Chapter Text
You wrapped me up in the colour of love
In the moonlight, baby
It must have been an angel came down from above
Giving me love, yeah
Giving me love, yeah
You gave me the kiss of life
Kiss of life
-“Kiss of Life” by Sade
There were a lot of things that sucked about being an adult, but I’d ended up a lucky gal in the employment department.
You see, I worked for Sergeant James “Bucky” Barnes—and yes, the nickname is by his insistence—who was an attorney at law. He’d founded Barnes and Associates about four years ago after he retired from the military after a major injury that had won him a Purple Heart, but lost his left arm. After that, he’d decided he’d had enough of fighting physical battles and turned his attention towards legal battles. The law firm worked exclusively with veterans, as they were underrepresented and often overlooked by the system, so he’d set up shop with the intent as helping as many of them as possible. He took his work quite seriously, even going as far as to assign each of his clients sessions with his associate, Sam Wilson, who worked at the VA as a counselor.
Not only was it great working for a noble and very worthy cause, but I actually liked Bucky as a person. On the outside, he seemed like a crabby old man, but once you got past his crusty layers, he was a consummate gentleman, an intelligent and dynamic attorney, and a thoughtful employer. It was the first place I’d ever worked where the general consensus seemed to be positive and healthy. Everyone enjoyed working there no matter what position they had. It paid well and had plenty of benefits, plus Bucky made a point to hire as many veterans as humanly possible.
When I walked in one fateful Monday morning, I found my boss sitting at his desk with an ice pack on his forehead, his arms limp in his chair, his body slouched back in the chair as if exhausted. And I knew he was. I never knew the specifics, but I knew that Bucky had a, let’s say, rollicking social life after the clock struck six in the evening. I’d been working here for a little over a year and was entirely used to my boss having a massive hangover after a night of what I assumed were thrills.
“Morning, boss,” I said as I shut the door to his office. It was an enormous space, intended to serve as a temporary living space if he caught a high-profile case that doubled or even tripled his work hours. He had two sets of black leather fold-out couches situated across from a coffee table with a flat-screen TV mounted on the far wall. There were two gigantic bookshelves to the left of the TV stuffed with all kinds of law books. He had a private bathroom through the door to my left and a mini-fridge and wet bar on the other side of the TV. His glass desk was always pristine with his Mac set up with two screens and the usual mountain of paperwork. He had a private filing cabinet with a key that only the two of us could access while the rest of the filing was over by my desk outside of his office.
“Morning, gorgeous,” he said without lifting his head, his voice tired and flat, but sincere nonetheless. “You’re looking at what remains of Sergeant Barnes.”
“I noticed,” I said with a teasing tone, placing the fresh paperwork atop the stack nearest to him. I then picked up the ice pack and brandished a thermos where he could see it. “Hair of the dog.”
“God bless you,” Bucky said with a sigh, popping the top and slurping down a mouthful of the horrid concoction I kept on hand for his hangovers. The ingredients were absolutely disgusting, but it worked like a charm every time; he’d be right as rain by lunchtime. “What’s new, pussycat?”
“Your first meeting is at ten o’clock.” I tapped the accordion folder I’d just put down. “Everything’s in there. I’ll have the conference room ready fifteen ‘til. Delivery from Jason’s Deli will be promptly at nine-thirty. After that, you have a lunch date with Eileen at noon, then you’ve got the hiring event with Sam at the VA at two. After that, you’re off the hook for the day.”
“Thank God. I’m definitely barely in the mood for people today, present company excluded.”
I lifted my eyebrows. “Rough night?”
“You don’t wanna know,” he said frankly as he opened the accordion folder and began flipping through pages to double check. His wintry eyes read through things like a hawk in record time and then he nodded as he tucked it back into the folder. “Immaculate as always. What came in over the weekend?”
“A few checks,” I said, offering the envelopes to him. “And an invitation to a charity ball at the end of next month.”
“Shit. Forgot about that. I’m supposed to show up and give a speech, right?”
“Yep.”
“Mmkay. You can go ahead and send the reply. I’ll have to dig up a date at some point, so RSVP for a plus one as well.”
“Got it. The externship is coming up as well, so I sent you the itinerary for approval and then I just need to put the lunch order in for the candidates. Do you want sandwiches or tacos?”
“I’ll never say no to a good taco.”
