Ethan also refuses to say more than a few words — he even refuses to play goosebumps with her!! That’s his favorite game - Quinn's too. They love the show more than anything, so one day they decided to make up their own stories. They run from monsters, pretend to get stuck in time, they’d even pretend to get trapped in a lava pit and so much more.
Sometimes Quinn would hear Ethan crying when he thought everyone was asleep. She wants to comfort him, but she doesn’t know how. More often than not, she could’ve sworn she saw bruises on Ethan but she couldn’t quite tell. Quinn really wanted to ask what happened but she knew it would be useless. He won’t talk.
If you asked Ethan what he wanted to be when he grows up, the answer will always be a NASA employee. Did he know what specific job he wanted? Of course not, but he wanted to work there regardless. Ethan was obsessed with anything space related. His room had galaxy posters everywhere, his bedding is space themed, a lot of his clothes are even space themed.
So with all of this in mind, their mom planned a trip to the space foundation discovery center. Of course, their dad complained nonstop. He said Ethan won’t even remember the trip when he grows up and it’s a waste of money. Emilie looked him straight in the eye and told him he can stay home if he wants but Quinn and Ethan are going no matter what. Their dad stayed home, and so did Richie.
The three days they spent there was pure magic, for lack of better wording. Quinn will never forget how excited Ethan was. Before she wasn’t really interested in space like he is, but she quickly understood his fascination. Their mom made the right call, Ethan's mood changed drastically after the trip. He finally started eating again and he wouldn't stop talking on the ride home. Quinn thinks it’s close to being the most he’s ever talked in his life.
Quinn went to bed with a big smile on her face. Before drifting off, she thought about drawing some of the things they saw with the new art kit she got.
Unfortunately, her peaceful sleep didn’t last long. An hour later she woke up, she couldn’t pinpoint it but Quinn knew something was wrong. A couple minutes later, she heard crying. Quinn followed the sound downstairs.
Part of her wanted to go back to her room when she saw it.
Richie held a camera in one hand, a knife in the other, and Ethan cornered on the floor. As Quinn inched closer, one of the floor boards made a sound, making Richie turn around to look at her.
“What are you doing?” Quinn asked.
“I'm playing a game with Ethan,” Richie waved toward the stairs, “go back upstairs.”
Quinn shook her head. “I think I should take him back to bed.”
She moved to pick Ethan up, but Richie shoved her back. It wasn’t all that rough, but it scared her and apparently Ethan as he started crying more. Then, Ethan moved toward her. Richie looked oddly happy about that, and before Quinn really knew what she was doing, she jumped in front of ethan. The knife hit her arm instead of his.
When their parents finally came downstairs to find out what the screaming and crying was about, Quinn could see the pure terror in her mom’s eyes. Emilie was quick to pick them both up.
Ethan stayed in Quinn’s room that night, she tried not to cry in front of him but she couldn’t help it. Her arm hurt, her parents and Richie were yelling at each other, and she had never been so scared in her life. Why did Richie do that? Quinn was really looking forward to drawing with Ethan tomorrow and playing goosebumps again. Ethan was finally feeling better and Richie ruined it. That's not fair.
After that, things went completely downhill. Quinn slowly lost her title as a big sister, she had to be Ethan's parent now too. Bailey was never much of a father to begin with, the most he did was give them money. It was always Emilie who took care of them, but it was like she lost all sense of reality.
ELEVEN/NINE
Quinn's had a terrible day. She slept through most of her alarms, Ethan kept ignoring her wake up calls, neither of them got breakfast and of course he complained the entire way to school. Then, her math teacher just had to make it worse. And Quinn was so busy rushing them out to the door that she forgot their lunch at home. Which means she could either eat the cafeteria food, or starve. She went with the latter.
It's honestly a miracle she didn’t stab someone. She’s not usually violent, but on days like this she couldn’t keep the thoughts from invading her head. If Quinn were to be honest, again , she thinks the main reason she hasn’t lashed out is because Ethan is essentially a sponge. He's always been stuck by her side and everything she did, he did.
Quinn remembers when he was still learning to walk. She had gone upstairs and he tried to follow, somehow he managed to get up there but couldn’t get back down. It just progressed from there. Ethan started talking with his hands like she did, he walked like she did, he learned all her mannerisms. All this to say, if she starts lashing out, he will too. So it’s fine, she can keep her temper under control. Besides, everyone gets moody and they don’t lash out. Well, they probably don’t get upset the way she does, but whatever. It's fine.
Quinn was just grateful to be home. As she walked toward the house, the only thought on her mind was a nap — she definitely needs something to eat first, though. Yet, Ethan was fussing over his shoelaces. Quinn went inside first. She moved to take her shoes off, only to stop dead in her tracks.
