Archive of Our Own

It's odd, but ever since he moved out, Illumi feels like a stranger whenever he enters the Zoldyck household.

His feet don't falter and he deliberately ignores his mother, sitting at the table, enjoying her afternoon tea in the garden. He steps through the front door and is received by a pair of butlers, who get out of his way the moment they realize they're not needed. This is a quick visit —a type of visit that has become frequent these days—, he's only here to give his report of the last contract and receive his new job. It's an established routine by this point.

He stands firm in front of his father, giving a summary of how he carried out the contract, and when he's done, he hands the document given to him when he first accepted the job, mere weeks ago. A new document is delivered to him and Illumi takes it, giving it a quick glance and saving it on the sleeve of his top; with that, this process is done and so Illumi should leave.

He voices his departure with a brief "Let me know if you need anything" and turns around to leave when Silva's voice makes him stop in his tracks.

"Illumi."

It's just his name, but Illumi knows better than to ignore this call; the tone is serious, so it must be an important issue. He faces Silva, expectantly.

"I've been meaning to discuss something with you." Silva straightens and connects his relentless gaze with Illumi's dark eyes, asking for his complete attention, even if Illumi is always focused on whatever message he's receiving, "Don't you think you've spent a long time with the clown? It's been a while since you became interested in him." 

Silva is analyzing the blank face in front of him, searching for a reaction or change in expression, anything that will reveal Illumi's thoughts, however, he doesn't find anything. He almost laughs at himself, of course, he didn't find any emotion, it's Illumi we're talking about, he has never found anything in that face .

Illumi does wonder for a moment when his father could have found out about Hisoka but concludes that it doesn't really matter. Instead, he is curious as to why this subject has been brought up.

"What do you mean?" 

Silva sighs, knowing he shouldn't have expected better with Illumi. "I'm asking if you haven't grown tired of him by now. You shouldn't stay with the same person all the time. If you want to change him, I can make some calls and find someone you like."

Illumi frowns. "Why would I want to get rid of my husband?"

To say Silva is flabbergasted is an understatement.

His face contorts almost comically, eyes widening so much they look similar to Illumi's; this is followed by the angriest expression Illumi has ever seen on Silva's face. 

The youngest Zoldyck is confused, didn't his father already know about him and Hisoka? If he knew about the magician's existence, then he must have definitely noticed the change in Illumi's marital status almost ten months ago, Illumi had concluded.

"Explain yourself." 

"Hisoka and I got married last summer," Ilumi explains calmly, "Since you were aware of our relationship, I supposed you knew."

"I didn't." 

Silva grits his teeth and looks like he's about to choke Illumi to death. Illumi is aware that his father is not happy and the realization freezes him at once: he made a mistake and now Silva is angry .

"Now tell me, what prompted you to do that?" Silva asks again, tone careful and clearly containing himself because there must be a good reason as to why Illumi, of all people, would act in such a way. His son wouldn't hide something this important from him; he taught him better than that.

"I was reaching the age you were when you married Mother, so I thought it would be acceptable to do the same."

"You thought that by yourself?"

Illumi doesn't look away from Silva's eyes, even if every cell in his body tells him to run away without turning back, he overcomes that feeling. It's been a while since the last time he felt this and he discovers he didn't miss being in this kind of situation; actually, he loathes it.

Silva sighs, directing his sight to the document on his lap. "You're going to leave him," he says, almost absentmindedly.

Illumi gets the urge to agree just to end this thing he's feeling. He tells himself he's only respecting his and Hisoka's engagement, something he does with every single contract he has received and this is no exception, although he knows this is different. Hisoka always motivates him to act on his desires rather than out of obligation and Illumi doesn't understand why, but he finds he likes that. The magician prompts him to do the things he wants, and right now, he wants Hisoka. It's as simple as that; he wants Hisoka and he doesn't find a good enough reason to give up on him, so he won't.

He would never do something that might put his family at risk and he has no intentions of disregarding his duties, nevertheless, being loyal to the family and being married to Hisoka are two things that can coexist. 

"But there's never been a divorce in the Zoldyck family." Illumi says.

Silva stands up, rage filling his senses, and hits the wall with a side fist, not removing his sight from his son. The wall shatters, producing a thunderous sound that resonates throughout the entire mansion.

Illumi knows that the next blow will be directed at him.

It doesn't matter, though. He has no intention of changing his mind.

"What made you think you can do as you please? You're a Zoldyck . It seems that you forgot it."

Illumi remains quiet. He has not forgotten. He tries to present evidence supporting the fact that getting married in secret doesn't affect his motivations. "I still carry out my contracts dutifully. I will never do anything against the family," he says.

A sarcastic laugh resonates through Silva. "What do you expect me to say? That's just what you have to do."

Illumi blinks at him. 

Silva is exasperated by the lack of reaction but then again, this is Illumi. 

"When did… whatever is going between you two, start?" The subject changes.

"We settled an agreement four years ago."

Illumi spits the word 'agreement' like it doesn't make his skin crawl, like it doesn't make him uncomfortable. If Hisoka was here he wouldn't react well to that word, but Illumi uses it because he thinks his father will like it.

Silva nods. Even if he looks calmer, he's still pushing back his anger.

"Why did he marry you?"

Illumi thought the first question he would be asked was going to be 'why did you marry him?', not this. 

"He said it would be fun." 

Silva's eyebrow twitches. He only got the basic information of the man Illumi moved in with when he left the mansion almost three years ago and didn't deem him important enough to actually make a thorough investigation on him. That has changed now.

"What is he after? Money, reputation, alliances?"