“Perfect. I’ll put in for the taco bar, then.”
“I wouldn’t last a day without you,” Bucky told me severely. “Never leave me.”
I stifled a giggle. “I plan to stick around, if it makes you feel any better.”
“It does, trust me. Have you had breakfast yet?”
“No, just coffee and a granola bar.”
“Cool. I’m ordering a giant fuck-off breakfast and I expect you to join me.”
“I’m not going to stop you.”
He grinned as he grabbed his phone. “French toast and bacon?”
“You know me like a book, Barnes.”
Bucky chuckled and dialed while I scooped up his outgoing papers and headed back into the suite to pass them out. The food arrived in half an hour and I sat at his desk deciphering some of his notes as I ate. The rest of the day ran on by and by closing hours, he and I were holed up in his office going through all the CVs and resumes from the hiring event. To be honest, times like now were what I enjoyed most about working for him. He was such a hardworking, genuine person. I liked listening to his insights about the work to be done.
And…well…let’s be honest, Mr. Barnes was easy on the eyes.
He’d undone his tie and a few buttons, his white dress shirt rolled up over his long, muscular forearms, his dark hair sticking up off his forehead from running a hand through it, the edge of his dog tags peeking out from under the shirt, the watch I’d got him for his birthday glinting in the dying sunlight coming in through the window. No one could deny how handsome he was, not even me.
“There,” I said, closing the folder. “Last one. You are free. Run from this place. Escape into the sunset.”
Bucky snorted. “There is no escape from the accursed paperwork.”
He sat back in his chair and stretched, stifling a yawn. “But you’re right; that’s it for the day. I’m bushwhacked. I need to go sleep for 72 hours.”
“Probably longer than that. What on Earth do you get up to when you leave here?”
“Well, lemme put it this way,” he said as he stood up and held out my suit jacket for me. “It’s a good thing I’m well-versed in the law. I know which ones not to break.”
I shook my head. “So you’re a bonafide criminal behind closed doors, huh?”
“Oh, the worst,” he joked as he pulled his jacket on as well. The office had cleared out about an hour ago, so he flipped off the light in his office as we left and we headed for the elevator, waving to the janitor as we went. “What about you? Any plans for this evening?”
“Absolutely none. There’s a bubble bath with my name on it.”
He laughed. “Didn’t figure you for the bubble bath type. Just goes to show that people can still surprise you. Speaking of which, I’m surprised there’s no boyfriend waiting up for you naked with a rose in his teeth.”
I laughed. “Not with the hours I keep here, no. He’d have to be a vampire or something.”
The elevator dinged and the doors parted. We walked in together and I hit the lobby button.
“Damn. Didn’t know I was messing with your love life.” He cocked his head slightly. “Then again, I do love having you all to myself.”
I rolled my eyes. “You would. I’m definitely your work wife.”
“You are. I love it. I’m probably gonna get so salty when you do eventually get a boyfriend.”
I gave him a sly look. “Bold of you to assume I even want one.”
“Touché. Men are kinda garbage, aren’t they?”
“You have no idea,” I groaned. “It’s been months since I’ve had a decent date. It’s so much effort to try and find someone worthwhile.”
“Tell me about it. I’m not terribly convinced I’ll ever find Mrs. Barnes at the rate I’m going.”
The doors opened and we walked out of the office building together. “Well, you never know. Lightning might strike when you least expect it.”
Bucky smiled at me warmly as he adjusted my scarf around my neck. “I think you might be right. Take tomorrow morning off; I’m coming in at noon. Gotta let you get your beauty rest.”
“Thanks, Bucky. Have a good night.”
He winked. “You too, girlie.”
We separated; me heading for the bus at the end of the block, him heading for his car.
And in case you’re wondering, my bubble bath was lovely.
Not having to get up at seven o’clock in the morning was awesome. I actually made myself a full breakfast and watched a little TV before heading to the office.
But when I got there, it didn’t seem as if all was well.
I knew Bucky’s habits after a full year at his side, day in and day out. I knew something was up because he was pacing near his desk and smoking a cigarette. He didn’t smoke often—he knew it was bad for him—but if something bothered him badly enough, he’d go for his emergency pack in the bottom drawer of his desk. He glanced up when I walked in and put it out politely, not wanting me to breathe in secondhand smoke. “Hey.”
“Hey. What’s wrong?”
