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It was his manager softly shaking his shoulder that woke Seonghwa up that morning; not a highly unusual occurrence, but he was sure he had set his alarm the night before. He was, of course, one of the early group to get makeup and hair done that day because once again, the ladder game they always played never seemed to be on his side.
“Seonghwa, are you up?” His manager asked with another nudge. “I heard your alarm going off twenty minutes ago from the next room over. Didn’t you hear it?”
Seonghwa growned, peeling his cheek from his pillow while trying to open his eyes. He quickly realized why he had overslept, his head feeling fuzzy and warm, bangs sticking to his sweaty forehead. It was a struggle to roll over to face his manager.
“Huh,” he croaked, throat feeling scratchy and hoarse.
“Are you sick?”
A gentle hand met his forehead, staying there for a moment to gauge his temperature before Seonghwa had the chance to confirm that he indeed felt rather awful.
Even still, he pushed himself up into a sitting position as his manager pulled away, already walking towards his bathroom to presumably get him some water for his irritated throat. His muscles ached when he swung his feet onto the floor and a shiver passed through him.
“What are you doing?” His manager asked, returning with a glass. “Get back in bed. You probably caught what Mingi had last week.”
Seonghwa cleared his throat as best he could. “But I have to get ready for Kcon. It’s the last day,” he protested. “Once I get up and moving, I’ll be fine. I’ll ask Mingi for some of the meds he brought.”
“Seonghwa..”
“Seriously. I’ll be fine. And Wooyoungie is already out, I don’t want to disappoint the fans even more by not being there either.”
His manager gave him a discerning look but didn’t push back, instead telling him to wear some extra layers just in case and that he’d go ask Mingi himself for his cold medication. Seonghwa took that as a win and did as he was told, putting on his favourite track pants and making sure to bring his hoodie with him too. His face in the hotel mirror did look a little dull and pale, but it was nothing a little makeup couldn’t fix. After brushing his teeth and trying to tame his bed hair, he trudged back out of his room and down the hall to where their makeup artist had set up her makeup station in her own room.
Yunho was already there, finally being one of the unlucky ones for a change and joining the early wake up call. He wished Seonghwa a good morning as he was scrolling through his phone while their makeup noona was applying moisturizer to his face.
“Did you sleep well?” Yunho asked cheerily, only now glancing up. His voice fell upon seeing the elder. “Oh hyung…”
“M’okay,” Seonghwa mumbled, trying to minimize how much he had to speak. “Think I got what Mingi had.”
“Will you be okay? I’m sure they’ll let you sit out if you need to,” Yunho reassured.
“I’ll be fine,” Seonghwa replied simply, swallowing around the building soreness in his throat.
Their makeup noona paused her work on Yunho and dug through her bag, taking out a box of tea bags and heading to the kettle on the desk. She poured a mug and dunked the bag in, bringing it back for Seonghwa and handing it to him with a sympathetic smile. He sipped on it quietly while he waited as she returned to finish with Yunho.
By the time his turn rolled around, the tea was being held precariously by limp hands as Seonghwa had nearly dozed off on the chair.
“Poor thing,” their makeup artist tutted, gently tapping his shoulder to wake him before wiping his face down with a damp cloth. “You do feel warmer than usual. Yunho was right, you should maybe skip today,” she fussed. Seonghwa just hummed noncommitedly, revelling in the cool cloth against his skin.
Once his makeup was done, Seonghwa at least looked better than he felt, which was the best he could hope for that day. After two packed weeks in Japan, a cold running through the group and staff, and Wooyoung’s early departure back to Seoul, everyone had been feeling more pressure and stress than usual. The least he could do was maintain his usual reliableness and keep up with everyone. Looking the part was the biggest hurdle. Unfortunately his facade of well-being didn’t last long.
“Seonghwa hyung, manager hyung said you were sick?” Mingi’s deep voice reverberated through their dressing room when he arrived and every head turned towards Seonghwa. “I brought what I have left of my cold medication like he asked.”
Seonghwa flushed, wanting to sink down into the chair he was in, possibly into the floor. He set down his half eaten bowl of rice and nodded slightly as Mingi came over and handed him the bottle of pills.