On the living room floor was a puddle of blood surrounding her mom’s body. Richie was standing over her, a knife in his hand. All she could do was stare, until suddenly her mothers eyes met hers. She’s still alive. Quinn went to step toward her mom but heard Ethan's footsteps approaching the door. He can’t see this, no he won’t be able to handle it.
Quinn quickly turned around to pull him away from the house. She brought them to the edge of the property to sit under a tree. It was wide enough to block Richie's view, but it didn’t put her mind at ease. Quinn honestly wasn’t sure if Richie was aware enough to notice their presence. Still, Quinn wondered if she should move them further away, just in case.
But then she thought back to that night. To her, it kind of seemed like Richie wanted Ethan to move away from him. What if that’s what he's waiting for? What if he’s waiting for them to run? Their mom was all grown up, and even she couldn’t escape Richie.
No, no they need to stay where they are. So every time Ethan tried to go back to the house, she pulled him right back down.
Ethan groaned, running his hands over his face. “Why are we outside? Space jam will be on soon and I don't wanna miss it this time!!”
“We’re staying until dad gets home. I'll just buy you the dvd later.”
“Really?” Ethan said, sitting up straight.
“Yeah.” Quinn nodded at him, trying to keep a sound voice.
Quinn honestly didn’t understand what she saw. That couldn’t have been her mom, she didn’t look like that. It couldn’t have been Richie either. Richie wasn't the warmest person, sure, but there’s no way he would do something like that. People don’t kill their own mothers…right?
As soon as their dad got home she ran over to him and tried to tell him what happened. Bailey didn’t cry, he didn’t scream, there was hardly any emotion. He simply dialed 911, waited for them to come, and then went on with his day.
Evidently, when Quinn walked into the house, Richie wasn’t done with her mom yet. Emilie Annabeth Landry was stabbed over forty times, her nose and left wrist were broken, and her throat was slit.
Richie never went to prison, Quinn isn’t entirely sure how but her dad definitely had a hand in it. Looking back, maybe if she had been brave, she could’ve asked the neighbor to call 911. But all of their houses were spread out, it wouldn’t have mattered what she did.
That night Quinn sat next to Ethan in his bed while he sobbed for hours. He held the rocket ship plushie their mom bought him at the discovery center the entire night. She didn’t cry, not until he was asleep.
It’s not just the fact her mom is dead, it’s the fact Quinn didn’t do anything and her mom had to die alone . Why couldn’t she at least try to run to the neighbors? Why did I let my mom die?
Emilie may not have been the best mom these last few years, but Quinn and Ethan still loved her and she still loved them. She did her best, Quinn knows that, but as she looked down at Ethan, who was cuddled against her with the rocket ship still in hand, it hit her that she’s completely alone. Part of her is kind of angry with her mom. It’s not fair to put any blame on her, Quinn knows that too, but her mom is strong. She's the one who taught Quinn self defense, she was the one who restrained Richie when he got too angry.
So, how did this happen? For a moment, it crossed her mind that maybe she didn’t fight back. Not by much, at least. What if she was scared to hurt Richie even though he was hurting her? Quinn could kind of understand that. If Ethan got angry and tried to hurt her, she doesn’t know if she could bring herself to hurt him back. Quinn only cried more at that thought.
She felt selfish for even thinking this, but what does this mean for her? Quinn isn’t stupid, this may be normal for her but she knows it wasn’t for everyone else. Her friends all have loving parents and they may get into arguments with their siblings but it was never like the ones she got into with Richie. Would she ever be able to do things other kids her age did again?
Quinn decides that she hates her older brother more than anything. She didn’t know it was possible to hate someone this much. He ruins everything, he tried to take ethan away from her and now he’s taken their mom? Quinn loved her so much, but Ethan was always closer. Why can’t Richie just go away?
Quinn briefly wondered what it would feel like to stand over a bloody and bruised richie. Her big brother begging his little sister for forgiveness. Maybe not now, maybe not even in a few years, but eventually Richie will know what it’s like to be on the other side of the knife. What it’s like to be terrified and feel helpless. Quinn can only hope it’s her holding the knife.
That’s not a normal thought to have , her mind supplies. Quinn ignores it. For now, she has more important things to take care of. Although she kind of hopes her dad will step up, it's not too late, not to her. He can still do something.
He never did.
FOURTEEN/TWELVE
Quinn thinks she finally has it figured out. At first she bought Ethan food he can throw in the microwave in case she isn’t there or simply can’t bring herself to make anything, but now he knows how to make basic things for himself. He did manage to burn water though, so Quinn typically kept him away from the stove. Thankfully he didn’t need a lot of help with his schoolwork, so she was able to focus on her own. Ethan knew how to do his own laundry, he just struggled with folding clothes. They spent two hours folding clothes over and over again until he got the hang of it.
