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1. Swapping Spit
“Unhand it!” Power shrieked as she launched herself across the table. “‘Tis mine! Mine, I say!” Her hand landed in Denji’s bowl with a disgusting splat, tipping the bowl and causing the food to spill out over the table top. Her bare foot nearly crashed down in Aki’s, but he deftly moved it out of the way without so much as a spare glance in their direction, a bored look in his eyes as he took a sip from his beer. “Give it to me!”
“Fuck off!” Denji shoved the last bite of beef into his mouth, shearing through it with his teeth as soon as possible, and halfway considered swallowing it without chewing just to spite her. “Shit’s mine!”
Power’s eyes narrowed, and she made no move to get off the table, or even remove her limbs from the bowls and plates of vegetables and rice she’d landed in.
Denji snickered and stuck out his tongue.
Her hand shot out, her sticky fingers forcing their way inside his mouth, nails sinking into the half-chewed hunk of meat and yanking it from his mouth with a triumphant laugh.
“Hey, you fucking bitch!” Denji lunged and grabbed for the last morsel of dinner. Like hell he was gonna let her win after that bullshit! Why the fuck wasn’t Aki doing anything!?
Power shoved the hunk of beef in her mouth, baring her needle-sharp teeth in a shit-eating grin, but careful not to open her mouth, just in case Denji tried the same thing she just had. And he was damn well considering it, because that shit just wasn’t fair!
Power’s throat bobbed, and Denji threw his head back with a groan as he realized she’d just swallowed it before he even had the chance to try getting it back, so instead he settled for grumbling, “That’s fuckin’ nasty. Know how much of my spit was on that thing?”
“Yes…” Power nodded sagely, and made her way back to her seat, as if she hadn’t just crawled across the fucking table “Twas very slimy. And your saliva tastes of vegetables.”
“Sorry I eat my damn vegetables!” Denji shouted as he slammed his hand on the table. “I don’t waste shit like you!”
Power crossed her arms and turned her nose up. “I waste nothing. As you said, I ingested your saliva!”
“They are being very loud… I’d hoped they weren’t so loud sometimes,” Angel murmured.
Denji jerked his head towards him so quickly his neck popped. “I still don’t get why the hell he’s here for dinner,” he said as he jabbed his chopsticks towards Angel.
“Because I invited him,” Aki said with a tired sigh. “Something I am now realizing was a mistake. I don’t think you two even have a ‘best behavior’ option.”
Denji and Power both stuck their tongues out at him, though Denji did spice it up by flipping him off, for good measure.
Aki rolled his eyes, and picked up another bite from his bowl of food that he had managed to save from being kicked across the room by Power’s nasty-ass bare feet.
“That was gross, though,” Angel said.
“Oh hell no!” Denji exclaimed with a violent gesture towards Angel. “I’ve seen you eat some weird ass shit, man! Didn’t you eat fuckin’ zombies? That’s like backwards or somethin’!”
Angel leveled him with a flat look, but then again, his face always looked like that. Maybe his expression was just stuck like that. ‘Course Aki would like a boring guy like him. “I meant your spit in her mouth. It’s gross.”
“Ain’t you dating him?” Denji asked with a vague wave towards Aki. “Doesn’t that mean you wanna do shit like swapping spit with him all the time?”
Angel blinked, as if he were taken aback.
“I mean—” Denji turned his palm up. “I know you can’t like, touch each other, or whatever. But you want to, yeah? That’s why you’re dating, mm? ‘Cause you wanna makeout and shit.”
Angel tilted his head. “No…?”
Aki sighed. “Not everyone is like you.”
“Oh, whatever. Why’re you givin’ me a hard time? Power’s the freak who ate my spit,” he said with a shrug. “I get the last piece of meat next meal.”
“Nay, I will get it next then, too!”
“You will not!” Denji shouted.
“I shall!”
“Fuck you!”
“Do I have to come for dinner again after this?” Angel asked.
Aki merely heaved a sigh in response.
