Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“A-Yuan.”  A soft voice called from above the small boy, weak and not exactly what the he thought it should sound like. The voice was so lost, nothing like what he thought he should remember. “I’m so sorry, A-Yuan…”

It was like the voice was talking to itself, but Lan Sizhui could hear it.

Warm silver eyes kissed in mauve hues tiredly fluttered open, landing drearily on ashy black strands flowing over messy, torn robes in dark hues. That hair was messily framing a ghastly white face covered in scuffs and scratches, dimmed eyes of pale anthracite blue filled with burning tears beneath their fringe. Despite the alarming amount of blood on their robes and face however, they left no stains. He could see through this man, sections of their body broken off into pieces like they may scatter, leaning over his bedside like a grieving mother.

Lan Sizhui’s mind couldn’t quite focus on how he felt in that moment, he was too feverish and the scene confused him. However when he felt a ghostly chill touch his small, round cheek, he shivered, watching the misplaced figure quickly pull away his hand as if burned to the reaction.

His little lip trembled, and the boy started to cry, causing the figure to retreat until sitting and hugging their knees on the floor at the end of the bed.

“A-Yuan?” A deeper, tired voice came from the other side of the room which was soon followed by rustling blankets and steps. The slow approaching figure moved the privacy screen aside so he could come over, kneeling slowly beside the bed. The white-robed cultivator’s body was wrapped up in inner robes and bandages that covered much of their chest and parts of exposed limbs, but he didn’t let the pain show even in his own quarters.

Their voice and approach soothed the little boy slightly, sniffling softly as he reached out his arms to the large hands which came to soothe him. “Is A-Yuan alright? You’ll get better soon…it’s okay, it’s okay…I’m right here, gege will stay here.”

The man’s face…it made that figure at the end of the bed curl up tighter, holding their head desperately as if wishing they couldn’t see the man. The man that soothed the little boy had no light left in his eyes, the only thing seeming to keep him from completely losing their focus being this child. Eyes usually full of frost and sunlight, full of things that were hard to place, instead dim and sore like tarnished silver.

Lan Sizhui clasped the fingers on his body and pulled the hand close to his face to hug, nuzzling against it like a stuffed toy rather than someone’s hand, but the man made no move to stop him. Instead he brought his other hand to the boy’s head to stroke his ashy hair softly, at the same time checking for fever.

Lan Sizhui wasn’t actually sure he was seeing right, the person didn’t necessarily scare him, but as his A-Zhan didn’t ever acknowledge it, he was confused and unsure if he should bring up anything to bring focus to the matter. He was so sad, though unsure why, and as a result he cried and cried without restraint.

He hiccupped, sobbed, and held that hand tight. “A-A…Z-Zhan-gege…”

He was gently shushed with soft whispers, a side the man hadn’t had the pleasure of using with the one he loved. But the thing that really eased the boy was the soft hum of some song, low and mourning in his keeper’s chest. He never heard or didn’t remember the words, but something about it reminded him of kind, tired eyes. Always kind, sometimes afraid, sometimes lost like the man above him. His eyes fluttered closed, allowing the sound to wash over him in soothing waves, his little hands slowly relaxing until his body fell back into peaceful rest.

⁃ ⁃ ⁃ ⁃ ―  ⁃ ⁃ ⁃  ★  ⁃ ⁃ ⁃  ― ⁃ ⁃ ⁃ ⁃

“A-Yuan,” The black-clad cultivator gently moved the sweaty fringe from the toddler’s forehead, a small and frail thing, flushed with fever. “Qing-jie is working on the best medicine for you, and when you’re better, I’ll take you to that restaurant in Caiyi you like, where Lan Zhan bought you that porridge. You’d like that right? You have to recover quickly so you’re strong enough to go.”

The man’s lip trembled for a moment before he pursed his lips, sighing slowly as to calm himself down. It wasn’t the worst illness, anything was bad in this situation though. He considered sending a letter to Lan Wangji, but it wouldn’t arrive soon enough anyway and even then, dragging the man into their problems was another reason not to. He was already doing plenty just by not showing the same level of hate for everyone here that the others did.