Everything is fine…except for one thing. Ethan was getting angry far too easily. He would yell at whoever’s closest and had gotten into fights at school. He even started picking fights with Richie . She would notice bruises on him, when questioned he said seemed oddly defensive.
“Where do you think they’re from? You know about the fights I get into. It’s not a big deal.”
Perhaps stupidly, Quinn believed him.
SEVENTEEN/FIFTEEN
By definition, Quinn may be — alright, no she needs to be honest with herself. She is sadistic. When her friends confide in her about their problems, whether it be boy problems or family problems or really anything, she can’t help but feel a sort of satisfaction. Something deep in her chest warms, and she has to fight off a smile.
But never let it be said that she purposely hurts people - well, most of the time. Some of them deserve every ounce of pain she sends their way. That's beside the point , typically it’s not the type of thing where she goes out of her way to hurt people. It’s more like she doesn’t mind when other people get hurt.
Hence why Quinn is in her room watching some reality tv show as always. She likes seeing other peoples fucked up families. She likes knowing other people are suffering, it relaxes her. In her mind, she isn’t alone in this feeling. Everyone has their own fucked up thing that helps them.
Hell, Richie enjoys the stab movies of all things. She hates it more than anything and she has no idea why he’s so attached to them. Especially since she’s almost one hundred percent sure those awful movies are part of the reason he’s so aggressive. But if she forgot about that last part, she’d have no place to judge. Everyone has their own fucked up thing.
Quinn admits that maybe she shouldn’t have gotten too comfortable, because suddenly her chest is aching and she has to practically gasp for air. Fucking hell, will i ever have a moment of peace?
Sure enough, a few minutes later there was a noise she couldn’t quite place after she muted the tv. Quinn groans in disappointment before following the sound. The closer she got to the living room, the worse aching felt. Please, if anyone out there is listening, don’t let this be what I think it is.
Fuck.
Ethan stood in the same corner he was trapped in when he was six. Richie held the same camera and knife in his hand. Although this time Ethan didn’t look scared. This is something she’s never seen before. His eyes are filled with pure hatred. It didn’t look right to her.
Richie was laughing, she couldn’t quite make out what he was saying but she knew he was making fun of ethan. He was trying to make Ethan angry.
It worked.
Quinn watched in shock as Ethan managed to twist the knife out of Richie's hand and shove him to the floor. Ethan gifted Richie a nice gash on his shoulder, though Quinn doesn’t think the gift was appreciated because that’s all Ethan was able to do before he was the one being pushed to the floor.
That snapped Quinn back to reality and she rushed over to try to get Richie off him. As she pulled on Richie's shoulder, she felt a swift punch to the gut. It caused her to stumble back, she would’ve fallen if she didn’t have a death grip on Richie's shoulder. Now I really can’t breathe.
Richie looked down at Ethan, then back at her as if he was waiting for something. The look Ethan had before is gone, now it’s terror. Trying to make sense of Ethan's wide eyes, she follows his gaze down to her stomach.
Quinn hadn’t been punched. No, he stabbed her. Richie fucking stabbed her, again .
Richie pulling the knife out caused an agonizing sensation to come over her all at once. She vaguely registered falling to the floor. Quinn thinks she’d rather take several cuts to her arm again than experience this. Every breath she took sent more blood out of the wound, along with pain she didn’t know was possible.
Quinn thought back to the day her mother died. Quinn's always had a hard time understanding how her own brother could be so cruel, but if it was her child? Ethan is the closest to a son she’ll ever have, and she's okay with that. If one day he, for whatever reason, decides to kill her, would she fight back? Would self preservation over power her love? Or would the horror of hurting him ultimately lead her to the same fate as her mother? Deep down she knows the answer.
Quinn took in the sound of screaming and glass breaking around her. Unfortunately for him, Richie is not her son, he can barely be considered her brother. So when Quinn's vision cleared and she saw Ethan clawing at Richie's face, trying to get Richie to let go of his neck, Quinn knew what she had to do.
She refuses to let anyone else die, she refuses to let Ethan die. Using the couch as leverage to pull herself up, she looks around for anything that could be used as a weapon. Quinn spots the abomination of a lamp her father decided to buy. Yeah, that’ll do.
Quinn limped over to Richie and slammed the lamp over his head as hard as she could. Each blow sent raging pain across her abdomen — her entire body really. But Quinn will be damned before she lets the bastard get away that easily.
She didn’t stop until she physically couldn’t take it, which unfortunately was all too soon. Quinn fell back to the floor, this time she was right beside ethan.
“I hate you.” Richie muttered.