2. Spooning (that’s what that shit’s called, yeah?)
So… here was the thing. Denji didn’t know dick about relationships. Sure, he thought he did. Or at least, in theory, he knew enough to get by, and he knew what he’d like to do with someone if they decided to date him, but maybe he was wrong, because Aki and Angel confused the everloving fuck outta him. He knew he wasn’t exactly the brightest, and it took Makima to help explain a lot about what made a relationship good, what made it meaningful, but at the least, Denji thought he knew what dating looked like.
But first Angel said he didn’t want to taste Aki’s spit, and now this.
Power’s snores echoed in Denji’s ear, but he’d long grown used to that racket. He shared a room with her, after all. It was get used to it, or don’t sleep. But frankly, her loud-ass snoring was the least of his concerns at the moment.
Across the living room, Aki and Angel sat on the couch, with at least a full fucking foot of space between them. Despite the fact that the TV was on, Aki was flipping through some papers, and Denji wouldn’t be surprised if the work-obsessed freak was looking at reports, and Angel just stared out the window.
And here Denji was, curled up in the floor on the pile of blankets and pillows he and Power had brought from their room with the intention of being cozy while watching a movie, since Aki had claimed the couch for himself and his date, despite the fact that half the couch was unused and separating them. But anyways, Denji curled up next to Power. He’d been roped into being the ‘outside’ cuddler, as he called it, which was fucking bullshit, because it should have been his turn for Power to drape herself over him and hold him close. Not because he liked being close to the fucking weirdo, of course not, but any time they fell asleep near each other, they woke up in a tangle of limbs, so they might as well skip some steps, and Denji liked being the inside cuddler, or little spoon, or whatever the fuck it was called, because that was warmer, and Power had just had her turn, and what did the reasons matter anyways!?
Plus, Power got to cradle Meowy to her chest in their current positions, and yeah, sure, Meowy was Power’s cat before his or even Aki’s, and Denji wasn’t even the biggest fan of cats, but Meowy was soft and warm, and if he wanted to cuddle a cat, he thought he should damn well be able to!
But that really wasn’t important right now, because as he’d said, he and Power were all over each other, and Aki and Angel were barely acknowledging each other, let alone cuddling. Come to think of it, Denji didn’t think he’d ever seen Aki and his boyfriend do anything close to what he was currently doing with Power.
Which, yeah, again, the no touching thing or Aki’s lifespan would get zapped away, yadda yadda, but… there were loopholes, right? It was fine through fabric. So they could wear gloves, maybe some turtleneck sweaters, get a little creative, but to Denji’s knowledge, they didn’t even try. Or at least they didn’t in front of him.
Why the fuck were they even dating if they didn’t wanna do that kinda shit? Angel didn’t want Aki’s tongue down his throat and spit in his mouth, and he didn’t wanna touch him either.
And here Denji was, snuggling up to Power like it was no big deal.
(Because it wasn’t).
From what he knew, it seemed more like he was dating Power, than Aki was dating Angel. And wasn’t that a horrifying fucking thought. What if people got the idea he was dating Power? What if Makima thought he and Power had some kinda weird thing going on? Surely she wouldn’t, right? She was too smart for that.
But still… Aki and Angel confused the shit out of him, and if what they were doing could be considered dating, what did that mean for Denji and anyone he might wanna date?
Whatever. He couldn’t think straight with Power snoring so close to him, and he began to drift off himself.
3. Stealing clothes
“Oh, um, you look cute today, Power,” Kobeni said.
“‘Tis a lie…” Power lamented as she turned a palm up. “Topknot is refusing to do my laundry, so I am forced to share clothing with Denji!”
Denji rolled his eyes. “Ain’t nothing wrong with my clothes. Fit just the same as yours do.”
“They do not look the same though,” she said as she shook her head.
“You could just do your laundry,” he suggested.
Then again, it’d been a battle and a half just convincing Power to take goddamn baths, so maybe they shouldn’t push their luck with the clothes thing.
“Laundry does suck,” Violence agreed as he reached out to drape an arm around Kobeni’s shoulders. “But you should probably wash your clothes. Doesn’t Aki already do a lot?”
