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“Please don’t forget me.”
Those words echoed forever inside of Luz’s head. For her, goodbyes had only meant until next time. When those words were uttered to her, it cemented in her mind that there wouldn’t be a next time. She still vividly remembers that memory, as she nearly turned back and screamed that she changed her mind and that she was going to stay.
After all, it had been over three years since Luz had left the Boiling Isles for good. For all she knew, there was never going to be a way back there. Even so, she could never forget the faces of her friends – Eda, King, Hooty, Willow, Gus, Amity, and so many more . Nothing could replace the experience that she had in the Boiling Isles. She sometimes even wonders if it was ever real. Somehow, Luz just knows deep in her gut it was all real. She could never doubt the friendships and the memories.
It’s not like Luz wasn’t glad to see her mom again. Her mom was the only person that kept her connected to the Human Realm. It might’ve also been the fact that Luz knew that her mom did love her unconditionally, despite Luz’s mishaps.
Still, Luz still feels a piece of her missing without her friends in the Boiling Isles.
“Mija, are you getting ready for your college fair?” Luz’s mom, Camila, exclaimed.
Luz took her head out of her void of thoughts and refocused on reality. She was supposed to be getting dressed for a college fair at her highschool, and so far she had only changed her shirt.
“Yes, mama, almost done!” Luz replied, throwing on a beanie and zipping up her green bomber jacket. She hurried downstairs and was met with Camila standing by the front door waiting for her. When Luz finally arrived, the two hopped together in the car and drove off to Gravesfield High.
“I cannot believe that this will be your last year. My baby is growing up so fast,” Camila said, giving Luz a loving look. “Your father would be so proud.”
Luz smiled, then slumped into her car seat.
College? So soon already? She never really thought about it, and especially not during her time in the Boiling Isles. She always wanted to be independent, but now that the time is coming, she doesn’t know if she would be able to be away from her mom. Luz didn’t have anybody else to rely on except for her mom.
Camila catches Luz’s resigned look, and reaches for her daughter’s hand.
“Look at me, mija,” Camila tells Luz. Luz shifts up and turns to her mother. Camila gives Luz’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “You will be okay. I’m always here for you, even if we’re not together.”
Camila smiles kindly at Luz, and Luz reciprocates the smile. She squeezes Camila’s hand back.
“Yeah. I know.”
▬
“If you have any more questions, feel free to look through our pamphlet here!” the college rep said, handing Luz the pamphlet for Yale University. Yeah, an ivy league school was a big stretch but it was still good to consider them, right?
A flash of lavender causes Luz to turn and utter out an excuse me before being met with unamused stares. Luz mentally slaps herself and decides to take a break.
Luz sat on a bench in the gym with a stack of papers and pamphlets in her hands. The streams of chatter surrounded her as college reps stood behind their stands trying to convince students to go to their college. Luz inspected the advertisement in her hands. Out-of-state, prestigious, cheap! The words all jumble in her head. Wasn’t there a simpler explanation for college?
Luz’s mind wanders back to the Boiling Isles. Specifically, back to a certain cotton candy-haired witch. Her new hairdo was really nice, Luz had to admit. To be fair, Luz likes everything about her. Suddenly all the memories and emotions come rushing back. Her heart almost hurts from how much she misses the one person who understood her most, Amity.
This particular occasion brings up a conversation that the two had together. Luz had asked Amity what she wanted to do in the future out of curiosity. She remembered the intimacy and the comfort. They were in Amity’s secret hideout in the library and had just finished a session of reading The Good Witch Azura .
“I… I’m not sure,” Amity had told her, rubbing her thumb over the cover of The Good Witch Azura . “At first I wanted to make my parents proud and work my way to the Emperor’s Coven. But after meeting you, I realized that I should focus on what I want to do… which I’m still figuring out.”
Amity faced Luz. “For now I just want to achieve the little things first, like having a sleepover, talking about Azura, and maybe… visit the Human Realm?” Amity said, the tone of her voice raising at the end, sounding more like a question rather than a statement. She remembers Amity’s expression, her eyebrows raised and her eyes hesitant but hopeful.
Luz wonders if Amity had felt the way about her like how Luz did. Luz never really figured it out until after leaving the Boiling Isles, but her heart was always open for Amity. All she knew at the time was that she would go to the ends of the Human and the Demon Realm for Amity.
Luz took Amity by the hand and gave her a firm look. “We will. We definitely will! I’ll take you there someday, I promise.”
Suddenly, a finger taps her on the shoulder. Luz jumps up from her daydream and her stack of papers and pamphlets drops out of her lap. She glances up at the person who interrupted her thoughts. Well, it was just the janitor.
“Sorry buddy, but the college fair has been long over. We’re closing the school now, do you wanna call your parents?” the janitor asked, picking up the dropped papers and pamphlets.
“Yeah… yeah,” Luz replied groggily, gathering and reassembling the dropped papers and pamphlets.