“I guarantee that I hate you more.”
Bailey came home from work only to find his children sprawled across the floor, bruised and bloody. According to him, it would’ve raised too many flags if all of them went to the hospital, so Ethan was forced to stay home. If Quinn had been more aware, she would’ve pushed for Richie to stay instead of Ethan. Maybe then he would’ve died at home from a brain bleed.
Quinn doesn’t remember the excuse her father gave the nurse. For years she’s wondered how child protective services, or anyone really, hasn’t intervened. Quinn guesses that it’s just amazing what a well respected cop can get away with.
Honestly, she doesn’t remember much of anything from the last few weeks. It was really just filled with pain, obnoxiously so. Every breath she took sent sharp waves throughout her entire body and her throat is still sore from the vomit combined with blood. The nurses were nice though, and she was placed in the pediatric icu, obviously. Which she was grateful for, Quinn probably would’ve pulled the plug on herself if she was stuck in a bland ward that reeks of death for weeks.
As odd as it was, Ethan would’ve liked it there. The pediatric icu is space themed, there’s glowing stars on the ceiling and planets and rockets and all that shit. Quinn wished he was there, he should’ve been right beside her while they recovered.
Coming home from the hospital was kind of terrible. She was grateful that she could hold Ethan again, but she refused to look at Richie. Quinn took Ethan straight to her room. If Quinn looks at Richie, she thinks she may actually kill him. Maybe after he dies, her father would be next.
Quinn likes to think she does have a superpower. It's called knowing when her dumb baby brother is in trouble, or doing something dumb, or going to say something dumb, or say something that’s terrible in other ways.
So this time, Quinn didn’t relax like she did that night. She knew something was wrong, more than what’s on the surface.
“Quinn, maybe now isn’t the best time and I'm sorry, but if I tell you something do you promise not to get upset?”
Quinn side eyed him, she doesn’t like where this is going. “I promise to try not to get upset.”
Ethan came clean about all the things she’s noticed throughout the years. Starting with when he was six.
“It's hard to remember now, it’s been so long, but I can still feel it. Richie kept saying all this crazy shit to me, he kept doing crazy shit. It was just things that could be played off as accidents at first. He would ‘accidentally’ trip me. He would ‘accidentally’ hit me - i don’t know where his logic was with that but whatever. Then he started pushing me to the ground. He started coming into my room, he started sneaking up behind me and would chase after me with that stupid fucking knife. Of course there was a camera recording most of it at all times.
”He did a lot of things, and I don't know,” Ethan threw his hands up in exasperation. “I was angry. My patience was running thin, so I started fights with kids at school who annoyed me and then with Richie himself. I knew I wouldn't win against him, but I didn't care. It just progressively got worse.”
Quinn was silent for a long time. She’ll be honest, she’s picked up quite a few parenting books, but none of them ever said how to react to your child getting abused right under your nose. Maybe she should write a book, maybe there are other people out there who find themselves trapped in the house with a psychopath who murdered their mother, stabbed them twice, and then their kid comes to them and says they don’t want you to get upset but the psychopath in question has been abusing them for years .
Quinn actually feels like she’s losing her mind. What the fuck is going on? How did she miss this? Why didn’t she question Ethan more — why did she just brush things off? Was her mothers death in vain? Has she not learned from past mistakes? Could she have stopped it?
“Quinn, you promised not to freak out and you really look like you’re freaking out.”
Oh . Quinn didn’t realize that she’s shaking and breathing heavily until now.
“No, no, I said I would try not to freak out.” Quinn turned her head toward ethan. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want you to know-“
“But why ?”
“Why? Come on Quinn. You’re stressed out all the time, you work your ass off, you take care of me enough. It was fine” — Quinn sent a glare his way — “ I could handle it . You weren’t supposed to get involved, Richie’s just a fucking idiot. He got careless, but I didn't need saving — I don't need saving. I'm not a child anymore, Quinn.”
Quinn looked at him like he was crazy. She’s the exasperated one now. “You are a child ethan, you’re only fifteen and you’re my baby brother. He had a knife to your neck — He - he tried to fucking strangle you!”
“Did you not listen to anything i just said?! That’s nothing new. I mean what, do I have to show you?”
After he was met with pure silence, Ethan took off his shirt. Scars littered his upper body. As if that wasn’t bad enough, some were even stretching down to his thighs and toward the bottom of his legs — the latter looks like Richie tried to push the knife straight through. Every single scar was in a place that could be covered up.
She wants to wonder how she never heard anything or found blood, but she knows the answer. Richie is smart enough to know anything she saw could be blamed on the fights Ethan got into at school. He knew to attack Ethan when she’s not home. And their father is there to cover it up.
