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The chime by the door alerted Thanatos that someone had entered the shop. He put down the flowers he had been arranging to see the customer and was greeted by the smiling face of Zagreus.
“Than!” he yelled as he made his way to the counter behind which Thanatos was standing.
“Can I help you?” Thanatos asked.
It was not unheard of to have Zagreus come in to do odd jobs every once in a while, he was the owners’ son after all, but this time he didn’t look like he was about to work. No, he had stopped by the counter and was looking at Thanatos as if he was contemplating his next words. Which, for Zagreus, was unusual. In the two years that Thanatos had worked in the shop, he didn’t remember Zagreus ever having trouble putting his thoughts into words. He was wonderfully direct like that. He wanted something, he said it. Thanatos admired it about him, as he himself had always put too much thought into what he said, which often led to him saying nothing at all.
“Yes, please! I need a bouquet,” said Zagreus, “and I would make it myself, except I am crap at making bouquets, and I need this one to be perfect.”
“What is it for?” asked Thanatos.
Zagreus hesitated a moment. “It’s uh… It’s silly. There’s someone special and I can’t seem to bring myself to say anything, but I want to express my feelings for him.”
At this, Thanatos’s heart sank a little. He had developed a crush on Zagreus almost immediately after meeting him. At first he had tried to fight it, Zagreus being the bosses’ son and all, but fairly soon he had had to accept that his crush was there to stay. Still, he had never expected anything to come from it, even if sometimes they had shared precious moments where he had wondered if maybe the feeling was mutual. But Zagreus had never said anything, and neither had he. And now there was someone else, so whether it had been mutual or not didn’t matter. Thanatos scolded himself for the disappointment in his heart. Zagreus needed help with flowers and Thanatos was not going to let his stupid feelings come in the way of his professionalism!
“And,” Zagreus continued almost sheepishly, “there are quite a lot of feelings to express, so maybe you could help me pick the flowers to convey the message?”
“Of course,” said Thanatos, and made sure there was no disappointment or any other emotion in his voice, “what should we make the flowers say, then?”
“Well, let’s start with the easy thing,” said Zagreus and made his way to one of the display cabinets. Thanatos followed him.
“Whenever I look at him I can’t help thinking how much I want to just spend time with him, hold his hand, kiss him...”
“So, some red roses?” Thanatos asked. Even Zagreus knew this much about communicating with flowers.
“Red roses,” Zagreus confirmed, “but not too many. That’s not the main point I’m trying to make.”
Thanatos nodded and picked up two red roses from the display. Ones that weren’t quite in full bloom yet. This way the bouquet would become more beautiful after it had been given to the recipient.
“I also want him to know that this is not just some passing fancy, I want to be with him for real, for a long time. This is serious for me,” continued Zagreus. Thanatos thought for a moment. He then turned around to look at the other cabinets. He was now treating this as an intellectual challenge, and it was surprisingly easy to direct his thoughts to that, and not to the fact that he was listening to Zagreus describe his love for someone. No doubt Thanatos would spend way too much time thinking about it later, but at least he was able to stay professional for now.
“Perhaps some baby’s breath to communicate everlasting feelings, or is that too dramatic?” He asked. Zagreus pondered it for a moment.
“I don’t want to be too forceful in my message,” he said, “I mean I do feel I will love him forever, but I wouldn’t want to scare him. But they do look nice. What do you think, would it be too much?”
Thanatos thought of it. “Maybe we just put in one small branch. And perhaps ferns for sincerity? Then the green will mellow the baby’s breath,” he proposed.
“Oh, yes,” said Zagreus smiling, “that’s perfect.”
“And one of those!” Zagreus said suddenly as they were making their way to the other side of the shop to pick up the ferns. Thanatos turned to see what he was pointing at. It was a white lily.
“That might send some mixed signals,” said Thanatos frowning, “are you sure?”
“Yes, he will know what it means,” Zagreus assured him, so Thanatos added the lily in.
“And now, the more difficult part,” said Zagreus and sighed. He took a moment before he started explaining.