Afterwards, she phoned her mom but she happens to be working overtime tonight. Luz decides to walk home. It wasn’t quite dark yet, and it’s not like the town is all that big.
The leaves on the trees were beginning to change colors, to red, orange, and yellow. It was beautiful, as if they were trying to create a forest of fire. The air was chilly, but the wind was weak today.
A glop sound was made at the bottom of Luz’s shoe, and she glanced at the concrete to find purple goo stuck to her shoe. Who in their right mind would make purple slime and throw it out on the sidewalk? It was like gum, but a little stickier as it stuck to the concrete and onto Luz’s shoe. She seriously had to pull herself out of that one, as she struggled a bit to get out but eventually succeeded. Fortunately, the purple goo didn’t stick to her shoe, and she walked away from it, not thinking much about it except for wishing that whoever put it there would accidentally trip.
When Luz finally reached her house, she immediately went to her room and took out her sketching notebook. She was full of inspiration, and it definitely wasn’t because of a certain cotton candy-haired witch. Luz opened her notebook to find a blank page, flipping through the various sketches of Amity that she had already made before. She began sketching, her pencil moving across the paper as she tried hard to remember Amity. She could never forget her, but it had been a long time and it wasn’t possible to remember everything down from head to toe. Still, something about her sharp eyeliner, soft nose, and bright golden eyes made it hard for Luz to forget.
She composed many more sketches of Amity before moving onto drawing glyphs. It was just as hard for Luz to forget glyphs as it had for her to forget Amity. It was the one thing that made her different, and it allowed her to be special. She had been told that she could never be a witch, yet these glyphs made it possible for her to do magic. When she had returned back to the Human Realm, she had sort of reverted back to just being one of the crowd. She just wanted to be someone again, and glyphs had enabled that for her. Well, also magic is pretty cool and it would be awesome if she could just do a little spell to clean her room or something at least. Without the glyphs, the light in Luz died a little.
It wasn’t long before night arrived, and Luz had knocked out on top of a sketch of Amity. Even if everything had just been a dream, it changed her life, and she was never going to let go of it.
▬
“Well, Luz has pretty average grades… she could definitely make it into a good college,” her counselor rambled to the Nocedas, scrolling through Luz’s files on her computer. “She is clearly very into the arts. I think she would do very well if she applied to a college seeking to major in the arts.”
Camila sighed. “See… I just think that money could be a big issue for us. Are there any recommendations that you have for Luz?”
The counselor tapped her fingers on the table. “I think many of our seniors are looking to apply to the University of Connecticut. There’s not much in Gravesfield after all, and if your daughter is into city life, I would recommend that to her. If money’s a problem, you can always look into the resources that both we and the college offer you.”
“Well, would you like that, mija?” Camila asked Luz, resting her hand on Luz’s lap.
Luz, despite being the main topic of the conversation but not expecting to be a part of it, glances uncertainly from her mom to the counselor.
“Could you give her a bit of time to think about it?” Camila asked after seeing Luz’s reaction, now patting her lap reassuringly.
The counselor lets them out, and the Nocedas thank her politely before leaving the office.
“Luz, I know this is all really hard for you. I completely understand, I was once like that too. College is a big step, and you’re going to be out there without me. I’m sad too, and I really wish we could always just be together. I just think that this would be really good for you, and if you choose to do something you love, it might even be really fun,” Camila started. “Still, whatever you choose to do, I’ll always love and be proud of you.”
Even if I chose to stay in the Boiling Isles? Luz thought, but she kept it to herself and instead hung her head low. She didn’t reply to Camila and only gave her a curt nod.
This wasn’t something that could be avoided though. And it’s not that Luz doesn’t want to go to college and live the city life and do all the things she loves but there’s just something preventing her from being happy in doing so and she already knows what it is. Not only is Luz worried about her mother and their financial situation because she knows how much her mom has sacrificed to keep her here and she doesn’t want to be a burden for her mom, but she also knows that it’s because of the magical out-of-the-realm experience that she had that she just can’t let go of. It feels like going away from Gravesfield means letting go of the Boiling Isles, and she just can’t. It’s too difficult, too painful, to just leave and have to pretend that it never happened. Her friends deserve better than that.
But when faced with reality, maybe she does have to choose to go. Who would believe her if she told them that she had made magical friends, trained to become a witch, and could do magic? Even she’s beginning to doubt herself at this point. She just wished that she wasn’t stuck to still being a child with imagination and wonder. Luz still believes in it, and she even knows that it’s real, but she’s growing up now. She’s moved on, and maybe her friends have too, and it’s not like there’s a way to contact them now.
She laid resignedly in her head, staring at the ceiling. It eats her up every night when she thinks about them, which is every night. Luz is glad that at least they’re all together, even if it means that she’s all alone. Her burning eyes threatening to spill out tears respond to the suffocating feeling in her heart.