The preexisting scars paired with the bruises that are still visible around his neck and arms had Quinn forcing vomit back down her throat. This isn’t real, it can’t be. Did she die trying to get Richie off ethan? Hell of a way to die, she doesn’t completely mind, but is she in hell or something? Maybe all that sadistic shit she had going on came back to bite her in the ass and now she’s being punished. Maybe trying to save her baby brother didn’t get her through the golden gates. Disappointing, but not surprising.
There were only two times when Quinn felt like she failed ethan. The first time was a couple months after their mother died. Ethan had woken up from a nightmare and she couldn’t get him to stop crying. It didn’t matter what she did, he cried all night. Eventually, she gave up and cried with him. The logical conclusion at the time was that he had a nightmare about their mother, but now she’s not so sure. Part of her thinks it's for the best.
The second time happened when Ethan was around thirteen. Quinn hates thinking about that day. She's fought so hard to erase the images from her mind, but they’ll never fully go away. All she wanted was to go out for a few hours with her friends. It was only a few hours.
“Eth, come downstairs I got something for you!! You’ll never believe the new shit they had at the mall.”
No response.
“Dude, don’t make me walk up the stairs.”
No response.
“Ethan? Damn, you’re probably asleep.”
That’s what she wanted to believe, at least. But, once again, she could feel her heart beat faster with every step she took toward his room. Slowly, she pushed open the door.
Ethan and Emilie were always similar. He had her mannerisms, her gentle heart — despite how hard he pushes for it to be otherwise. The same laugh. The same everything, really. Yet, as Quinn sees the eyes of the boy sprawled out on the floor, she thinks he has never resembled their mother quite like he does now.
At first Quinn could only stare at the still forming puddle of blood around him, but with her mothers death in mind, Quinn knew she couldn’t let him die like this. She ran to the bathroom to find anything that would help stop the bleeding. She settled on paper towels but it quickly became apparent that she can’t put enough pressure on both arms. Although the thought scared her, because he could easily make things worse, for the first time in her life she needed Richie's help. Their father came running as well at the sound of Quinn screaming for help. She didn’t even know he was home.
Quinn tried not to cry, not in front of Ethan who, by some miracle, was still awake. But she couldn’t help it. Her arms were cramping up, Richie and her father were yelling at each other and her , and this is now the most terrified she has ever been in her life. Why did Ethan do this? It was only a few hours.
After the ambulance left, Quinn remembers sobbing for hours. She cried while washing the blood of herself, their clothes, and Ethan's floor. She cried when she went to say goodnight to Ethan only to remember he was gone. and she cried when she held that stupid rocket plushie. It was a pain different from anything she had felt before. She didn’t let him out of her sight for months after he came home from the hospital.
“I will kill him, you know. I will, some day.”
“I know, quinn.”
TWENTY/EIGHTEEN
As it turns out, Quinn did not, in fact, get to kill Richie. Someone named Samantha Carpenter had the privilege.
When Bailey broke the news that their older brother is dead, Quinn and Ethan tried their hardest to look shocked and sad. In reality, the only reason Quinn felt upset was because she didn’t get to kill the bastard herself. And Ethan was upset that he didn’t get to watch.
Bailey was always erratic, so maybe Quinn and Ethan shouldn’t have been surprised, but Richie's death pushed him to something they still never expected. Bailey wants them to kill a group of innocent people. For what — for Richie of all people? Quinn knew Bailey always favored him but what the fuck .
Never let it be said that Quinn doesn’t have any self preservation. Sure, it’s not as high as it should be but it’s still there. So Quinn agreed quickly to put Bailey at ease, while Ethan was more hesitant.
Eventually he finally fell asleep, so Quinn, naively, thought she could relax. Ethan had other plans.
He stormed into her room and she honestly hasn’t seen him look this pissed in awhile.
“What the fuck was that?!”
Quinn sat up from her bed, “ Hey , watch your tone and keep your voice down. Are you trying to wake him up?” The look Ethan gave her made her wish she could reverse time. Teenage Ethan is so moody. Given, i would be too if i was in his situation, the thought made her relax a little.
“Why would you agree to this? You hate Richie, I hate Richie. This,” he gestured toward Bailey’s room, “is insane. We can’t just kill random people because Bailey decided to have a mental breakdown.”
“Ethan, I didn't agree because I think it’s right. I agreed to calm the old man down for the night. Besides, you and I both know the idea of killing isn’t that left field. We always talked about killing Richie. You know i tried to kill him, and i would’ve done it if he hadn’t fucking stabbed me.”
“Yeah, but they didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I'll figure something out,” Quinn said, waving him off. “I won't let this get too far. I just need you to trust me.”