"He doesn't care about any of that."

"Everyone does. He's no exception," Silva huffs. "And if you thought getting married was a good idea, why would you choose him , out of all people?"

"He's useful." 

Illumi isn't lying. He would never lie to his father. He can't. Still, he's not stupid enough to deny that he's holding back what he truly wants to say; Hisoka is , indeed, useful, but he's so much more than that, it's a crime to reduce his worth to this. He knows he's not being entirely honest but this is hardly the first time he has done something behind his father's back and he has to try every method, anything that can avoid possible repercussions against Hisoka —even if he knows the man would be delighted if he had the entirety of the Zoldycks chasing his head— because he is watching just how angry his father is and it's all because of him and he can't allow that and he feels the urge to yell, to fight, to do something and he can't because this is his father and he won't hurt the family because that's what's most important to him and…

Silva doesn't notice any change in his son ever since this conversation started, but Illumi feels sicker the more he talks; it wasn't supposed to be this way. He can't wait for this to end, he wants to leave.

"You didn't have to marry anyone just yet." Silva talks again.

"Why?" Illumi finds himself asking.

"Because I didn't tell you to do so." It's as simple as that.

Illumi doesn't understand why, but he doesn't like those words, so he considers his possibilities and comes up with a solution.

"Do you want me to go to the basement?" It's where training and torture take place within the Zoldyck household. Ilumi will wait until his father lets out his anger, maybe with him chained down for some weeks, and then they will continue this conversation. 

He will be punished for his mistake, and then he will go back to Hisoka. That’s okay.

Nonetheless, before Silva can answer Zeno walks through the door, arms on his back as usual, and eyes closed.

"Let him be," he says.

Silva and Illumi are equally surprised.

Illumi tries to remember at least one moment when his grandfather had done anything for him and his mind stays blank. They don't usually intervene in each other's business and Zeno definitely doesn't provide any support, not in the same way he has helped Killua whenever Milluki punishes him, at least.

Illumi didn't think that would change now.

"What do you mean? He—"

"He is a young man who has found someone he deems worthy as a partner." The oldest Zoldyck interrupts him, evidencing that he had been paying a lot of attention to Illumi and Silva's talk from behind the door.

"Illumi can't do that."

"You also thought he couldn't get married, didn't you?" 

Father and son stay in silence.

"And your son is right, there has never been a divorce in the family and there will never be."

"But he can't possibly—" Silva protests, dissatisfied.

"Would you rather make him marry someone of your choice? The poor woman will either try to kill him or end up killed if they aren't suitable for each other." Zeno explains. "And that would be a bigger blow to the family."

When Silva doesn't answer, Zeno talks again.

"That settles it, then." He turns to Illumi and tells him with a smirk on his face, "You should probably tell your mother, though. I'm sure she'll be happy to hear the news." 

Illumi leaves the room and returns to the garden, where his mother is still enjoying her tea. Zeno follows him, keeping his distance; he wouldn’t miss what’s coming next. 

“Illumi!” She yells, even if her son is standing by the other end of the table from where she’s sitting, “Did you have a nice talk with your father? I heard screams. What could possibly make him react like that? You’ve already left the mansion… Oh no, please don’t tell me you're leaving the country now! Or is it something worse? Are you—"

“Mother, I’m married.”

To no one’s surprise, Kikyo screams. Loudly.

Zeno, who stood a few meters away laying against the wall, smiles joyfully, almost like he was watching a particularly entertaining play.

“To whom? Do I know her? I can’t believe your father never told me!”

Even if he knows this won’t be easy to handle, Illumi feels rested now that he’s no longer trapped in his father’s office. He stays still and is able to talk in an almost normal way, after the creeping feeling he had to handle in Silva’s presence.

“He didn’t know.”

Kikyo’s mouth opens in astonishment, her hands settling on her face, the only sound that leaves her mouth is a heavy gasp. Illumi gives her a few seconds for the impact to lessen, then continues, “His name is Hisoka. He’s a bit older than me.”

“A man?” She tries not to sound disappointed and fails miserably, “But how will I get grandchildren? I can’t wait to be a grandmother.” When her son doesn’t reply she begins her new set of questions, “And who is he? A son of an important family, I suppose.”

“He’s a hunter and a fighter at Heaven’s Arena. I don’t know who his parents were; they’re both dead.”

Kikyo gasps again, louder this time. “A fighter?! How dare he marry into the Zoldycks…!”

“Grandfather is fine with it.”

“What does he know about marriages?! I don’t accept it! My son has to marry a worthy person, not some lowly—!”

“We’ve been married for ten months.” Illumi can feel the beginning of a headache right now, similar to what he feels after a particularly tricky job. He wants to get over this as soon as possible.

She shakes her head. “A paper doesn’t mean anything. There must be a huge celebration, it’s the least this family deserves.”

“We did have a celebration. It was at the beach.”

Kikyo can’t speak for a moment. “How could you—!”

“Grandfather asked me to tell you the news, that I did. I’m leaving.” And with that, Illumi turns around and walks through the garden, leaving behind his mother’s screams, his grandfather’s laughs, and his father’s rage. The butlers don’t try to stop him, not even asking if there’s anything they can do for him; they don’t dare to do more than stare at him. As he walks, maintaining a steady rhythm, he can feel numerous eyes watching every movement of his feet. He hates it.

He doesn’t stop walking until he reaches Heaven’s Arena; he is tempted to knock down the door but forces himself to use his keys because he doesn’t think Hisoka will appreciate it. When Illumi enters the apartment, the shower is on and there's steam coming out of the bathroom; he opens the door and goes inside without making a sound or removing his shoes. 