Power flipped her hair over her shoulder and slouched further down into her seat. “But he has always done the laundry! Why has he so suddenly decided I should do my own? Truly, I do not care whether my clothes are clean or not!”
“Yeah, well the rest of us fuckin’ do,” Denji grumbled before slurping down a mouthful of his ramen. “Your BO is fucking rancid, dude.”
Power rolled her eyes. “Again, ‘tis a problem for you humans, not me. Therefore, I do not see why I should care.”
“Where is Aki?” Kobeni asked. “It’s strange that he’s not with us. You three are practically inseparable.”
“Who the fuck knows. Off canoodling with Angel,” Denji said with a shrug. “Or not canoodling. Apparently they ain’t into that kinda shit.”
Kobeni and Violence exchanged a glance (or at least Denji assumed they did, it was kind of hard to tell with that mask), before Violence shook his head.
“Well, whatever they’re off doing, I’m sure they’re enjoying it…” Kobeni finally began to pick at her own food, just now taking the first few bites, despite the fact that Denji and Power were nearly finished inhaling theirs. It was always nice going out with Violence and Kobeni, even if they were weird as hell. Violence was more than happy to treat them all to food.
“It’s sweet that you two are close enough to share clothes, though,” Kobeni continued. “I mean, I mostly have a bunch of hand me downs, but one of my sisters had this boyfriend, she’d borrow his clothes a lot. I always thought it was cute…”
“You want my jacket?” Violence asked, already making a move to shrug it off.
“No, no!” Kobeni waved her hands. “That’s not what I meant! I just meant—I dunno, it’s nice when people share clothes. Cute… Especially when it's couples… I might take your jacket later…”
“Whenever you want!” Violence said.
“We’re not together!” Denji protested.
Power coughed out an exaggerated retch at the mere notion.
“I never thought you were!” Kobeni assured them. “But you two are very close and… Uh… st-stop looking at me like that! I was just saying—” She cut herself off with a whimper and jerked her head away, and that familiar anxious sheen of sweat dripped down her brow.
Damn. Denji thought they might actually get through a hangout without Kobeni freaking the fuck out on them over something.
“It’s whatever,” he muttered. “Not like I know anything about that kinda shit anyways.”
Because, apparently, everything Denji thought he knew, just wasn’t right.
What else was new?
4. Taking (not) sexy baths together
Water poured over the side of the bath, splashing onto the floor and spreading across the bathroom tile and soaking into their discarded, rancid uniforms.
“Aahh!” Power stretched her limbs, as if she were determined to take up as much damn space as possible in the already cramped tub. “I do not mind being dirty, but even I am forced to admit, few things in this world feel as nice as warm water rinsing the grime away.”
Denji grimaced as her movement squished him against the side of the tub, her warm skin pressing against his body, too many points of contact to count.
Maybe it should have been strange, being in such close proximity to Power, especially when they were both naked, but it really didn’t feel any different than being close to her in any other way. Hell, he’d already groped her tits and felt nothing over that, so this really wasn’t much different. Sure, she was hot, and had a helluva body, but it was Power. How could Denji ever actually be turned on by Power? Especially while they were both coated in drying, crusty blood and smelt like death and sweat. It was why they’d piled into the bath at the same time, too stubborn and impatient to wait on someone to go first, much to Aki’s chagrin.
“Hey, Power?” he asked.
“Mm?” She slid down the side of the bath, submerging as much of her body as possible, and entangling their legs further.
“It weird that we do this kinda shit?” he asked. “Like… sleeping together, and baths, and stuff?”
She tilted her head. “Why would such things be strange?”
“Because—! I dunno! It’s like what boyfriends and girlfriends do,” he said. He knew he wanted to do that kinda stuff with Makima, but what if it was the same? What if he didn’t actually feel anything towards Makima when they did this stuff? What if they were like Aki and Angel?
Power’s eyes narrowed. “And yet, we are not those things.”
“Yeah! I know! I’m askin’ if that’s why it’s weird!”