“I want him to know that I think he is the most wonderful person in the world, and that every minute he’s in my life it gets a little better. And I am sorry that I haven’t been able to spend a lot of time with him. I’m also sorry that I haven’t been communicating with him about my feelings…” Zagreus looked away for a moment. Then he faced Thanatos again, took a deep breath, and continued, “but I really love and appreciate him as a friend too, and I want us to stay friends, whatever happens. I didn’t want to say anything, because I worried it might make things awkward between us. But it doesn’t have to. I’m completely fine with being friends too, if that’s what he wants. I just want to tell him that I would also be open to… more. If the feeling is mutual.”
Zagreus stared at Thanatos. The look in his mismatched eyes could only be called desperation. Desperate to be understood. To finally confess to the feelings he had kept inside him for a long time. Thanatos could sympathize. And how much more difficult it must be for poor Zagreus, who always spoke his mind so freely. They looked at each other for a long time, saying nothing at all.
“That is a pretty complicated message to convey by flowers,” said Thanatos eventually, carefully.
“I know,” Zagreus sighed.
Thanatos turned back to the flower displays. “White chrysanthemum for truth,” he offered, “it also has a connotation of a cherished friend. And maybe we can add some ivy for more friendship.”
Zagreus nodded.
“Anything more you want to add?” asked Thanatos, picking the ivy tendrils from a bucket on the wall.
“That’s all, I think,” said Zagreus.
They made their way to the counter. Zagreus stood next to him, quietly, as Thanatos arranged the flowers in a more presentable manner. It wasn’t a conventional bouquet, but it looked good. He tied a little bow around the stems to finish it off.
Zagreus paid.
Thanatos held out the bouquet to Zagreus.
“Zag,” he said softly, hoping the nickname would make his words sound sincere rather than patronizing, “I really think it would be better if you just told him.”
Zagreus smiled at Thanatos, still not taking the flowers. “I am. Or rather, I just did,” he said, now raising his hand enough to press the bouquet against Thanatos’s chest, “the flowers are for you, Than.”
It took a moment for the words to register, and as they did, Thanatos felt his heart skip a few beats, and then a terrible hotness crept upon his cheeks.His mouth curved into a smile and he fought an impulse to hide his face and its million emotions into the flowers.
“So?” prompted Zagreus.
“What?” asked Thanatos, confused. He had been deep in thought, playing back the bouquet crafting in his head, recontextualizing every word. But when he saw that Zagreus’s eyes still had the same desperation from before, it was explanation enough.
“Yes!” said Thanatos quickly, “yes the feeling is mutual.”
The worry melted from Zagreus’s face and was replaced by incredible joy. That smile, Thanatos thought, had to be the most precious thing in the entire world. And Thanatos wanted nothing more than to kiss him. For a fleeting moment he wondered if it would be okay, and then saw the red roses. Yes, it was mutual, all of it.
Thanatos bent down a little to press a quick kiss on Zagreus’s lips. His soft, warm lips. As he pulled away, he had lost all control over his face. His cheeks were growing even hotter and his smile even wider. But for once, he didn’t want to hide.
“Do you want to go get a coffee or something?” asked Zagreus, softly. Carefully. Oh so gently, as if he was still worried he might scare Thanatos off. And Thanatos wanted to say yes, he wanted to give Zagreus everything he asked for, but also, his shift didn’t end for two more hours. Thanatos sighed apologetically.
“Right now? Zagreus, I’m work—“ but he didn’t have time to finish the sentence before an extremely cheery voice called from the back room: “I’ll take care of it!”
A moment later Persephone stepped into the shop, smiling a smile that was almost as radiant as her son’s.
“You two go enjoy yourselves, I’ll take care of the shop,” she said.
“But I’m on—“ Thanatos tried, but Persephone just shook her head.
“Boss’s orders,” she laughed, “have a nice evening!”
Thanatos smiled gratefully.
“Thank you,” he said.
“Thanks, mum,” said Zagreus and hugged his mother. Then he offered his hand to Thanatos.
“So, what was the lily for?” Thanatos asked as they walked out holding hands.
“They’re your favourite flower, are they not? You said so once,” Zagreus said and Thanatos had not known it would be possible to love him any more, but suddenly he did.