Lan Wangji was the best man, even if he hated this cultivator. He’d treated A-Yuan so nicely when he’d seen him the other day, it had almost made him want to see if his friend would help him hide the boy away, but he couldn’t. He had a grandmother, he had family. He was too afraid to separate them, and too afraid to keep them together. It was a turbulent state of indecision. He feels that he should have ran far, far away, hid all the Wen’s identity, and lived with them quietly as their silent protector.

If only that option hadn’t been so far from home. He hadn’t defected from his sect yet then, and it was too late now. There were too few people, too little chance of escape, and too many were weak or old. Getting anywhere safely and quickly wasn’t in a realm of possibility, and if they left he was sure they’d be located again very quickly.

They would be hunted to the end of their days.

He  would be hunted to the end of his days.

If only the path he walked was a little wider. A little less treacherous- maybe then he could at least get these people somewhere safe. But he couldn’t afford to regret that decision. Even if his brother hated him until his last breath, or beyond it into the grave, he would take it. But that didn’t leave him feeling any less hopeless than now. If he could just trickle a bit of spiritual energy he could ease the boy’s fever, but he had none. All he had was an incessant screaming in his ears from the earth below them, cackling whispers or heated curses.

As he lowered his head to the hands he had on top of the child, he hummed quietly the song Lan Wangji had when he was weak with fever, hoping to pass on a bit of the strength the song brought to himself. Like that cool spring in his friend’s home, the calm washed over him and shocked him in such a pleasant way, like a melody that was just his.

He had to keep something to hope for in such a situation. Hope for his family to be able to see him again, Hope that this wasn’t for nothing. Even if he knew he could no longer be what Lan Wangji wanted him to be, he still hoped that there would be some way the other could accept his presence.

How he wished he knew the words to this song. He hoped he could hear the man sing it again one day. Yeah… He found himself having to wipe his face, trying his best not to cry over the child. One day things can be better. Even if just a little. I have to stay strong.

“Wei Ying.” A warm hand on his shoulder broke him from his thoughts, head snapping up to meet eyes of morning dew, brows knitted a bit with something that had become increasingly familiar: something like discomfort. Had he seen?

“Ah- Lan Zhan! You snuck up on me!” Wei Ying cried in a whisper, carefully distancing himself from the sick child so the two could talk in low voices across the room. He sat on a raised stone, only gently brushing his work aside to take a look at the man. “What are you doing here? Who let you into the barrier?”

“Wen Qing.” Lan Wangji spoke at a low tone to match Wei Ying’s, looking over at the boy then back at the other man. “I was in the area…I wanted to come and see how things were, with you living here in the winter…it seems like I came at a good time.”

Wei Ying was equal parts relieved and worried, considering now the second jade was involved even though he had made such an effort for him not to be. “Oh that’s good, that means she will be finishing his medicine soon…”

Lan Wangji nodded, then approached the boy. “How come you’re not using spiritual energy?” He asks carefully, starting to do said thing to help the child with his fever, so he could be a bit more comfortable. 

The question made the man stiffen. This was definitely something hard to answer without sounding like a complete asshole without the truth. “A-ah, I just, I ran out already! Low stock, it’s hard for me to keep warm and I have to keep the barrier strong, you know? Lots of people want to pick fights, lots of corpses to deal with…!”

The white-clad cultivator glances back at the other, before looking back to the child. “You should conserve it better. Do you need someone around to assist you until he’s better?” It felt less like a question though, no matter how many times the stunned man ran it over his mind again.

“You? Help us?” Wei Ying quietly stood next to him, furrowing his brow slightly but then grinning, “Ah, you really like this boy huh?” He decided to avert his thoughts from the initial less believable one. “I’m sure it would make him happy to be taken care of by his rich-gege,” He teased, “but there are no places for you to rest properly here, unless you wanna sleep on the rocks too.”

Lan Wangji looked back at him, eyes softening in a weird way that Wei Ying wasn’t sure he was seeing right. Maybe he wasn’t eating or sleeping enough to keep the hallucinations at bay.

“I have a straw roll.” He answered quietly, “I’ll just skip my night hunt for now.” 

He once again held in his surprise, “Ah, you’re such a good man, Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying gently smacked Lan Wangji's back, giving him his trademark grin. “Once A-Yuan is better, maybe his rich-gege will take us to get him some porridge.”