He is met with Hisoka facing the opposite wall, eyes closed.

Illumi hugs him from behind and Hisoka caresses the hands holding him. His entire clothes get wet and water falls on his face, making him close his eyes.

"Welcome back my love, I missed you." The magician lays on Illumi, head resting on the other’s shoulder. Illumi merely buries his face in Hisoka’s neck; that’s the moment Hisoka notices something’s wrong.

Hisoka turns around, gives Illumi a kiss on his forehead, then on the left and right cheek respectively, taking his time, and proceeds to hug him, holding him tightly. 

He starts to pet his head. “Do you want me to wash your hair? That always relaxes you.”

Illumi nods. He feels better now.

• • • •

Hisoka is cuddling Illumi after their make-out session when Illumi gives him the news.

"My family wants to meet you."

"Oh?" Hisoka opens his eyes and Illumi can feel the movement they make when he blinks against the back of his neck; his hair is put aside, Hisoka's head over it, and Illumi would probably argue if he didn't like so much feeling every inch of Hisoka's body against his. The man's front is touching Illumi completely, making him feel his cock against his ass, but with the sexual intent already satisfied for them both, this is just peaceful and resting.

"What did they say?"

"They invited us for dinner next Saturday, at the mansion."

"Well well, I must admit I didn't see that coming," Hisoka says, "Do you want to go?"

"I don't know. We probably have to—"

"Uh oh. That's not what I asked, my dear. What I'm saying is, if you had to make a choice, would you go? Your last visit was hardly pleasant if I must say." Hisoka remembers how after Illumi came back from what was supposed to be a monthly report on his work he didn't leave the apartment for a week and barely pronounced a word before he broke down and explained everything to him with a blank stare, Illumi's entire body shivering and hands applying way too much pressure on Hisoka's wrists; the marks haven't faded in this past month. "I would prefer to take you on a trip to that beautiful city I read about in my magazine the other day. I got the feeling that you liked it."

"If… If I could decide, I don't think I would." 

Hisoka knows what the following sentence will be. "But…?"

"But… we should go."

"Why?"

"I don't know how they'll react if we don't go. And I don't want to find out."

"If we don't do as they say, you mean." 

"We should go," Illumi says with more conviction than before; Hisoka isn't sure if he's trying to convince him or if he's convincing himself.

"I don't think it'll be like last time. Father hasn't said anything; he even gave me a new contract yesterday and didn't send me to the basement."

"And that is good news?" Hisoka asks skeptically.

Hisoka feels Illumi nod.

"Have I ever told you your family makes me look normal in comparison? Because I wholeheartedly believe it does."

"You've said that several times before but I don’t see anything wrong with either you or my family."

Hisoka sighs. Illumi can feel his mouth smiling before the magician kisses his shoulder.

"If you've made up your mind, then we'll go." Illumi relaxes at his words. "But I'll be sure to make this experience as entertaining as I can, for everyone. "

"Sure, I wouldn't have it any other way, with you involved."

"Very well, then I shall give a good show."

"I know you will."

Hisoka bites his shoulder and Illumi lets out a low gasp in surprise.

"Darling, now I'm starting to get excited… Aren't you worried I might try to fight my in-laws? I think it would be a nice interaction as a family."

"Don't push it. That's not the kind of reunion I expect."

"Oh, my love, you know I'm joking. I wouldn't dare to hurt my lovely father-in-law, even if I think he deserves a little shaking."

Illumi squints his eyes. Hisoka will never get tired of throwing such comments against his family, will he? He's almost used to them by this point.

Suddenly, Hisoka's tone turns serious. "Darling, I promise this meeting will become a fond memory we'll laugh about in the future." Illumi can't decide whether that's a prediction or a promise, still, it doesn't really matter because Hisoka always fulfills both.

Illumi turns his head to face Hisoka. "It's just a meal, you don't have to try so hard."

"Oh, I do. " Hisoka untangles himself and gets up, only to cover Illumi with his body, arms resting on each side of Illumi's face, his gaze piercing through Illumi's entire being; Illumi doesn't apart his eyes from Hisoka's and the magician continues, "And I will ."  

Illumi nods. "Okay. I trust you."

Hisoka kisses him, hard. He can't control himself when his darling looks at him like that.

• • • •

Hisoka puts on his highest heels and his brightest earrings; they match his golden eyes. He's admiring himself on the floor-to-ceiling mirror next to his closet as he asks Illumi, "How do I look?" His hands position themselves on his waist and he sways his hips, capturing Illumi's attention.

The other man takes a moment to scan him over. "You look like you want to impress someone."

Hisoka smiles, Illumi knows him all too well. "And…? Are you impressed?" 

Illumi wants to say that this reunion isn't about him, so objectively, it doesn't really matter what he thinks, but he also knows his opinion is the only one that matters to Hisoka, so he nods. "The green eyeshadow suits you. That color is similar to…" Illumi lowers his eyes to examine his own green crop top.

"Ah… so you noticed…! I thought it would be a nice touch." Hisoka is way too pleased with himself.

"I like it. You should wear it more often." Illumi decides.

"Well, if you're asking so nicely… I could indulge you a bit."

Out of a sudden, the mood turns darker and they look at each other expectantly.

"Ready, my dear?"

Illumi stays silent. "Let's go."

• • • •

Hisoka realizes this will be fun the moment they step through the gate.

They are received by a line of butlers standing on either side of the driveway, similar to statues, each and every one of them with their gaze focused on their front, never settling their eyes on the two men who have just stepped into the mansion. Or at least that's what they're pretending to do.