“You fondled my chest and did not ask these questions,” she said. “What has changed? Certainly not the nature of our relationship to one another!”
Denji might argue that that wasn’t quite true, because he and Power had gone from hardly being able to stand each other to… this weird state of not-dating-but-maybe-doing-dating-things-for-some-reason. But there was a time and a place, and this conversation was already confusing enough. “We act more like we’re datin’ than Aki and Angel do.”
“And yet, we are not dating. I would not like to date the likes of you,” she declared. “I would not like to date the likes of any human! ‘Tis simply not something I am interested in! Sex and romance, all beneath me!”
Denji groaned and threw his head back. He should have known that a conversation like this was pointless with Power. She didn’t think about things; she just did things and accepted things as they were. In her brain, they weren’t dating, so there was no need to consider that what they did was something close to dating.
“Ah, whatever. Never mind, I guess.”
Power hummed and reached for the soap, to begin the long and arduous process of scrubbing the blood from their bodies.
+1. The fuck’s it really matter anyways?
Denji didn’t know dick about relationships.
He knew he’d loved Pochita, that he was his best friend. He knew he wanted to be with Makima, that he’d do anything for her. And he knew Power and Aki were something to him, even if he had no idea what.
Denji didn’t know about a lot of things in life, so he wasn’t sure why this one particular thing bothered him so damn much.
“Yo, Aki?”
Aki didn’t bother to look up from the onion he chopped for dinner. “Hm?”
“You and Angel… I don’t get it. How come you’re dating if you never wanna touch each other?” he asked.
“Because we want to be dating,” Aki said, as if it were as simple as that. “Touch and wanting touch have nothing to do with it. I’m actually glad I met someone that doesn’t expect me to be physically affectionate constantly.”
Denji crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall as his eyes narrowed. “But I thought that was the point. You date so you can touch each other.”
“No, that’s just some people. Not everyone. Just like some people can touch each other and hook up all the time but not be dating,” he said.
And well, Denji supposed that was true. One night stands, friends with benefits, casual sex. Those were all things he knew existed (and fuck, Himeno had tried those with him and he’d never thought much about it beyond the fact that he didn’t want to do it because it wasn’t with Makima), but he’d never questioned those things, or the people involved in those things, like he questioned what the hell was going on between him and Power.
“Does it really matter?” Aki asked with a weary sigh. “I don’t think it does. Dating or not dating, touch or no touch, it’s whatever you prefer. Why are you suddenly so interested in me and Angel?”
“I’m not.” Denji’s gaze drifted towards the floor. “I just… I thought, you know, if someone didn’t know anything about us, it might seem more like me and Power were datin’ rather than you and Angel. And it’s bugging me.”
“Why? Since when do you give a shit about what other people think?” Aki asked.
Denji shrugged. “It ain’t really that. I just don’t get it. I don’t think I feel that way about Power, but we still do all that kinda shit. And you say you don’t wanna do that stuff with Angel. Makes no damn sense to me.”
“A lot of things don’t make sense.” Aki turned to scrape the chopped onions from the cutting board and into the skillet. “You and Power are weird, but that’s fine. Angel and I are weird, and that’s also fine.”
“Yeah, guess so…”
“Stop worrying about it,” Aki said. “It’s not like you. A lot about you doesn’t make sense, so why would this need to?”
Denji snorted and pushed off the kitchen wall to lean over his shoulder and watch him shift around the onions in the pan with a spatula. “Fuck off, you calling me a weirdo?”
“Yes.”
“Fair enough, I guess.”
And even if he would never, ever, say it out loud, because if he did, he’d never hear the goddamn end of it, maybe Aki had a point.
Why did it matter if Denji couldn’t understand this?
The way he and Power were with each other… he didn’t want it to change; he liked it exactly the way it was, and he thought she might too. Aki and Angel really weren’t any of his damn business either.
Life was batshit. Dating was batshit.
Why think about it? Especially when thinking wasn’t even his strong suit.
“Hey Power!” he called. “Dinner’s about ready!”
Thundering footsteps and boisterous laughter sounded from the hall, and Denji smiled.