Luz gets up from bed and stares at an application to the University of Connecticut on her desk that her mom had gotten for her.
One last time , Luz decided. Just one last time to relive all the memories, then she would finally move on.
And so Luz slipped on her usual beanie and a coat. She put on her worn out sneakers and sneaked out the door. Her mom had been out on an overnight shift anyway. Luz absorbed the soft crunches beneath her feet as she walked through the grass. She followed a road to an isolated area next to the woods. This was the place that was supposed to take her to summer camp, the beginning of it all.
Unlike before though, she wasn’t as fearful. She freely strolled through the woods, admiring the way the moonlight shone on the trees that gave them back their color. Her heart beat slightly faster as she approached the abandoned cabin that connected two realms. It wasn’t all that special on the outside, it even looked haunting.
Wait… what was that noise? Luz took a deep breath before panicking and doing something impulsive. Yes witches existed, but ghosts definitely do not… or do they?! She didn’t want to assume, so she squatted in the bushes and tried to listen closely.
She could hear short breaths, sniffles, and hiccups. It was safe to say that someone probably was letting it all out at the cabin. Now Luz was unsure whether she should still enter the cabin, as she didn’t want to interrupt them. Though perhaps they needed someone, and Luz was more than willing to be a person of comfort. She decided to still go, not afraid anymore but rather worried.
Luz tried not to be loud, but her footsteps echoed on the wooden steps and the creaking didn’t help her case.
She heard shuffling from within the cabin.
“Don’t worry, I just–”
“Who’s there?!” the voice from inside shouted, hostile.
“I came here to blow off some steam, and I heard you and I just wanted to–”
“Stay there, don’t come any closer,” the voice demanded.
Luz bit her lip nervously. She didn’t know if she was making herself an easy victim to murder by standing still, but she didn’t want to ruffle the other person’s feathers any more than she already had.
“Alright, alright. I won’t do anything, I promise. I’ll just… sit here… and wait… while you do whatever it is you do…,” Luz complied, sitting down on the wooden steps.
The shuffling from inside the cabin resumed, and Luz could hear small footsteps circling, as if the other person was wondering what to do. She could only hope that the other person wasn’t wondering how to murder her and hide her body.
“Listen, I didn’t mean to startle you. I just wanted to see if you were okay,” Luz said, attempting to calm the other person down.
The other person stopped moving, and let out a reluctant sigh before questioning, “Where am I? What is this place?”
Luz rubbed her chin, confused but would never deny someone help. “Well, there’s a lot to say. I mean, this is just an abandoned cabin in the woods. It’s not far from the town, which I could take you to if you got lost.”
Luz could hear the other person tapping their foot, clearly frustrated. “This… town. What is it called? Who lives there? Is it safe?”
“The town? It’s called Gravesfield. It’s not that big, and there’s not that many people who live there. I mean, I live there with my mom, and there’s other people there too… it’s kinda hard to explain. And I guess it’s pretty safe since nothing really happens and everybody knows each other so…,” Luz rambles, trying to answer the mysterious person’s questions in depth but she knows she’s probably failing in that department.
It was now eerily silent as the other person didn’t bother replying. Luz wondered if maybe they had escaped while successfully distracting Luz, but that theory was immediately debunked when she heard painful groaning from inside.
“Are you okay? I swear I won’t do anything to you, and I know you don’t know me so you have no reason to trust me but I seriously just want to help you,” Luz said, implementing the soothing tone that her mother uses whenever she talks to patients on the other person. “Can I come in? Please?”
All that could be heard from the other person was their breathing.
Then, the door slightly cracked open, a short but loud creak ringing through Luz’s ears. Luz uttered a thank you and excuse me before entering the cabin.
Then, everything came rushing back.
Faded lavender hair, bright golden eyes that were so easy to get lost in, the incredibly sharp eyeliner. They were traits that only one person could have, someone that she never thought she’d ever see again.
“Amity?” Luz croaked out, convinced that her eyes were deceiving her.
Suddenly, the other person became hostile again. “Who are you?! How do you know me?! Don’t come any closer! I knew I was a fool to trust some random stranger! You’re probably from the resistance aren’t you?! Just take me and hold me hostage,” she exclaimed, tears rolling down her cheeks but her expression remained sharp.
“No!” Luz immediately denied, her hands close to her before trying to reach out to Amity. She knew it couldn’t be Amity but it’s getting harder to say that when the pointy ears are giving it away that this person is definitely not from this realm.
“I don’t know what’s going on, but don’t you remember me? It’s Luz! Luz the Human? I used to stay in the Owl House, and we used to read The Good Witch Azura together in your secret hideout after school?” Luz said, raising her voice a bit in desperation.
Amity was a bit startled by the tone of Luz’s voice and she seemed to soften a bit after hearing The Good Witch Azura but remained bewildered.
