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Jimin is an out and proud Little, at least among his members. He used to be anxious and afraid that people would find out about his little secret, but the other members quickly and gently put those fears to rest. It was an accident how they found out, but he’s never been happier that they did. Jimin of the past would never have believed that one day he’d have six wonderful Caregivers that spoil him rotten: Namjoon, who is always patient; Jin, who always has a treat on hand; Yoongi, who is quieter about his attention but perhaps the most vigil; Hoseok, who is always happy to cuddle; Taehyung, who always encourages his happiness at every turn; and Jungkook, who is always ready to play with him.
But it’s not all fun and games. The life of an idol is fulfilling but busy. He doesn’t always get to regress when he wants to, having to plan around their busy schedules, but he doesn’t usually have to wait long.
Jimin has been on the edge of slipping into Little Space for days now, but they’ve had back-to-back schedules and there’s just been no time to safely fall into that headspace. They’re all running on the bare minimum of sleep and it’s taking a toll. The members are quicker to anger than usual, patience running thin. So even if Jimin could find the time, he’s not so sure the other members would want to spend their valuable free time fulfilling their Caretaker duties and watching over him.
So Jimin just waits, trying to be patient and understanding. They have one last concert tonight and then a short break before anything else in their schedule. He’ll give the members a couple of days to catch up on rest and then approach one of them about if they feel up to looking after him.
It’s not even so much that he wants to regress as, at this point, he needs to. It feels like his hold on his Big self is getting more and more precarious, his Little self just waiting for the slightest slip-up to burst free. It makes him a bit anxious, fearing what would happen if he regressed away from the safety of their home.
Jimin doesn’t realize he’s been anxiously biting on the nail of his thumb until he feels a light slap on the back of his hand. It doesn’t really hurt, but it effectively jerks him out of his thoughts enough to come back to the present, half listening as a coordi-noona scolds him for biting his nails. He tries to focus on her words, staring at her reflection in the mirror in front of him for a moment with narrowed eyes. She doesn’t seem to notice, quickly going back to work on perfecting his hair.
He feels kind of weird, his senses a little off. It’s like sounds are coming in through a filter, muffled and slightly distorted. Lights seem just a bit too bright. The myriad of scents in the green room all of a sudden overwhelming. His clothes feel too rough and too tight.
He feels his heart beating erratically in his chest, like a bird desperately attempting to free its cage, and realizes his breathing has gone shaky. The cordi-noona seems to realize something is wrong, too. She stops messing with his hair, which he’s thankful for because all of a sudden he doesn’t want to be touched. He tries to swallow, but there’s a sudden lump in his throat and his mouth is dry. A whimper escapes him without his consent and the coordi-noona starts shouting something over his head.
Jimin squeezes his eyes shut and tries to control his breathing, but it’s hard. Everything is too much. He reaches his hands up to cover his ears from the noise around him. There are hands on him again and he just wants to be left alone! He tries to open his mouth to tell whoever is touching him to Go Away, but his words fail him.
Then all of a sudden he feels the air around him shifting, the faint pull of air as his seat is turned. There are gentle fingers combing through his hair. Warm hands come up to cover his own, pulling his hands back down to his lap, but the warm hands don’t leave. Instead, long fingers intertwine with his smaller ones, gently squeezing. There’s a touch on the side of his neck, a gentle smoothing motion up and down the column of his neck.
He opens his eyes.
The first person he sees is Hoseok, the man crouched in front of his chair. It’s his fingers that are intertwined with his own. There’s a small frown on his face that’s gone the second the older man realizes he has Jimin’s attention, a wide smile growing in its place. Jimin stares at his heart-shaped smile for a second, dazed.
His eyes move to Taehyung crouched to his right, who also smiles when he sees he’s gotten Jimin’s attention. That big, boxy smile so familiar and warm, just like his thumb that slowly moves on the side of his neck.
Jungkook stands behind Taehyung along with Yoongi, both standing vigil. Yoongi stands with his arms crossed and keeps his gaze trained on Jimin’s face, watching every flicker of emotion attentively. Jungkook manages a weak upturn of his lips when their gazes meet, but his brows stay furrowed in worry. He turns his head to the side and Jimin follows his eyes to see Namjoon talking to their manager, looking back at Jimin every so often. Which leaves just one.