Hisoka had wondered before why Illumi never asked for help from his butlers if they were always available for their use, instead of bringing the magician along, to which Illumi would reply he "didn't like them" and Hisoka had stopped prying in the matter, aware of Illumi's tastes. However, as soon as he's received by the long line of employees and the way they're eyeing his husband, he understands that the feeling is mutual. He would understand their displeasure towards him , after all, he's far too used to receiving such looks wherever he goes, whether it be Heaven’s Arena or the Hunter's Association, but he's not the only target of those accusing glances. 

Funnily enough, from all the places they've gone together, here's where his protective instinct towards Illumi spikes. His darling deserves way better than this.

Hisoka thinks back to Alluka's chasing and distantly remembers the presence of several people aiding Killua in his escape. He then briefly wonders if anyone in this house would be willing to help Illumi in any way other than their duty as butlers. He knows the answer and he suspects Illumi does, too. 

Still, Illumi doesn't react and Hisoka is not sure if it's because he didn't notice the mood change or because this is normal to him. He feels goosebumps and his bloodlust stops being as controlled as before.

"Don't fight the butlers," Illumi warns. 

Hisoka can feel everyone, except Illumi, become tense. He watches them from the side as they walk and stops abruptly in front of a tall man with a beard and glasses; he looks different from the rest of them, even if he can't point out what it is. He also feels a tiny bit familiar.

Next to him, Illumi also pauses. "It's a kiriko; I didn't think you would notice."

"Oh? I didn't know your family was this inclusive with other species, so much to receive them in their household."

"We're not. He asked for a job to hide Gotoh's death for Killua's sake." Ilumi explains, "Ah, what you see now is what a past butler, Gotoh, looked like."

"Oh, such a good friend, I'm touched… But what could've happened to the original?" 

"You killed him." Every butler's attention is focused on their conversation and Hisoka feels daggers directed at him through their eyes. He smiles truthfully for the first time since he stepped foot into this house.

"Did I? I can't remember. It mustn't have been that interesting of a fight, then."

Now, even Illumi, who doesn't care in the slightest about what other people may think, notices the communal anger from the butlers.

"Hisoka." It's just his name, but Hisoka knows Illumi is telling him to behave. 

"You don't have to worry." Hisoka smiles, observing the faces surrounding them, "I've already fought your butlers and it wasn't a particularly memorable match; you know I don't waste my time with such boring toys." 

Illumi thinks he will actually get to enjoy this.

They resume their walk and Illumi gives Hisoka a brief tour when they hear yelling coming from the kitchen. Illumi guides Hisoka until they arrive and are met with the sight of several people running from one side to the other carrying the finest cutlery and crystal glasses.

"This should have been ready ten minutes ago! My son will arrive at any moment and you can't even prepare a decent meal…! I can't believe this…"

"Mother." 

Kikyo hears Illumi's voice and immediately interrupts the scolding, running towards him and stopping in front of them, arms extended towards Illumi but too far to touch. "Illumi, you're here! We're almost ready, the table is set. Let's get going, and don't mind the butlers, they'll set everything that's missing." She turns to them again, some of them freezing in return.

Her entire focus is on Illumi because she doesn't register the presence of the man standing next to her son, so Hisoka takes his cue to greet her, holding her extended arm with both hands. "Mother! It's a pleasure to meet you. I now see where Illumi's entrancing beauty comes from."

Kikyo is faced with bright red hair; she gives him a once over. Her face reflects that she doesn't appreciate what she sees. 

She chuckles, "This can't possibly be…?"

"This is my husband, Hisoka." Illumi finishes for her.

She removes herself from Hisoka, who is not deterred by the rejection and maintains a charming smile. 

Contempt permeates her features even with the laser, her mouth twisted in an uncomfortable gesture.

"Silva-sama and Zeno-sama are waiting at the table." A butler announces and Kikyo leaves, without emitting a sound, even if she expects Illumi and his… companion to follow her.

"I made her speechless," Hisoka whispers proudly against Illumi's ear; the magician is having the time of his life. Illumi fights the urge to smile back.

The dining room has a long wooden table with candles and a flower arrangement at the center. Silva is sitting at the end of the table, with Zeno by his left. As they all step in, Kikyo sits next to Silva and Illumi sits next to her. Hisoka then sits next to Illumi before anyone can prevent him from doing so. 

No one speaks. The only sounds heard are the butlers' shoes on the marble floor, traveling from one side of the mansion to the other with trained efficiency. Hisoka feels someone's eyes on him and his first reaction is to look at Silva, whose eyes are closed, pretending to be meditating; he instead settles his gaze on the next person: Zeno, who is watching him intently. Their gazes connect and Zeno smiles at him. No words are exchanged.

Milluki arrives and complains as he sits down. "Why do I have to be here? I don't care—" He feels his father's anger just by looking in his direction and shuts up, Silva's eyes opening; when Milluki sits, those eyes are closed again. He is sitting in front of Hisoka and huffs in irritation at this. Hisoka winks at him and Milluki is disgusted, making the magician chuckle.

Soon after, Kalluto appears and sits next to Milluki. Hisoka follows his every movement as the boy avoids settling his eyes on him.

The dishes arrive. They eat.

Kikyo breaks the silence. "And… Hisoka, is it?" She says as though the mere mention of his name left a bitter taste on her tongue, "What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a hunter by profession and a magician at heart." 

Kikyo frowns and her fork makes a loud and sharp sound against the plate.

"You resemble a clown," Silva says, unexpectedly. Hisoka thought the man wouldn't acknowledge his presence unless necessary.