Luz could feel her heart hammering in her chest, but now it was because of desperation, confusion, and love (that the other person didn’t seem to reciprocate).
Luz took a few deep breaths before refocusing on the situation at hand. Amity was clutching her abdomen and her clothes were ripped and stained with blood. Her face was scratched up and bruised and she seemed to have a sprained ankle as well.
“Oh my god…,” Luz muttered, horrified at the sight of Amity being so terribly wounded. “Listen, I’ll explain everything later. Please just let me help you for now. My mom’s a doctor and she’s probably not even home yet so I’ll take you back to my house to patch you up, okay?”
Amity’s labored breathing was her response to Luz, and Luz kneeled down to Amity.
“Can you stand up?” Luz asked as she slowly helped Amity up from the ground, cautious of her abdomen wound. Amity struggled to get up, shouting in pain once she tried to stand. She whined in pain, and Luz immediately tried to calm her down. Then, Luz decided to bridal carry Amity, seeing as she wasn’t able to get up.
Luz made sure that Amity wouldn’t reopen any of her wounds nor harm herself any more than she already is along the way back to Luz’s house. Her painful grunts already told Luz a lot about her current state, and she wondered about why Amity was so beat up. It hurts to see someone so dear to her in so much pain, and she just wants to hold Amity and tell her that everything’s going to be alright.
She constantly whispered reassurances to Amity as they slowly made their way back to Luz’s house. Eventually they reach the outside of Luz’s house, and she hurriedly opens the lock to her door. Once they were inside, Luz carefully lays Amity on the couch and tells her that she’ll be right back. She rushes to find the first aid kit in the bathroom and back to Amity, who is still struggling to breathe.
Luz immediately rests her hand politely but reassuringly on Amity’s arm. “Breathe in and out slowly. You got this, Ams. Take your time.”
Amity follows Luz’s instructions, breathing in and out slowly. Her breathing begins to steady, and she slightly opens her eyes, finding herself more at ease though still greatly in pain.
Luz hands Amity a cup of water, wanting to hydrate her as the other girl seemed like she hadn’t gotten a meal in days. Then she immediately moves on to her abdomen wound. When she got Amity to raise her hand from the wound, she was immediately met with a fresh nasty gash. She wasted no time in stopping the bleeding, cleaning the wound, then wrapping it with a bandage. After she had gotten the most alarming wound out of the way, she then focused on Amity’s sprained ankle by wrapping the bandage around her ankle to refrain it from movement and placed an ice pack over it.
Once she finished, she sat on the ground by the couch, letting out a breath that she didn’t even know that she was holding. She glanced up at Amity who seemed much better than she had an hour or two ago. Her eyes were drooping, but she mumbled a thank you before leaning her head over to the pillow and knocking out.
Luz smiled. Being able to take care of Amity lifted some weight off her shoulders, and now she just wants Amity to recover quickly so that she wouldn’t have to be in pain any longer.
Luz decides to move Amity into her room, not wanting her mom to be skeptical of Amity (and also of Luz since she had brought an unknown girl home).
Finally, as Luz sets Amity down on her bed and lays down on the futon that she laid out, she’s able to let her eyes rest.
It had been a long day, and Luz only wanted to rest and let the sleep take over.
▬
When Luz woke up, she immediately looked to her bed and found herself sighing in relief to find Amity still sleeping. It felt relieving to know that everything hadn’t just been a dream, and that Amity was really here.
Luz got up and snuck a glance at Amity, finding her sleeping face peaceful and cute (god, she really was down bad).
Luckily, it had been a weekend (wow, how convenient is that) and Luz was able to take time to process everything.
She had run into Amity Blight, of all people. A little over three years ago she said her final goodbye to her, and she was beginning to accept the fate of never seeing her ever again. But here she is, in the flesh, sleeping on Luz’s bed! Yup, this was totally normal.
After washing up in the bathroom, Luz immediately went to gather clothes for Amity to change into. Her current clothes seemed too… soldier-like? Not to mention how dirty they are anyway.
She hears shuffling from her head, and turns to see Amity peeking out of her blankets.
Amity’s eyes widen, and she immediately gets out of Luz’s bed. However, a flash of pain hits her as she groans, clutching her abdomen. Luz rushes to her, her hand on top of Amity’s as she immediately holds her but still leaves space for Amity to pull away if she wanted to.
“Don’t move so much. Wouldn’t want to reopen your wounds,” Luz said, checking Amity’s current state worriedly.
“I’m fine,” Amity replied, uncomfortable with all the touching but not rejecting it.
Luz chuckled. “Here, I got some clothes for you to change into. Your clothes right now seem… less than ideal, I guess. I think we should give it a few days before showering though. I wouldn’t want your wound to get any worse than it already is.”
Amity stares at the clothes that Luz had gathered, reluctantly accepting them.
Before Luz could leave to get breakfast for both her and Amity, Amity reminded Luz, “You still have to tell me everything.”