Ethan thought it over for a few minutes before he sighed and laid down next to her. For the first time in a long time, Quinn held Ethan in her arms again. She really needs to make this work.
Things can never go right for quinn. She did have a plan, maybe not a fool proof plan, but still. She was going to go to the old therapist Ethan had and tell her about Bailey's mental breakdown. She figured they could put him in a psych ward or something. But Bailey acted fast, he was rushing them out the door the next morning.
Ethan sent Quinn a death glare but she ignored it. Whatever, it’s fine.
Maybe Quinn should stop saying ‘it’s fine’ because it never is. Bailey went over the plan several times. She hates to admit this but she honestly started believing some of the things Bailey said about the group, even Ethan did.
Then she met Samantha — Sam . Despite what happened last year, she was welcoming. Of course she kept a distance at first, but she was never rude. Quinn was more stand-offish though. She hated it more than words could express but she couldn’t get Bailey out of her head.
For the first month and a half she was like that, but toward the end she could feel herself distancing herself from Bailey instead of Sam. It was confusing, it still is. How could a cold blooded killer be so gentle? How could she be so caring? This woman killed her brother and honestly it feels like she’s ruining their family as whole — worse than it already is.
Sometimes she’ll catch herself staring at Sam, thinking about the ways Quinn could kill her. Then Sam looks at her and smiles, and suddenly those thoughts disappear like they were never there to begin with.
MONTH THREE
Quinn wasn’t alone, one night when Tara and Sam went out Ethan came over. He looked nervous, it was incredibly off putting.
“If I told you something, would you promise not to get upset?”
“I promise to try not to get upset.”
Ethan ran his fingers through his hair and nodded.“I think I like Chad, not necessarily in a romantic way but in a ‘i don’t think i want to murder you anymore’ way.”
Quinn stays silent for a moment, but once she can tell Ethan's getting increasingly nervous she knows it’s time to say something — anything .
“I think I like sam in a ‘I don't think I want to murder you anymore’ way too.”
MONTH FOUR
“Is it level?” Sam asked, holding up the picture frame.
Quinn squinted. “Uh, yes…”
Sam whipped her head toward Quinn so fast she may as well be an owl. “Why did that sound like a question?!”
“Well I can’t tell!! And I forgot to ask Danny if we could borrow the thing that shows if it’s level.”
“If you can’t tell then it’s probably fine.” She says, setting the frame down completely on the nails.
Once Sam comes down the ladder, they step back to take a look at the picture frame on the wall. The very crooked picture frame.
“Huh,” Sam tilts her head sideways, “I guess I was wrong.”
In the frame was a picture of Sam, Quinn, Mindy, Anika, Ethan, and Chad. Anika wanted to get matching bears with Mindy, then Anika invited Ethan and Chad, who then invited Sam and Quinn. Quinn tried not to think too hard about the implications of tagging along on Mindy and Anika’s date.
“Are you guys ready to have the experience of a lifetime?!” Anika said, gesturing toward the entrance of Build-A-Bear.
Ethan tried to hold back a laugh. “Anika you are…something else.”
She smiles and wraps her arms around his neck. “Yes, but you love me.”
As dramatic as they all thought she was, it wasn’t completely terrible and vomit inducing. Sam and Quinn decided on matching axolotl’s. After what may be a ridiculous amount of time, they decided to simply say ‘i like you’ for their sound boxes. Quinn hates the warm feeling she got in her chest when she heard Sam say that. She also hates that the feeling deepened when she saw Sam trying to hide her smile.
Mindy and Anika decided on matching frogs, and for their sound they both said ‘i love you’. Then, Chad and Ethan decided on koala’s. That was painfully fitting. Their sound was ‘don’t do anything dumb’. They tried not to laugh when recording but miserably failed.
Quinn watched from a distance, she saw the way Ethan looked genuinely happy. He was giggling and leaning on Chad's shoulder — they were both all over each other. Chad looked at Ethan like he created the universe himself.
Quinn felt tears gathering in her eyes and had to look away. She can’t cry, not in front of Ethan, not in front of anyone .
“Quinn, Sam, we’re taking a group picture, get over here!!” Mindy shouted.
They took several photos, but Quinn's personal favorite is the one where they all burst out laughing. Ethan somehow fell off balance and Chad tried to catch him but he fell with him, Mindy tried to catch Chad but she fell, then Anika tried to catch Mindy, then Quinn tried to catch Anika, and no one will ever guess what happened when Sam tried to catch quinn.
So, in a pile on the floor, they laughed so hard there were tears in their eyes, and that’s when the camera’s timer went off.
“That is so off balance.” Sam said.
Quinn shrugged. “Yeah, we’ll just fix it later.”
They never did, they liked it that way.