"Oh… father ," The aforementioned is inches away from throwing his knife at him, but Hisoka continues, "Of course, you wouldn't know the difference. Illumi tells me you never even took him to the circus."

Silva side-eyes Illumi, daring him to object to Hisoka's accusation; Illumi keeps eating, eyes fixed down on the plate, so Silva speaks.

"We were busy."

Hisoka ignores the tension those words emanate, using a pleasant tone, "Well, you shouldn't worry about that, I'm confident in my abilities to entertain him. Actually, he loves my magic tricks."

"Hm, does he?" An eyebrow is raised.

"Hisoka is very good at them," Illumi answers honestly.

Hisoka smiles at Illumi and everyone pretends not to notice the action. 

"So how did you meet?" Kikyo begins a new conversation, trying to ignore the last part.

"I was in awe when I first watched Illumi so I waited until he was free to ask him for dinner." Hisoka sugarcoats his words and Illumi almost laughs at his description of their first meeting. 

"And you accepted a date with him ?" The woman asks Illumi.

"I didn't at first, but he kept insisting."

"And I assume it was in a fancy restaurant of some sort? After all, I know my son's preferences." 

Illumi recalls his memory. "No, it was at his apartment."

Kikyo doesn't want to ask more questions.

Hisoka talks again. "And how's Danchou now that he has his nen back?" 

Kalluto takes a moment to realize the question is directed at him.

"He is fine." He isn't sure about how much information he can share with others, let alone Hisoka.

"I'm glad." The magician says, a creepy smile appearing on his face. "Actually, it's been a while since I last saw you. You look even better than last time."

Kalluto feels a shiver run down his spine remembering his brief interaction with Hisoka in Greed Island, reflecting on how the man had easily discovered his zetsu and made a remark about how "delicious" he looked.

Hisoka feels the pressure of a sharp needle close to his thigh. He turns to face Illumi and mouths a simple "Sorry" to him; the needle disappears.

"Kalluto, you know this man?" Kikyo's sharp voice resembles a scold and interrupts Kalluto's memory.

"I do, mother. He was the previous number four in the Phantom Troupe."

"I see."

"We also got to meet each other briefly thanks to Illumi," Hisoka explains, referring to that occasion when Illumi pretended to be him during the York New auction to help Hisoka have a chance of fighting Chrollo. "Now, Kalluto, would you do me a favor and send Danchou my regards?"

Kalluto's eyes travel from Hisoka to his mother, back and forth, not sure which of them makes him more nervous. 

"I will."

"I appreciate it." Hisoka looks at ease but his calm expression quickly vanishes. "Would you also tell him to stop running away and fight me for once? I'm getting tired of waiting."

Kalluto swallows, aware of his boss and Hisoka's upcoming match. He also knows Chrollo is currently in search of new abilities that might be useful against the magician and then he gets more nervous: would the integration of Hisoka into the family affect his position in the Phantom Troupe? How will he convince everyone that he didn't know about him and Illumi until now?

"I will."

Hisoka nods.

"Now that I mention it… Father, would you be interested in fighting—" 

"How's the business going?" Illumi interrupts him with his quiet and collected voice, a voice that doesn't reflect in the minimum the rise in panic its owner has just felt. He understands that right now, Silva wants nothing more than to kill Hisoka and only needs an excuse to do so; Illumi doesn't want Hisoka to propose to him a duel in fear that his father will accept. It's good enough that they were invited to a friendly reunion, but that doesn't make it acceptable to push his father's buttons. 

The magician hums in understanding. Illumi thanks Hisoka internally for not revisiting the issue.

"It's been a bit slow these days. It'll get better when winter arrives." Zeno answers.

The oldest Zoldyck reaches a conclusion.

Originally, Zeno thought his grandson's marriage was a way to have someone by his side, a permanent ally that could be useful in the shadows, however, that's not what he's witnessed so far. Even if it had been just that, he was relieved to know Illumi was mature enough to manage such an agreement, as he had previously called it. Nevertheless, right now he can see they are together for real; Zeno is too old and experienced not to notice that and, besides, he's always been good at reading people's true intentions.

He had always known Illumi was capable of loving, his sole obsession with Killua evidencing his point. Still, Zeno has always wondered whether he's able to feel such strong feelings for someone else, outside of the Zoldyck mansion. There's no way his feelings for the clown are healthy, not with the way Illumi loves, and definitely not with the way Hisoka is. Still, he thinks he moderately understands why they work together: they're opposites and equals in the same length. He didn't think there was more to Illumi other than his filial duties towards the Zoldycks, but he's been proven wrong. Good for him.

“And son, can you explain to us why you accepted marrying… Hisoka ?” Even if Kikyo had resolved herself not to ask more questions she can’t comprehend why this is happening, why would Illumi ever do something as awful as this to her, to his mother, who has done everything she could to protect him from horrible people like the one he has just married. His son deserves the best and Hisoka is not that.

Hisoka holds a laugh; it’s hilarious listening to the way his mother-in-law refers to him.

“I don’t understand. What do you mean?” Illumi replies.

“There must have been something, anything, that encouraged you to accept this marriage proposal. Help me understand why you would agree.” She’s on the verge of crying and her voice raises the longer she speaks, “Were you forced into this? Is there something you’re hiding from us? We’re your family. We have to know.”

Illumi tilts his head in confusion and stops eating for the first time since he sat down. “But I didn’t accept Hisoka’s proposal. I was the one who asked him to marry me; he’s the one that accepted .”