Lan Wangji froze for a moment as he felt how much power was behind that strike. Well…the other had said he was very low on spiritual energy. Wait, but no…even when he’s on empty he would still try to help people, so that didn’t make sense. He was probably just thinking too hard about it, it wasn’t like Wei Ying was trying to hit his hardest just now, but…comparing it to his old ones, it felt weird.

While his thoughts were going through his mind, he tried to keep the apprehensiveness that he thinks may be showing at bay, “Mn, I do not mind.” He reached out a hand, moving to touch his meridian. “Wei Ying too, here-“

Wei Ying flinched his arm away, giving a what he hopes isn’t a nervous smile to the man. “Ah, no need for that. Save it for A-Yuan, he needs it much more than me. Plus, I’m sure I’ll be righted again in no time.” Not a good long-term excuse. He’d have to see what else he could come up with while Lan Wangji was here, especially if A-Yuan was sick too long.

The movement froze Lan Wangji in his tracks, and he eventually retreated the hand back to the small boy. “I won’t force you.” He said simply, even if his mind was reeling with possibilities.

“Don’t worry Lan Zhan,” He nudges the other and smiles, in that too-tired way he had ever since he joined into the war so long ago now. “I’m not fifteen anymore. I can handle this! Some rest and I’ll be good.”

“And will you?” He countered.

“Well, probably.”

“Is there a way I can help?”

Wei Ying paused, rubbing his chin for a moment. “The great Hanguang-Jun wants to help the yiling laozu sleep?” He probably couldn’t sleep, no matter what, but what was he to say? He was regretting his decision to allow his friend to stay already, but it was too late now.

“I could make an attempt. If you will let me.” He turns once the boy seems to be in a better state, moving back to his friend’s side so he could take a look at him. “You’re more tired every time we meet.” His eyes easily portrayed his thoughts, You can’t keep this up forever. “Once someone is watching Wen Yuan, I could take a trip to the market so everyone and him can have a good meal.”

“Ah, you wouldn’t get in trouble for something like that, would you?” He questions quietly, holding his hands behind his back and quirking up a brow. “It’s one thing if it’s me and A-Yuan once in a while, but won’t your sect notice such a big purchase?” Just the thought of him getting caught up in their affairs made his chest hurt in a way that he wasn’t used to already. “You already are breaking rules just being here.”

Lan Wangji seemed to think about it briefly, but to the other, he could tell he was just pretending to. “It won’t be too bad, buying ingredients instead of dishes will be cheaper.” He turns his head as he hears footsteps, bringing his hands together in salute and bowing to the figure as they walked in, brother at her side, with a tray of medicine and water. “Wen Qing.” He offered politely.

She bowed her head, while her brother also returned the gesture, speaking in somewhat unison, “Hanguang-jun.” She sets the tray down, turning to the two while Wen Ning worked on waking up the sleeping patient. “Thank you for giving A-Yuan a bit of relief. It’ll be easier for him to take his medicine.”

He shook his head slowly, “There is no need for thanks. I am happy to help.” He then stands up a bit straighter, “I would like to take Wei Ying with me to the market, to pick up some ingredients for everyone to eat, and some food for my temporary stay so as to not be a burden. Is there anything in particular A-Yuan likes?”

After a particularly embarrassing session of scolding from Wen Qing, Wei Ying was forced to accompany his friend down the mountain. Not that he wouldn’t enjoy the trip, it was just another thing that would dirty the man’s reputation, and he didn’t much care for involving anyone not already involved. Since he was already here though, he might as well make himself a nuisance to make up for lost time.

“Ahhhh, Lan Zhan, it’s so cold out here,” He groaned, arms behind his head as he fell into step beside the other. “Can I have a reward for coming down away from the fire with you?” He grinned, as shameless as he used to be.

“Wei Ying, are you truly cold?” Lan Wangji asks, those frosty eyes glancing in his direction as if to determine the other’s level of seriousness from posture alone.

“So cold, so cold.” He grins, “unless the great Hanguang-Jun wants to hold my hand?” He teases more, not picking up the other’s serious mental debate on whether he should or not do so. “my fingers get rather icy during this time of year, don’t you think?” He paps his hand on the back of Lan Wangji’s neck, earning a jolt.

“Wei Ying!” He scolds as the cultivator warms the space next to them with his laughter. He sighs, “Your hands are cold, we can stop for tea, your spiritual energy must indeed be very low.”