Luz grins at Amity and nods. “Of course I will! I’ll be right back with some food and then we can talk!”
After Luz returns with bacon and eggs (typical breakfast) and hands a plate to Amity, who had changed out of her old clothes, the two sit down together in silence.
“Try some, I think you might like it,” Luz encouraged, a string of bacon already in her mouth.
Amity carefully inspects the bacon and pokes the egg with her fork. She observes Luz eating it with no worries, and so she follows suit. Immediately, the taste makes her squeal, but she immediately stops when she sees Luz’s smug expression.
“It’s… alright,” Amity comments, crunching on the bacon.
Then, she shifts on the ground, contemplating.
“First… how do you know me?” Amity inquires, staring at her plate of food.
Luz finishes her plate of food and finally clears her mind to remain serious and transparent with Amity.
“Do you… really not remember?” Luz asks as she receives her answer from Amity’s uneasy expression. She sighs. “I… I understand if you don’t remember me, honestly. I mean, I wasn’t that big of a factor in your life anyway. I was just there for like, what, three months? I stumbled into the Demon Realm and was staying with Eda for that time. We met each other at school, and we started off on the wrong foot but eventually we began to become really good friends… I think.”
Amity rubbed her chin. “You said you were in the Demon Realm? How did you even find a way to our realm and back?”
“I don’t really know everything. I just know that Eda somehow had a portal to the Human Realm and I accidentally entered it one time. Eventually Eda let me go back through the portal to return home before things got really bad.”
“Really bad?” Amity questioned.
Luz fiddled with her fingers. “Yeah. Her sister was constantly chasing her down, and the Emperor was beginning to enforce stricter laws on the Boiling Isles. Tensions were high, and she didn’t want me to get caught up in something that didn’t involve me, I guess.”
Amity gripped the blanket. She seemed uncomfortable with the mention of the Emperor, but she didn’t let it show easily.
“... Lastly, where am I?” Amity asked.
“I told you before, you’re in a town called Gravesfield. It’s in the Human Realm, so everybody here has round ears like I do. And we don’t have magic here,” Luz replied, rubbing her round ears to show to Amity.
Amity looked, but stayed quiet.
She really wasn’t much of a conversationalist, and seemed much different from what Luz remembered. Luz wasn’t much of a reliable narrator herself, but she knew that Amity had been much more free back then. Now, she seems small and afraid, as if every little thing she does will get her reprimanded.
“I’m sorry…,” she eventually lets out. “I’m sorry… I don’t know why, but I just can’t seem to remember you. I’m sure I would remember a human in the Demon Realm, but I can’t remember.”
She peeks at Luz with an apologetic expression, as if she was going to get punished for not remembering.
Luz would never do anything of the sort. Instead, she envelops Amity in a hug, her arms wrapping around Amity snugly and her warmth spreading to Amity.
“It’s okay,” Luz tells Amity. It hurts. It hurts a lot. It hurts knowing that Luz didn’t leave a long-lasting impression on Amity. It hurts knowing that Amity couldn’t remember all the moments and feelings they shared together. It hurts seeing Amity in pain and so scared. It hurts to see Amity apologizing for something that’s not her fault. She could never hate Amity for anything even if she tried to. She wants to tell Amity that it doesn’t matter if she doesn’t remember because all that matters is that she’s here, with Luz. It is okay, because Luz can finally say that everything was real and that Amity isn’t just a dream. Even if Luz is a nobody to Amity, it’s okay because to Luz, Amity is everything.
Suddenly, breathing is a lot harder. The tightening feeling in her chest threatens to suffocate her as tears burn down her cheeks. She wants to tell Amity so many things, but all that comes out are sobs and unintelligible sounds. Right now all she can do is show Amity how much she meant to her.
She can feel Amity’s arms wrapping around her as well, and her hand patting her back. She can see Amity’s faded lavender hair and her black, triangular stud earrings. She can hear Amity’s breathing and her awkward reassurances. She can smell Amity’s sweaty scent that tells her that she’s been through a lot. She can taste the saltiness of her tears and her own sweat mixing in with her tears.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Amity chants softly.
Luz breathes in and out. She calms down now, feeling tired but being able to breathe much better now.
“It’s okay,” Luz says, her voice firm. She finally separates from Amity to find Amity crying herself. Oh, she even makes crying look beautiful. The tears glisten on her pale cheeks and her golden eyes sparkle in the sunlight.
Luz cups her hands on Amity’s cheek and wipes her tears away with her thumbs. “It’s okay, please don’t cry. You don’t have to feel pressured to try and remember. Don’t apologize for something that’s not your fault.”
Right then and there, Luz’s eyes flicker down to Amity’s lips. Her lips were chapped and a bit dry, but Luz didn’t care. She loved Amity for everything that she was, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. She had the urge to capture Amity’s lips, but she knew that wouldn’t be fair to Amity. She didn’t want to project her own feelings onto Amity who she knew didn’t feel the same way.