Kikyo gasps and stands up, her chair making a thunderous sound when hitting the ground and a wine glass breaking when it fell off the table. Several other pieces of silverware fall from the hands of the remaining guests in shock.

Illumi keeps eating.

• • • •

It’s a nice, sunny day when Hisoka and Illumi find themselves enjoying a dessert.

They’re at a fancy coffee shop, located on the third floor of a mall, resting on the soft couches found on the terrace of the restaurant. It’s too late for lunch and too early for dinner, and the weather is warmer today than it has been the previous week, so Hisoka convinced Illumi of going out to try the bubble gum flavored ice cream this place sells during summer —the magician was so insistent claiming this would be their only chance to buy it or otherwise they would have to wait until the following summer, Illumi ended up saying yes in hope Hisoka would just shut up, and honestly, it had worked—.

The ice cream is nice. Hisoka was, unfortunately, right.

Illumi had never been adept at going out and visiting new surroundings, something that changed ever since he moved in with Hisoka, when he had started spending more hours outside of home than he ever had, discovering it wasn’t as bad or boring as he had imagined.

Illumi looks down and observes the crowds of people walking, dancing, and running; from this height they aren’t bigger than mere ants. A couple of streets away there’s a church; both Hisoka and Illumi turn their eyes in its direction after hearing the bells, watching a woman step out of a car and into the building wearing a fluffy, white dress, with people around her shouting and clapping. Illumi is about to complain about the noise when Hisoka speaks.

"Have you ever thought about getting married?" He takes a scoop of ice cream and Illumi can’t identify the tone used for that question.

He voices his first thought. "I'll have to marry someone, someday."

Hisoka shakes his head and says a quiet “uh oh” but Illumi knows he isn’t annoyed by the comment. "It's not about what you 'have to' do."

“Then, if I could choose… I think I would like to.”

“Remember: you can , my dear.” Hisoka is serious and almost scary for a moment before falling back into his usual demeanor, “Although I wonder why you would see the appeal in marriage. Don’t get me wrong, but I can’t picture you with a pretty assassin wife and kids waiting for you to come home.”

Illumi chuckles; he can’t picture that either. “I just think it would be nice to have someone around. It wouldn’t be lonely.” He says, as if hearing those words wouldn’t shatter even more Hisoka’s already broken mind.

He should’ve expected something like that.

“You should marry someone you like though, I can’t imagine your parents selecting a good option for you.” Hisoka hardly trusts the Zoldyck's judgment and preferences for picking a marriage partner and Illumi deserves way better than being used as a bargaining chip in some business of sorts.

Illumi takes a second to analyze that advice. He nods; Hisoka is right.

“Would you marry me, Hisoka?”

Hisoka’s first reaction is to laugh, so that’s what he does. He is fascinated when Illumi manages to surprise him like this, even if it’s unusual for the Zoldyck to joke, Hisoka loves when the man teases him, something that only ever happens if he’s in a particularly good mood, such as today; after that, Illumi usually gives him the tiniest smile.

Except this time Illumi remains still.

“I’m being serious.”

“You surely are, my dear.” Hisoka keeps smiling, enjoying this silly, little joke they’re sharing. 

Illumi frowns and Hisoka stops laughing.

“My precious Illumi, the darling of my heart, do you actually want to get married?”

“Yes.”

“To me? ”

“Yes.” Illumi is getting annoyed.

“Not that I’m complaining, not at all. But… care to explain why? I must admit I’m a bit lost.”

“I don’t want to be stuck with someone I don’t like, so it’s better if I get to decide who to marry before they do. Besides, I’m reaching the age Father had when he married Mother so they might already be searching for potential partners at this moment, meaning I must hurry.”

"Oh… I see, so you're doing this as a way of rebelling against your family?"

Even if the Zoldyck finds that description unfitting, he thinks it serves its purpose. "Yes."

Hisoka smiles. "That sounds fun. Count me in."

He knows he's unconventional, to say the least. Illumi might not recognize his own issues, but Hisoka does. He's aware of his immoral desires and behavior and he relishes them, it’s just that he never thought he would find someone as deranged as him, let alone that this person would be willing to do something as domestic and normal as marrying him. 

That idea is insane, even by his standards. And that's the reason why he's fascinated by it.

Illumi feels the need to clarify himself, so he continues, "It's probably also because you're the person I love the most, apart from Killua, of course." 

Illumi watches golden eyes shine the brightest he has ever seen them shine. Hisoka makes a peculiar face that Illumi can’t identify if it is on the verge of crying or laughing; it’s a spectacular expression, devoid of pretenses, and even if it lasts less than a second, he immediately wishes he could see it again.

“Yes. I would love to marry you.” Hisoka says. “You can’t back down now, though.”

“I won’t.”

Hisoka stands up and bends down to kiss Illumi in a bruising kiss. The ice cream is all over the table but neither of them minds.

In the distance, the bells ring again.

• • • •

Silva controls himself, not giving the satisfaction to the clown. Kikyo looks at him with pleading eyes, asking him to do something but he shakes his head and glances at the chair on the floor. A butler arrives and adjusts it, then Kikyo sits down slowly and calls for another butler to clean the mess caused by the spilled wine.

"Your mother told me the wedding was at the beach." Silva asks, trying to shift the attention.

"Yes, it was." Illumi answers.

"Was it Hisoka's idea?" 

"No, it was mine. Hisoka was against it, actually."

"How come?" Silva, for the first time since he had to sit down at the same table with Hisoka, smiles. The idea that not everything is perfect between those two makes him feel better because it means there is hope for him to get back his son. This also distracts him from the fact that Illumi decided something as mundane as getting married on a beach, of all places; it doesn't suit him.