“It’s just a bit of a cold, but thank you,” Seonghwa replied as he took the bottle.
“Make sure to take it with food, or you’ll be real loopy. Speaking from experience,” Mingi offered with a slight grin.
Seonghwa gave him a side eye but opened the bottle anyway, taking two pills and washing it down with water. The meager amount of rice he’d already eaten would have to do as he didn’t think his stomach could handle more at the moment. A slight nausea had started in the pit of his stomach as he was getting changed into his stage outfit not long ago and he didn’t want to aggravate it further.
Mingi gave him a quick rub on the back then left to get his own event outfit on. Seonghwa glanced around now that the attention had left him but Hongjoong was still looking at him curiously. A silent ‘are you alright?’ passed across his face and Seonghwa nodded in return, the entire exchange only taking a moment. Whether Hongjoong believed him, he wasn’t sure, but their captain had turned back to the mirror to adjust his glasses.
The seven of them made it to their first event without incident. Seonghwa guessed that both San and Jongho weren’t made aware of his condition, which he was glad for, as he kept getting anxious glances from the others, making him a bit antsy. Was it obvious? Did he look terrible? Could the fans tell? He thought he’d covered it well until it was his turn to do his introduction.
“Hello, I’m-“ His voice came out in a crackled rasp and he quickly cleared his throat. “Sorry. Hello, I’m Seonghwa.”
He passed his mic to San, who was standing on his left, his face morphing into a serious expression in Seonghwa’s peripheral vision. He realized then how clammy his hands were, the mic probably slippery with his sweat.
The meet and greet continued as Seonghwa felt the dampness on his hairline increasing. A pounding had started behind his eyes from the spotlights and all the screaming was starting to hurt his ears. Trying to dance their choreography as the music kept switching between songs was rattling his brain, making him disoriented, but thankfully they were being ushered off stage soon after.
“Hyung, what’s wrong?” San asked as soon as they were out of the crowd’s sight, his hand reaching out to grab Seonghwa’s. “Huh? You’re hot. The mic was all wet when you passed it to me…”
“Here, sit down.” One of their managers appeared with a folding chair, placing it near him. Seonghwa slumped into it, bending over and shutting his eyes for a moment to stop his head from spinning. “I don’t think you should continue.”
“Just give me a minute,” Seonghwa said, exhaling though his mouth to calm himself. He heard Mingi whisper to San and San gasp softly, followed by some more crooning noises.
Jongho knelt in front of him, offering a bottle of water. “Here, this will help. You might be dehydrated.”
Seonghwa took it gratefully but sipped slowly, not wanting the water to slosh around in his stomach and make him feel worse. After a few minutes he straightened back up to his members all looking at him in concern.
“I think you’re done for today, Seonghwa,” said Hongjoong, leader tone initiated.
“No,” Seonghwa countered. “Not with Wooyoung out too.”
“Hyung,” San whined.
“Please, we just have two more events. We’re almost done.”
Hongjoong let out an annoyed tsk, but he knew enough not to start an argument in front of everyone. Seonghwa looked up at him pleadingly.
“Fine, but you’re going straight back to the hotel after.”
“That’s okay with me,” Seonghwa chuckled, which quickly turned into a cough.
“Hm don’t make me regret it.”
Seonghwa was sorry to think that he probably would, now that they were standing at their event booth, his knees locked to keep himself from swaying. Mingi’s hand found his back and rubbed it gently while also trying to keep him steady. He desperately wanted to take off his jacket but he knew his shirt would be damp underneath; he could feel sweat dripping down the nape of his neck. He hadn’t said a word the entire segment, afraid his voice would finally fail him.
This had been a bad idea, why hadn’t he listened?
The moment they walked off the floor and into their dressing room again, the tension left Seonghwa’s body and his knees buckled.
“Woah, hyung!”
Someone grabbed him beneath his arms and then everything was white, blindingly bright. All he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears before distorted voices started to break through again.
“Hyung? Seonghwa hyung, are you with us?”
He felt his body shiver violently, but at the same time the cold helped to bring him back to his senses.