Luz sits down, letting herself be a pillar for Amity. The two girls sit together in silence, worn out from their emotions. This time around, the silence is comfortable, and everything just feels so right.
Then, Amity breaks the silence. “Tell me,” she croaked, her voice soft and tired. “Tell me what she was like. The Amity that you knew.”
Luz gripped her arm. “You were everything to me. You still are, but I don’t want to force that on to you. I was pretty silly, too much into my fantasies to really see you for who you really were. When I finally looked at you, you were so much more than I could ever ask for. You were my best friend, and nobody could ever replace that. You helped me become a better person, and ever since I came back here, that’s all I ever wanted to tell you.”
Luz looked up at Amity. “You make me a better person. Ever since I left, it feels like a piece of me has been ripped out, and now that you’re really here, I feel whole again. I don’t know what happened in the Demon Realm while I was gone, but I want to help you just as you helped me. I don’t want to see you hurt, and I want to always be there for you.”
Amity’s eyes look down, but Luz once again cups Amity’s cheek. The touch startles Amity, but Luz makes sure that Amity would always be able to pull away whenever.
“I know you don’t know me, and this all feels like a lot. Just know that I want to help you. Let me help you, please?”
Luz’s heart is laid out in front of Amity, cut open with a weak heartbeat, on the verge of death. When Amity gives her a small nod, Luz’s heart is immediately stitched back together by pale hands.
“Thank you. Thank you so much,” Luz said, smiling in relief. “I know you probably want to get back home. I swear I’ll get you back home.”
She could feel Amity stiffen at the mention of home. She wanted to hold Amity and tell her that she is more than willing to be home for Amity. After all, here in Amity’s arms is what Luz could call home.
▬
“I know that you probably spend most of your time in the library, but I still think it’d be cool to show you around!”
Luz excitedly takes Amity by the hand and to the library. They enter, and immediately are hushed by the librarian, who happens to be an old lady today rather than the usual cool teenage goth that Luz enjoys talking to from time to time.
“Do you still like The Good Witch Azura ? God, I took you here while assuming so even though you might’ve grown out of it.”
“Yeah. I– I do. Don’t worry,” Amity replied, giving her a shy smile.
Back then, Amity had only been a tiny bit taller than Luz, but now she was pretty much towering over Luz by a few inches. Her hair had also gotten longer, reaching her shoulders. Even so, she was still so incredibly cute that all Luz wanted to do was stuff her in her pocket.
Luz blushed, chuckling nervously. Don’t make a fool out of yourself in front of the girl that you like!
Luz takes the duo to the fantasy section, which shows the completed series for The Good Witch Azura .
“I don’t know if all the books are available in the Demon Realm, and you’ve probably already read them if they are, but–”
“No way…,” Amity interrupts Luz’s rambling, letting her hands run over the cover of the books on the shelves. She’s in awe, almost as if–
“All the books had been banned in the Demon Realm for years. After the Emperor began enforcing stricter laws on the Boiling Isles, burning all fictional books from libraries was part of his change in rule on the Boiling Isles,” Amity told Luz, picking up one of the books and skimming through the pages.
“This is amazing. Thank you, Luz,” Amity said shyly. “Is it okay if I…?” She referred to the books and then opened her book to signify what she wanted to ask.
Luz took a moment, but eventually realized what Amity was trying to ask. “Yeah! Totally! I can go and check it out for you, then we can read it together at home. I also have most of the books at home as well, so you’re free to read it for… as long as you’re here.”
Together, the two of them walk over towards the desk to check it out, but Luz is greeted by the sight of a preppy girl. Luz didn’t know that the teenage goth was replaced by her .
Luz sucks in her breath, preparing herself for her next interaction. “Hey, Shelby. Could I, uh, check out this book?”
The girl, Shelby, looks up from her phone, and glances at Luz then at Amity. “Oh, I see you’ve finally gotten yourself a girlfriend. I’m surprised she went for you, she seems out of your league. I hope you’ve told her about the stupid shit you’ve done at school.”
Luz looks at Amity, worried about what she would think. “That’s none of your business. Can you please just check out the book?”
Luz hands Shelby The Good Witch Azura , wanting to get it over with. Shelby takes the book and inspects it.
“You still read these childish books? Seriously? Even though your mom sent you to summer camp and everything to help you grow up ended up just wasting her money. Not like she had any, anyway,” Shelby commented, checking out the book.
At this point, Luz could care less about what Shelby says and just wants to get out of here with Amity.
Once Shelby finally finishes checking the book out (which takes forever and Luz is just sure that Shelby wanted to keep torturing Luz), Luz quickly snatches the book from Shelby.
“Thank you,” Luz manages to let out through gritted teeth.