“Ah, it’s okay. We shouldn’t take too long or else A-Yuan might cry.” Wei Ying smiles, swaying from side to side. “So, Where first?”

Wei Ying was pretty impressed by just how much Lan Wangji could carry with just his arms.

“A-Aiyah, Lan Zhan, you should let me carry something. I’m not a maiden.” He crossed his arms, as Lan Wangji shook his head once more.

“We’re at our last stop, you’ll need your hands.”

They paused in front of a tailor shop, and this was when he realized just what Lan Wangji had meant. “Wha, Lan Zhan, you’re not really intending on getting me something are you?” He stared, but as the man didn’t move, he eventually relented. “I can’t believe you sometimes.” Is he that concerned over my temperature? He hummed and entered, “What do you want me to get then? There are many different things here.”

Lan Wangji walked in, moving towards the coats with Wei Ying following behind like a confused duckling. 

“Cloaks?”

Lan Wangji nodded, “Pick one.” He waited patiently as the man ran his hands carefully over the daily selection, though they were all mainly neutral in color. It wasn’t going to be anything of noteworthy class, but it would be warm and made decently, better than him continuing to go around in old, dyed Wen robes. The thought made the man glance down at Wei Ying’s sleeves, the red the only thing surviving whatever dyed that fabric so dark.

What had made the man change into such clothes? He wore Wen robes even before the war had ended, but it was after he went missing for three months. What had the man gone through to possibly justify having to scrap his old clothes for that of a corpses? Or had it been something else?

He mentally snapped back to however when Wei Ying lifted a dark cloak, a nicely sized hood and lined with fur of some sort. Along the sleeves and the bottom there was embroidery of mist or a fog, a single moon embroidered along the shoulder line. It was very simple, but the embroidery hadn’t been messily done. It was a good product for this stall to produce, so his friend had picked it out with a careful eye. It would be perfect for him.

“What a diamond in the rough! Look at this embroidery Lan Zhan!” He smiled, turning the fabric over in his hands. “If only there was a white one for you! We-“ He paused, trailing off. What was he saying? Matching? Who would want to match with him? Plus, that wasn’t really a friendship thing, right? That was probably too much. “Ah I mean the design would look better on you.” He corrected with a smile that hid his slip-up.

“Mn…” Lan Wangji looked at the cloak then at the stand, eyes widening slightly. There really was a matching cloak there. He sat down his bags carefully and then lifted the other one, hearing his friend gasp quietly beside him.

“Lan Zhan I can’t believe it, that one is even better suited to you!” Wei Ying reached out to gently touch the bright embroidery on the pale, nearly white, blue robes. The fur was like a winter sun, and it reminded him of the other’s eyes. “You have to get it Lan Zhan, think of how handsome you’d be! Well, not that you aren’t already.” He waves a hand and grins. “I’ll pick another design, take it!”

“Wei Ying takes the one he picked. I’ll take this one.” He gently removes the cloak from Wei Ying’s hands, watching as their eyes widened minutely before his smile changed into something softer.

“Alright, if Lan Zhan insists. I should be very warm in this, right?” Wei Ying leans down to finally grab one of the lighter sacks, sticking his tongue out at the other before grinning. “Tricked you, I finally get to carry something!”

“Shameless,” His friend replied, moving a bit away to the stall owner so that he could pay for the items. 

While up front, Wei Ying started to count what they’d bought for dinner, not paying attention to his friend until the cloak was settled over his back and tied into place. His usually lifeless cheekbones colored slightly, but if anything, he’d amount it to the cold if asked. “Ah, thanks. It really does feel nice, been a while since I’ve worn one!” He beams, pulling the cloak closer around him closely with a shiver. This really would help keep him warm, he was secretly glad Lan Wangji decided to be spontaneous.

“It suits you.” Lan Wangji quietly leaned down to secure the bags again once his own cloak had been secured. He probably needed to take his off once they were back, as he was already plenty warm with his core thrumming healthily, but it was easier to carry this way.

Dinner had been served and eaten as a family, and Lan Wangji had found himself slightly surprised. He already knew the people in the burial mounds were weak, defenseless people and weren’t the monsters the sects were painting them as, but he hadn’t expected them to so flawlessly accept him into the circle as if he wasn’t one of the sects that was refusing to aid them. They were warm, smiling. It was like this family wasn’t even Wens, but Weis. 