Bucky sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sorry. Some personal stuff came up. I’ll be alright. Can you move my four o’clock meeting to tomorrow afternoon?”
“Sure.” I nibbled my lower lip, softening my voice. “Do you need to talk about anything?”
He flicked a small smile at me. “No, sweetheart. Thanks for asking, though.”
“Okay.” I rubbed his metal arm gently. “But I am here if you need me, alright?”
“Yeah, I know. I appreciate it.”
We ran through our day as we always did, but I noticed something unusual at four o’clock: he shut his door and said no calls or interruptions for the next hour. I of course obeyed, but I found it curious. Something dire must have happened if he didn’t want to be disturbed for an hour. It likely meant he was making calls or composing an important email. I worried about him the entire time, wishing I could help, but I knew to be patient and let him work it out for himself.
At five o’clock when everyone else was leaving, I packed up and then knocked on his door. He said I could come in and I did. He’d been through three cigarettes in an hour, the poor dear.
“I’m gonna be late tonight, sweetheart,” he said, rubbing his thumb along the crease in his forehead, the cig between his first and second finger. “So you can go ahead home.”
“Bucky,” I said as gently as possible. “I know it’s none of my business, but I wish you’d tell me what’s wrong. You’re obviously stressed out; I mean, I’ve never seen you smoke more than two in a single day.”
He smiled faintly. “You know me too well. But trust me, it’s not something I want you to get involved with.”
I crossed my arms. “Try me.”
Bucky flopped onto the couch and took a puff. “No, really. I don’t even think you’d believe me if I told you and even if you did, I don’t want to drag you into my mess.”
“Well, sometimes you need someone to help you clean up the mess. I don’t know anyone more well-suited for it than me. After all, I clean up all the work messes anyway.”
“That’s true, it’s just…” He winced. “I don’t want to mess up what we’ve got going. It’s good. It works. And I respect you a lot. I don’t want that to go away.”
“Bucky…” He looked up at me then. “It can’t hurt to at least give it a shot. Maybe I can help and maybe I can’t, but I can certainly listen either way.”
He licked his lips, still apprehensive. “Even if it might affect how you see me as a person?”
“Like I’m gonna throw stones in this glass house. I’m far from perfect and I’d be a bitch to expect you to be perfect.”
Bucky pressed his lips together as if he wanted to protest, but then he just checked his watch and sighed. “Fuck. Well, in for a penny, in for a pound.”
He stood up and tucked one hand inside his pocket, resuming his pacing but along the coffee table instead of the desk. “You might want to sit for this, just warnin’ ya.”
I lifted my eyebrows, but sat on the couch anyway. “What’s wrong, Bucky?”
He took a deep pull on the cig and then let out a smoky breath. “Right, so you know that lots of times I’ve come into work with a hangover. What you don’t know is why. It’s not just that I’m nocturnal. I have a…condition, I guess is the easiest way to explain it. This…condition…is usually the reason I’m up all night.”
“Okay,” I said, waiting for more. “What kind of condition is it?”
Bucky took another deep pull on the cig and then let it out slowly. “Do you know what an incubus is?”
I frowned. “Sure, from folklore and fiction. It’s a creature that feeds on someone’s life force through sex. The male version is an incubus; the female version is a succubus. Why?”
“Incubi have to feed roughly once per week in order to stay alive. The feeding has to be through penetrative sex; it doesn’t work if it’s just foreplay. Normally, I have a rotating roster of women that I feed off of, but I ran into a problem last night. Without warning, all of my girls decided to leave me in the lurch. It’s never happened before. They just all cut me off out of nowhere. I’m trying to figure out why—there are plenty of incubi and succubi who live in this city and so it’s not uncommon to form social circles out of necessity—but I haven’t come up with anything yet and I only have—”
Bucky glanced at his watch. “—another four hours to find someone to feed on or else I’m going to start deteriorating. And I don’t do one-night stands for feedings; I consider that to be morally bankrupt. Any woman that I feed on has to give her full consent to it or I won’t touch her. If I go long enough without feeding, it’ll kill me.”
Finally, he flicked his wintry gaze up at me. I just stared at him. “So…if this is an office prank, congrats, I don’t get it.”
Bucky groaned. “I told you. I told you that you wouldn’t believe me.”
“Bucky, come on. There are no such things as incubi. You’re probably a sex addict and this is just the way you’ve chosen to describe the problem.”
