Work Text:
Transcript from the Royal Archivist’s interview with Commander Cale Henituse
January 17 of Year 784 of the Felix Calendar.
Commander Cale Henituse: Hyung, do you have to be here?
First Prince Alberu Crossman: Two golden plaques.
Henituse: The kingdom is sure to flourish under the alacrity of its Sun! What this humble existence has to offer you measures nothing in comparison with your boundless generosity! I live to entertain.
Crossman: Yes, yes, enough of that. Your first question, please.
Royal Archivist Jarve Lindisfarne: Uh. Yes, of course, your Highness. So. Commander Cale Henituse of Roan Kingdom—
Henituse: Did you tell him to say that?
Crossman shrugs and smiles.
Henituse: Just call me Cale. If you call me that waste of words again, I’ll walk out. I swear I’ll do it.
Henituse points a threatening finger at Crossman and scowls. Crossman chuckles.
Lindisfarne: Pardon me, then. Cale, what is the motto that you live by?
Henituse waves his hand.
Henituse: Our family motto. Better to be alive and unknown, than famous and dead.
Lindisfarne: … I seem to misremember the Henituse family motto.
Reference 1: History of the Houses, Volume I, Edition vii. “Henituse House: There is no reason to be recorded in history. Live for peace and happiness instead.”
Crossman: You haven’t. That is just our Commander’s personal take on it.
Lindisfarne: Ah. Right. But you are famous now, Cale—
Henituse scowls deeper, and Crossman laughs again.
Lindisfarne: —so how does that make you feel?
Henituse: I’m not famous?
Lindisfarne: Sir, you do understand that only significant figures are interviewed by the Royal Archivist?
Henituse: Obviously. I just don’t see why someone’s sworn brother counts.
Crossman and Lindisfarne share a grimace.
Henituse: Like, seriously. This hyung is too sentimental. Who decides to interview trash as if it’s anything of significance? Just because he has some misguided image of our relationship.
Henituse flinches and pauses for a moment, before sighing. His hands are scratching something invisible in his lap.
Crossman: Our Young Master Silver Shield is very important to us.
Lindisfarne: Yes, Master Cale! You have achieved so many great feats! We would like to acknowledge them and preserve your knowledge for future generations!
Henituse: (inaudible muttering)
Reference 2: Corrected later by Black Dragon Raon Miru: “Henituse: I wish you didn’t.”
Lindisfarne: I’m sorry, could you repeat that for the scribe?
Henituse: If they need to know any of my… knowledge, we’ve failed.
Lindisfarne: That is incredibly noble of you, Master Cale.
Henituse: Isn’t that just basic decency? If you start something, you have to finish it. Even trash like me—
Crossman: Ahem. What our esteemed Commander means to say is, yes. Our aim was to eradicate every last trace of Arm, and any similar organisations. Such things are, of course, impossible in the long run; we cannot prevent the formation of evils. But we hope that the specific threats that we have faced will not be encountered again. Our dear Commander has sacrificed a lot for this purpose, and Roan Kingdom is forever grateful.
Henituse: Is this your interview, or mine?
Crossman: My dear dongsaeng, isn’t it more comfortable to let me speak your thoughts?
Henituse: How could I let our shining sun’s gilded words be squandered on something as menial as lip service for archival records? Your talents are much wasted here.
Crossman: Cale, shut up.
Henituse: And you, hyung.
Henituse grimaces at Crossman.
Lindisfarne: That is… that is treason.
Crossman: Hmm? What was that, Royal Archivist?
Reference 3: Crossman notes that Cale Henituse has been permitted to speak freely with him, and thus cannot be charged for blasphemy or treason against the Roan Kingdom or royal Crossman family based on words alone.
Lindisfarne: Uh. Would you like the next question?
Henituse: Whatever.
Lindisfarne: If you had one regret, what would it be?
Henituse: That I ever got involved in the first place. Should’ve just let myself be beaten up.
Crossman: Pardon me, dongsaeng? I’m sure this is information that everyone would like to know.
Henituse: It’s unnecessary, though? I successfully avoided it. We’ve been through much worse since then.
Crossman: So you agree that what you’ve been through is ‘bad’.
Henituse: Next question.
Crossman: No, not the next question. You understand that you have not had it easy.
Henituse: Obviously? What part of it looked easy? It was all very hard, you know, and if the fu—
Henituse coughs.
Henituse: — universe refuses to give me my slacker life even after all of this, I will simply d—
Reference 4: Lindisfarne notes that at this point, the room felt flooded with murderous intent.
Crossman: Dongsaeng.
Henituse: Ahem. I will ignore it and let someone else deal with it. Who do you take me for? I don’t get involved in troublesome stuff.
Lindisfarne: We are honoured that you have faced so much for the sake of our kingdom’s peace, Commander.
Henituse: Sure. It’s everyone else’s turn to keep it now, after all.
Lindisfarne: Could you tell us about your Ancient Power?
Henituse: Yeah. The Unbreakable Shield. I can change its size and shape.
Lindisfarne: That fateful day, when you saved hundreds of people in the Central Plaza, what were you thinking?
Henituse: I was thinking how troublesome it was.
Crossman: Go on, tell them more. No need to be shy, Commander.
Henituse: And that the others would be able to take over afterwards. Is that good enough, your Highness?
Crossman: Go back to calling me hyung and maybe it will be.
Lindisfarne: Your partnership started from that incident, did it not?
Henituse: My hyung gives me so much, how could I bring an end to it?
Crossman: One golden plaque.
Henituse: Stingy. I’ve done this much, haven’t I?
Crossman: Fine.
Henituse: Still two then?
Crossman: Young Master Silver Shield, your adoring fans would love to help you out. Should I put in a word for your poorly financial situation to them? I hear the Paerun Guardian Knight is considering a themed event; it would not be too hard to make it a fundraiser instead.
Henituse: Any more questions?
Lindisfarne: Uh—
Henituse: List them out on a letter and send it to the Henituse County.
Lindisfarne: Your Highness?
Crossman and Henituse are staring at each other. Crossman sighs.
Crossman: I think we can conclude this interview then, Royal Archivist Lindisfarne?
Lindisfarne: Your Highness, this goes against—
Crossman: Protocol, yes. It is good that you know it so well. Our precious Commander is still recovering, so it is time for him to retire.
Lindisfarne shakes his head.
Lindisfarne: Very well, then. This concludes the in-person interview of Commander Cale Henituse. January 17, Year 784 of the Felix Calendar.
Henituse: I’m never doing this again.
Crossman pinches the bridge of his nose as he follows Henituse out the door.
Crossman: Agreed.