“Take it easy, you’re okay.”
A soft hand was brushing through his hair as his head was being cradled. He forced his eyes to open despite the throbbing in his head putting pressure on them. The first thing he saw was Mingi looking at him from upside down, and then San who was at his side. He looked further down towards his feet, now realizing he was laying on the floor of the dressing room, and saw Yeosang sitting cross legged, holding Seonghwa’s feet up a few inches from the ground. There were ice packs tucked up against his sides and under his neck, and a cold cloth on his forehead.
“I…fainted?” Seonghwa asked, his voice not sounding entirely his own yet.
“Bingo.” Now it was Yunho popping into his vision, still smiling thankfully, even if there was worry behind his eyes. “You nearly scared Mingi out of his skin. I don’t know how he still caught you.”
Seonghwa felt Mingi shrug beneath his head and he strained to look back up at him. “Are you okay?”
“Am I okay? Hyung, are you okay?”
Seonghwa wasn’t sure how to answer that but he was saved by Hongjoong joining the fray.
“Is he awake?”
Seonghwa tried to wave his hand only to find it trapped by San’s own. Hongjoong saw his movements and let out a sigh of relief.
“Good. One of the managers went to go get a van pulled up to take him to the hospital. The other’s on the phone right now with Gyu Wook hyung. Give him a few more minutes and then see if he can stand up or if we need-“
“Joong,” Seonghwa interrupted, his muscles straining to push himself onto his elbows.
“Hyung, lay down,” San said softly, pressing a hand against his chest to stop him.
Hongjoong finally looked at Seonghwa after avoiding eye contact since he’d entered the room.
“I’m sorry,” Seonghwa offered solemnly.
“Aish, Seonghwa.” Hongjoong spun around for a moment, covering his face with his hands. His shoulders hunched making him look even smaller. It was only for a moment and then he turned back. “Don’t start saying you’re sorry, it’s not your fault. It should be mine, first Wooyoung and now you, I should have stopped you both and now look what’s happened.”
“Hyung, it’s no one’s fault,” San said, still holding Seonghwa down. “No one caused this, it just happens.”
Hongjoong looked like he wanted to say more but one of their managers entered then, looking frazzled.
”The van’s here, how’s Seonghwa?”
“I’m okay, hyung.”
Their manager crouched down on Seonghwa’s other side, looking him over for injuries before getting the others to help him up to his feet.
“Ohh, still dizzy,” Seonghwa said, clenching his eyes shut and wrapping his arm around Mingi’s waist as Mingi held him against his side, like a tall sturdy tree.
“No kidding hyung, you’re still as white as the floor.”
Seonghwa groaned as they lead him out to the van. The change in altitude had his head throbbing again and he melted into the seat, his clammy skin resting against the cool glass of the window.
“Okay, as long as everyone is alright, you can keep going with the next event. There’s a hospital a few blocks over we’ll be taking Seonghwa to get checked over at. I’ll message the group chat to keep you all updated.”
There was a chorus of ‘okays’ and ‘feel betters’ and an ‘I love you’ from San and then they were off to the hospital.
Finally getting to lay back down in his hotel bed was pure bliss, the only thing that could have topped it would have been his own bed back home.
Luckily, Seonghwa’s illness was confirmed to be just a bad cold, however it was exacerbated by the exhaustion of the last few weeks. The sweating from the fever he had been running had lead to him being dehydrated as Jongho had thought, and the round of IV fluids he received at the hospital had improved his condition immensely. It was enough so that he could wash up and shower when he got back to the hotel, and eat a small meal, before getting back into bed where he was ordered to stay for the next 24 hours.
Seonghwa was almost finished reading through messages from fans when a text from the only member he hadn’t heard from yet today popped up on his screen.
WY: Yah! Babo!! Are you crazy??
SH: Nice to hear from you, Wooyoung. How are you?
WY: Stop deflecting. Why didn’t you listen to your body? We’ve been through this before.
SH: I think someone needs to take his own advice too
WY: :P
WY: ….I love you hyung. Get some rest and come home soon.
SH: Oh, so you do miss me?
WY: No, I’m just bored.
SH: :P…..I love you too