She takes Amity by the hand, and she sees Amity draw a circle in the air. Then, she realizes exactly what Amity is trying to do. Suddenly, purple goo spits out from the wall and onto Shelby, who screams in terror (more because her look is ruined) which gains looks from other folks in the library. The manager emerges to scold Shelby, and Luz and Amity leave the library, giggling.
▬
“So, how was everything after I left? Well, I guess you don’t remember that so… I mean– I just wanna know how you’ve been.”
The next day, Luz takes Amity out to a café. When Luz had asked Amity to look at what she wanted to order, Amity had stared at the menu for a solid ten minutes before finally asking Luz what she could buy.
After both of their orders arrived, Luz invited Amity to sit down at a table near the window. Luz only wanted to because Amity’s golden eyes sparkle prettily in the sunlight.
She noticed Amity’s lack of response. Amity only sipped on her drink, her mind trying to craft an answer but she can’t seem to find a satisfactory answer.
“It’s okay if nothing’s really changed. I’m always amazed by everything you do, whatever it is,” Luz reassures Amity, observing her hesitant behavior
Amity gives Luz a small smile. “I know. It’s just… I’m afraid that a lot has changed. I don’t think that I’m the same person that you once knew. After the Emperor began terrorizing the Boiling Isles, I’ve done a lot of things that I regret and…,” Amity starts, but can’t seem to finish her sentence as she hesitates.
“I just don’t want to disappoint you,” Amity finishes quietly, playing with her straw.
Luz’s heart throbs. You could never disappoint me .
“You’re not a disappointment. Seriously, Ams. You’re so strong, like you can control those abominations like it’s nothing and do all sorts of cool stuff! Even if you’re hurt and scared, you still manage to stay strong. You’re admirable, really,” Luz said, hoping to diminish Amity’s insecurities.
Amity shrugs. “Nobody has ever told me that before. I just can’t see myself that way, and all my life nobody else seemed to see myself that way either.”
“You’re incredible, Amity. And if nobody has ever told you this before, then let me be the first to tell you. I wish they could see you for who you really are because you’re truly amazing. I want you to know that,” Luz told her, reaching for her hand to show that she genuinely means it.
Amity looks up, and somehow time feels like it’s stopped when her sparkling golden eyes make direct eye contact with Luz’s dark brown eyes. Luz feels like she’s helplessly drowning in a pool of honey, and honestly she doesn’t mind.
“Well, if it isn’t Luz Noceda,” a squeaky voice interrupts.
Luz pries her eyes away from Amity’s and onto the culprit of their tender moment. Why does everybody always find a way to interrupt them?
“Oh. Connor,” Luz said dully.
“Glad to see me, eh? And who’s this chick? Your girlfriend?” he questions mockingly, his buddies behind him chuckling as well but Luz could see their eyes checking Amity out. She feels sick.
“Please. What do you want?” Luz inquired, annoyed and running out of patience.
“Don’t fucking use that tone with me!” Connor shouted, knocking over Luz’s drink, causing it to fall onto her clothes as the glass makes contact with the floor and breaks into shards.
Well shit.
“I bet you your girlfriend’s just playing you anyway. Seriously, how do you hang out with this weirdo?” Connor said, turning to Amity.
Luz could see Amity clench her fists, and begins to panic. “Amity, it’s fine. They always do this–”
And before she could stop it, Connor and his buddies are already on the ground, bloody and bruised.
▬
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m–”
“It’s okay.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry–”
“It’s okay, Amity, really.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m–”
“Amity!”
Amity finally snaps out of it, startled at Luz raising her voice. Luz could see her fearful eyes. She’s afraid of punishment, disappointment, and most importantly, losing Luz.
“It’s okay . I don’t hate you. Actually, I really thank you for that, even though we got in trouble. They seriously deserved that,” Luz comforted, her hands resting on Amity’s shoulders.
“But… I hurt them. And I know you don’t like violence. I just… the way they were talking about you, then to me, and something inside me just–”
“Hey, hey,” Luz squeezed Amity’s shoulders in reassurance. “I get it. Normally I would say that violence isn’t the answer but they really deserved a beating. I know you were just doing it to protect me, and because they treated you like… an object. I’m glad you stood up for us. But still, not everybody’s like them, and you should slow down before acting, okay?”
Amity exhales in relief, and nods.
Luz loses against her urge to hold Amity, and so she wraps her arms around Amity as the two arrive home.
Luz’s mom is working overnight again, even on weekends. Sometimes she wonders how she ever survived like this, staying home alone and having to take care of herself. She understands, but she still feels lonely.
Though Amity’s presence makes her feel less of that.
“Luz, I can’t,” Amity suddenly says before entering Luz’s house.
Luz glances at Amity. Amity’s eyes gaze downwards to avoid Luz’s. Amity’s grip on Luz loosens, and she slips away from Luz’s arms. Cold and empty, Luz waits for Amity’s explanation, but there is none.