MONTH FOUR AND A HALF
Quinn wishes she could say that the honeymoon phase lasted longer, but it didn’t. As time passed, she found herself getting increasingly frustrated.
“We should tell them.” Ethan said.
“What?”
Ethan looked over at her. “We should tell them. Not all of them, and not all at once. Just Sam and Chad, individually.”
Quinn had to fight back an eye roll. What the hell is he thinking? “Ethan, you know how that’ll end.”
“No, no Chad isn’t like that,” Ethan moves so he’s sitting in front of her. lHe’s nothing like Bailey said he is, seriously. And Sam, we’ll figure out a way for you to break it to her gently. I’ll tell Chad first, so then maybe he can help us out.”
“Okay, you have lost your fucking mind.” Quinn said, getting off her bed and walking to her desk. She actually cannot believe what she’s hearing. Maybe I’m hallucinating .
“So what, we just keep going? What happens when it’s over? We just pretend this never happened?”
“Ethan, you’re losing sight of what matters.”
Ethan fell back onto her bed, running his hands over his face. “I expected you to understand.”
“Why?”
“Why - why?!” Ethan was quick to sit back up. “Are you serious?”
“Yes! I like Sam, but I love you. We just need to get out of this alive, we can deal with the rest later.” Quinn knew they’d never ‘deal’ with it. This may destroy them, because Quinn actually does like Sam and she knows Ethan likes Chad more than he should.
“I have to at least tell Anika, you know she was never supposed to be involved. It’s not her fault she met Mindy. She’s my best friend and I love her.”
Quinn sighed and sat next to him. There was nothing but silence for a few minutes. Quinn seriously needs to think about how to respond. Nothing seems right though, she just has to be upfront with him. “The answer is no, ethan.”
Ethan looks at her with an emotion Quinn can’t place. It kind of makes her want to die.
She hates to say it, but Ethan's gotten weak. He's always been emotional, he’s always had a very big heart despite everything, it’s what Quinn’s always admired about him. But he never hesitated to fight when he needed to. So, Quinn can’t wrap her head around this.
Anika she should’ve expected, he met her when they first moved to new york and they’ve been inseparable. But Chad? She likes Chad, but not enough to let Ethan put himself in danger.
Quinn isn’t in the wrong here, seriously. It's not like she’s doing this for Richie. She’s doing it for Ethan. Once everything is over, they can move on. Why doesn’t he understand that?
MONTH FIVE
Quinn’s grown to be angry, angrier than she expected. She’s angry that she was born into this fucked up family, she’s angry that she can’t be in ethan’s life anymore, she’s angry that bailey loves richie more than his two youngest kids - so much that he’s willing to get them killed.
She’s angry that Sam is the one who killed Richie, and she’s angry that Chad is associated with her. Under different circumstances, maybe Quinn and Sam could’ve been something. Something that isn’t built on secrets. She thinks she’d be happy just existing with Sam. They'd argue about what movies to watch, who’s turn it is to cook, and the like. They could fall asleep in each other's arms without Quinn feeling guilty. They could do a lot of things.
Ethan — Ethan is something else entirely. He never showed interest in girls, but the interest he showed in boys wasn’t exactly high either. Until he met Chad. Ethan seemed to be stand-offish with Chad at first too, but Quinn thinks he came around faster than she did with Sam.
When they would all go out she’d see Ethan and Chad close together — too close. They’d look at each other like no one else is there. Chad would send pictures of Ethan or of Ethan and him to the group chat. They looked so genuinely happy.
They hardly talked because of Bailey's ‘bright’ idea to separate them. Quinn has to watch Ethan's life from afar, from pictures, and the things she overhears Anika and Mindy say.
And bailey? He may be mental but he’s noticed what’s happening between Ethan and Chad. So he’s been on Quinn's ass, saying she needs to do something about it. What can she do, anyway? She can’t just kill Chad, not now, it would be too suspicious.
And Ethan may turn on you , her brain ‘helpfully’ supplies.
Quinn is tired, she’s so fucking tired. She just wants this to be over already.
MONTH SIX
Quinn printed a smaller version of the group picture for her nightstand. She doesn’t know why she did that, she doesn’t know why she looks at it so often, and she doesn’t know why she’s crying.
She’s turned on her side looking at the picture, she’s even holding that stupid axolotl close to her. What is wrong with her? This is ridiculous, there’s no reason to cry. This is what she wanted. This is what she’s supposed to do. Her goal is to kill Samantha Carpenter. It’s simple.
It’s not.
OCTOBER THIRTIETH
“I hate this.”
“I know.”
Ethan’s in her room helping her with the makeup. He has to look away every few minutes to blink away tears. Whether it’s because of seeing her like this or what he has to do, she doesn’t know. Maybe both.