"I'm afraid that puts me in a bad light, father," Hisoka intervenes, cheerfully amused, "I just thought it would be impractical since our suits would be dirty with sand and the sea breeze makes my hair frizzy. Still, I obviously accepted; I can't deny my Illu-chan anything."

Milluki makes a disgusted face and feels even worse when Illumi isn't disturbed by the endearing term.

Silva stops smiling and Zeno laughs at the change in expression. He's the only one, other than the youngest couple, who's enjoying this meal; the rest can't wait to leave their seats.

"Is that so?"

"Hm." Illumi nods, "I would say Hisoka is easily convinced."

The aforementioned gives him a huge smile, "Not at all, it's just that nothing makes me happier than pampering my husband."

Illumi discovers this isn't as difficult as he had feared. Maybe it's because this time Hisoka is with him.

An uncomfortable silence settles once again.

"Have you told them about our adventures at the hunter exam?" The magician talks and Kikyo is thankful that the dessert arrives because she can't stand another second of this ridiculous gathering.

Illumi watches Hisoka in silence. He knows what he's doing but so far he finds his actions more entertaining than troublesome; in fact, he finds it remarkable how his family's face distorts more the longer Hisoka speaks.

"Ah, you shouldn't be so modest my dear!" He tells Illumi as he places his left hand on the other’s arm, lingering for a moment before retracting, a movement that doesn't go unnoticed by the others, and then turns to the rest. "If it weren't for him I wouldn't have passed the exam."

It's clear that now anyone can remove their eyes from Illumi and Hisoka's matching rings.

"Really? What did he do?" Zeno asks, genuinely curious and deliberately ignoring this new piece of information.

"Well, he guided me through the third phase so that I could find the final location, as I got busy with some stuff and didn't have much time left." 

"Were you attacked?" Milluki asks with disdain, implying Hisoka had been weak enough to allow himself to get attacked. It's the first time he's spoken since they sat down at the table, but everyone can see that it's a naive question.

"Mmm... I wouldn't say that. I was just having fun and lost track of time."

Zeno huffs. He has read the file Silva got on the clown when he first found out about Hisoka's existence, so he's aware of the magician's reputation for attacking both examiners and participants during the hunter exam. He doesn't really understand people who don't treat killing as a job, even if it's definitely not something new for any of them.

"I also gave you a tag during the third phase." Illumi speaks, releasing a bit of the tension formed.

"Oh, that's true! Thanks to that I completed the six points." 

No one really knows what they're talking about. Silva can’t take his eyes off the rings.

Hisoka would fear he’s enjoying himself too much, but he firmly believes there’s no such thing as an excess of pleasure.

Honestly, he didn't expect Illumi to actually wear the ring, even if he takes it out whenever he goes to finish a contract, claiming "it's not easy to clean blood from jewelry". Hisoka constantly refutes his statement with empirical evidence; he loves how his ring shines against the dull skin of a body he's holding by the throat. And the way his finger hurts whenever he's throwing a punch reminds him of his darling, so, needless to say, he only takes it off when he showers.

He doesn't know where Illumi keeps the ring. He only knows it always appears on his finger whenever he's with Hisoka, so it doesn't matter.

Hisoka remembers the day he dropped to his knees —his body hitting the hard concrete without a care in the world— and softly reached Illumi’s delicate hand to put the expensive gold ring on his finger, receiving an astonished face in response, as if Hisoka would ever let Illumi get married without a ring, of all things; Illumi should’ve known by that point that Hisoka was a hopeless romantic. He also remembers making a comment about how good he looked when being on his knees, even if Illumi didn’t appreciate it that much.

And last, but not least, he relishes the memory of the hard kiss Illumi gave him afterward, making Hisoka fall down and end up with Illumi on top of him.

Ah, remembering such fond moments put him in an even better mood.

Everyone finishes eating and the butlers arrive to take away the dishes.

The oldest Zoldycks exchange glances, waiting for someone to thank the guests for accepting their invitation and escorting them to the door, the way all respectable owners should. However, silence fills the entire room.

Kalluto has his eyes fixed on his empty glass of water, while Milluki continues trying to kill Hisoka with his gaze. Kikyo stands firm on her intention to pretend this meal never happened and his oldest son didn’t actually marry… who he married; on the end of the table, Silva is focused on the flower arrangement located at the center, deliberately avoiding anyone who might be looking in his direction.

Zeno sighs, amused at the ridiculous antics of this family. “Illumi, Hisoka, thank you for joining us. We all hope you enjoyed this brief moment together.”

Illumi nods. “We should get going. Thank you, Father and Mother, for inviting us,” He turns to his parents as he talks, standing up from his chair, “Now, if you’ll excuse us.”

The magician repeats the motion, not before adding a last comment with an enormous smile on his face. “I just want to say that this was lovely , let’s do it again sometime soon, shall we? My husband and I will be excited to visit you.”

There’s no answer, but Hisoka wasn’t expecting one.

Zeno accompanies them till they reach the entrance door.

“See you later, Illumi.” He receives silence in response and turns to the redhead. “It was nice to meet you, Hisoka.” He is oddly sincere, Illumi realizes.

Still, Hisoka doesn’t like the oldest Zoldyck. He smiles and grabs Illumi’s hand; they take their time to reach the gate, Hisoka absentmindedly caressing the hand he’s holding.