Of course they couldn’t match Wei Ying’s light, but it still surprised him. How did such a group of people ever even fall under the name of Wen? He found that his plate kept filling with offerings from other’s chopsticks, these people who had so little were trying to make sure he had his fill, even though he was completely able to get food whenever he needed and was in no way super hungry tonight. He felt a weird pit in his stomach at such kind gestures, watching as the ghost general smiled as much as he could with those rigid facial muscles of his. Wen Qing must have started giving him facial massages to help with that rigidity, as it was a bit better than it was when he’d first came back to consciousness.

These people were nothing like the rumors.

In fact, they were just about the opposite. He found himself wishing he could help Wei Ying, but he couldn’t stay here. He had family and sect, and these people at the moment didn’t seem to be in immediate danger anyway, though he was greatly concerned with Wei Ying’s well being and health. Whatever spiritual problem he had, as well…

A-Yuan had long been moved a while ago to be watched by someone else for the time being, so when they returned to Wei Ying’s cave it was quiet and dark. The man lit red candles, the grotto strangely comfortable for being in a place filled with such resentment. The entire cavern was large, but this particular grotto was smaller, cozy in a way but quite chilly at this hour even with the fire nearby.

Inevitably, it made him worry about the other again, wondering now if Wei Ying could make it through winter like this, not to mention now with his spiritual energy being low. Well, at least the other could use his cloak over the blankets, but… He eyed the rather terrible ‘bed’ the other slept on. Stone with some leaves and straw, which meant he’d never really be able to stay warm.

Couldn’t he just let him give a bit of spiritual energy? He found it frustrating that his friend refused help at every turn. He knelt to the cleanest section of the room, quietly unpacking his belongings so that it would be ready for when he laid down to sleep while Wei Ying flopped in front of his rudimentary table, picking up small tools and a brush as if deciding whether to work on a talisman or one of the strange tools he invents first.

 “You know, you can change your mind. You don’t have to sleep in my dreary cave and try to get me to sleep, there’s plenty of decent inns in Yiling you know.” Wei Ying stretched as he leaned back on the cold stone. “You can always walk back tomorrow.”

 “I’ll be staying here, Where I can quickly be of help when needed.” He shifts his arms up to remove the guqin from his back, standing up so he could walk back towards the other. “Work can wait, Wei Ying. Don’t try to stay awake longer.” He confiscates said man’s tools and brushes and sets them aside, causing the man to groan.

“Lan Zhan, it’s not that late!”

“Wei Ying, you are not in peak form.” He quickly answered, “and it is late for me, so I will be trying to get you to rest sooner than later.”

Wei Ying hummed, lips downturned slightly in a somewhat pouty way. “I’m not that bad off.” He countered, “But fine, fine.” He crossed his legs, moving to sit on his cold bed. He suppressed the shiver that involuntarily ran up his spine from the cold touch on the back of his thighs, rearranging the dry foliage a bit before fixing the spot to be a bit warmer with what he had. Lan Wangji looked on quietly, watching as he placed one of the blankets on top and then sandwiched himself between that and the others on top. So he was right, it was very cold.

“Wei Ying,” He called softly, “Are you sure you don’t want to sleep on the straw roll instead?” He had offered earlier, but now…

“Ah you worry too much Lan Zhan!” He grinned, peeking out from the covers like the cute gremlin he was. “besides, if I did that I’d want you to sleep beside me, and you might just lose your wits thinking about something so shameless!” He laughed as the jade froze, indeed breathing out ‘shameless’ softly as if offended but in the sweetest way.

Ah…why couldn’t things feel like this more often? In moments like this, he could mistake the other’s disdain for worry.

The song he played on that guqin of his- ah it was cleansing wasn’t it? It didn’t feel particularly nice, considering his body was so engrained with resentful energy now, but the usual noise of the dead did calm down, thus making him feel relieved in a way. While it made his body ache, his head felt much needed relief, and his body relaxed in a way he had all but forgotten the feeling of since before the war. He hadn’t even realized he closed his eyes until he heard the song change, pulling him back into awareness a bit.

Good thing, since his body didn’t quite like cleansing as it used to. Instead, it was replaced with other mindless tunes, probably all written in Gusu, polished to perfection. Who knew the great Hanguang-Jun would actually be able to subdue the demon? Falling asleep at such a normal time.

He felt warm.