He dips his brush into the blood — the real blood. Bailey had another ‘bright’ idea.
“Use the blood from Quinn’s man of the week.”
Please, Quinn thinks. If anyone's listening, let Bailey die before us.
Ethan brought the brush back to her neck. “Do you think Anika will run?”
She so desperately wants to ask, ‘Would you run if it was chad?’. “Maybe.” She says instead.
Ethan stops at that and moves away from her.
Quinn’s patience is running thin. She has to take a deep breath to prevent herself from yelling. This is your baby brother , she reminds herself. He's just confused right now.
She moves toward him, personal space be damned. “Ethan, you can’t back out now.”
“I know.”
The screams from Anika were almost deafening, but that’s not what she’s focused on. Stupidly, she’s focused on Sam. Sam, who is staring at her in shock, tears gathering in her eyes. She went to move toward Quinn but Ethan walking further into the room stopped her. She ran off to get what Quinn assumes will be a knife — one that she’ll never find.
Wait - is he hesitating? Why the fuck is Ethan hesitating? Then, she sees Ethan looking from Anika to the door. Oh .
Part of her hoped Anika would run, too. For her brother's sake.
She didn’t.
OCTOBER THIRTY FIRST
Honestly, Quinn thinks Ethan may actually kill Bailey. She won’t lie, she wants him dead, but how would they explain the ghostface killings? Their father may be a cop but Quinn and Ethan are no experts at covering something this big up on their own.
Who would they say killed bailey? And how the fuck are they going to explain quinn faking her own death?
Yeah, we’re stuck with our decision.
Though there is still a small part of Quinn that hopes her and Ethan make it out alive. They’ll never be the same after what they have to do, sure, but maybe they can get some normalcy back. They’re both over age, they won’t have to see Bailey ever again. They can go somewhere far away, somewhere they can finally be at peace.
If Quinn said that to anyone who knows anything about ghostface, they’d call her naive. But she isn’t, she knows that no one behind the mask survives. It’s just that the hope is the only thing keeping her going.
Quinn notices the way Ethan's smile falters every so often. She sees the short glares he sends bailey. She sees the looks he sends her.
Quinn understands, to an extent, at least. She genuinely liked Sam — in a not so platonic way. She could almost say she loved her. But at some point Quinn's anger overpowered the majority of the positive feelings. With the way Sam is looking at her now, it seems like the feeling is mutual.
It doesn’t matter, Quinn has one goal. Get Ethan out of here alive .
Quinn vaguely remembers when her mother told her soon she’d have a baby brother. She was so excited. The excitement and love grew as they got older. It was hard raising Ethan, but it wasn’t his fault and if she had to do it all over again, she would. Although, if someone asked her if there’s one thing she could change, it would be the night Richie attacked Ethan when Quinn was seventeen. If she could change one thing that night, it would be what she did to Richie. She would’ve fought through the pain harder, and she would’ve killed him.
Ethan and Emilie have always been similar. For better and for worse. Their mother was strong, but her emotions killed her. The night Quinn found Ethan, she truly could’ve mistaken him for their mother. But now? Now it’s uncanny. They share the same terrified look in their eyes, the same cries of pain, the same tears, the same blood running down their bodies.
Quinn tries so hard not to cry, not while Ethan could still see her, but she can’t help it. Her arms hurt from all the movement, Ethan is crying out in pain, Sam is taunting her, and this is the loneliest she has ever felt in her life. Why did she do this? Was Ethan right? If anything had changed, could Quinn and Sam be having dinner together right now? Could Ethan and Chad be at their dorm fighting over what movie to watch?
Sam’s gun is right in front of her, and Quinn knows Bailey's right behind her. She’s grateful for that, maybe then he’ll understand what he’s done.
Yes, they chose to go along with this for the most part, but if Bailey hadn’t started this, they wouldn’t have done it. Honestly the only anger Quinn would’ve felt was that she didn’t get to kill Richie herself. Well, she would also be angry that Bailey was grieving Richie at all. So she would’ve killed someone, actually. Quinn would’ve made it slow and painful, the way Ethan, Quinn, and Emilie felt all those times.
It’s those thoughts that make her wonder why Bailey chose to ignore all the warning signs. Fine, maybe she can excuse Richie because he was always hopeless, but what about Ethan and Quinn? Were they not worth saving to him?
Quinn knows the answer.
Ethan was the closest Quinn’s ever had to a son, and she’s okay with that. Ethan was a gift, Ethan was her gift. He’s the best thing that ever happened to her. Quinn doesn't know what she believes, but maybe in another universe they’re having the time of their lives instead of being trapped in a kill box.
Sam’s gun is right in front of her, Quinn knows Bailey is right behind her, and she’s okay with that.