“I’m not a sex addict, at least not the way that you think I am,” he said, scowling. “And I can prove it.”
“Oh, really?” I asked with the utmost skepticism. “Please do.”
He shook his head. “Knew I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”
“Well, I’m never going to believe you without proof, so you might as well give it the old college try.”
Bucky stooped and put the cigarette out in the ashtray. “Fine. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
He cracked his neck and then relaxed his posture, closing his eyes for a few seconds. Then he opened them and locked eyes with me.
And…and I felt…euphoric.
The office faded into the background. All I could see was Bucky standing there, handsome and disheveled and worried, his tanned skin luminous under the fluorescent lights, alluring as a demigod depicted by a Renaissance painter. My heart rate tripled. My palms got sweaty. My fingers trembled. My body turned to liquid. I wanted him more than anything. I wanted to touch him, feel him, taste him. I wanted him so badly that I thought I’d die if I didn’t have him all to myself.
Before I knew it, I’d left the couch and had wrapped my arms around his neck, lifting up to kiss him, but the moment we touched, he slid his hand up and covered my eyes, severing the connection. I gasped, breathing for the first time in over a minute, shaking with disbelief and fear and most disturbingly, arousal. “B…Bucky…what just…happened?”
“I happened,” he murmured, lowering his hand. “I told you; I’m an incubus. I’m literally designed to make women want me if I assert my will power. But I’m not a monster. I never, ever take from women. It has to be consensual and that’s why I’m in trouble. If I don’t find someone and feed soon, it’s curtains. I’ll literally shrivel up into a husk and then die. I have to find someone. Tonight.”
“Oh my God,” I whispered. “I can’t believe this is real. I can’t believe you’re magic. What the fuck, Bucky?”
He snorted softly. “Yeah, tell me about it. It was not easy growing up, trust me. The hunger developed on my eighteenth birthday. My parents had quite a time explaining it to me.”
“Well…I don’t mean to be crass, but what about prostitutes?”
Bucky arched an eyebrow. “I don’t exactly know how that works. You can’t just Google it. And I run the risk of one of them saying no or setting me up to rob me.”
“Friends?”
He shook his head. “Most of ‘em are married or unavailable tonight. I’m up shit creek without a paddle.”
I gulped. “Yeah, you are. Oh, boy.”
I turned and paced the same as he’d done, crossing my arms as I tried to think of a solution that didn’t involve springing this all on some poor, innocent one-night stand. And it occurred to me not long after.
“I…” I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. “You could…if you wanted to…”
“What?”
I clenched my hands over my biceps and raised my voice. “Y-You could…you know…use me.”
Silence. Damning silence. Fuck, I should’ve kept my damn mouth shut. I heard him shift behind me. “You can’t possibly mean that.”
“Well, shit, Bucky, you’re gonna die if you don’t. Sorry if I’m a repulsive choice, but that’s the only alternative I can think of—” I yipped as he grabbed my arm and spun me around, his eyes flat and hard as he glared at me.
“You are not repulsive,” he said firmly. “Especially not to me. Don’t ever say that again or I’ll put you over my knee.”
Oh my. Not the reaction I’d expected in the least. “Uh, s-sorry, I won’t.”
Bucky exhaled, concern clouding his features. “I don’t want you to do this for me. You deserve better.”
“Oh, bullshit, Barnes. I’m not some fair virgin up on a tower somewhere waiting for my Prince Charming. I’m your work wife. Hell, I’m your friend. If your choices are to fuck me or die, sorry, I guess you’re just gonna have to live with fucking me.”
He searched my gaze for a long moment. I could see in his eyes that he was considering it, despite whatever chivalrous streak he still had. “Do you understand what you’re offering? What I do isn’t painful, but it is essentially me eating part of your soul. Not enough to harm you or kill you, but that’s what I’d do to you. If you take this step with me, there’s no going back. We’d both be vulnerable with each other. Exposed. Is that what you want?”
That was a loaded question. I summoned all of my strength to answer him. “Yes, Bucky. You’re not coercing me into this—I’m volunteering as tribute. I like you. I trust you.”
Bucky winced. “You shouldn’t.”
“That’s my mistake to make. So are we doing this or not?”
He stared at me, the hunger evident in his eyes as the last bits of sunlight died beyond the horizon. “Yes. Yes, we are.”