The fingers in his hair haven’t stopped, gently moving between the strands and thoroughly ruining the coordi-noona’s hard work, but at the moment Jimin doesn’t care. His eyelashes flutter at the soothing feeling and he tilts his head to the side to see Jin standing behind him. The man smiles gently and Jimin feels his own lips mimicking the motion.
The world still feels a little bit too much, but with his members here it’s more bearable.
Namjoon joins them a moment later, their manager a few steps behind but Jimin focuses on their leader. “Hey, Minnie,” he says, voice soft and gentle. “What’s going on?”
A pleasant shiver runs down his spine at his hyung’s voice, more so the tone than from the words spoken. It’s the same tone of voice he uses with Little Jimin. His mouth is still dry when he tries to respond and all he lets out is a croak, frowning afterward.
A water bottle is handed to him, but Jimin doesn’t want to let go of Hoseok’s hands. When the elder moves as if to untangle their intertwined fingers, Jimin lets out a loud whine that seems to startle the other members. Tears burn the back of his eyes and he tries to curl into himself, desperately holding onto the hands in his own. Hoseok’s eyes are wide when he looks back at him, but the look of surprise softens into another smile. Jimin’s fingers are gently squeezed and he relaxes just a fraction.
He doesn’t understand what’s going on. It doesn’t feel quite like he’s regressed. It doesn’t feel quite like a panic attack either, which would be his second guess. He’s still more or less aware of his surroundings, or at least aware of the members around him. He’s confused and the feeling bubbles uncomfortably in his chest.
“Let me help you with that,” Taehyung says, reaching to take the offered bottle of water and uncapping it.
Jimin opens his mouth obediently when the younger tilts the water bottle to his lips, a large hand curling under his chin to catch anything that spills. He looks at the attentive face the younger is making and feels warmth pool in his tummy. Jimin wishes he had his sippy cup. A trickle of water escapes and Taehyung swipes it quickly away with his thumb.
When the water bottle is pulled away, Jimin licks his lips and smiles shyly at the younger. “Thank you, Taetae.”
Taehyung winks at him. “No problem, Chimchim.”
Jimin feels a little dazed, smiling goofily down at Hoseok, who returns the smile with a wide one of his own and a squeeze of his fingers. Jimin feels a giggle trapped in his chest and doesn’t hesitate to let it loose. He feels lighter now.
Oh.
Maybe he did regress a little bit. Is it possible to regress only a little? He doesn’t feel like he usually does when he’s Little, but he doesn’t feel entirely Big anymore, either.
The clearing of a throat brings Jimin’s attention back to Namjoon and that’s when he remembers his hyung asked him a question before. “Sorry, Joonie,” he mumbles.
His hyung’s eyes widen a bit at that since Jimin only calls him Joonie when he’s in Little Space. The rest of the members seem to realize the same, a pause going between the group. Namjoon closes the distance between them and crouches down beside Hoseok, the latter shuffling to the side slightly to make more room.
“No need to be sorry, Min.” Namjoon throws a glance towards their manager and the rest of their team before focusing back on Jimin, putting one big hand on Jimin’s thigh and rubbing soothingly. “Feeling better?”
Jimin hums approvingly. “Yeah, ‘m better. Was just too much.”
Jin behind him makes a questioning noise. “What was too much, Jiminie?”
Jimin shrugs. “E’erything.” He fiddles with the fingers interlaced with his own.
The members share a look between each other.
Namjoon taps on his thigh to get his attention again and then leans forward, speaking in a hushed voice when he asks, “Minnie, are you feeling Little?”
Jimin pouts. He’s still not altogether sure. “Maybe.”
“Maybe?” Namjoon repeats. “What do you mean?”
“Dunno,” Jimin mumbles and shrugs.
He looks down at where his fingers are joined with his Hobi’s, suddenly nervous. He doesn’t think the members would be very happy if they knew he’d sort of regressed. And maybe they’re mind readers because then Hoseok’s leaning forward and shaking their intertwined hands playfully.
“Hey, no need to be nervous.” The rapper’s all smiles once Jimin dares to look at his hyung’s face. “No one’s upset with you. You gotta be honest with us so we can help you, yeah?”
Jimin chews on his bottom lip and timidly nods his head. A hand reaches out seconds later to free his lip from its place between his teeth, making him pout slightly. He wishes he had one of his pacis so he didn’t have to talk.