• • • •

As soon as Illumi and Hisoka step outside of the Zoldyck’s land, Silva stands up and leaves to his office, making everyone do the same, although in a less violent manner. Milluki and Kalluto return to his room and Kikyo goes to the garden, briefly wishing to have someone to vent to, someone who would listen to her lamenting the tragedy that’s taken place within the family; Gotoh was the ideal butler in that sense and she can’t help but miss him at times.

Zeno is the only one who follows Silva and begins to talk when they reach their destination, asking him, "Why are you so angry with this situation?" 

Silva breaks the carefully subdued rage, "Other than the fact that Illumi married someone —a crazy clown, at that— in secret and now acts as if nothing happened?"

Zeno understands the actual reason for Silva's anger: that he no longer has Illumi wrapped around his finger the way he always had and thought he always would. This little affair of his reflects a break in Illumi’s previous undying loyalty to the family, making him a possible threat. Illumi has always been the perfect assassin: an emotionless, efficient soldier, just waiting for his orders to complete them, no matter the circumstances. Except that said pawn now has proven to have motivations and desires; it's funny how no one expected Illumi to ever behave like an actual human being.

Silva despises this change. 

Zeno stands in the middle of the office with no intention of talking.

“What are you thinking?” He asks his father.

"At first I thought Illumi might've been doing this with a secret agenda in mind, but after seeing those two I'm sure that whatever's going on between them is real." 

Silva laughs, “You really think those two have an actual marriage?”

"I don’t believe you didn’t see how protective they were of each other." Silva might not be as sharp-eyed as him but one would have to be blind not to notice how natural and comfortable their interactions were, “Don’t bury your head in the sand.”

“So what if it’s real? Illumi will come back. He’s my son , after all. He will see the mistake he has made and will come back apologizing for his actions.”

Zeno shrugs. 

"Why don’t you care about this problem? Would you be happy it if your son married someone like that?" Silva continues.

"You're talking as if I liked who my son married." 

The other man doesn't even acknowledge the remark. 

Zeno resumes his point, "Hisoka is strong so he won't be a nuisance. Also, you have to admit he's the most interesting thing that's happened to this family in a while."

"Easy for you to say that."

The oldest Zoldyck chooses to provide some help to his struggling son, explaining that Silva is missing the most important thing. "My point is, Illumi is not the heir. What he does isn’t important because it simply doesn’t affect the family." Silva ponders on that, so he continues. "It might even be for the better, he's so infatuated with the clown he won't be causing problems for Killua."

Silva analyzes his father’s words. He calms down.

“You’re right. Everything he does ends up pushing Killua away from the family.”

“Exactly. So what could be better than Illumi finding something to entertain himself with?”

Zeno smiles. Silva sees this in a new light.

• • • •

When they come home, they don’t mention a word regarding the dinner they’ve just shared, instead, they take a shower together —by Hisoka’s insistence— and get ready for bed. Illumi admires with attention how Hisoka removes his makeup and the magician takes out his fluffiest quilt now that the night feels colder than yesterday.

Illumi asks Hisoka if his feet don’t hurt with the shoes he was using and the magician shakes his head, starting a rambling about how Illumi would look fantastic with them, beginning a whole new dissertation regarding their clothes, which culminates in them realizing they should go shopping soon. The mention of shopping reminds Illumi that they’ve run out of strawberries so Hisoka won’t be able to make his fancy smoothies and…

They have a peaceful sleep.

Only when they’re having breakfast does Hisoka bring the subject up.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine. Being home makes me feel at ease.”

“Glad to hear so.” Hisoka smiles and serves him coffee; Illumi is using his favorite mug right now, he notices, so that’s a good sign. He then continues, “And how did you feel yesterday?”

“A bit tired, but the bath helped. Sleeping with that comforter also helped, I suppose.”

“And… What's your opinion about yesterday’s dinner?”

Illumi pauses for a moment, thinking about his answer, “It was tolerable. Much better than last time and less bad than I imagined it would be,” he says, “It was like that thanks to you.”

Hisoka is proud. 

“I'm just fulfilling my duties as a husband.” He says with false modesty that Illumi doesn’t buy. 

That’s more than enough for Hisoka.

“Sure.” Illumi replies, unconvinced. When Hisoka’s gaze doesn’t leave him, Illumi knows he’s up to something. “What is it?”

Hisoka shakes his head. “Nothing, my dear. I just think you have an amazing husband.”

“And my amazing husband wants something, doesn’t he?”

“Ah, my darling knows me so well. You know, meeting your family… I mean, my new family , made me wonder something…” he starts. "Can I take your last name?" Hisoka asks and when Illumi puts on a serious face thinking this is one of his jokes, he continues, "Wouldn't you love to hear how I'm introduced as Hisoka Zoldyck in my next match, here in the Arena?”

The question makes Illumi astonished for a few seconds. 

For Hisoka to put himself on display as his husband…

“Since my parents already know, I can’t see why not.”

Hisoka is drowning in bliss. “Thank you, my love.” He grabs Illumi’s head to give him a bruising kiss on his forehead and turns around to prepare his own cup of coffee, happily exposing his thoughts, “I can’t wait to see my opponents’ faces when they hear the name. I’ll make sure to win every single battle in your honor...”

Hisoka has won every battle but Illumi doesn’t point that out. He takes a sip from his coffee, hearing Hisoka’s speech in the background when he catches the ending words: “...They’ll see I have the best husband in the world.” 

Hisoka winks at him.

Alas, Hisoka is a liar and Illumi knows it. 

He shakes his head. “Liar. That title belongs to you.”

Hisoka is speechless for a moment and now Illumi is the one who feels proud.

This wasn’t a mistake , Illumi concludes.