“Why?” Luz questions, her thoughts racing. Was it something she’d done? Was it something she said? Does Amity not want to be here anymore? Did she find a way back home? Is it finally time to let go?
Amity doesn’t answer, her hand rubbing her other arm. She still avoids eye contact with Luz, and instead stands isolated, not wanting to leave but also knowing that she can’t stay.
The moon shines its light on Amity, and god , she’s still just as beautiful as the day Luz had left. Even when she’s sad, she makes everything seem beautiful and poetic. Luz wants to cup her face and kiss her all over and tell her that everything’s alright. Even if it means being selfish, Luz wants to shower Amity with all the love that she deserves.
“Please, Amity. Why?” Luz pleads. She needs to know why. She needs to know why Amity is slipping away from her again, even though this time she has the choice to hold her.
“I want to stay, I really do,” Amity whispers.
“Then stay . For now. Please. I know I can’t keep you forever but–”
“That’s the thing! I’m scared of it, these new feelings. I don’t want to go. I want to stay , and not just temporarily but forever . Even though there’s so much chaos in the Demon Realm, even though I know that I’m needed, even though I know that nobody wants me here, I still want to stay.”
Amity pulls her hair, not hard enough to truly hurt her but hard enough for her to feel something.
“I don’t know what it is, but everything you say and do makes me feel loved and cared for , like I actually matter. All my life I’ve been told that I don’t have a choice and that I’m useless if I don’t obey. You don’t tell me that – you let me have a choice and you make me feel like I’m everything even if I don’t do anything. It’s scary because I know that you used to know me, and I know that I can’t be the one. I desperately want to go back to the person I once was, for you , but I can’t . I’ve changed too much, and for the worse. If you knew what I’d done back in the Demon Realm, you’d hate me.”
Luz’s hand reaches for Amity, but it feels futile.
“I feel so terrible not remembering you. I just want to go back to the person you once knew. You cared for her so much, and sometimes I feel jealous of her. That Amity you once knew, she was probably better than I ever was. When you were telling me about Eda, it hurt me to hear how much you cared about her because I’ve done so much wrong against the Owl Lady. You saw how I acted against that guy earlier, I nearly would’ve killed him if you hadn’t been watching. You deserve someone better , because I’m so– so broken .”
“You probably don’t even want me to stay anymore after this. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I ruined everything, but I can’t . I don’t want to pretend when I’m with you, Luz. You deserve better than that.”
It hurts, it hurts so much. And suddenly everything comes rushing back. All the small moments, all the big moments, all the moments that were on the verge of fading away but Luz desperately tried keeping them alive. A fire that had been long dead but Luz kept trying to rekindle it. Luz who had been stuck in a drought for so long that she’s hallucinating water at this point. The lingering touch of Amity’s hand, the longful look in Amity’s eyes, the cracks in Amity’s voice whenever she asked Luz about going back home.
“Goodbye, Luz,” Amity told Luz, holding Luz in her arms longer than Luz had expected, but she wasn’t complaining.
Her bright lavender hair, her perpetually holden eyes, her slightly shorter stature.
“You don’t have to forget, but you have to let go,” Amity told her. “I’ll always be in here, but she’s not going to be here forever. Please, don’t let her go.”
Somehow, Luz finds her way over to Amity and tells her to stay with a hug. Luz’s arms intertwine with each other as they hold Amity so tightly, wanting to make all of Amity’s problems disappear. Amity sobs into Luz’s chest, not even fighting to break out of Luz’s arms. Amity has always been the most real presence in her life, and Luz isn’t going to let go of her here and now.
A tender look from Amity begs Luz to comfort her and tell her that everything’s going to be okay.
Luz responds with a kiss.
Fireworks don’t explode in the background and there’s no climactic music playing in the background, but none of that matters to Luz.
The feeling of Amity’s lips on hers makes her feel complete, and she wants to communicate all her love to the other girl. There’s so much to say, but it’s all cramped at the back of Luz’s mind as she’s intent on making Amity understand that she wants the same thing that Amity does.
Finally, the two part, and Amity gasps. She pants softly, every part of her feeling like it’s burning.
Her eyes are full of want and uncertainty.
Of course, Amity’s always unsure. Luz’s actions show her that she also wants, but she doesn’t feel completely at ease without her words.
Luz delivers.
“You don’t need to be someone else for me to love you unconditionally. You’ll always be Amity to me, and no matter how much you change, my heart will always call for you. I don’t want to be with any other person other than you. I want to hold the weight on your shoulders, I want to support you through your hardships, I want to understand you and be with you. Please, let me into your heart.”
“I will. I will, Luz. Forever and always,” Amity said, her voice muffled as she buried her face in Luz’s shoulder.
They hold each other like it’s the end of the world. For them, it is. All the time that they’ve spent apart felt hollow. At one point, nothing else felt real anymore. Here in each other’s arms, they’ve finally found something worth living for.
Amidst all the chaos, they found each other. For now, that’s all that matters.