“Um… maybe not all the way Little? Just a little Little.”
“So you haven’t fully regressed. But you feel like you could?” Namjoon asks.
Jimin tries not to shrink away, anxiety bubbling up. “Didn’t mean to, hyungie. I was tryna wait, but it’s hard.”
“No, you’re not in trouble, sweet boy,” Jin cuts in.
Namjoon nods, smiling reassuringly at Jimin. “That’s right. Things have been so hectic and it’s been a while since you last got to be Little. Of course, it would take a toll on you. You’ve probably been in danger of slipping for days now.”
“Yeah,” Jimin mumbles, still not entirely sure the members aren’t upset at him.
“That’s on us,” Namjoon says. “We—I should have checked in with you to see how you were doing. Hyung is sorry.”
“’S okay.”
“No, it’s not.” Namjoon lets out a long sigh, gently squeezing where he still has one hand on Jimin’s thigh. He chances a look at their manager before fixing his gaze back on Jimin. “I wish I could let you regress fully, but you can’t right now.”
Even though Jimin already knew this, hearing it out loud still has tears burning the back of his eyes. He sniffles pathetically and averts any eye contact, staring down at the rings on his fingers. He tries not to pout too noticeably but thinks he probably fails.
“Aigoo,” Hoseok coos at him. “So cute! Put that pout away and hyung will give you a surprise when we get home, how does that sound?”
Jimin can’t help the way he lights up at the prospect of a surprise. “What kinda surprise?”
“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you what it was, now would it?” Hoseok sing-songs.
“Ooh!” Taehyung crows, shuffling closer and looks at Jimin with sparkly eyes. “We can get takeout on the way home and then camp out in the living room! We’ll bring out all the blankets and pillows and make a big pillow fort and fill it with cute plushies and yummy snacks!”
Jimin gasps, stars in his eyes at the very thought. “Can we get Banana Kick? And ice cream?!”
“Anything you want! We’re gonna have a party!”
There are a few chuckles, groans, and sighs. Jimin looks to Namjoon, the man having made the biggest sigh in the bunch, but he smiles brightly when he notices he has Jimin’s attention and chuckles.
“Maybe we’ll wait to have a party until we’ve all gotten a bit more rest, but we can certainly get takeout tonight and watch a movie together,” Namjoon says.
“Oh.” Jimin can’t help but feel disappointed, having gotten excited from Taehyung’s words.
“We can still make a pillow fort!” Namjoon quickly adds, having noticed Jimin’s disappointment. “And we should still have some snacks back at home, but honestly I’m not sure how late any of us would be able to stay up. It wouldn’t be very much of a party if everyone fell asleep early, now would it?”
Jimin shakes his head.
“So we’ll wait and do that in a couple of days after we’ve all caught up on sleep, okay?”
Jimin nibbles on his bottom lip, considering. Finally, he frees one hand and raises his pinky finger out to Namjoon shyly. “Pinky promise?”
Namjoon’s smile turns soft, endeared, as he wraps his little finger around Jimin’s and presses their thumbs together. “Pinky promise.”
Taehyung and Jungkook collectively crow in excitement at the promise, throwing their arms into the air and making Jimin giggle, earning a few chuckles from their hyungs as well.
“Now, do you think you can be Big long enough for the concert? Just until we get home, and then you’re free to be as Little as you want,” Namjoon asks.
Jimin hums and nods slowly, already feeling the world around him coming into sharper focus. Not the overstimulating kind from early but in a way he recognizes from when he’s Big. He lets out a little sigh and nods more firmly. He gently squeezes Hoseok’s fingers intertwined in his and then lets go, straightening his spine and rolling his shoulders. He can be Big for a few more hours.
Namjoon pats his knee and stands, groaning dramatically as he goes and earning laughter from all. Slowly the members ease away from him. Jin gently squeezes his shoulder before stepping back, Hoseok stands and flashes him a heart smile, Taehyung stands and briefly tickles under his chin, Yoongi visibly relaxes, and Jungkook gives him a happy bunny smile complete with a nose scrunch.
Even as the chaos resumes and the coordi-noona comes to redo his hair, Jimin feels warm with the love from his fellow members, his family. He feels like the luckiest person in the world.